Pink is the way to go. [entries|friends|calendar] Lisa [ website | http://www.xanga.com/znupie ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[28 Jan 2004|09:32pm] I'm way too tired nowadays. Sigh. I want it to tell me somewhere special. Maybe in a beautiful garden, park, mountain, castle, or anything that has to do with nature. Not through e-mail, letter, AIM, or in a place that's not magical. That's so lame. If only it were true... 1 comment|post comment

It's stuck in my head!!!! [24 Jan 2004|09:13pm] [ mood | tired ] [ music | Me First and the Gimme Gimmes - I Only Want to be With You ] I don't know what it is that makes me love you so I only know I never want to let you go 'Cause you've started something Oh can't you see? That ever since we met you've had a hold on me It happens to be true I only want to be with you It doesn't matter where you go or what you do I want to spend each moment of the day with you Look what has happened with just one kiss I never knew that I could be in love like this It's crazy but it's true I only want to be with you You stopped and smiled at me And asked if I'd care to dance I fell into your open arms And I didn't stand a chance Now listen honey I just want to be beside you everywhere As long as we're together, honey, I don't care 'Cause you've started something Oh can't you see? That ever since we met you've had a hold on me It happens to be true I only want to be with you No matter what you do I only want to be with you post comment

More Money [24 Jan 2004|06:51pm] [ mood | cold ] Okay, I bought something else again. This time it was a Sennheiser MX-500 Stereo In-Ear Headphones on Amazon.com for $20. It had good reviews and it was at an okay price. My crappy 8-year-old Aiwa headphones are dying on me. Hmmm, I rarely buy things that are not school related but this time it's different. I just had to get it! I don't know what else I need. Maybe textbooks and school supplies, but my dad will cover those for now. So far, I have a laptop, digital camera, mp3 player, and cellphone. Last week, I bought a new pair of Puma sneakers. They are comfy and nice looking, so I'll stop buying any more new shoes. Hey, what about boots? Haha. I guess that's it. I don't know what I'm going to buy next... What has gotten into me? I HOPE I STOP THIS SHOPPING INSANITY. 1 comment|post comment

Wheeeee [24 Jan 2004|04:54pm] [ mood | excited ] I'm so excited right now. I just bought a Nomad Jukebox Zen Xtra (40 GB) online for only $255. I was this close to buying a 15 GB Apple iPod, but thankfully Jake stopped me before I typed in my credit card number. That was $270. Hmmm, Kelly just bought a 10 GB Apple iPod for $300, so I think this is a good deal. Even though it's a little bit bigger than the second generation iPods, I'm still happy. I can't wait to listen nonstop to 14 hours of hot music, rather than 8 hours on the iPod. Maybe I'm just making myself feel better because I didn't get the PURTY LITTLE iPod. Ah whatever, I can handle the bulkiness. My Zen has more memory than my laptop. This is sad. I hope the music won't distract my concentration. Man, they always mess me up during tests. Get that stupid song out of my head! I'm almost finished with my essays for four applications to these summer undergraduate research programs. Oh, please let me be accepted. I really need to do something productive that pays me for once. Again, I hate University Writing. I was made the discussion leader for Tuesday's class. Fuck myself for not signing up for the biography role. I heart music. -- Um, I'm not trying to cut myself. It's just a line from Eminem's Stan. I find it so moving. I hope I didn't scare anyone. I would never hurt myself intentionally... 2 comments|post comment

People [23 Jan 2004|12:11pm] [ music | Eminem - Stan ] Sing this song for me, tell me how you'll never leave my side, I'll meet you around 7, I miss you already...good-bye to you. I'm sitting in the lab listening to my little mp3 player. Man, how I reeeeally want an iPod just to keep me company, but it's kind of expensive. Dammit, I was going to buy this 128 MB Smartmedia card for my old mp3 player, but it's sold out now. Also they won't make any more of it. Ahhhhh, I should've never cancelled that order. Now I have to fork out $20 more to buy another kind. Some little things have recently been getting on my nerves. Starting today, I'll try not to pay attention to them. If I do, I'll get even more angry. Maybe it's not his/her fault. Is it me? I try so hard to get every one to accept me. I try to be nice, but then I become annoying afterwhile. Then they stop talking to me. Only when they want something from me, do they become nice again. I hate being used. Of course, I can't say no to them, so I help them. Then they ignore me again. It's like a cycle. Rejection. Catcher in the Rye. Are they superficial or am I superficial? Some things are not possible I guess. I need to learn and experience more. I'm stuck in this little immature world. I just want to live a simple, happy life. That's all I ask. All I want. Nothing more. What am I going to right after college? I know there are more *nastier people out there. Gosh, I'm so vulnerable. My tears gone cold, I'm wondering why. Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds, it's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me. 3 comments|post comment

[23 Jan 2004|10:34am] WHY CAN'T I EVER HEAR YOU??? post comment

[21 Jan 2004|11:42pm] I'm annoying to every fuckin creature. SCREW EVERY THING. I can't accomplish anything. WRong WRong WRong Sometimes I hate...ARGH. Delete. I really don't mean it, but sometimes I feel like shouting out FUCK YOU. I'm sorry All I feel are bruises. I don't understand why there are opposites.

[21 Jan 2004|11:07pm] "the best thing in life is something you can't have." - ct is it really true? sometimes i question that. -- I do not like communicating with people. Somehow I always either upset them or myself. I don't want to think about it anymore. Why is/are [ ] always like this? Not one thing I do is right. post comment

My sister's home...and her leg is asleep [21 Jan 2004|09:02pm] I'm getting annoyed by this. Seriously, I'm up to the brink of madness. I don't know how to act in front of Blah anymore. I'm always afraid that I'll get on Blah's nerves. Blah seems to be so moody sometimes. I try to be nice, but somehow it annoys the heck out of Blah. I DO CARE. When I say things, it's like Blah ignores me intentionally. Seems like Blah doesn't want to do anything with me. Blah is always friendly towards the others, all except me. That's why I always feel left out. Sigh, it depresses me so. The only time Blah really paid attention to me was when I had something Blah wanted. I hate when that happens. Why did I pick Blah? Maybe I thought...oh, how wrong I am. I don't understand Blah's weird personality. I know I'm not overreacting because my instincts are always right. The vibes people give off, it's so transparent. I know Blah doesn't like me. Dammit, I hate University Writing. ROAR. post comment

[21 Jan 2004|08:44pm] [ mood | cold ] It was finally nice to feel more than 4 sticks of chopsticks in my hands while I was washing the dishes. I practically fell asleep in Economics. Maybe I can understand Physics. I'm really going to hate February. Happy Chinese New Year! post comment

[20 Jan 2004|08:43am] [ mood | awake ] Well, classes start today for me at 9:10 AM. Argh. Yep, I'm back to Dead Aim. This time it's 4.1 and I don't have to keep on typing in my registration key. Kazaa Lite rocks! 2 comments|post comment

[17 Jan 2004|09:10pm] It's not that I regret. I do know what I'm doing. I chose to. But I just wonder sometimes. I don't understand. Why? I don't see anything.

There is no heat. [16 Jan 2004|08:24pm] [ mood | bleh ] [ music | Foo Fighters, RHCP, Blink 182 ] To this day, the first scene in Finding Nemo still makes me cry. I'm again in pain. Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain. FUCKIN PAIN. My bottom row teeth were tightened even further. Ahhh... My teeth felt kind of funny when the wires were taken off. It was if they would move at any instant. Or maybe even fall out. Thank goodness he placed a new pair on right after. Man, sometimes it's good to have the wires on. It's me. My teeth. Back to normal. Hmmm, I wonder what would happen in two years when they are permanently taken off. It would be quite funky. I'm washing all of my clothes before I leave. Don't you just hate it when the washing machine isn't powerful enough to get this stupid tough stain out? It's better to hand wash it sometimes, but then I'm too lazy to. Sigh, the things we do every day to survive in this world. It's getting boring. I'm going to have to do this for the next 70 years of my life. Wait, will I even live that long? It would be cool to get liposuction, face lifts, and botox. Nah, I'm just kidding. I don't know, the sight of being saggy, wrinkly, and spotty is getting to me slowly on. I'm aging by the seconds! I watched only the first 10 minutes of The Ring, and already I'm scared to get up at night to use the bathroom. Dammit, should I finish the movie? "They're all out there to get me!" I love my new AEO jeans. Good fit, length, color, and style. Oh, yeah. Finally a pair of jeans I like, or maybe even love. Shopping in the brutal cold. It wasn't too bad. -- Idaho? Udaho, Dan! 3 comments|post comment

[15 Jan 2004|08:43pm] [ mood | COLD ] [ music | Foo Fighters - Learn to Fly ] I cannot feel my hands or feet. Foo Fighters. Gotta love that 90s music. 3 comments|post comment

Registration Again [15 Jan 2004|09:27am] [ mood | awake ] [ music | some Third Eye Blind song? ] It's so cool staying overnight at the dorms, especially when you have the whole floor to yourselves. Last night I had to because of the stupid snow. Haha, it was nice taking pictures with Kelly in our thongs and bras. I HOPE JAKE DIDN'T SEE THEM. He stole her digital camera for a few minutes! Oh, no....=P Another day off from work. Guess what, I finally found what I had lost. Well sort of. I asked the doctor who I worked with during the summer to write me another recommendation. I should start working on my essays for those applications since most of them are due by 2/1. I can't believe there are five more days left to the vacation. Next term, it's all going to be work. Oh, boohoo. I have a class at 9:00 AM, University Writing with Gonzalez. I hope I can wake up by that time and be alert. Every one says on Culpa that she's a keeper. I do hope so, but then her grading isn't that generous... I'm happier these days. I had so much fun. Thanks. 4 comments|post comment

Fuck Myself [13 Jan 2004|08:26pm] [ mood | ANGRY ] I thought I was organized and anal about every thing in my life. I guess not. I lost something so important for my future. How could I be so careless? This is not me at all. I was sifting through all my junk, and I am a major packrat. I collect stupid, memorable things and yet I don't have the documents that can get me to places. I am so fuckin pissed at myself. Why???? It's gone. Sometimes you can just lose the things you need the most. I threw away some old Columbia mail. Man, they brought back so many nice happy feelings when I first received my acceptance letter. I remember the summer of 2003 where I kept getting mail about orientation, housing, health services, and school events to start the first-years off. It was great. Now it's all gone. All I feel is emptiness and worry about the future. What am I going to major in? Will I maintain a 3.5 GPA all through the terms? I wish it were August 2003 again. Please, I want it back... 3 comments|post comment

Registration [13 Jan 2004|01:53pm] [ mood | tired ] I've been constantly logging on to htp://ssol.columbia.edu. I haven't noticed this before, but I somehow made it on the Dean's List. Coolness...but how much does this mean? I plan to take 6 classes next term. That's 19.5 credits. Yep, I know it's a lot, but I'm willing to try it out. If it doesn't, I'll drop Principles of Economics and be left with a lot of holes in my schedule. Eh, I don't know what am I going to do about my busy schedule on Tuesdays and Thursdays. How will I find the time to eat? I hope Desai is easy as they all say on Culpa. Doubts, doubts, doubts... Edit: ARGHHHHH, how could my father lose the damn Dell rebate check???????? 2 comments|post comment

[12 Jan 2004|09:49pm] AHHHHHH, I wanna move back already! I hope Kelly's okay in the dark alone in that suite. Argh, I wish I were back. I'm in the mood for waltz. post comment

Oh, dear... [12 Jan 2004|08:58pm] [ mood | wowed ] [ music | Le Via En Rose ] Oh, sometimes I love watching old movies. Sabrina was lovely. Black and white was weird, but it was perfect for the setting. I just never knew how romantic French is. Audrey Hepburn. What beauty. I want to be just like her Cinderella characters. Prince charming sweeps her off her feet. Siiigh...my Disney fantasies will never be over. That's it, I'm watching Breakfast at Tiffany's next. Hmmm, Casablanca too. Au revoir! post comment

[11 Jan 2004|09:02pm] I'm disconnected. I don't make any sense for once. 1 comment|post comment

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