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Wednesday, November 24th, 2004
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11:42 pm
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Stressed. Life has a really fucking annoying habit of making things really difficult and awkward. Bastard.
I wish I wish I *wish* for a simple life please.
I want tomorrow to be better so I have a day without any tears. Crying tires me out.
current mood:  stressed
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| Sunday, November 7th, 2004
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3:03 am
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I just got in from a night out with my friend John (or Jogn as some may know him). It was an alright night, as nights in Edinburgh go. He brought his friend from uni, Daphne. What a nice talkative girl she was. It was really nice meeting her. Had a good night chatting to her and John about different things.
I can't believe how quiet Edinburgh actually was. It was a rugby weekend, as Scotland were playing Australia and promptly got beaten, buggers. We started off in a few places that are usually heaving in town - Opium, Siglo, Frankensteins...all were pretty dead. Hmm. Then we went down to Walkabout. Far better there, as we should have realised that every Aussie would be there, so would be a cracking night.
All was well in there, was boiling, drink was flowing, I was dancing (fucking hell!) and then I disappeared from the dance floor much to their concern. A certain song came on. 'I've had the time of my life'. Ellie's song. Bugger. I'd gone pretty much all night without missing her, and thinking about her too deeply, but then it kinda hit me how much I actually was missing her. She wasn't there with me, dancing close to me and putting her hands on me. I really miss her. I really wish she was hear with me now :*(
Although her brother and her friends don't really understand me, and understand anything about what me and el have together after everything that happened, we both decided last week I should come down and not really give a fuck about what anyone says. The way she see's it - we're gonna be together no matter waht anyone says, so if they see she's happy and I make her happy, how can they be cross with me? Sure to win!
I downed this drink earlier with tequila in it, and I can still taste it every time I think about it and I can't help but think about it. It was soooo horrible. I didn't want to waste a drink. I hate tequila. I think it's just me, but I think it smells and tastes like smokey bacon. No, wait - BAD smokey bacon.
My ankles are incredibly sore tonight, and I really have no worries about sleeping as long as I can tomorrow. It's a Sunday, and I'll sleep all day if I can!
Merry thinks I should come to the Leeds meet up in December. Tonight John told me I should go too. I'm going to think about it now, and work out whether I'd be able to afford it... John should bring Daphne to it. I reckon she'd like the randomness of a gapyear meet up.
I should be drunk right now with the amount of crap I had (including Absinthe) but I'm stone cold sober. Disappointed about that, but at least I managed to only spend £2.05 on a bus home instead of £25 on a taxi! That's a bonus!
Rambled on enough.... sleepies!!!
current mood:  sore
current music: The Proclaimers - I know I'm gonna be (500 miles)
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| Monday, September 27th, 2004
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10:04 am
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It's Monday, and I'm taking a well deserved day off from my work. I've felt so shit over the weekend, that I just cannot get the energy to put up with my bitch manager. Thank God I have a mere couple of weeks left there.
I can't believe I haven't updated on here for quite a bit. A lot has been happening in my rollercoaster life at the moment. I've made some horrendous bad judgements, and made some decisions that really will turn out to be the wrong ones, and that is seriously messing up my head.
I'm seeing the doctor next week, for more than one reason might I add. Maybe now I can finally start to get my head together. I opened up about all the shit and torment I've had to put up with since I was one year old, that I can still remember clearly, so that getting everything off of my chest is working wonders in calming me down.
I really have to get back to bed. I have a terrible pain in my back and in my ankles and my head is swimming. *groan*
current mood:  exhausted
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| Friday, September 17th, 2004
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10:53 am - Bugger!
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It's been a tough past couple of weeks. I haven't enjoyed it much.
Firstly, can I say my prayers to
![[info]](http://library.vu.edu.pk/cgi-bin/nph-proxy.cgi/000100A/http/web.archive.org/web/20050204055627im_/http:/=2fstat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) bang_youre_dead 's Mum who is ill. My thoughts are with her, Val. Keep smiling babe.
Well done to Hearts FC last night! What a game!
I'll write a proper account of the last couple of weeks or so later on. Is anyone still alive on here reading this, or do I still talk to myself? Hmm.
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| Wednesday, August 25th, 2004
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11:20 am
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| Saturday, July 17th, 2004
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3:09 pm
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2:48 pm
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| Friday, June 4th, 2004
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4:35 pm
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What is so wrong with her mind that she couldn't wait a week? A week for fucks sake. Seven days....
It's started to sink in more today. Confidence took a major kick yesterday.
Sorry, I'm ranting.
current mood:  pissed off
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| Wednesday, May 5th, 2004
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2:12 pm
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Thanks to Andy, for this...erm...piece! ;)
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| Tuesday, March 9th, 2004
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9:37 am
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| Monday, May 12th, 2003
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7:33 pm - bloody hell
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Wow
Twas January since I last used this thing. I'd like to say I was busy- but you know me- i was just being a lazy sod!
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| Monday, January 6th, 2003
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10:35 am
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Whats's gray and comes in pints?
An elephant!
current mood: piss
current music: "Sing"- Travis
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| Sunday, January 5th, 2003
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7:51 pm
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How cool? Wow, Val did the decorating on my new look diary!! I like it val! I like it a lot!
You rock
current mood:  pleased
current music: theme of Coronation Street
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4:26 pm
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"When someone annoys you remember: it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, but it takes only 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap them upside the head."
-Unknown
current mood:  frustrated
current music: moby
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| Monday, December 30th, 2002
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10:50 pm - Val
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Val is weird.
i have nothing more to say on that.........
current mood: what the hell is recumbent?
current music: ozzy
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5:13 pm - quote of the day
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"your trousers are that tight i can see what religion you are"
Sent in a text from Holly!
hahaha
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12:46 pm - cereal
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why is it so yummy. beats me...
current mood: fulfilled
current music: songs in my head
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12:27 pm - bugger
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why does it have to fucking rain, right when i wanna go out.........
current mood: tired and "dont give a fuckish
current music: avril, the whole friggin album on repeat. brain dead
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| Sunday, December 29th, 2002
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6:32 pm - cereal
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....have eaten too much
current mood: Shite
current music: anything loud and fucked up
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| Friday, August 24th, 2001
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4:04 pm - aaaargh
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oh my god, today is just a bad day for me. it started off with me having to get up at 7;30 this morning after having a drinking session at steves bar in potosi, which was ok down to the fact that the girls took part in the wet t shirt contest. things got boring after that.
got up, and decided i was gonna be in a pissed off mood, cos i really dont give a fuck about any cunt when i get started. ans another counselor really pissed me off. at riflery, and archery before that, he came and he done nothing at all, just expected me to do everything while he sat on his arse and watched. i wasnt having any of that shit from him. i was putting the guns back in the cabinette and he said something, i cant remember what and i said something back, he asked what i said cos apparently i didnt say it loud enough, so i said it pretty much louder. he got all defensive and nasty about me shouting at him, so i just went off the handle at him about being a lazy and ignorant cunt, and was ready to put him in his place for being an absolute wanker.
then he stormed off. didnt bother helping to clear up or take the ammo back or nothing. work shy arse hole. he then went and bubbled to jay i pressume, cos we both had archery next, so i seen jay come to archery in the probable case that i was gonna start on ans again. as if i would do a thing like that huh? lol
big fucking dick head, i just wish he would fuck off back to darkie land and out my sight. god i wanna go home now. cant wait.
still in love with heather. still havent told her. still scared.
current mood: pissed
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confused