My sad, sorry, selfish cry out to the cutter [entries|friends|calendar] My daily life writes as a eulogy [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

IM NOT OK I PROMISE [18 Nov 2004|09:21pm] [ music | friends ] I FEEL AS IF I MADE THE WORST MISTAKE EVEN THOUGH IT WASNT MY FAULT ~shanda If you want

[13 Nov 2004|12:55pm] [ mood | touched ] what now bitches 7 Can live like Jack & Sally| If you want

[13 Nov 2004|11:36am] [ mood | accomplished???? ] well this lj is gunna be friends only now cause im tired of people reading it and not knowing who i am or people I HATE reading it so haha fuck u...oh and a friends cut to im taking all u guys off so u HAVE TO COMMENT TO BE ADDED.... ~shanda 2 Can live like Jack & Sally| If you want

[09 Nov 2004|08:04pm] [ mood | bored ] [ music | the used ] FRIEND SURVEY prettiest:all of them seriously tease:well jennas not my friend but if she was it would be her tallest:loni,troy shortest:cory,me,kim most likley to take over the world:gangsta nation=macy most likely to streak at graduation:cory! stripper:MACY!! lol be in a band:ryan,danika,me,norma be a model:kim(for some reason be famous:loni=singer actress/actor:loni,or ryan best hair:macy,kim,ryan,troy best eyes:KIM,ryan,norma nicest:danika,troy(monotone!) best dressed:all of us realllly prettiest smile:ryan,norma,troy best personality:all of them most likely to be in a got milk add:me im a sellout,troy? lol kill avril lavigne or HILARY DUFF(THAT BITCH SHOULD BURN!!) dependent on others:jenna IF SHE WAS MY FRIEND independent:loni,norma,macy most talented: biggest drugie:TROY,MACY AND ME TIMES 99999 drinks the most:TROY,MACY AND ME TIMES 99999 most likely to be a serial killer:MACY THE SHANKER biggest gangsta:MACY!! shanker:MACY!!!! WHICH ONE: pop or rock:rock rap or r & b:neither punk or metal:both,but punk pop punk or emo:ummm,both? soda or water:diet coke tattoos or piercings:both!! compolation cd or mix tape:mix tapes are sweeter guitar or bass:guitar drums or guitar:drums spongebob or patrick:patrick!! black or blue:both!! pink or purple:neither sandals or shoes:converse STEAL THAT AND FILL IT OUT! ITS MADE BY SHANDA!! 3 Can live like Jack & Sally| If you want

[09 Nov 2004|05:31pm] [ mood | thirsty ] [ music | horse the band~cutsman ] WOW TROY IS THE COOLEST EVER!! i saw a drug free poster rolled up in the trash can in my 7th period classroom and he took it out for me so i kept it!! well its kinda stupid cause it has motorcycle riders on it and they go to the desert to get high(thats mine and troys theory)ok isnt this a total oxymoron on the top of it it says flying high and the midlle it says drug free.ok sure their drug free and o tomorrow at lunch im going to the main quad to get a drug free wrist band that troy got anyone wanna go with me to get one?!? anyways ya troy is the coolest.... ( could you be my thousand fucks? ) 2 Can live like Jack & Sally| If you want

[08 Nov 2004|06:07pm] [ mood | curious ] anyone have the new used cd and wants to burn it for me please and hawthorne heights?!?!? ILL LOVE YOU FOREVER 8 Can live like Jack & Sally| If you want

[06 Nov 2004|06:24pm] [ mood | accomplished ] [ music | slipknot-everything ends ] omg...people feel happy for me.... IM OVER HIM,IT ONLY TOOK ME LIKE 2 MONTHS anyways and its weird i seriously dont have a crush on anyone rite now 10 Can live like Jack & Sally| If you want

[26 Oct 2004|08:03pm] [ mood | gloomy ] [ music | real world ] ( i want you back <insert name here> ) If you want

[24 Oct 2004|03:14pm] [ mood | rejected ] [ music | hawthorne heights ] IVE GOT A SINGLE SILVER BULLET SHOT RITE THROUGH MY HEART TO PROVE I CANT SURVIVE WITHOUT YOU hawthorne heights can sum up how i feel in one line of their song! ANY ONE WANNA BURN THE CD FOR ME PLZZZZZZ 6 Can live like Jack & Sally| If you want

i stole this from macy who stole it from troy and kim [23 Oct 2004|11:43pm] [ mood | wanting a boy!!! ] [ music | saturday night live ] ( Do me after u read this ) 3 Can live like Jack & Sally| If you want

[23 Oct 2004|08:45pm] [ music | MICHAEL JEFFERSON SOUTH PARK!!!HELL FUCKIN YA ] now this is what im talkin about.... + = FUCKIN EMO LOVE 6 Can live like Jack & Sally| If you want

[23 Oct 2004|06:34pm] [ mood | depressed ] I hate being alone...i would trade in anything just to stop feeling like this and to have someone that can make me happy.... 9 Can live like Jack & Sally| If you want

[22 Oct 2004|07:44pm] [ mood | bored ] [ music | friends 8th season dvd ] ok so heres some sweet saying i found.omg some of them i sooo relate to ok all of them i relate to!!!! A girl asked him if he thought she was pretty, he said..no. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever..and he said no. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry? and once again he replied with a no. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face, he grabbed her arm and said... Your not pretty, your beautiful, i dont want to be with you forever, i NEED to be with you forever, and i wouldnt cry if you walked away... i'd die *Its not like I wanted to be the one holding your hand... I just didn't want her holding it...* No guy is worth your tears & when you find one that is, he won't make you cry. Love Is When You Don't Want To Go To Sleep Because Reality Is Better Than A Dream Never start frowning because you never know who's falling in love with your smile Who do u turn to in life when the only person that can make you stop crying is the one who made you cry? There's a smile on your face that lets me know that you need me, there's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me, the touch of your hand says you'll catch me whenever I fall, you say it best..when you say nothing at all It's not being in love that makes me happy, it's being in love with YOU that makes me happy Wanting him is hard to forget Loving him is hard to regret Losing him is hard to accept With all the pain i've felt Letting go is the most painful yet Sometimes you have to Hold your head up high Blink the tears away And just say goodbye but how come i cant seem to say goodbye? The worst way to miss someone is to have them right next to you knowing you can never have them Would it be wrong If I missed you when you're gone? Would it be okay If I let my insecurities push you away? Would it be alright If I kissed you goodnight? Would you even care If I told you that I'm scared? Would it be the same If I told you this was all a game? Would you still love me If I put you through misery? Would you still hold on and miss me if I was gone? Not being with you, Im falling apart. Because I don't know how to get to your heart Forget the times he walked by, Forget the times he made you cry, Forget the times he spoke your name, Remember your feelings aren't the same, Forget the times he held your hand, Forget the sweet things if you can, Forget the times and don't pretend, Remember now he's just a friend Some people are only alive because its illegal to kill cough jenna and hilary duff cough I'm feeling a little off today... anyone want to turn me on I'm not anti social, society is anti me A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail, but your best friend is the one sitting next to you saying "that was fucking awesome" The spaces between your fingers were created so that another's could fill them in 4 Can live like Jack & Sally| If you want

PLEASE FILL THIS OUT.... [21 Oct 2004|04:06pm] [ mood | jealous ] [ music | bouncing souls-new day ] please fill this out so i feel special 1. Who are you? 2. Are we friends? 3. When and how did we meet? 4. How have I affected you? 5. What do you think of me? 6. What's the fondest memory you have of me? 7. How long do you think we will be friends? 8. Do you love me? 9. Do you have a crush on me? 10. Would you kiss me? 11. Would you hug me? 12. Physically, what stands out? 13. Emotionally, what stands out? 14. Do you wish I was cooler? 15. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I? 16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it. 17. Am I loveable? 18. How long have you known me? 19. Describe me in one word. 20. What was your first impression? 21. Do you still think that way about me now? 22. What do you think my weakness is? 23. Do you think I'll get married? 24. What makes me happy? 25. What makes me sad? 26. What reminds you of me? 27. If you could give me anything what would it be? 28. How well do you know me? 29. When's the last time you saw me? 30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't? 31. Do you think I could kill someone? 32. Have we ever had sex? 33. Do you miss me? 34. Do you think i miss you? ok now... dont u guys think this soooo true... SIGNS OF FLIRTING *guys* 1. She makes eye contact and smiles at you. 2. She hits you softly on the arm and laughs when you say something funny. 3. She flips her hair when she's talking to you. 4. She touches your arm when she talks to you. 5. She says, "No, I'm not telling you who I like!" with a big smile on her face 6. She asks you who you like or who you would go out with seemingly interested. 7. When you go to the movies with a bunch of your friends and she is almost always next to you. 8. She criticizes you on a girl you like. 9. You catch her staring at you. 10. She plays with your hair or tries to put make up on you. 11. Her friends outside of school and in school know about you, and says she talks about you a lot. 12. She knows your phone number and address. 13. She will try and talk, and spend time with you as much as possible *girls* 1. He stares at you a lot. 2. He hits you a lot. (just play hitting ) 3. He uses the first thing that pops into his head to start a conversation with you 4. He yelled, "Hi!", to your mom that day she picked you up from school. 5. He blew off his buds to go see "Run Away Bride" with you cuz you couldn't get another girl pal to go and didn't want to go alone. 6. He tries to make you laugh anyway even if he gets hurt in the process 7. His voice gets softer ("Hey, you") when ever you two talk. 8. You hung up on him. He called you back. 9. You where invited by him to a group outing. 10. He called you to talk about nothing at all. 11. He imitates your laugh. OK, you do snort sometimes. Which makes you laugh even harder. 12. He remembers little things you mention in casual conversation. 13. He sometimes stares straight into your eyes. 14. He every possible way to touch you (your hair, face, butt, thighs,ect.) ya so now comment ur ass off!!!! 7 Can live like Jack & Sally| If you want

[20 Oct 2004|06:15pm] [ mood | its "my" fault ] [ music | slipknot-*"i wanna slit ur throat and fuck the wound"* ] ok so hmm update....i dont know lately i feel like i cant trust anyone...i mean i can trust norma its just we get in a lot of fights over stupid shit like fuckin blaine! and u know it s"my fault" they havent broken up itsike fuck u norma brake up with him! but whatever ya shes so rite its so "my fault that he grosses her out" fuck that! that pisses me off.and i HATE liking HIM so much knowing he doesnt like me back like that anymore.its just being around him everyday makes me want him even more.but i love being around him being that hes one of my really good friends. BLAH!!!life was easier when boys had cooties!!!lusting after someone that doesnt like u back sucks!! believe me ive liked him for awhile and then i threw it away its like when something starts going rite i find a way to fuck it up.he was my good thing but then i threw him away now i want him back and i know i cant have him back.but what sucks most of all is it WASNT MY FUCKING FAULT!!! i hate crying........................ 4 Can live like Jack & Sally| If you want

[17 Oct 2004|09:50pm] [ mood | excited ] [ music | hawthorne heights ] My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul mrclimmie goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as Ho. ___danceparty tricks you! You get a toothbrush. a3skiba482 gives you 5 orange watermelon-flavoured gummy worms. comeontomyhouse tricks you! You lose 1 pieces of candy! innocenteyeslie gives you 6 white pineapple-flavoured gummy fruits. metalmaster666 gives you 6 purple cola-flavoured nuggets. poisonkiss6 gives you 2 light blue spearmint-flavoured miniature candy bars. rosesarexdead tricks you! You lose 16 pieces of candy! shatered_image gives you 18 blue pineapple-flavoured gummy worms. suicde_lullaby gives you 5 red-orange peach-flavoured gummy bats. unfittobeyou gives you 10 blue cherry-flavoured pieces of bubblegum. mrclimmie ends up with 35 pieces of candy, and a toothbrush. Go trick-or-treating! Username: Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern. of course im gunna get candy from the guys im a ho!! MACY U DIDNT GIVE ME ANY!! oh ya i get MACY LOVIN' from you even better!! If you want

[16 Oct 2004|02:26pm] [ mood | gloomy ] [ music | bouncing souls-HOPELESS ROMANTIC ] so ya lately hmm nothings been happening..ive been regretting so much lately...well not so much just a really big thing i did and i hate myself for it.even though MAYBE it was for the best.i really dont even know anymore.all i know is that it smy fault and so is everything else lately.or so everyone says.and what sucks about that the most is im starting to believe it all.Ive also relized im a hopeless romantic... well IF YOU GUYS LOVED ME YOU WOULD COMMENT!!!!! [ ] been drunk. [ ] smoked pot. [x] kissed someone. [x] rode in a taxi. [ ] been dumped. [ ] shoplifted. [ ] been fired. [ ] been in a fist fight. [ ] broken a bone [ ] got hit by a car. [x] snuck out of your parent's house. [ ] been arrested. [x] gone in a mosh pit. [ ] stole something from your school. [ ] celebrated new years in times square. [ ] went on a blind date. [x] lied to a friend. [ ] had a crush on a teacher. [ ] celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans. [ ] been to europe. [x] skipped school. [ ] thrown up from drinking. [ ] lost your sibling. [x] played 'clue' [x] had a sleepover party. [x] went ice skating. [ ] cheated on a bf/gf. [ ] been cheated on. [ ] had your tonsils out. [ ] had a car. [ ] Totaled a car Do you... [ ] feel loved. [x] feel lonely. [ ] feel happy. [x] hate yourself. [ ] think youre attractive. [x] have a dog. [x] have your own room. [ ] listen to Hawaiian Music [ ] listen to underground hip hop [ ] listen to rap. [ ] listen to rock [ ] listen to country. [ ] listen to reggae. [ ] listen to techno. [ ] have hobbies [x] have more than 1 best friend. [ ] get good grades. [ ] play an instrument. [x] have slippers [x] wear boxers [x] wear black eyeliner. [x] like the color blue. [ ] like the color pink. [ ] like to read. [ ] like to write. [x] have long hair [ ] have short hair. [x] have a cell phone. [ ] have a laptop. [ ] have a pager Are you... [x] ugly [ ] pretty. [x] ok. [ ] Handsome. [x] bored. [ ] happy. [ ] bilingual. [ ] Hawaiian. [ ] Samoan. [ ] Filipino. [ ] Korean. [ ] British. [x] white. [ ] black. [ ] mexican. [ ] asian. [x] short. [ ] tall [ ] realistic [ ] sick [x] mad [x] lazy. [x] single. [ ] taken. [x] looking. [ ] not looking. [ ] talking to someone. [ ] IMing someone. [x] scared to die. [ ] horny [ ] tired. [ ] sleepy. [ ] annoyed. [x] hungry. [x] thirsty. [ ] on the phone. [x] in your room. [x] drinking something. [ ] eating something. [ ] in your pjs. [x] ticklish [x] listening to music [x] a virgin 4 Can live like Jack & Sally| If you want

[12 Oct 2004|10:24pm] [ mood | depressed ] [ music | mountain ] ALL I WANT IS THIS BOY __ __ __ __!! TIMES 438658436872 + 9 u guys know WHO im talking about!! 3 Can live like Jack & Sally| If you want

[11 Oct 2004|02:03pm] [ mood | artistic ] [ music | Alkaline trio~stupid kid(THE BEST SONG) ] DONT ENTER IF U CANT STAND PERVERTS/BONERS....... THE BEST FRIEND IN THE ENTIRE WORLD AND ME... ( I'D DO EVERY PERSON IN THESE PICS ) 4 Can live like Jack & Sally| If you want

i hate this feeling.... [10 Oct 2004|08:42pm] [ mood | sad ] [ music | meet my maker ] ok this weekend...hmm friday me and norma hung out with skye.he was actually cool.hes actually u wont believe me if u know him but he was actually sweet. omg ive realized i can find at least one thing good in everybody.anyway saturday omg!!!! danika,me,norma,ryan,blaine(dont know y he was there) and sarah(fuck that bitch) went to the mall.let me just say I LOVE THE FOLLOWING:NORMA,DANIKA, AND RYAN!! U GUYS MAKE ME SO HAPPY!! ive realized i couldnt live without my friends they are the only things that keep me sane at this point in my life.macy was suppose to go to the mall i dont know what happened to her.troy said she ran away to russia....hes rite!! lol I LOVE TROY!!!I STALK HIS SEXY ASS!! im over ivan and ivan porn im done!! any ways mall was ok.but i have to seriously force myself from crying my fucking eyes out...i dont know this weekend i have cried so much,and i hate it crying makes me feel so weak!anyways i regret somethings and some of u know what they are...ryan you know what im talking about... ANYWAYS ILL LEAVE YOU WITH A LINE FROM A SONG I CANT STOP LISTENING TO AND A QUESTION U MUST ANSWER TRUTHFULLY.. i want the truth from you even if it hurts me.. NOW U MUST ANSWER THIS TRUTHFULLY... what do u like and dislike about me? i really feel like some people say they are my friends but they say shit about me...just tell me the straight truth so i can improve myself!! please!!!!ill love you forever 12 Can live like Jack & Sally| If you want

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