I have to go to a viewing tonight for my great aunt, whom I haven't seen in the past eight years or so.

What does one do in a situation like this?

I'm trying to figure it out--I know I have to get in the line and go up to the casket, but what's my expected emotional reaction? I think the most I'll be able to manage is an awkward, clearly-faked "sad" look. And then do I have to talk to my relatives? What do I say? "She's in a better place now"? I suck at platitudes.

Ugh. At least I don't have to go the funeral tomorrow. I don't do well at them.

I realize I probably sound like a spoiled brat or whatever, but I really don't care. :\

This is probably around the twentieth layout I've had. I'm very, very fickle.

Yay, pink. And Tori Amos' new song, "Sleeps With Butterflies." I can't wait to get her new album when it comes out at the end of the month.

I also slapped a new icon together. Getting the mini text brushes to work was too much of a hassle, so I finally just made my own with the lyrics to the song. It's all mellow and sweet and yeah. I haven't been able to get it out of my head all day, so naturally the best thing to do is incorporate it into an LJ theme where I'll see it everyday...

I never said I was particularly logical. ^_-

Feeling: mellow
Song of the Moment: Tori Amos - Sleeps With Butterflies

I think I have to update my color scheme soon. :\ I don't celebrate Valentine's Day, but last year I had a kickin' coral scheme going on.

Or maybe I just want to color-coordinate it with my new desktop. I'm very anal about color-coordination. Don't know why.

Why is everyone so depressed lately? Is it that seasonal mood disorder or whatever the hell it's called? Maybe we should just go murder the damn groundhog; six more weeks of winter, ugh.

'Beauty and the Otaku' has now broken 1500 hits, with 150 for the newest chapter. This terrifies me; if people are reading, then I can't just use this as a throwaway fic and practice for writing for FMP in a multi-chapter format. I need to find some beta-readers. :|

I simply must find the source image to pereppi's gorgeous S/K icon. It's gotta be fanart, and I'm a FMP fanart junkie.

I'm rambling, and once again I have no point. *hangs head* I promise I'll try to say something interesting next time.

...

...okay, I'm lying.

Feeling: confused
Song of the Moment: Garbage - Only Happy When it Rains

I'm starting to spaz out for some as-of-yet-undetermined reason. It's not PMS, and I'm not that stressed out about anything, so it must be the fact that I haven't taken my Prozac in about...oh, a week and a half.

...

Yeah, I'd say that's it.

I threw my personal CD player across the room last night and started sobbing hysterically for no reason, I've been getting those lovely "para-suicidal urges" (WANGST!), and I'm just an all-around mess. Borderline Personality Disorder is my personal hell ("...where I roast in my shell..." "Roast in my shell?" "Damn, all I can think about is those peanuts!" [/Daria]). Why can't I have clinical depression or bipolar disorder or something that's easy to treat?

Ugh. I suppose I'm just lucky I haven't had to make a trip back to CAMHU.

I'm glad I have classes tomorrow. I always feel better after chatting it up with Dr. Baer and my classmates in creative writing.

Feeling: discontent

Last night was my first day of French I. I would have written up a report but, well, I was fairly exhausted. ^^;

Mme Siderio kept calling on me after she found out I'd already had three years of French, apparently to keep things going at a quick pace. I had to count backwards from fifty. -_-

Carly kept making notes in the margins of her notebook akin to "SUCK UP" and "TEACHER'S PET". I think she was just mad because I was babying her; after she mispronounced vent as "vent" (like...hell, I don't know, an air vent maybe?), I asked her if she was okay or if she was getting lost. She bitched me out after class was over. I'm just worried because she has absolutely no clue what she's doing...

Bah. :\

I'm getting a kick out of the fact that my mother has now found a way to extend her homophobia across the pond; she speculated last night that I'm trying to go to the UK because I want to meet up with Karen and Karlie for some kind of odd bisexual deviant orgy or something. o.O And here I assumed we'd just make cookies and talk about bishounen. Christ. I really don't know what to do to convince this woman that I'm neither sick nor diseased and that my friends overseas aren't some kind of sexual predators.

Chapter three of 'BatO' broke 100 hits last night. Which means people are actually reading it. Which means that I'm actually required to have a modicum of artistic integrity. This was seriously supposed to be a one-shot parody; Lord, what have I gotten myself into?

Over at the FMP forum, Creepy Guy's pal Sick Pervert made me want to get on a plane to Australia and strangle him with my bare hands. Misconstrue THAT, you fucking pervert. I'm just glad the mods bitch-slapped him into next week; they're the only decent guys over there. (By the way, I'm sorry if I overstepped my bounds a bit, Kelek, but I was so mad I couldn't see straight... ^^;)

I haven't eaten yet today. I'd better go snack on something.

Feeling: blah
Song of the Moment: Indochine: 'Popstitute'

5 AM.

God hates me. Must be the atheist thing.

Meme from iamspecial, just because.

Ask me four questions. Any four, no matter how personal, private or random.

I will answer them honestly. I have to answer them all.

In turn, you post this message in your own journal and you have to answer the questions that are asked of you.

It's just like all of my middle school slumber parties!

*initially spelled parties 'partys'*

*is delirious from lack of sleep*

*goes to finish her short story*

Song of the Moment: Mylene Farmer: 'Libertine'

Am still awake doing homework.

At nearly four AM.

Note to self...

PROCRASTINATON IS DEATH.

*passes out*

Feeling: exhausted

Poll #427984 The updated political persuasion poll.
Open to: All, results viewable to: All

My FL has grown exponentially since the last time I did this, so let's try it again. ^^ What's your political persuasion?

I think I'm too sensitive. :\ The first thing I thought today when I received a very well-thought-out piece of concrit that mentioned that I should flesh out details a bit more was "but I don't DO details! I'm a big-picture gal!" And then I felt horrible and incapable of stringing two words together.

Bah. -_- I can play up the hard-ass routine fairly well, but I have an incredibly thin skin with this kind of stuff. I have to work on that.

I'm continuing to have discussions with my mother re: sexuality. I've come to the conclusion that people from my mother's generation must somehow be close-minded--anything that's not white, heterosexual, and Christian is "weird". My father's even worse; I fear for my life if he ever finds out that I'm bisexual. *sigh* I thought we'd moved somewhat closer to equality and tolerance...

I'm also fighting with my mother over the possibility of my trip to the UK this summer. I can afford to pay my own way, but if she has to tag along, do I have to pay for her, too? That seems somehow unfair--there's a possibility I can't go just because I can't afford to pay for myself and my mommy, who is intent on baby-sitting me? Christ.

I'd better get to work on my writing assignments for tomorrow, assuming I haven't psyched myself out so much that I can't even get two sentences into my writing prompt.

Feeling: stressed

Oh, yes, and my English professor's website has links to various fetish sites, goth radio stations, tattoo parlors (including one apparently owned by her), body modification sites, Suicide Girls, and rotten.com. The focus of our course is medical anthropology and "conceptions of normalcy," and we're going to spend about two weeks discussing Tod Browning's Freaks.

She also informed us never to call her "Professor Timberman" because she hates honorifics, has four piercings in each ear, and has her entire back tattooed.

This is going to be an interesting semester. ^_^

MJP, you've given me a lot to think about, especially since a major plot point in about...oh, two chapters concerns something in 'Continuing on My Own' that is actually great fanfic fodder.

( fmp spoilers for the possibly two people on my FL who don't know and might possibly care )

My problem is that I practically consider myself the English-speaking FMP canon Nazi, and I love to incorporate all these little details that essentially flesh out the story. Leonard has a crush on Kaname, but he's an utter, utter bastard, Kaname and Sousuke have TEH SQUISHIES!!1 going on, and of course the above spoilers. When you move out of the normal territory of the first series (not to mention the anime in general--the manga and novels allow a deeper insight into the characters. Who would've thought that Sousuke is actually kinda like a nervous little boy? Aw...), there's just so much more to work with.

I tend to forget that not everyone is the psychotic, rabid FMP fan that I am. ^^; I guess I take for granted that not everyone knows the full scope of the canon. Hmm...maybe I should write up a timeline or something. Easy reference guide for FMP fanfic writers.

...unless that would somehow bring in more badfic authors. -_-

I've had a bit more time to think about the fandom, too. Dave-d is a good writer, don't get me wrong, but I cringe when I look back on how fangirlish I was towards his work, especially when I note that his plots may be original, but he always keeps the characters in one particular persona. They seem somehow...static. Even when Kaname's fighting with her feelings for Sousuke or Sousuke's struggling to adapt to normal life, it always rings somewhat hollow. He has a knack for setting, but I'd argue that characterization isn't particularly his strong point.

Meh. He's just the most prolific and well-known author that the fandom has.

But now that he's moved onto Naruto, who's going to take his place? I vote Lakewood. 'Defining Normalcy' is a kick-ass fic on most counts; the grammar may have been touch-and-go in the beginning, but he's doing better. Besides, with an excellent fic in a fandom severely lacking in readable multi-chapter fics, beggars can't be choosers, right? That's how I justify the hit count for BatO, anyway. ^_- (By the way, I've been attempting to gauge the popularity of FMP fics by checking the hit count of my own stories. 'Enhanced Stats' are down today for some reason, but I know that BatO is at about 1200, the drabbles are at about 500, and 'An Otaku Citrus Story,' the fic at which I merely shake my head in disbelief, is at around 800. People may not review much, but they are reading.)

I don't know. I'd just like to see more competent authors in the fandom. I know it's a bitch to write for--oh Lord, do I know. But hell, it's a damn good fandom if I do say so myself.

If more authors don't show up and help out and I end up having to write a second multi-chaptered fic, oh, I will be pissed.

*looks back on the entry*

...

Yay, I have absolutely no point whatsoever!

It's one AM.

I so need to sleep.

x.x

Feeling: contemplative
Song of the Moment: Natasha St-Pier: 'Quand On Cherche L'Amour'

Have finally finished chapter three of Beauty and the Otaku.

Have written for five straight hours.

Am now dead.

*falls over*

Feeling: exhausted

I'm disappointed with my mother.

(Waaaangst!)

No, seriously. She just found out that her ex-boyfriend is bi or gay or just overly-sexualized or whatever, and she's more than slightly bitter. The other day she was bitching about the fact that he looks at porn on the Net (shock! horror!), and today she even managed to get a dig in at me.

Mom: I don't know what he does, but he has some...strange habits.

Me: Oh? What is he, a sexual deviant or something?

Mom: I don't know...

Me: Do you think he's homosexual or bisexual or something?

Mom: Maybe bisexual, which, by the way, is a deviant behavior. And I wouldn't want him sleeping with another guy when he was dating me when gays have about a 90 percent higher infection rate of HIV.


Um, WTF?

Gays are magnets for HIV? I'm sorry, have we suddenly traveled back in time to 1982? OH NOES! I was born in '86! I'm fading away!

*eyeroll*

That and the fact that she called bisexuality "deviant" when she knows I'm bi. Deviant? Last I checked, both homosexuality and bisexuality are prevalent in nature. Deviant. Makes me feel like I'm some kind of sick, twisted pervert just because I could go with either men or women. She even said that, since I could conceivably date a woman, I must be a lesbian. I've yet to figure that one out; where would the whole 'bi = two' thing factor in?

I don't know...I guess I've gotten used to intolerance in my hometown; living in the part of New Jersey that echoes Alabama leads to quite a few rednecks and Bible-thumpers. But the last thing I expect is my mother essentially turning up her nose and telling me that my chosen lifestyle is sick and wrong.

Bah. :\

Feeling: disappointed

Due to the fact that the roads here in Hickville were still horrible, and we were snowed in until about noon, I ended up skipping my morning classes. -_- And my night class, French I, was cancelled due to the fact that it started snowing like a bitch right before we left. There's nothing like driving for half an hour in heavy snow on treacherous roads and then traversing the frozen tundra of your campus only to see a tiny sign that it's been cancelled. Ugh.

Carly was such a basket case that we went straight home and had pasta. Comfort food, yay. Then I went back up to my room and watched Amelie, which is such a fabulous movie. It's so damn uplifting. ^^

I'm exhausted, and yet I'm still awake for some strange (stupid) reason that I've yet to determine. Maybe a whole "sleep is for babies!" mentality? Who knows.

I'd browse GAFF, but even the discussion about why GAFF is full of wankfests is turning into a mini-wankfest itself. :\ I know we keep ending up at fandom_wank, but frankly, I don't give a fuck about FW, especially given as how it's inherently wanky in itself.

I guess I'll play The Sims 2 some more. Just when I thought I'd kicked the habit...

Feeling: drained
Song of the Moment: Trans-Siberian Orchestra: 'Wizards in Winter'

I...WANT...MY...GODDAMN...SCHOOL...CLOSING...ANNOUNCEMENT!

Look, I'm still very much snowed in, so even if I have classes tomorrow, I can't go. So it'd be much easier if GCC, like every other school in the whole goddamned area, would just CLOSE already!

Gyah!

There had better be an announcement in my favor in the morning.

From lesbian_acolyte, who always has the best memes and whatnot:

Take the quiz: "WHAT RELIGION BESTS SUITS YOU?"


So very surprised. *eyeroll*

Feeling: frustrated

So now we're about seven hours into this snowstorm, and there's about eight inches of the white stuff on the ground. And considering the snow's not supposed to stop until ten tomorrow morning...

...yeah. I'm glad I'm all safe and warm and in a house full of food.

It's weird to look outside and see nothing but white, though. The ground is solid white, the trees are white, the bushes are white, and there's a steady stream of white permeating the scene. Very much in the white. It's so utterly peaceful, though. Snow is a multisensory experience; it has a particularly peaceful sound, smell, and touch. I know that sounds completely insane, but as anyone from the Northeast can tell you, snow just is.

And I love it. ^^

Hm, so where are we on the Ingsoc Condition Alert System? Plusgood?

Re-reading Animal Farm for the, oh, sixtieth time has put me back on the path of pointing out obvious Bush-Orwell parallels. "Surely none of you wants Jones back!" = "Don't let the terrorists win!"

Shiver.

I just really, really hope that somehow the nation returns to normalcy, and this whole era becomes just a black mark in the history books. If not...well, there's always Canada.

Ah, Nor'easters, bastion of sanity for my younger school-hating self.

The current projection for my area is about ten to fourteen inches of snow. Yep. Less than the infamous Blizzard of '96 or the Presidents' Weekend Blizzard of '03, but still, nothing to sneeze at.

I have to somehow rope Carly into going outside and playing tomorrow. ^_^

Feeling: excited

I can not think of anything more painful than teaching my fifty-year-old mother how to do the Electric Slide.

My mom at least has rhythm, so she thought the dance was incredibly stupid. So I had to explain that the Electric Slide is "a dance made for stupid white people with absolutely no rhythm who wanted a dance so bland that even they couldn't fuck it up." After that I had to teach her the Cha Cha Slide, which I haven't danced since my time at Girls' State during our "party conventions," a.k.a. "Psych Out The Opposite Party, Those Bastards". Fun times.

I am going to murder the next person who states that I will either a) soon be in a long-term relationship or b) married some day. Kindly fuck yourself with a jagged piece of glass, sir or madam (usually madam). When I told my sister today that I had little sympathy for my mother when she spent an entire week sobbing over her now-ex-boyfriend, she told me to wait until I'm in a relationship, which she's 100 percent sure will happen, and see how I feel. When I was adamant that I'll never be in a relationship, unless it's one of those casual-sex-with-no-strings-attached deals, she pulled out the old "just you wait--you can't say you know exactly what's going to happen ten years from now." This comes on the heels of last Sunday's discussion re: marriage, in which I declared my plans for a house in the country and a German shepherd instead of an obnoxious sexist husband and a million screaming brats. My Aunt Cindy laughed and said that "it's always the ones with the single attitude who end up being the first to get married!"

What the fuck? Is being truly happy while single impossible or something? I must be a fucking oddity beyond words, then, because I adore singlehood. For me, being single means that I don't have to answer to anyone else (my junior year English teacher broke up with her boyfriend when he asked what she had been doing all weekend. My friends all thought she was crazy; I thought she was fucking awesome), I am not referred to as anyone's "other half," i.e. I can go places without people wondering where another person who should be attached to me is, and there's a complete lack of that whole "possession" deal. I'm nobody's muffin.

The idea of settling down with a husband in suburbia and raising a few kids is anathema to me. First of all, I loathe children. I honestly cannot stand them; it wouldn't matter if they were mine or not. And I am not about to sacrifice my vacation time just because some parasitic infant needs Mommy to make it a costume for the school play. Here's fifty bucks, go grab a few yards of fabric from K-Mart and make the damn thing yourself. See? I'd be a horrible parent, as my reference to children as "parasites" no doubt confirms.

The husband thing doesn't work for me, either. Apart from the fact that if I got married, I'd constantly be asked when I'm "gonna start poppin' out the babies," something about the whole 'marriage' thing bothers me. It makes me claustrophobic, mainly because I couldn't just up and leave whenever I wanted. I know, I know, that's immature and childish or whatever, but it's my perogative. I'm also not into dating because of the inherent drama. Romance turns otherwise-sane people into weepy, sappy, overly-emotional morons who apparently think that everyone else gives a fuck about their "sweetie". Ugh.

I refuse to become one of those morons.

So the next time someone mentions children and/or marriage (sidenote: I'm eighteen. Aren't we jumping the gun a bit, O family of mine?), I suppose I'll just have to mention the above statements. I'd be a neglectful mother because I despise sticky-fingered little germ-factories, and I'd be a horrible wife/girlfriend because I'm a commitment-fearing bitch who loves her freedom.

I shall have a German shepherd and a basset hound, and I shall be happy. You can't leave a baby home alone during a vacation and just have the neighbors stop by to feed it and give it fresh water.

Feeling: cynical
Song of the Moment: Garbage: 'Supervixen'

My journalism professor is soft-spoken and 'eh,' my Comp. 102 professor is absolutely insane (we're watching Freaks, discussing medical anthropology, and "reading" art and clothing), but my creative writing professor?

I've had her for one day and I love her.

First of all, she's grading us on how well we think we've done and therefore is refraining from the typical judgemental creative writing grading system. She said she doesn't want to compromise our "artistic integrity." Plus she's a "visiting scholar" at Yale and is friends with Dave Barry ("he's...crazy. He's just crazy"), and she loaned me her GUARANTEED MYSTIKAL ANTI-WRITER'S BLOCK BRACELET®! Which I so need so I can finally finish that way-overdue chapter of BatO. :\

Her views on fangirl reviews (i.e. "omg thiz iz sooooo good omg right m0re!!!11) are great, too. We were going over the peer editing/review system, and she explained that you have to have a reason for your opinions. "You can't just go, 'That was good.' What the hell is that?"

Seriously, I love her. ^^

I guess I'll try out the MYSTIKAL ANTI-WRITER'S BLOCK BRACELET® later tonight. Dr. Baer noted that writers should learn discipline and stick to a routine of some kind. Since I do my best writing at, oh, two in the morning, it looks like I'm gonna be up pretty late. ^^

Feeling: chipper
Song of the Moment: BoA: 'Atlantis Princess'

Snow! Lots of snow! Yay! ^^

I have nothing else to add. *hangs head*

Feeling: jubilant
Song of the Moment: Trans-Siberian Orchestra: 'Anno Domine'

6:25 AM. I'm just starting to fall back asleep when Carly calls, clearly nervous about her first day at Gloucester County College, asking for a campus map. I somehow deduce that she's scared, and despite the fact that it's still dark out, I'm half-dead with exhaustion, it's about five degrees outside, and I don't have classes, I decide to tag along to make sure she'll be okay.

It took a grand total of five minutes to show Carly where the Health Sciences building is and take her to her two-and-a-half-hour-long class, Early Childhood Education. After I dropped her off and told her to have a nice day (I'm the younger sister, mind you, so why am I acting like an overprotective mom?), I had to find something to do for the next two and a half hours. Luckily, James' brother had loaned me a book about Corporate America and the prevalence of the brand. It was quite interesting, and at least the library was warm (I literally lost all feeling in my hands during my walk from the Health Services building to the library--our high today was 14 F, with a wind child of about negative two).

After class, we got a bite to eat at Peter's Diner in Williamstown (I paid, of course...gee, what a fun day. -_-), and I finally got to go home and sleep...until 8:30 at night, but that's of little consequence, I suppose. I have a sleep hangover, though. -_-

I consider this my act of kindness for the century.

Feeling: groggy
Song of the Moment: Carly humming the 'Indiana Jones' theme

A note.

My LJ is very public. I've only friends-locked entries maybe a grand total of ten times since I started the thing in December of 2003. I went friends-only once, and it lasted a week. Seriously, there's nothing ground-breaking going on here.

But, of course, a public journal means that any person could stumble across it and read it. This is not a segue into an announcement of friends-only elitism, but rather an announcement to a certain person who happens to be reading my LJ.

Friends-locked posts are not my way, bitch.

Knock it the fuck off. If you're still going to keep tabs on me after I effectively kicked your ass to the curb, fine. But do it in a forthright manner and stop with all this smoke-and-mirrors shit, okay? It's not amusing, and you're not being clever.

And in case we've somehow had a misunderstanding, let's get this out in the open: I hate people who treat me like a little girl. I hate people who don't take my opinions seriously. I hate people who are arrogant when they have absolutely no right to be so. I hate people who are condescending. I hate people with poor grammar.

Now, taking the above statements into account, what do you think my opinions are regarding you?

I don't care that I tried to be friendly in the past. My patience disappeared ages ago. So, either stop lurking in the shadows or, to paraphrase, "Back up, or step the fuck up, muthafucka."

Be forewarned, however: I do not play fair.


--Bri


P.S. Fuck the South.

Feeling: pissed off

I don't know WHY I get random forwards from fangirls, let alone personal surveys.

But what the hell. They're amusing LJ fodder. ^^

( 'survey thing take it it be almighty and stupid' ...verbatim. Seriously. )

Feeling: so very amused

...wow, things are getting ugly in The Country Club over at GAFF. It's like the 'Gabbery Sucks?' thread squared. Who knew tempers could wear so thin?

Basically, the situation is this: there's a major discussion re: troll poking and bandwidth issues. While everything started out rather civilly, it's essentially become a mudslinging match between two well-known members, with the others now beginning to take sides.

I think this all started because of the troll issue. So many people love to sit there and play with the trolls, which, in my mind, is just stupid. Sorry, I would have thought that a forum devoted to Godawful Fan Fiction/Fanart/Insert-Topic-Here would garner more attention for godawful things instead of vaguely amusing idiots who happen to crop up from time to time. You can only mock someone with pseudo-Netspeak so many times before it just becomes tedious.

The bandwidth issue. Personally, I have about fifty bucks invested in GAFF, and it pisses me off to see people laughing and creating pointless threads without considering who's footing the bill. I contribute money towards the discussion of godawful fanfiction, not what body parts you shave or whether you fold or scrunch your toilet paper.

I don't think it's elitist to point out that people should stay on topic and not waste bandwidth poking trolls--after all, those are suggestions/rules/whatever set down by The Site Guru. And what Guru-sama says goes.

It's also interesting to me that the thread in Gabbery, i.e. the public thread, about bandwidth and whatnot is getting almost no attention, whereas the discussion in The Country Club is clearly a hot topic. I wish more people would take it seriously, since with the recent influx of trolls, it is an issue.

It's all just so goddamn frustrating. >:(

Feeling: pissed off

I think I am pathetic for having missed the ol' El-Jay so much. -_- I just threw myself headfirst into The Sims 2.

And made icons. -_- Since I didn't have the resources of icon_tutorial to help me, I settled for some half-assed political icons, namely the "white-background-with-Silkscreen-font-at-six-points-expressing-semi-humorous-statement" formula. Bwah.

...I wish something excited had happened, but seriously, it hasn't. I suppose this is just my obligatory "YAY OMG LJ IZ BAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11" post. Because all the cool kids are doing it.

Feeling: apathetic
Song of the Moment: Tori Amos: 'Strange'

I hate neurotic people who inadvertently send me into a psychological downward spiral by freaking out over the smallest thing.

I hate people who assume that I give a fuck about their "relationship" troubles. I could not care less. Please stop talking, kthxbi.

I hate forum members who laugh off the rules, i.e. Fujiwara.

I hate writer's block.

I hate my lack of ability to make good icons.

I hate having Borderline Personality Disorder.


...BUT...


I love being single.

I love my puppy.

I love being a no-nonsense bitch.



And thus there is good in the world.

Feeling: frustrated
Song of the Moment: Trans-Siberian Orchestra (f. Jennifer Cella): 'Different Wings'

Finally changed my layout--about two weeks after I was supposed to. -_- Oh well--fuck it.

I switched it up a bit; yes, the layout incorporates slightly pretentious lyrics this time, as with every other time, but they're not from Tori Amos. Yay for changes, slight though they may be...

Anyone who can guess the song upon which the new layout is based without Googling wins a cookie.

Feeling: okay

*obligatory 'YES I AM ALIVE' post*

I don't know why I haven't been around much, really. I've been unbearably apathetic since Christmas, for whatever reason. Maybe it's part seasonal depression, part boredom, but all I know is that I'm damn glad that I only have a week left of vacation. It's grown tedious. -_-

I am now of the opinion that I have become the fangirl magnet of the FMP fandom:

"hey! haha..finally, they're gettin along now.i thrilled by your story..and yah your right..its hard to write a fic for FMP..but your doin good in it now!As usual..please update soon!i really like your story..!thanks!hhehe..^^U"

"Wai! it's so kawai! pls update soon...i really love to read ur storyy! I hope Sosouku will admit his affection to kanome in a different way! keep up the good work and PLEASE UPDATE SOON!"

"cool story neh!"

...yeah. I'd prefer no reviews whatsoever to the kind I so often observe on extremely subpar Inuyasha fics. Bah. I have to get around to writing the third chapter soon (it's been a month--I'm starting to panic), but I've had absolutely no motivation to write anything whatsoever. That includes posts to LJ and GAFF. My apathy astounds me. -_-

Anyway, the only point of this entry is to just check in and let everyone know I'm okay. I know I terrified everyone when I disappeared for a week last January, but that was at least founded... ^^;

Feeling: blah
Song of the Moment: Indochine: 'Paradize'

Oh, Philadelphia, how I love thee.

I'm so proud that my home city of sorts led the smackdown on a group of Christian fundies preaching intolerance at one of the city's gay rights festivals. You'd never see something like that in, say, Georgia. The loons in question would be treated as martyrs. Not here in the good ol' blue states--we don't stand for intolerance, and that's exactly what going into a gay pride fest and shouting that everyone there is going to hell is.

I like the homosexual community; I think I'm only, like, 30 to 40 percent straight at most, anyway. I wish they'd get more of a fair shake rather than constantly being told that everything they do is "sick" and "wrong". This is yet another of the reasons I completely gave up on organized religion--too often it's used as a vehicle for evil. I'm disillusioned.

But at least Philly is still fighting the good fight. While my home region of South Jersey may have more in common with Mississippi than Manhattan, at least our closest city is proudly liberal. After all, 90 percent of the city voted for Kerry. ^_-

Feeling: pleased