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Saturday, June 21st, 2003
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2:26 pm - Yay for swimming
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| Wednesday, April 9th, 2003
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10:52 am - Weekend in Bend
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Andrea and I spent the weekend in Bend for her cousin Steve's birthday. I enjoyed the trip, even though we didn't really do all that much. It was nice just to go somewhere, and to have a change of scenery for a bit. We went to the Outback steakhouse for dinner friday night. Then on Saturday went to a barbecue birthday party at her aunts house.
Andrea is going to get her food handlers card today, I'm excited for her even though it's a small thing.
I'm trying to finish up a storyboard for a dvd project I'm working on, it should help me get the laptop paid off.
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, June 19th, 2002
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3:03 pm
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Goodbye Andrea,
You taught me so much.
You brought so much joy into my life.
You made me realise how special a person can be.
I hope you find happyness someday.
Love,
Joel
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, April 29th, 2002
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1:18 pm - The end of an era
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The happiest year of my life has ended.
I'm going to get lonely pretty fast.
Time to start a new hobby perhaps.
current mood:  sad
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, April 2nd, 2002
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9:45 am
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Something must be wrong with me, I went to bed at 2am, then woke up at 7:15. I'm tired as hell, but can't fall back asleep. I was tired all yesterday as well.
current mood:  tired
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, January 15th, 2002
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6:09 pm - The funnest thing ever
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| Tuesday, January 8th, 2002
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7:07 pm
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drunken posts are few and far between for me. I've made a few "new years resolutions" although I really don't want to call them that. I plan on eating more healthy, and starting a more regular excercise routine. I don't ride my bike as much as I used to, and would like to. I also want to try to get into a more regular sleep schedule, and be more productive with work tasks. I don't think I'll accomplish it all, but it's something I would like to achieve. Of course these are the things everyone says, and in the end I may not get them done, but the attempt itself should provide a boost in how I feel about how my life is going.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, December 26th, 2001
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3:01 pm
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such little things always seem to bother me sometimes.
things that have already been discussed, things that I should be able to get past
our relationship is so wonderful and keeps getting better.
I need to find a way to understand, I know it's there, I just need to find it
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, December 13th, 2001
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4:04 pm
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I'm feeling very motivated today. I've gotten quite a bit done, and cleaned up the apartment a bit. I've going to attempt to work out to some extent each day, since I can't ride much due to the weather. I've been very depressed recently, but I think I'm mostly past it. It's been hard adjusting to the new work system, working from home. If I get a set schedule, things should be easier though.
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, November 13th, 2001
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4:57 pm
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I'm liking my apartment more and more. I now have dsl which makes creating web pages a lot easier than with no net connection. I have tv, drums, games, and food. All the components I need to be productive and not go insane. Things overall are going quite well. I returned from a week in Seattle with a good paycheck that will pay off my credit card and give me spending money. There is more work down the road that I will have to keep me busy, and keep money comming in.
I went to the bank to deposit my check, and they have to put a 7 day hold on it, so I don't have any money for another week, but at least I don't have a huge need for money for a bit anyway.
I really wanted to go swimming today, but someone decided the pool would be better off with their lunch in it, so we didn't get to swim. In the past week I've been thinking about how much I miss mountain biking, I haven't gone riding in over 2 months. I just don't seem to have time anymore. Perhaps when things settle down a bit there will be more time for such things.
current music: the crystal method - bloodbath dance
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(comment on this)
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| Saturday, November 3rd, 2001
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9:54 pm - Broadcasting LIVE from Seattle in full T-1 Glory
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So I'm in Seattle now, working on a place far from home, but the T-1 is nice. I've begun working in an attempt to get things done as soon as possible, I may just work all of tonight, then go back to the hotel tomorrow to sleep, but we'll see what happens. I really don't want to be here for a whole week, but if that's what it takes, then I'll just have to stick it out. The food is nice though. I've brought everything with me I need to have a mobile office, I have checks to pay bills, envelopes, stamps, and of course my computer. Now I just need to get some work done. No Diablo 2 for me tonight.
I really dislike overhead flourescent lighting, but there isn't much of a choice here.
current mood: working
current music: Ministry of Sound - some random techno
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, November 2nd, 2001
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11:11 am - The big trip
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I'm getting ready to leave for Seattle tomorrow. I'll be gone for more than a week most likely. Today has been so hectic. I moved all the furniture out of my office with the help of someone who didn't even work in the company. None of the other founding members seemed to feel a need to help in the process.
Now my parents garage is filled with office furniture.
I have to wake up at 7:30 am to take the U-Haul truck back to the rental place.
Then I have to go back to the office and do more cleaning, moving smaller boxes into my apartment. Then at 2 I leave for Seattle where I will work 10 hours a day until the project there is done so I can come home. While there I will also have to find time to work on 2-3 other projects which were not fully completed while the company was still running.
At least I'll get free food, and a nice place to stay.
My grandma died today, she has been in a nursing home for about a year. She had a second stroke and stopped eating. She didn't want to eat through a tube or be put on machines. I didn't really know her all that well. She lived in California all my life until I was about 18. I saw her maybe 5 times before she moved up here. After seeing how life can be for seniors when they are not in good health I want to make sure I can support my parents and make sure they are well taken care of if I don't have time to be there full time if they need help.
I'm sure I'll end up feeling pretty lonely in Seattle, the only people I know are the guys I'm going up there to work for, and we've hung out a few times in Las Vegas and when I've gone up there to meet or do work, but I'm sure most of my time after working will be in the hotel watching cable TV, or on the net access the hotel has.
I feel like my life is in a somewhat volitile state at the moment. Not in a bad way, every thing just seems to be moving, changing, evolving. I feel as though I'm on a sheet of ice as it's breaking into chunks all floating about and bumping into each other, as I jump from one to another looking for a sure footing.
Perhaps when I come back from Seattle all the company debts will be paid, and I can move on with life, finish school, find a good job or perhaps do contract work.
current mood: determined
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| Thursday, October 4th, 2001
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2:45 am
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Friday Andrea and I went to the Portland Art Museum and spent the time discussing our tastes in art. We went back to my place and cooked dinner together which was really fun, we had rice, chicken and some broccoli, which was far better that I usually eat at home. We hung out for awhile, then went to the roxy for some coffee and cake. There were some interesting people we saw along the way, the best downtown Portland has to offer. After coming home, we played some video games and watched the Nightmare Before Christmas DVD. Saturday we went to Sparticus, and then headed back to her place for photo shoot fun. I'm at my parents house now, helping out with the yard, taking a short break. This has been a great weekend, and I think I've been a lot happier recently since I haven't been worrying much about the health of the company, I got a contract job to make a graphical interface for a windows program, which should be interesting. I think I might actually enjoy doing contract work if I can find a steady enough client base. I have also been looking around for an actual job as well, though with the current market I'm not sure how that might go.
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, October 2nd, 2001
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8:28 pm
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I've decided that now is a good time for me to return to college and finish me degree. I'm going to switch majors to something business related. I'm considering getting a minor in graphic design. This should add some stability to my life for the next year or so. It should also provide me with means to find a job I'll really want once I'm done. I plan on continuing contract work while at school, which will provide some income in addition to the student loan I plan to live on. I'm actually quite pleased at this point with the descision as things in my life have been so stressful for the last 2 years. I can take some time off of all that and focus on school.
current mood: working
current music: Chemical Brothers-WhereDoIBegin
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, September 26th, 2001
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5:29 pm
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Number of people on my LJ friends list:16
- whom I've met in person: 14
- whom I've met in person more than once: 14
- whose house I've been to: 7
- who have been to my house: 4
- whose precise geographic location I know offhand: 15
- whose full names I know offhand: 6
- whom I've followed/been in touch with for more than 3 years: 0
- who live outside my country: 0
- whose journals I consider myself "addicted" to: 4
- whom I've lived with:0
- whose ex I slept with:0
- who I'd do: not sure
- who I've done: 1
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(comment on this)
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12:45 pm
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Making a resume always seems somewhat depressing to me. It's like putting everything you've done in your life on 1-2 pages, and it usually doesn't look like much. I've come to the point with the business where I actually might need another resume. Searching for work isn't the greatest thing, but it should be an interesting challenge. I'm not sure what type of work I plan on looking for. Part of me wants to get some manual labor job digging ditches or moving boxes around. There would be no stress, and after 3 years of running a business it sounds nice.
On the other hand, I also want to start moving towards whatever I want to do with my life. Assuming I will be working at a normal corporate type job, it would be nice to start getting some exp in that direction. Something in graphic design, or possibly some corporate desk job sound intersting.. I'm not sure that running my own business for 3 years would be the type of job experience they would want though.
Then there is option 3, get student loans and go back to school full time. I only have 1-2 years left and would have a degree at that point, which would presumebly help me obtain a better job. I'm not really looking forward to having to pay back loans though.
I'm getting a lot done lately, I think knowing that things will get better has given me some more motivation.
current mood: accomplished
current music: Enya - The Promise
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| Tuesday, September 25th, 2001
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5:34 pm
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I think things are ok with us now. We talked a lot last night and this morning. Things have been insane with the company and the stress is killing me... literally. I don't have money to buy food, and I still work 10-12 hours a day. I've begun looking for a replacement job, something to give me some stability financially. I will still keep things going with the company in the background, hosting, building a few sites a month.. but at least I won't be constantly worrying about where my next meal will come from. I think it will help things with Andrea and I as well. I will actually be able to do things for her, take her out to dinner, possibly get a car to drive places. It's just hard seeing the last 3 years of effort burn away. All is not lost.. I have learned a lot, and made a lot of good contacts. Now I just need to figure out where to go from here.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Saturday, September 15th, 2001
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6:52 pm
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I fear that I may have really messed things up today. Certain things such as trust are really hard to build up again. Because I was curious and worried about our relationship, I invaded her privacy. My irrational fears are something I need to work through. I am sorry about what I did, and I hope that it hasn't damaged things beyond repair.
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| Friday, September 7th, 2001
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2:09 pm
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I'm very bored at the moment, I have work to do, but really don't feel like doing it. I'm feeling very introspective today. I've thought about my life and where it is going, and wonder if I am on the right track. I need to go back to school and finish up my degree sometime soon. It's been a year since I was in school, I've got 3 years done, but I probably have 2 more years to go, not too bad, but it is something I would like to get out of the way soon. I hope to be stable financially in the next few months, which shouldn't be too hard to obtain, but everyone else seems to be having trouble with jobs, so it may not be so easy. Hopefully things will be salvageable with the company, and we can trim things down to a minimum, and start making money. I really love working for myself, even though I haven't been paid in months, so getting paid would make it 10 times better.
current mood: bored
current music: MOS - [TCLUB] - Clubber's Guide 2001 [CD1]
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11:33 am
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I can remember an unusually large amount of the dreaming I did last night. I remember something about all my friends being shrunk down like in the 'honey I shrunk the kids movie' and for some reason they were all flung across the room off of something springy, I ended up finding them, but that's all I remember of that one.. then I had a dream about some place where all the streets were downhill, and for some reason I could sit down and slide down them sitting down, almost like they were iced over and I had rubber pants or something, so I spent what seemed like hours sliding down hills that seemed to go on forever, and I remember something about a train crossing, and the front of the train running into me, but somehow I was fine, but stuck on the front of the train as it sped up and then jumping off on a turn. Very odd really. Today I won't be doing much in the office, finishing up a few jobs for clients, then heading off to see Andrea.
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(comment on this)
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happy
