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shadows
"... the blue-eyed Jewish-Irish Mohican scout who died in
your arms at the roulette table at Monte Carlo."*

[ website | febrile.net ]
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[26 Nov 2004|01:00am] - clocks
This has been the best Thanksgiving I can remember. Some of the other times -- going to upstate New York to have dinner with my cousins on their hundred acres of forest (complete with horses, dogs, cats, guinea hens, peacocks and chickens) is always great -- but this time around it has been uneventfully wonderful. We didn't do a thing except lounge around and watch silly movies all day (Ice Age, Castle of Cagliostro and My Neighbor Totoro). We didn't even have turkey (though mom traded a home-made pecan pie for a fried -- yes, fried -- turkey with the handy man who's been working on the house to get everything fixed up from the last owners).

We might stay in tomorrow too; just read and enjoy being around each other. Maybe we'll have some turkey sandwiches, although my favorite pasta dish is planned for dinner and I'm almost drooling already.

I keep hearing the cuckoo and grandfather clocks that have been in my house since I was born. I never realized how much I miss hearing them. I wish my parents had moved somewhere closer.

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[24 Nov 2004|05:31am] - ewww
5am sure does roll around faster than you want it to!

I might be online some over the next few days, but I'm not sure at this point. So if I don't see you wonderful people in the mean time: Have a great turkey day!

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[23 Nov 2004|08:32pm] - wow
From about 2pm onward, today has been pretty awesome. I got an A on my International Relations test, drove [info]violetdelight to her car and had fun blathering about stuff, got back to the apartment, kicked a satisfying amount of ass in some video games and then got a phone call...

Our landlady is giving us first dibs on the bigger apartment downstairs for $50 more a month than we're paying now ($100/mo. less than the price than she said she'd charge for it when we moved in -- because she likes us so much). This could be really good. Hooray for [info]gyro75 having his own bedroom (instead of the living room) and both of us having our own closets. One of the people who lives there now is going to show us around at 9pm, so we can get the ball rolling to move in there if we want for January 1st.

Exciting! Unexpected!

And, tomorrow, I get to see my parents for the first time in 5 months. In summary: Woohoo! :-D

P.S. The Garden State soundtrack is sublime.

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[20 Nov 2004|12:50am] - thinking about thinking
I finally bought risers for my bed. I have so much more storage space than I did before -- no more piles of stuff behind my recliner -- it's awesome. I still need to do more decorating since the walls are pretty bare but my room sure feels a lot better than it used to.

[info]ashiant and [info]violetdelight came over tonight (lots of fun with them lately :) with Return to Oz and the four of us ([info]gyro75, too) watched the 1985 sequel. Wow. It sure was a different movie back when I was 4-5 -- and a lot more magical when I didn't care (or didn't notice) that the story was weak or how hokey some of the special effects were. Tik-Tok still rules, though. I think Neverending Story will have aged better, but we'll see -- maybe tomorrow morning if I wake up early enough.

Actually, I really need to crank down on school work this weekend. Having to do a bunch of homework while I'm in North Carolina would suck, big time. [info]ashiant is (hopefully!) going to drive me to JFK on Wednesday so I can wing my way down South to visit my parents for the first time at their new place. I haven't seen them since mid-June and miss them an awful lot.

I'm really tired all of a sudden, though, so I think I'll read a bit and then crash. ... Or maybe toss the book across the room as I have one of those "omg I'm falling asleep!" spasms. ;)

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[17 Nov 2004|06:46pm] - subtitled: Tso's overstuffed revenge
[info]violetdelight showed up to work early, Kelly visited and Monica was working, [info]ashiant party-pooped. We all agreed that Chinese food would definitely rock, so we ordered way too much and had us some fun. The Chinese place must have though we were ordering for extra people, since we got a whole mess of fortune cookies.

Fortunes for the evening ... in bed. )

Anyway, a measly fifteen minutes to go until I can leave the dungeon and ... I don't know -- but 8 hours in the basement is enough for me. Maybe I'll read some more of A Clash of Kings instead of doing homework? I'm thinking I'll put on my headphones with the I ♥ Huckabees soundtrack, curl up (or sprawl out, we'll see) with my fuzzy blanket and book... Hmmmm... Maybe I should just leave work now?

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[17 Nov 2004|01:28am] - should I bring my own chains?
So, I ♥ Huckabees was really good. I was smiling from the moment the movie really started rolling and didn't much stop until ... well, I haven't quite stopped yet.

Today was kinda sucky, but thinking about it, tonight was just great. Good pizza with [info]ashiant and [info]violetdelight, an hour just wandering in the Yale bookstore (stealing ISBN numbers of cool books that can be had for less elsewhere, but mostly just sucking down that wonderful bookstore ambiance), a visit to a little Italian, café kinda place where I felt kinda under-dressed in my t-shirt and jeans while eating mandarin sorbet (which, upon noting in conversation, dad said, "Eh, I like kumquats better" -- so I am now on a minor mission to find kumquats just because their name is so amazingly cool). Despite feeling a smidge uncomfortable it was still good stuff. Then there was the movie: I haven't had quite so much fun with a film in a long time. Are we (and everything) all connected -- every coincidence, every little thing -- or is it all disconnected and empty? Does it matter? Of course there are no real answers, but that doesn't mean you can't have a lot of laughs and smiles trying to figure it all out.

Sounds dumb, but smiling feels really good.

"Should I bring my own chains?"
"We always do."

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[09 Nov 2004|12:24pm] - miss my 'rents
Halloween costumes... )

I am so awesome at procrastinating. Othello paper, why must you taunt me so?

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[03 Nov 2004|10:27pm] - weird vibes
Today has a weird, negative feel to it. I'm sure I am more sensitive to it than I might normally be, but I just can't shake the melancholy.

Oh, right, four more years.

I signed up for Spring classes today. Next semester is going to be a bitch -- I'll have to figure out some way to be organized -- but I should get that stupid piece of paper that'll let me get on to more learning and less bullshit at the end of the summer, after Spanish.

I'm taking 4 English classes and one Sociology class, but I'll be sitting in on at least one, probably two other English classes. I know I can do it, I know I can do a balls-to-the-wall semester, but I'd hoped my last one as an undergrad would be more laid-back.

Now all I have to do is get into grad school...

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[31 Oct 2004|11:46pm] - determined
Guess who fell asleep with his contacts in while trying to work on a paper? Yeah, I look like I've been smoking for days, it's really pretty amusing. Well, apart from the stinging; that's not quite so fun.

My professor sent me an e-mail about the short story draft I handed in last week. He seems pretty excited about it, which rocks, but he wants me to keep working on it now. I'm not sure I can put myself back in the place I was a week ago to keep working on it right now. We'll see what happens in workshop tomorrow night. Besides, I need to concentrate on getting this bastard of a paper done for Tuesday.

Thank you, Benjamin Franklin, for Daylight Saving Time. Getting up for work tomorrow is going to feel just a little bit more like sleeping in than normal.

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[31 Oct 2004|03:02am] - screw you, clock
I am tired of being preoccupied. I am tired of the grief that sneaks up on me so often no matter how much I try to occupy myself with other things.

Tired, but not sleepy.

I have a ton of work to do tom... today. Still managing to procrastinate, though, of course. People don't believe me when I say that I am the king of procrastinators. I am even procrastinating with trying to sleep, even though I could probably conk out pretty shortly. Someone yell at me if I'm around and not working on homework tomorrow, please.

As much as I dislike my car at this point, it's so much more fun to drive than the rental ('04 dodge neon) that I almost like it more than I did before it was stolen. Besides having my radio back, I can appreciate it a bit differently than I used to. Who'd a' thunk.

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[30 Oct 2004|01:48am] - hearing
... is what I'm probably going to be damaging in the next few days now that I have my beloved car stereo back -- new and improved.

The police pulled a set of prints from the car when it was recovered. Giving an official, taped statement is enough to give anyone the willies (even the detective, he said so). It was good to meet someone who both took his job seriously and kept his sense of humor. I was in a great mood when I left the police station, but when I finally got to my car that mostly went out the window. There's still a bunch of work that needs to be done -- the guy at the body shop and I miscommunicated about what I wanted done -- so I ended up really let down by some things that should have been fixed.

I did have a great time with [info]violetdelight and [info]ashiant at dinner and just driving around enjoying the wonderfulness that is my personal, mobile listening booth. I'm pretty sure I should charge [info]violetdelight to ride in the back seat, though, she likes it too much.

... Yeah, other things happened between then and now, but those are probably best relegated to my private journal. Emotional turmoil is fun... honest?

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[29 Oct 2004|10:25pm] - wtf

BRING AUNTIE BACK.

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[25 Oct 2004|12:48am] - escapism
Life, or perhaps hope, decided to come clean last week; I found out my big gamble did not result in anything but a big loss, a painful "learning experience." Sure, I'll grow from it, but it's too soon to feel anything other than grief over the loss and fear of being alone so soon after finding one of those clichéd candles in the dark.

Sometimes a good bout of running away is the best thing to do. I'm not exactly sure when that is, but this weekend I seem to have done it anyway. Hopefully it'll aid and not hinder my rejoining the ranks of the mentally sound.

I'm almost done with the 800 page A Game of Thrones (which I started ... Friday night?). I troubleshot and (hopefully) fixed some networking and computer issues in the apartment. I browsed slashdot and google news. Talked with [info]presenze on IRC for a bit and set up the new, improved febrile.net (which still looks exactly the same but now has some different nifty gadgets behind it). All this and no homework. I have a paper to write on Othello -- which I haven't read yet -- due Tuesday. Another paper for my International Relations class was due last Thursday. I should probably have that done by Tuesday as well. The real kicker is the short story draft I have due tomorrow night. I wanted to submit something new, but I have nothing and can't seem to even get a sentence down. Definitely sucking at school right now.

I have needed time to do things that did not involve an opportunity to mull over things (which I inevitably do while trying to get homework accomplished, also known as staring off into space). Hopefully tomorrow I will be able to begin catching up on what I should have done this weekend.

Here's to all you people out there who can get their school work done on time. I toast you with my fantasy novel, which I plan on finishing before sleep overcomes me.

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[21 Oct 2004|12:54pm] - best word: content
Again, I'm procrastinating -- damn you busy work. I know I need to do this stuff, but why must it be such a bastard to get rolling with? Gee, maybe because -- get this -- it's busy work? Crazy.

I need to catch up on some sleep, but everything that's been keeping me up lately has been, for lack of better words, amazingly wonderful. (Bites at times, but no real complaints here.) Tonight I'm going to force myself to get to bed at some kind of reasonable hour so I can actually be awake tomorrow -- even though I don't have anything to do in the morning... or all day. I'll probably remember a dozen errands I should have done about 9pm tomorrow, though.

Side note: Maybe the steal-mobile, aka. Honda Civic, will be returning to my possession this coming week. Monday/Tuesday? I can't say I'm all that excited about getting it back, but I am definitely looking forward to being introduced to my old radio's big brother, the Panasonic CQ-C8300U. I have high hopes for MP3 CDs (as anyone who's ridden in my car knows, I suck at swapping out CDs to keep things fresh). It was kind of amusing when the guy from the body shop called me, mostly to confirm my releasing the car to the detailing shop that has done the radio installation in the past, but also to chide me for putting another expensive stereo system in my easily-broken into and stolen car. I explained, "I know, Bruce, I know -- but honestly it's the only thing I like about the car anymore. I don't want to hate driving."

Here's some more procrastination:
Interests meme: Apparently I'm not only a Delaney's whore, I'm also a livejournal interest whore... )

Ah well... back to this paper crap.

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[18 Oct 2004|02:31pm] - procrastination 101
Random Question Quiz Whatsit )

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[13 Oct 2004|06:11pm] - A message from our sponsors:
poop.

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[20 Sep 2004|11:33am] - we have the technology
... or at least internet access at the apartment.

Sweet.

[Edit:] Not quite sure how I forgot, but for those who don't know -- my car was stolen (again) Friday morning sometime. This makes things very, very interesting for the coming semester.

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[09 Sep 2004|07:56pm] - time wasting at work
I couldn't resist... )

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[27 Aug 2004|09:53am] - tomorrow
The process of moving to the new apartment begins tomorrow morning at 9:30am, when I will be getting my first set of keys that are truly 'mine.' 

So there was some drama in my personal life this past week, but when the shit hit the fan I was at a friend's house and I found myself laughing just like usual I realized it just wasn't that bad.  I still think about her and wonder (just a little, [info]starchyld ;) about what I could find in my aging copy of the DSM that would apply, but I simply can't find myself caring too much.

Case and point comes last night, when I found myself wired-but-exhausted and literally climbing the walls (picture to come), but having a fantastic time.  I can't remember having that much fun in a long, long time.

Stolen from [info]starchyld, who stole it from someone else, who stole it from... yeah:
Post a (real) memory of me.
It can be anything you want.
Then post this to your journal.
See what people remember of you.

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[15 Aug 2004|07:00pm] - rubbing my eyes
I just woke up from a nap with very confused and frantic dreams about encoded GPS Points and hidden puzzles.

Having a couple beers with lunch seems to be an instant recipe for a late afternoon nap, but I had a really awesome time hanging out with [info]morganastar. Someone get me a URL to one of those teleportation thingies so I can hang out more often with cool people who live a bajillion miles away, kthx?

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* Except I'm not blue-eyed, not really Jewish,
definitely not Irish, definitely not dead (yet),
and I've never played roulette...
or been to Monte Carlo.