February 7, 2005 • 2:16 am
i was coerced into buying a candy rose friday. i still have to think of someone to send it too. hm. eh.. screw love. >> sorry to my fellow friends who are overflowing with it. But. i think i know who im sending it too. lmao. i feel bad for doing it though ;/ ;cough; no reason HI HI HI ... im weird. i need to sit down and do an lj cut one day. im just too lazy. maybe some time this week. not now though |
3 comments | Something to say? |
January 31, 2005 • 9:02 pm
im shaking and i cant breath im such an emotional wreck. I've lost everything that even slightly meant anything to me this school year, and things just keep getting worse, as i push them away. i cant take the verbal abuse at home and at school, i cant take it all at once. i just want this year to end. then i can decide if i want to stay at this school for another year or goto laguna creek like im suspose to. there doesnt seem to be anything left for me here. i hate feburary, all these people are so happy and everything, i really want to feel that way again, i want to know the feeling where someone really cares about me, i want to be held again. but my grades are much more important and the things i do want i cant or wont let myself try to get. so heres hoping these 17 weeks go by as fast as last year did. but then last year i was happy. |
7 comments | Something to say? |
January 30, 2005 • 11:55 pm
ADD ![[info]](http://library.vu.edu.pk/cgi-bin/nph-proxy.cgi/000100A/http/web.archive.org/web/20050209062241im_/http:/=2fstat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} animephreakboi NOWHe's really nifty ;p |
2 comments | Something to say? |
January 24, 2005 • 8:34 pm
i hate the fact that everyone seems to think im some type of depressed little girl whos never happy, my teachers even think that, kinda pathetic. i hate the fact that can never start or end good. i hate the fact that the 7th period bell alwys rings at 3:25 i could stay there forever. what the fuck do people expect me to do? fake happy? i did that once, and all these guys started asking me out and shit. i DONT want that. i dont want them., i'd rather look all depressed and shit that have no one then be pretend to be happy and deep inside tear myself apart beacuse the happiness is killing my wanting to be with someone i actually love. i also hate the fact that people take everything i say the wrong way, they make me sound like a complusive liar. the only time i lie is when, someone would be hurt by it, i dont give a shit anymore if i get hurt, its nothing new, nothing tissue and music with a side of time cant solve. i also hate the fact that i have two journals but only update this one and end up copying entries from this one to my other one, which ill be doing in the next few seconds.. i'm too lazy to reread this and fix my typos. i really need a new keyboard.. ;sigh; |
6 comments | Something to say? |
January 23, 2005 • 12:05 am
 so, friday ended greatly so greatly!.. even though i failed a final.. erf, horrible thought. but oh well. i had a great day so that makes it okay. i spent the day with my asshole father as a friend of mine calls him, we went and saw elektra he called it a "date" where i paid for most of it cause he refused to stop at the ATM beforehand i took some pictures.. a few of me, my guitar, my dinner, and the clothes i'm donating to good will ;p. Pics now under the cut ( Read more... ) btw, im not using an LJ cut live with it. ***new icon also ;D** EDIT: i'll put up "happy" pictures when i figure out how to get my camera to unload the pictures again.. |
18 comments | Something to say? |
January 22, 2005 • 1:50 am
i tried catching up on everyones jounral.. then i got 280 entries back. and just gave up. you guys write alot. but thats why i love you You pick me apart While I search for witty things to say (In my defense) "You'll never amount to anything anyway" (Don't press your luck, don't press your luck) I set (i set) myself up for the greatest fall of all time I set (i set) myself up for the greatest fall of all time |
2 comments | Something to say? |
January 21, 2005 • 6:31 pm
finals are over., Failed math. A in spanish i dont know the rest. i want to take the week off. and see if anyone calls to see if im okay. |
2 comments | Something to say? |
January 20, 2005 • 9:51 pm
i bet you, he wouldnt give a damn if i was mad at him. he wouldnt try to make it work. i'd give everything i had to make him happy. but it seems as if, he doesnt even care, i wonder why i explain whats wrong, when he asks. eh, to be left out. i shouldn't have made him tell me whats wrong, when its exactly what he did to me. talked tome untill he saw them and left without saying bye. i dont care. it only bothered me for a little. |
January 19, 2005 • 10:39 pm
Had a bad day, don't talk to me, gonna ride this out, My little black heart, breaks apart, with your big mouth. And I'm sick of my sickness Dont touch me, you'll get this. I'm useless, lazy, perverted, and you hate me. You can't save me, You can't change me, Well I'm waiting for my wake up call, And everything, everything's my fault fuck this. i've realized how alone i really am at school today. how pitiful |
8 comments | Something to say? |
January 17, 2005 • 11:51 pm
things are getting better. kinda. im still first accused of crap at home but thats nothing new finals are this week weds-friday. blah. im not even prepaired |
5 comments | Something to say? |
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