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I'll be your dumb decoy duck

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[Aug. 30th, 2004|11:10 pm]
Brooding )
Hmm, I wonder if this spark plug will make my band stop sucking.
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Deserve's got nothin' to do with it [Aug. 29th, 2004|04:48 pm]
Really I live a hectic life and it makes me feel like a big fucking loser, because sometimes I party too hard, drink too much, approach to the bong with feverish wild-eyed enthusiasm, and EAT TOO MANY PEOPLE'S FUCKING BRAINS. And many times I end up performing vivisections and tea leaf readings. And thinking about death all the time. But everything must suffer and die, correct? Sometimes I don't feel like I'll live to see 80. It really sucks, cause it's like I'm not in control of myself; like I exert no influence over my own destiny. That is frightening. At times I'm abrasive and I'm not really a good test taker, but beer, psychology and a recondite vocabulary have gotten me this far.
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[Aug. 29th, 2004|02:27 pm]
[Current Music |Burzum - "Key to the Gate"]

This is what protesting is all about...

Anti something )

Way to go.

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[Aug. 29th, 2004|02:25 pm]
That shit was the worst rhyme I ever heard in my life
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[Aug. 28th, 2004|11:10 am]
Bagging up means Sadie's udders are full of milk.
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Wtf? [Aug. 27th, 2004|09:50 pm]
Items [info]xx_el_xx, [info]love__sick baffle. Somebody explain?
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[Aug. 22nd, 2004|12:55 pm]
What the hell have I been doing all this time if not writing about the dehumanizing effect of technology?
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The mysterious rites of Wolverine™ phallus at Borders [Aug. 16th, 2004|02:39 pm]
Borders staff painted over the apocalyptic drawing but it continues to shine through. I have increased the contrast to make it somewhat more easily visible.
Wolverine phallus revelation! )
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[Aug. 11th, 2004|07:18 pm]
This is a very peculiar look: more or less tidy, tractable hair juxtaposed with a beard scruffy and wild-looking. In general I feel that having facial hair longer than the hair on your head fails miserably, but this look is so odd I do not know quite what to make of it.
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[Aug. 11th, 2004|12:06 pm]
[Current Music |Mark Lanegan Band - "Driving Death Valley Blues"]

New Mark Lanegan out Aug 10th finally (yesterday) and since Aug 2nd in the UK. Everything should come out in the United States first.

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[Aug. 5th, 2004|03:32 pm]
Actually maybe it's all a very intricate form of meta-sarcasm and could it be that we're the ones who don't get it??
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[Aug. 3rd, 2004|10:09 pm]
[Current Music |Ulver - Høyfjeldsbilde]

Back to school savings? Anybody taken advantage of this yet?

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[Jul. 19th, 2004|12:32 pm]
Here is a new survey that I'd do if I had a paid account. Which is more romantic?
a. Kool Keith - Sex Style
b. Serge Gainsbourg - Je t'aime... Moi non plus
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[Jul. 18th, 2004|02:25 am]
Another mysterious wrong number tonight. Moon's new again, I guess. It arrived about 12 AM and I answered "Hello?" but this time, in contrast with last, I was not greeted by another human voice but just some shuffling and clattering. All went dead after about 6 seconds by my reckoning and that was it.
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[Jul. 17th, 2004|10:57 pm]
The other day I went buck-wild painting racist messages and the forms of genitals in varied states of tumescence all over the place, rendering them in a paint whose hellish color was described simply as "bone" by the label. The paint splattered all over the place; my forearms up to the very bight were inundated by ropy spumes of froth that I hurled outward from my person, and I left palm prints on the walls everywhere and it got all in my hair too. After this frenzy of destruction I showered and toweled off but streaks of white lingered in my once dark mane. So I looked very old then. Significantly less virile. I was dragging my foot behind me too, completing the illusion.
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Breeding to kill [Jul. 12th, 2004|10:28 am]

Don't hold it against me.. I'm a little screwy myself!
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[Jul. 11th, 2004|06:47 pm]
I spent today mowing the lawn, trimming the hedges, slashing through the incredibly thick verdure, and pruning our English boxwood into the shape of a giant phallus. I laughed mightily at these playful antics and cried some too. There was a squirrel trying to plunder one of my birdfeeders so I threw a few stones at it but they sailed wide and a couple went straight over the fence and hit a small child. So I passed a few hours hiding in the shade of a hefty cedar, and I noticed at the base of it that the ground is yet littered with nymphal cicada husks, and even a few full adult bodies that the birds missed, their red eyes grown black in death. They're about 2/3 of the way ground into dust now, which seems quite slow, the last one in the world having died about a month ago. To hasten the process a little bit I sprayed the area with kerosine and lit them all on fire, and danced around the tongues of flame naked with war symbols painted on my chest. We have a high fence so that's okay here. Jerking about like that, I must have have had the appearance of a tetanus-afflicted funambulist about to be pitched into hell. When all that was over I came inside, shattered a few windows, poked some holes in the wall, and kicked the dogs around for a bit. Then I went into the shower and fell asleep there. I woke up a while later and started to get really disgusted with all the mildew that was growing on the walls so I scoured it with a toilet brush, and steel wool too, and stuff that I learned about on commercials.
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[Jul. 11th, 2004|01:37 pm]
Idea: if I had a paid for account and could make surveys I would do one that says: Listening to FAMILY TIES theme song on repeat is: a. heaven b. hell. Too bad I'm stymied by soul-crushing poverty, ambitionless entirely, good grief. It sucks to be so dirt poor that I can't even purchase the all new Guys Gone Wild SPRING BREAK and FRAT GUYS videos. I have to live off of things that I club to death and then drag back home, and things I plunder, ravening as Benjamin. Should I order one of those GGW™ shirts/hats/something and wear it as a political statement? a. yes b. no c. CANCUN. Anyway, I watched a movie today called Mutant Aliens on Comcast On Demand (stolen); later read while lazing on a nice piece of Lexington furniture (pulled reeking from the trash last week); lit random fires on the floor of my squat, put them out with blankets before they burned too brightly; then watched Citizen Kane, legally rented from Blockbuster, but on a hot DVD player; unrolled greasy fat wads of cash then balled them up again and stuffed them down my pants; recited memorized lines from Dr. Who. For dinner I skewered rodents on the tines of a pitchfork and roasted them (still twitching, of course) over one of my basement fires until there was grease dripping through the fur, which was kind of matted and clumped together. I leaned in for a closer look and the eyeball juice popped and sprayed me but I didn't mind too much, except for being reminded of spraying that group of small children with diseased sewage. I had more important things to worry about, like the way the pipes in the basement were grumbling, and whether or not I'd ever get out of there alive.
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[Jul. 8th, 2004|06:55 pm]
I saw this infomercial promoting a certain machine that was some kind of super-juicer. You could feed it anything and it would grind it up and juicify it. Fruits, vegetables, meat, bone, gristle, fat, aluminum foil, saran wrap, tupperware... anything. It was amazing. They actually showed the thing in action, sucking up carrots, celery stalks, lettuce, the like, and spewing out this viscous greenish mess that looked utterly revolting to me. But what do I know? The spokesman was this aging bodybuilder or some other washed up celebrity now quite old, something like 80. He was demonstrating how using this product preserved his health remarkably, something like a pickle, and he showed off his awesome muscularity by roping himself to a boat holding seventy five gawking, sturdy onlookers and then he leapt into the water, this 80 year old, and swam so powerfully that he pulled the boat, the onlookers and all in tow. He even had seventy pound rocks tied to his ankles, and made a special point of sailing against the powerful current. I wish to hell I could remember the name of this product because I'd like to look it up on the computer but I was foolish and did not write it down at the time I saw it. The creepiest shit comes on late at night. I really like it. That's when I saw the now infamous Interactive Male commercial. For those who don't remember, Interactive Male is a gay phone chat hotline. Moreover, when I saw the ad for Interactive Male, which features really pumped up guys working out, with sweat dripping down their muscled backs, it was immediately followed by Laura Bush supporting some kind of effort to preserve historical sites. This I wrote about some time ago but I don't feel like dredging it up. Anyhow, I also enjoy this other infomercial that comes on from time to time, for some sort of penis-enhancing product, except they carefully euphemize over the word "penis", always referring to that special part of the male anatomy or something similar. Which is kind of odd because that is more tactless than "penis", in my opinion, unless they were deliberately trying to appear coy by avoiding the brutal precision of the technical term, but if so it wasn't very much of a turn on. The weird shit they put on TV seems even weirder when you write it down.
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Devouring infants [Jul. 6th, 2004|01:49 am]
Another thing I bet you didn't know about the Bush Cabal. Prelate and Chief Spodomancer Lotharius "Dick" Cheney runs a swank bistro from the basement of which he sells assault weapons to very sinister, spectral figures with black overcoats and thick Bulgarian accents, whose gimlet eyes gaze out from a miasma of thick smoke that exists for no other purpose save to perpetually obscure their faces and follow them around wherever they go. The illicit cash earned from these phantoms and the profits from the bistro they promptly dump into a special fund set up to assist in repealing Suffrage and researching newer, more virulent strains of AIDS. Read about the same amount... )
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