LJ CUT LATER |
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08:01pm 24/10/2004 |
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mood: uncomfortable music: Pink Floyd "Comfortably Numb
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Only the pine trees grew here, but the leafy trees that changes were
suppose to be here. They were suppose to be growing, transforming the
green leaves to colors of fiery red and yellow, and the finally the
leaves will fall off the trees. But only the pine trees grew here,
where the men have planted them several years before. They were
eternally the same until they go, then they become bony skeletons lost
and forgotten. The men meant no good to this land. They grew the trees
in perfect rows one after the other. Those bright colorful falls will
never be there, the trees just grew, with only green colors, that
brought on some eerie tranquility. The trees gave shelter to whatever
they hid there. It was a stable environment to the outsider, There was
never a tree different than the other, so it was easy to get lost in
this wooden time trap.
In a clearing in the woods, the birds sang an evening song and the
heron can be sighted in the swampy pond. The clearing connected to
other endless rows and paths of trees, that led to other clearings.
There were bushes that grew blueberries. But somebody tried to kill
them, but only some died. Beyond the pond, after a bunch of trees, an
oak was in the middle of another clearing, in a grassy field. The oak
appears twisted and deformed. There is a doleful feeling in the air and
you can hear crows cawing on the bare branches. The crows share the
same ugliness along with the oak tree. Both conceals it's secret in the
middle of them.
A twelve year boy, Wayne, hung out here, doing things his daddy would
do. He went hunting out here, but really in life he was the hunted.
After feeling his daddy's belt on his bare legs, the same treatment
dished out to his brothers and sisters, he hid in the woods. But Wayne
and my father loved their dad. Wayne was the most decent brother in the
family, he was the most likely to bring happiness. Fifteen years later,
he was a father to children to his divorced wife and fiance. HIs
brother, my dad, became a deadbeat alcoholic father, and his only
contact with us with one point was sending X-mas presents that his
girlfriend bought through my Uncle. Wayne did this, because he knew my
dad was going through hard times.
Three years later, the agony came from another black source. On Sept.
17, 1997, over the phone I was told early that morning Wayne was shot
in Utica NY in the chest, where he was wandering with Floyd. I remember
Floyd, in the newspapers he was referred to an old family friend. Floyd
really had dark secrets and had no remorse for his transgressions. The
night before, Floyd asked my father for help with money, and he
declined. Wayne left to go see Floyd instead. But Floyed blacked out
and doesn't remember anything. My father could've died. Wayne took his
place and his children are fatherless.
At the funeral, I cried for my father, but I cried for Wayne too. After
the funeral, we retreated to Grampa's house. I haven't been there for
the longest time, and I still remember the woods behind his house well.
The grey clouds hovered over the trees, it was soo windy that day. A
song from a band that Wayne liked was playing in my head, a song about
wanting to fly. In the woods, Wayne became a somber color. He use to
not be that way, his brilliant colors had shown through, but now he has
earthy tones of green and brown. He does not go and rest, he is rooted
now, in his home forever. The silence grasped him and the family
suffers for it. I can't fill the darkness with memories that brought
forth once. The needles pin his wings so he can't soar no more. My
distorted mind once understood that time flowed through him endlessly,
but now I know time has been captured from him, and his slayer still
lives for himself. The trees are whispering his name, and now for a
ceaseless dark hour that carries on to other lives. |
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Business, Con Artist, Registered Voters, and Thank God for Birth Control |
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08:41pm 27/09/2004 |
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mood: giggly music: Cheap Skates by Sporty Thieves
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2 Registered Voters 3 Absentee Ballots
Well the speech came quickly and went by quickly. I should have thought of a better topic before the closing statement. Alas, there was clapping and I received a token of appreciation, lotion. I was surprised someone asked me if I was personally sexually harassed. Didn't know what I was allowed to tell her. I gave her an honest answer sans details. Another honored guest, a district judge, quickly expressed her support to me. Also I allied and ate lunch with a former state representative, Deleta Williams. My husband was invited to come in because I had to speak later than expected. He was wearing a Ren and Stimpy shirt while everyone else was in their business attire. Great organization, but I can't join because I'm leaving. Found out I can join the American Legion, but I am going to not pursue that right now.
I came home and a con artist called and was speaking to Ant. This person was selling CLEP materials that are offered for free. Ant was buying it, and I was like Ant! Ant! and he gestured with his hand. I said Ant! It's a scam!. He then jotted down his cell number and name. Who the hell will buy something from Standard company. Whatever. I spent a bit trying to notify the first shirt. No avail. Figures. He called back after six, and I told him how it was and not to call people on the base.
Oh yeah LOOKIE! http://www.thedierks.com/allowe/video/ZazooCondoms,NiñoMañoso.mpg |
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Everyone Respond Please |
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07:16pm 21/09/2004 |
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mood: nervous music: The Cure
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First of all, anyone has some tips on public speaking? I had not had a speech class since high school, and I agreed to speak for twenty minutes at the Women's Business Bureau about my job. Specifically, what it's like to be a female munitions systems technician journeyman. Any ideas on that? I am thinking women's healthcare and access to abortion, cadet and tech school rapes, benefits of women working in the military, why women opt out of the military. I am trying out statistics and comparisons with the real world. Sighh.... I'm insane to pull this off!
Second, let me know right now whether or not you wanted to be bugged about this election stuff. I am interested in getting people who will vote Democrat registered to vote, womens' and childrens' issues, military, reproductive rights, corporate whoreism, and college. I will be most courteous if you let me know if it is aversive as a friend. Thanks. |
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Just for the Record |
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04:20pm 20/09/2004 |
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mood: listless music: Bruce Springsteen "I'm on Fire"
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I am not a bible beater. I am worse.
Update: 1 registered voter. 1 person with a voter registration card.
This was intended to be directed towards Jennifer. To explain things further, I had a nice accidental conversation with Jennifer over the phone. One of my last words was "I need to get dressed so I can go door to door". It was all good until Anthony slipped in the comment that I was a bible beater and she didn't comment on that. I really am a Kerry volunteer registering people to vote. One of the main problems yesterday that a lot of people I came into contact with weren't United States citizens. One more person in this swing state to vote against the unmentionable.
I was reading a regulation that I can't be contemptuous against anyone who holds elected office and part of the military. One person got reprimanded pretty badly when he called Bill Clinton an "adulterous liar". I am going to try to stick to the facts and stay clear of name calling. It is a very awkward situation being a female in the military supporting who we have now in office. |
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October is Coming Soon... |
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03:59pm 19/09/2004 |
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Pass it on!
Visit The Breast Cancer Site at http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/home every day and click on the pink "Fund Free Mammograms" button to help fund free mammograms for homeless, low-income women.
It costs you nothing to help make early detection and survival possible. Funding is paid by site sponsors and goes to the nonprofit National Breast Cancer Foundation, who uses it to grant access to mammography to women in need. You can click once per day.
Pass it along as a way to fight breast cancer all year long!
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/home |
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10:47pm 15/09/2004 |
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I want anyone and EVERYONE who reads this to post in here something they would like to do with me someday.
Then post this in your journal to find out what people want to do with you.
EDIT: WARNING: If I get even one perverted comment that is not insighted by this edit in good humor, I will find the commentee and impale them on a *three word blank*, turn into the *blank* that you all know I am on the inside and proceed to *blank* the fool!
*Smiles and hugs to all* ^___^ |
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Warning: Woman with a nice RACK and lives by infidelity |
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08:32pm 13/09/2004 |
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mood: blank music: Moby
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People registered to vote Democrat: Three + Jenna's absentee ballot
I went to a candlelight vigil last Thursday, with a couple of tea candles. This girl, who goes by Champagne Minx by e-mail hands me a tall candle and a sign saying 1000 dead. Guy shows up loud as hell about registering to vote and yada yada yada, me being annoyed that we were currently honoring people. This lady looks at my sign, and looks at my face and says it's 1005 now. Guy says he is a door to door person to register people to vote. No pressure on those who aren't for Kerry. I agree to do it Monday. Fine. Candles melted all over my seat because I left them in the car.
Yesterday, we were ordered to sweep a road that connects to the flightline (yes this was on a Sunday). So we're like "yeah, we like to sweep for you" mocking it. We stop somewhere, where a MSgt went into detail on how to sweep as we picked up more brooms. So we show up to a normally not usually a controlled area to this small petite girl with a M-16 five feet away from where we had to sweep. We were laughing our asses off and I rolled the window down that was keeping the AC is in. She says nobody is permitted to go pass here. We told her that MUNS control told us to sweep. She said I received orders that nobody to pass here. Well, we asked her does she have a radio. She says no. Then we asked her if she would like to sweep. She didn't answer. :P Well, we were wondering how she recently received orders to not let us by if she didn't have a radio. We then were laughing about getting Control's permission on a note like the kind we take to school. We were rolling at this point. Fast-foward to try for the third attempt, we had a radio by then and we had a call sign FOD 2. No fake cops. Ha ha! So we called control via radio to let them know that we are finished and they gave us a stop time for our work order. For sweeping the road that isn't the flightline. We were so disappointed that we didn't get to scrub the toilets :(
Okay, for the reason that I titled this:I did as I promised to register voters.
One guy asked me if I had a boyfriend but I already registered him. So oh well, sucker!
Well there was this group of people on a porch already knew what my intentions were. They go hey you there! Are you a republican (redneck tone)? No, I am a Democrat (fearing the worst). Why do you want to be a Democrat? I replied to keep it simple because I was raised this way. They say, why do you want to be an infidel.... yeah ABORT! IGNORE! I was asking another volunteer what they wanted to do to split responsibility. Then they go "Sir, is a woman your leader. She has a nice rack an all' to bad she's an infidel. Yeah, he is the most morally sound person out there. |
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Invisible Man |
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09:59pm 08/09/2004 |
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mood: weird
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I finally got my financial aid done for school! Yeah baby. Seems like we have to pull some loans for Ant, and he wants to pay interest while he's in school. Ehhh... I know how to live like a pauper, long as we pay.
Ant had to deal with me playing dress-up, the EGL or EGA (I was trying to go for the latter but picked up on some spin-off that I was pleased with) look took hours in my closet to find and now I just need something that matches the fabric to put in my hair and it would be off the chain. Woops, I guess I am suppose to be speaking proper now.
I don't know what it means, but there has been a strange chain of events that happened this week, along with a mob of butterflies.
My great uncle passed on in NY, the old Netherland clan member working with wood and raising heffers... We admired his life and was amused by his electric fences (sad). |
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Just Curious |
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01:53pm 20/08/2004 |
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Post a (real) memory of me. It can be anything you want. Then post this to your journal. See what people remember of you. |
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Gateway Ohio and New York |
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01:13pm 18/08/2004 |
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Vacationing was not that horrific in spite of e-mails of that mercury retrograde. I didn’t get a chance to spend time with my friends, and that’s okay. After ordering all the animes possible on World cat I decided to update Livejournal about it. First my in-laws came to town. Not much to say, other than they are easy to please and less likely to grump about the exciting life of Whiteman. I offered to go to Kansas City, and they just wanted to hang out. The only “struggle” I had was whether or not we should have supper on the card table or on the dining table. My mother-in-law insisted on eating on the card table where Ant has been toying with his gas RC car. If I pursued control over my house any further, it would have escalated to an argument that shouldn’t have existed. Just because I am not an almighty matron procreator, doesn’t mean I am not the female head of my household. I figured me and Aline didn’t share the same view of the principle being dismissed in the stupid matter. Other than that, I enjoyed the company. Besides, Nanook, who also thought he had supreme rule had gotten an ass woopin’ by Uh-Oh. Before I left I gave my Lasher book by Ann Rice to my co-worker. I had my sister-in-law in mind for that book, but come to find out it she didn’t like the author. Steph came back to work my last day there and was excited because it supplemented her just finished Vampire Chronicles, but the series focused on the Mayfair Witch side. I was delighted that she likes it, hurray for book crossing and for her.
My brother came into town with his friend Joe. Me and Ant went out for the first time to go to the bars at the notorious “Pine” street in Warrensburg, which is funny because I don’t see how it could be so notorious comparing it to Varick St. in Utica (something else not really brag worthy). Skipping through the drinking parts, I want to mention the awesome discussion that I had with my brother with politics, ethics, and human worth. I really missed having these kinds of discussion with people. We had our first White Castle experience, where my brother noted that there must have been hepatitis traced back to this restaurant being Missouri didn’t have a glove law. We visited the Arc. We went onward to Cedar Point Ohio, where we faced 120 mile roller coasters and world record drops. I visited with my brother David and his wife Audrey, and we hit it off. This was great because I never really had opened up to his wife. The best thing and the saddest thing were the baby bunnies. Frodo, presumably a male before, gave birth to them. I will note here all the rabbits are named after a character or group of characters in Lord of the Rings. One baby accidentally was strangling itself on it’s bedding (cotton) and David saved it. Somehow we were feeding it by insulin injectors and then by a baby bottle because it wasn’t responding to the mother anymore. The baby bunny died a day later. I wish the rest of the babies had their eyes open because I would have fostered one until I go to Korea. Much more had happened such as Thai confusion, ransom notes/mysteries, boring family reunions, more bookcrossiong, illegal fireworks and much other deviant behavior. |
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Marriage AND Family? |
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11:01am 01/08/2004 |
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For some reason we watched Paradise Lost in Class...... We were suppose to watch the family dynamics. However, it rightfully pissed me off. The story was on the West Memphis Three and how they were convicted of three capital murder counts for three boys . First of all, the evidence was based on paranoia, distorted perception of religion and the defendants, and a confession through wrongful tactics of interrogation from someone who is borderline retarded. The "confession" was strange because the investigators had a lot of missing time periods in the recording, inconsistencies in the "confession" (said the victims were hogtied with rope, but they were by shoelaces, said it was done in the morning but was done afterschool), the investigators suggested what he should say or cued him, and also used scare tactics of pictures. The guy who "confessed" didn't testify in the other trial, so they all they had to convict the other two with was what religion the prosecutors thought the two others were practicing, uncredible witnesses, one from a detention center who's detention center leader had said that he was lying and lied before. Two other girls testified against the defendants,by saying that they heard from a good distance him shouting yeah I killed them but I will kill two more and didn't hear what was said before or after. This was after the media was on the defendants tails.
There was equal evidence if not stronger showing a case against the victim's father, who denied using a knife that was found before, then when they found blood evidence showing that the knife had him and his son's (not the defendants) blood type on it, and the father said he cut his toenail on it or venison, I don't know. He was a media hound showing how this was a fight of godly and demonic forces.
The conviction and sentencing of a person's character can be life or death for them. Not for capital murder. "A cadre of right-wing extremists who cloak themselves in the mantle of Christian evangelicalism has decided that the values that formed this country aren't worth preserving" Jesse Kornbluth |
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My Clock Goes Tick Tock |
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09:43pm 27/07/2004 |
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mood: rejuvenated
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I am updating finally after I fixed a post because some how I screwed up my calendar's internal clock . Since my clock was screwed up, the computer wouldn't let me update because I updated what was suppose to be the future. I wonder how Livejournal program knew about it.
I went to a youth activist conference, which compromised my sociological analysis grade for minority relations and it showed when I got some points taken off (hey, an A is an A). I love Columbia University of Missouri, first of all if a place has a women's center it is great in my book. Central Missouri State University lacks in meeting all student's needs which is ten miles away from here. It seems that Columbia is the second closest city, where progressives flourish and not go under extreme humiliation. Kansas City area being the first. It was my first place where I received a vagina chocolate lollipops. It is a place where you will not be judged by your gender or sexual orientation.
My impressions: 1. The vegan food was yummy! 2.Thirteen year old boys were freaking out because they could see up my skirt when I was forced to climb stairs 3. The Poverty and Hunger actually helped me with my report because there was a anti-globalization activist was there. Two different points of view where on the poverty and hunger at this panel. One being that reproductive procedures where rights that help poverty and hunger to cease, and the other being that it is socioeconomic class genocide. They both agreed that a group has the right to not participate in a culture that is portrayed by the middle class. In order to be freed from poverty and hunger a group must be empowered through themselves in a coalition and programs or co-ops don't work. I was getting annoyed that people were talking and I couldn't hear what the panelists were saying. 4. The politics panel was awesome when two thirteen year old girls were up there speaking their minds. They explained that even though they didn't have the right to vote, but they still have the right to freedom of speech. There was a progressive, democrat, green party, democrat, and coalition against Bush. I kept on having to poke Ant to stay awake, he said he wanted to hear them but the panel was to dry. |
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No Idea |
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10:13am 04/06/2004 |
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mood: enthralled
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Well I walked into work and they were like go log in to Virtual MPF. I am like, why? Did the AF accidentally honorly discharge me (crossing my fingers) or I was suppose to go Eglin (double crossing)? Well I found out that I was assigned to Osan and I am leaving with a few reminders of WAFB.
!!!I am going to Korea!!!
Embarrasing as it sounds my inlaws found out first. My husband has the need to talk on the telephone. My mother and father still doesn't know about it. Or Debbie. Or anyone else. Maybe I should call around now.
Toodle-loo |
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A really bad week |
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06:27pm 25/05/2004 |
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Well I just wish I could make it a whole lot better but I can't. First of all, my cousin died from the same falls that my cousin from the other side of the family got badly hurt a year before. Me and my mother aren't getting along, and it's pretty much over some fucking asshole she moved in with that wants to listen into my conversations with her, which he also thought I was disrespecting him because I wasn't asking for mom but her name. Give me a break and hang up your line, because I don't want to be personal with a control freak. I couldn't sleep and been in a fog and taking everything personally. Another sleep deprived shift I signed in a CTK before a tool was returned. I got reprimanded for that, and that just sucks because I never wanted to go through it and now I know that I don't want to do that again. Besides that is the stupidest mistake to get paperwork for. Doctor tells me to take ibuprofen. Hmm.... |
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Tough Guys |
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11:32pm 15/05/2004 |
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mood: worried
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Ok, Ant came home saying he feels dizzy with breathing discomfort and not feeling good. I worry because of his heart defect. I said I will call the doctor in a hour if he doesn't get better. Breathing problem got a better after rest. If he doesn't feel better tomorrow it will be a sick day for him because I will make him get checked out. He won't get by me until he does. |
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My shitty life |
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04:56pm 14/05/2004 |
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Well I changed my first diaper today! It was like all soft and all over the kiddo so I found out why baby wipes aren't just for those who forgot to take a shower during tedious deployments or basic training. Yeah doing cartwheels! But seriously, four adults taking care of three tots who wanted their mommies, four babies, and plus whatever equaled to the thirties for the rest of the non school-age kids in a room that didn't really fit us was insane. Well today was spouse appreciation day at the Family Support Center, and it was so biased for females but I tried encouraging Ant to do the stamping class or the makeovers. He still passed up on those wonderful domesticated priveledges! I love kiddos when they are able to express their needs, but I am extremely nervous about kiddos with no toilet training or bottle feeding, but today I set my fears aside and wiped some ass. I learned what the hell a binkie was. One time when I was watching my nephew and was fearing the diaper thing, because the kid was old enough to laugh at you if you don't know what the hell you were doing. But my dominant mother-in-law changed his diaper he wore overnight before I greeted him when he woke up. She did it in a blink and made him laugh by doing the strange baby noises at him. Didn't even ask her. Everything was cool after that other than he wanted to watch a boring anime flick instead of All Dogs Go to Heaven. That anime flick was bad starter film in that genre for me. Speaking of anime, Memories was a pretty awesome sci-fi-ish movie. I thought it was going to be sappy because of the title. Me and Ant grabbed it because Anime was hard to come by around here in Missouri. Actually the war anime we rented was sappy. Which reminds me if Japanese entertainment in our society always have been there and I just never noticed because I really hate shopping because I hate being broke. On other entertainment news, I posted more books on bookcrossing.com under spave1428. Seriously, books are addictive. I bought some new release from Garage sales that were really nice. Bookcrossing.com replaces my glambourbombing sad to say. I am really sad this spark, the chi, or the holy spirit whatever went away with Diego Garcia, one of the most beautiful places I've seen. Really it was the reality of my marriage life that hit me when a lot of irresponsible decisions were made with that TDY. I guess that's all I have to say to the public other than I still love my husband. But things really gotten serious, like when are we going to grow up? Why are we more concerned with how we are going to impress his cousin that he hasn't spoken to since last century with over fifty bucks for her wedding when we are in serious debt due to recklessness. Nevermind, but I love my babe, it's just different. |
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Brooding in my own sadness |
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04:11pm 08/05/2004 |
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To be continued.......... :( |
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