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Jackie

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[22 Mar 2002|09:09am]
Im leaving today Im leaving today Im leaving today Im leaving today

[20 Mar 2002|12:16pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]
[ music | i have tribe stuck in my head ]

Dear Jackie,
Loving someone, Jackie, is no guarantee that one day that person won't leave. There is no choice in the matter. You must give your love freely, and without strings attached. If you go towards people always asking for guarantees or protection, you will make them feel that you don't trust them. In turn, they won't trust you. It's a vicious cycle, and the only way out is through giving your heart unconditionally...

im not sure exactly how to take that.....it is basically saying those that i love will probably leave and well that sucks but suck it up and give your heart's all. I suppose thats true because well what is love worth unless you put your whole heart into it? But well i dont want to look at it and think that they are gonna leave no matter what. Grrr. Have a nice day

[18 Mar 2002|12:28pm]
Just for the record stupid teachers should not try to teach religious topic to kids....hmmm ...after this class and jennings that oen day...im beginng to wonder where that whole church and state thing went

[18 Mar 2002|12:24pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

NAME 4 BAD HABITS YOU HAVE:
Being a bitch
never having a writing utensil
taking things out of proportion
making excuses
NAME 4 PEOPLE CURRENTLY ON YOUR BAD SIDE:
kelly evans...she was all full of ditry looks (this will last probably like 5 seconds)
Bryan Foster
wow this is a first i dont have anymore people


NAME 4 SCENTS YOU LOVE:
Polo Sport
Spring
Gas (im a freak)
yea that is all i can think of

NAME 4 THINGS YOU'D NEVER WEAR:
Thong bathing suit(agreed)
vests
penny loafers (with or without the actual penny)
any thing that has a size with an "X" in it
OH and anything FUBU

NAME 4 TV SHOWS YOU LOVE:
Friends
Blind Date
Yea i dont watch TV

NAME 4 CELEBRITIES YOU DON'T LIKE:
Britney Spears (im a girl im not supposed to like her right?)
Rappers who rap about "blunts, bitches, hoes, 40s, and glocks"
Mandy Moore
Heather Graham

NAME 4 DRINKS YOU REGULARLY DRINK:
Water
Iced Tea
Gatorade
MT.Dew...yea i have a low sperm count

NAME 4 ICE CREAM FLAVORS YOU LOVE:
Cookie Dough
Mint Chocolate chip
Samoa ice cream
Banana Ice cream

NAME 4 RANDOM FACTS ABOUT YOURSELF:
I have small feet
Im leaving for florida THIS friday
I listen to country
my dog is a moron

NAME 4 RANDOM FACTS ABOUT YOUR FAMILY:
My dad had a heart attack
My mom has a tatoo
My sister is going to grad school
My dog is an complete moron

NAME 4 MOVIES YOU LOVE:
SLC PUNK
Empire records
American history X
Man on the moon

NAME 4 SONGS YOU LOVE:
Untitled-Domestic Problems
For Better, For worse-Slick shoes
Too much Drama- John Doe (yea yea, make fun of me)
Wild one-Faith hill


NAME 4 IMPORTANT PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE:
Steven
Heather
PPI Girls
God
(who woulda thought)

[18 Mar 2002|08:32am]
my baby is all sick and pathetic at home....i want to go visit him...but no i have to do that stupid school thing

[15 Mar 2002|12:51pm]
I HATE THIS STUPID CLASS......ugh anyway

I really want to know how these kids have survived this long

Where is my education [14 Mar 2002|08:59am]
So here i sit in my independant study doing nothing per usual......arg....i talked to my mom....my mom is much cooler online....i finished my self portrait....but stupid ass socks parker doesn't have time to come look at it...im not sure i want her to because then she will just find a bunch of stuff wrong with it...grrr...i dont like her much

I wish ..... (thats subjunctive).... [13 Mar 2002|08:31pm]
[ mood | angry ]

I learned to skateboard today....and i really like it..for like the 5 feet i went. I want to buy a skateboard for college next year. Fun stuff. I want a cute girlie board..im a nerd

Speaking of that....i wsh that i was more prone to try new things. Like things sound so cool but im too afraid of failing at everything that anytime someone tries to teach me, i just end up annoying them. LIke iknow i want to do it and just not care about looking dumb, but then my body reacts in the moron way and is stupid. Grr im so damn complex...i wish my brain and my body would get their crap together

What is my problem with peple i dont know. Do i honestly make efforts to talk to people or do i just imagine the efforts and get mad when they dont talk to me. I honestly feel at youth group ive given an effort and after almost 9 months half of them haven't even bothered to learn my name aside from "steves girlfriend". I guess i just want to badly for me to be able to chill and hang out with my friends like he does mine. All of his old friends from before id love to hang out with them, from what i can tell and what ithink they are all really fun people to be with...but then when his friends call me a freak in the hallway it doens't really make me want to hangout wth them.. I want to be able to have conversations with the youth group kids but i just feel like they treat me like im just another chick that comes to youth group with steve. I hte how they brush me off like that Maybe im just being irrational........

I want to know when i got so sensitive.

It pisses me off that you can say stuff that hits my heart in ways unknown ....even though i know its true....and still blame me. I hate that we can both be online and yet you never strike up a convo and when I do....you atlk for 5 seconds. You never try to make plans only tell me when you're to buys to have them with me. I wish...

once again productive in 5th hour [13 Mar 2002|01:30pm]
[ mood | upset ]

1) Full Name:Jackie Ann Zimmerman
2) Name Backwards: namremmiz nna eikcaj
3) Were you named after anyone?my uncle and my grandma
4) Does your name mean anything? i dunno
5) Nick Name(s) J.Z.
6) Screen Name(s): Jzturtle, Wiitybitch14, Jackiez14
7) Date Of Birth: Nov 15, 1984
8) Place of Birth: Southfield providence hospital, southfield , Mich.
9) Nationality: German...and way way down the line Im a little pocahontas
10) Current Location: German room
11) Sign: scorpio
12) Religion: im not completely positive
13) Height: 5'2 or 3
14) Weight: 126 LBS
15) Shoe Size: 3.5-8
16) Hair color: brownish blond
17) Eye color:blue
18) What do you look like? what?
19) Innie or Outie? Innie
20) Righty, Lefty, or Ambidexterous? lefty most the time...sometimes ambidexterous
21) Gay, Straight, Bi, or Other? Straight contrary to popular belief

Who Is Your...

22) Best friend(s):apparently i dont have one
23) Best friend you trust more than anyone:steve
24) Best friends {your sex}: nothing like repeat questions
26) Best Bud(s): im not sure
27) Boyfriend / Girlfriend:Steven
28) Crush: Mark hoppus!
29) Parent(s): mary and danny
30) Worst Enemy: myself
31) Favorite on-line Guy(s): i know who i dont like online
32) Favorite on-line Girl(s): Does anyone really care? I didn't think so...yup
33) Funniest friend:not sure
34) Craziest friend: " "
35) fattest Friend: this is horrible
36) Loudest Freind: i dont know
37) Person you cry with: me, my steven
Do You Have...

38) Any sisters: yes, 1
39) Any brothers: yea jimmy, hes 6!
40) Any pets: yup
41) A Disease: most likely ill get what my dad has...wow thats depressing
42) A Pager: no
43) A Personal mohawk: as opposed to a public mohawk
44) A leather jacket with studs on it?: no but id like one
45) A heroin needle: no
46) A Pool or hot tub: hot tub
47) A Car: a beast

Describe Your...

48) Personality: raving bitch at first....then i dont know however you react to me i guess....
49) Driving: I'm an excellent driver..yea slow in the driveway
50) Car or one you want: My car: a beast.......i want an avenger
51) Room: over crowded too small, cluttered always
52) shoes: i have a plethora of shoes
53) School:Western right now...then ...western
54) Bed:winnie the pooh waterbed sheets
55) Relationship with your parent(s): im not sure that i have one anymore

Do You

56) Believe in yourself: when its a full moon
57) Do you believe in love at first sight?Yes'm
58) Consider yourself a good listener: Depends on what I'm listening to...for the most part yes though
59) Consider yourself a good friend:i think i kinda suck at it
60) Get Along with your parents: sometimes
61) Save your e-mail conversations: yes
62) Pray:in my car
63) Believe in reincarnation: id like to think it was real
64) Like to make fun of people:yea im evil in that way..im working on it
65) Like to talk on the phone: yea but only when people actually talk back

Do you...

67) Like to drive: Yeah I do
68) Get motion sickness: nope
69) Eat the stems of broccoli: ugh no way
70) Eat Chicken fingers with a fork:prolly not
71) Dream in color: yes all the time
72) Type with your fingers on home row: yuppers
73) Sleep with a stuffed animal: yup i sleep with the stevie bear

What Is/Are/Was...

74) Right next to you:a class of morons
75) On the walls of your room: pictures...clouds...blink
76) On your mouse pad: blink
77) Your dream car 1969 GTO judge in factory paint
78) Your dream date: I dont really have one...i think its because im happy with what i have and a dream date insinuates that you want something different/more....and i couldn't ask for more
79) Your dream honeymoon spot: some where away from everyone i know
80) Your dream husband/wife: someone who is like steve..whether its him or not ill have to wait and see
81) Your bedtime: lately 10-10:30
82) Under your bed: nothing
83) The single most important question: "why" most def
84) Your bad time of the day: between 3 and 9 in the morning
85) Your worst fear(s): being lonely and fat and having lots of cats
86) The weather is like: nice and warm
87) The time? 1:27
88) The date? march 13
89) The best trick you ever played on someone: i dunno
90) The weirdest food or drink that you like:not sure
91) Theme Song: Wild one
92) The hardest thing about growing up: realizing you dont have any friends
93) Your funnest experience: Oh geez, i don't think I can choose just one
94) Your scariest moment: i dunno
95) The silliest thing you've said: everythign that comes out of my mouth
96) The funniest or most desperate thing you've done to get the attention of the
opposite sex? there are so many things
97) The scariest thing that's ever happened while with your friend(s):my haunted house by my dog
98) The worst feeling in the world: being alone
99) The best feeling in the world: Being with people that you love to death; Being kissed Being loved...ya know, those little things

Give me a break [12 Mar 2002|12:28pm]
this teacher for my aid class is just rediculous.......shes calling a parent right now because her daughter is wearing revealing clothing.....and its not that bad...nothing that thes girls are wearing are that bad....she says that she wants them to have dignity....whatever....she has a problem with the SWEATPANTS...that say naughty on the butt.... it just doesn't show any dignity...

These girls aren't wearing anything that anyone else in this school isn't wearing. and from what it sounds like this mom thinks like me.
"if i came to work with my cleavage showing surely id get recommended"

shut up stupid....stupid teachers teach kids to be stupid

[11 Mar 2002|09:14am]
[ mood | eh ]
[ music | the printer printing ]

so yea i haven't updated in a while and apparently there is only 6 minutes ofclass left so this will be a very short one. Im sick of highschool and its drama.... AND the drama queens who thrive on it. i want to kick them all in their heads. but i wont. spring break is soon...hopefully its not still fucked up due to incompetence....but that is another story....wow am i gonna get crap for that one...but if i have to repeat this here i go.. its my journal, my thoughts...dotn care if you like them.

i saw a great sticker the other day it said

"Hi, i dont care, thanks"

i like that

[02 Mar 2002|05:19am]
good luck to me

Call me Crazy [27 Feb 2002|10:17pm]
[ mood | pissed off/scared ]

Janis said, Now that im here where am i?
i knew who i was but it was all a lie...
i cant fool me any longer
because cheating youself doesn't make you stronger
I have small feet, and a belly thats big and round
my dad thinks my music is nothing but annoying sound
I have a few friends, but they never call
My legs are short, im not very tall
I cry when im upset,
and i swear at the opposite
I dont know how to speak my feelings
and dont understand church or their spiritual healings
i want to go to heaven and live in the kingdom of god
but my parents taught me faith was a fraud.
I make a lot of mistakes
My world crashes when my heart breaks
I believe in the white picket fence, american dream
but im sick of patriotism being the latest thing
I want to grow up, find a job, a husband and a house
when i was a kid i believed in St nickolaus.
I dont like my name,
and i'm never at blame
i want to know when ill die, i want to fly, i never want to cry, i love my guy, i hate saying good bye, i always haveto know why, i like toast with bread that is rye, in almost everything i try, im going to miss PPI, im scared of flys, and i never want to say it wasn't worth anything

[25 Feb 2002|12:27pm]
So the teacher in the retard class, which im in cause im Frau King's Aid, and they are in her class.....They are going over spelling and one of their words is circumvent....and shes putting it on the board so it looks ebonically....and it says
Cir Cum Vent


sorry i just thought that it was funny......no one else seems to notice it....i have the mind of a 12 year old boy...

Hmmm [25 Feb 2002|12:23pm]
ubj:

www.astrocenter.com: Your Daily Horoscope
Date:

Mon, 25 Feb 2002 12:53:47 AM Eastern Standard Time
From:

Astrologers
To:

JACKIE

If you cannot read this html email, please click on this link or copy and paste it into your browser : AOL users click here
Your Daily Horoscope for February 25, 2002.

Dear Jackie,
You are especially intuitive today, Jackie, making any group gathering interesting
indeed. Your head may be filled with the unspoken thoughts of those around you.
You feel as though you have two conversations going on, one internal and one
external. Needless to say it's confusing, and difficult to complete a sentence
without being distracted. Do your best to keep your focus. By tomorrow the
voices in your head will have quieted.
Best wishes for today, from the astrologers of Astrocenter.com


Damn it....those voices are real

weekend from hell [24 Feb 2002|12:42am]
[ mood | fed up ]
[ music | forever young- rod stewart ]

Yesterday was supposed to kick ass. Steve and i were gonna go to the DIA but then our parents decided to be hitlers and say no...so then we were like uh ok what now. SO we decided to go back to plaster play house and finish our stuff that we started like 5 years ago....so we get there and who is there right when we walk in....Amber....needlesstosay we left and didn't finished them. What are the off of all places on all days.....then we go out to eat which actually turned out ok except our waitress was a biatch...then we go to the movies and who is there???/ THe stupid bitch. i hope she dies. Then our movies kinda sucked. So today i went to work which was well, work. SO steven and i drive to livonia after work and we visit one of my friends that i haven't seen in over 5 years....and she kinda blew me off...so then we went to see one of his friends that he hasn't seen in almost 5 years and he blew steve off, again. And the intersection that i crossed like everyweekend when i was a kid....a girl got hit and killed at tonight. There was what looked like blood all over the street. It was crazy we were right there after it happened, and i used to walk right there all the time when i was a kid. Crazy. So then we get home....and steve realizes that he has to write 2 papers tonight. And JackieD kinda hoed me out tonight which pisses me off because she keeps on doing it. Screw her.....im over it....So because steve was late for curfew last night his curfew tonight was 12....so he gets ready to leave and his car is a moron. The gears were grinding like horribly when he put it in drive. So i had to drive him home tonight and his car is in my driveway. He has no job, or money , and now his car is being stupid. I wanted to comfort him some how, but when you're ina position like that , you dont want to realyl talk to anyone. So i just kinda didn't say anything. I hate it when crap like that happens. THis weekend blows. Not to mention i still ahve to memorize my WHOLE forensics piece...good luck..yea right. Ill probably not get to go to church tomorrow...every thing happens for a reason. I hope

[20 Feb 2002|10:34pm]
i feel empty inside

[19 Feb 2002|06:11pm]
I HATE MY MOM....jesus h-christ...i mean is it that big of a deal to pick something up for JUST me on your way home....sorry that i expect my parents to actually provide for me.......GRRR

top 5 worrds i can't say.... [18 Feb 2002|10:53pm]
1. n - i double ggg rrrr
2. Begins with a P and ends with an ussy
3. Homosexual beginnign with a F
4. armpit.....
5...i forgot it

"I remember the way i felt on the day that you told me, you really loved me" [18 Feb 2002|10:15pm]
[ mood | frantic! ]
[ music | Jimmy eat Worl ]

A good day...gone a little sour....but hey i'm still alive. I really need to get off my ass and start like actually doing stuff. I need to actually work again, because 2 days a week is just not enough...i need to send in my college registration crap...i need to check in to art classes at OCC over the summer...i need to call the Art College at Western...i need to confirm my spring break everything...i need to buy clothes for spring break...i need to buy a new bathing suit....i need to buy a new pair of khakis....i need to memorize and block my forensics piece....i need more hours in a day....i need to stop being lazy....i need to calm down....i need sleep g'night

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