Saturday, August 18th, 2001
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12:50 am
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my cousin is cool
ideal ego: word
auto response
Smp679: Went to da beach hit me up on my celly(4724348) if ya needs me later
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(comment on this)
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12:45 am
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stupid kodi broke my accoustic guitar. im grounded. somebody called my house and asked if i was ''still dealing'' ... they asked my parents.. ive never dealed anything in my life... and htf am i gonna get my parents to realise it was a prank.... plus i got the speeding ticket... ugh.. suck... i saw aUdinimus after school today. and jessica called. woo woo.
current mood:  frustrated
current music: bright eyes - exaltation on a cool, kitchen floor
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(comment on this)
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Wednesday, August 15th, 2001
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10:30 pm
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hahahah... heres my predicKament.... i like autumn... she makes me happy... all the time im around her... im always joking or smiling... shes always joking back... then im with my girlfriend jessica... im always joking... we laugh... then shes quiet... says nothing back.... she tells me her depressing sories of her abusive mom. i dont want this shit. i want to be all happpy in a relationship.. not worrying about my girlfriend.... i like autumn alot more... but... i dont want to hurt jessicas feelings... but now i think its to late.
oh yea.. im out of the band.. i quit.. i dont konw if i already told everyone... this time its permanent.. i dont need the band. just kodi. ok bye.
current mood:  confused
current music: Hum - Apollo
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(3 comments |comment on this)
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Tuesday, August 14th, 2001
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6:58 pm
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i drove jessica home. we stopped at the graveyard and talked for a while. im going to meet her parents tomarrow... or her mom. i dunno. im not really looking forward to it.
then i drove to the gas station got some gas and a cherry sundrop for autumn. i felt all happy.. doo dooo... my hair looked like crap so while i was driving i turned around to grab my backstreet boys beanie.. haha... i put it around and looked in my rearview mirror... not even 30 ft from autumns house i was pulled over... by a fucking cop. AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
i was supposedly going 60 in a 45... :[.. fuck. fuck. fuck. man. i dont know if im gonna be able to keep my license. this sucks. and i havent even gotten my permanent license.. they can take it away.. FUCK FUCK FUCK. this sucks so much... $115 pLUS insurance for my ''sports car.''
i went to autumns house.. she made me feel alot better. hehe.. we were laying on her couch for 2 hours watching m2 and talking. shes great. so i jessica. i cant choose... i like autumn alot better. but. i feel sorry for jessica. i dont know. my arms started to get welts on them because i was nervous about the cop thing. after the 2 hours of bliss i had to go home because of my gay cerfiew of 6. damnit.
and if thats not enough to make me shoot myslef in my face... last night my mom pissed me off to the point where i confessed everything. i told her about my sex, drugs, and everything... all she said was.. be carful and keep your grades up.. then she started telling me how my friends are losers...
LOL kodi just called me and told me he got in a wreck.. hahahahaa... his car is totaled.. that is so wierd... we both got fucked today... in the same place... he wrecked where i got pulled over.
current mood:  nauseated
current music: Melon Farmer - Helicopter Farm
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(comment on this)
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Monday, August 13th, 2001
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8:43 pm
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t0ky0c0rn: do yo hw?
ideal ego: what hw
t0ky0c0rn: i don't know
t0ky0c0rn: just checkin if we got hw
t0ky0c0rn: but for some reason... i think i'm checkin w/ the wrong person
t0ky0c0rn: ...
hhahahaha... that was so cool. im happy.
current mood: haha
current music: The Faint - As the Doctor Talks
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(comment on this)
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12:24 am
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i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked. i am so fucked. im am so fucked.
im sad now.
current mood:  scared
current music: nothing
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(3 comments |comment on this)
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Wednesday, August 8th, 2001
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11:48 pm
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i hope my new girlfriend is going to be the one. the one i truly feel in love with.. ha.. i want her to.. be there. ive never really had that. where i could go to her for anything. i want to feel loved. shes so pretty. shes like 1 and a half feet shorter than me... wich is good... and she wears a size 1 and a half wich is also good because im so friggin skinny.. were preportional. :D... people have told me sooooo much about her... and i dunno.. what ive gotten to know about her... she seems to have had the same problems ive had. and i want to help her. shes sad. shes perfect. shes got like 1 " hair its so cute.. like blondish orangish like... not a unnatural orange its real pretty i dunno... i hope she likes me enough... i dont know... whatever. bye
current mood: hopeing
current music: bright eyes
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(comment on this)
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11:35 pm
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11:14 pm
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i got a new girlfriend ill talk about her tomarrow.. i dont have time...
im on drugs... they make me have more feelings... like... sad happy etc...
josh was telling me his life story.. and ive never got a chance to listen to him. or gave him a chance. im so sad. i was on the phone and he made me cry... because im on drugs but still... my mom had her camera and took pictures of me because i looked cute.. uh.. whatever.... im going ot go listen to bright eyes and sleep... while i still got these drugs in me. oh yea heres the pics
ideal ego: http://www.geocities.com/shakingfit/P1010009.tif
ideal ego: http://www.geocities.com/shakingfit/P1010010.tif
current mood: im sad about josh
current music: faint - ballad of a paralyzed citizen
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(comment on this)
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Monday, August 6th, 2001
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11:26 pm
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school is tomarrow i dont want to go back at all... my friends... hah... i could care less. i see most of them during the summer. > school is no fun < i guess it is. i dont know. i just want to go somewherererere... this summer sucked.
i havent read any of the books i was supposed to ... or did any reports. haha.
im screwed.
current mood:  gloomy
current music: Penfold - breathing lessons
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(2 comments |comment on this)
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Sunday, August 5th, 2001
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1:58 am
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im racist
two different black people made fun of me because i was skinny today at work... the second one grabbed me and started messing with my arms and saying what do you weigh 70 lbs? and then the police officer told him to get his hands off..it made me sad
but i just laughed.. because im a loser.
i got my stuff in from saddle-creek.com today.. its so cool.. they wrote me a letter and gave me carsticksers for my fav bands for free.. :D
current mood: racist
current music: the faint live video on realplayer - call call
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(1 comment |comment on this)
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Saturday, August 4th, 2001
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12:50 am
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hrm. i just got off work.. of course... um. today i had a little fun.rush hour 2 came out and we had 11,000 people... a record... hrm. i had to deal with drunks that just got out of jillians and one retarded/drunk with children... i think she was both. it was real wierd and she wouldnt leave me alone... she was like... i have a computer at home but im not used to signing this after using my credit card.... uh... and then she was asking me if they would let her in the movie after she payed for her ticket........ um.. of course? the people in the line were givin her funny looks... hah.. so was i. at one point i had to turn around because i was about to burst out laughing... its mean.. but... i dont.. really. i dont care.
after i got off work at 12 i saw this girl driving a camero... and i dunno i just had this wierd thing that took over me.. i followed her.. hehe... i was trying to scare her... at first it was like she was going to my house the right route.. but then she got a little off my course but i could still get home.. so i followed her for 15 min.. and then she started speeding up.. it was funny... people do it to me... haha.. dont some murders start out as ''playing around?'' 70
my parents are going home tomarrow... home as in chesapeke.. MD/VA... so im home alone for the weekend... im gonna have a teency weency party thing.... its probly going to end up being a nightmare i dontcare.. buaahaha... school starts teusday. :`[ .. 115
115
oh yea i got my paycheck yesterday and in the newsletter thing they have i was voted #2 most attractive in the guys section... out of 62 people... well... half females... PLUS i just started working so i havent met everyone yet... so they might have not voted for moi. :] what a self esteem booster.. arg. now, why do i not have a signigicant Other.??
band practice is tomarrow... everone is happy again... i hope it stays that way. um... oh yea check out my band website.... im working on it... um.. it on the margins of my journal thing.. ''fall''
nite nite friendly friends
current mood:  content
current music: Sckapegoat - Sckapegoat
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(3 comments |comment on this)
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Monday, July 30th, 2001
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12:38 am
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where is my self-esteem-jean?
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Sunday, July 29th, 2001
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10:19 pm
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i just finished watching 'the milliondollar hotel'' it was a great movie... i wish i could find an eloise... heh...that movie made me friggin sad.
current mood: requiring
current music: saves the day - i'm sorry i'm leaving
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(comment on this)
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7:43 pm - neat
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um i got home and yea im home.. and yea... im home...
i ate dinner ben called and wanted to do something till the wee hours in the morning but i dont feel like going to bed at 4... i need some sleep so like a loser i said no... so here i am... i took some melatonin pills to make me fall asleep and im drinking green tea stuff to help also. errr.... oh yea i made a cool new song on my geetar and um.. yea i dont have lyrics yet... my brother bought some incense and it smells like hotdogs.. yucko... bye
->
current mood: chipper
current music: Penfold - I'll Take You Everywhere
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(comment on this)
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1:17 am
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hey this is the first day in a LONG time that i have written.. er typed in my journal for 2 days consistently... or somethin... i woke up at around 1pm to the doorbell ringing... haha so i got up in my boxers with a teensy weency erection in my pants and opened the door... luckily it was just kodi... i dunno what he was saying but it sounded neat we started talking about the band and how were going to play at tremont at the end of the month in august... er something and then he left to go to bitches house.. (teddys) um yea... then i went to the jiffy lube Xpress to get my oil changed... and my dad went with me because he wanted to pay for my shite and um... he was listening to cursive and tool in the car and he said he liked them haha.. then i put system of a down in.. buahhahaa.... um then i went to work at 6 and we did 10,000 people today again... and jason my manager was bitching at me all night and i wanted to tear his teensy testies right off their pole... ugh he pissed me off... um i ate at burger king and then got off work at like 1130 and went to stake and shake with david and some chikka that works with me... um... i diddnt know her name and it offended her... uh... yea i had a lame day.. not much to read eh?... heh... whatever. when is everyone gonna get back from whatever they are doing and start posting in their journals again!!! im off to play my geeTar. :D arg
*
current mood:  tired
current music: The Smashing Pumpkins - X. Y. U.
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(comment on this)
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Saturday, July 28th, 2001
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12:03 am - ouchie
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i just got off work... my legs hurt.. i worked 12 hours today. um i now work at the theatre... ahem... gay... but hey its money... and everyone has the steriyyieyoetipe that the theatre is full of dork-Os but.. our theatre.. is full of dorkos... and me. :D.. no really tho.. our theatre is like a big one 24 so like theres a bazillion people there and they are allll cool.. not to many dorks... and theres this kickass guy named tripp whos going to introduce me to skcapegoat this local band... and we should.. he says. be able to open for them.. we i mean ahrealia... at tremont.
anyways... my legs hurt... im listening to system of a downs new cd... um i think its called toxicity.. its not as good as the first one... and im making a pizza... woO! im such a loser now.. ineed to get a life... heres what i do currently...
get up at 12pm - 2pm
eat (very little)
sometimes go to band practice
sit aroud till its time to go to work...
goto work
work
go home at 12
watch tv
sleep in insomnia till 4 am
repeat
the best part of my day is driving to work.. i love the 15 min trip where i get to listen to my cds...
i really need to find something to do... i sound like a loser..... im not.. i dont think.. maybe i am.. i have friends.. but they are all doing something... like are far away... or working.. or mad at me.. or yea... im lonely.
current mood: sore
current music: System of a Down - Shimmy
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(3 comments |comment on this)
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Sunday, July 22nd, 2001
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4:07 pm - little update... arg.
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i bought my tires... yay!
uh. i went to work yay!
i got home at 12:30am and got a phone call.... er
kodi kicked me out of the band... uh.... for unknown reasons... and this pissed everyone else off so much that they all quit and formed a new band with me in it... i dunno... this is fucked up...
and i think i lost a friend.. and i dont even know why.
current mood: confused
current music: Further Seems Forever - Justice Prevails
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(comment on this)
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Friday, July 20th, 2001
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8:45 pm - funny how things turn out
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today my parents canceled my insurance that covers me causing wrecks... er whatever its called...
today my tire exploded on the highway and i bent my rim in two...
tomarrow i have to pay for new tires and a rim...
god damnit
current mood: aggravated
current music: smashing pumpkins - X . Y . U .
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(1 comment |comment on this)
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Friday, July 16th, 1999
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11:11 pm
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why isnt anyone else updating their journals anymore!!!!!... besides you caitlin. arg.
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(comment on this)
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