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December 1st, 2004


12:10 am - Be Good
Just a note to tell everyone that I'm going to be AWOL for a week, starting now. I'm going on a little jaunt but I won't forget you, I swear. I'll be back soon enough and all you have to do is be good and take care of each-other. Hehe.

Lots of Love,

Scarlet.

xxx.
Current Mood: excited
Current Music: "Oops, I Did It Again" Richard Thompson

 

November 29th, 2004


03:35 pm - Don't Speak Ill Of The Brown Bread
I've never been impressed with the idea of giving my hard earned (by Mr. Demon) cash to a medium. I mean what can a medium really DO for me? The only way he or she could impress me would be to tell me something that I already know...Which is pretty worthless. Or else they could predict something that WILL happen (which I can't change, so also worthless), or predict something that MIGHT happen (which is also worthless, anything MIGHT happen). So yeah, mediums aren't my bag. And most of them are a bunch of evil, money-grabbing charlatans anyway, preying on the unhappy and the desperate...

But then on Sunday morning I heard news, on the local radio, of a medium I WOULD like to see! Oh yes indeed, Linda Green (not sure of the spelling) and her cockney Spirit Guide...Dick!

Imagine THAT! Now that would be worth every penny she charges in sheer entertainment value alone.

I mean she's set up hilarity right off, by having a Spirit Guide with a comedy name. "I'm exhausted, I've been channelling Dick all evening", "Hold hands everyone and let's see if I can feel Dick entering me". Etc. Etc. Great stuff. But better than that she's emphasized that he is a cockney!. Oh, I'm so taken with that idea....

Linda: Dick have you got a message for this lady?
Dick (channelled by Linda): Gor blimey darlin', tell her to just leave it, 'e ain't werf it! No not never 'e ain't.

Linda: Dick, this gentleman wants to know what he should do with his savings...
Dick (channelled by Linda): Lord luv a duck guv'nor, if he's got more than a monkey he should put at least a pony on a dog.

Linda: This lady would like a message from her dead husband.
Dick (channelled by Linda): 'Es very 'appy away from the old trubble and strife, so she needn't worry. 'Es 'avin' a bloody great knees up wiv the lads up the West End of 'Eaven.

I wonder if Linda wears a flat cap and holds her lapels (elbows aloft) when she is being Dick the cockney? I wonder if there is a strange smell of jellied eels in the air as he wafts invisibly into the room? I wonder if he rabbits on or has it away on his toes as soon as possible?

I really need to go to her next gig. But I predict that I won't.

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November 25th, 2004


10:07 pm - Another Trip To The Salon
I never learn do I? Today I went to the hairdressers' again.

I waltzed in and handed my gay male hairdresser friend a picture of a cock in a toaster that Mr. Demon had kindly let me print on his printer (with some eye-rolling). He waved it in the air (the picture, not HIS cock).

"Look what this lady has brought me! She brings me porn from the internet! She's brought me a picture of a man's COCK!!!". The rest of the clientele stared. Other gay hairdressers and a gay man who was waiting to have his hair cut, flocked round to giggle at the picture. I grinned at the havoc I was causing...

Then I sat down and let Heather look at my hair. Heather is a tiny Australian with a passion for convincing me that my hair should be shorter.
" Hoi Scaaaaalet. Lemme look at yer hair," she squinted at me in the mirror. "I think we should cut ya an inch and a haaalf off this. Wotdya reckon?" I agreed. I always agree. I'm an idiot.

Heather's idea of how big an inch is, when she is cutting my hair, is the complete opposite of what my ex husband thought an inch was, when describing his cock. She cut off her idea of an inch and a half.

Hmmmm.

So I'm feeling a little chilly round the neck right now. Nothing a glass of red wine won't fix. Or a wig. Look on the bright side, I can always go to a fancy dress Christmas Party as an urchin.
Current Mood: Scalped
Current Music: "Killing Me Softly" Roberta Flack

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November 23rd, 2004


08:26 pm - Ten Top Tips For Choosing Christmas Gifts
It's THAT time of the year again, the dreaded holiday season, when we have to trawl the shops looking for things to buy for people. Ugh. Isn't it enough that we are freezing our tits off and having darkness descend by 4pm? I guess not. But fear not simple LJers, for I am once again sharing my wisdom in Top Tips form. Without further ado, I give to you...
[info]scarletdemon's Ten Top Tips For Choosing Christmas Gifts.

1) Know your wrapping ability. It's really important not to lumber yourself with things that are a bastard to wrap. Teapots, golf clubs, cuddly toys and fishing rods are all out. Unless they come in boxes and are already carefully packed. You don't want to be wrestling with bubble-wrap and trying to fold corners around oddly-shaped objects d'art for hours on end, do you? So choose gifts with the wrapping in mind. If you are a man, I'd recommend at this point that you buy everyone books.

2) Buy good wrapping paper. OK, not strictly a gift idea but face it, even a Rolex watch will look like shit if it's wrapped in thin paper that has faded, out of focus, Santas all dodgily printed on it.

3) Don't try to be clever. Trying to be creative and come up with "original" gifts is time-consuming, tedious and doomed to failure. Most people are pretty open about what they like, so just give them that. OK everybody else might do the same but who cares? It's the thought that counts. I like cock pictures! There ya go! What is the point in buying me a Fondue Set?

4) Don't listen to age guidelines. Breaking all the rules is the rule here. What 46 year old woman wouldn't like a Barbie doll to play with (or torture)? What 9 year old boy doesn't want to kill hos and shoot policemen on his very own Grand Theft Auto San Andreas? I rest my case.

5) Quality not quantity. One decent present is going to please the recipient more that six cheap tatty ones. And one present is quicker and easier to buy. A heap of cheap things isn't fooling anyone into thinking you spent more. Somebody tell my Sister-In-Law.

6) Don't give bizarre "Gift Sets" to men. Those stupid see-through boxes that contain "a mug, a handkerchief and a golf tee" or "shaving soap, socks and a set of cuff links" are positively insulting. Buy him a years subscription to a porn magazine or a decent set of tools.

7) Don't give a woman chocolates. Christmas is fattening enough, she'll hate you. Of course, if she's making your life hard in any way, this rule can be ignored...We want that bitch to be as fat and spotty as possible.

8) Never buy anyone clothing with a Christmas logo on it. Santa, Rudolph, a fairy, a snowflake, ANYTHING of that ilk. Show some bloody class...And do you really want your gift to be obsolete for 50 weeks of the year? No.

9) If you MUST give clothing, look at what your intended victim usually wears. No Mum, you haven't seen me in that pink angora sweater yet. I WEAR BLACK AND I AM NOT GIRLY! You've had 46 years to work that out.

10) All people between the ages of 12 and 25 want the same thing. Money.

I hope you find these tips useful. Perhaps you disagree (WTF?) or have some of your own? Do share with us.

.
Current Mood: Helpful
Current Music: "Blackest Eyes" Porcupine Tree

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November 21st, 2004


01:12 am - Spontaneous Idea
I just typed the first ten things that came into my head. Here they are. I have not censored them and I didn't "choose" them at all, I was as true to the idea as I could be.

String
Wales
Forget-Me-Nots
Arse
Kansas
Freedom
Ankles
Helter Skelter
Cabbage
Money

What does it mean? I have no idea. What does it prove? Nothing. I just did it and I didn't cheat. Which is practically impossible for someone as self-controlled as me.
Current Mood: None
Current Music: "Mad World" by Gary Jules

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November 18th, 2004


09:06 pm - The Reports Of My Death Have Been Greatly Exaggerated
BOO! That made you jump didn't it?

Oh lord, you must be beginning to think that I've left LJ or something but I haven't. Life just sort of caught up with me and I realized that I had to steal back some time for myself and get things DONE. So I've posted off some forms that I've had since August, shopped for winter clothes (I hate buying clothes) and tidied my festering house. It's been very good for me, if a little hard. And BORING.

But I've also had some FUN since I last posted, mostly on Tuesday, with [info]nuala. Wow, she is a lot of fun and for someone who doesn't normally enjoy the company of other women, I must say I had the best time with her. And I had the cruel enjoyment of taking her to Moshi Moshi, for sushi. HAHAHAHA! I take visitors there all the time, even though sushi is fucking vile. I like the conveyor belt and the music and the slightly distracted and confused looking staff. Sushi looks OK but it tastes like congealed sperm and the little elaborate packages of fishy rice goodness are impossible to eat with chopsticks. They're too big to put in your mouth, too tightly wrapped in seaweed to bite into and well, without a knife and fork you're buggered, quite frankly. I love that. I love that if you take someone there, you know that you're both going to pull faces and lose your dignity and get the giggles until you almost spit raw fish across the room, it's brilliant. And grabbing plates of the conveyor belt is fun, even if you only squeeze the food a bit and then put them back. Hahahaha.

So [info]nuala and I ate our "meal" and then went to hide in the corner of a smoky little pub, to drink hard liquor and talk about sex and life and the smoke hung blue in the air as she shared her wisdom with me and made me a little jealous that I hadn't been more like her when I was younger. Then we went shopping. We bought useless things in hopelessly weird little shops. It was great.

And now I'm back. Back looking at LJ, hoping I haven't missed too much and that you haven't missed me too much. It's all good. Oh and I'd better mention that I found out one of my script-writing buddies has an LJ. Hi [info]erkyn, don't tell anyone how sexy I am in RL, or even more people will want a piece of me. ;)
Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: "Faith" Limp Bizkit.

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November 13th, 2004


11:40 pm - Meme Goodness
Take 15 people randomly from your friends list and write something about them, good or bad. Don't tell who the statements are about no matter how much they beg!

OK, I'm always complaining about Memes...But this one has REAL potential and I've ignored it for too long. Who do you think you are? Some statements MIGHT apply to more than one of you!

1) You hate your parents and you are behind on your college work. Your Mum comes into your room unannounced and that's like totally OMG SO rude! Nobody understands you and you think you are ugly, even though you just look normal. You are a virgin.

2) You have a HUGE, throbbing, heavily veined penis and I've seen it, if only in photo form.

3) You have a goatee beard, you wear glasses, you are a man and you like attention from women. Well, women online anyway. If a REAL woman put the moves on you you'd run like the wind, back to your long suffering wife.

4) You have a hobby that is only of interest to you (and a few geeks) but you post about it anyway, in the hope of impressing somebody new. Sometimes you post pictures of yourself standing next to other geeks, looking smug and pointing at the geeky things that your hobby consists of... Nobody comments.

5) You are a very beautiful woman and you post pictures of yourself incessantly. You bitch.

6) You like Memes and Quizzes and you think we want to see what results you got. Sometimes you try to be clever and write something original but, in complete contrast to most people, your Memes and Quizzes are actually more interesting than your thoughts.

7) You think you are funny. You're not.

8) I think you are funny. You are.

9) You post pictures of your cat and you are currently hovering on the brink of being unfriended by me. You like rainbows, flowers, kittens, glitter and Barbie. You are under 15, OR you are a woman who stopped developing emotionally at 15. Or you are a gay man, I can't tell.

10) Your posts are full of heavy sexual innuendo and flirting. You touch yourself as you press "Update Journal". You're probably masturbating right now.

11) You post recipes and helpful cleaning hints. You like to talk about your children and your darling husband. You arrange flowers for a hobby. At night though, you get drunk and trawl the streets looking for strange men to drag into alleys and have sex with.

12) You are highly political. You post links to political sites and you like to examine things thoroughly. You think your Journal can change the World if only people would LISTEN to you. You have terrible headaches. You keep getting a pain down your left arm.

13) You're ill, nobody else could really know just how ill you feel because nobody else gets ill like you do. And you're depressed, I mean REALLY depressed. Nobody has ever been as depressed as you, because your life sucks worse than anybody else's. And you're tired, your job is hard and nobody understands that except you. And you need a girlfriend or wife but you can't find one...WHY?

14) You post every thought that comes into your head, as it arrives. Sometimes you link to thoughts that have come into other people's heads, for good measure. If you don't post for more than two hours, you post an apology for not posting. My Friends page wouldn't be the same without you...It would be shorter.

15) You are an evil, sarcastic, bitter, middle-aged bitch. You make up catty posts whilst your husband plays on the PS2. You went to visit your oldest son today and the most gorgeous young guy you've ever seen in your life asked you to spank him. You spanked him. You loved it. When you told your husband about it and told him you'd loved it, he said "Indeed". You think LJ is real.

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12:10 am - Arse Update
Hey you all! I was pottering around, reading my Friends list and scanning the internet news sites (to see if Yasser Arafat was making another unexpected comeback) when I suddenly realized that I hadn't told you I was better!

I'm better!

My bum isn't sore, my food is digesting at more sedate speed and my toilet no longer flinches when it sees me coming. It's all good. I'm sure your advice / wishes helped me to survive the deadly poo horror in a much better frame of mind than I would normally have adopted. It was very kind of you to take such an interest, it almost made it worth me throwing away my dignity like that. Oh, and my new "It's a bit tight but I'll buy it anyway" winter skirt now fits perfectly. Yay for the diahooorreeeah diet!

Wow, I've seen that "You ask me a question and I'll reveal something because you don't know me so anyway put it in your journal because that way I can ask you something that you didn't want to tell me in the first place or else you would have posted it" Meme EVERYWHERE.

WTF? As far as I'm concerned...

Anything I want you to know about me I'll post here. Anything else is none of your damn business. Don't ask me a question, or I'll punch you. Hard.
Current Mood: better
Current Music: "Alive" Pearl Jam.

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November 10th, 2004


04:34 pm - Ugh
I know what you're thinking.
"I've just added her (or I added her ages ago), why isn't she replying to her comments? Why isn't she being FUNNY? I want my money back!"
Well fuck. Give me a chance to explain.

I'm ill. And not just any old ill...I have diarrhoea. Serious diarrhoea.

It seems so unfair. If I was standing on a mountain in Nepal, or fighting my way through the Amazon Rainforest, I'd EXPECT to have diarrhoea...It's part of the price you pay for a great adventure. It's an essential part of the great STORIES you get to tell when you return home, plus you get to try all the amazing local cures. It's positively a GOOD thing to get in those circumstances, if you think about it. I'd accept it more gracefully if I'd had some fun before getting it. And if I was wiping my sore bum somewhere exotic.

And if I half cooked my chicken dinners and licked my fingers whilst I cut up the raw meat, I'd expect to get diarrhoea, I'd DESERVE it. It would be fair punishment for being a stupid, dirty bitch. I'd have a good reason to suffer and I wouldn't be whining here about it. I'd be hanging my head in shame. But I cook really carefully. I don't take chances like that, never have.

So basically....Waaaaaah! Noooooo! My bum HURTS!! Stop with the runny poo already! I don't want to get into the fucking Guiness Book Of Diarrhoea!! It isn't FAIR!!! How many fucking times can I GO anyway?? Jesus. WHY ME?!?! I hate this! Same shit, different 5 mins for the last 36 HOURS!!! My arse is having a MELTDOWN! She canna take any more Captain! Feel sorry for me. I have the runs. And there is NO good reason.


And if that depressed you, look at this (ganked from the gorgeously sexy [info]deathboy)...Even *I* smiled at this today. Not work safe, a guy sticking his cock into a toaster. I think I'm in love.
Current Mood: Awful
Current Music: "Ring Of Fire" Johnny Cash

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November 8th, 2004


08:11 pm - Foul Mouthed
I've pretty much always sworn. I went to some rough schools, with some rough kids and despite the best efforts of my Father to leave his dockyard language at the dockyard, there was always a degree of bad language in our house. Not REALLY bad language like "fuck" but certainly a lot of "shit" and "bloody" and "bleedin'". And lots and lots of blasphemy, courtesy of my Mother, the ex-Methodist Sunday School teacher. As kids we weren't allowed to swear at home but on the bus we damn near gave old ladies heart-attacks and we loved it.

Now I'm all grown up but the swearing hasn't gone away...It has got worse. The only word that I keep for special is c*nt. I hate that and use it wisely. Other than that, the flow of my conversation is spiced up with a heady mix of expletives. Not in front of the children (well not YOURS anyway, mine know WHEN to use it) and not if I know that it will offend you. But in adult conversations it seems to make rants stronger and jokes funnier. I know for a fact too that (carefully timed) swear words can make an audience laugh more than any "clever" joke in a comedy club.

The reason that I'm mentioning this is that due to IMing I can SEE my swearing and I've been made aware that people swear more in IM conversations with me than they do with other women. I was told that and it made me feel odd...Was I cooler than other women, more relaxed, or was I just less due respect? Should I really drag everyone down to my level, or was I just letting people talk naturally?

What do you think of swearing? Is it colourful and expressive, or is it boring and ignorant? And does a woman swearing sound worse than a man? What about an older woman, does that sound worse that a young woman?

I'm fucked if I know.
Current Mood: curious
Current Music: "Pool Shark" Sublime

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November 7th, 2004


11:32 pm - You've All Seen It
The latest Meme I mean...

Meme guidelines and reasoning:

1. Stop talking about politics for a moment or two.

2. Post a reasonably-sized picture in your LJ, NOT under a cut tag, of something pleasant, such as an adorable kitten, or a fluffy white cloud, or a bottle of booze. Something that has NOTHING TO DO WITH POLITICS.

3. Include these instructions, and share the love.


Um...NO! I won't.

1. Have you no SHAME? This is exactly the time that politics should be discussed. My god, ASKING people to forget or ignore what is happening is condoning precisely the sort of "dumbing down" that the assholes who run our countries want. I've been tremendously informed about the American election and the War by people on LJ. I want them to continue telling me what they feel is the truth. BOTH sides of it. OK, I know it says "for a moment or two" but it implies that there is something wrong or boring about politics. I strongly disagree.

2. Kittens are not "adorable" they're little CATS and cat pictures are the bane of my LJ life. They hate you, they only want food and a warm place to sit licking their arses...Stop posting cat pictures, unless you have some real news to share about them. BTW, I have my own bottles of booze and England isn't short of clouds...Really, if you MUST post pics, post cock pictures BEHIND A CUT. Who the fuck tells people not to use LJ cut tags for pictures? I'm on broadband, I don't get too affected but if I wasn't I'd be pissed off right now with all the "adorable" pics on my Friends page.

3. No. And it isn't love...It's just a daft idea.



.
Current Mood: Grouchy
Current Music: "Big Mouth Strikes Again" The Smiths

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November 6th, 2004


04:22 pm - Hanging On The Telephone
Anyone who knows me will know that I HATE the phone ringing, as it normally means I'm going to hear something bad...Or that I'm going to have a marathon "listening" session, whilst my Mother lists one trivial incident after another (plus every meal that she has eaten for the past week). However, sometimes the phone can be a source of amusement, even to me.

My son Brandon (aged 9 and screamingly gay, for those new readers who haven't "met" him yet) was talking to an 11 year old friend this week...

"You can't come round and play, I have a virus..........No, not in my computer, *I* have a virus........Yes of course people can get viruses too!".

Hahahaha! I guess that's a sign of the times.


My Mother, to me, on the fact that she and my Dad are trying to get a new control knob for the front of their gas cooker (stove, whatever you like to call it).

"So your Father thought it might be cheaper if he ordered it on the internet but he typed "knob" into Google and got a load of PORN sites! He didn't look at any, in case he ends up in prison!"

Who types "knob" into Google? Hahahaha! I told her that if looking at (adult) porn on the internet was something you could get sent to prison for, I'd be serving life.


EDIT: Hey, *I* just typed "knob" and "knobs" into Google and I didn't find any porn! WTF was my Dad UP to? D'you think he used that as an excuse?

.
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: "Deadly Sinner" Three Inches Of Blood

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November 5th, 2004


06:27 pm - Happy Birthday To Me!
Yes, yes, yes! Give it to me baby! Oh. My. God. I thought yesterday,
"Wouldn't it be a bit cheeky and funny if I tried to get nine more people on my list?...Then I'd hit my anniversary with 400 Friends! Hell I might even be lucky enough to get a couple more, in case anyone deletes me."

Little did I know.

You people totally ROCK!! You pimped me you added me...It was sweet, and then it was hilarious, and then it was stupifying, and then it was fucking TERRIFYING!

As of this moment I have 500 Friends listed. FIVE HUNDRED! I had 391 when I made my last post, just a little over 24 hours ago...So that means that I have 109 Friends more than I had yesterday. I'm flattered, I'm grateful and I'm incredibly amused. I hope you are all amused too, because I have some SERIOUS reading to do now don't I? Hahaha! I hope you'll understand if I don't comment on every single thing I read.

I said I'd add people back and I have... But at the magic number of 500 LJ spazzes out and the "Mutual Friends" "Also Friend Of" feature starts to blow up. And my Friends list turns into one of those annoying (and non-alphabetical) user picture galleries. It sucks. Therefore I would ask anyone over and above the 500 I now have to be patient with me and if someone deletes me, I'll add you back in their place. And I WILL read people who add me, when I can, even if they aren't immediately added back.

I'm panicking, can anyone tell I'm panicking? Hahaha!

This is an incredibly generous and wonderful LJ Birthday present. Special thanks to [info]wardytron who brought a phenomenal amount of people to my door...But EVERYONE who pimped me ROCKS my World, quite frankly.

Hello to everyone new, much love to everyone "old" and Happy Birthday to me! I seriously hope I can continue to make posts that you all enjoy.

I repeat YOU ALL ROCK!


.
Current Mood: excited
Current Music: "Read About Love" Richard Thompson

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November 4th, 2004


05:00 pm - Fair Warning
Tomorrow is a very special day, on my Journal...It's my LJ birthday! Yes indeed, it will be exactly one year since I posted my first LJ entry. Little did I know how sucked in I was going to get, or what a grasping, needy, comment/attention whore I'd turn into. I could give this up at ANY time, I could, honestly, it's just that I don't want to. *Twitch*

So I know what you're all asking..."What can we get her? How can we celebrate this great day in the history of LJ?"

Well, you know what? I was going to say give some money to a charity for sick giraffes or needy kiddies...But then I thought

"No. What I really want is MORE FRIENDS!!!"

You see I have about 391 people who have friended me... IMAGINE IF I WOKE UP TOMORROW AND HAD 400! On my LJ birthday? Wouldn't that be sweet? In fact MORE than 400 so that the stupid suckers who might unfriend me can't spoil it. All you need to do is badger your friends and family to add me (I'll add them back). Hell, get them to START LJs JUST FOR THAT REASON! You know it makes sense.

That's what I want.

Go on then, you know it makes sense.



.
Current Mood: hopeful
Current Music: "Common People" William Shatner

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November 3rd, 2004


07:16 pm - Dear America
Go and stand in the corner, go on. Stay facing the wall and have a good long think about what you have done.

I'm fed up with aplogising to my friends about you. I'm bored with making excuses.

Come out when you can be sensible.
Current Mood: disappointed
Current Music: "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now" The Smiths.

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October 31st, 2004


05:54 pm - Phone Post: Happy Halloween
PhonePost
367K 1:43
(Help)
“Don't you just love it, the way that LJ tricks you into thinking the phone thingy won't work and then suddenly makes you talk? This isn't a transcript, it's an excuse for me waffling on. ;)”

Transcribed by: [info]scarletdemon

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October 29th, 2004


06:50 pm - In Which Scarlet Looks At Porn Aimed At Hetrosexual Men
As you might have guessed, I'm reasonably broad-minded about porn. As long as the subjects are adult, human and not being coerced, I don't have a problem with it. In fact, you boys will be relieved to know that I'm giving you permission, here and now, to look at as much porn as you like. But I have a request...Please can you campaign to change the names of the pictures?
See, you're all very quick to tell us ladies that you like to see "real" looking women in porn, that you like natural boobs, that you find bigger girls sexy, that you're turned on by older women etc (aren't you NICE?) but then you go and use websites that label their pictures in, well frankly, rather disrespectful ways. I mean, these ways aren't just insulting to the women involved, they say something about YOU too...I would especially question the decision to click on links that say things like the examples I've listed below...

NOT pictures but do not click if you are young or easily offended )

Perhaps I'm being a little too girlie about this but if women are going to be generous enough to share their most glorious assets with you and to display them on various items of furniture (mostly sofas) for your delight...I really think it would be nicer if we didn't call them horrid things. What do you think?

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12:00 am - Thanks!
Hi everyone who replied to my last post (now Friends Only) and thanks for the kind words. I've sobered up a bit and cheered up a bit since then. Your replies helped me lots, so kisses to all of you.

I did a gig last night and it rocked! Yay! I also submitted a short sketch to the Treason Show yesterday (I've hardly written anything for them lately, although I contribute a lot of ideas at the meetings)...So that was good. I'm feeling pretty cheerful right now.

Oh and I had my hair done today, so that's looking cool. No, no pictures. It's kinda red with blonde highlights. I'm pleased with it (a rare occurrence with new hairstyles) but I laughed out loud when one of the other hairdressers in the salon walked past and said,

"OOohhh! I LOVE the way that colour has come out, it looks really NATURAL!".

Hahahaha! I love that supportive thing they do with each-other's work. YES, it looks very striking but "natural"? Nah. Hahahaha! If only Mother Nature was that good at colouring hair...She could have had the £5 tip.

Well, it's my bed-time now but I'm going to formulate a proper post in my sleep, honest. Probably.
Current Mood: grateful
Current Music: "Fish Fuck" GWAR

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October 26th, 2004


04:27 pm - One Of My Favourite Icons Is Dead
DJ John Peel is dead.

If you are British you'll probably be crying with me. If you're American...This guy was the single greatest thing to happen to music broadcasting in the UK and a wonderful, clever, funny, wise person. There is no one who can replace him.

I'm devastated.
Current Mood: sad
Current Music: Teenage Kicks The Undertones

 

October 24th, 2004


05:49 pm - Ten People Out Of The Many I'd Like to Beat Up
Completely random, petty and ill expressed, this is a list of some of the people I'd like to beat up. Not supposed to be big or clever, just me venting and having fun. Note that I haven't bothered with obvious people, like Hitler or Celine Dion because...Well, they're obvious.

1) The bloke who invented photography. Man, I look like shit in photos. I expect he's dead now...But I'd do it if he wasn't.
2) Tony Blair. Mostly because I helped to elect him and then he fell in love with George Bush. I wasn't banking on that and I feel let down. Hence, he gets a kicking.
3) Jackie Chan. Don't get me wrong, I like him...But how cool would I look, if I proved I could beat him up? Very.
4) Dr. Atkins. I didn't buy into his diet...So I'll never forget the way I felt on the day that I took my kid to school, after a long holiday, and realized I was the only fat Mum left in the playground! Of course, the others are all getting fat again now, so I win.
5) Anthony Minghella. For directing "Truly Madly Deeply" an overrated and nauseating film, that I detest. I'd like to actually kill him but he also directed "The Talented Mr. Ripley", starring Jude Law, so I won't.
6) Woody Allen. For making me laugh and making me admire him...And then being a total sex pervy creep, with his adopted daughter.
7) The Queen. For giving birth to Prince Charles and bullying (if not killing) Princess Diana. As head of the Royal Family she deserves to have her ass handed to her on a bone china plate and I'm just the girl to do it.
8) James Joyce. For writing "Portrait Of The Artist As A Young Man", which was a set book when I studied "A" Level English Literature. I think it was being forced to study that book that made me throw away my academic career.
9) Bill Oddie Because he was the funniest one in the TV series "The Goodies" and made me think he was great...Then he suddenly woke up one day as a pompous ass and a bird watcher. WTF? Now he spams up my TV set with programmes where he has a permanent set of binoculars grafted to his neck and he doesn't make me laugh at all. Stupid little man.
10) Noah. Dude! How could you leave behind the Unicorns?

Wow, there are not as many women as I expected on my list. Either I don't really notice them or I want them actually dead, I suppose.

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