alan has such a good eye for photography. <3
we were goofing around with le camera tonight, so i thought i'd share.

i start my new job at the insurance company tomorrow.

it definitely pays much better than my old job at echostar and i'll be doing less actual work. in fact, from what my new boss told me he gives bonuses based on good work, regular raises, and i can receive commission on sales/retention. my base pay will be higher and i'll get more on top of that. so thank you everyone; for wishing me luck and keeping those fingers and toes crossed... but don't uncross them yet! now my goal is to NOT fuck up. ;) ...not only must i keep this job, but i also have to balance that out with some even more important work i'm planning to start in january. more on that later.

i have to figure out what to wear since i forgot to ask about their dresscode. my old company's dresscode was so strict that i should be able to get by with wearing the same type of shit that i used to wear there. the only problem is that all my clothes are extremely baggy now. i just keep losing more and more weight. i've lost another 7 lbs in the last week and 4 days. my size 3 black pants are even baggy now. *blank stare* i look like a fucking 'tard. and those were my best pair of work pants! the thing is.. i still have a lot of nice tight size 0 and size 1 stuff (see pics!) but most of that is very summer-ish. and all of it is kind of skanky. not at all new-job-compatible. i'm happy to be all tiny and stuff (lots and lots and lots of crunches) but i'm too poor right now to go shopping for stuff that will actually FIT. shit... i know what i'm going to have to use part of my first check for.

anyway. on a more humorous note:

( HAHAHA LOOK. I'VE BEEN PRINCESSLEIAFIED! )

< / retard >

i made a cg. usa had asked me awhile ago to cg a pic of us together... you know, actually making it look like we're in the same place posing at the same time.

i'm actually pretty pleased with how it turned out. i created the background from 4 different pictures. i mostly just used these tools: lasso, clone tool, custom filter, copy&paste.; i didn't edit the colors. they seemed to just match perfectly for some reason. *shrug* i think the goal here was to make a cg that doesn't look like a cg. ;)

anyways. in a retarded attempt to make our "outfits" match (so to speak) for reasons of furthering the whole "we're in the same place etc" illusion, i decided to half-assedly slap a mars symbol on my forehead. hahaha. not exactly "princess" attire, but whatever. i don't have that much energy. i have long black hair and a red thing on my head... good enough.

eh. i've already re-uploaded it like 3 times. you bet your ass i'll be tweeking it off and on until i feel like i've gotten it right.
...hm. i don't think i'll put this behind an lj-cut. SUFFER BITCHES! heehee.

happy thanksgiving guys!

so here's a list of what i cooked and/or prepared:

10.5 lb turkey
greenbean casserole w/ french's onion topping (from scratch)
candied yams w/ crisp marshmallow topping (from scratch)
bush's maple-style baked beans
sarah lee's mashed potatoes and turkey gravy
stove top's cornbread stuffing
pumpkin pie (store-bought)
apple pie (also store-bought)
bakery bread rolls
sparkling apple cider/sparkling cran-apple cider

OMG SOOO FULL.

anyway, i'll have pictures later. and when my frien jenna gets online... i think she may provide me with something totally hawt to post. ;) jenna = TEH SEX.

i need to go work out now. like for at least 3 hours or so. i may wait and do it later, you know.. when no one is in the workout room. i hate working out around other people. me = gay. haha.

i'm really digging that classic hollywood starlet look right now. audrey hepburn, marilyn monroe, sophia loren, greta garbo, joan crawford, rita hayworth.. they were all so beautiful and elegant.

oh, and i have another interview tomorrow morning.. wish me luck, yes?


( behind the cut, pictures of my friend jessie and i... )

EDIT: ok guys, the hot blonde in the pics has an lj now! add her to your friends list, yes? her username is bloody_monroe. she's awesome and stuff. :D

remember the whole... kidney pain problem i was having? i got diagnosed with a kidney infection. a really bad one. apparently if they had "caught it sooner", i wouldn't have found myself in such a mess. now they have me on some heavy duty anti-biotics (see also: GIANT HORSE PILL) that "might work", and if not what? i'm screwed? how utterly fabulous. observe me as i squeel in sheer and unhindered glee! i just took my first one about an hour and a half ago, and my lower back is still killing me. fuck anti-biotics, they should've just given me morphine. then i could at least be in a happy place while my kidneys fail. :D

i've been holding out hardcore on the kittygirl-schoolgirl-midriff-baring-jeans pictures. why? because i don't particularly like them due to the poor image quality. plus i'm tired of looking at myself, it gives me more leverage to nit-pick my flaws. i went for about a year not posting any pics of myself and lately i've been posting like crazy. i'm burned out. well, i'm burned out until i have a a new camera to play with. hint hint to all random millionaires who want to contribute.

in other news, the job hunt is going at a painfully slow pace. the good news is that i have some stuff coming up that might end up becoming profitable enough to prevent me from actually having to get a 9 - 5. i won't say anything yet because the plans are still in their birth, however i'll give you guys a hint: it would cause you darling people to get even more tired of seeing my face than you already are. <3

*drumroll* and now, ladies and gentlemen.. ( the obligatory me-with-catears-on picture behind le cut. )

i woke up today at 8am so that i could make my first interview at 10am and then my second at 1pm. i'd been feeling all crappy yesterday, but when i woke up this morning it was about 3 times as awful. so i get ready and i'm all dressed and stuff, then i promptly puke. so i had to call and reschedule both interviews for later this week. >_< then i went back to sleep and didn't wake up until about and hour ago. i feel godo enough to at least sit up and walk around and keep my eyes open now, but i'm fairly sure that i have a nasty case of the flu. GREAT FUCKING TIMING, YES?

anyway. i was just watching "i love the 80's - 1983" on vh1, and DUDE. who here remembers fraggle rock?? O_O! i LOVED that show as a wee child. ok. so in the moment of nostalgia, i came up with a list of shows i used to watch as a tot.. some i reeeeeally loved, like looney toons, some i just watched because there was nothing else on (like under the umbrella tree and dumbo's circus/winnie the pooh). no particular order :P

ALF

muppet babies

under the umbrella tree

dumbo's circus (i think this is what it was called... do you guys remember this show? it was sort of fascinating in a creepy way, because it was a bunch of guys in animal suits.)

winnie the pooh ("live action version", like the above show)

fraggle rock

looney toons, tom and jerry, woody woodpecker, etc

alvin and the chipmunks

chip n dale rescue rangers

heathcliff and marmaduke

garfield and friends

meatballs & spaghetti

sesame street (80's style ;D)

teenage mutant ninja turtles

my little pony

kids incorperated

the mickey mouse club

berenstain bears

care bears

strawberry shortcake/rainbow brite

disney's adventures of the gummy bears

legends of the hidden temple

double dare

popeye and son

pound puppies

california raisins

saved by the bell

the dinosaurs (?) you guys remember that little bitchass dinosaur baby that would yell "not the mama!"?

reading rainbow

inspector gadget!

super mario bros

ducktails

pink panther

babar

curious george

old hanna barbera cartoons

mighty mouse (OH MY GOODNESS I HATED HIM WITH SUCH A PASSION! i actually watched this show religiously hoping that come one episode the cats would win! i dressed up in black tights, a black sweater, a long black sock safety-pinned to my ass and make-shift paper cat-ears glued to a headband and sat down to watch this daily! ALAS! IT WAS NOT TO BE! fucking "mickey on steroids". fuck you, mighty mouse. ;_;!)

mork and mindy

wuzzles

the snorks

smurfs

rose petal place

charlie brown

betty boop

a shitloaf of those old game shows and cartoons on oldschool nickelodeon who's names escape me right now! I LOVED THOSE!


keep in mind my memory is super foggy, so i may have forgotten some... but those are the ones *I* remember. do you remember some? comment and list them! oh and if you know of a good website with these kinds of lists on them, do send me a link ok? i remember a year or so ago someone had linked one in my friends list, but my bookmarks of old are long gone. i looked through yahoo to no avail. ;.; bah~

ok, i went to my interview for the affiliate manager position this morning at 9:30. i think it went really super well, especially considering i am running on a little less than an hour and a half of sleep. i have another one tomorrow at 10 am. i really hope i get the one i just interviewed for though, because it would be such a kickass job! *tear* I WANT.

alan took this pic of me before i left. do i look professional? doesn't the shower curtain SCREAM "hire me"? rofl.



*le die*

i really need to do the dishes.

EDIT: OMG i almost forgot. wanna hear a story of alarming stupidity? last night i decided to try being a redhead for the interview, so at 1:00 am alan and i go to super k to buy the dye (since my roots were growing in anyway). whenever i do a new color, since i have ass-length hair, i always have to buy two boxes. so i get them and go home and do it. fuckin a. my roots turn out flaming fire-hydrant red, and the black part of my hair stays black. i looked absolutely RETARDED. so now it's 4:30 am, i roll back over to super k and buy my usual feria dye. i get home, and like an idiot i am so sleepy and upset that i accidentally mix the conditioner in the dye. O_O i almost cried. but i used it anyway, and it worked. thank god. i finally went to bed at 6:15 am. <3 the end.

i'm sure you all have noticed that i have been on aim the past two days when i usually would be at work. well, after an extremely upsetting roller-coaster of a week, i have finally calmed down enough to post this.

on tuesday the second of november, after almost two years with echostar communications, i lost my job in an extremely unfair and horrific way.

i'll quote a part of a lengthy email i wrote yesterday, as i think it sums up the situation rather nicely.

At that point I was waiting for one lingering absence to drop off (as EchoStar uses the "rolling calendar year system - meaning if I am absent in Aug '03, that absence will not drop of my record until Aug '04) so that I could fulfill my goal of moving up to commercial corporate and have an active hand at making positive changes at Dish Network.

Unfortunately for me September came along, and I made the mistake of wearing a pair of white slacks and a nose-piercing filament that were deemed unacceptable by my manager. This was, of course, just another example of management bias... as my pants were not against dresscode in any way and I had been informed that using a filler in a piercing was acceptable. I was sent home and given a Final Written warning. I was horribly angry, but I managed to remain positive as I felt it gave me 90 more days to improve my stats and prepare for my promotion.

I was very wrong.

Roughly a week ago, I received an escalated call regarding a Dominion Sky Angel customer. The retailer, installer and customer were all on the line, and the retailer was demanding a supervisor. I attempted to oblige. At the time there were only three supervisors on the floor, two commercial and one residential (who used to be a commercial agent himself). The female commercial supervisor was already on a call, so I asked the newly promoted male supervisor for assistance. He said that he was leaving and to find someone else. I asked the residential supervisor, but he also refused. I went back to the desk of the male commercial supervisor who was in the process of checking his voicemail before he left, and was again ignored. As I turned around, I saw a General Manager walking down the hall towards me. I promptly asked him to take my call, as it required no commercial knowledge. Although I had continued checking in with them, my customers had been on hold for a ridiculous amount of time thanks to the refusal to assist by the aforementioned supervisor. The GM happily agreed and the issue was quickly resolved. The supervisor who had refused to help me was furious. As soon as my supervisor returned from her lunch he complained to her, claiming he had offered to take the call. She called my manager, passed the phone to me, and I proceeded to get “chewed out” over the phone, so to speak. The call ended on a positive note though and after a lengthy conversation, my manager promised that we would meet the following Monday so that she could look over my proposals.

Now, mind you, this all seemed a bit strange to me. A coach had outright lied to my supervisor and manager, who took his word over mine. The strangest part was however, that to my knowledge I was supposed to be able to ask anyone wearing a yellow, green, or teal lanyard to take an escalated call. I failed to see why I was being verbally berated for doing what I knew was standard procedure. The only reason I could attribute the fiasco to were the words that the supervisor in question had said to me afterwards: “This makes me look bad.” Was that it then? Well, not doing one’s job typically makes one look bad, correct?

I thought the issue was over. Again, I was wrong.

I woke up Tuesday, with every intent on it being a perfectly normal day. As I walked down the row of cubicles to find an empty desk, my supervisor immediately approached me, asking me to set my things down and follow her into my manager’s office. I was actually pleased, thinking that because my manager had not been able to see me that Monday perhaps I was finally going to have my long-awaited meeting with her. I stepped into her office and my supervisor closed the door. I was then informed that I was being terminated. She handed me my last check. I was shocked. I was speechless. In disbelief I asked why this was happening. I was told that the male supervisor who had refused to help me that day along with my supervisor had together taken the issue to HR; with the intent of my being reprimanded. This individual perpetuated his lie - also claiming to them that he had offered to take the call, and that I had ignored him and willingly “jumped the chain of command”. Would I have asked a General Manager to take a call if I had thought one of my supervisors was willing to? It absolutely made no sense to me.

I was livid. In normal circumstances an employee first must receive a “Memo To File”, followed by a “Written Warning”, followed by a “Final Written Warning” before they are then terminated if they violate the same issue again. As you are aware, these must all be for the same documented cause. So why was I getting fired for an issue I had: A. never been reprimanded for before, and B. that is in no way, shape, or form a viable reason for disciplinary action? My previous Final Written had been for dress code, and they were using this coupled with that documentation as reason for my termination.

I left quietly.

I am not the only hardworking employee that has been terminated wrongfully. I loved my job. I did not agree with all of the things I was being told to do, and I never had anyone on my management team fighting to help me succeed in my goals; nonetheless, I loved my job. I saw myself sitting in a conference room with the executives, going over proposals for future marketing campaigns. I saw myself using the opportunities Echo Star provided to go back to school for a Master's Degree. I looked up to Charlie Ergen with so much admiration for all that he has accomplished in the last 20 years. This job provided me with much-needed health insurance, as I have many medical needs. My career was a large chunk of my life. I have now lost part of myself.

Dish Network desperately needs to re-evaluate how its employees are being treated and discarded. The system is corrupt. I know this seems like a very bold statement to make, but I am absolutely not the only one who feels this way. I always came to work on time. I hadn’t missed a single day since last March. I came to work sick or healthy, and I never let anything stand in the way of the caliber of service I provided. I knew the business inside and out; I even helped train new employees. I never turned down a question. I never refused anyone service.

When one of the employees is terminated for reasons that they disagree with, Human Resources will not allow any sort of appeal for further investigation. They will not listen to both sides of the story. Look at this company’s turnover rate. Good employees are dropping like flies. I have seen my friends fired because someone who didn’t like them went to HR and falsified a report against them. Now it has finally happened to me. My situation is not at all uncommon.




...




so that's pretty much the gist of it. mind you, for what i was doing at that company i was alarmingly underpaid. i mean, you would be suprised what an impressive resume i have. if you want to see it, email me. ;)

the GOOD NEWS is that this is only my second day jobless, and i already have 4 interviews lined up. i have 1 tomorrow morning for the position of "affiliate manager" at an insurance company's marketing division, 1 on saturday morning for the position of "financial advisor" at american express, and 2 on monday - both for corporate marketing/sales executive positions at american income/touchmark corporation and global management. these jobs all pay over 50k a year! so i think i'll be just fine... i hope. i was really scared at first, because we have so many bills.

PLEASE wish me luck guys! if you are religious, i desperately need your prayers. or maybe just cross your fingers. i don't know. whatever you think will help!

;_;

JOHN STEWART RIPS CROSSFIRE A NEW ASSHOLE.

rofl.

update: went thru lionel-sexy-beast's NDK gallery. i have to say, with the exception of the obvious few who stuck out like sore thumbs (*ahem* laura and meg, beverly, mara and her friend the rikku girl who's name escapes me, andrea and andrea, and a few others; some of whom i know and some of whom i don't know) nan desu kan cosplay sucked as per usual. i mean LOOK at this crap! it's not even bad costumes per se, although that is a large part of it, it's more like the cosplayers are just fuckin' ugly. i know.. it's a hobby... but one of these days i would really like to see a bevvy of sexy cosplay bitches... you know, all in one room. at the same time. *gasp* yes, it's a superficial thing to say - but i am a very visual person, and i need my eye-candy! so next year when i show up at ndk fir the first time in what will be 3 years, you can expect the best from me. ;)

oh, and hey khamryn! did you go to ndk? i didn't see any pics of you. *_* they NEED you man! show me some if i missed them, i'll admit i did have to look in a hurry as i'm getting ready for work and all~


...and here's a pic for you lovelies that i took but forgot to post yesterday. oops. *smack*

( because i haven't indulged in this kind of egotism in such a long time... )

edit: btw, this is the first time i have ever done this... but, here is my newest wallpaper... of myself. ROFL! it came off the digicam in 1024 x 768.. and it was just so... perfect unedited.. that i decided to leave it that size and just add in those lil box thingies and the text. *hangs head* SHUT UP.

this week in laura-ness:

i learned at the doctor that i have some tears in my esophagus which led to the blood-puke, and i also have a sinus infection, a fucked up kidney and some problems with my acid levels in my entrails or something. i was puking because of nausea due to the combination of drainage of sinuses and acid reflux. so long story short, i'm on all sorts of pills to fix me. whoo. *thumbs up*

i re-discovered my obsession with portishead after 3 or so years. *hugs limewire*

through a very amazing chain of events i've miraculously found my friend ashley with whom i had lost contact with about 2 years ago or more. she and michelle were my first two real cosplay buddies here in colorado. we've re-kindled our friendship and it seriously feels like we never ever lost touch. i'm fucking ecstatic~ :D

i decided i might want to start doing satellite installs instead of my desk job. in short shorts.

i was disturbed/fascinated by the fact that i've been losing on an average of a pound every two to three days since i've been sick. i'm looking kind of frail.

< sickeningly girly rant straight from my vagina > i never in my life have liked fruit-based scents or anything very fruity or floral. i always leant towards spicier/robust scents... like my obsession with thierry mugsen's "angel" and lancome's "miracle intense". however NOW i've become freaking CONSUMED by them!! especially raspberry smells! it all started when i went to super k at 3 am with my friend jesse one night to buy soap before i moved, and she convinced me to get the caress berry soap. it came with a little sample of pink body wash, which ended up being heavenly. so now i absolutely HAVE to always use my caress smooth sensations pink body wash with the purple beads and my berry bar soaps! and on top of this madness, i bought this amazing smelling raspberry shampoo and conditioner... and chapstick!!! berry chapstick!! ....fuck. so now i have to go to saks fifth ave ASAP to get a good berry/floral/creamy-crisp-based perfume. suggestions? *dies* < / sickeningly girly rant straight from my vagina >

the longest part of my hair now gets stuck in my butt-crack sometimes. it's growing way too fast. i have like horrible roots now... should i go black again? should i lighten? DECISIONS.

ashley showed me this, which is rad:

http://www.illwillpress.com/vault.html


ok i'm done now.

i dunno.. i think hurling up blood is probably a bad thing. i mean there i am... praying to the porcelain god, and as i look down what meets my gaze? a toilet full of red. and blood clots that look like chocolate. how awesomely disgusting.

going to see the doc friday. hopefully i don't like.. puke up part of my stomach wall or something before then. ha.

I FIGURED IT OUT!

the girl in THIS advertisement reminds me of spunky_m! i think it's because they both have a similiar shades of red and flawless white skin - no freckles. god i fucking hate freckles. i don't know what it is. i HAAAAAATE THEM.

THOSE are the kind of redheads i'm attracted to. not the freckly ones. no offense to those of you who are irish/scottish/lindsay-lohan redheads with freckles... but it's so rare to find a redhead with naturally red hair - minus the freckles.

FRECKLES MUST DIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE. *killstab*

you know how every 7 years your body chemistry is supposed to change, or something like that? well, although i persistantly dye my hair to comply to my every whimsical phase, i do know for a fact that since i was at least 14 or so my hair has been dark, dark brown (right now i have it dyed jet black and i love it). i was noticing that my roots were growing in again, and upon further inspection they seem to be growing in...red!? not like lindsay lohan-red or anything... but a strawberry auburn color, almost the color it was when i was a little girl. up until i was about 4 or so my hair was bright fuckin red. i dunno. this is very weird. alan thinks its just the lighting, but i'm beginning to wonder because i've observed this in direct sunlight, artificial bathroom lighting, my compact mirror at work sitting in my cubicle.. etc etc. i know my friend michiru's hair all-of-a-sudden went from curly to straight one year.. so i'm assuming it's possible for this to happen.

oh! and before i forget.. on this same subject, how would i possibly dye my hair to match this new color if right now it' black? is there a way to do this without absolutely ruining my soft, shiny hair? ;.; or should i just keep covering it with semi-permanent until it all eventually fades? i dunno guys.. i'm so anal about my hair. currently it's down to my tailbone, so it already requires a shitload of dye to do any all-around color. i had made the mistake of doing it in permanent black (i usually always do it in semi-permanent because it will fade and then i can be indecisive again and dye it another color within a few months), so i guess that's why i'm asking this. soooo many people tell me that it looks awesome and natural black and that i should just leave it this way, but ya'll know me... i can't "stay in one place" very long. ;) not with hair color at least. my friend jesse told me that i should've been born with black hair. honestly tho.. i've never dyed my hair strawberry auburn red. i've had it just auburn (like in my portfolio shots). i've had it purplish-red. but i always shyed away from RED-red because i always had a thing against redheads with freckles. no offense to you guys but.. it was never my style or personal taste, i always preferred exotic brunettes or sessay blondes. now i may be changing my stance. i can stay freckle-less. i dunno. maybe i'd be hot at a redhead?

har, for shits and giggles i did something to get opinions. in this photoshop, i changed my skin color and haircolor and everything. OBSERVE!
( OMGWTF. no seriously, this is shitty photoshopping at it's best. )

...one last thing.

CHICKENBOO, WHAT'S A MATTER WITH YOU? YOU DON'T ACT LIKE THE OTHER CHICKENS DO... YOU WEAR A DISGUISE TO LOOK LIKE HUMAN GUYS, BUT YOU'RE NOT A MAN... YOU'RE A CHICKENBOO!

*bows*

i just finished listening to the full version of the 90 min debate with kerry vs bush.

kerry not only ripped bush about 15 new assholes, he had to finish off by sprinkling the open flesh wounds with salt... one by one by one.

that was like gargling with pure political liquid sex. *grin*

Vaguely I can recollect trying desperately to weild that vacuum cleaner as if I were conquering it, my formidable opponent, with my wee nine-year-old hands. On that trip I actually managed to crash a decently-sized golf cart into the country club's fence (my first driving experience), somehow do a horrible job at vacuuming a soft carpeted floor, and still retain my grandfather's love for me. Even though he had to pay for the fence I think. The summer after the summer after that, I again attempted to tame the wild golf cart, and wound up almost driving my happy ass into a lake along with my yet-patient and supremely pissed-off grandad.

We all called him D.D. (deedee) instead of "granpa". It took me a few years to realize that it was because his name was David Davis. I thought dee dee was a universal synonym for grandfather and that was that. He was what I knew. He was D.D. Everyone had to have a D.D.

The smell of his house never seemed to change, and it was unqiue like that. Every summer when I walked through the door... out of the humid and agonizingly hot Texas air and into the dry air-conditioned entryway... it always smelled the same. I think he smoked cigars before I was born or once in awhile when he felt like indulging. His recliner was soft and smelled like cherries, and cigars always smelled like cherries to me. D.D. was a big man. His lap was hard to climb up on. I would scale it like a mountain and when I could finally snuggle down into it, I would time and time again reign supreme in my small lap-top victory. He was jolly, but not like santa. He had a deep-bellied laugh and would say to me "Heeey Laaara!". None of my family pronounces my name as "Lora", they all say "Lara", like Lara Croft, only spelled Laura. And I came first so I win.

At night on special nights, usually the first night we would get there, D.D would fix his famous "D.D. Steak" out on the grill. I was a picky little brat that didn't eat much so it took me until I was about 13 to appreciate how delicious that steak was. It was famous to us. My dad would come home after our trips and in late summer try to replicate the steak in the backyard but he could never quite get it right.

D.D.'s wife, my mom's mom, had died a few years before I was hurled violently into this world. He loved her, he mourned her I assume.. and then, when I was nine, on the same trip of the first golf cart incident, he married a lady named Elizabeth. She wouldn't let me call her grandma because it made her feel old. I think she had to have been in her late 50's at the time, maybe early 60's.. but regardless, I just called her Elizabeth. Elizabeth would take these fruits that grew on her porch and make jelly with them. It was really good. I approved of Elizabeth even though sometimes I didn't like her and sometimes I did. D.D. became D.D. and Elizabeth. They were happy. I don't know where she is now. I think she is still in the nursing home.. but I could be wrong.

Wherever D.D. lived... whether pre-Elizabeth or post-Elizabeth, there were always constants. His houses were always big and modern but decorated rustically and tastefully and his smell always stayed the same. I felt the same cool, dry air when I walked inside and I was always walking into a bubble of comfort. His lap only got bigger and loftier and easier to climb because I got bigger too. And there were always pools. When it got especially hot, to give us kids a treat D.D. and my mom and my dad and my aunt, uncle and cousins would all migrate down the street to the watering hole. I think my residual love for the smell of chlorine stems from these summers. I loved it because the air was so hot and the water was so shockingly cold at first. Golf carts and pools and Schlotzky's sandwiches.

Summer vacations to see D.D. and family when I was a child were exilerating.. and I enjoyed them so much for what they were when I was innocent and untainted. Before I could hate my cousins for becoming concious of their faults and wrongs against me... this was before I hated my aunt for being pretentious and just an all-around horrible person. Before I felt pity for my uncle who was a wonderful person who had married himself into a dark corner. Before D.D. had so many strokes he became a different person all-together. I want to cherish the moments I had with the people I loved. The D.D. I loved. He danced with me that night after his wedding and I was wearing a pink dress with big white ruffles that my mom had sewn me and I felt like such a pretty nine-year-old.

Everything you've just read is small. My memories are far too vast too write down. This doesn't do them justice. I'm just writing this for me. I hope my mom reads this. I want her to know that I can't forget what wonderful times I had with her father and with her and with everyone. I know now that I can take these things for what they were and seperate them from everything else and cherish them.

I'll miss you D.D. I know you loved me. I loved you too. Rest in Peace.

taken from lillyxandra.

Anybody and everybody who reads this: comment and tell me at least one thing you'd like to do with me someday. Then post this in your journal to find out what people want to do with you.

fable owns my life~

i have a good save and a bad one. mine is the good, alan's is the bad. i totally only wanted to be good to get my hero some pussy; but alan's bad save is SO much more fun. I LOVE FABLE. even though you can play the whole game through pretty quickly, it'll still be long for us because of work, and even when we do finish there are going to be crazy amounts of reply value.

i had a dream about being indecisive while shopping for perfume last night. i dreamt that i had gone around this huge designer perfume shop and gathered all the scents i liked and shoved them in a bag, and then at the conclusion i had to take them all out and re-sample them to figure out which ones i would buy. oh how i wanted them all! god that is so me. and it's true.. i'm so extremely indecisive when trying to make simple decisions; like what to order at a drive thru, or what scent i want to purchase at the perfume counter. :P GOSH.

...then at the end of my dream while driving home alan and i saw a train de-railed and a fat guy come out crying that when it had happened he had been on the shitter and somehow gotten a white metal shelf wedged around him like an inner tube. that was interesting.

last but not least... if you have read through this entire mess of a wake-up rant, i think you deserve some sort of prize. so here it is - i'm letting you in on one of my little secrets. i don't know who else knows about this site, but in my little world of plums and lollypops i'm the only one, so burst my bubble and i shall kill you. :)
*drumroll* ...and now, for the site that has amused laura for an entire month and a half (gasp!) ...

http://www.thesuperficial.com/ !!

have a good day kids. <3

aaaaand now.... for the most famous cosplayer to ever exist to date! putting all controversy and drama in regards to who has the most cosplay celebrity to rest! i give you... these pictures!







HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!! ANNA NICHOLE IS A COSPLAYER!

so i've starting drawing people. like portraits.. not anime, mind you. blame it on alan. i'm not great yet, but i'm working on it. see look, i drew angelina jolie. hotness of which i am unworthy!

i registered at deviantart.

PLEASE CLICK HERE AND REVIEW. :)

thanks and stuff.

http://www.liquidgeneration.com/blog/2004/05/blog-post.html


ROFFLE.

damn she's orange.

You are YUFFIE. You're very materialistic...or
should I say materia-listic?


What Final Fantasy VII character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


i dunno. sounds more like the old me :P

I JUST GOT MY SUITE CHIC CD IN THE MAIL. I AM LISTENING TO IT RIGHT NOW. I AM SO FUCKING HAPPY.


i think my favorite songs so far are (in order):

uh uh.... ft AI
what if ft verbal (m-flo)
signs of life
we got time



AIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE. <3

NAMIE AMURO IS HAAAWT.

happy 20th birthday, me.

i'm not sure why i've been feeling a little down the last two days. i miss so many people. i miss me 2 years ago. i think i'm going to be noticing a huge increase in the passage of time now. i think it's going to speed up and envelope me and i'm going to gaze at the years speeding by as if i'm looking out of the window of the car on the highway watching buildings rush by.

no more cakes.

no more parties.

no more presents.

no balloons.

the only balloons i'll be popping are those fucking green and yellow HBO ones attached to the cubicles at work.

i want my own cubicle. and my own chair.

i need more time. i need more money. i need more more more.



never satisfied.

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what the fuck is up with all these talentless sisters-of-talented-people and former disney channel child stars releasing albums?

ashlee simpson can't sing for shit. she's fugly. her chin resembles her ass, and her nose is gargantuan.

haylie duff. oh this bitch. she's like a carbon copy of ashlee. these ugly fuckers are twins. both have more attractive sisters who are also talentless, but more talented than them.

i'm sickened.


oh and suprie, from what i can surmise so far... paris hilton MAY actually be able to sing. if you use kazaa you're assed out tho.. download limewire and search for " Paris Hilton - Caught Up In The Rapture(Feat. Won G & Gizelle) (faisal janahi rip).mp3 " i LIKE this song. O_O


in other news, my CEO is the 34th richest man in the WORLD and in the top 20 in the USA. Charles Ergen is BALLIN. HE'S RICH BITCH!! (courtasy Forbes 400) ^_-

..................


i like gackt.


i used to be so ambivalant. i never really listened to him. i didn't like "j-rock". then i started listening to the songs on the cds that khamryn burned me. he has this great sound. i like it. I LIKE IT! i downloaded some more. and his voice is really really awesome. I LIIIIKE ITTTTT!!!

I LIKE GACKT!!!!!!!!!! IS HELL FROZEN YET???!^#!ik??? r^%$^& >yigute &%

oh, and he's prettier than any girl i've ever seen. i downloaded the gackt/ayu silent night video. HE'S FUCKING PRETTIER THAN AYU DUDE.

ah, i die now.

*die*

numba 1: http://images.cosplay.com/showphoto.php?photo=163374&sort;=1&cat;=8658&page;=2



numba 2: http://images.cosplay.com/showphoto.php?photo=163694&sort;=1&cat;=8658&page;=1


maryssa did such an excellent job. she's hot. <3

i just saw the best trailer evaaaar for FFVII advent children. TIFA LOOKS LIKE MEE!! we seriously have the same hairstyle right now! my hair is down to my tailbone and jet black, and i have side-swept bangs. AHAHAHAHAHA YES. i should cosplay her, but i won't, because it's going to be way too overdone.


but i AM planning a big comeback. DUN DUN DUNNNNNN! now i just gotta get my domain back up and running ;)



check this out: http://gametrailers.com/vault-f2.html scroll down for the trailers :D and check out the ffxii ones too!

i'm feeling a bit better today. <3

this is the last thing i need.

my top ten confessions:

10. i don't like showering. or brushing my teeth. or wearing makeup. or cleaning. i don't really like exerting effort towards my appearance. if i lived alone and didn't have to work i would more than likely lay naked on my couch all day covered in sweat smoking cigarettes and sipping coffee. sexy huh?

09. i've cheated on every guy i've been with until alan came along. he's the first man i've ever loved and respected, and he's also the first one who's become my best friend. i'll always be faithful to him and only him. :)

08. i like watching lesbian porn.

07. i just recently learned how to use the washer/dryer machines and a mop.

06. i had a childhood fear of mummies and manequins.

05. i had my first sexual experience with a female.

04. i beat up a little girl on the playground when i was in 2nd grade and got suspended for a day.

03. i have accute asthma and i go to the hospital and come really close to dying about once a year, which means i'm an absolute fucking genius for smoking cigarettes.

02. i don't feel any guilt for anything i've done in the past.

01. i like watching pretty guardian sailormoon. O_O



...now run along and post yours so i won't feel as deranged. :D

just wanted to say hi.

nikki: it was awesome seeing you~ *hughug* <3

jenny: i missed you, when nikki found me we called your cell... but at least i saw you onstage on the masq for your rocky horror skit! you looked wonderful! come see me soon ok? *hugggggu*

so anyway, i'm nursing my wounds from a dirt biking accident that happened when i was in hisperia. my knuckles are all cut up and it took a large chunk out of my left pinky and arm.i have two gashes on my elbow too. *_* it was still so much fun though. i'll definately do it again.

other than that i don't have too much to say. i'm sorry i wasn't around at AX too much. i was busy seeing alan's family and doing other things. maybe next year i'll have the time and money to cosplay.

hey guys, i've decided not to cosplay at AX. i'm sorry, but i haven't had the time to make anything and i definitely don't have the extra money right now considering all our other expenses. i might be around the con for the parties, but more than likely i'll be out doing other stuff with alan like visiting family and stuff. :/ realistically i just can't do the cosplay thing. maybe next year though.

anyways in other news, it's been awhile since i updated. i'm always so tired. i feel like i live at work. they re-instated mandatory 6 days, so i am kind of literally living at work. alan got promoted to quality assurance and got a raise so that helps us out financially, but now we don't even get weekends together which is hard because i miss him. soon i'll probably go to cooperperate.

anyway, i'm absolutely miserable, so i'm going to go now.

the olsen twins are incredible. it went from "awwwwww <3" to "HOLYSHITGAAAWDAAAMN".

lindsay lohan is disgusting, freckly, and her tan-in-a-can looks reallyreallyreally bad. this bitch irritates me. she doesn't have a forehead.. this beast has a fivehead.

hilary diff is cute, untalented, and just waiting to explode into a fat mass of whiteness. if she eats a single french fry, she'll blow the fuck up. i'm just waiting. waaaiting.

anna nichole is looking fine. gastric bypass surgery anyone?

damn, i'm starting to miss the britneys and christinas.. at least those two are fuckable. these young bitches are lacking in the looks department and take themselves too seriously. sigh.

mind you, i can't stand jessica simpson, but that girl has a BOMB body. like daaamn. hahaha... she got the role of daisy duke. britney must be pissed. at least she's in negotiations with playboy... that'll get her some cash for sure. christina is still the shit. i want to see her naked. no... i mean like all the way.


guys, i would make such a great celebrity. i would do everything wrong. i think i might try that someday. :D


< / rant >

jones got knocked out and lakers are tied at the half.

alan is aaaaaall worked up.

i'm up way too early.

i cut bangs and dyed my hair the other night at like 3 am on a whim. alan calls it my "ayu look". i call it "whoops can't see my eyes". :)



( some pics of me from starfest... )

IT'S FUCKING SNOWING.


HARD.


IN APRIL.

i went perfume shopping on sunday :P i already have "youth dew" perfume and lotion by estee lauder but i had to re-stock on miracle: intense because it's limited edition and isn't produced anymore and i love it.

we got alan some stuff called "chrome" by azzaro. while i was there a new designer perfume caught my eye. it's only sold at neiman marcus, nordstroms, and saks 5th ave. it's more expensive than most designer perfumes (like gucci), but this shit smells INCREDIBLE. i know it's kind of pricey but i'm an idiot and i got it anyway. i love it love it love it. and what's weird is that it customizes really noticably to your body oil chemistry. not everyone can wear it successfully. my new scent = angel <3

go here to see the other angel products. i have the perfume in the first link, and i have the lotion and shower gel. i want to get the body glitter (not shown) for expo.

MMMMMMMMMM. *smelling self* :D

next up: new handbag. but instead of being *ahem* unique like everybody else, i think i'm going to buy a plain bag and customize it myself.

so after that alan and i looked at rings. we're thinking the wedding will be in cali. i found this 14k gold band that i want to get him. *_* it's very LotR-ish. i also think i want to color my hair before expo. i'm thinking a strawberry-goldish color. i've had my hair that color before and it looked alright. suggestions? :D

oh, and for your entertainment, a previously unreleased pic from jenny's visit!

sorry i haven't been around in awhile guys. i've been busy working, watching the chappelle show and playing DDR. i'm getting better at it. i can get perfect scores on "light" mode.. soon i shall graduate to standard mode. rofl. i got the ps2 DDRMAX2 and now i kinda wish i had gotten the x-box version i saw at best buy... the songs on mine are weak as fuck and the songs on the x-box one are pretty tight.

<3

i'm thinking of starting a new website to exploit online vanity and make myself a wad of $$. more on that later.