Sarananda's Journal
20 most recent entries

Date:2005-01-19 17:56
Subject:Quickie
Security:Public

I've been sick. bleck. Spanish germs suck. Okay, it hasn't been that bad but its been oveer a week of coughing and sniffling and just being generally annoyed at the inconveniece. I've been taking herbs and vitamins and it seems to be helping -my illness hasn't been nearly as bad as just about everyone else's here. "El gripe" (the flu) is in epidemic form here right now...so low energy = not updating the journal, etc. And more will come later. I am generally feeling positive about my classes though am waiting for some information from PSU to see what, if anything, else I need to do to recieve an actual Spanish degree...grrr..I don't like waiting. And I've been thinking a lot about what I'll be doing in 4 and a half months when classes end. I have some ideas...we'll see. I'm generally feeling optimistic about life and looking forward to Spring. Plus my ablity to express myself in Spanish is improving by leaps and bounds. Vocabulary building. Grammar pracitce...weeee...
I have homework and will write more later.

Kisses.

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Date:2005-01-11 15:03
Subject:
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I have so much to write. My dark christmas. My moments of clarity. The distance between my soulself and my insecurity. Moments of confrontation -with me. Journeys within. Analyzing way too much...
As well as moments of knowing and understanding that even though I have felt incredibly alive during the last 3 months I have also had this sense of myself as a shadow -which has to do with my self expression and how I have, in some fundamental ways, tied my sense of self to the words that I say. That is to say, how I express my thoughts feelings and ideas verbally... What a strange contradiction that is -to feel alive and excited and shadowy all at the same time.. But one of my beautiful moments came when I realized that even though I had felt like my image to the world was one dimensional -and wavery at that -the reality was that other parts of my being came across (duh!). I realized this when Irma, who started out as my conversation exchange partner and who is now my friend, gave me gifts of books and candles. In one of the books she had written an inscription that made reference to "the optimism which characterizes(me)". It was shocking to me that she even had an opinion what might characterize which in turn showed me how I had been perceiving myself in this world and with my words...I also realized that I had been really fearful that I wouldn't make friends here -that people would brush me off or not bother to take the time to get to know me, would see me as transitory or too much effort, but I have realized that I have made real friends.
Inner demons of self perception...

So if I haven't written as much or been as attentive as I should be, its because I've been wandering through the underworld a bit...not in a bad way, but definitely distracted.
Thank you to everyone who has written cards and letters. I have them all the cards set up on my window sill and they are much appreciated!

Love.

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Date:2005-01-04 17:02
Subject:
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That photo was still too big...oh well..

Life is good. I was going to write a decent sized entry but now I feel more like wandering around than sitting in front of computer.

*kisses*

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Date:2005-01-04 16:54
Subject:
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Date:2004-12-28 15:29
Subject:
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Does anyone have an opinion regarding where the dollar is going in relation to the euro. I still have some dollars to change. I can wait a while but what are the odds that it will recover in the next few months?

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Date:2004-12-17 16:54
Subject:
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Little things....
I've had finals all this week and have gotten all my grades for the term but 2. So far they have all been "A"s. The scale here is 1-10 (9-10 translated into "A")and I recieved a 10 in my phonetics class...the lowest score so far has been a 9 (in grammar)(9.5 in vocab). I'm expecting more of the same for history and art history. But anyhow...the stress of exams has ended and I only have a few more classes left of the term until Christmas break begins Wednesday of next week. I will be staying in Oviedo with lots of time to think, write, walk while enjoying the festivites of the holidays.

I weighed myself the other day and I've lost almost 20 pounds -without even trying! I'm starting to feel like I'm swimming in my clothes.

The dollar against the euro sucks. Cramping my style...

I got my visa extension today which included my super-fancy official number for my entire stay in Spain-like a social securty #...

Last night (this morning really) I had a nightmare about returning to the US. I had returned because I had a flight and hadn't really thought about it..I was walking through the university when I was overcome by fear, anxiety, saddness and this horrible sense of "what the hell have I done.." People faces where like masks (one I could identify as Drue..walking passed me). I started running and running trying to find a computer in order to buy a ticket back to Spain but they were all shut down. I found an aquantance of mine from Common Ground, who was being harshing/violently kissed by her boyfriend, which really offended me, who worked there and I begged her for the use of her computer -panicked by the desolation and emptiness of the world around me. We were going to her office when I woke up to my alarm...phew..

Quiero escribir en español. Eso es como pienso la mayoría del tiempo...lo que yo intento hacer. La música de la lengua está en mi alredador por la mañana hasta la noche. Tiene un rítmo que me encanta y tiene un mundo entero para la imaginación -gramática especial...es una lengua donde se puede indicar sueños y deseos y fantasías. El mundo real es el mundo de cada propia persona -el hablador.
Tengo much tiempo hasta mi próxima clase cuando sabré la nota final para el trimestre. Todavía tengo que comer y tengo un bocadillo de tortilla con jamón. Comen mucho jamón aquí.
Poco á poco estoy más acustumbrada a la forma de "vosotros" y puedo usarla en los tiempos básicos. También estoy pensando en las asignaturas que quiero tener en Enero -Gramática (otra vez), literatura, traducción, arte, y no sé que más...pero, bueno...vamos a ver...

besos a todos...amor, suerte y salúd...

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Date:2004-12-10 15:25
Subject:
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How did it get to be December? I haven't sent any postcards or letters in 2 and a half months! Life has been such a whirlwind of experiences, sensations, thoughts, moments, prayers, and fiestas...The idea of Christmas is also a little strange. All of my cultural refrences are being reprogramed. I don't feel the normal onslaught of pressure to buy/spend/consume/believe. But here it is definately the holiday season. Every street has tons of lights and in the old center there is classical music piped to the streets! The main plaza has a wonderfully gaudy/tacky display to the nativity story -maniquins dressed up in beards and robes in elaborate scenes of the annunciation, no room at the inn, etc -complete with these blinky neon palm trees! Spain is not a very religious place, but religion is everywhere. In fact, it has one of the lowest church attendance rates of Europe and is way less than the United States. Every religious holiday is an excuse for a fiesta -no work and lots of fun.
Other cultural refrences that are being reprogramed -funky colored hair. You can't tell a damn thing about a person by the color of their hair. There are old ladies with purple and black hair -houswives with maroon. Bright colores are for "normal" women. The Spanish seem to express their individuality in their opinions -which they are likely to express loudly and with lots of hand gestures. The don't look for accord, they look to express and to hear others opinions. At times this can be a bit different for me. What I notice about the US is that we value individualism but don't want to offend which means that we don't debate unless it is with good friends or as an intelectual exercise. We seek to minimize the appearence of differences of opinion. Here religion and politics are on the plate -always. If you don't want to hear the answer, don't ask. Its distinct. When things get a little heated, its getting good!
Other stuff:
Eggs are sold unrefrigerated and often kept that way in the house.
Cooked meat is kept on the counter overnight and into the next day.
Drinking goes like this: wine from 8 to midnightish (you might stop to have dinner around 10 or you might just keep munching on the tapas as you change bars every glass) then you pretty much can't get wine anymore and its the hour for booze. The Spanish are notorious for "just one more"...keeping the evening going is a dance and an art -but quite predictable. Why on earth would anyone want to cut short a good time in order to go to bed? The motto seems to be "live in the moment and enjoy". Beautiful!

This last weekend was a "puente" -5 days off for me. I didn't travel and I ended up with a little cold -nothing serious, I just slept alot and was thankful that I brought some herbs with me which cut short the sick time (though now I don't have anymore...). I am thinking about the Christmas break and where I want to go. There are flights from Santander (close to here) to various cities in Europe for less than 20 Euros -I was thinking about going to Sevilla and Granada but it will cost me at leat 100 Euros and I'd have to travel by bus...so, I'm going to do a little investigating and decide..

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Date:2004-12-03 18:32
Subject:
Security:Public
Mood: happy

I need to get to the rest of my pictures. I have tons in my camera...

Toledo was a really good trip though it is one of those cities where I feel really ungrounded and not particularly at home. Prague was like that for me too -beautiful but uncomfortable. I don't know if I am reacting to the architecuture, street layout, the energy or vibe...It doesn't seem to be language because, well, I speak Spanish and I still had that sensation. I felt immediately comfortable and at home in Paris, for example. But I digress...Toledo is a city in shades of brown and gold with twisty, turny, windey streets -long and narrow. It is the city of El Greco -whose work I love. It is a city that was vibrant and flourished with cutures and commerce, that has its history in the Roman and Visigoth occupations of Iberia. Typical food of Toledo is that of the hunting tradition so one night I splurged with Laura and Jonathan and we had a fantastic meal of Perdiz (Partridge) and Ciervo (Venison). I love trying the typical food of any new place that I go and I wasn't disapointed! Heavenly. Toledo is also know for Marzapan which I also tried. I have lots of pictures and will trying to get something posted soon -though this weekend is a "puente" (bridge) and I don't have school again until next thursday -and the next week is finals!
Other Toledo experiences: lots of wine with Laura, Museums and Churches, the light was stunning, covered streets, cats, visigoth museum, music in the streets.
I've been here just over 2 months -it feels like so much longer, but in a really really good way.
Wednesday night we had our end of the term party. It was quite fun though way too warm. The wine and sidra was flowing and there was lots of food. The Spanish husband of the directora of the program told me that I have hardly any accent!! This made me extremely happy. Every week I feel like more of the language puzzle is put into place but I seem to be forgetting my english. My spelling has always been really bad but becoming used to spanish spelling which is mostly phonentic -i tend to want to spell english this way...
There is so much more to write but my time is limited and I must send a birthday email to my step mom and get to class.

I am so thankful for this experience!

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Date:2004-11-24 16:03
Subject:
Security:Public
Mood: calm

Thanksgiving is thursday? It seems so odd, far away and inconsequential -granted, a fresh pumpkin pie would be awesome...and brussel sprouts. MMMm....Sushi..I miss sushi. And Thai food...I did have chinese the other day and it wasn't bad. They eat a lot of ham here -beautiful, glorious dry serrano ham and lots of legumbres (legumes) and cheeses.

I've forgotten what I was going to write about...

 

"¡Que Chachi!" means something akin to "how cool/awesome!" Though I haven't heard it used as much as "¡Que Guay!" which is pronounce close to the english "why" but with a little more throat.  I'm also learning the ins and outs of naughty slang words but can't really use them yet (and have it sound natural).

It is a beautiful day today -I'm headed to the park where there are a bunch of Pavo Reales (Royal Turkey aka Peacock) and a swan. The leaves are changing colors and the air is nippy. Parque San Francisco is in the center of town and is quite large and lovely. I will be taking pictures.

Tomorrow I go to Toledo -the city of three cultures - where Christians, Muslims, and Jews lived in relative harmony for centuries durning the middle ages. I intend to get lost in the city's nooks and crannies and dive into the plethora of El Greco paintings.

 

They've put up the christmas lights around the city but they aren't lit yet.

December looks to be a busy social time -dinners and parties.

I went to the Peluquería....beauty shop...and told them to cut off the equivalent of about 3 inches (my hair was really really really long) but like many Spanish people ("you want to eat more don't you...are you sure you aren't cold with out slippers, etc") she assumed that I didn't really mean that and cut off a lot more and made the layers in the stlye here-chuncky and choppy....ugh..I think its growing on my but I no longer consider myslef to have long hair -shoulder length would be more apt. Quite the change and vaguely traumatic....ha!

 

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Date:2004-11-19 17:44
Subject:¡venga! ¡anda! pues...sí
Security:Public
Mood: tired

I have been informed that I am spending Nochebuena (Christmas) with Isabel's family!! A good old fashioned Asturian Christmas! And after that...Granada...Sevilla..We'll see. My friend, Jonathan, mentioned the possiblity of my going with him to a friend's house in Italy and there is still the possibility of seeing Kat in Paris...A large part of me wants to stay in Spanish and in Spain -I feel like I am at a crucial point in my development of the language. Mi conocimento está expanding y mejorando...mmm..spanglish. I'm understanding more, more quickly -picking up vocab and grammar more easily and am able to understand A LOT even when people are speaking really really fast. My life feels surrounded by rhythm and expression...sound and fury. I love catching myself thinking fluidly in spanish or saying something with facility. Soon I won't even have to catch myself -it will simply be. Lately I am working on integrating colloquial expressions into my speech -naturally...quite fun.
Earlier last night Jonathan and I were at a wine bar and were discussing the differences entre culturas when it comes to the idea and practice of love at first sight. Both he and I have had very amorous persuers -he, a brasilian man and I, a man from Senagal. Neither of whom seem concerned with notions of taking it slow and getting to know a person before wanting to be with them -really, really with them...So we asked the bartenders about differences in significado entre te amo y te quiero and had a lovely conversation about when and how one says these things (none of which, I think, apply to our respective situations as Spanish culture is distinct from the other two...but was highly interesting none the less).

Today I am tired as I didn't get to bed until 6am...adventures walking a sweet but very drunk girl home -farther than any of us thought...with el profe..more time to quietly get to know him and still see if I'm interested...heehee.

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Date:2004-11-18 18:37
Subject:Dreams and Meditations
Security:Public

I've been having really vivid dreams the last two nights. First: it started out at a Country Fair that I've dreampt about before but doesn't exist in this reality -it was by the sea and forest, warm and lush. I was running and running through the forest along the sea. Gravity was something that barely affected me -it felt like I was flying with big bounding steps. I felt completely free and light in my body. Then I became aware of other humans and was running/flying with them. One of them was this beautiful light brown man. His lines of his face were scars and when he smiled they made the most beautiful design of a flower -it was stunning. I found myself really attracted to this man and realized that I, too, was light brown and I remember thinking that our children would be darker than us and how wonderful that would be.

Spanish is in my breath, thoughts and dreams these days. I'm giving in to it -floating around in the structure and rhythm of this language -thinking, questioning, moving. The percentage of time I spend thinking in English is getting smaller and smaller and my understanding is growing (what feels like) exponentially.

For Kat: I love that Isabel talks about intestinal regularity -it helps me feel at home!

Time marches on and History class approaches. I missed out on an opportunity to hang with some of my teachers because this damn class starts at 7pm and I can only miss very few and still get credit but I did get to have a nice relaxed conversation with el profesor. I'm feeling very mellow about my attraction which is nice...and I'm learning more about him which is also turning out to be nice... it is something enjoyable to feel but nothing that binds me.

Besos!

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Date:2004-11-17 14:48
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I am amazed at how quickly something will manifest once saying it outloud -at least the little things... I have recently started thinking about doing massage again -more in terms of healing and keeping that energy flowing than to make money. For the last two months my fingernails had grown quite long and I'd been enjoying that but once I said the words outloud -me echo de menos me trabajo -the next day they felt week and brittle and I cut them off. And we'll see what happens next....

I am really open these days. Open to everything -to making mistakes (which happens frequently!), to not making mistakes, to learning, experiencing, loving the world, feeling compassion, finding friendship, loving myself. The last time I was even close to this open was some 2ish years ago? when I found myself falling in love -against my better judgement -but the feeling was too wonderful, delicious and seductive to resist. An experience I wouldn't give up for the world as I learned so many wonderful, painful, hard, beautiful life lessons and I learned a ton about my own soul. I chose at some very deep level to have my heart broken. Because of these events, feelings I know myself so much better and today I have a much greater *depth* of openness -energetic, spiritual, joyful! I can physically feel the emmanation of joy sometimes (now) flowing from my heart. I smile to myself....La vida es buena. *besos a todos*

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Date:2004-11-13 19:41
Subject:I would kill for some Emergen-C
Security:Public
Mood: content

I feel full. I feel whole.
I am falling in love with this land and her people. My joy is bubbling up inside of me and there are moments where it feels like it is going to spill out me like a lava flow in rainbow colors and extatic vibrations of energy.

Yesterday I went to the mining museum and some of the shy ice was broken with el profesor -time will tell if he is interested and available. His energy is sweet and shy and he's got a sparkle in his eyes and an easy smile...

The man from Senegal keeps calling but *it* just isn't there for me -I like the idea not the reality. It would be a notch on my belt rather than a something to bolster my soul. I don't need or want anymore notches right now. Sex is the least important thing in my life currently. What I want is a sacred, reciprocated union. For a long time I haven't really wanted to be with someone in a profound way. Now if I can't have it all with someone else, then I still have all with myself. I feel no lack -no hole to be filled within me. I've been loved profoundly and I've loved profoundly but it has never matched up in the right time, space, person. I envision the union.

Last night I went for unos vinos con Laura, the art history professor, her partner, Carmen and Asami, the wonderful young Japansese girl who is quickly becoming my friend. The intent was to have a few glasses and then part to have dinner and then Asami and I were going to go the Cuban salsa bar for dancing at 12. The way it works is to change bars after every glass. Many bars have free little apetizers and it is normal to stand at the bar and talk while drinking slowly. Well, a few glasses of wine turned into 4 and then they invited us to their house for more wine and munchies. We ended up staying there til almost 4am -talking and laughing. I think I will always have older (than I) wonderful lesbians in my life! I really loved chilling out in a living room lit with candles and drinking wine. It felt like home -the activity -the space, everything. And their 8 month old cat curled up in my lap towards the end of the night -everytime I am in a house with a cat, it comes to me. I think the kitties know that I need some cat energy. I get to scratch their neck and they purrrrr. Then a joke or two is made about my being a massage therapist and how they will have to have me over to pet their cat in just the right way...or something along those lines... :)
The other wonderful part of the evening was when they brought out a CD by the Eugene Folklore Society (they have friends from Eugene -a Spanish professor and her partner who sings in this group). It was so amazing and beautiful to me to be sitting in a living room in Spain listing to music from my home town in Oregon!

Today I woke up late and with a bit of a headache and mostly have been studying.

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Date:2004-11-11 18:30
Subject:Random Ramblings
Security:Public

Again I find myself with a short bit of time between classes and sky here is as grey and rainy as the finest deluge that porltand can dish out. The difference between the rain here and the rain there is that here there are many more moments of sun. The weather really *does* change every 10 minutes. I still have moments of giddy joy where I realize again that I am here. It bubbles up from inside me, rain or shine -this sense of awe at what I've done and where I am. My Spanish conversation partner lent me a book entitled Conversations with God. I took it with some trepidation thinking it would be too Christian leaning and/or exclusive in its language but I've been finding it fascinating, wonderfully open and life affirming. And not just woo-woo new agey but based in what I consider spiritual truths. It has opened up new perspectives for me and put words to things I've felt but not been able to vocalize. In essence it is about recognizing god in all things and the process of creation that is life. We create our realities both individually and communally. Our journey is to *be* who we already *are* -to listen to our highest thought and feeling and make our choices from that place. There is no discovery, only re-remembering who you are at your core(soul). Everything we need is within us -all the answers, all the inspiration, all the knowledge. Each thought, word, and feeling is an act of creation -whether we are aware of it or not.

Tomorrow I get to go to Museo de la Mineria and descend in the belly of the earth to see how she has been raped. The other side of that is a feeling of anticipation at being enveloped by the earth -knowing how much weight is above me. Submarines and being far underwater freak me out but the idea of being surrounded by soil, rock, minerals is somehow comforting...

El profesór confuses me -in class he makes lots of eye contact and makes a point of saying hello or asking about something related but when I see him on the street he has this look like a deer in headlights who is about to bolt... but he has such a sweet energy about him. Maybe tomorrow I will get more of a chance to talk with him...

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Date:2004-11-08 14:42
Subject:
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...And Saturday night I went out with a group of 15 Spanish people -most of whom are in some kind of choir here and they sing REALLY well. I had an amazing time. They were open and joyful -full of laughter and playful ribbing. The food was great and they sang a lot at the dining table. Dinner was at 10:30ish and by 1 we were at the karaoke bar where all the songs (save one by Roxette -should have been love)were in spanish and we danced a lot and listened and cheered for people singing. They promised to call me to hang out more and go to a movie on Wednesday...we'll see. :) My social calandar is filling up!!

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Date:2004-11-08 14:39
Subject:Adventures and No Sex
Security:Public

After class on friday evening Asami (a very sweet Japanese girl who is in a few of my classes) and I went out for wine. We found this great little bar the evening before that was playing Portishead as we walked in. Later they played 3 or 4 Cure songs in a row. Anyhow...We were having a lovely time chatting and and watching the place fill to capacity when a couple of women sat near us -they have one huge long table where anyone sits. We started talking and they ended up inviting us to have dinner with them the next night and go for karaoke! I left around 11 to head home when I ran into a couple of girls from my program. I joined them for a drink and later went to a Cuban bar where there is a live band every friday and saturday starting at 1am. The music started and we were dancing a bit when very tall man asked me to dance...He wasn't the best dancer but not bad and I had a good time. When we decided to leave he made me promise to come back next friday so we could talk and spend time together... :).

Then on to the next bar. I rarely hang out with the American students because they mostly speak in english and a lot of them are really sheltered, immature and rather unpleasant...(some young women have this rhythm of speach: fast-fast-slooow "doyouliketheO.Ceeee?" -maddening) anyway -these girls I was with were really cool. 2 of the youngest in the group but with-it -which, again, goes to show that age doesn't really matter. Today in my intercultural class we were talking about male-female relationships and one of the girls was saying that young people here do the same "things" as they do in America but have more "challenges". The instructor asked for examples and the girl just repeated herself and got embarassed when I blurted out something about how they have a harder time finding a PLACE to have SEX. Everyone tittered...she said 'sex'..teehee...uhg! shoot me! Ranting about the sheltered/prudish nature of some of these girls was not my point...hmmm back to the story...So I was hanging out with these girls and we went into one of the bars where one of the girls had gotten smoked out several times previously (hash is plentiful here). I see this gorgeous black man with short dreads...Yum, I think to myself...

Later, it is about 3 am or so when I decide to head home and I see this guy standing in the crowed street (because it is always packed like a party on the weekend nights -because Spaniards know how to have a good time) and he starts talking to me. We go have a glass of wine. His name is Meissa and he is from Senagal and teaches African Dance here in Oviedo. Prior to that he lived in France for a bit doing the same and theater. So,we smoke a little and I decide I'm ready to go home. All the while he's telling me how difficult it was to speak to me and how beautiful I am and how he loves tall strong women, and how he is enamored of me...I don't buy most of it but it is nice to hear. He kisses me goodbye and promises to call me the next day. He calls me 4 times the next day. We agree to meet Sunday for a drink. Again he tells me how much he wants me to be his girlfriend. I tell him I can make no promises and that I will do what I please. He tries to assure me that we don't have to see each other everyday but that he really digs me and for him he is my boyfriend. Ugh. So we hang out a little more and make out a bit. I got a good vibe from him -a sense of sincerity but at the same time I just didn't feel the flame that I wanted to feel. I'm at a point in my life where I'm not going to have sex just for the sake of having it -having an orgasm. If all the elements aren't right for me in a given moment then I'm not going there. I can take care of myself if I want to and usually do it better than most guys. He didn't push me or plead for anything more than kisses (in fact he says he likes complicated women who go slow). I'm kinda sad that I couldn't dredge up more passion for this beautiful man -skin like liquid dard chocolate, cheekbones to die for, a wirey compact dancers body....and sweet too! He's told me he wants kids and a family etc, etc...Maybe its the capricorn thing -when ever I've tried to date or  have sex with another capricorn it feels to me like there is a lead weight between us..*shrugh* It is what it is and I'm usually cognisant enough to know what I want at any given moment...

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Date:2004-11-08 13:48
Subject:
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Date:2004-11-05 17:56
Subject:experiment
Security:Public

 Cow )

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Date:2004-11-04 18:20
Subject:
Security:Public
Mood: thankful

Welcome [info]jonwalls ! Another student here in Oviedo from my program.

My weekend was good. We had an excursion to Galicia, another independant province of Spain, also in the north and also a moist region. Our first stop was A Coaña -an ancient fortified town occupied by the Celts and probaly the Romans. The houses were all circular and made of stone. The roofs are long gone but it was really interesting to see such a well preserved archeological site. Next was La Coruña -a largeish city in Galicia. I really enjoyed it and want to go back. The men were really handsome and the seafood was amazing. Galicia is a land of folklore and legends. There are tons of stories about gnomes, witches, trolls, and giants and all the shops sold little figurines of fantastical creatures and happy witches! I ended up going out for wine and tapas with Laura and Jon. Laura is the art history professor. She is a short dykey woman with a taste for good wine and conversation. It was quite fun and we topped off the night in a very red bar staffed and patronized by transexuals? in drag? It was in La Coruña that I saw really gothy folks that obviously had places to go hang out. It was good to see some more obvious diversity.

The next day we went to Santiago de Compostela where the tomb of Saint James is supposed to be (though I read in the tourist literature in Oviedo that it is really the tomb of a pantheist nature lover). It is one of the top three pilgramage sites for the christian world. There were tons of people but it was very impressive and the city is quite charming -old with narrow winding streets. It is an important university town and during the middle ages extremely prestegious (right after Salamanca where the 1st university in Spain began).

On the way back from the trip we stopped in Lugo where there is the largest and best preserved Roman wall. It was huge! and you can walk all the way around it on top.

Today I went with my art history class to the cathedral in Oviedo. This church began in the 8th century and beautifully illustrates changes in art andarchitecture throughout the ages -preromanesque-romanesque-gothic-baroque. We payed to get into the museum, camara santa and cloister. It was here that I had an amazing sensation -I felt like I had been there before -in the cloister and recreation room and the oldest preromanesque part that is attached to the cloisture. I could feel myself moving through time and space. I could feel myself congregating in the reading/choir room and behind the alter. I could see the robes and feel the walls and hear the music. It was...strange. I could feel myself being a man. I could feel myself content and quiet -if not happy.

All I want to take pictures of is religious imagerey -up close and personal. It is so frustrating that one is not supposed to take photos in many churches -but I am sometimes a naughty girl and take them anyway. God bless the digital camera without flash. Yes, I will be posting them sometime soon.

 

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Date:2004-11-04 12:50
Subject:This land is your land, this land is my land?
Security:Public

I feel as if I have lost a beloved family member. If the results are real and true, it is not so much that I don't want to be a part of such a country and system but more I feel excluded, like it is no longer mine -the "majority" have spoken. They have asked for slavery, for rigid fundamentalist thinking, for fear, for mistaken morality, for fascism. I am not wanted. My voice is not heard. Portland is like an oasis -a country unto itself -that has little to do with rest of that vast land yet it is affected by those values, by the marketing, by the big box stores, by the taxes its citizens have to pay, by the laws...it is subject to all of these things. When so many people embrace fear, what good can come?

I am in mourning.

And here I am in a country that is ostensibly catholic but embraces wholeheartedly the value of Live and Let Live -Where it looks like gay marriage will be a reality in a few months. It is way more socially liberal here than I thought it would be.

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