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Sunday, December 12th, 2004
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4:43 am
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| Tuesday, November 2nd, 2004
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9:59 am - I can hear the twangy drawl coming near
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I was standing in line, waiting to get my ballot, when I heard a minute long conversation between a couple of people behind me, over the matter of which of the two lines they should be in. The lines were seperated by two large cards, one of which said "A-K", pointing to one line, and another that said "L-Z" pointing to the other. Even after a minute of debate, they had to ask the poll assistant which line they should be in. She pointed out the signs and read it to them aloud incase they were illiterate. And even after that, both of the electorate extraordinares had to ask "... So, where would 'O' be?", and "Ohh, so I'm over there too, then? Where does 'G' go?"
Oh yes... these are my fellow voters.
Any Canadians need a room mate?
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(5 martyrs | Execute)
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| Monday, September 27th, 2004
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11:54 pm
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In order to better understand the people around me, my brain creates an package of all the information and interactions I've had with each person. If it's a one-time, short meeting, chances are the package won't even be kept. However, I've been noticing something happening with the packets I continue to build. When I get to know people in a more detailed fashion, the information I store on them actually becomes another entity, or personality, living in my head. I can use it to second-guess people's motives (decently well unless my emotions are involved), predict behavior, and whatnot. Sure, that all makes sense, in the basic requirements for human social interaction. But sometimes, when I'm in the midst of self-dialog, a comment will come from one of my detailed profiles on my friends. Nothing intriguing, just average catch-phrases of that person, or an odd quip about my prior privately thought.
This makes me think that perhaps the schizophrenic disorders arise from the vary basis of what makes us a unique species. In order to hunt prey and cooperate socially, humans have to be able to observe, record, and predict behavior. People would say to hunt an animal, you have to get inside its head... but really, it's getting inside your head. Maybe it's those ghosts of memories that talk to me, and in a more perplexing case, become reality in a severe-schizophrenic's head. To exemplify further, I'll use Vivian, my girlfriend. Most days, we're together for a good 80-90% of our waking hours. We're often in my truck, or room, so I'm used to conversing without her in sight. Her presence is so built into my head that when I think of something I know she'd find funny, and she's not there, I still begin to talk and turn to my blind spot. Before I go to turn my head, though, it feels as though she's right there, I can "feel her presence" (like you might "feel" someone enter the room.) The false presence almost feels like another appendage or something, it exists in three dimensional space to my senses, but is connected to me. I can feel that those senses are a hallucination, and exist only in my brain. The second I see the empty seat, the presence disappears from "reality", and leaves me with a disappointed feeling in my gut like I just received the news Vivian died. It's hard to explain, as you can tell by my incoherency.
current mood: action potential central
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(2 martyrs | Execute)
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| Monday, August 30th, 2004
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8:46 am
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How did I come to be so fucking boring?
current mood: dull
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(5 martyrs | Execute)
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| Thursday, June 17th, 2004
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6:15 pm
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I'll sure be glad when Vivian gets back from Purgatory, and I can be in a fake-attitude free environment. Hooray for saying what you think!
current mood: bored
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(1 martyr | Execute)
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| Friday, February 27th, 2004
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8:16 am
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Rory's going to LA for the weekend!
current mood: ecstatic
current music: Catscan - Rotten
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(4 martyrs | Execute)
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| Sunday, October 26th, 2003
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9:18 am - Burn, California, Burn
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The air's an acrid yellow, foggy with smoke. I think the sun should be tinted all the time. Partially burned brush is floating through the air, like black rain. And a halo of bright blue sky hugs the horizon.
current mood: peaceful
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(5 martyrs | Execute)
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| Sunday, October 5th, 2003
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8:16 pm
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"Marge, your pro-mop, anti-horse agenda has been clear for some time now."
current mood: damned film history!
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(3 martyrs | Execute)
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| Wednesday, September 24th, 2003
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9:22 pm - ::nudge:: Sooo, about that No on Recall, eh?
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The California governor recall vote is on for October 7th. Unfortunately it's a bit too late to give you the link to register, but if you are registered, take the few minutes out of your day to vote no on the recall, and we won't have to worry about hearing Arnold Schwarzenegger's voice and agenda for the next year some. Ever think about that? A YEAR. ::shivers:: Every vote counts, especially when you're doing it for my personal benefit. Mmm... sweet benefits...
current mood: zygorific
current music: FFVII in-game music
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(1 martyr | Execute)
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| Sunday, September 21st, 2003
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9:16 pm - Zygo Pics
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| Sunday, September 14th, 2003
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3:03 pm - I suppose caffeine makes hair alert, too?
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I was just looking through the ingredient list of my Ice hair spiker (a great styler), and found these fun things: quite a few liquid-form polymers (such as vinyl and PVP), modified corn startch, coffee extract, phospholipids (the little guys that make up your cell-walls), caffeine, and catalase (a digestive enzyme?)
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(1 martyr | Execute)
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| Sunday, September 7th, 2003
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11:20 am
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"He felt no jolting motion inside his small cube of glass and leather; it seemed to him that his car stood still, suspended over the ground, while the control of his hands on the wheel made the earth fly past him, and he merely had to wait until the place he desired came rolling to him."
current mood: hungry
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(6 martyrs | Execute)
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| Wednesday, August 13th, 2003
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9:51 am - Sweeeeet
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| Tuesday, August 12th, 2003
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7:40 pm
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Best vote no on the California recall... ooor eeelse! ::Shakes fist Homerly::
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(7 martyrs | Execute)
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| Tuesday, August 5th, 2003
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4:43 pm
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I hate the world, and to a lesser degree, everyone else. So I removed some people from my friends list.
Goodbye!
current mood: chipper :-D
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(16 martyrs | Execute)
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