that's the first time i cried when Brooks dies in Shawshank Redemption

when was the last time our armed forces actually fought to protect our freedoms, or fought to keep us safe?  i keep hearing that but it seems like the last time it was actually true was during the Cold War or something, unless we try to claim that the spread of Communism was a threat to our continued safety and freedom.

Ok we are now legislating how you can wear your clothes because....well I'm not sure.  I'd say it's because people complained but do the lawmakers actually fear they won't get re-elected if they allow people to show their underwear?  Anyway you can read it here.

all i can think about is kissing her, this is really gay.

if you ever thought about doing something nice for someone else, let this be a lesson to you

in the first 35 minutes of Van Helsing i think i had a half dozen story questions.  that's not a good sign.

with the proliferation of the "free" stuff websites, i'm trying my hand at getting a playstation 2.  who wants to be one of the 4 people to spend a dollar for a month of some pointless offer and then cancel it BY PHONE.  i'm very poor, help me out.

bored for some reason

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it's so lame when you send flowers to the wrong suite and instead of anyone being remotely thoughtful and trying to figure it out or call WHILE THEY ARE THERE, they just go back and figure tomorrow is just as good.  tomorrow isn't her birthday dumbass.

whilst my teriyaki chicken marinates away and i put off my homework even further, an update shalt come forth from ye olde mighty keyboarde.  and so forth.  as usual i'll probably forget half of what i wanted to post about but them's the breaks. 

friday i went and saw Finding Neverland with the boonettes and paul, who is a recent acquaintance of us all.  it's weird being there when both of them may or may not be attracted to him and i'm not sure what role i'm playing.  anyway while i was waiting outside for them to show up i was feeling really emo and sad because my last visit to the theater was with drea.  i figured i'd just be real quiet all night and let them converse.  the movie started and a couple hours later i had forgotten all about my woes and moodiness as this film was positively magical.  it touched me in a way that no movie has since i saw American Beauty.  when it ended (and the credits rolled to some wonderful piano music) i just wanted to sit there and drink it in and not talk at all.  since i knew it would end soon and i'd have to return to my mundane existence i wanted to savor it as long as possible.  that's how awesome it was for me.  Johnny Depp was so good i didn't even think about his acting, i was just sucked in by it.  it was uplifting and heartbreaking, inspirational and sorrowful.  please go see it.

after the movie those 3 went off to a club or something while i headed home, not really caring to be out and around a bunch of people.  i think i've always been like that, i just recognize it more and have no problem acting on it.  i don't like ambient noise and i don't like crowds.  :\

saturday i was scheduled to drive over to el dorado hills to try and fix drea's sister's computer which was having no success getting on the internet as of late.  over the course of a few hours i tried a few different things, played shrek 2 on the ps2 with her oldest son edward (a remarkably outspoken little boy) and caught some football.  in the end i concluded that something on the hardware end of the DSL was faulty, be it the DSL cable itself or the modem.  my computer, which i brought, produced the same symptoms as hers so there was really nothing i could do about it.  they (drea's sister Carmen and her husband Justin) said i could stay and hang out so i watched some of the falcons-rams game (slaughter) until they decided to put on a movie.  by that time drea had shown up with her 3 boys and niece in tow (the niece being the daughter of their other sister) and things got louder, heh.  anyway the first movie we watched was the village.

( cutting for those who haven't seen it )

after that was over we watched Without A Paddle which was honestly quite hilarious.  a lot of it was fairly juvenile but it wasn't just a bunch of lame bodily humor jokes or ripoffs of other movies.  some stuff was almost too intelligent i think.  it dragged on a little at the end i think but it was worth seeing for a good laugh. 

i left after midnight without talking to drea about anything...i'm even more convinced now that something else prompted her to say we should stay friends.  since she said i couldn't separate work and personal, and she doesn't work with me anymore, there shouldn't be a problem right?  she isn't exactly calling me nonstop to start up again so i'd really like to get some answers from her.  maybe i will this week.  the trip home was slow at first as the fog was thick as hell up there but once i was on the highway it cleared up a lot. 

i forgot to mention my trip to the park yesterday morning.  it was awesome.  i walked around observing.  there's a big pond there now that allows fishing so there were quite a few people trying to catch some fishies.  i don't know what species are in there but i saw some a guy had caught and they weren't tiny.  i spent most of the time there watching the ducks and geese which was actually interesting.  i really wished i had a video camera for that.  just watching their behavior was an easy way to pass the time.  later i saw two squirrels trying to mate.  i say "try" because i think "no means no" translates pretty directly to squirrelish.  the female was really having none of it. 

i wish i could stop worrying about things but as usual, theres really nothing right now that i'm happy about or excited about.