| ..some other beginning's end.. |
[03 Mar 2002|04:18pm] |
so after more than 500 entries, it's time for this livejournal to come to an end...
my first entry was in november of 2000...
i forgot about the journal for a while,
and picked it up again last year...
and looking back,
i see who i was then...
and who i am now...
the two people don't really match up...
a lot has happened.
a lot has been captured in this journal.
some of the things i want to remember,
some of the things i would sometimes like to remember to forget.
yes, i know that it's all a part of me...
it always will be.
but right now, i'm ready to just leave this bit of natalie history behind....
thanks to all of you who read this journal...
it's been cool...
and i know that it all only gets better from here.
love you all...
especially *you*
(thank you for everything)
..i know exactly where and what i want to be..
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| ..the moon is down and heaven is waiting.. |
[03 Mar 2002|12:02am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 happy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
dire straits. romeo and juliet. |
] |
two weeks from today, i'll be in your arms...
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| ..stealing lyrics from travis's journal.. |
[02 Mar 2002|02:45pm] |
Ben and Jason, If all we had were stars
"as i watched the sky,
an hour rolled by,
would all in life be beautiful
if all we had were stars?
our eyes could meet
accross this floor
would all in life be beautiful
if all we had were stars?
did a scarecrow wave
as the last train passed?
the trees were shaped like diamonds
the leaves were shaped like hearts
as i watch you sleep
alone at last
would all in life be beautiful
if all we had were stars?"
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| ..this is the first song for your mix tape.. |
[02 Mar 2002|10:53am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 weird |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
the latest mix tape. |
] |
my mom woke me up this morning by telling me that i had mail...
a new mix tape,
full of songs that say i love you in such sweet ways.
i love you.
thank you for showing me that you love me every day.
and thank you for listening to me talk out my feelings,
even when i don't know exactly what i'm thinking.
and last night was a perfect example...
because i've been thinking about a lot lately.
because some things have been bothering me...
and i don't know if i have reason to let them bother me.
but thank you for listening...
you're the best person that i know.
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| ..anything but signals that are mixed.. |
[28 Feb 2002|05:04pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
tired. sick. but happy. & in love. |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
dashboard confessional. a plain morning. |
] |
music test = over
(and i think that my hours of crazy studying really paid off)
weekend = almost here
(it will be nice to be home, relax, and try to get over being sick)
san francisco = 9 days away
(california, here we come!)
2 days of travis time = 16 days from now
(can i even begin to describe how that makes me feel?)
..do you ever feel like you're living in a dream?..
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| ..i want to be your very own winnie cooper.. |
[28 Feb 2002|02:18am] |
i think that hearing your voice is one of the most wonderful things in the world.
goodnight and sweet dreams.
i love you.
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| ..the ups and downs.. |
[27 Feb 2002|04:31pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sick |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
hot rod circuit. |
] |
i'm tired.
i need to study for music.
i'm really tired,
even though i skipped math class...
and slept for two hours.
hmm...
am i getting sick?
perhaps.
god, it seems like a lot of people are sick.
i don't feel like being one of them.
because i was sick from october 28 until after christmas...
i don't want a repeat of that.
because runny noses sore throats are not fun.
but travis is.
and so is being done with my work.
and so instead of complaining further,
i will look forward to tonight's travis time,
mix tapes,
and having my test be over and done with at 3:45 tomorrow.
..only 17 more days..
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| ..fluorescent post it notes on charlie brown-like little children.. |
[26 Feb 2002|01:21am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 loved |
] |
| [ |
music |
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the june spirit. the ivy league. |
] |
SuPeRPhrEK: when i have kids, im going to write them notes on post it notes and stick them on their heads when they nap
she made a wish: ok. but you can't use those boring pale yellow post its. you have to use bright colored ones.
SuPeRPhrEK: of course
SuPeRPhrEK: ever since i saw it in better off dead, ive wanted to that
she made a wish: that's a perfect example of why i love you... because i know that you'll stick notes on your kids while they nap.
SuPeRPhrEK: haha
SuPeRPhrEK: how nice
SuPeRPhrEK: you love me cause im odd
she made a wish: exactly.
she made a wish: but sticking notes on their heads doesn't seem so odd to me... because odd things are normal to me
SuPeRPhrEK: yes, we are a perfect match
she made a wish: yes we are
she made a wish: will you give me post its while i nap?
SuPeRPhrEK: yes.
SuPeRPhrEK: of course.
she made a wish: good.
SuPeRPhrEK: theyll say things like "you are beautiful when you sleep," and "i woke up to a dream of you."
now that's just adorable...
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| ..i thought i might be G-rated.. |
[25 Feb 2002|05:12pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 silly |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
no motiv. stay. |
] |
now playing at a theatre near you...
me...
children under 13 need parental supervision...
PG-13 Now we're getting somewhere - your actions are
now past pre-teen level, and you're beginning to
display some more mature content in your life
"Which Movie Classification Are You?"
Test created by Jamie - take it here.
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| ..500th entry ramblings.. |
[25 Feb 2002|12:24am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
happy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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belle and sebastian. sleep the clock around. |
] |
so this is my 500th entry...
500...
wow...
that's a lot of journal entries...
that's a lot of life...
ups and downs...
transitions, growth, and growing pains...
love lost and found...
meteor showers and hundreds of starry nights...
11:11 wishes and four pairs of converse sneakers...
finding the one who makes even the worst days wonderful...
a stack of mix tapes and a box full of letters...
a dozen roses (not just an excellent braid song)...
birth of the dorks in exile...
rock out time at the el n gee...
told that i'm emo, but am i really?...
took a trip to the heartbreak hotel but checked out when you checked into my life...
so i'm better off now than i was a while ago..
better off now that you're here...
better off because of everyone that i love...
because of everyone who loves me back...
because time does that to you...
lets you find your way back to being where you want to be...
being what you want to be...
and sometimes you're just forced to deal with a lot of things all at once...
you can't slow it down,
can't speed it up.
you have to deal,
even if it feels like it might spin out of control...
and all it does is make you realize that you could handle it...
you realize that you're becoming the person you want to be...
you find this stabilizing and constant thing in your life,
be it love or music or faith or all of the above or something completely different.
you find comfort in the craziness,
and learn from every experience.
you begin to see yourself as someone set apart from everyone else...
unique...
not defined solely by a musical genre or who your friends are...
and it makes you feel alive...
so here i am...
alive, truly alive...
..thank you for the butterflies and for giving me the faith that all my wishes for us are meant to come true..
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| ..tonight will be emily's initiation to the el n gee.. |
[23 Feb 2002|01:14pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sleepy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
audio learning center, favorite. |
] |
tonight at the el n gee....
CONVERGE
GRADE
THE HOPE CONSPIRACY
me + emily + hardcore show = good times
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| ..a momumental event.. |
[21 Feb 2002|04:23pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cheerful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Built to Spill - Made-Up Dreams |
] |
on this day,
19 years ago,
a very important event occurred....
dana was born,
therefore making today her birthday.
so...
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| ..brightest star shining in my sky.. |
[21 Feb 2002|01:57pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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happy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Sugarcult. lost in you. |
] |
last night i wanted to talk forever...
(i <3 you)
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| ..randomness off the charts.. |
[21 Feb 2002|01:10am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
amused |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Five for Fighting . Superman. |
] |
ross and i took pictures with our belle and sebastian tickets.
i did an excellent job of swiffering the room.
becky and sarah had too much coffee.
i talked to every member of travis's family on the phone.
funny and weird things happen every day.
i am going to call travis soon.
i had some coffee and so i am not too tired.
i get to sleep late tomorrow.
the week is almost over.
2 more classes left.
this entry does not have much depth.
depth...
our math project has to have mathematical depth.
silly math project.
oh well, it's almost spring break.
17 days till san francisco.
i always wanted to go there.
because the tanner family lived there on full house.
but i always thought that the olsen twins looked like troll dolls.
i collected those when i was little.
the troll fascination came a few years after the ghostbusters obsession,
which makes me think of marshie,
which makes me think of bed,
which makes me think that i'd like to be laying in bed talking to travis.
so now i will do that.
goodnight.
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| ..electronic renaissance.. |
[20 Feb 2002|01:52pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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excited |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
elliott. .12 speed of film. |
] |
today, ross, brett, and i will have belle and sebastian tickets in our hands.
wow. amazing. MAY 4 will be AMAZING.
i have a feeling that this will be one of those shows that i never forget...
especially since i get to see it with ross,
because he loves belle and sebastian.
and so do i.
and it will be wonderful.
and another rad show...
APRIL 3...
dashboard in hartford.
with the anniversary.
brett and ross and i will get to see them together too.
dashboard is a show that i need to see with brett,
because we became friends over that music...
and ross is just now starting to listen to it.
and my sister will also be at that show,
which will be rad...
because we listen to that music together all the time...
driving in the car,
singing along to songs like screaming infidelities...
good times.
now if only travis could be there when they play *so impossible*...
i'm sure one day we'll get to see it together..
ok, one more...
MAY 27...
blink 182.
green day.
and....
SAVES THE DAY!!!!
(along with other bands who are yet to be announced)
ok, so this will be a really fun show.
especially because travis will be here to see it with me.
my sister and her boy will come too.
and we'll have fun watching all the 13 year old blink fans be punk rock.
well...
we don't have to watch them.
we could make out instead.
..on a bus stop in the town, "we rule the school," written for everyone to see and to read..
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| ..the night, it's never over.. |
[16 Feb 2002|04:44pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
sugarcult. pretty girl (the way i love you) |
] |
it's really rad to have stef here.
last night we watched back to the future movies with ross, emily, brett, becky, josh, john, and kristen.
excellent movies.
i had never seen them before.
now i know what i had been missing!
and since stef and i only watched the first and third movies,
i think that tonight i'll see if ross will let us borrow the middle one...
so we could see the entire thing.
last night i think i had one of my worst sleeps.
i let stef have my bed.
and i slept on the rug...
on 2 bean bag chairs.
but i couldn't seem to find the right sleeping position.
at least travis called around 4...
so i got to talk to him and get more tired...
which made it easier to sleep.
but i woke up many times.
(next time that happens, i'll call you)
i love...
*time with rad friends
*messages on my cell phone (..hi honey. i'm in seattle. just wanted to say hi..)
*having so many things to look forward to
*you
..28 days from today is the day..
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| ..if i could kiss you i would.. |
[15 Feb 2002|03:32pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
happy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
starship. nothing's gonna stop us now. |
] |
i didn't really write about last night...
so i'll do that now...
my valentine's day evening was spent with 2 rad boys...
brett and ross.
we went out and had some dinner.
we had a lot of dinner...
our waiter (his name was MERV) probably thought we were crazy.
well, maybe we are.
and then we watched natural born killers.
no movie says "happy valentine's day" like one about a major killing spree.
(sarcasm intended in the previous statement)
travis called me partway through the movie.
so at least i got to talk to him a bit last night...
but i fell asleep early and didn't get to talk to him anymore.
how sad.
but it's not like i didn't talk to him for probably a couple hours over the course of the day...
and today...
i listened to travis on the radio.
his friend miles was on with him.
and it was good.
the two of them are quite funny together.
and while i was listening,
i was cleaning.
i always clean on fridays.
today i really wanted to clean because....
STEFANIE IS COMING TO VISIT ME FOR THE WEEKEND!!!!
can you tell that i'm looking forward to having her here? :)
ok, one more thing...
GO TO THIS JOURNAL!
because it's funny as hell.
and i hope that this chick is not serious...
because if she was, it would be just plain scary.
..ok, one more thing. i love you..
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| ..my valentine.. |
[15 Feb 2002|12:37am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 indescribable |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
nothing. |
] |
it's time for some sleep...
but before i go to sleep,
i just wanted to say once again how happy i am to have you in my life.
and as redundant as this may get,
i feel like i could say it a million and one more times,
and still feel that it doesn't fully explain how i feel.
but thank you for everything.
you are all of my wishes come true.
goodnight and sweet dreams.
i love you.
..the stars are out tonight and you're the brightest one shining in my sky..
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| ..L-O-V-E.. |
[14 Feb 2002|05:05pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
loved |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
the stryder. sexy black train. |
] |
oh my god.
i got a dozen roses.
oh my god.
i love you.
|
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| ..i.heart.you.. |
[14 Feb 2002|12:54pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
happy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
get up kids. eudora. |
] |
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO EVERYONE!
(especially you, travis)
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