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come relieve yr unhappy childhood

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[29 Apr 2003|05:33am]
[ mood | patrick bateman ]
[ music | Blink-182 - Take Off Yr Pants And Jacket ]

my cat killed my hamster.
tore his face off.

rip
'whitey'
sometime in 2002 - april 28, 2003
"he has big nigger balls"
-jerry cowan

so.
i did what any 18 year old in search of vengeance did.
i shot the cat.
unfortunately, it didn't die.
so i can't fill out an obituary.

but if i did, it'd read:

stick icky icky:
june 2002 - april 28, 2003
"the stupidest fucking thing in the entire world. more stupid than nina. now a pain in satan's ass."

GOD I HATE CATS.
i probably should've used something higher grade than a pellet gun....
oh well.

but jesus CHRIST she didn't have to crush him in her jaw.
or tear his FUCKING FACE OFF.
it all went downhill when i started letting that thing eat styrofoam.
-

in other news:

i am incredibly bored.
braindead.
mopey.
blareiaognaeoigja
that sums it up.

19 Love Taps s| Deviate|Inspire

dear gort: [26 Apr 2003|01:00am]
[ mood | uRgh ]
[ music | The Smiths - The Headmaster Ritual ]

25th April 2003
12:19pm: BUH
My doctor is on vacation so I had to see a total stranger who told me I have to avoid stress and I am FAT.

take that, drew's mom.
you lethargic old stalker hag.

a kiss from my ass,
jerrad

3 Love Taps s| Deviate|Inspire

news on the little retards from litany: [26 Apr 2003|12:05am]
[ mood | ohmy ]
[ music | Radiohead - Fake Plastic Trees ]

just incase it's already been posted )

1 Love Taps | Deviate|Inspire

[22 Apr 2003|03:35am]
dude the sconspiraxy didnt block the post
i am hacking threough
Deviate|Inspire

attn: disembrainer [19 Apr 2003|10:02pm]
[ mood | demented ]
[ music | New Order - Vanishing Point ]

get your punk gothboi nether region on AIM.
seriously.
HEH.
dude i made a duke deathly drum beat with my mouth today.

it was all

fk fk fk fkfkfk
fk fk gah twitch gah
gah gah twitch fook gah
fkn + ++ ++ +rad fk

3 Love Taps s| Deviate|Inspire

[16 Apr 2003|11:57pm]
[ mood | ps i drop you ]
[ music | Radiohead - Packt Like Sadines ]

It was on April 17th that LSD was synthesized by Dr. Albert Hofmann at
Sandoz Labs in Basel, Switzerland in 1943

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ACID!

30 Love Taps s| Deviate|Inspire

[14 Apr 2003|05:04am]
[ mood | DIE DIE DIE++boringDIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIETUNADIE DIE DIE ]
[ music | KRS 1 And Goldie - One One (The Burial) ]

god.

all this past year has been nothing but CRAP.
WORTHLESS WASTED TIME
BUT OH!
how i cared so much.

things i learned in the past year:

1. never, ever, ever give yourself to anyone. you need no love from anyone at all. not even yourself really, just border the line of angst/hating yrself. you'll probably come through.
IF NOT,
there's always a lunatic with a pistol and 5 chambers ready to ditch the smoking thing for an easy $20.

2. stay AWAY from the nasties.

3. stay AWAAAY from the drugs. like, even now, i think, man.... this time well spent with my sister would be alot more fun if we were high. really high. SKY HIGH. december 27th, 2002 HIGH. i'm talking "SHIT MY HANDS ARE CHANGING COLORS" high. but... as of now, i guess i'm in the mid-mode, kind of .... man, i should really be at work more often. and if i'm not scheduled, just hang out there and read magazines or sip shitty dark coffee. actually.... all i do now is just sip coke and burn cds and walk. like i'm lost. i'd like to strangle precisely 18 people until their fuckig eyeballs squeeze themselves out of the respective heads.

4. imitating black people for your own personal self esteemal pat on the imaginary is a good thing.

5. parachute ass.

6. since this post is public i will omit such things as **** ****** ** * *** ***** * * * * ***** * * * ****** * *** * * * *** * * ** so there.

7. i'm thinking of making a resume! i think i'll list best traits as A MILD ANOIANCE. that would be perfect! goooooooo third grade grammar test. vroom.

8. livejournal is an accursed beast. it's like the aids virus. it just grows and grows and gets worse with each hard-step. duh-chen-duhduh-chen-chen-chenchenehcchhhhhhhhh. whatever.

9. maybe animals only stick close to you because they're afraid of you? say it ain't so...

in the past oh say... 3 MONTHS i have come across by far the best music has to offer me.

neworder. boardsofcanada. autechre. miracalix. depechemode. fadgadget. sUchre. chemlab. kid606. cex. all that good stuff like mama use to make back in the year.
[speaking ov ye mother[e] dearest, her thoughts on my situation are as follows, "i'll break that bitch's face open with a claw hammer.". "cokehead, go to bed.".

"my biggest hobby was dancing at grateful dead concerts. WOW. a SIPPY STRAW."
kill me please

one day.
one day...
i'd like to have a job where i'm not required to wear a name tag.
NOW THAT'S demeaning.
but at the same time, it's too boisterous for me.
it's like HEY HO HERE'S MY NAME SHOVE IT.
maybe that's why i added a STOPshrink[fuckyrmoralsshrinkrocks]jerrad unto my nametag.
HE'S GOTTA BE STOPPED HE'S A FUCKING MONSTER.
"oh MY GOD i was just talking to him about how much money -->I<--- make an hour and he told me to go bite the head off of some guy's dick and then he forgot was he was talking about. why does he have that stab wound on his ribcage? the FUCK."

i hate women.
i hate women.
i hate women.

i think one day i'll find a really nice girl who's just absolutely BUTT ASS UGLY with missing teeth and crooked glasses but has the UTMOST OF BRILLIANCE personality.

i need to go shower.
i have a date with my mother.
and sadly,
i'm serious.

gun in mouth...

oh yeah, papos, i can freestyle. you're the only one allowed to here it.

3 trips to make in the next 3 months.
BETTER GO BUY SOME MESCALINE FOR THAT BIG RAVE!

ps: whatever's left of my brain, i'd really like to destroy. i'm already as ignorant as an old mule, so what's the difference? maybe if i can't think i won't be able to feel emotion of any kind. then i can enlist in the military and become the next section8.

plz be afraid of me.
THE FAINTohmy

7 Love Taps s| Deviate|Inspire

[11 Apr 2003|05:19pm]
[ mood | angry ]
[ music | Radiohead - I Might Be Wrong ]

A green plastic watering can
For a fake chinese rubber plant
In the fake plastic earth

That she bought from a rubber man
In a town full of rubber plans
To get rid of itself

It wears her out, it wears her out
It wears her out, it wears her out

She lives with a broken man
A cracked polystyrene man
Who just crumbles and burns

He used to do surgery
On girls in the eighties
But gravity always wins

And it wears him out, it wears him out
It wears him out, it wears him out

She looks like the real thing
She tastes like the real thing
My fake plastic love

But I can't help the feeling
I could blow through the ceiling
If I just turn and run

And it wears me out, it wears me out
It wears me out, it wears me out

And if I could be who you wanted
If I could be who you wanted
All the time, all the time


however, i wonder if it's worse for a person you care for to die, or to outright leave you..
father stereo and i discuss this all the time.

1 Love Taps | Deviate|Inspire

amt quote of the year [05 Apr 2003|06:22am]
[ mood | !!! ]
[ music | Linkin Park - Meteora - 07 - Faint ]

Subject: Big Mistake No.2034...
From: "Mark Shea" zadeja@hotmail.com
Date: 4/5/03 2:25 AM Central Standard Time
Message-id:

...accepting head from a girl who's been drinking Bailey's, when you have a
skin allergy to dairy products.

Mark Shea

8 Love Taps s| Deviate|Inspire

[05 Apr 2003|03:54am]
[ mood | anxious ]
[ music | Great Expectations Soundtrack - Her Ornament - The Verve Pipe ]

what a strange memory.

to you, bain of satan,
your new car sucks.

Deviate|Inspire

[05 Apr 2003|01:40am]
[ mood | apathetic ]
[ music | Sum 41 - Hell Song ]



no one told me he went amish... gosh...
7 Love Taps s| Deviate|Inspire

[04 Apr 2003|08:52pm]
[ mood | sick/sad ]
[ music | Download - Left The Radio On ]

10 hours.

10.
hours.

Deviate|Inspire

[02 Apr 2003|04:07am]
[ mood | happy ]
[ music | kid606 - :gq on the eq: ]



bye everyone.

the..fuck.. is that pumpkin doing there?


oh memphisto how i missed thee.

today was a really, really, really nice day at work.
one of the best i've had so far.

after work, turd [i don't know why they insist on calling me this now], amanda, jessica, and adam went to go play mini-golf at that shitty putt-putt course across the street from work. i so bogey'd the ball. we had a bunch of fun. i stared at amanda's butt the entire time. word of my acid dropping and faggot kissing leaked about work, so i still grilled for it to this day. faggot mark williams. A HEX ON YOUR SOUL.

then i came home and kim informed me at steve had a dub with no one to smoke with.
i had gin.
and we were down.
we found a tent in some girl's back yard, zipped it up, and smoked our brains aut.
then we got really paranoid and antsy and came home.
then hotboxed my bathroom.
WE WERE FUCKED.
i kept twitching.
like..
GAH
FOOK
[TWITCH]
FKN
HEH
RAD
++RAD

i found some lady's purse today.
she's a regular customer.
and i'm not a thief.
regardless of the 300+ dollars in it.
so i got it back to her.

i really appreciate my job more and more.
it's like, i used to think it was all degrading and shit, but now i actually get along with all but 4 people at work.
rockin!

i don't care if people think i'm a junkie because i smoke pot, OCCASIONALLY.
usually after an 8 hour shift.
the opinion of me from others i don't really talk to/care about either way doesn't matter to me.
think whatever you want to. say whatever you want, regardless of how big of a dick it makes you look.
free country.

but still, i lay in bed tonight, and autechre's "amber" starting to scare me.
i haven't been this high in years!
god bless you little orange haired nuggets. bless you.
we even said a prayer before we started driving to some rich girl's house to feed her demonic k9s.
i went something like "dear jesus please don't let any of us go downtown due to inebriation or something. amen!" and like jesus is the man and we didn't get arrested.

mom's cool about the whole leafy green issue.
which is kind of neat, in a way.
"man. we used to smoke two bags of that back in the day and you wouldn't imagine the shit i did. i was ms. party gal number 1. don't ever tell your dad about that though."
smoke buddy number 1.

i stole a golfball from that shitty golf place.
fuck that dollar drink shit. losers.
your cokes were flat when me and the wisconsin fag and the michigan butthole were there.
and your blue ass dyed motherfuckin water gets on my nerves too.
and how the fuck did i fall out of your garbage can?
you need to anchor that shit properly.

ps:

http://www.shacknews.com/screens.x/afsincity
Grand Theft Auto: Sin City will be released October 21st on the PS2.
only 7 months of waiting to go!

still contemplating as to whether or not to shave the shitty throat diet beard thing.
i look like a pre-puberty kurdish refugee.

one day, i'll win a contest in which i'm given the entire tb6/warp discographies, til then, i'll keep doing my homework and drinking plenty of milk before bed-time.
22 Love Taps s| Deviate|Inspire

[01 Apr 2003|06:29pm]
[ mood | nervous ]
[ music | kid606 - kiddy needs a new pair of laptops ]

They do the sand dance, don'cha know?
If they move too quick
(Oh-Ah-Oh),
they're falling down like a domino.
And the bazaar man by the Nile
He got the money on a bet
For the crocodiles
(Oh-Ah-Oh),
They snap their teeth on a cigarette.
Foreign types with their hookah pipes sing:
Oh-ah-oh-ah-ooo-aaa-ooo-aaa,
Walk like an Egyptian.
The blonde waitresses take their trays,
Spin around and they cross the floor.
They've got the moves
(Oh-Ah-Oh),
You drop your drink then they bring you more.
All the school kids so sick of books,
They like the punk and the metal band.
When the buzzer rings
(Oh-Ah-Oh),
They're walking like an Egyptian.
All the kids in the marketplace say:
Oh-ah-oh-ah-ooo-aaa-ooo-aaa,
Walk like an Egyptian.
Line your feet astreet, bend your back,
Shift your arm, then you pull a clock.
Like Sergeant O (Oh-Ah-Oh),
So strike a pose on a Cadillac.
If you want to find all the cops,
They're hanging out in the donut shop.
They sing and dance
(Oh-Ah-Oh),
They spin their clock and cruise on down the block.
All the Japanese with their Yen,
The party boys call the Kremlin.
The Chinese know
(Oh-Ah-Oh),
They walk along like Egyptians.
All the cops in the donut shops say:
Oh-ah-oh-ah-ooo-aaa-ooo-aaa,
Walk like an Egyptian,
Walk like an Egyptian.
-

i don't know what to do right now.
two girls.
what should i do?
i like one more than the other..
but i've always made the wrong decision or what i feel is the wrong decision at the end of the road..
but i really like this girl.
so much so, that i'm willing to give up smoking, hard drug use, and go off to college..
i think i'll tell her how i feel.
i know how she feels.

as for the other girl...
i don't know.
she's a sweetie too.
i never thought i'd be attracted to someone with fire red hair.
but not freckles!
no freckleface cornmouths!

i'm leaving for memphis in t-minus 9 hours.
the joy.
the heartache.
the corona.

1 Love Taps | Deviate|Inspire

after 10 hours at work; [28 Mar 2003|05:35pm]
[ mood | wankers. all of you. ]
[ music | kid606 - just another kool kat looking for a kitty ]

you know, every day like a wormhole i continue in to, i AM replay.
deja vu.
hey this happened.
why is this happening again!

i don't care what's going on in central ummqsaramillionmilesoff.
i don't care that dead marines were recovered.
i don't care about battle scene footage.
i don't care about a hijacked plane. blow it up. who cares?
"well wolf, it appears those coalition bombs were duds", said Aaron Brown [the most nasal throated ASSHOLE on CNN] snidely.
"my parents were both alcoholics", cried wolf.

the point is i don't care. i don't know why people are surrounding me and talking about this mighty war going on the sandy desert off in who gives a fuck.
or how matt lauer's head is smoother than a cueball.
or how fat and disgustingly heavy catherine zeta jones is now.


go find this song on a p2p service.
download.
enjoy.

i swear, everyone born in greenwood becomes progressively more stupid.
WANKERS!!!!
ALL OF YOUUUUU WANKERS.

seriously.
everyone should just turn off their tvs and wreck the nielsens, and smash your radios to crash the billboard tops.

4 Love Taps s| Deviate|Inspire

[26 Mar 2003|11:14pm]
[ mood | cold ]
[ music | Air - People In The City - Jack Lahana ]

"i am feeling very warm now. please, don't disappear. i would be happy with just one minute of your hours."

dude. dude.
dude.


morte
mortie.

i am prepared to get very messed up tomorrow night.
and only to be back to pay a union i disagree with friday at 8.


10-4
10-4

i don't miss sex.
i miss affection above all. the warmth of someone else against me.
even if it were to be once every few weeks.

Deviate|Inspire

[25 Mar 2003|07:36am]
[ mood | oh my ]
[ music | kid606 - relive yr unhappy childhood ]

bleh.

a work weekend full of 606 & friends.
life's peachy.
made two mix discs for girl mom wants me to know better.
she listens to tori amos.
this is better than tori amos.
turd.

the end.

1 Love Taps | Deviate|Inspire

*sigh* [25 Mar 2003|03:09am]
[ mood | horny.inlove ]
[ music | the tear garden - hide the bomb in your coat ]

*beautiful*

8 Love Taps s| Deviate|Inspire

[24 Mar 2003|10:35pm]
[ mood | woohoo! ]
[ music | Kid606 - Defective Boy ]

taken from litany:

March 24, 2003

HILT PREVIEW


Update::: Corey

Well, I've been enjoying the new Hilt: The Worst of the Flu disc for past few days and I figured I'd give everyone a preview of what to expect. This is the last CD in the From the Vault subscription and it finishes the series on a superb high note. The core musicians present on this album are cEvin Key, the singular Al Nelson, and Dwayne Goettel. Also making appearances are a pre-Pink Dots Ryan Moore, Dutch Harrison, Chris Sheppard and Betsy Martin. The album features material from the Flu, the project which evolved into Hilt but which was previously only heard on some obscure cassette releases, through unreleased tracks from both of the Hilt LPs and to top it all off, three tracks recorded by cEvin and Al in 1996 for a proposed new Hilt LP that unfortunately will never be.
The Worst... is an eclectic mix of all of the various styles that Hilt delved into. The are bursts of punk fury like Staminate that lay somewhere at the convergence of John Zorn's Painkiller, Throbbing Gristle, and your favorite local hardcore band. There's cEvin's trademark assimilation of reggae and dub sounds on tracks like Roll One Up. Their half-mocking take on late 80s/early 90s alterna-rock previously heard on tracks like Superhoney shows through here on songs like Lyin on the Floor and Empty Day. Patsy and the brief Interlude offer a rare snippet of cEvin's lyrical electric guitar in what might've been what Center Bullet or Film would've sounded like had Skinny Puppy been a rock band. The 1986 Flu electro –madness classic Ichabod Crane features cEvin's vocals and lyrics written in 1976. Hilt always showed the band’s humorous side and this album continues that trend with tracks like Beefcake, which is sort of akin to Skinny Puppy riding along on a trip to the circus by a child who is afraid of clowns, and their take on piano balladeering, My Shit Behooves Me. Yet the honesty and poignancy of the 1996 demo No Lessons Learned, "dedicated to all friends lost", cannot be denied. The smoky barroom-bred Dig Me Colder, also a 96 demo, could easily be one of the best tracks ever to come out of this project.

Basically, this album has something for everyone and yet somehow feels like a coherent whole in the process. The Worst of... is anything but. It gives us a look at the heretofore unseen mass of private material that Hilt's LPs have only hinted at. If one is heading your way, be excited.
-

this is the release i've most looked forward to.
obviously Lord cEvin has saved the best for last.

5 Love Taps s| Deviate|Inspire

entry 666: becoming your #1/stalker over night [24 Mar 2003|07:59pm]
[ mood | !!$ ]
[ music | Cex - eleven million dollars worth of bearer bonds ]

HELLLLLOOOOOOOO little retards!

cex, rjyan kidwell, 606's number 2, with this public post, i do say, check this stuff out:

Cex - Oops!, I Did It Again - 02 - Eleven Million Dollars Worth Of Bearer Bonds
Cex - Cells - 01 - At Least One Unwilling Passenger On Keith's Ego Trip
Cex - Cells - 02 - BSNBC
Cex - Role Model - 04 - Wall Street Kid
Cex - Role Model - 01 - At Least I Can Say I Tried

cex is like what afx wishes he was.
and drukqs was a two disc junk.

afx is comedy++1.
madonna to make pig noises.
then she cancels.
hArGh!

i think when you're just stuck, IDM fits the perfect mold, it's like...it appeals to your brain. not your party sense.
i can't just listen to rap muzak forever.
or maybe i can.
and maybe i will.
you like that?

it's time to get up and do something!

but where...

columbus? [to live with/close to ye olde disem ov brain 'r, my only friend, but he's mean to me lately, i think we're growing apart.]
seattle [this is the one i'm leaning towards. rain. discoteques. rain. rain.]
memphis [oh home.]

2 Love Taps s| Deviate|Inspire

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