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User:lenken (4142280) lenken
Neo-Nietzschean Quasi-Existentialism for Dummies
The Scribblings of an Irreverent Wanker
Name:Len Kennedy, Esq.
Website:Humor for Adults Who Can Handle Adult Humor
Location:Grundy Center, Iowa, United States
Birthdate:1972-12-19
E-mail:
lenkennedy@hotmail.com
Jabber:
Don’t Mind If I Do . . .
Bio:
The Evolution of LenKen:
A (Thankfully) Brief Photo Essay

I guess a Kennedy wouldn’t be a Kennedy without some sort of scandal.  Below is a picture of me in drag a couple years ago.  That one youthful indiscretion pretty much ruined my political career.

LenKen: In Drag

And speaking of scandalaciousness, here are a couple gratuitous nudie pics, which originally appeared in Playgirl magazine.

LenKen: Gratuitous Nudie Pics
LenKen: Gratuitous Nudie Pics

This photo was taken in 1991, when I was in the Army.  As you can see, I was downright ecstatic.  I had no idea how much fun Army Basic Training would be—especially in muggy South Carolina in the middle of summer.

LenKen: Army Pic

This guy looks eerily similar to the guy I saw in the mirror a few minutes ago.  It was taken in June 1999, just a couple months after my first lung surgery, so I was still somewhat emaciated (well under 150 pounds).
     Ha!  I look like a deer in headlights (they often purse their lips like that when they know they’re about to die).  The look on my face, as you may have guessed, is one of guilt: That bottle of cheap-ass Scotch on my desk was about three-fourths full a few hours before the picture was taken.  Ah . . . but it was all part of the healing process. . . .  It’s true!

LenKen: Busted!

These last two pics were taken seven months—and more than twenty pounds of muscle—later, in January 2001.
     “Oh, is somebody pointing a camera at me?  I’m too busy being nonchalant to even notice.  Hmm . . . speaking of nonchalance, I think I’ll casually take a sip of coffee. . . .”

LenKen: Could I BE More Nonchalant?
LenKen: Could I BE More Nonchalant?

I can’t believe I couldn’t find any of my old mullet pictures from the Eighties.  I know they’re around here somewhere.  I have a feeling they don’t want to be found.
     Oh, and I finally got around to purchasing a new camera, so I can actually take some new pictures.  Like these. . . .

LenKen with Two-Week-Old Goatee

LenKen, Topless

LenKen, Still Topless

Oddly, it seems as though I haven’t aged a bit since this old daguerreotype, circa 1850, was taken. . . .

LenKen Daguerreotype, Circa 1850

Now, if you’ll excuse me—since I’ve been feeling rather nostalgic lately—I think I’ll see if I can get my mom to give me a bath in the sink for old times’ sake.  I think I need a bigger sink....




See kids—vandalism can be fun!A Brief History of Len Kennedy, Esq.
On December 19, 1972, at St. Luke’s Hospital in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, I was ejected from my mother’s cockpit.  I went places, I did things—yada, yada, yada . . . blah, blah, blah . . . et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. . . .
     And after high school, I made the mistake of joining the Army, but shortly after completing Basic Training, my knee serendipitously snapped backwards, and after surgery—and some excruciatingly painful physical therapy—I got a medical (honorable) discharge.  And since I was in the military for over six months when all was said and done, I’m now technically a disabled veteran.  Ain’t that some shit?
     I then attended college, majoring in social psychology, and I dropped out a little over a year later for pragmatic reasons (i.e., money)—but I may just drop back in someday.  I subsequently worked for about three years in a plastics factory, a year or so in data entry, and a couple years as a customer service representative.  I’m currently a freelance writer—which, of course, is merely a euphemistic way of saying I’m unemployed.  But that isn’t to say I’m not working tirelessly: In addition to dashing off my usual drivel and slipslop (see my website), I’ve been working assiduously on some short essays on long topics—“serious” disquisitions on important subjects, such as cognitive dissonance theory, Rational-Emotive Behavior Therapy, and death.

I’m a Gimp!
In 1995, due to a genetic abnormality (something else I can blame on my parents), I suffered what’s called a spontaneous pneumothorax, in which my left lung collapsed because a bleb—a blister on the surface of the lung—burst, causing air to seep into the pleural space between the lung and the chest cavity.
     That first time my lung collapsed, all the doctor had to do was insert a tube into my chest cavity and suck the air out of it, thereby reinflating the lung.  But in 1999, in the middle of March, my lung collapsed again, necessitating surgery to prevent it from happening yet again.  And this second collapsed lung was far more serious than the first—it was what’s called a tension pneumothorax: The pressure from my chest cavity filling up with air was forcing my heart up into my rib cage, and if I hadn’t gotten to the emergency room as quickly as I did, I undoubtedly would have died.
     But life’s full of inconveniences—one learns to adapt.
     And, speaking of inconveniences, in 2004, once again in the middle of March, my right lung collapsed.  And yes, goddammit, I then had to have surgery on that lung.  But, fortunately, the surgery is fairly permanent—and I only have two lungs—so, although it’s possible that one of my lungs could collapse again sometime in the future, it’s highly unlikely, Haile Selassie.
     After my first lung surgery, I quit smoking and started walking, biking, and lifting weights like a madman.  And now, after my second lung surgery, I’m once again exercising fanatically.  And, in many ways, I’m already in better shape than I was when I was in the Army: I can even do thirty push-ups in thirty seconds now—without cheating—which is something I couldn’t do back then.
     And I suppose life would be awfully boring if there weren’t continually new obstacles to overcome.  And vaginas.  Life would be dreadfully boring without vaginas.



Hey, Check It Out—
I’m Gonna Be a Father!


“USA!  USA!  USA!”
“Meow.”“Why in the hell did you put me next to the cat?  Are you retarded?”
“Moo.”“I’m your cousin!”“Waaaaaaa!”
“I wanna be a master of Togakure ryu taijutsu when I grow up!”“You gonna die.”“I’m dead!”“Have you accepted me into your heart yet, punk?”


I adopted a bunch of cute li’l patriotic, kitty,
bunny, cow, monkey, emo, ninja, death, mummy,
and baby Jesus fetuses from FetusMart!  Hooray fetuses!


LenKen’s cartoucheLenKen’s cartouche
LenKen’s cartoucheLenKen’s cartouche
LenKen’s cartoucheLenKen’s cartouche
LenKen’s cartoucheLenKen’s cartouche
LenKen’s cartoucheLenKen’s cartouche

Interests:150: agnosticism, al franken, albert ellis, amazonwomenonthemoon, ambient, aphex twin, atheism, bach, bastology, beef jerky, beethoven, bertrand russell, books, butthole surfers, celtic music, charles darwin, chemical brothers, church of virus, classical music, coffee, cognitive dissonance theory, cognitive neuroscience, critical thinking, dadaism, daniel dennett, darwinism, david bowie, david hume, david lynch, dead can dance, deee-lite, dionysus, dj cheb i sabbah, don mclean, doubting thomas, egyptology, english, enigma, epictetus, epicurus, evolution, evolutionary psychology, fatboy slim, fish karma, floccinaucinihilipilification, flow, franz kafka, freethinking, fried chicken, friedrich nietzsche, fsol, g.g. allin, george bernard shaw, george carlin, goa-psy trance, google, h.l. mencken, hard trance, heraclitus, horizontal ladies club, humor, indian ragas, inxs, j.s. bach, jahoobies, japanese girls, joe frank, john dewey, joie de vivre, jungle, jägermeister, keoki, king missile, kraftwerk, kunoichi, labia, ladytron, led zeppelin, leoš janáček, lesbians, lifting weights, lisa germano, lisa gerrard, living, loki, macgyver, marcus aurelius, marilyn manson, mark leyner, mazzy star, memes, memetics, miss kittin, moby, music, my penis, mythology, naked women, neo-nietzschean quasi-existentialism, nine inch nails, ninjutsu, ol’ dirty bastard, philosophy, pink floyd, pragmatism, primus, prodigy, psychology, rational-emotive behavior therapy, ravi shankar, reading, red red groovy, red red wine, richard dawkins, robert plant, rockers hi-fi, roger waters, s.j. perelman, sarcasm, schadenfreude, secular humanism, sesquipedalians, shurikens, skepticism, social psychology, sociobiology, socrates, spiders, squirrel nut zippers, stephen hawking, steven pinker, susan blackmore, sven väth, swiss army knives, techno, the doors, the eighties, the f-word, the onion, the orb, thoth, tori amos, trance, underworld, vaginas, voltaire, wit, writing, yiddish, your mother. [Modify yours]
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