again, it scanned really dark, which kind of is pissing me off, so you can't really see the shading on his jacket and glove and hair as good as I'd like

and the picture didn't fit all the way on my scanner, so you can't see his hand entirely (which I drew all of) which is probably better, because I'm not super happy with how the claws came out. they're not horrible but they're not great either

anyway, I'm watching The Hunger and about to start another one... this one of a REAL person... my brother Nathan

it's being slow.

I think it's old and busted.

I need a T1 connection. That would be the new hotness.

Fer real

I'm in kind of a weird place. Not a BAD place really. I mean, I'm not upset or anything.

I'm just weird.

I don't want to go to sleep. I want to stay awake and do stuff. I do so love my nights. The house is quiet and I've only got myself to worry about. I can do whatever I want (provided it's quiet) and everything is peaceful.

But I’m tired. I don't want to be. I want to be awake and coherent enough to do something productive like write or even draw up another portrait. I did one yesterday but I'm not very happy with it. In fact, it's my least favorite so far.

I'm still learning this technique. I understand that. But I'm very impatient and overly critical when it comes to my own creative endeavors. If something I'm doing isn't perfect, I hate it and want to throw it away.

I need to give myself more credit and I need to accept that when I'm using new tools and whatnot, not every picture is going to turn out perfectly.

I also think I need to focus more on my own personal style rather than trying to perfectly duplicate a photograph.

here's the one I did yesterday (while watching Interview With the Vampire... I forgot how totally awesome that movie is)

In fact... after scanning it, I've decided I'm not even going to upload it. I hate it that much.

It was a portrait of Belladonna, my favorite female porn star.

Specifically, it was this photo

And it turned out horrible and I'm totally beating myself up over it. I don't really get this slump I've managed to start sliding into. I wasn't overly happy with the Christopher Reeve picture, I really dislike the Belladonna picture, and I'm pretty concerned that the one I'm working on now (it's of Hugh Jackman as Wolverine) is going to turn out looking like shit.

We'll see on that one.

If that one turns out good, it'll restore my faith in myself. If it turns out shitty, I'll have to rethink my approach.

Another thing that sucks is that I've been using this bristle board drawing paper stuff... and like, it rocks so hard drawing on it because it's nice and perfectly white (as apposed to my sketchbooks, which (because the paper is thin) looks more gray) and my pencil lines show up much darker and bolder and the contrast rocks compared to my sketch book

But a pad of 20 pages costs 17 fuckin bucks at Michaels.

that place is so fucking expensive it makes my colon hurt.

So like, I'm paranoid about wasting any of the paper. If I fuck up on a picture and then I lose a sheet, that's like, one more closer to not having any more paper and potentially not being in a position to buy more and then never being able to draw ever never again.

That's some stress

anyway

enough about that.

I had a dream last night. It was much longer than the part I'll tell you about. I'll leave the rest out because it's all jumbled and isn't really relevant to this post.

So basically what's going on in the dream is that my family (my mom, her husband, my sister delena and my wife) and I were stealing the caboose off of a train. We were stealing it because it was an "armored" caboose full of money. Also, there was some kind of massive power outage all over the country (America in my dream) and we were taking advantage of that in order to steal this money. So we have this massive heist and disconnect the caboose from the train and end up PUSHING it along the tracks back to this designated spot where we were going to guard it until this dude showed up with a van to load all the money into. Then the money was going to go to a boat, but I didn't get that far.

So anyway, I'm sitting here by the train, guarding it, and I'm talking to these black dudes with guns who are like, all gangsta'd out. They're just sitting on the curb shooting the shit (like... metaphorically... not literally) and I'm talking with them, but at the same time, I'm trying not to let on that there's something interesting about this train car that's sitting on the tracks in front of them. I'm trying to play all like "pshaw, there aint no millions of dollars in there. Fer shizzle, my nizzle."

So anyway, a bunch of other shit happened and bla bla bla...

here's the fun part

So I had my alarm set to wake me up at 8:45 this morning. The clock radio goes off and Eddie Money's Two Tickets to Paradise is playing.

I spring out of bed, still half asleep, and I start pulling my pants on and thinking to myself "okay, I gotta run outside, run to the red circle, talk to James Woods, go steal a boat, sneak onto the Army ship and steal the Hydra plane"

Why did I do this?

Some of you may know

Anyone who's played Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas and who's listened to K-DST or The Dust on their car radio (within the game) with DJ Tommy "Nightmare" Smith (voiced by the completely unrecognizable and surprisingly funny and capable Axl Rose) for any length of time will know that one of the songs you'll hear over and over in the game is Two Tickets to Paradise.

Hearing that song as I woke up had me actually believing, briefly (long enough to get out of bed and start getting dressed) that I was IN the game. Not in a "wow! I'm in a video game!" sort of way, but in a "I've got some Autos to Grand Theft" matter of fact sort of way.

I mean, it was a matter of like, maybe twenty seconds.

But sheesh... that's a long twenty seconds when you realize, one leg in your pants, stumbling towards to the door, that you think you're invincible and capable of shooting anyone you want, stealing anything you want and retardedly rich.

I don't know if I was more embarrassed, relieved or disappointed to realize that that I was actually just Joe and not Carl "CJ" Johnson on his way to talk to James Woods about stealing that new military jet.

It's weird... I've been playing Grand Theft Auto so much that there are times when I'm driving that I will see a bitchin motorcycle cruise past and get the impulse to suddenly jump out of my car and run after it, with the intention of knocking the driver off and speeding away on it.

Or when I'm driving and someone cuts me off and my first gut reaction is drive them off the road until they get out of their car and then cap them in the face with my combat shotgun.

Yeah. I guess it's all pretty sick.

In related news, I beat San Andreas today. The cool thing is that there's still all kinds of shit left I can do. I can go back and get all my girlfriends up to 100% and I can build up my stats and do the little mini missions and shit. That's kinda cool.

In other related news:
Listening to the radio stations in this game rocks. They're all pretty awesome. I was a little disappointed with the talk radio on this one though. Not nearly as good as they last two games. I did manage to realize how awesome this song by Joe Cocker is. Woman to Woman. It rocks extra hard.

Ha.

It's two in the morning now. I've managed to spend three hours writing this... Different things I'd write in this post would spawn my looking up more information about them online. I spent probably 45 minutes trying to find out who did the voice of the Radio X DJ "Sage" online. (it was someone named jodie shawback... I still haven't figured out who SHE is. She's not in the internet movie database)
I looked up the manufacturer of my bristle board drawing paper and who distributes it, which spawned all sorts of drawing supply related internet browsing.

So I got my wish. It's two am and I'm now content to go to sleep (because I'm almost blind I'm so tired... I don't think I really CAN do anything else)

and here I am still typing.

now I stop.

wait

now I spell check.

then I post. Then I pee. Then I...

Just saw the ghost. Damnit. That always gives me a little jump in the old ticker.

yeah. Night night time

I'm not as happy with this one as I was with some of the other ones, but I still like it.

My talon is wearing out and I think I'll need to pick up some more, so the blending isn't nearly as good as some of the other ones... plus, there was a LOT more going on in this one (the background and everything) and so I started getting bored with it and wanted to move onto something else



I might come back to it later and touch it up some more.

Also, don't forget, that my scanner scans pretty dark, so this isn't a perfect representation of the original picture

this has been bugging me for a couple days now

I was watching some kind of awards show and The Beastie Boys were performing this song about New York and I recognized the guitar riff that went all the way though it, but I couldn't figure out what it was and it's been driving me nuts.

I kept thinking it was Pearl Jam but I knew that wasn't right...

I JUST FIGURED IT OUT

It was Sonic Reducer by The Dead Boys.

Sheesh, that's a load off my mind. It's been seriously bothering me.

And, I'm not entirely stupid, because Pearl Jam does a cover of that song. Bitchin.

Good song, btw.

when Ashlee Simpson had her little fuck up on SNL, I totally defended her. I felt bad for her. Shit happens.

I've made a point to be very open minded about pop stars and generally defend them, even when I don't particularly like thier music... mostly because it pisses me off how people are so bitter and cynical about pop music.

I like pop music and I enjoy it's place in our society. It serves a purpose and there are some extremely talented pop singers out there.

So when Ashlee had her fuck up, I was like "what a bummer for her" because, well... it happens. It's no new thing that a lot of pop singers will lip sync during live performances to various degrees... be it a staged, TV performance like SNL (more common) or the MTV awards or at a concert venue (not quite as common, but Britney is disgustingly guilty of it).

Anyway, my point in all this comes in the next paragraph.

Sandra's been watching the Ashlee Simpson reality TV show. Watching that show makes me want to fucking curbe stomp that whiney, dumb little twat.

My god. Shut the fuck up.

Sheesh.

On the other hand, I find her sister absolutely delightful and massive in the tittie department and without a ugly weird looking beak.

did this one last night while watching the first episode of this season's Amazing Race and half of the audio commentary on Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless mind. Took me about three hours


and I finished up that Royal Tenenbaums picture. Not overly happy with this one though



I want to do a naked lady next. Thinking about Danni Ashe

here's one I did some work on last night



Gwyneth Paltrow and Luke Wilson in the Royal Tenenbaums

UPDATE:

had to change the icon. Don't want Sandra getting in trouble at work

I'm digging this whole portrait thing

for some reason the pictures scan much darker than they actually are... I even tried to lighten it in photoshop but that just made it look shitty

I wasn't sure if I was capable of it... so last night i sat down and tried to bang out a decent portrait of someone.

my subject: Stephen King

lemme know what you think

I think this very well could be a contender for "stupidest looking movie of all time"

http://www.sonofthemask.com

okay, so like... given that a remake of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was like, my ultimate dream movie that I would have smothered a baby for the chance to do... and the fact that Tim I-Can't-Tell-A-Story-To-Save-My-Life Burton is now doing my movie drives me absolutely batshit...

that considered... I still fucking lose my shit when I see new stuff for his Willy Wonka movie. I mean... even though I'm furious with jealousy and bitterness... if there was anyone to do it besides me, I guess it should be Burton.

Even though my would've been HELLA better.

anyway... check this shit








okay... so the kids look fucking awesome. I dunno where Mike TeeVee is, or Charlie for that matter... but yeah.

I hate to say it, because I think the guy's awesome... but Johnny looks like... kind of like... gay.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

But like...

yeah.

oh, and what's up with the last guy? I'm guessing that's an Oompa Loompa, but like... why is he dressed like Mork?

Still waiting with baited breath.

I don't know what baited breath is, but I've got some.

Oh...

and if you were wondering where I've been for the last week... I was institutionalized. But I don't want to talk about it. Not yet at least.

For serious.

to own that Charlie and the Chocolate Factory poster.

Like... if I don't own it, I will surely die.

I must have it on my wall, framed and hanging over my computer desk.

I must have it now.

NOW

and it's not on Ebay. Those fucking cocksuckers better get it availible fast or someone's gonna get curb stomped.

Like, seriously.

NOW!!!

I want that poster
I want that WONKA poster
framed and displayed all up on my wall
it's my fucking dollar
GIVE IT TO ME NOW

I WANT A FEAST!
I WANT A BEAN FEAST
Big dogs and donuts so fucked up I'm so nuts
give me some pork butts
give it to me now!

DON'T CARE HOW
I WANT IT NOW!!
DON'T CARE HOW
I WANT IT NOOOOOWWWW!!!!

Honk
Honk

If she had any sense at all (and I have a feeling she doesn't) she would lay in bed and cry because some doctor has completely butchered her tits. Like... real bad.

This is what happens when implants go wrong.

Tara Ried's dress fell off a little while back, exposing her really BAD boob job.


thanks to robont for the hook up

I think I may need to get a new monitor. Mine is covered in sticky white fluid.

Okay, so I went to see The Grudge today.

But let me start earlier than that.

Last night (god that seems like a long time ago) I watched Ju On, which is the original Japanese version of The Grudge. It was quite freaky and fucked up and actually got me kinda scared in parts. I jumped a few times in my papasan chair and maybe spilled a little popcorn at certain points in the movie.

While not as fucked up as Audition or Ichi the Killer, and not as much of a mind fuck as Suicide Club, I felt it was a very well done horror flick with some pretty interesting directing and imagery.

Something that really struck me though was the "behind the scenes" footage of some of the scenes being shot. It was weird because like, when I watch a regular western flick, I can see the film makers behind the scenes directing and setting up shots and coaching actors. I'm totally comfortable with the whole process of how films are made with American actors and whatnot... but Japanese flicks are so... different... that I can't really imagine them being made. I guess I've just always assumed they just appeared out of no where.

But watching the director(Takashi Shimizu) directing was just... neat. Everyone was so respectful to each other and like, they all seemed so into what they were doing.

Now, I'm no foreign film enthusiast by any stretch of the imagination. It's something I'm not proud of, but honestly I have hard time watching them generally. It's not the reading that bothers... it's just that I'm so comfortable with my American movies that watching something foreign is a fair bit of work for me... and I almost never end up getting the same satisfaction from watching something Japanese or French or Italian or whatever that I do from watching something American.

I don't like that about myself, because I feel less open minded about movies.

But it is what it is.

There are quite a few foreign flicks I dig. I thought Suicide Club was awesome. I thought Brotherhood of the Wolf was pretty awesome (though the French language gets on my nerves and I have a hard time listening to it at lengths... so I actually watched the dubbed version, which is like, a serious movie buff sin... kind of like watching a movie in Full Screen... *shudder*)

anyway, so I watched Ju On and I dug it quite a lot... so I got pretty curious to see how the same director would do directing the same movie, but with American actors for an American audience.

So I knew that I'd have a hard time actually breaking down and going to pay full price to go and see it by myself (cause Sandra sure as hell wouldn't go and Gavin is in Vancouver) so I broke down and went to The Caprice, which is the cheap theater here in town.

Which also happens to be the place I used to work and was fired from, and I vowed I would never go back.

But Christ, four bucks to get in?

So I went... and was reminded of one of the many reasons I fucking hate that place.

Yes, the price is good... but you get what you pay for.

Not only is a shitty little theater with a crappy small screen, a shaky camera and a funky smell... but being in Langford (the white trash ghetto suburb of Victoria) you are watching the movie with Langford folk, who are generally crappy, toothless retards who don't shower and can't string together five or six sentences without taking a break to puke up tobacco juice and cheap wino wine. They're generally a bunch of goodwill shoplifting, 1986 rusted unpainted van driving, kid beating, pregnant cheap cigarette smoking skanky ass whores and drunk fuckheads on welfare, sucking on Swisher Sweet cigars and pushing a broken stroller containing a dirty child covered in dried no-name brand coco pebbles and wearing only a soiled, stinking diaper.

I fucking hate this place.

But yeah, so I'm sitting in a theater with this riffraff and there are two different groups of kids sitting behind me. These are kids with haircuts their moms did (poorly, probably through a fog of crystal meth) and shirts that say "if you can read this, I fucked your mother" or something to that effect. Kids who have no concept of respect that goes beyond understanding that the cops hassle them if they get caught writing (as best as they can with what little education they've managed to absorb) their pathetic little gang names on the walls of the ghetto Can-West Mall bathroom.

I have a hard time writing about the patrons of this theater without going into a rage. I'll try and just carry on with the story

So these little bastards won't fucking shut up. I mean, seriously. They keep fucking yammering all through the movie.

I turned around three times and asked them to shut up. It worked KIND of with the first group. I only had to ask them once, and they just lowered it down to just above a whisper (which I could still hear clearly what they were saying, but at least it wasn't as bad as it was) but the other group... they got quiet for about four minutes and then started back up again. I asked them again to shut up. Same deal.

In the past, I've had no problem with standing up and kind of showing off that I'm a pretty big guy and I can at least look kind of like I could beat the living shit out of you if I wanted... but the thing with kids... especially little yellow-eyes, scab skinned fuckwads like these Langford kids... they know that no adult is actually going to kick their ass. They aren't afraid of anything. So trying to intimidate them is kind of a big fucking waste of time.

Which is a pretty frustrating feeling. It makes you want to actually belt a 13 year old in the fucking mouth, just to maybe teach him that he's NOT as powerful as he thinks he is.

But, because I can't do that without getting sued or arrested or both, what it comes down to is that a 13 year old IS that powerful. I mean, shit, really, what am I gonna do?

Fuckers.

what the fuck was I talking about?

Oh yes. The Grudge

but wait. Not yet

Lemme tell you about The Ring first.

I watched The Ring and I loved it.

Then I watched Ringu, and I thought it was pretty good... though, honestly, I liked the Americanize version of The Ring better. The Japanese version had a lot of weird paranormal, psychic shit in it that I thought was kind of stupid. It also had some pretty over the top acting that didn't impress me and the special effects weren't as good. There was ONE part of the Japanese version that I liked a lot that I with they'd included in the American version but whatever (the scene where the doctors take the girl to the little meeting to show off her skills and she starts doing weird shit and offing people)

Plus, Ringu didn't really scare me. The Ring scared me... but I found Ringu almost kind of silly. I felt that The Ring really tightened up the story and built on characters that needed building on and cut out a lot of excessive bullshit that didn't really need to be there.

I bring up The Ring simply because they're very similar movies and they both were originally Japanese horror flicks that were remade for American audiences.

The major difference between the two is that The Ring was directed by American director Gore Verbinski and The Grudge was directed by the guy who directed the original Japanese version of the film.

He essentially (not essentially... exactly) remade his own film for American audiences, even down to casting a lot the original actors from the first film as the same characters in the new film . He set the film in Japan and (as far as I could tell) used the same house as the original. I mean, in a lot of ways, it was almost the same fucking movie but with a bigger budget and a few American actors in key roles. Even a lot of the shots were the same.

Which all felt kind of redundant to me. I felt like I was watching a bigger budget version of the same movie, but with a few crucial differences... that didn't really make it any better.

Those differences are as follows:

#1. Sarah Michelle Geller is completely fucking worthless. I hope to god that I never have to see her in another movie, because watching her in this one was painful. I know Buffy is big and I love people who love Buffy love her... but my god... I actually looked forward to parts of the movie that didn't have her in it.

#2. They cut out this whole long (bad ass) story line where this teenage girl and her friends go into the house to drink and one of the chicks takes off because she's scared (because it's haunted) and then the other girls disappear... and then the one girl that left starts to go crazy and then her friends come back as hot dead Asian school girl zombies and get all up in her grill and kill her. That part was fucking RAD and I wish they'd kept it in.

Plus, the chick who that part of the story was about was super fucking hot. I don't usually go for the Asian chicks (nothing against them mind you... it's just not my thing generally) but man... I totally wanted to get all up into this chick


#3. This is something that really bothered me... mostly because it kind of made me rethink my own views on cinema and marketing and American film vs... like... "the whole rest of the world" film.

They kind of had to dumb the movie down for the American version. That REALLY bugged me. A lot.

Like, in the original movie a lot of shit was left unexplained. You just kind of had to accept that this is how it is and that's that. I dug that a lot. It was like... shit is haunted... you know some terrible shit happened in this house and you get a kind of vague idea of what happened but you don't know the whole story and you don't really know how everything ties together. You get hints here and there but that's about it.

They did the same thing with The Ring, but it didn't bother me then... mostly because a lot of the stuff made a lot of sense and didn't really seem out of place or like they were trying too hard.

In Ju On, basically you just had a bunch of different people who are vaguely connected dealing with the ghosts in this house. It was kind of like Magnolia with ghosts and not sucking hard dick (I HATED Magnolia)...

But in The Grudge, they took out a bunch of characters and basically tried to cram what was left into one cohesive story that didn't really work. And they went into this whole big ass thing where they tried to spell out how everyone is connected and invented this Bill Pullmen character as a catalyst for explaining everything. There's this horribly annoying scene where Sarah Michelle Geller is wandering around this house following ghost Bill Pullman as he goes through the events that basically set the whole thing into motion.

But the whole scene just felt so forced and stupid. It was like "I know you Americans can't handle not having everything spoon fed to you, so here's the answer to everything"

What REALLY pissed me off is that they're right.

As I'm sitting in the theater, I hear behind me one of the annoying Langford kids say "but he DIED! HOW CAN HE BE HERE IF HE DIED! I DON'T UNDERSTAND!"

They couldn't actually comprehend a non-linear story.

fuck.

So yeah, that really bummed me out. I totally didn't need to have everything tied up in a neat package with a bow... but apparently the majority of people do. Which sucks ass.

It actually made me a little embarrassed of my country.

But given the current political climate, I'm used to that lately.

#4. There was this one creepy scene in Ju On where this chick is at this care center place and there's this old man making faces in the window and laughing and then he starts playing peek-a-boo with his reflection. Then chick pushes him outside (he's in a wheelchair) and he's still playing peek-a-boo with no one and you're all like "this fucking old man is retarded" and then as they walk past this window you see that the old man is playing peek-a-boo with this kid's ghost that only he can see.

What was so cool about it was that it was such a small thing... it was something you would have missed if you weren’t' paying attention. It was just this casual thing you might or not have seen as they walked past this window. It was so subtle and brilliant and worked so perfectly.

I'm totally gonna rip that off if I ever do a ghost movie.

so yeah... while I think that if I hadn't seen Ju On, I probably would have been more into The Grudge... and honestly, the budget helped in making things scarier for the American version. The make up and effects and music heightened things quite a bit and I'll probably remember the scary parts as being scarier in the American version... but man, if only they'd had the budget and access to the talent for the original that they'd had for the remake... then Takashi could have made the best possible version of his movie, in Japanese, and left it at one kickass fucking rad movie and left it at that.

I'm usually all for remaking good foreign flicks... but man... this may have changed my mind. I just wish that innovative directors like this guy could have access to the resources that American film makers have. And I wish that American audiences could actually handle reading subtitles and weren't so fucking xenophobic.

In closing, I'd like to discuss something that I've learned from watching both Ju On and Ringu.

The Japanese are afraid of the following things
#1. Chicks with lots of black hair hanging down in their face
#2. Ghosts that do you the courtesy of calling you on the phone and let you know that they're coming over to fuck your shit up (or, in the case of Ju On, call you up and make croaky noises)
#3. video footage of weird shit that gets all crackly and fucked up while the weird shit starts to happen
#4. Chicks that move all herky jerky and fucked like like their shoulders are broken
#5. people with painted white faces and really wide eyes
#6. photographs not turning out right (indicating that you're gonna die)

now it's time for sleep.

What is up with the sudden surge of spam in my gmail account in the last couple days.

I woke up this morning and had 30 new messages, none of them were actual email... just spam.



this is some BULLSHIT

in other news, Lindsay Lohan keeps pissing me off more and more. I want to throw her off of a building and watch her shatter on the sidewalk. Then feast upon her broken and bleeding corpse.

Well, either that, or I wish she'd just start doing porn and leave it at that. One or the other.

In other other news, Sandra made me a KICK ASS delicious omelet this morning. That's why I'm luckier than you.

In other other other news, I have to take a dump so I'm gonna end this....


...


here.

The Incredibles is... the shit.

Like... seriously.

Brad Bird is my new hero

http://www.apple.com/trailers/disney/cars/

I'ma be HAVIN that!

the revolution is coming

and it will be on the internet.

new_america

stay tuned