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Below are the 8 most recent journal entries recorded in
Shane's LiveJournal:
| Sunday, July 29th, 2001 | |
| 1:50 am | shouldnt i be really happy right now ok say i wake up all stoked today cause its my bday...i should be right so i start talkin to karin about sXe and the scene and stuff which apparently she is over and she says there no way shes gonna be true till death and that i cant say i will either and of course this ensued arguement to make a long story short it ended with fuck you go cry me a river, and thats not something you hear from karin so of course i start to cry and i didnt realize why until a little later... I LIKE KARIN theres no gettin around it i do! and i know what your all thinkin i broke up with andrea to be with karin its totally not like that cuz i just admmited to myself i liked her so yeah she came to my party and kinda apologized but i dont think she realisez how much that hurt me...now i just realize why. i tried to make andrea comfortable but she didnt seem very comfortable but i tried the mass majority of my friends were there and that was awsome they meen more than the world to me so yeah i bassically told karin how i feel via AIM but ummm yeah now were not really talkin i know i should feel great right now but i feel horrible i dunno ill figure this stuff out. i know for a fact that me and her would never see the light of day |
| Friday, July 27th, 2001 | |
| 1:30 pm | girlz are way confusing yo! so ummmm yeah. Yesterday i had quite a long coversation with angelina in which she said she found some stuff out about my personal life and i have a feeling she was dissapointed...she said she thought i was more innocent then that...anywayz she said she stumbled upon this information and said she couldnt tell anything or "they" would be pissed...so great i got to strangers saying who knows what via the internet. storys can easily be twisted around!!! so yeah we kept on talking and i was kinda pissed but i realized she had done nuthin wrong so i got over it. See she has been goin out with this guy ryan (whos a totally rad kid) for quite a while now and they are in love...but theyre on a "break" right now due to them not seeing eachother very often...but she for sure still loves him...then later we both kinda reveiled that we had some slight feelings toward eachother...then i just said there was absoloutely no way im getting in between love because ryans her boy ya know...so yeah at the end of the conversation i just told her to always be completely honest with the way she feels and ill do the same...soo...yeah Current Mood:  confusedCurrent Music: my stuffy nose |
| Thursday, July 26th, 2001 | |
| 10:59 pm | yay 4 me First Name: Shane Nicknames: shaner Gender: boy toy Natural Hair Color: blondish / brown Hair Color Currently: black. Eye Color At Birth: green Eye Color Currently: green Do you have a pic? somewhere Do you have a webpage? nope Height Currently: 5'11 Glasses/Contacts: both Zodiac Sign: leao Siblings: younger half bro G P A : haha oh man... College Plans: beauty school baby Planned College Major: cutting your mamas hair Who Can You Usually Be Found With:oc nerd crew Do you have a pager: nope Are You Center Of Attention Or Wallflower: both What Type Automobile Do You Drive: haha legally? Who Do You Know Personally That Has The Best Car: rryan the shrimps car Are You Timely Or Always Late: im on time Would You Rather Be With Friends Or On A Date: welll my date better be my friend Where Is The Best Hangout: main street and koos Do You Have A Job: nope im lazy Do You Like Being Around People: sometimes Who Is Your Role Model: none Do you have any piercings? no...im workin on it though What Are Your Pet Peeves: ignorant people and racist people Describe yourself in words: nerd! hopeless romantic Have You Ever Been In Love: not sure Have You Ever Liked Someone You Had No Chance With?: yah it sux Have You Ever Cried over The Opposite Sex: yup Do You Have A "Type" Of Person You Always Go After?: emo girlz or just girlz with lots of compassion for what they believe in Ever want to get revenge on someone because they hurt you: yeah im sure we all get that way Ever Been Truly "In-Love": no i dont think so anymore Rather Be Dumper Or Dumped: dumper. well ive never been dumped Most annoying thing in the world: ignorance Hottest female- drew barrymore or the chick from fight club Hottest male: james hart hehehe. Rather Have A Relationship Or A "Hookup": relationship. for sure. Want Someone You Don't Have Right Now: not sure im really confused in that department Ever Liked Your Best Guy/Girl Friend: yeah Are You Lonely Right Now: nope Ever Afraid You'll Never Get Married: im afraid ill gett married then screw it up Do You Want To Get Married: for sure Do You Want Kids: one perhaps two What Is Your Favorite Part Of Your Physical Being: ummmmm...my guns What Is Your Favorite Part Of Your Emotional Being: i can listen to people Are You Happy With You: yes. Are You Happy With Your Life: i wish i was tuffer What's your favorite type of ice? vannila ice What's your favorite zoo exhibit? i love penguins does that count Who's your favorite Seseme Street Character? elmo Who's better: Disney or Warner Bros? DISNEY! What makes you laugh?: funny stuff What's your favorite Quote: VEGAN POWER! What's your favorite Room In house: my room What's your favorite Girl's Names: hehe i dont have a favorite girl i luv them all What's your favorite Guys Names: randy What's your favorite Ice cream: the vegan kind Who's your favorite Person to talk to about your problems: randy,karin,jess What's your favorite Type of music: hardcore/emo/metal/grindcore.. anything What's your favorite Magazine: no comment What's your favorite Movie: romeo and juliet,fight club,clockwork orange the usual What's your favorite Beverage-dr. pepper What's your favorite Candy: red vines What's your favorite Gum: juicy fruit What's your favorite Sport To Play: vollyball What's your favorite Sport To Watch: golf hehe What's your favorite Subject In School: drama What's your favorite Time of Day: night What's your favorite Numbers: 777 What's your favorite Salad Dressing: italian What's your favorite Blanket/Stuffed Animal: penguins!!! any of them What's your favorite Quote From A Movie: oh man dont get me started with romeo and juliet What's your favorite Day Of The Week: friday What's your favorite Color: black/baby blue What's your favorite TV Show: blind date What's your favorite Flower: dead rose What's your favorite Pair Of Jeans: my anchor blues hehe im a dork i know What's your favorite Fast Food Place: del taco for sure. What's your favorite Game: spin the bottle Who's your favorite Teacher: dont know Your favorite Love Song: nerdy by poison the well What's your favorite Month: december.. july What's your favorite Season: i like winter What's your favorite Vacation Spot: laughlin Who's your favorite Person To Give Advice To: im here for all my friends.. Who's your favorite Person To Get Advice From: karin/randy/jess What's your favorite Piece Of Clothing: my shoes all of them Do you make fun of people who sing in the car? no way. Is there ever a reason to lie? haha probably. When did you last cry: i cant cry anymore Do you like your handwriting? no Have you ever been out of the country you live in ; mexico. hehehe Have you ever been toilet papering? umm duh Who are you jealous of? anyone with cooler hair then me What is the # 1 priority in your life? bieng truw to myself and everyone around me What is your favorite lunch meat? vegan ham Do you have any bad habits? for sure. What store would you never be caught dead in? i dunno meat r us If you were another person, would you be friends WITH you? of course Are you a daredevil? sometimes Do you follow or lead? both Have you ever told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell? most likely Do looks matter? there obviously has to be an attraction but personality is #1 Do you pray? yup yup have you ever met anyone famous? umm dont think so What do you do to vent anger? stay away from people and dont talk Are you passive or aggressive: passive Do you trust others easily? yeah. What was your favorite toy as a child? dont know. Do you have any pets? my bitch "star" and a turtle What class in school do u think is totally useless? algebra ahh i hat it BE HONEST: Did you or did you not like New Kids on the Block? oh man they kick butt. Do you like sappy love songs? yeah. Have you ever been on radio or television? television Have you ever intentionally hurt another person? i dont think so thats not my style and if i did they must have hurt me first Do you like sarcasm? no...never hehe Have you ever been in a mosh pit? yup yup Do you always wear a seat belt? yeah cars are scarry Do you feel understood most of the time? absoloutely not Do you drink milk? im vegan hint hint Would you rather have a sore throat or an upset stomach? stomach Have you thought seriously about committing suicide? uhhuh Do you know what `mung' is? : sure ill mung you anytime Could you be a vegetarian? ummm duh Would you ever bungee jump? probably. Have you ever given money to a bum? yes What are you worried about right now? girlz what else Do you ever wear overalls: nope Do you think you are strong (emotionally)? yeah i try What's your favorite smell? gasoline What do you think about Ouiji Boards? just plain dumb and scarry too What's the first thing you do in the morning? take my hand off my penis What's on the walls of your room? nothing really. Which do you prefer, croutons or bacon bits? bacon bits and they are vegan dont worry What is your dream car? rice rocket What's on your ceiling? white Do you share your room? kinda Closing Comments: this didnt cure my boredom Time finished: 777 Current Mood:  boredCurrent Music: nothin |
| 1:22 am | check this shit out...unbelievable ok this is andrea and I's most recent conversation XocnerdX: do you think weve kinda rushed into this XocnerdX: i mean im not used to bieng in like serious relationships foreverunplesnt: maybe we rushed.. but i dont think it was a bad thing.. whats wrong with being in a serious relationship? do you have problems? XocnerdX: im not used to it XocnerdX: it makes me scrared foreverunplesnt: why are you scared? XocnerdX: i dont think i feel the same way as you do XocnerdX: or at least not as intense foreverunplesnt: :-( XocnerdX: i dont know what to do accept be completely honest foreverunplesnt: well, do something.. XocnerdX: huh? XocnerdX: like what foreverunplesnt: i dunno.. do you think in time your feelings will grow stronger for me.. or do you think you will just get sick of me? XocnerdX: i dunno foreverunplesnt: :-( XocnerdX: ummmm foreverunplesnt: do you think im too attached to you? do you want me to back off? XocnerdX: i dunno XocnerdX: im not really sure what to do as of this point foreverunplesnt: well what are you thinking? XocnerdX: i dunno XocnerdX: what to do foreverunplesnt: do you want to break up with me? XocnerdX: i dunno foreverunplesnt: what did i do XocnerdX: i think its goin to fast though were hangin out with eachother to much maybe we should take a break cause ive never been in a seriuous relationship b4 and im not sure idf im ready yet XocnerdX: im still a kid remember foreverunplesnt: TAKE A BREAK??? XocnerdX: i dunno what else to do XocnerdX: what r u thinkin? foreverunplesnt: shane.. you shouldnt have asked me out if you wherent ready to go out with me.. we have been going out for 9 days and you allready want a break from me.. that is so messed up XocnerdX: jeez im soooo sorrry...i just need to get my priorities straight foreverunplesnt: what priorities? XocnerdX: just lif i dunno im really confused right now foreverunplesnt: thats just so fucked XocnerdX: were movin to fast and stuff and its no good...im not as interested in you as you are in me im not used to girls bieng jelous of me and stuff like that im not sure how to respond to it XocnerdX: im sorry XocnerdX: we can just go back a step maybe foreverunplesnt: well whats back there? XocnerdX: huh? foreverunplesnt: this step back.. where is it? foreverunplesnt: what is it? foreverunplesnt: how is it XocnerdX: dating foreverunplesnt: fuck that XocnerdX: ummm foreverunplesnt: you dont do that to someone shane.. XocnerdX: what? XocnerdX: be honest with them XocnerdX: and try not to hurt them thats what im doing foreverunplesnt: have someone get attached to you.. and then toss them off XocnerdX: i didnt expect 4 u to get attached to me in 9 days XocnerdX: thats not normal 4 me foreverunplesnt: thats just how i am XocnerdX: so dont blame me 4 it foreverunplesnt: you knew how much i liked you to begin with.. foreverunplesnt: you dont ASK someone out that you really dont want to be with XocnerdX: i asked you out because i did want to be with you...but think about it did i know that much about you foreverunplesnt: so now you know me.. and you dont like me.. so you wanna get rid of me??> XocnerdX: no im just really overwhelmed by the whole thing and need some time foreverunplesnt: gosh im so dumb.. i should have never gone out with you.. guys love to fuck me over.. gosh.. what was i even thinking.. foreverunplesnt: this bleeding heart sheds lots of tears... XocnerdX: omg if luved to fuck you over i wouldnt be doing this right now XocnerdX: i could go on with it and lie to you foreverunplesnt: but i dont understand XocnerdX: but no this is where bieng honest gets me XocnerdX: fuck XocnerdX: i cant win can i foreverunplesnt: i am being honest so are you.. but i am saying.. you shouldnt get yourself into something you cant handle XocnerdX: i could have kept on going i could have told you i love you and i prolly could have had sex with you but that not what i want foreverunplesnt: and hurt someone in the process XocnerdX: but no im telling you how i feel right now to prevent anymore hurt foreverunplesnt: i dont love you .... yet... i wouldnt have had sex with you.. even if you did tell me you loved me.. I dont want you to LIE to me.. but foreverunplesnt: i am allready hurt.. foreverunplesnt: i HATE this XocnerdX: im reaaaallyyyy sorry i didnt know it would be like this XocnerdX: you would hate it more if i kept on going on with this XocnerdX: im sorry foreverunplesnt: why did you do this to me AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH XocnerdX: geez im just tryin to be nice foreverunplesnt: TRYING TO BE NICE!! HAHAHAHA XocnerdX: you know what 4get it foreverunplesnt: SHANE IF YOU DIDNT KNOW ME WELL ENOUGH TO WANT TO GO OUT WITH ME YOU SHOULD HAVE WAITED UNTILL YOU WHERE SURE!!! YOU LEAD ME ON.. TO WHAT????????????? NOTHING BUT HURT foreverunplesnt: 4 get what? foreverunplesnt: i cant change the way i feel shane.. its just how it is.. im sorry if i scare you.. XocnerdX: i know foreverunplesnt: i thought everything was good.. almost perfect.. but i guess i was wrong.. XocnerdX: this in no way is your fault at all foreverunplesnt: but it is.. XocnerdX: no it isnt foreverunplesnt: i shouldnt have ever talked to you.. look at me now.. ive made myself into a whinny little bitch.. XocnerdX: huh? XocnerdX: no way foreverunplesnt: me.. when i want something bad enough.. i go after it.. and now .. i cant have this something i want.. because i am a stupid crazy pshyco obbsessed bitch XocnerdX: :-\ foreverunplesnt: errr fuck XocnerdX: what foreverunplesnt: this?? XocnerdX: ru not even gonna be my friend now foreverunplesnt: how could i be your friend?? XocnerdX: ummm foreverunplesnt: i cant believe you shane.. XocnerdX: why couldnt you be XocnerdX: i still want to date you and you dont even want to be my friend now foreverunplesnt: im never comming out of my room again.... i am going to shelter myself away from this world.. world of people who like to hurt me.. XocnerdX: yeah thats it my whole intentions was to hurt you XocnerdX: thats pretty selfish XocnerdX: in no way do i ever want to see you hurt in anyway foreverunplesnt: i didnt say that was your intention.. but why should i just date you.. i dont want to share you XocnerdX: fine foreverunplesnt: fine what? XocnerdX: im not that special youll get over me XocnerdX: i guess it wasnt meant to be foreverunplesnt: well i thought it was.. foreverunplesnt: i think dateing is stupid.. why do you want to date?? i am still going to feel the same way about you shane.. XocnerdX: so you dont even want to be my friend now XocnerdX: dating is what ur supposed to do to get feelings for the person foreverunplesnt: i want to be your girlfriend.. not some girl you see every once in a while.. when you feel alone.. or this other girl is bizzy foreverunplesnt: it would be hard for me to be your friend shane.. to look at you.. to see something i want.. that i cant have. hurting everytime i saw you ... how could i deal with that? XocnerdX: well sorry do you want me to be your boyfriend who dosnt feel the same way as you? XocnerdX: see now ur acting like someone you know foreverunplesnt: matt.. XocnerdX: uhhuh foreverunplesnt: i know how he feels i guess.. XocnerdX: see but you did that even though you in no way wanted to hurt him right foreverunplesnt: i want you to be my boyfriend.. and i allready knew i had stronger feelings for you.. than you did for me.. im not stupid.. i know.. foreverunplesnt: i didnt like him in the slightest.. plus we wherent even going out! foreverunplesnt: we wherent even Dateing.. foreverunplesnt: we where friends. foreverunplesnt: its diffrent XocnerdX: im sorry but thru this whole thing i was trying to be nice im sorry you cant see that foreverunplesnt: trying to be nice??? XocnerdX: yup foreverunplesnt: did you want to be mean to me? XocnerdX: hahaha umm no thats why this happened dont you see foreverunplesnt: What do you feel for me?? nothing?? XocnerdX: not nothing foreverunplesnt: then what? XocnerdX: something foreverunplesnt: not enough to go out with me.. XocnerdX: nothing compared to what you feel though XocnerdX: no obviously foreverunplesnt: you dont even know how i feel XocnerdX: how do you feel? foreverunplesnt: like im going to throw up. foreverunplesnt: u dont get it.. foreverunplesnt: i thought you where diffrent.. i thought this was going to be something good for me.. foreverunplesnt: but i was so wrong.. instead.. you have made me never want to go out with a guy.. EVER again in my whole life.. XocnerdX: i know how that sickness feeling is XocnerdX: oh yeah thats the sollution foreverunplesnt: obveiously it wasnt for me.. foreverunplesnt: i didnt want any one else but you.. and i still dont.. and i hate that i wasnt good enough for you XocnerdX: dont you realize that your bieng selfish...do you care what i want XocnerdX: and dont want foreverunplesnt: i know im being selfish.. but i dont see why.. you wanna date... foreverunplesnt: you dont like me as much as i like you... foreverunplesnt: thats what ive gotten... XocnerdX: that is true foreverunplesnt: But.. i can calm myself... without having to take a break.. XocnerdX: sorry XocnerdX: you wouldnt be bien yourself then foreverunplesnt: i dont want you to date me... and date other girls.. i couldnt deal with that.. XocnerdX: well then were not dating foreverunplesnt: i cant let you lead me on anymore.. foreverunplesnt: i dont want "us" to end though.. XocnerdX: omg youre a freekin drama queen we had nothing special we were going out 4 nine days nine days! XocnerdX: why does it mean so much to you i dont understand foreverunplesnt: im not a drama queen.. i know it was only 9 days.. but i really like you.. and i thought we would go out for a long time.. XocnerdX: sorry i guess you thought wrong XocnerdX: i was just overwhemed XocnerdX: im sure not used to girlz bien possesive i felt like i couldnt be myself foreverunplesnt: you can be.. im sorry.. just ... XocnerdX: i still felt the urge to flirt with girlz and i shouldnt feel that way when im goin out with sum1 foreverunplesnt: then you should have never asked me out.. XocnerdX: i guess not XocnerdX: ur right XocnerdX: that was my mistake ill admit that this is my fault foreverunplesnt: i dont know why i like you so much.. i guess your right.. it was only 9 days... but still XocnerdX: i had no choice in my eyes if you had some obssesive guy who uv been goin out with 4 nine days who already is way attached to you it gets scary foreverunplesnt: when you asked me out.. my relationships with guys usually last over 3 months.. 9 days.. thats so Middle school foreverunplesnt: i wasnt ready for this.. XocnerdX: i know i know im sorry foreverunplesnt: please shane.. give me a chance XocnerdX: i wasnt readyt either thats why its ending now XocnerdX: i am giving you a chance thru dating XocnerdX: but youre to selfish to accept my offer foreverunplesnt: i can date you. XocnerdX: you wont you want me all to yourself XocnerdX: you said yourself all or nuthin foreverunplesnt: i am willing to compromise now.. foreverunplesnt: ive calmed down.. a little XocnerdX: i dont know what to say now foreverunplesnt: i Can date you.. But i need to know if you think we can have a future? XocnerdX: i dont really think so foreverunplesnt: then whats the point of dateing? XocnerdX: it seems like now that im saying no 4 sure you want be back wtf foreverunplesnt: huh? XocnerdX: i dont deserve this XocnerdX: for trying to be nice foreverunplesnt: when you ask someone out.. it means you want a future with them.. of corse i am going to get attached to someone i think im going to be with for a long time... foreverunplesnt: when you shut that person off.. it hurts.. cause it came all at once.. with a shock.. XocnerdX: im really sorry it was just to much 4 me foreverunplesnt: i can give you less.. XocnerdX: no i dont want that it wouldnt be you foreverunplesnt: it could be me.. foreverunplesnt: less of me anyways XocnerdX: nope XocnerdX: dosnt work that way foreverunplesnt: why would you want to date me then? XocnerdX: forget it i dont want to foreverunplesnt: well what was all this for shane? XocnerdX: it let me see some things about you XocnerdX: and it was for you to not get hurt as much as you pottentiolly could have foreverunplesnt: this is too wierd for me.. XocnerdX: sorry thats the way it is XocnerdX: deal with it foreverunplesnt: what do i do now? XocnerdX: be my friend i could always use another friend CRAZY SHIT!!! |
| Sunday, July 22nd, 2001 | |
| 6:20 pm | ahhh so me and andrea have been hangin out a lot lately and things are already starting to get tricky. we went and saw taken last night at koos. i hung out with karin and tyler mostly cause she knew those people and i wanted to make her comfotable but she decided to be stubborn and only hang out with her friend which she brought to the show...karin recently has become a really good friend of mine and i kinda see her as a little sister and i like lookin out for her and i guess im a flirt i cant help it! shes hookin up with adam from forever i rise now and im not sure if hes right for her...but shes happy so therefore so am I...i wish her the best. so anywayz on the way home me andrea and i were talkin and she was grumpy cause we had to like take a detour but aparently she didnt like the fact that i hung out with karin...and shes not used to goin out with christian guys and im sure thats its really confusing to her...i tried to help her understand but im still just learning and am still very new to the whole thing so im not sure if i did well...shes gonna have to realize that it keeps me happy and that god is by far the most important person in my life...more than anyone if she cant at least respect that than it wont work out...so we'll see the converstion ended on good terms and were both just gonna half to meet halfway on things and i prayed and i know that god will help me with my troubles...im sure we will be able to pull through...or at least i hope so! Current Mood: confusedCurrent Music: thrice |
| Wednesday, July 18th, 2001 | |
| 1:55 pm | la dee da ok so im not used to updting things sorry! hehe. okay anywayz a lot has happened since last week randy left and im sad and happy about this. BUt i am very glad that he left on a very good note! I dressed up as a lobster to support my buddys in crustation nation that was super fun! Im goin out wityh andrea now and am extremely excited about that! And shes supposed to be here right now but i think she got lost or somethin im scared. ok guys sorry for lack of detail...im out Current Mood: disappointedCurrent Music: juliana theory what else |
| Tuesday, July 10th, 2001 | |
| 6:27 pm | good=cradle and andrea bad=drunken metalheads and nervousness well well well this is my first real entry so here it goes. Yesterday me and randy (heather too) went to none other than cradle of filth at the palace in hollywood. See randy isnt the most inteligent one so we drove all the way there parked then realized we had no tickets! grrrrr! So we had to drive all the way back to newport then back again overall it took about three hours. Whatever. So we get there again and the crowd isnt nearly as scary as i expected in fact it was pretty chill and about two seconds after entering the main room thing andrea comes and so i gave her a big hug...i didnt really know what else to do. So yeah it turns out we only missed the first band, and the second (god forbid) wasnt to impressive. Nile played next and it all sounded like a bunch of jumble to me and my complaint about the sound was the cymbals...you couldnt hear em really for any of the bands but you could see them bien hit...whateva. so yeah for cradle we went to the balcony where we could see everything really well...and i got to sit next to andrea ohhh yeah. well cradle freekin rocked the house (dani's voice was so pearcing omg i dont see how he can do that its insane) there was thing on stilts that was like tryin to rip off marilyn manson...it was funny. Meanwhile some how i ended up holding andreas hand, it gave me a new sense of peace i really enjoyed it. Im really interested to see where that goes. Cradles set overall was amazing...and they actually seemed like nice guys it was wierd. they played a three song encore which was cool. then we went home i watched some howard stern then i fell asleep...a good day overall! Current Mood:  anxiousCurrent Music: juliana theory-is patience still waiting |
| 1:44 pm | its my first time so...this is my first entry and i really dont have much to say andrea talked me into doin this and she is super kool so i did it next time i write in this thing i might have somethin to say so check back soon! |