Journeying Machine Engineered for Sabotage's Journal

1:16am: So I got a raise and a free iPod today, and got an extra day off but the same number of hours through schedule changing this week, giving me my first non-working, non-requested weekend in six months.

I am satisfied.

4:43pm: alexd4656 (12:01:37 PM): are you talking about redundant, seemingly endless work? or being a total badass?
Auto response from Dimastines (12:01:37 PM): Sisyphus ain't got nothing on me.

alexd4656 (12:01:43 PM): because if its the work
alexd4656 (12:01:49 PM): remember you have one thing sisyphus doesn't
alexd4656 (12:02:05 PM): looking downable shirts
alexd4656 (12:02:15 PM): sisyphus just has to look at his own tits

5:24pm: I know I'm probably a little late, but do me a favor.

7:37am: Nice to hear from Matt.
CharvelMatt (7:27:12 AM): Jimmy, Absinthe is quite possibly the greatest liquid ever invented.

Auto response from Dimastines (7:27:12 AM): Warcraft

CharvelMatt (7:27:17 AM): God I'm fucked-up.
CharvelMatt (7:27:21 AM): And it's my birthday.
CharvelMatt (7:27:23 AM): Beyotch.\
CharvelMatt signed off at 7:27:29 AM.

6:22pm: Living is breathing in, breathing out
live in a life of black and white
Nightmares dont hurt so much when they arent in the dark
Memories fixated on colour
(blue) God, im turning
(blue) God im turning
We all just wanted a beautiful mistake
Baby, with a second chance you could have made it
All you had to do was come back
Just breathe and dont look at their faces, all as blank as yours
Hearts breaking in time
Life was made of second chances
Didnt want to try for another
Satisfied with all the regrets you bare
You knew you were a beaufitul mistake that everyone wanted
We all just wanted a mistake like you to put our names to
To scream at the heavens
To make fate not seem so cruel.

1:44pm: Things were so much easier when i didnt have to say it all
You could finish the parts that hurt
Or just leave them unsaid.
When knowing satisfies all those things that others question

6:39am: Me And The Moon
Weekend was quiet excellent plus.
Saw something Corporate last night; theres something about the piano and the open night surrounding you that is beautiful. Veronica didnt appriciate the fact that Andrew jumped on his piano. Something close to it being violated against i guess. I thought it was lovley, but then again i relish watching a hardcore pit.
energy + passion = fucking things up

For some reason i like some violent things, they're beaufitul.

How i love the fact that i can walk down Queen Street and randomly run into so many people that i adore. After catching the train with cameron and elysse i ran into the dear Charlotte and co. Then jen. what are the chances.
Saw Helen and Stasia aswell. Helen says that Stasia and i are the most emo childern she knows...who didnt cry once that night though huh! Rachale and Alex turned up aswell suprise suprise. Oh and i caught up with various people ive never really met but figured fate would draw us together eventually (which obviously it did).

Oh and i talked to Terry. The homeless man that was a busker but thought he sucked, and he remembered me! He told me that he learnt something from me and i told him how id learnt something off him. However im not sure what he learnt off me. That doesnt really matter though. Im going to find my wooden peace pipe to give to him next time i see him. Maybe his talents just dont lye in the tamborine, but he might kick ass with the recorder.

Friday night was fun. However if i really stop to think about it i can think of ugly moments ( friends. breaking hearts. songs possesing old memories. showing souls. honesty. regret ) , but ive got a good way of earsing them so i just remember the nice ones...like dancing and not caring, and seeing people i havent seen in a long time (like the beautiful Prudance) and living for the moment and thinking about tomorrow when it came.

Crying...was one of the scariest things. I am meant to be stronger than that.

ps: i love people filled with passion. Passion that leaks form every possible part of their body and makes them move with a sort of electric current running through them. When it eats into their bones and when they think about it makes them dance funny like they are trying to extract a spirit or an invisible person is pulling their body around on a string.
i love feeling like things are bigger than you, when they fill your body completly with excess somehow managing to fit.

4:34pm: I'm officially a car-owning, certified and insured driver.

Car bought and paid for, tag, title, and registration in my name. License and insurance achieved, all in time to go to Salsa's for a late lunch.

Whoa.

9:54am: There was a casual swim and nothing more.

3:37am: Of work, and other things.
You may know of the great invention, the cart stall. It's quite amazing. It holds carts well, making cart-wrangling a more bearable task. You've all seen them, you know what cart stalls are and what they're for. You know how great an invention they are.

And being that the customers at the store are so awesome, they're constantly innovating the cart stall, making it better. For example, they've made the cart sidewalk, and the cart empty parking space. There's the cart handicapped spot, the cart island, the cart sitting-next-to-the-car. Some truly enterprising folks have even come up with the cart right beside the cart stall, and the cart blocking the only walking paths. There have been a few failures, such as the cart other side of the parking lot, sadly, but all of these attempts have returned the two greatest innovations in cart technology in decades: the cart middle of the fucking parking lot and the cart middle of the one way lane.

Truly, we live in a magical age.

2:02am: http://www.inthesetimes.com/site/main/article/cold_turkey/

3:35am: I uploaded the best song in the world since some of you may not have heard it. And I haven't updated this beast in a while, so I figured cross-posting it would settle in lieu of actual content.

Oh, yeah, if you see me online tomorrow afternoon at anytime, please, please remind me to call Dylan's mom. I haven't had any chance to get in touch with her at a decent hour recently, and I really wanna know if she's heard anything.

9:26am: Last night was goddamned beautiful out.

4:17am: I don't feel like editing that entry, but I think I should make a new one. I don't really know why, per se, but I do, and so I am. This is a new entry. What's been happening lately?

New job at the grocery store. The ol' supermarket, if you will. It's not the most exciting or the most fun or exciting or fun at all. But I'll tell you what it is: it's goddamned easy. I just stand there and move shit across a little scanner all day and I make the same small talk with different people all day. And I get paid. And when things are slow, my co-workers are pretty much all cool. And my bosses, oh the hundreds of managers and customer service people and supervisors and oh so many bosses, they're all pretty cool.

I haven't done anything particularly fun lately. I've seen Nathan a few times, seen Chris for a little bit one day, and that's all. Hopefully I'll make time to do something this weekend.

I've also seen Dawn of the Dead, which is kick-ass. And I've... no, that's all I've done. But no torture, no cherry orchard here. And if there were, I'd be pickin' the fuck out of one. Because I can honestly say I'm not not a happy man. It's pretty inexplicable. I guess it's related to having something filling the days up. Or maybe it's having a reason to form big plans, big plans. There are a million things.

Now I just need people to do things with. So it goes.

4:12am: Right, so it strikes me that a million people out there haven't heard this, so I'm gonna do my part to correct you fools. Get on that.

1:07am: LumUruYat signed on at 1:05:14 AM.
LumUruYat (1:05:47 AM): For those were the days of gods...
LumUruYat (1:05:54 AM): AND OF DEMONS.
LumUruYat (1:06:09 AM): Holy Jesus do I love Princess Mononoke.
LumUruYat signed off at 1:06:34 AM.

Best AIM conversation ever.

9:52pm: I sure do like it when rappers make references to things I love.

10:26pm: Update
Totally hating on everything like a goth over here. Short list:
Sister
People Naderhatin'
People Kerrylovin'
Counterculture
Culture
Weird sleep habits
Not knowing if I got a job for another week
No plans
No money
No life

5:57am: I2ed Baron (3:12:44 AM): I2ed Baron (3:12:48 AM): Alright man.
I2ed Baron (3:12:51 AM): No more.
I2ed Baron (3:12:57 AM): No more cigarettes.
I2ed Baron (3:13:00 AM): Hold me to that.
I2ed Baron (3:13:11 AM): Seriously, now.
I2ed Baron (3:13:31 AM): Unless I'm drinking, and then only cigars

Lies.

7:22pm: 'Bout fuckin' time.

5:05am: HEY JONATHAN:





Its name is Bunchies and it brings peace and luck.

9:44pm: I know Sidetalkin's gettin' pretty played, but the more times I see it and the more pictures of it I see, the more I like it.

12:21am: Doom brings the shock.
http://www.totalobscurity.com/mind/news/2003/saddam_kurds.htm

Who knew?

1:49pm: Everyone watch 60 Minutes tonight, particularly the Paul O'Neill interview.

2:08am: Willpower.
The very idea doesn't make any sense to me. I mean, I know what the deal and I've seen it in action, but it just isn't a very logical thing. I guess it's so foreign to me because I've never really struggled with doing or quitting anything and thus had to will my desires. That's part of it, but I guess the biggest thing that I don't understand how anyone can have such little control over their actions or mindset that they'd need to literally fight with themself about doing something they want to do for whatever reason.

Take smoking, since it's pretty prominent in how people can't seem to quit despite promises and such. I can't figure out how it's so hard to go a week getting cravings. I mean, sure they're bad (How bad? Well, bing that I've never had 'em, I dunno, and that's on an individual basis, anyhow.) and sure it's tough, but is it really that hard to not drive to the store, ask and pay for cigarettes, then smoke them? I mean, really? It seems like, at least for people short on cash, it wouldn't be that hard to not grab your wallet. Or to say, "Hey, I've got ten bucks left. Why should I spend five of it on cigarettes?"

Can someone please explain to me what it is about things that make them so hard to quit or, in some cases, start? And why it's so hard to just not?