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[11 Jun 2004|04:10pm] |
i feel a bit melancholy and physically distressed -- shitty, if you will. i'm going to read a bit of my new Nicholas Sparks novel, watch Casablanca, and take a warm, relaxing hiatus in the bathtub. then i shall get dressed, powder my nose, and clash a cup of wine down at the winery with a small group of friends.
i shall be social later, but right now i want to be left the hell alone.
ps. johnny depp won 'best male performance' at the MTV Movie Awards last night. mtv made me believe that johnny was going make a real life appearance at the show, although deep down inside i knew the inevitable. he was in france and he accepted his award via satellite. he's soooo fiiiine.
sigh.
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[10 Jun 2004|12:50am] |
LETHARGY
Pronunciation: 'le-th&r-jE;
Function: noun
1 : abnormal drowsiness
2 : the quality or state of being lazy, sluggish, or indifferent
3 : a deadening of the mind and senses by shock, narcotics, or intoxicants
4: Rachel's state of being circa SUMMER 2004
because i have been lazily wading through a pool of sloth, i am currently seeking a beneficial way to flush my body of fatigue-inducing toxins, brighten my dull skin, and improve the overall tone of my body. that way i will have the physical movitation to kick my fitness routine up a few notches as well as eat in a manner that supports healthy living.
while i was contemplating the best eating routine for me personally, i considered which aspects of my body i would am happy with and would like to enhance and which body parts i am not too keen on and hope to completely rennovate. i think skin care is oh-so-important and since i have been prone in the past to flawed skin, i thought that improving the glow of my skin would be a good place to focus. typically when we focus on skin, we get all sorts of fringe benefits such as brighter whiteness of the eyes and enhanced shine of the hair.
conveniently i just recently saw a plug for a lifestyle organized by a famed dermatologist by the name of Perricone. his book, The Perricone Prescription, advocates the elimination of "inflammatory foods" from one's diet and embrace protein and essential fats. in other words, give pizza, pasta, and beef the boot and replace them with salmon, halibut, and trout. since i was raised on super-healthy menues that usually featured fish, i think this is an excellent idea for me. the downside? fish is definately a bit more expensive than a box of noodles or splitting a pizza with the roommies.
furthermore, even if i choose to keep things cheaper and easier by simply cutting portions in half and eating much healthier in general (which i really have been attempting to do), that transition period from junk food free-for-alls to rabbit food is the hardest part of all. therefore i have decided to commit myself to a medically-sound short-term water fast. i have thoroughly researched the advantages and disadvantages of such a process and conclude that i am a perfect candidate.
i've been broke all week and we don't have shit to eat anyways. don't get much cheaper than straight up water til next payday, right? second, i have a very stable immune system and rarely get sick so i will only be doubling my body's defense system by cleaning the toxins out. thirdly, in this florida heat i need to force myself to drink five times the amount of water i have been taking in.
from what i've researched, by the second or third day of a short-term fast, one's hunger diminishes and the body feels lighter. respiratory functions are cleaner, metabolism stablizes, and mental clarity reaches an all-time high. then you are able to slowly merge back into healthful eating. spiritually and mentally you are better equipped for a healthy lifestyle. it is even recommended that a person conducts a 36 hour fast once a week or a 3 day fast once a month to continue the cleansing process all year.
since i know you are all so interested in this exciting time in my life (yeah...right), i'll keep you posted. perhaps if this is a successful venture for me, you all may wanna give it a shot as well...you know, just for shits and giggles.
i'm going to throw back a glass of water and hit the sack. wish me well.
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[08 Jun 2004|05:07pm] |
i don't know what you heard about me...but i'm the muthafuckin' P.I.M.P.
and i'm very tired from lack of sleep...hungry from lack of food in the A.P.T...and i have very little to say right now.
do you know the muffin man?
the muffin man?
the muffin man.
do you know the muffin man?
...who lives on drury lane?...
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[08 Jun 2004|01:48am] |
Happy 20th, Sparkle!
Wish the St. Auggie crew could be together to crunk it up on this oh-so-joyous occassion. You know I would hook you up with most CHOICE cognac if I could. Have a good one!
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[07 Jun 2004|12:51am] |
in order for me to achieve happiness, i must always be in goal-oriented circumstances. i have to have some sort of ongoing creative project in my horizons in order for me to be healthy. i'm the type of girl who enjoys waking up in the morning with that first thought focused on some sort of abstract objective. yes, it should be abstract. i think better in abstract terms. i'm not a big fan of ticking off chores on a to-do list. i don't like specific, detailed obligations as much as coasting towards a broader destination.
for example. if i were to wake up tomorrow morning with an index card on my nightstand listing "1. post office 2. grocery store 3. registrar 4. beach 5. work" i would be completely disgruntled. i hate running errands unless they include me going to the mall and Ross with a loaded checking account in search of a new pair of shoes. no, these are not the types of exciting goals i speak of. i'm talking about those thought-enticing, soul-titilating endeavours that really get my motor purring. i'd much rather have an index card on my nightstand that said "1. convince station manager that the interior of the radio station needs to be redecorated 2. construct a small-scale model of ideal radio station interior 3. write first act of original screenplay 4. get one more flirty step closer to snagging that hot salesfloor manager at work for a fabulous night on the town 5. plan an itenarary for a future statewide road trip for closest group of friends". yes, these "chores" seems much more fun but really take much, MUCH more thought and work than the first to-do list. many people would opt to take a few hours finishing a smaller, more detailed and simplistic routine list than building a small-scale model of their radio station or writing 20 pages of manuscript.
that's why some people are content being a fulltime cashier their whole lives doing more repetition on an hourly wage than working in a project oriented environment. some people prefer performing one task by the hour while others are more outcome-based. i'm definately the second and would rather have to solve problems, be innovative, and utilize my creative juices than drown in daily monotony.
this is why i rarely fit in with other cashiers at my side jobs and this is also why i switch jobs all the time.
i can't wait to score a job that i love.
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[06 Jun 2004|03:06am] |
i love that i can reach a point of clarity when i write my thoughts out. sometimes when you try to make sense of your muddled thoughts inside your head, you'll never sort things out. but when you force yourself to articulate the confusion into a form that other people can understand it, suddenly it all works.
it all works.
i think i may be a bit neurotic.
oh and as a sidenote and yet another "duh" comment...this little ol' town is about as boring as the come. yet another saturday night devoid of any true excitement. hit up another local bar in which i couldn't drink therefore had no business being at because everyone else was sloshed. hit up the local steak n' shake in which a booth full of townies decided to jump into our conversation -- uninvited.
i think my ongoing man-chase challenge is running dry and i need to start another goal-oriented man endeavour to keep me entertained. mmmmmm...hottie fillin' out them khaki work pants might be a good one to move on to....yeahhhhh...
i'm going to sleep. potentially yummy day at work tomorrow. ;)
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[05 Jun 2004|11:51pm] |
the thought patterns of men and women are, from what i have gathered through years of careful observation, vastly different. at least this is what i have come to believe within my own estrogen-soaked brain. while there is a small percentage of men who tend to analyze or even think through their actions, if you will, women take the cake when it comes to OVERthinking every scenario that comes their way. i can't decide if i am an overanalyzer or if i am completely justified in the way i interpret the actions of the opposite sex.
i am not seeking out advice or second opinions on any current "boy drama". i think that men and women completely magnify their relationships or lack thereof far too much. maybe if we put less thought into everytime someone looks at us crosseyed, there'd be less angry feminist music, less self-help books, tabloid romance horoscopes would scatter like dust in the wind, and -- as a downside -- we'd never would have had the joy of seeing meg ryan fake an orgasm in a new york deli because romance-analyzing movies like "When Harry Met Sally" would never be produced. what an entirely different world this would be if we tended to UNDERanalyze more than the other way around.
in a nutshell and in a very beating-a-dead-horse type of fashion, i conclude that women think too much and men think too little and the fact that both sexes are too far off both ends of the spectrum of human thought is why over half of marriages end in divorce, why miller light commercials paint men as complete bafoons, and why women resort to sitting alone on saturday nights chugging vodka straight from a bottle and wolfing down Ben & Jerry's while watching Sex and the City with their other overanalyzing, disillusioned friends.
and the human relations war ensues.
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[04 Jun 2004|07:54pm] |
Rachel, you're a Politician!
Your personality is actually determined by two personality sub-types - your primary, or dominant sub-type, and your secondary sub-type. You are a Politician which means you are a Success / Golden Your primary sub-type is defined by "Success" characteristics and your secondary sub-type is defined by "Golden" characteristics.
That means you're forceful, innovative, and popular with the masses. Chances are you aggressively pursue your goals, and you enjoy impressing people. You've always been surrounded by friends and loved ones and have a natural sense of showmanship.
How do we know all this? How do we know that you're perfect for any work that requires personal interaction? How could we have divined that you would never say anything that offends anyone — at least to their face?
Because while you were taking the test, you answered four different types of questions — questions that measured confidence, apprehension, willingness to take risks, and your focus on experience versus appearance — the primary traits that determine your personality. Based on your responses, we determined your personality type, Politician.
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| I need more proof that I actually have friends or that anyone reads my journal. |
[04 Jun 2004|07:47pm] |
1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Do you have a crush on me?
5. Would you kiss me?
6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
7. Describe me in one word.
8. What was your first impression?
9. Do you still think that way about me now?
10. What reminds you of me?
11. If you could give me anything what would it be?
12. How well do you know me?
13. When's the last time you saw me?
14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
15. Are you going to put this on your LiveJournal and see what I say about you?
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| I'm Your Quintessential Scorpio |
[02 Jun 2004|03:02pm] |
*SCORPIO*
SYMBOL: Scorpion
ELEMENT: Water
GROUP: Intellectual
POLARITY: Negative
FAVORABLE COLORS: Dark reds and blacks
KEY BODY PART: Reproductive Organs
OPPOSITE SIGN: Taurus
LUCKY GEM: Opal
PERIOD: Oct. 23 - November 21
BASIC PROFILE: Passionate, vibrant, magnetic, perceptive, emotional, sensual, alert, willful, determined, resourceful, purposeful, directed, dominant, ambitious, fearless, committed, intense, but can be obsessive, extreme, vengeful, jealous, spiteful, unforgiving, bully, menacing, possessive, arrogant
source: www.horoscope.com
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[01 Jun 2004|09:39am] |
i'm extremely tired and yet i still have many long hours of work and driving ahead of me. i woke up @ 5:30 this morning to allow for showering and primp-related tasks before i head out to the station...now i have a mindblowing five minutes to rest before i spend most of my day ringing up lawn chairs, barbies, picture frames, and detergent...aiyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy...
i'm going to stetson university this evening to hear my sister perform with her masters workshop group. it'll be nice to see mom and steph for a few hours. after tonight's little rendezvous, i may not see anyone from my family for several months.
screw the move, for real.
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[27 May 2004|09:41am] |
so i was up until about 3am this morning watching "pearl harbor" with kristin. this was stupid because i had to be up at 8am to be ready for work by 9. you know that disgusting feeling you have when you've only had 5 hours of sleep and a whole day of repetitive and not-so-rewarding work awaits you? i moved in slow motion through that for an hour this morning, attempting to look awake by being very attentive to my hair and makeup. i drive to work and finally i'm somewhat awake and while i'm not excited about being there, i've accepted it. i clock in and am ready to face the day.
then i'm told that my schedule was mixed up and i am not supposed to be in to work today. "sorry 'bout that. you can go ahead and clock out and go home."
wtf?!
i'm glad i don't have to face the army of picture frame-loving, beach towel-buying mothers and their hungry, antsy, sweaty children who are throwing a temper tantrum because they want to go to mcdonald's and get a happy meal. however, it really sucks to have forced myself out of bed, taken a shower, slapped on a bunch of makeup, blow-dried the hair, and used up more outrageously-priced gas just to be told that i'm not needed. now i'm back at home and ready to get back to some serious Z's and i can't because i'm now fully awake. gah!
on top of that, my mom and sister will be in deland on friday through tuesday and i have to work every single day that they are here, which frees up absolutely NO time to visit them. holiday weekends are a bitch...it would be nice to get that paycheck tomorrow and head out to the mall and get some new summer threads and some new fun makeup. however, i owe $125 for cable, dsl, and utilities and then i owe over $200 for rent the next week...plus i have to get gas...and i want to be able to have some spare money to keep my bank account open.
my appetite has wittled down to nothing. i'm not sure if it has something to do with the fact that we've been so poor and so busy making money so we can continue to be poor that we haven't had a lot of time to grocery shop so i've been, inevitably, fasting...or because i have some kind of subconcious nerve problem that's probably both money and hormone related. i just don't know. i all i know is that i'm having issues putting the grub down and while i'm sure that's a good thing for trimming down, i'm positive it's bad for my nutrition and immune system.
maybe i'll crawl back in bed and try to fall asleep. it shouldn't be hard to make a date with mr. sandman...i am running on empty, after all (both figuratively and literally)...
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[26 May 2004|12:23am] |
me and my newly renovated posse spent three hours at the beach today. none of us had work which is pretty miraculous considering all of us work 35+ hrs a week at our respective jobs. anyways, we all got a considerable amount of color on our sexy sexy bods and i, for one, am about 5 shades darker than i was yesterday. crazy stuff. my arms got pretty red but it's one of those tan/burns...obviously completely unhealthy. my skin is screaming "WRINKLES AND MELANOMA" right now but i'm just another one of those dumb young people living in the "now". and while i'm trying to stretch my dinero to the limit so i can pay rent and all the extra stuff like water, DSL, cable, etc...i still managed to temporarily justify a trip to the nail salon.
but my cuticles were really bad, people.
anyways, our little midday outing proved once again that two people can act completely nonchalant about pending intimacy issues like nothing ever happened. and you know what? i'm not going to stress about it anymore. what's done is done and what will happen will happen.
i sported the new swimsuit with all the hotness i could muster and i will continue to workout and eat in the healthy fashion that i have thusfar and continue to enjoy this little transformation i am undergoing.
PS- screw this low carb/no carb propaganda plaguing american marketing. if you honestly think that because you skipped out on the bakery roll at dinner and instead stuffed your face with a pound of bacon, you're on your way to looking like jennifer garner -- you're sadly mistaken. you're on your way to severly clogged arteries and a horrible weight loss lapse. poor, poor sheep we have in our society.
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[25 May 2004|09:43am] |
dan tells me that it's become quite competitive within the station as to who gets the good shifts come fall. he asks me what my intentions are and if i plan to be aggressive with my schtick @ WFCF. well, dan still has yet to grasp Rachel in her entirety because let me tell you something -- i am not a morning person and i've been coming into the station @ 6:40 AM every Tuesday for a while now and i've done live remote and i've thought of countless ideas for the station and i love flapping my jaw behind that mic. most importantly, i am extremely competitive so if i need to "fight" to be ms. premiere DJ @ The Reason, i will and it'll be no skin off my back, that's for sure.
here's a little tidbit i shared with my listeners this morning that you can tell your friends -- cyndi lauper was performing at an outdoor concert this week and in the middle of one of her particularly famous songs, a bird swooped over head, took a shit, and got a hole-in-one. yes. right in cyndi's kisser. yech. the best part is that she gracefully wiped her tongue on her shirt and finished the set. apparently cyndi was shit on the head by a bird during a concert before. seems that her pink hair is a crapolla-magnet...time after time...like, haha.
i guess we're heading to the beach around noon today. it's gonna be a scorcher out! don't forget your SPF!
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[24 May 2004|12:18pm] |
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i watched "Driven: Outkast" on Vh1...they are so amazing. southernplaylisticadillacmuzik and aquemini are amazing, yes...but stankonia has to be my personal favorite. shiiiiit...makes me wanna wile'out.
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[24 May 2004|01:14am] |
i hate it when i become fall victim to a heat-of-the-moment situation with someone i barely know...and then you wake up the next morning thinking "oh god. what did i do?" only this type of situation is not a coyote ugly scenario -- i'm not waking up wanting to chew my arm off because this guy is asleep on my arm and i don't want to wake him. no, this is an "oh god. did we just fuck up a something potentially good?" this was me waking up, taking a shower, and sitting in my bedroom in my chair, looking at him across the room as he slept, doing that over-analyzing thing that girls often do. that whole thing when you run the night through your head a million times because it's been burned in your memory permanently.
and i hate those 48 - 72 hours of guessing. was it all just hormones? was it the liquor? was it because both people are coming off of a intimacy dryspell? or did it have something behind it? you want to spend time with the other party so you can do more analyzing and figure out his feelings for you. this is bad because you shouldn't spend an otherwise wholly enjoyable evening misinterpreting the other individuals every word, gesture, and reaction.
your friends will tell you "just talk to him..." but is it really that easy? not so much. i'm the type of person who likes to be in control of situations and i like to know what's around the corner. i'm not going to jump head-first into a one-on-one conversation until i know somewhat where he's coming from.
this situation is tricky.
verrrry tricky.
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[22 May 2004|08:46am] |
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what an interesting night last...very interesting. funny how a few glasses of wine and couple mixed drinks can manipulate a seemingly innocent situation.
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[20 May 2004|12:52am] |
so this evening kristin was downstairs watching a "friends" re-run on the TBS when a promo for an upcoming reality series began to play...suddenly a very familiar face flashed across the screen.
yes, our dearest friend and fellow flagler student laura is on "outback jack", competing against other women for the heart of an australian stud. we found the website and are super excited about watching laura do physical endurance races to win a guy. knowing laura, if he isn't giving her the attention she feels she deserves, she'll half-ass it with a "i don't give a shit" attitude. maybe this means she'll get eliminated first, but that's our no-bullshit southern bell for ya.
here's the link if anyone cares. most of the girls are pretty...how do you say...fugly? click contestants and go to laura to see her picture and funny little bio. all i know is that mr. down under is a real hunka-hunak burnin' love.
http://tbssuperstation.com/series/Show/0,,16200,00.html
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[17 May 2004|12:25am] |
Usually I have very good comedic timing. Tonight I think I bombed. I thought I was on fire in one of my long-winded jests but I went a little too far by bringing up a friends' personal pangs for the expense of a laugh. Of course, I was attempting to get a laugh from him, but only got an uncomfortable cough-kind-of-laugh and then I got really warm and then realized that I put this person in a bad place. It was horrible of me. I rarely fuck up like that, but I guess we're all bound to screw up from time to time. Sometimes I just need to learn when to stop.
Dammit!
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[16 May 2004|02:20pm] |
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
--Albert Einstein
As a wise man once said, "If only stupidity was painful." Then maybe more people would hesitate before talking in such a stupid manner. If stupidity was painful, then a few people I know would need a hefty supply of horse tranquilizers.
::shakes head in sadness::
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