[	mood	|	angry	]
[	music	|	silencio	]

Heh...i put this in my journal the night before the last day of 8th grade. i dunno how i found it but i <3 it.

a memory can be provoked by anything; a sound, a smell. a memory can rip you apart and make you beg for a change. a memory can leave you wanting more of what you've lost, but after the flashback, youre standing there emptyhanded. fighting with yourself, fighting for the past, fighting for a change, fighting for something you cant have. nothing you can do can take you back to the time of a flawless memory. you just have to keep moving forward...hurting yourself by thinking of nothing but the past, nothing but a faded memory of what used to be.

love is an addiction, people want it so they create it. they think they need it. they need somebody to support their ego. if love was a pill theyd be swallowing. if love was a needle theyd be shooting up. they want love in their veins, but little do they know...love is just a hoax.

pink is the image of the perfect little girl. innocent and sweet. growing up perfectly pink in a perfectly pink world. soft and gentle cotton candy pink. part of me is still that little girl, hidden from the black and blue hurts by an irredescent veil. but most of me has had to grow up too quickly, playing real live dress up, wearing a costume i didn't liken and i cant let go of the pink little girl in me

I hope it doesnt all fall apart. In the last four months our friendship has gone from the best i could ask for....to a thing of the past. we have watched it deteriorate and have been too selfish to fix things.

beautiful........Lisa

[	mood	|	sick	]
[	music	|	maroon 5 - this love	]

aww i finally figured out how to use the scanner on the new computerrr :) I finally got the black eyed peas cd....so wonderful. ive wanted it for about...a year. and i have a love obsession with maroon 5. this love....my favorite song this week.

eghhh....i was realy sick this week. :( first time i havent had to fake a fever in years. i was really sad...and then my parents made me "stay home" friday night which relly meant that they were gunna take me on a trip to the mall. everytiem they make me stay home they take me out and buy me stuff...so its all good with me. got a cute little top from abercrombie, i havent shopped there lately but they have tennis shirts! and they have shirts that say stuff about europe, <3...only like 3 1/2 months away!! im so excited to go...ill get to spend time with alysssa :)

ok so lacoste is becoming the new big thing at the kings academy. booo. lacoste is like the love of my life, i think i have one in almost every color, it makes me sad that everyone else likes it now too. ive been an avid collector since like 8th gradeeee, and i liked being the only one who wore it! also. those little lilly purses are making me flaming mad. why does EVERYONE have one all of the sudden? it made me really mad so i went and got a custom cover made for mine so mine would be a lil different than everyones. its a really cute cover all made of ribbon.

kings. ew. i have developed such a hate for some of the girls. so obnoxious. i wanna hit them. heh. theyre all just sooo two faced and cant fess up to the fact that theyre all fake. just get over it, you're fake and no one respects you. whats up with everyone being a whore? its just soo cute when all the girls with boyfriends feel that they have to have every guy wanting them. i cant stand really flirty girls. i mean what is that? cant ANYONE be satisfied with just having their boyfriend liking them? i know i am. any guy who's liked me has been blown off right away. what is leading on besides self centeredness? Oh well. guess i have to get over it cause i just cant seem to find a girl who isnt like that. its like i tell everyone i hate girls like that but then my friends are that way. things are getting hard to deal with.

right now...i feel like this is the only thing i can do to get all my feelings out. cause if i was to tell someone how i felt it would just hurt them...actualy i doubt theyd even understand what im saying because theyre so entwined with their boyfriend. im fucking sick of watching my friend be treated like shit. i hate her boyfriend. i cant even put it into simpler words. its getting hard for me to be friends with her because i have to sit and watch her allow herself to be treated worse than she should be. i expect alot froem my boyfriend....because i deserve nothing less. i dont deserve to be hurt and neither does she. she has lowered her standards to be with him. she likes to pretend eveything is perfect but i nkow she knows she could do better, i mean look who she met her boyfriend from? the biggest slut in the 11th grade. i cant deal with it anymore. he drinks alot. shes never around. in fact, last time i was with her and he was drinking and he called her... he started yelling at me through the phone for no reason. the worst part is....she let him, she just laughed. what have i done to deserve that? ive alwyas been there for her....then again im a strong person, i can stand up to my boyfriend and not worry about him getting mad at me. all i can do is cry, i try to tell her and she doesnt listen. i cant say i know this guy that well but maybe thats because he has NEVER come and hung out with her friends, shes akways with his. of course there's an exception or two, she brought him to a couple parties....i wish she hadnt because all he does is bring her down, she hung out with him the whole time while he looked like he wanted to leave. i feel bad for her. i feel bad that she doesnt see that she can do better....maybe she just chooses not to see that. no one has developed a liking for this guy. my friend works with him....he doesnt say very nice things when hes not around her. she believes everything he says....but she needs to wise up. hes rude to her. shes gorgeous just the way she is. she doesnt need a new sweatshirt or makeup or a hot outfit to make her boyfriend like her. i hope she doesnt feel that way. i love her. ok well....i juts dont want this boy to hurt her. ill hurt him lol....i hope she knows she can do better....and that there's a reason why her friends dont like her boyfriend.

im goin out with my boo tonight :)....first date in a whileeee.

[	mood	|	exhausted	]
[	music	|	maroon 5	]

Valentine's weekend = <3 for me. tommy and lisa back together :). it was a short one week "break up." i loooove him. friday went out with everyone, had to make a video wityh lauren. saturday...beach, saw lauren, :). syd and i got sand all up on us so we left. boulevard. gardens mall....sso much fun, got T the hottest shirt from express. got to wear my newww suprise eye of the needle dress to dinner with tommy! :). pretty dinner. we had mucho fun. sunday went to the big party...zak luke and brian came which made it thissssssss much better. i was so beautiful in my retro dress! today beach foreverrrr with syd and austin, then food, tommy time and tennis, <3.

played tennis everyday last week....lost about 45 pounds....i liked it. school is sooo much work. im running out of time for it.

new york in one month. europe in four. :)!!!!!

life is funnnness
lisa

[	mood	|	hopeful	]
[	music	|	justin timberrrlake	]

So much...so much! Life = always so good. Got a new computer, finally. It's mahvelous. Zak is 17, <3! i love that boy, my bestest friend. Had a suprise party for him saturday night, saw many. I had a good time...saw Casey and fell in love with the fact that he's all about the pink. Just like Tommy, :).

Going back a little while...I suddenly had the urge after dating tommy for a few months that i needed to spend more time with my friendsss. So i did it. We broke up...cause things wouldnt seem to lighten up unless we did that. So you know how that goes...we're pretty much still together but its just easier to hang out with friends...im sure we'll be officially back together soon. hopefully before Valentinesss Day. <3.

So i've been hanging out with randoms lately such as...john. It's fun because we get along so well but at the same time it's horrible because all it does is play with my emotions, and i let it happen. It's like when we hang out those feelings seem to come back....but then i realize that it isn't what i want or need. all i have to do is think about the past to realize he isnt for me.

Ironically enough steph was dating Jon for a while and when they broke up he hooked up with two of her best friends. One of them is the girl who hooked up with my John when we broke up. It made me realize how happy i am to have friends that wouldnt do that. it also made me realize how shallow people are, the phrase "All's fair in love and war" comes to my mind in this situation. It shows that most people will step on anyone to be with the person they want. friendship is a terrible thing to waste, especially on a guy.

tennis is going extremely well. i feel so accomplished :). school is great i <3 my 4.25. i've gotten some of the hottest stuff lately! amazing jeans and this incredible dress from c orrico. its honestly one of the most beautiful things ive ever seen. i cant wait to wear it.

going away this weekend to look at UF. Scary how close it's getting.

i miss going on double dates with syd. and i miss seeing alot of my non kings academy buddies. i miss austin and how things used to be...like when we always got along. :/

alyssa, i hope gardens is awesome! and im hoping you've met mary! hes so fun

[	mood	|	impressed	]
[	music	|	britney.....:)!	]

....plus ive got tommy now.

new years wednesday.....exciting! still now exactly sure what im doing but it wont be dull. austin austin and tommy are coming over tonight <3 i have a cold, :(. i put a new pciture on and im way happpy. got so much hot stuff for christmas, yaay. i hope everyone elses was good, call me.

love

[	mood	|	excited	]
[	music	|	no doubtt	]

exams overrrr, :). ap gives the most impossible exams....i'm starting to get scared about college and where i'm gunna go. everyone's been talking about it and there are some people i cant bare to part with. but i still have a while to figure it alll out.

it seemed like i never got to see tommy the whole month cause we were always so busy with activities. so this break is amazing cause i get to see him allll the time :). were still really busy but doing whatever we can to see eachtoerh, i think i love him. soemtimes i find myself thinking to the future and hes all i see. ive never felt like this and its such a strong feeling that i doubt theres anyone else that could make me feel like this. i get to give him his present tommorow, :). its sooo gorgeous, bright blue lacoste polo, very sexy cologne and other stufff. yesterday the girls and i went out to lunch to exchange gifts, they gave me this hot pink curduroy skirt from benetton that ive wanted forever! but even more than that i was so excited to give them their stuff. ive gotten to see zak lately which i love. hes great.

i hung out with alyssa and zak and casey and all those boys a few weeks ago and realized how much i miss them. i loveeeee my alyssa. tonihgt austin syd tess and i are going to see mona lisa smile! :)

i hear all the girls are hanging out with char! which is awesome cause hes a good guy. one of my favorite friends. ive seen tj some lately, hes just the best, nothing bad to say about that boy.

ugh this break has been so funny. john has been calling like everynight wanting to hang out....tommy is like what the hell! i guess hjohn misses me? but its so weird how when we broke up all i wanted was for him to call me and now that i dont want him to anymore he wont stop! but he went away for like the rest of the break so im way happppeee.

tommy is gunna be away for new years, :(!!! oh well ill just have to do my own thing. im getting so excited about europe that i dont know what to do with myself! its gunna be so beautiful.

ok well thats enough for now, ive got things to do and people to seee. im sooo excited for christmas!!!!!!

mucho <3

[	mood	|	blank	]
[	music	|	nelly furtado	]

i'm begining to think that i've been through it all....well at least i've been ridiculed more than any person at this age should be. i can't think of anything that someone hasn't said to or about me. and i can say without a doubt that i have never deserved close to half of what people have said. i used to think i was over all of it and it didn't hurt to think about anymore but i found i was wrong. not that i'm still hurting inside but my experiences have had a lasting impact on my life. i still think about what i went through a few years ago.....i still wonder why girls gang up on lisa for no reason sometimes...now it's even happening at king's: wonderful. I don't even take it personally anymore, i honestly don't care. I have learned to accept that most girls will do anything and step on anyone to get what they want. most people will talk shit about you behind your back when you dont deserve it. most girls will just come and say hi to you just because they want a closer look at your boyfriend cause he's just so hot. It just makes me sad that some people can be so shallow. not very many people can put themselves in my place right now and because of that...dont comment on this. it's not your place. im writing this cause i need to let my emotions out and writing is the best way to do it. I find it sad that some girls will screw over their friends just for a guy....or just to get a guy to notice them. friends are so valuable....nothing should come between a girl and her friend.

so i have this amazing boyfriend and he has fallen really hard for me...nothing could make him stop liking me which gives me a feeling that i can't describe. sometimes i think i love him. Sometimes people just can't stand to see others happy and they try to sabotage things. maybe i just have an issue with rudeness; i'm not sure....but when girls try to get with my boyfriend and tell him how much they love him i get extremely offended. everyone deserves respect when it comes to their boyfriend and no one should be telling someone elses boyfriend that they like him, it's just not cool....its just rude to try and undermine someone else's relationship. i just dont understand why some people act the way they do. some of the girls at kings have major problems....they act like their still 13 years old. they wont stay out of other girl's business and im just so fed up with it. im a nice person and i an a good friend to anyone who treats me with respect. especially to the peopel at kings. most people at kings know me as the girl that all the boys wanna be friends with and the girl that will listen to your problems.....and also as the girl that wont take shit from anyone. cause once someone has criticized everything there is to criticize about you at another school....by the time you get to the new one you dont have time to listen to people do it again. i feel like ive been through and learned so much that its hard to even have a coneversation with most of the people at school....theyre just too immature. i cant stand people like that, they talked shit about me today because i said that john and i "broek up" when we never officially went out, just dated exclusively...i was like what are we 13?! is it even your business if he was my "boyfriend" or not? i mean i just laugh at things sometimes. i feel like im above it all....these are things we dealt with at msoa! i dont want to act like im in middle school again.

last night i sat in bed and explained to tommy everything that happened in ninth grade. i started to sob...some people can be so cruel. thinking back on it i dont even know how i survived it. as i said dont even try to put yourself in my place because youll never know how it felt. maybe alyssa would cause shes been through it all.....but i doubt anyone else reading this would understand. i just feel like i havent deserved so much of it all...but its all over now. the only thing is...is that i havent ever forgotten any of it...it made me into a whole different person. its hard for me to feel sorry for people...i cant let anyone get away with being mean to me....its just sad that that is how ive become because of it all. after i talked about it with tommy i went to school today. and i sat outside at lunch because i had to tell austin a funny story and i come to find out that inside at the lunch table the topic of conversation was how much some poeple dislike me! im like lunch tables seem to be the scene of many controversies. but the reason for their dislike is so petty and untrue lol...i just cant beleive the things people do. im so dissapointed in the people i call my friends.

i'm just sad. peopel have often forgotten that i have feelings too. theres so much on my mind yet it feels blank...sometimes i dont know how to feel when it has happened so many times it seems routine.

[	mood	|	confused	]
[	music	|	Jason Mraz - you and i	]

i'm burning some Jack Johnson cds so i figured i'd write, i miss writing in here.....i miss using my way cool online journal to vent lol and write down fun memories...:).

Britney's cd came out today.....<3 i got it. still wanna be her.

im so in <3 with tommy...he's great. he's so cute to me, when we were going out for a month he came over before school and gave me this note that was written with sand from the beach that he asked me out at....and i got some flowers, and he writes me notes and tells me im pretty and i like him.

i went out to dinner with syd tonight and had a wonderful time....shes so fun. i get to see zak alot....he had a party a few weeks ago, much <3, i miss going out to his house. austin has a boyfriend, ed. we went on a double date this weekend....he was an hour late. lol but it was fun. elf = love. its so cute. i love peoples randomness...they stop at my house all the time...its good. things keep changing aroudn me but my life seems to be stable. im happy and thats what matters. im sick of listening to the girls at school and their gayness. sometimes i need to get away...i cant wait for the break...i need some laidback time. i ran into eli over the weekend, i felt soo awkward. he was all "we should hang out again" and i was all "RIIIIGHT so you can lock me in a laundry room again?!" i play tennis....its sooo fun. i got tendonitis in my hand though, its sooo painful. i have straight a's and i went and visited UF last weekend, i really hope i can go there. it is beautiful.

this past weekend was dedicated to austin. it was her birthday and we catered to her. :) and ate so much and got so fat. went out with the girls on friday and had a great time...the 6 of us bonded. we volunteeered at a soup kitchen hehhe...beach. out on the double date, i saw star. shes cuteeee. everyone stopped over sunday....austin, tommy, zak, curt, jed. i love them all. good people. tommy and zak get along really well.

My new cds: coldplay....outkast...mxpx...something corporate....britney....jack johnson....jason mraz...so pretty

oh yeah....i love you, alyssa. things can only get better, :). i cant wait for europeeeee!

im a little sad....i just said something stupid to T. :( boo for lisa.
Lis

[	mood	|	ecstatic	]
[	music	|	dmb - crush	]

well hellllo! life is absolutely amazing....:) the past month has been really good. full of excitement lol....all my friends have boyfriends, its so fun. we all go out every weekend...good times. mary is back from military school, <3 austin and i are gunna go visit him tomorow. So i have a boyfriend now, :). his name is tommy. i absolutely love him....i think i mentioned him last time i wrote in here...hes great. weve been together i guess since like the begining of september, and things were like "official" as of about a week ago. The girls at kigns are all really mad about it lol, they all loveee him. hes soo nice and i get to see him alot which is good....hes an amazing baseball player, ive been gonig to his games alot...and i go to chruch with him sometimes, its good. ah i cant say enough about him...

this past weekend....syd austin and i went out to dinner in our high heels and jeans looking hot as ever....then to try on beautiful dresses at bcbg. the girls came over along with curt and jed and we watched american history x. the girls night turned coed. then friday we went to breakfast then to flagpole with luaren steph syd and austin and then some vintage shopping and i got a dress and a vintage dior scarf and lilly dress, <3. then tommy came over for dinner, so cute....my parents lovee him. then some chicago! hehehe we just chilled...ive liked doing that lately on the weekends cause the week is so insane. sautrday austin and i went to la playa then i went out to eat with t and to his little bros baseball game...he has the cutest brothers ever...then to austins to get ready for the party....went to laurens then to fritz and jennies party, i met austins new love! hes nice...it was alright. slept at laurens with steph and austin, girl talk foreverrr, i miss nights like that. sunday i got to go see my uncles new yacht....its 100 feet long, it amazes me, sooo beautiful! syd came over...

monday after achool i went to tommys game :)...he bbrought me home, i love being around him. i cant explain it.

next weekend....halloween horror nights! yayyy! soo excited. i miss zakkkk i miss not talking to him everyday :(....oh well hes still like my bestest friend though. i went to his band practice the other day, it was fun.

church tomorow with lo and the girls, <3. im sooo excited for the cruise! alyssa, callll me and well hang out. and kate and carynn, call me babays! we gotta hang out this weekend, maybe beach?

[	mood	|	confused	]
[	music	|	MXPX	]

woww! i havent written in here in sooo long. over a month. i keep forgetting. things are so good. im in all these realllllly hard classes....ap history (the hardest class at my school) ap english pre calc chem....etc. so i spend alot of time doin homework for that....i still manage to do SOMETHING after school everyday, whether it be the beach or shoppin..i see my friends so much. kate and carynn came over last week...i loveee them! were gunna go to teh benjamin game together :). i get to see my little zakary all the time...i met his friend daniel and went dancing with them one night...i loveeeed it. ive goen to the beach so much lately. made alot of new clothes...ive graduated from just making halters to all this new stuff...its so hot. i wanna sell it. so get this, last nigth i went to see dashboard and mxpx with john john steph austin maya amanda syd brian zak and some more people...and when we got down there it was sold out so this lady walks up to me and goes omg i loveee your shirt! did you make it?! and im like yes i did...(it was a shirt i turned into a one sleeve thing with ribbon laced up the back) and shes like how and stuff so i tell her then i go but i got all dressed up and dont have a ticket! she goes...how manyt do you need?! i say as many as i can get! and she winds up working at 94.9 zeta and gives me 3 free tickets! :). the concert was amazing. ive been waiting to see mxpx for a few years...and they were great. dashboard rockeddd...john was pissin me off tryin to flirt or whatever.

ok so i like this boy...hes the hottest boy at kings by farrr! his name is tommy....all the girls chase after him lol. but he likes me...:). and i like him and things are going really well. im happy.

life has been sooo crazy, i love it. ive been hanging uot with sydney soo much lately. shes aweosme! every weekend is better than the last....this weekend people caame to my house in the middle of the night and wrote funny stuff alll over my windows of my room and my car...i loved it. it was with those special markers so it came right off but it was great. people have been doin it like every weekend and it just gets funnier. whoever it is keeps doing it to mine and vics house. weve figured out who it is and were taking revenge this weekend!!! one weekend we went to evans while he was out of town and took his kayak and went kayaking in the lake behind my house late at night...then we had a barbeque on his grill....it was yummy.

cruise to europe this summmer! with zak austin mariella alyssa laura and maybe tess....i cant wait!

k ill try to update more....cause i lik to keep up with this thing...i miss everyoneee, gimme a call!

[	mood	|	anxious	]
[	music	|	dashboard	]

AH! i wish i could remember what i did last week. Maybe I'll remember...i'll try at least. Last monday night i went and saw tomb raider with evan lance joe austin and john i think...i love the boys so so sooooo much! we left early cause it SUCKED and went to dennys! tuesday hung out with lo...went shopping at girls club with her...dont remmber what i did that night. wednesday went to church with everyone then went to steak and shake with amnada and steph afterwards...slpet at austins. thursday went to the beach then evan called and wanted to chill at the movie theater so i had him joe and lance over...we watched O but we couldnt pay attention so we put in a classsic, Twister! then tj and the rest of the band randomly stopped by. friday night i had to babysit for the cutest kids in palm beach...i want to move there. palm beach is like my little haven. saturday i went to the beach then did school work then i was gunna go to the marlins game with the boys but we saw american wedding instead. me joe evan and mary. gotta <3 them. then i went adn slept over at zakssss house! i love him! i miss him sooooo!!! we had great time, went out with luke to get food and stuff and went back and had a baking party at zaks :). woek up sunday and went to the beach with austin but it was shitty out so we came here and chillled with our daily slurpeeee. then at night we went to level 2 with everyone...jenny and that crew came adn so did mary john joe john kolar and james....then all the other girls came. i looked hot. lol it was all on purpose to make him mad :). im so gay. i wish i didnt still liek him...it was sooo hot cause the air broke so after the guys and me and austin went back to her house and ran around nakeddd and then went swimming...i love it. we have so much fun...things got cute, then they left. me and austin woke up monday for beach time. that ngiht john joe evan lance and austin came over and we watched ferris bueller!!!!! :)! we loved it. then me and john tried to make cds while everyone watcched britney in concert...they boys are in loveee with her! so cute. austin slept over went to the beach tuesday and then i got my haircut all short. lovin it. then i met john evan adn joe at lollapalooza just in time for INCUBUS!!!!! i love them so so so much...it was defnitely worth 50 dollas to see them. johnn and me got mad muddy, we looked sexy. haha...ran into leor and sam, fun kids. big showers...good times. audioslave and janes addiction did quite well. we left early and went to joes house...john stole my car...drove it to dennys whiel i got to go in the jeep with no doors with joe...it was wonderful..i love that jeep! lance and steele met us at dennys. i was wearing random baskeyball shorts and the sweatshirt john won for me...my other clothes got dirty. took evan home...had funny conversations. went to the beach wednsday ran into syd and jo with austin. went out to dinner with tori and our dads for bonding time hehehe. i loveeeee her! we watched brit in concert again! thrsday tried to go to the beach but a tornado came :(. picked up mommy at the train station caseu she was in orlando all week. she got me all cute volcom shit. stickers and posters. very nice of her. went to tess house with austin. jenny steph amanda joe lance steele john charles jay evan and other people came and we ate...watched some stufff and left. things got really cute at the end and i was realllly confused. but oh well. slept at austins...went to singer island yesterday to meet at hte beach and i got pulled over!!!!! it was so scary. i was only going 35 in a 25 so it sucked. i got a warning. cop was mean. :(. it rained so we went to marys house and everyone was there. went to pizza hut. i said something that made HIM really upset at meeee. oops. camehome. baked a cake. went to see SWAT with joe evan steele jenny and amanda....i loved it. they all did. it was way good. colin farrell...lookin nice.

tonight is movie night at mah house...my movie theater just rocks. last night of summer....poo. tmoorow night were havin the last night dinner. :(. ill miss summer. i miss everyone!!! i miss layssaa.

weird. today i was cleaning stuff adn i found the christmas present for shannon. i never got a chance to give it to her i guess.....funny how things change...

Lisa.

[	mood	|	contemplative	]
[	music	|	ataris, <3	]

I'll try to start where i left off...so i went to see justin and christina with asutin. it was soo fun! i loved it. got some stripped undies, :). came home, austin slept over, went to the mall thursday then had to go eat at olive garden with the whole family...then came home and went to a party in palm beach with charles and austin, met alot of cool peopleeee. friday night alyssa came over and we went to see reeeeeel big fish! it was such an awesome concert...we had such a good time. zak and jp came. ran like 34365 errands on saturday, then had to go to lo's grandmas funeral, :(. then came home and packed. zak jp luke and weston came over and we watched blue crush in the movie theater, <3. austin and alyssa came over when we were done. alyssa slept over and we woke up sunday and went down to miami for the cruiseeeeee!!!! we had to go out to eat at bayside with this really annoying boy...ick. so we get on the cruise and eat and shittt. we got into the club everynight and these gross mexicans bought us drinks the first night, eww pepe!! they really freaked us out...met alot of boys....alot of foreign kids like juanito!!! he was the coolest kid EVER, he didnt understand any english. i loved him. the second night we met these boys and alyssa loved one of them so we hugn out with them, nice kids. i fell in lvoeeeeee with the cutest boy ever, dusty and he so liked me too, lol. we hugn out for a while tehn he had to go chill wit his sister and never came bacik! :( next time i saw him he had a new girlfriend!!! i was so mad. we went to haiti the next day...it smelled so bad! but we met some cowboys that day and chilled with them the whole night. had dance parties in our room. jamaica was the next day, i <3 jamaica sooo much! this guy winston drove us around all day and we saw so much, it was cute. that ngiht we hung out with jason and steve and otehr peopel i think...i dont really remember. caymans was the next day and we rented this huge bike tricycle thing that rode aorund in the water! it was sooooo cool!!! we hung out with the cowboys again that night and danced around. MEXICO WAS FRIDAYYY! it was sooo cool...we got all this roxy stuff for cheap, then we ate at the best bar ever. it was insane. carlos and charlies. tehy put alcohol in everyones drinks even if you didnt ask for it! my parents and me and alyssa were all drunk, it was a weird experience seeing my parents drunk...my dad was doing the funniest stuff ever!!! i loved it. that night we almosr got in trouble for our ids...oops. so it wasnt a very good night...went to bed early at like 2. saturday was the last day, :(. we went to the pool all day...layed out. had the best night!! drank mucho...partied it up....i hung out with rob alll ngiht, we didnt go to sleep. it was way fun. i lost alyssa :(. but i found her at 6 in the morining. yayyy. we had the best time!!! i had sooo much fun with alyssa! she has the cutest haircut... i want it! we got along good amd talked sooo much it was such a slumber party everynight hehehe. i wanna go on another cruise soo bad now! but im happy to be home. sunday we had to get off the boat at like 7am so we didnt get any sleep...we got back to my house and slept til 4. hehehe. but oh yeah, my sis had the most annyoing friend with her...we all got sooo annoyed. then i went to level 2 with everyone last night.....austin john mary james joseph morgan fritz lauren kelly lindi maryanne...and others...jenny and her crew showed uppppp. john was being really random, dancing with me and telling me he missed me when i was gone...i was like WHAAT?! oh well. we danced with everyone. i saw sooo many people i knew...these cute girls i met at a palm beach party. tehn i came home and found out john hooked up with a girl, which is fine cause hes not mine..but it was with one of my good friends...she hooks up with everyone...im really mad at her, cause she flipped out when antoher one of our friends hooked up with her ex...so im not sure what to do about it...ugh. i have to read all day today for school, :(.

i missed eveyoneee. i think im goin out with charles zak and people tonight...should be fun, :).

[	mood	|	good	]
[	music	|	eagles - victim of love	]

johnny depp is one my the best actors around, and way hot too. he's gorgeous in pirates of the caribbean. he picks the best movies to be in....Blow is definitely the movie that made me into such a big johnny fan. So okay...last wednesday night me austin and mary went to see pirates of the caribbean...it made me so happy. such a great movie. we all rocked awesome hats that night. i slept at austins and thursday went up to the beach at singer island and met up with everyone. tess, mariella, micah, john., mary, and jed. chilled in the pool, nakeddd swimmin in the ocean, chicken fights, beached whales, goooood times. john tried to be all flirty and threw me around in the ocean, ick. lol...hes a good kid, i wish things didn't end up like they did. we chilled at 7-11, yum. i go there EVERYDAY. me tess and austin went back to austins around 5ish and danced around. zak and austin came over at night and we chilled and watched old school in my movie theater, :). old school is sooooo funny. watch it. friday i chilled. had to get a physical, :(. i dont like going to the doctor. then i had to get my whole schedule changed around. so i went to school. foudn out i can wear sneakers to school this year so i had to go cancel my doc martens....it was just a long day...then i went to zaks for brendans bday. alot of people came...i love them. it was way fun. me and zak ventured to 7-11 and cruised the acreage before everyone got there. then bren came and the party started...good cake. i slept there....woke up in the morning and had cake and hotdogs for breakfast....i guess thats what boys usually do at sleepovers lol. no one seemed interested in reaaal breakfast food. i met austin at the beach...fun. then i went out to eat at the japanese steakhouse with tori!!! yum. i love my tori. then i went to the mall to get sneakers for school, :). green and yellow sauconys....navy and pink pumas.....theyre all so hot. sunday me and austin went to boulevard and said hey to the boys...then to juno...saw courtney. it was a gorgeous day. then i wnet home and got ready for the night, we went to the thing at level 2 again. everyone from kings was there. john called and said he wanted to come and so i was like sureeeee and i told him it ended at 1 cause i thought it did...so we go to level 2 with everyone and we dance around and at like 1030 im like hmm wheres john mary james and joseph???? so i ask this lady if it still ends at 1 and shes like NOO the cops got mad so it ends at 11 so im like oh shit the boys are gunna kill me....so i call them and theyre like were here so i had to be like umm sorry but its like over. so that wasnt pretty. at 11 when i left they were waiting outside to yell at me, oops. i felt so bad...but oh well it wasnt my fault. and they got over it. but john called me a bitch so i was a little pissed. overall the night was AWESOME. i loved being with the kings crew. monday i stayed home and did a few errands. then i went to tess' house and we met up with everyone at ale house...evan, joseph, lance, john, austin, jenny, amanda, brittany, jason, and this kid carlos....most of us decided to go see pirates of the caribean...me tess and austin wanted to see it again...and the boys wanted to see it. it was even better the second time! :). went back to tess' aorund 12 and john and evan came over...evan left and tess fell asleep. so me and john decided we needed to sit down and finally talk about everything that happened. we talkd til 3. i feel so good about everything now. we're friends and thats chill. im really happy about ecverything. hes such a cool guy...one of my favorite people at kings by far. im just happy things arent really "weird" now. :). im happy. it was a good conversation. he left at 3 or something...i slept. woke up today and went to palm beach with tess...it was way too hot. then i brought my car to the shop. almost got a new louis but then i didnt. lol. tonight i think im just gunna stay home.....it should be nice. zak will probaly come over...dunno yet.

TOMOROW NIGHT IM GOIN TO SEE JUSTIN TIMBERLAKEEEEE! jealous?? hhehee. it should be aweosme. im excited.

sunday is the cruiseeeee with alyssa! sooo happy about that.

Lisaaa

[	mood	|	discontent	]
[	music	|	steve miller band	]

Last Wednesday I got scik. :(. I had to awaken at 4am to go to the airport...got there....took a plane to jacksonville and felt horrible. i got a bad cold, :(. it was so miserable. then we went to amelia island, <3. i am in love with that place. it was a shitty day and my friends werent in town yet so i napped. then went out to dinner late and i got something in my eye. i spent the majority of the night crying. lol. woke up thursday feeling much better. went to the ebach then shopping. then we went out to dinner with the whole crew! i loved seeing my fellow lawyer children. theyre all going into UF next year or are already there. its awesome cause ill have friends when i go there, if i get in that is. we chilled in the hospitality suite and everyone drank and stuff except me cause im scared ill be sick again. then we xhilled at the beach club til late and met some friends. good times. friday morning i awoke to a very funny message from john. he called to tell me this random thing...he called for no apparent reason. it was hilarious. he had no idea what to say it was the longest message ever though. i still <3 him. its so dumb. i just want to get over it. anways...i went to the beach with lizzy alllll day and tehn we went out to dinner again and we all chilled and watched fireworks. i didnt even try to meet any boys...it was weird. we chilled at the beach club again. saturday woek up and went to the beach and pool alllll day with everyone then to dinner at ngiht. then chilled with everyone til late and went to sleep. i got tan...sunday we came home....the whole trip all these guys kept saying weird stuff to my parents about me, they would say like how pretty i am and sutff and i was just weirded out. got home sunday and went to that thing at level 2 with austin...it was actually alot of fun! we went with alot of girls...kelly, jennie, andrea, lindi, morgan, natalieeee!, and like 10 other ones but i cant remember who, lol.....there was only one cute boy there. and i danced wit himmmmm, wwwooooooo! he was the only person i actually danced with, everyone else was gross. monday had to go out to lunch with my fam and stuff for my moms bday...then i took my sis and my cousin to the mall...then came home and went out to dinner with my dad and mom adn sis for the bday againnn and then home. tuesday i had to run errands alll day and get a new backpack and shittttt. i got my schedule in the mail already, its all messed up. how gay. then i went to ausitns and we chilled in the poool! yipppy. then i met my mom at the mercedes place to look at a new car for her...then austin came overand we met chalres and saw legally blonde! it was way hilarious but sooo dumb. i loved it though. slept at austins. woke up today and went to the beach with zak carynn and her cousin and friend. it was fun! we were there alll day! i loved it. ate at hamburger heaven, mmm. then there was this guy pedro...he was HUGE!!!!! he kept talknig to us and saying weird petaphile things. hehee, now im home and makin plans for the night. pirates of the caribean is out!!!!!! IM SOOOOO EXCITED! :) im definitely gonig to see it.

i feel so antisocial...i dont call people anymore. its not a good thing at all!

[	mood	|	happy	]
[	music	|	britney - what its like to be me	]

hmmmm i dont rememebr what ive done lately! ive just been chillin...hmm lets see last wednesday me carynn and kate went to palm beachhh then went to 711!!!!!! yay! then i got my haricut shorter :). i think its way cool. tehn went to church with austin mary lo tori and ram, good times! then we went to tcby! the besttt. then to lo's house and like 30 people came over there and we chillled like old school year times. hot tub was very nice, i want one! me and lo realized how way cool our clothes are. hehhee...then i went back to austins and slept there. woke up thursday and i have noo idea what i did, i have totally forgotten lol...at night me and austin went to marys house then we went over to jakes and everyone was tehre again. it was funnn, prank phone calls, funny. went home...friday katie tj zak and luke came over and we went to lake wroth ebach, it was gross...but fun, i loev them! then came home and went out with the girls once again, :). kate carynn me lo tori ram and katherine had a great time and we saw charlies angels!!! it was funny. then we went and danced with these people and ran into nat alex and britt. then zak brendan abd luke came. went home. saturday went to palm beach with lauren and mariella then to the palm beach mall...then chileld here. then went to cr chicks with austin and them, then we all went to ale house and met up with averyone.....john was there, it was the first time iev seen him since everything went down, we said hi, thats it. lol. then we went back to laurens and started the girls night, went on a mad hunt for cookie dough at 1150. went to about five different places and finally got some at albertsons! prank phone called all the boys. good times. stayed up all night having girl talk, boys wanted to come over, hell no! went in the jacuzzi nakeddddd. fun fun fun. got up sunday morning and went home to find zak in my living room. lol..hes sooo cool, we chilled. then he left and i slept, then he came back and we went to see dumb and dumberer then to cheesecake, fun times. monday went to charles' house and the wholecrew was there...lauren, mariella, john, micah, joe, lance, steele, tess and thats about it. me and john had like a 20 mintue comversation and became friends. then i left to go surfing with zak luke tj and jp. awesome times with those boys! then came home and austin, charles and steele came over...then we went to get a movie then to jeds house. all the guys were there...they all decided they wanted to come over and watch the movie. cool. so lance evan steele charles john zak and jed came over...we watched some of SEVEN. i didnt catch most of it. i had an awesome time with the boys, theyre hilarious. my parents wigged out so i made some of them go home....but charles and steele satyed til 1 and we had fun. i love them. woek up today and austin went home. went to palm beach with laura, then packed all day. im feelin sick. im leavin for amelia island tomorow!!!!!!!! im sooooooo excited! ill be back sunday! ill miss you!

mucho <3.

[	mood	|	sad	]
[	music	|	black eyed peas	]

hmm...last few days have been aweosme, but i've been feeling really down about john. But I hung out with soo many fun people! saturday - went bowling with kate carynn and austin! we had the best time ever! laser bowling rules my world, we all are terrible bowlers! it was so good to just be with the girls....we had the bestest time and laughed sooo hard. we went to steak and shake afterwards, we were so spotaneous! we met a girl named kate, stalked a kid named daryll pepper his friends call him schonz! "you know what they say, the smaller the pepper the bigger the spice!" lol...we almost got kicked out...then we went to cityplace for a minute...then home. sunday morning went to juno with kate and carynn and we stopped at publix and then boulevard so they could go see what john looekd like...then we went to the beach and met austin there, saw grahm, that kid is HOTT. then we stopped at charles house to say hey...then to subway, then home. sunday night ee kate carynn and jessi went to outback with char then to level 2 and met up with david leor sam and some other people. it sucked so we went to jakes house...saw some people, katie, tj, danny, david...etc etc. came home. got an interesting phone call, made me wonder about stuff. woke up monday prety happy...went to publix with mommy! i love publix. was gunna go to dannys but then realized i dont want to lead the kid on. went to rays with tess and austin. saw my katay!!! and misss sara tooo! and vanessa was there, im soo happy for her and tj. i saw so i say goodbye play, they did a very nice job. i really like the kids in that band. they're nice. saw casey and brendan! i miss those two kids so much, theyer soo sweet. im happy me and sara are coool now, shes so fun! i got home and talked to mary for a long time...it seems that everyones getting mad at me from kings for something i didnt do so i had to tell everyone they were wrong...and now john supposedly like ahtes me. oh well i guess....hes bein dick. today went to palm beach with austin then mall with mamasita. got cute stuff from sisley. then tj came over for a bit...he needed some gum lol, he was on his way to vanessas :). tomorow i wanna go to the beach! call me if you wanna go! carynn and kate are hopefully going, whoop! :)

i want to feel better...sad is bad. i hate how petty my problems are comapred to some people...i love you, casey and you can call me anytime for anything.

[	mood	|	crushed	]
[	music	|	Rufio.	]

DAMN. I'm so shocked. Things were so amazing, in the past couple months I've been the happiest i've been in a realllllly long time. I have alotta good friends, mucho people lookin out for me...and a boy to keep me company. Well, as of last night there is no boy anymore...no more johnny. I just want to sit on my bed and cry....but I gotta be strong about it, you know? I can't let it bring me down although it's almost impossible for it not to. But everything happens for a reason so I guess he just wasn't right for me and I for him. Damn, I've never been "dumped" before...last night was the first time I got to experience what the "dumpee" feels. It was horrid. Whatever...all I asked was not to get fucked over and that's exactly what he did. I just had this idea in my head that he is such an amazing and nice guy and he has no bad intentions but in the end maybe he did. This was just so unexpected...I was so happy he was back from Cali and that I go to see him and then he slaps me with this shit. I just didn't need to get hurt right now. I mean, Zak is gone at camp...all my friends work all the time...It seems like I have no one to fall back on or no one to sit there and be like he's an asshole, let's hang out to get yourt mind off him.

I'm just sad now.

But anyways...the last few days were fun. Thursday night had to go out to dinner with the fam, then headed over to the BOWLING ALLEY! with alotta kids....Steph, Amanda, Jon K, Carlos, James, Austin, Tess, Steve ?...and that's about all...Tess spent the night...Went to the beach with Steph and Tess Friday mornin and then Tess and I went out to lunch at Cheesecake with Charles! He's a nice kid. Came home and chilled...Talekd to John for a long time...he invited me to go out with everyone...I was SO excited to see him, I found the cutest outfit I could and put effort into looking nice and everything...I went and met John, Steph, Charles, Amanda, Asutin, Steele, Jon, James, Evan, and Mary at the pool hall...then we went and saw too fast too furious. Paul Walker has an absolutely gorgeous face...just wow. John was bein weird in the movie so I had Austin ask Mary what was up and he told her that John was gunna break things off. I was stunned. It pissed the hell outta me that everyone already knew he was gunna do it cause he told them before i got to the pool hall and that he had to sit through the whole night and plan it out then spring it on me at the last possible minute. He just fucked me over. Maybe I just shouldn't have jumped into things with him cause I was still scared cause of what happened with Brian. I just really didn't expect this stuff from John. Then he did the whole "I still wanna be friends" speech and I was just liek "UHH you didn't even call me that much when we were dating what the hell makes me think you'll actually call me when we're just friends?! You calling me is the last thing I'm expecting." I was just a wreck...I just wanna know what happened in Cali...cause you can't just leave for a week and suddenly decide you don't like someone for no reason. Maybe something else happened....Oh well, I just had to get everything out and writing it seemed like the best way possible. I'll be here if anyone wants to call me and hang out...

I'm hangin out with Kate and Carynn tonight!! yay! i love them. they'll keep things upbeat and happy :)

Bye...

[	mood	|	recumbent	]
[	music	|	where is the love ............. woohoooo jt!	]

yoooo! this is austin writing lisa's journal for her. she was just kinda sittin in her chair pondering on what to write about and i told her to move and let me write it for her. Last night .... big time bull shit was pulled by an asshole named john.He is such a snowman god it is called sunlight !!!! but what can else can i say about that. PUSSY !!!!!!!!!!!! thats about it sooo dont ever date him for you 411. Lisa is back on the market so grab her fast. lisa's input - before i disappear ! Saw 2 fast 2 furious once again. God paul is beautful! tyrese is my best friend i love how all he does is eat eat eat! i love food too much. i went to john g'ssssssssssss for breakfast and ate pancakes yummmmmm !!! the other night was fun too when a bunch of us went bowling. We broke the bumper like 10 times. It has now been scared for life. oh and bowling shoes are hott( add in by lisa . I love how boys throw bowling balls at ceilings. fun times. Lisa's little sister went to camp and had her first two boyfriends ever. what a little pimp. Well tonight i think im going bowling again . trying to get lisa over john as fast as possible. I just dont like his excuse for doing what he did. What the hell happened in california??? there is something he is hiding .... ahhh he needs to come out of the closet..... OH i forgot we met the coolest kid .... charles.he is related to lily pulitzer !!!!! lisa needs to date him. he is her dream guy ...he wears lily pants and flips the collar ..... she just doesn't know he is her dream guy yet. well its raining so im off to run in the rain with lulu( lisa bowling name hahaa ) ..... austins monthly update !!!!!

[	mood	|	confused	]
[	music	|	red hot chilli peppersssss - suck my KISSS	]

John comes back from Cali today, :). I can't wait to see him! Life has been busy and happy. Seen alot of "old" friends lately...well they aren't old but they're just the people I feel like I haven't seen in foreverrrrr. Went to the keys last week with Austin, got pretty black. It felt nice to stay otuside in my bikinissss all day. Key Largo has absolutely no nightlife. It was so so boring! but we managed. Got back and had to go to my third funeral so far this summmer, :(. first eric, from my school. Then my aunt Grace...then my mom's friend/my friend's mom died in a car accident. it was devastating to everyone there, it made me feel horrible. that was monday and i hung out with zakkk, went to the mall, then to worth ave! :). then austin and i went to tj's...met nick, he's so so cute! it was so good to see my tj...james was there, he's sweeet. went to tcby!!! then back to tj's just chilled and ate, katie came! i was so so happy to see her! then slept at asutins....headed to juno tuesday with austin katie tj and nick...fun. then austin tess and me went to dance and 711, whoopwhoop! watched a retarded movie for school..slept. wednesday! woohooooo....had to go to the doctors...zak and jb came over, went to visit austin babysitting, me and zak adventured to publix...then to bens house for the big shindig...awesome night. got there 9ish...everyone was there...ben, eli, catie, lindsay, vanessa, britt, tess, steele, charles!, zak, austin, tj, ben, the rest of his band buddies...etc, more suncoast people. everyone was the drunkest ive ever seen them...everyone seemed to be hooking up. i spent alot of my night running from eli...hehe. hes insane when he's drunk. little ben is awesome! he's such a little joker, teasing me...i was getting so confused! charles is our new best friend! he wears his collar flipped up, way cool. tj and me bonded, but not very much. lauren laura brooks and me made this vodka thing out of a medical thing...it got in my eye and i was attacked by a boy. not a good thing. i got boxers ripped off me so i sat on the couch in my hot pink undies...i became emotional and started to cry cause i missed john, it mustve been hilarious watching that. i had a good time. woke up this morning really sick...puked about three times...yuck. i still feel yucky. went out to lunch with austin lauren mariella and tess then my mom wigged out and made me come home while everyone went to charles'! :( i wanted to go! dunno what im doin tonight, i think the parents are making me stay home, boo. :(. oh well, maybe ill have people over....or see john!

call me if you wanna hang outtttt!

[	mood	|	cheerful	]
[	music	|	jt!	]

aaaaah! i havent been online in soo long. my computers broken so im on austins....hmm, so much has happened. im dating johnny....he's great. i like dating, cause theres no boyfriend/girlfriend pressure. its all laidback and nice. summer is amazing, the movie theater at hte house is almost done so im happy. ive been chillin at the beach....surfin. :) leavin tomorow for tampa, boo. then wednsay i leave for key largo with austin!!! yay!!! went to see dashboard and beck with curt, zak, john, mary, and evan, missed seein dashboard cause we had to deal with the cops (long story)...it was an amazing show nevertheless. then i hadto go to this kids funeral with evan and john and austin and alotta other people on monday moring cause this kid in ourgrade died thursday from an overdoes....it was really sad. then chilli peppers!!! it was the best show ever. john, evan, joseph, me and austin...just chillin. i had a goood time

dinner with everyone tonight, then a movie :). good times. call me if you wanna chill!!!