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Sunday, October 13th, 2002
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10:42 pm - thanksgiving makes me feel old...
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had the traditional thanksgiving dinner at my doctors. i saw people i haven't seen in like 5 years? kids that were below my chin i didn't even recognize (they're giants i tell you)... little brothers and sisters all grown up and driving (geez, last time i remember them, they were playing w/ barbies and toy cars)... i felt so old.
i was the oldest "kid" there but i think they must have though me v. immature. all night i couldn't stop laughing. i'd look at someone and laugh, i'd laugh in mid-sentence. it was the most bizarre thing... i think its because i've spent the last 2 days doing homework, with little/no human contact. suddenly u put me in a room w/ people and i go kind of nuts. it was very surreal :)
dinner was great. had the huge (25 lb) turkey, 6 different cakes, a big platter of mashed potatos, mixed in w/ chinese food like sticky rice.. yum :)
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10:26 pm - 2 months til christmas break.....
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stressed out over exams.. its been such an easy month that i'd almost forgotten how icky school can get. my next 3 weeks are basically midterm filled. ugh.
on a lighter note. even though i'm not gonna get to go to the philippines this x-mas, i WILL be at whistler AND big white!!! ^_^
i've got, not 1, but TWO ski trips planned, hehe :) me and 11 others are actually driving to whistler the day exams end (dec. 13). and i'll be boarding for 2 or 3 days!!!! then gonna go to big white w/ ubc w/ the girls the weekend before school starts, and i'll probably be hitting the local mountains in between. yeah. i'm so excited, i even dug out my board already. today i was standing on it in front of the mirror :)
boarding is my motivation to work out the winter half of the year. i've been at the gym 4 or 5 days a week? i'm trying to build stamina and strength cuz i plan to improve loads this season. i also want killer arms by next summer :)
i think people are prob sick of hearing me talk about christmas, so now i'm on livejournal writing about it :) yay, christmas is almost here :)
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| Thursday, October 3rd, 2002
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10:39 pm
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i really believe i'm the type of person that's prone to addiction. i have been an addict of:
- mahjong - orange juice - oatmeal - vive cereal
i'm still trying to work thru some of these (specially the orange juice). pls never let me try anything harder than caffeine...
on a side note. saw the guy i liked thruout elementary school and some of highschool today :). was really surprised to see the guy walking the halls of BCIT (specially since he goes to SFU). this is the one guy that i've liked that i've never really talked to (never had the guts, never knew what to say). my friends were trying to get me to go say hi, but i think years of being quiet around him is a hard thing to shake off. besides, i'm the type that gets so disinterested once there's any sign of interest back at me. don't ask why, probably some deep-rooted psychological mess-up somewhere. this is why i never let myself get into any kind of relationship!!! ah well...
yes, i'm still procrastinating.
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10:07 pm
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wow haven't written in a while.
just came home from having indian food. was a great experience because i actually had indian people w/ me ordering (i.e. it wasn't just asians attempting to order indian food and ending up w/ curry). so i got to try a lot of new things and am now really stuffed. stomach kind of feels weird right now, but it was worth it :)
what have i been up to? since school started, i've been trying to work my way back in shape. basically been in the gym every school day and saturday (v. proud of myself, but i think the motivation is wearing thin). i've lost wt but i think i lost muscle mass, so now i'm just trying to gain the wt back :)
school only started a couple of weeks ago but the work is really piling up already. i'm a lazy bum that's still trying to shake off "summer mode".
why am i writing now after so long? truthfully, i'm really just procrastinating. ok, now i get to figure out the number of base pairs in my plasmid digest. yay.
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| Wednesday, June 5th, 2002
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8:47 pm
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so it took all of 3 hrs before my mom started to make me go crazy. every time she visits i go thru this hope that we'll suddenly click and see eye to eye on things and have a real "mother-daughter relationship", and every visit (within about 2-3 hrs) i realize it's not going to happen.
i hate that i get so frustrated and impatient with her.
whenever i talk to her i know she's not actually listening.
i dislike that she becomes "mother-like" once in a while when i've actually been alive for the past 19 years.
i love her, but i can't have a decent conversation with her. am i evil for saying she hasn't been the greatest mother to us? i dunno, i probably haven't been the greatest daughter either.
wow, i can't believe it's been 5 years since i last lived with my parents??
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| Monday, June 3rd, 2002
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1:28 am
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so my mom is here now.. let the intense eating out chinese begin!
i am so stuffed right now. i think i gained back whatever weight i lost in the past 2 weeks in just 1 day (thnx to triple chocolate cookies). ugh.. i'm thinking of all those crunches that i've just nullified thru food. the bad thing about putting oneself on a no sweets diet is that eventually the control snaps and one goes crazy and eats a box of cookies.
i can't believe i'm still hungry.
i am disappointed i didn't get to go down to seattle :( today was the perfect day for it (beautiful weather & i was awake at 7 am anyway). nix, you'll have to hold on to the earrings i left a little longer -- i'll see u before this summer is up!
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| Saturday, June 1st, 2002
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11:05 am
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sunday is a go. nix, i'll try to call u later on tonite.
went to purple onion last night. didn't eat anything before i went so when i had one drink it went straight to my head.. ha, finally found the secret to cheap-drunkness :)
anyway, planning to go down granville street today. on the lookout for cheap plates i can break and make a nice mosaic with. i'm wearing an old skirt i found in my mom's closet :) i'm torn between it being really ugly or really cool (it's red and peasant-ish)
anyway, going to seattle tomorrow.
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| Friday, May 31st, 2002
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12:06 am
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i love summer :)
this week has been great. been productive w/ non-academic things for the first time in a long time :)
people have been talking to me about relationships a lot this week. i try my best to give good input, but i really can't relate. a lot of people can't get past the fact that i really don't care about having a bf or attracting guys or anything. some think the reason behind this is because i've never been in a relationship, so i don't know what i'm missing.. what i really feel like is my life doesn't need it.
went downtown today and only spent 6 bucks (parking and yummy vegetarian falafel).. way to go self control :)
my mom is coming on saturday, sunday, or monday.. :) my parents are very last minute so i have no clue when she'll be here until late tomorrow. if she comes on monday, i'm going downtown seattle on sunday!!! nikkie, i was gonna pass by your place and pick up my stuff (about 10 or 11 a.m. or in the evening or whenever you are gonna be home). come out w/ us if u're not busy!!!
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| Monday, May 20th, 2002
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10:42 pm
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this past weekend has been filled with self pity..
been sitting on my butt studying for 3 days, attempting to cram info on a million kazillion microorganisms and their lifecycles into my brain... i am going crazy! i've caught me talking to myself on and off since saturday....
5 finals, 4 days.. why must bcit suck?!!!??!!!!
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| Sunday, May 5th, 2002
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1:08 pm - me procrastinating...
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If I lived in Middle-Earth, it would be in: Gondor, The White City You enjoy the entropy and feeling of a city that never sleeps. The need to have fun and mingle with others is a necessity to you, as well as feeling the spirit of the urban life rushing around you. There is nothing in nature that excites you as much as technology, over-population, and the sight of skyscrapers at dizzying heights. |
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12:57 pm
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3:51 am - i think everyone's asleep.....
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my sleeping habits are getting really strange. basically switch bedrooms every hour and go thru 3 different bedrooms a night. then i try to study but i end up falling asleep on my bench.. basically been getting about 3 hrs of sleep <--- wow, this from a self-professed 8-hr/nighter, i didn't know i had it in me.
summer plans are so uncertain right now. 1. might go to the phils and do some volunteer work and work for my parents 2. might stay here and study 3. might stay here and work (if i can find co-op placement.. ha!) i really wish i could do all 3.
umm.. ok.. this has been a really boring post.. sorry, it's too late/early to do any serious thinking. think i will sleep. hope u all are doing well! nite -_-
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| Saturday, March 16th, 2002
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4:15 pm - the sun is mocking me...
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nooooo!!!!! it's sunny...
why on the weekend when it'll be crazy line-ups at all the mountains??? why!?!?! why rain all week and suddenly sun? why?!?!?! why did i buy those ugly pair of pants yesterday?? WHY?!?!?! life is truly a mystery :)
i'm trying to not look up at the sky today, it makes me sad. this is what happens: *looks up* -- blue sky with patches of cloud -- *uncontrollable weeping* :(
this truly sux. i am angry at the weather... i've only insulted vancouver weather once, why is it doing this to me????
*sigh* i'm sorely tempted to go but i refuse to share the mountain with the multitudes of highschool kids on spring break.
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| Friday, March 15th, 2002
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10:18 am
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the weather sucks... was supposed to go boarding but its raining and foggy and basically crappy out :(
to get over my depression, i gave myself a haircut... there has to be some deeper meaning in this.. hmmm, do i need to feel in control of my life (and my hair?), am i "cutting" off feeling of sadness over the weather?? :)
hehe, anyway, my hair's not extremely straight persay.. but i guess if i'm gonna get a crappy haircut (which ALWAYS happens, no matter how much i pay or where i go), it might as well be a crappy haircut from me!
:) it's actually not that bad & flipping will forgive the uneven hair.
last whole weekday of spring break.. gonna hit west 4th and look for boarding pants (i've fallen on my butt so many times the old ones are no longer waterproof in that area).
tonight i tackle a week's worth of homework (go procrastination!)
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| Thursday, March 14th, 2002
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11:42 am
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hehe, i'm on spring break :)
have had a blissful academically unproductive 4 days :)
i can't believe how much school has dominated my life this year..... i've become even more of study freak thank i ever thought possible...
studying is not wearing, what is really tiring is constantly trying to motivate yourself when there seems to be no point and no end in sight. plus, my self-motivation comes from constantly telling myself that i'm not good enough (warped, i know, but it works)... this is a pretty good motivator but it does take a bite out of one's ego, so by the week before spring break i was extremely deflated.
went boarding on tuesday. the fog was so thick u could literally not see anything except white. i got lost coming down the mountain twice. it was so eerily quiet. i couldn't see anyone or hear anything.. sometimes i couldn't even tell if i was moving or not... strangely enough, the whiteness and peacefulness of it all got me to really think about my life and priorities that i've set... by the time the day was done it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of me, and i felt ready to face the world again...
snowboarding is therapeutic :)
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| Friday, February 15th, 2002
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5:25 pm
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| Saturday, February 2nd, 2002
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11:37 pm
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last week i was trying to be super productive.. this is what i attempted to do daily -wake up at 5:30 -gym at 7:00 am, work out for an hour -school and labs from 8:30 til 5:30 -stay at school til about 10 or 11 pm finishing off work -go home, eat, sleep at 2 or 3
needless to say, i only lasted about 4 days doing this... after that all-nighter, the brain was basically fried... basically couldn't wake up to 3 alarm clocks, and coffee couldn't keep me awake through microbio. not to mention i looked like crap :)
the funny thing is, if i could last on 3 hrs of sleep a night i would actually want to keep this schedule up... i think my mom's workaholic genes are starting to show up.
this weeks goal is to time manage (for sleep)!!!
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| Thursday, January 31st, 2002
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6:34 am - still awake....
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my brain is numb... hope i wrote coherent sentences. Yeast does good stuff, sucks to write about it for 15 pages though.
ok.. off to school...
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3:33 am - driven to drinking
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procrastinating again.... i really don't feel like learning about yeast tonight (ha, and who said biotechnology wasn't fun??)...
i'm wide awake thanks to caffeine (which i didn't start drinking until i joined this program) and the fact that i slept in this morning... was supposed to go to lab at 7 this morning but woke up at 10:30... good thing i have reliable lab partners...
because i played in the snow all afternoon my usually flippy hair got flat.. went into class and everyone was so shocked.. hehe, sometimes i forget that there are people out there who have never seen me with normal hair.
ok.. i've got to do work, only 4 hours left.. no more livejournal for tonight.
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1:59 am
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here is me putting off work when i'm already stretched for time :)
first of the year's all-nighters is here.... ugh...
won a snowman building contest today w/ some of friends... there was a prize involved so we tried to tell as little people about it as possible... any time anyone asked why we were wet all the time i'd say that we were having contests where you dunk your head in the snow and hold it there for as long as you can... can u believe people actually believed me? can u believe some people actually wanted to join me?!! lol.. anyway, i had a good day but now i'm going to pay for my laziness (all night)!!!!!
*sigh* ok, i shall go....
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