Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in meghan's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, May 20th, 2004
6:29 pm	now he on the sideline starin' at my clique. thank you, caitlyn, for the mixed c.d. and for the cold. <3 five more days. gee. golly. gosh. atleast now i can listen to the reason on the way. Current Mood: appreciative. Current Music: tipsy - j-kwon.
6 moose drink cranberry juice.
Tuesday, May 18th, 2004
12:00 pm	maybe there is hope. JUST MARRIED IN MASSACHUSETTS. Just as the clock hit midnight on Monday, Massachusetts became the first state in the nation to permit gays and lesbians to wed. Cambridge City Hall welcomed hundreds of same-sex couples who hugged, cried, cheered, and applied for the marriage licenses many thought they would never see in their lifetimes. i hear rhode island is next. Current Mood: sighhhh. <3333 Current Music: massamassamassamassachusetts.
2 moose drink cranberry juice.
Thursday, May 13th, 2004
8:33 pm	today my feelings got hurt more than ever. well, it all started in fourth period. we all went to the computer lab to do the academy of reading. everyone begins to crowd around one computer and stuff. of course, everyone was watching the nick berg video (sorry samantha) like it was a goddamned movie or something. emily and i were getting very frustrated as they played it over and over and made inappropriate gestures and comments and occassionally laughed. actually, we got pretty pissed. everyone takes advantage of ms. johnson so much. i can't breathe. i hate everyone in that classroom. so, ms. johnson came over and saw what they were looking at. she got a disgusted look on her face and told them to turn it off and watch it when they got home. i was excited that she made them do something she said for a change. mr. hartsfield was supposed to block all of those sites anyway but i guess he missed one. we went back to the classroom after that and ms. johnson decided to strike up a discussion about the video. everything was going greatttt and people were even starting to act mature and shit. until i speak up about ONE FUCKING THING and then i hear something behind me. i think the two lesbians in the front need to shutup. great. fucking thanks, brandon brinkley. if you died, i would do your mother at your funeral. ok. this made me furious. i turned around and yelled a lot. i even stood up to that mean carly girl. and that is a big step because she scares me. i swear, i have never been so mad in all my life. i think what really baffled me was the fact that just because i am a lesbian they feel that it should have some sort of effect on my freedom of speech. i wish i could go back into the closet. it isn't very possible though. i really do wish that emily and i both could just go back in and everything would be ok and normal and no one would ever feel uncomfortable around us. when i came out i really never thought that people would base everything on the fact that i am gay. i swear. or i would have never came out. please. someone explain to me how people i don't even know or have ever spoken to know about me/emily and i.??? how does the whole school know? i do wish i could fit in and be liked at least a little bit but i cannot change who i am. especially not to please any of those bastards. so, even though i would like to be accepted, if you can't then fine. how about just stop pretending. please. if any of you are pretending to like me/be my friend, just stop. even if you think you are doing me good. yes, i have feelings but in the end it would hurt me a lot more to find out later. i am not speaking to all of my friends. i have a few genuine ones. but if you talk about me and emily when we are not around/makes jokes about our homosexuality then this is for you. and i know there are some of you who do that. why does it matter what sex we are? we love each other. we have the same kind of love for each other that heterosexuals do. anyway around it, i am sick of people and their two-faced shit and using their religions as an excuse to hate people and get away with it. suck on it, bitch. i like the rest of you though. :>D Current Mood: sad/hurt/scared/frustrated. Current Music: finger eleven.
39 moose drink cranberry juice.
Wednesday, May 12th, 2004
7:11 pm	not everything is as it seems. yea. so i was trying to download the hoobastank video for the reason. it finished downloading and i pressed play. i swear on everything ever that i just saw the most terrible/disgusting/sad thing i have ever seen in my entire life. i really do feel sick to my stomach. instead of it being the reason by hoobastank, it was the reason iraqis are dickhead motherfuckers. and so. yea. i just saw the beheading of nick berg. omg. i want to cry. and kill myself. and vomit chunks. of blood. that was so sad. they didn't do it with a fucking axe like fast or anything. they did it with like a steak knife and sawed it off. and you could hear his screaming and crying. and then they held it up. wtf. i am terrified to live. i've seen shit like that in the movies but never in real life. i mean, i just saw the actual death of someone. i feel like such a bad person for not stopping it and shutting down kazaa but i was like paralyzed because at first i didn't even know what it was. why did they do that? he was a freaking civilian. wtf. sure, american prison dudes took pictures and shit with iraqi prisoners and that was REALLY wrong. but all they did was humiliate them. what are we going to do? i am completely terrified. i think i am going to go pray. Current Mood: paralyzed. Current Music: w.t.f..f.f.
4 moose drink cranberry juice.
Sunday, May 9th, 2004
6:02 pm	fight for your rights. please take the time to sign this petition and spread the word. i took the time to create it. make a difference and put a stop to all this hate. please. someone has to do something. http://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeaction/148863689 Current Mood: hopeful
3 moose drink cranberry juice.
Thursday, May 6th, 2004
9:00 pm	wow. i just realized that caroline from the outkast video looks just like cheri from school. a lot. gosh. Current Mood: oh. Current Music: roses - outkast.
moose drink cranberry juice.
Wednesday, May 5th, 2004
7:53 pm	there has to be somewhere that we can be safe from the lives we live each day. today i got my feelings hurt. a lot. when i decided to come out i really wasn't expecting to have to go through what i have gone through in the past year. i guess i just didn't think that people were going to look at me any different. or that people that i never even speak to gossip about me. PEOPLE I HAVEN'T EVEN TOLD. so. today i was sitting in computer class. i was listening to a song that i am very fond of. and i said to someone beside me that my stomach was hurting. now just after i said that i heard someone say something behind me. i turned down my music just because i had suspicions that she may have been talking about me. i was right. i pretended to still be listening to my music while ashley went on to tell a boy sitting beside her that she knew why my stomach was hurting. i thought it was going to be a fat joke. you know. that's nothing to me anymore. well, it wasn't. she then said that it was probably because of something i had been eating. and then to confirm that i was a dyke. i wanted to vomit. and still do. why are people so mean? what have i done to anyone? why can't everyone just get along and love one another? it shouldn't matter if i'm bisexual or lesbian or heterosexual for that matter. gosh. Current Mood: crushed Current Music: penny & me - hanson.
6 moose drink cranberry juice.
Friday, April 30th, 2004
9:46 pm	making cookies. (no, caitlyn. real cookies.) maybe if you have some free time tomorrow between the hours of 10:00 a.m. & 3:00 p.m. you could come by wal-mart & check out our bake sale/make a donation. all proceeds go to a good cause. getting us poor folks to italy and back. maybe we'll even get you a souvenir. or if you want you could just come by and say hey. because that would be nice. Current Mood: one more cookie. i'll die. Current Music: the reason - hoobastank.
moose drink cranberry juice.
Sunday, April 25th, 2004
12:22 pm	tonight at eight on ABC family. brave new girl. this will be the best movie that anyone has ever seen. ever. it's going to change lives. ( aw. gah. sigh. ) Current Mood: omg.omg.omg.
2 moose drink cranberry juice.
Wednesday, April 21st, 2004
9:43 pm	and to yourself, you must be true... so. you know. um. frankfurt, germany. for three hours. lots of shaking REAL german people's hands and taking pictures. the only thing i know how to say correctly is ICH_BIN_FETT. ahhahaa. can't you see me going around and that being the only thing i can say? i don't understand how i am going to be able to breathe. i am so excited. you people just don't understand. i was already excited about italy. and now this. there is no way that i am not getting on that plane now. there was a slim chance that i might have seizures or something but no. i'm going to pee/nut my pants. my fear of flying has been renewed. you know. on final destination. his plane left at the time of his birthday. i mean, say his birthday was june 17th. the plane left at 6:17. anyhow. you know. 4:22 pm is one of the times that we will be taking off. YES. wow. freaky shit and i just might die. but atleast mr. florencio worked it out so that we would all be on the same plane. if he hadn't done that then i would be on a plane with alexander williamson and mark therrien. the mark part wouldn't be so bad because um. yum. mr. florencio said that they will make you take off your shoes at the airport because people smuggle drugs and sneak weapons onto the plane underneath the things inside their shoes. neat. also, he said we shouldn't go to sleep the night before. because we leave at 2:52 pm on tuesday may 25th. it will be an a long ass flight. when we get there it will be daylight there and night time here. so, we will be all of schedule. i don't know how i am going to be able to go to sleep on the plane. i will be so excited. i will definitely be sitting beside the window when we land in germany. you know. i mean, this may be my only chance to ever go anywhere. especially germany. and i don't care if we are just staying for three hours in one building. dear lord. germany. people. germany. hahahasa. i guess mr. florencio knows of my obsession with germany/germans now. i told him i was going to vomit/pee all over the place because of my excitement. he just kind of stared blankly at me. :-D wow. i'm so lucky. i even get to be there with my favorite person in the world. i mean, really. guess what else? um. my grandfather owns his own business. and um he uh wrote letters to other corporations and shit and. you know. a bunch of people sponsored me. so, now i have just a little over $850 to spend in italy. my grandfather is also buying me new luggage. everything is working out. oh. i just don't understand. we can't afford this. but we did. thanks to rich kin. this kind of thing cannot happen. i don't go on airplanes to foreign countries. gosh. crapface. hey. this sunday. at 8:00 pm on abc family. watch the best movie ever made. BRAVE NEW GIRL. <3 NIA, HAVE FUN IN FLORIDA. I'LL MISS YOU. LOVE YOU, GIRL.<3333333.!!!!!. ps: dear god. how about we just look past the whole you being homophobic and me being gay thing for once. i never ask much of you, or even speak to you for that matter. so, please make my family buy me the camera i want for my birthday. i think they are planning on it but my mom can't even afford a much wanted birthday party at chuck e cheese. please. i'll be good. thanks. ( sighhh. ) Current Mood: aw. sigh. giggle. Current Music: brave new girl - britney spears.
2 moose drink cranberry juice.
Sunday, April 18th, 2004
11:26 pm	( i guess i need you, baby. ) Current Mood: sleepy
7 moose drink cranberry juice.
Friday, April 16th, 2004
9:33 pm	hey. i'm cleaning up my friends list so if you want to stay on just comment and yea. ( one of my favorite paintings. ) Current Mood: ok.
8 moose drink cranberry juice.
12:01 am	taken from matt (tech_romance). I want anyone who reads this to ask me 3 questions, no more no less. Ask me anything you want. Then I want you to go to your journal, copy and paste this allowing your friends (including myself) to ask you anything. Current Mood: numb Current Music: bad english.
9 moose drink cranberry juice.
Sunday, April 11th, 2004
10:45 am	( happy easter. ) Current Mood: happy.
4 moose drink cranberry juice.
Friday, March 26th, 2004
7:37 pm	and whatever you do, it seems someone has done it first... ( someone must have drank my half-filled cup of water. ) Current Mood: hunnd huund hunddd.
4 moose drink cranberry juice.
Thursday, March 25th, 2004
10:44 pm	omg. italy. is. going. to. be. great. Current Mood: excited
5 moose drink cranberry juice.
Wednesday, March 24th, 2004
9:32 pm	i just want you to come back home to me... so yea. we're walking across the street to uh take a picture of the uh field and sky and just as we are stepping off of the street you know BAMAdsd. a sound like someone had just had a blowout or threw something onto the road. we turn around and there is poor little gee gee just laying there. not moving. at all. i just stand there. not able to move. or breathe. or think. and emily runs to her. she picked her up and uh told me to uh go and call her sister. so i did while emily laid gee gee in a towel on the couch. she was in shock for a while. we would uh hold our uh hands in front of her eyes and she wouldn't follow them. she just stared at nothing in particular. and then she started crying and howling. and finally she would follow our hands when we would move them in front of her. and she tried to get up a lot but emily held her down. and uh emily and i were frantic and uh crying. a whole lot. but emily knew just what to do. i can't believe this happened to gee gee. but i can't believe that she lived through it even more. yea. she's alive. at the vet, but alive. it seems that she was hit not run over. she like bounced off. she is so lucky. if she had taken like one more step into the street then she would be dead. she's so old and so small. i thought she was dead. when i saw her in the road i really thought she was just flatdeaddsdkd. it all just seems so unreal. it is real eerie around the house now. empty and stuff without her. we think she will be ok. thank the powers that be that she doesn't have any broken bones because her mother said that if she did then she would uh have her put to uh sleep. that isn't too nice. it is all really sad and exhausting. and i don't like the sound of cars hitting dogs. ever. and if i never hear that sound again i will be happy. and the sad thing of it is that the fucking car didn't slow down before or after hitting gee gee. just doodododododdo 65 MPH *HIT A DOG* 65 MPH dodododod. they didn't even stop. wtf. what is this goddamned world coming to? i miss her. emily's brave. think real hard about gee gee getting better and maybe she will heal faster. thanks. Current Mood: i don't know what to think.
2 moose drink cranberry juice.
Thursday, March 18th, 2004
8:23 pm	if i were a pencil, i'd write all over you... i got my permit today. i don't even want to drive. ever. Current Mood: yea. Current Music: invisible - clay aiken.
6 moose drink cranberry juice.
Sunday, March 14th, 2004
7:49 pm	i want to go where everybody knows my name. Dear meghan: You are really _____. You should _____. We need to go _____. After that we can _____. Remember that time we _____? That was real _____. Maybe tomorrow we can _____. You are my _____. I _____ you! Signed your _____, _____ p.s. _____. Current Mood: you're so much better than me. Current Music: love is the right place - bryan white.
6 moose drink cranberry juice.
Saturday, March 13th, 2004
10:56 pm	forgive them, o lord, they don't know. sure. forget about bin laden. get them crazy gays. they did crash planes all over the u.s., afterall. i thought there was something somewhere that said there must be a seperation of church and state. yea. well, it looks to me like we have a goddamned preacher running our country. homosexuality is sin. ok. whateva. everyone sins though. EVERYONE. you cannot go a day in your life without sinning. the only difference in these sins is that one gets more attention than any of the others. WHY? fucking why goddamnit. whatever happened to every man being treated as equals? no matter what their religion, race, or anything like that? just because bush comes into office everything is invalid just because he doesn't agree with it? FINE, G. DUBYA, DON'T GET FUCKED IN THE ASS BY A PENIS, BUT LEAVE ALL OF US RAINBOW HUGGERS ALONE AND LET US BE HAPPY, BITCH. p.s.: if you have ever seen the passion of the christ and didn't cry a lot or even contemplate repenting right there in the theatre then you should die because you have no heart. Current Mood: where am i going? Current Music: emily singing the star spangled banner.
9 moose drink cranberry juice.