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Thursday, December 2nd, 2004
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2:42 pm
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8:15 am - Hoobastank's The Reason...
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Every time I hear this song, I think about how you can read the lyrics with two different tones.
1. You've made me realize that I need a change, and you inspired that. I want to be with you.
2. You've made me realize that I need a change, and the change is to be with someone else.
Fun fun. Makes you think.
( lyrics )
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| Wednesday, December 1st, 2004
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9:14 pm - My ears are burning...
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I was so flattered by this entry of Ms. ![[info]](http://library.vu.edu.pk/cgi-bin/nph-proxy.cgi/000100A/http/web.archive.org/web/20041202224629im_/http:/=2fstat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) kaleidoscopeeye that I wanted to make sure I had it for my records. Thanks for the wonderful things you said *hug*.
My socks keep rocking
shutterbug is a really amazing woman. She is an old soul in a young body. She is the kind of girl that FEELS things. The friend that is there for you. She is supporting and tender loving. On top of these warm traits, she is also intelligent and fun :) What a package!
I am so lucky to be surrounded with the friends that I have!
current mood: flattered
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9:08 pm
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Must.acquire.electric.blanket. Brrr...
current mood:  cold
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| Tuesday, November 30th, 2004
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2:32 pm - Clothing issues...
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Okay, it has been a damn long time since pants have been too loose on me. Now, before you start congratulating me, note that I bought new pants a few weeks ago that were bigger than my previous stash. It's not that the old ones don't fit anymore, but they were starting to show serious signs of wear, plus some of them were a bit uncomfortable around my tummy, despite the fact that they looked just fine.
So anyway, while my mom was here, she taught/helped me hem three new pairs of pants. Well, this pair I'm wearing today seem a tad loose, which means I feel like I'm wearing hip-huggers, my pants are falling down, and my ass/lower back is showing a lot. Or at least trying to.
It's neat to have pants that are loose, but honestly, was it really worth sacrificing my dignity in feeling like every time I'm going to stand up my pants will fall down? I was wearing these the other night at James's, and I felt horribly embarrassed that they might be falling off when I tried to get off the couch. It doesn't help that getting out of that couch is a challenge anyway. Add on trying to keep your pants on. I felt silly. *blush*
I'm constantly feeling a new breeze. It's still a bit awkward. I don't usually consider myself all too modest, but I try to be moreso when I'm at work. Eek.
At least they're the right length and look good.
current mood:  embarrassed
current music: Santana and Michelle Branch - Game of Love (in my head)
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| Monday, November 29th, 2004
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8:43 pm - Another Monday come and almost gone...
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Today has been a rough one. Due to my late night, I was practically dead this morning when I drug myself from bed. I put my car in the shop for a much needed oil change, thus rendering me vehicle-less. I hitched a ride in with Pat this morning, so there was no swimming for me, and I was in the office by 6AM.
I attended training for the morning, and as far as intro classes go, I have to say that this has been the best overall, non-over-my-head intro on any subject I've ever had since beginning this job. Now, the things I'm learning today and tomorrow are just for well-roundedness. It's not what I'm working on. What is interesting is that it's the work my other friends do. So it's interesting.
But coupled with having to sit still forever while staring at a screen on my lack of sleep, I struggled to stay awake for the entire morning. I would have loved nothing more than to put my head down and sleep. And it didn't help that the room was freezing. For most people, that keeps them awake. For me, it's almost a guarantee to put me to sleep. I get cold, so I want to tuck myself into a ball and drift off. Not good.
The afternoon didn't prove to be particularly productive either. One of the databases I needed was down and will continue to be until tomorrow afternoon. Blah. My last chore for the day was a failure because they didn't carry the item I needed. Erg. My last 30 minutes of the day were supposed to be a quick drop in to James's office. It didn't work out that way. Let's just say I got sidetracked talking to other people, and eventually discovered that I was off 45 minutes ago. Damn.
The gym was a pleasant experience, despite the crowd. I flipped my routine upside down today, just for something new. Mainly, it was so I could chat with James while stretching. The elliptical trainers were all taken as well. Anyway, I lifted and then did cardio. I'm surprised that I'm still awake right now. Between working out and lack of sleep, I should want to collapse.
And I will soon, don't get me wrong.
I wanted to come in tonight, eat, and work on my schoolwork. James and I determined this would be a working week. We both have quite a bit of pressing obligations that we need to take care of separately. But I received an email from my prof in response to my inquiry for an extention. Final final deadline: next Monday. I can so do this. Tonight, lots of rest so tomorrow won't be a dead day. Man, I so want to be free of this crap. I know I put myself in this situation. I know it's only going to get more complicated next semester. But I'll worry about preventing the repeat performance later.
Yesterday, I drove my happy self down to Lancaster at 9AM to deal with some Christmas business. Unfortunately, I was down there a lot longer than planned. By the time I pulled into my driveway, it was 4PM. I quickly unloaded the car and called James to meet me at the dealership where I'd be leaving my car. Finally, we got together, watched some CSI, and had some dinner.
Well, I'm heading to bed in hopes of a brighter day tomorrow.
current mood:  hopeful
current music: Simon and Garfunkel - Bridge Over Troubled Water
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| Saturday, November 27th, 2004
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11:25 pm
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Can't wait to sleep in my own (puppy-less) bed tomorrow night. It'll be nice to just fall into bed instead of having to drive across town to do it.
'Night.
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8:54 pm
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I hate my final. I hate my final.
*does the I-feel-so-screwed dance*
And my printer is refusing to print what I need. Bastard. If this doesn't work, I may take it as a sign to quit for the night. Yeah, it'll put a severe damper on my day tomorrow, but it's my own stupid fault. Damn procrastination.
(Just more things I'm going to have to remedy for next semester if I hope to survive two classes. Yuck.)
current mood:  frustrated
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8:07 pm
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The last thing I want to do right now is work on my final.
With that said, here I go. I just have to keep in mind that I'd rather be doing something else tomorrow instead of this.
current mood: annoyed
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4:06 pm
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My parents decided to leave even earlier. So they're gone now.
And I'm kinda feeling all twitchy about being here on my own. The people I wanted to hang out with are occupied, so I'm left here, knowing that I should work on the final, yet I'm somehow unable to be inspired enough to crack open the books.
Fuck. What the hell is wrong with me lately?
current mood:  lonely
current music: Counting Crows - Accidentally in Love (in my head)
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| Friday, November 26th, 2004
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5:41 pm
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Well, I did two days worth of workouts today to make up for missing Wednesday and Thursday. Normally, I wouldn't do something so absurd, mainly for all the time it sucks away. But I got off work early and I knew my parents wouldn't be back before 5PM. That allotted me some good times at the gym. Plus it's Friday of a holiday weekend. It was dead in there, thus making it very pleasant to work out. No lines, no people, no sharing. Except that one point in every upper body workout in which James and I fight for the 40-lb weight. Punk.
The work day was pretty meaningless. I got in at 6:10AM, though, so I was proud of that. Sadly, I'm a dumbass and miss calculated my time, therefore I was there an hour longer than necessary. Oh well, it makes up for Monday when I took time off to deal with the cable people. I wanted to get more done on my final, but I wasn't really of a functional state of mind. I hate when that happens. So I'm getting a tad worried about when to work on the final. Earliest, assuming I work on it after my parents leave, is Sunday, in which I would much rather be doing a few other things. If I get inspired tonight or tomorrow, I might be able to pull it off. I don't think they would mind too terribly. We'll have to see how I feel.
Tomorrow, I'm hoping to hit The Incredibles again, this time with the parents. Other than that, I have no freaking idea how we're going to kill the entire day. My parents are very difficult people to entertain. And there isn't exactly a ton of stuff to do around here. Fuck. There will be discussions about it, I'm sure.
Thanksgiving dinner was wonderful. Ryan smoked a turkey, and Patty roasted a chicken. Throw in about a million side dishes, and you have one hell of a meal, involving 12 people. It was so nice to sit around at the table like that. Normally, we eat standing up or scattered about lingering upon couches or the floor. Mom and Dad seemed to have a good time, which was definitely a plus. All in all, it was a great meal, especially coming from someone (me) who really isn't a fan of Thanksgiving related foods. Note that my family usually has steak and crab. After dinner, my parents came back to the apartment, and I stayed to talk with Ryan for a while about relationships and some of the nonsense in my head. It's always good to have a male perspective on things. By 10PM, I was at the apartment, and by 11PM, I was asleep at Betty's with the pups.
Well, I've got to jump in the shower before Mom and Dad get back. And on to a fun-filled evening of who only knows what.
current mood: drained
current music: Yellowcard - Ocean Avenue (in my head)
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10:34 am
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I'm involuntarily taking part in Buy Nothing Day. Of course, this means I'm at work today, as 1 of 6 people in the office. So far, I've been here over four hours, and all I've done and sat and talked to Steph and Margaret. Rock.
In the past, I used to be one of the millions of insane people who shop on this day. I used to enjoy it. But as times have changed, I'm still a little sad I don't get to go shopping because of work, yet I'm not upset. In fact, I'm actually proud that I'm not shopping today. Good for me.
Anyway, in terms of shopping, that is for Christmas gifts, I am once again staring at a very short shopping list. I've got a pretty good idea what to get the people I am shopping for, but seriously, there's not a lot going on here. I think this might actually kick off the time of year I really hate. Christmas hasn't been an important thing in my family for years. No surprises. Minimal festivities. I haven't enjoyed Christmas in so many years that I don't even think too hard about it. My favorite part of this season is Christmas carols, though. So pretty :) Also, it reminds me of a time when Christmas mattered. This was when my grandmother was still alive.
For a change, I have a couple of surprise gifts to give. I'm expecting nothing in return, as it should be. I just need to find the time to craft.
My family is difficult to shop for. A.T. buys too much as it. My parents get angry at us when we spend money on them. And buying for Caleb gets complicated because I don't know what he has or likes or needs. In my opinion, he doesn't need anything, really. He has too much crap as it is.
And buying for people here is tough. There are so many of us that it's just taxing on the wallet. So better to skip everyone than have to select and justify.
Check out my Christmas spirit *sarcasm*. Ick. Sorry about this post.
current mood: hungry
current music: Five for Fighting - 100 Years (in my head)
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| Thursday, November 25th, 2004
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12:20 pm - The typical post o' thanks...
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I am thankful for a loving and understanding family who cares very much about me and is very proud of me.
I am thankful for wonderful friends (this includes you, lj friends), both near and far. Without you, I would have to be committed to an institution.
I am thankful for a career that I like overall, is going well, and pays the bills.
I am thankful for great co-workers who make every work day enjoyable.
I am thankful for my health.
I am thankful for the time I have to do what I want.
I am thankful for the ability to communicate with people.
I am thankful for being loved.
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7:51 am
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It's amazing how having visitors inspires people to clean. And I mean heavy duty clean. My apartment has been in dire need of this treatment. I'm just a lazy ass.
My bedroom, the kitchen, and the living room are clean. My office is just not something I want to (or need to, for this case) deal with. We'll see if I get really ambitious here in the next hour or so to tackle my random piles o' crap in my office..
Off to dust and vacuum.
current music: Sister Hazel DVD, concert footage
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5:59 am - How I'm starting my Thanksgiving morning...
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I'm cleaning the kitchen with Denis Leary's No Cure for Cancer blaring from the TV.
It's gonna be a fun day :)
current mood:  silly
current music: No Cure for Cancer
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5:38 am
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4:30AM
Alright. I have the day off. It's a damn holiday for goodness sake. What the hell am I doing wide awake?! Argh!
Well, I've already fed the animals and come home. I'm grabbing me some breakfast before I start cleaning up around here. Last night, that's what I was going to do. But instead, I had some nice AIM sessions with Keagan, inditek, macattack22, and radiatorcliffs. Plus, after almost 8 months or so, I had a real conversation with Keith on the phone.
Do you ever just wake up in the morning, and the question you've had floating in the back of your mind suddenly has an answer? Yeah, that happened to me this morning, regarding some Christmas gift issues. Maybe that's why I couldn't get back to sleep. I was woken up by my epiphany, and the creative juices started flowing. Now here I am. Go figure.
Probably didn't help that the pups were being freakin' bed hogs. Both of them. What the hell?
I guess I'm lucky to have this extra time. I'm also lucky that my sleep schedule is sorta ingrained in my brain now. It's no wonder 4:45AM isn't as hard as it once was.
I get to grab some laps later this morning, and I'm thinking about washing my car come daylight. We'll have to see. For now, it's dishes, making the bed, and picking up all the clothes and random crap lying about.
*stomach growls* Alright, food.
current mood:  awake
current music: Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow - Picture (in my head)
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| Wednesday, November 24th, 2004
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10:31 am - Medical crap...
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There are days I miss being under my parents' medical plan. First, they paid, not me. Second, their coverage was way better than what I have when it comes to dental and vision, the only two things I really need to begin with.
I called the dentist regarding the 6-month cleaning I'm overdue for. That's going to run me $75, and the insurance company will refund me about $20. Big whoop.
I called the eye doctor to price what I need done. I'm almost due for a yearly exam (I went mid-December last time). I've noticed my presscription is kinda out of whack, so it's probably time for new contacts and new glasses but only the lenses since I absolutely love my current pair :)
Exam: $92 total ($43 copay)
Single vision lenses $35 copay plus $12 copay for plastic lenses or $35 for polycarbonate. So that totals out from $47-70.
Contacts: $60 per eye, therefore $120. No coverage.
So look at those figures, a trip to the eye doctor and acquisition of new items will run me...*old school calculator sounds for fun*...$233. Holy shit. And I still want prescription sunglasses, but again, I think they will be on the back burner for a while longer.
I'm also hoping to see a nutritionist, but I expect that just to be a $15 copay. Thank goodness.
Okay, yeah. Pricey. I'm going to ditch the cleaning until the yearly one come March/April. But I'm going to cave to the eye doctor, but I'll probably wait till after the new year. I'm not desperately in need of this, but it would probably be a good idea.
Damn me and my shitty eyesight :P
current mood: hungry
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| Tuesday, November 23rd, 2004
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10:41 am
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One of those days. I'm just functioning on minimal brain capacity. Meh. I don't really know what's wrong with me today. But I did swim, and it was probably that action I should thank for even being able to move around.
I've also had songs stuck in my head all day. The first one was "A Pirate's Life" from Pirates of the Caribbean. Now it's "She Will Be Loved" by Maroon 5.
Yeah, I don't get it either.
I talked to my dad a while this morning, and of course he went on a massive rant about my brother. Most of it was driven by money and expenses. I swear the man is going to give himself a heart attack if he doesn't start to chill out a little. I also need to make the time to sit with my brother and help him, not yell at him, to try and get him more aware of his spending. I know it took me getting out here on my own to get a clue, but my parents aren't in the financial position to save his ass and pay unnecessary fees for being overdrawn or late on payments. Erg.
I feel so old, looking at my 22-year-old brother and thinking, "Damn kids, how can they be so irresponsible?!" I used to be irresponsible. Then I was out on my own, paying out the ass for rent and my car payment, and I absolutely had no choice but to heavily monitor my own spending. And what do I have to show for it? In under three months, I will have my 24.94% interest, $3600 balance credit card paid off. For the first time in over 3 years. I'm quite proud of myself, thank you very much.
*Mel silently appreciates getting her own shit together*
current mood: proud
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| Monday, November 22nd, 2004
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9:20 pm - Now that's service...
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All my items from Best Buy are here already. Awesome :) I'm ripping Beethoven's Last Night right now.
I don't have a lot to say tonight. I'm heading to bed. Laps in the morning.
current mood:  blah
current music: Sister Hazel - Change Your Mind
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8:29 am
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THREE YEARS AGO, I:
1. was finishing my last fall semester of college
2. I was interested in four people, all of which actually gave me the time of day
3. I was a confident punk :)
ONE YEAR AGO, I:
1. was working here
2. settled in
3. crushing hard on someone I couldn't do a thing about
YESTERDAY, I:
1. finished 3/4 of my final for school.
2. cooked dinner for James and myself
3. saw National Treasure
TODAY, I:
1. woke up and swam 500-yd breaststroke at the gym
2. gave up blood and urine for my physical
3. talked to Betty about house-sitting this weekend
TOMORROW, I:
1. swim again
2. work
3. will have to clean up my apartment for my parents' arrival
THREE ITEMS I HAVE BRAND-LOYALTY TO ARE:
1. Quaker Instant Oat Meal
2. Lactaid Lactose Intolerance Pills
3. Smuckers Strawberry jam or preserves
THREE SONGS I KNOW ALL THE WORDS TO ARE:
1. Barenaked Ladies - Shopping
2. Sister Hazel - Life Got in the Way
3. Billy Joel - Scenes from an Italian Restaurant
TOP THREE LOCATIONS I'D LIKE TO RUN AWAY TO ARE:
1. British Isles
2. New Zealand
3. Boston
FIRST THREE PEOPLE I CURRENTLY THINK ABOUT ON A DAILY BASIS ARE:
1. James
2. A.T.
3. Lewis
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