[	mood	|	dirty	]
[	music	|	Thievery Corporation mix of Rocker's Hi-Fi - Transmission Central	]

A.  I skipped class unnecessarily today.  I didn't do anything good.  I sat around in my pjs.  I talked to my dad.  My dad is awesome.

B.  I'm switching bathrooms.  We have two bathrooms here.  One, three of us have been using.  Hence - bathroom = disgusting.  I'm going to change to the other bathroom, but I thought it'd be best if we put this new shower head in. 

Did you know there was something called plumber's tape? (or is it plumbers' tape? hmm)  Anyway, it's not really tape at all, more like thin plasticlike tape shaped material that doesn't stick.  You wrap it around and around the threads before you screw on the shower head and, ideally, it prevents water from spraying everywhere.

Apparently, I did not apply it correctly.  It was humorous, but a little unpleasant.  I like knowing what I'm doing.  I didn't.  It seemed simple, but it wasn't. 

C.  I purchased a square bottle of water.  Did you know that humans cannot taste water?  We can taste the impurities in water, but not the water itself.  But dogs (and other animals, I think too) can actually taste water.  Lucky dogs.

D.  Over the weekend I watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.  Interesting.  I know, I'm behind the curve watching it this weekend, but I did.  I liked it.  Not sure if I think it's worth all the hype, but I hardly feel like anything is worth all the hype. 

E.  Got my hair cut.  I like it short.  I keep getting told, by guys, that it's somewhat unfeminine, but... I don't know - I think my breasts sort of give me away.  I don't know -- what do you think?  Will probably do something colorwise.  More white in it to report as usual.  But no wrinkles in my face yet.  I'll keep you posted.

F.  Need to figure out how to fit in exersize again.  I'm suddenly concious of my largeness.  I think it's that there are new boys in my life (well, work, not so much, but kind of) and school and I feel... I don't know, oddly big.  Unconfortable in my skin.  Not really an exercise thing exactly, but... more of a Linsey needs to feel balanced with her body and healthy again... in my skin, not passing through.

G.  I feel like I'm always in passing in general too.  I don't feel like I'm anywhere, just someplace in between.  Grasping but not holding.  Where did I go?  I don't remember.  I took the bus.  It made me kind of sick.  Please drive through.

H.  Oh, yes.  Financial aid/student loans continue to be the bother of my existence.  I keep having to penny pinch because I haven't deffered my now-due loans and I don't have a loan for school-now done yet.  It feels unpleasant, but ideally will be fixed soon.

I.  Got a review at work today.  Generally positive.  None of the typical "you're good at your job, but you suck and you should do better" more of a "you're doing good, you might want to do this cause it would probably help, and we're giving you a raise in March."

RAISE IN MARCH, YOU SAY?

Not a huge one, but wow.  A raise.  Niiiice.

J.  I realized recently I hadn't been listening to music and was generally in a dour mood.  I have been boogying privately of late and it has been helpful moodwise.

K.  I should do my reading now that I have procrastinated quite thoroughly.

[

mood

|

cranky

]

Examples as follows:

A.  Linsey was playing a fun/silly school game.  Somehow kneeling was involved.  Somehow Linsey forgot how to kneel properly and has been limping because her woosy right thigh muscle is very pissed off at her.  How did Linsey forget how to kneel?  Linsey does not know.

B.  After *way* too much time, Linsey's father finally finished doing her *FREAKIN'* taxes so she could finish her FAFSA.  Linsey's father has a box full of crap that Linsey probably needed (i.e. pay stubs, letters from school, bills, etc.) that he, apparently, has been collecting in a Dad-pack-rat-unorganized-and-completely-confused way for quite awhile.  This pisses Linsey off to know end because it's her stuff.  Linsey likes to get her own mail/paystubs/etc.  This way, she knows where it is.... scratch that - This way she knows WHERE THE HELL it is.

C.  Her hair has gotten out of hand.  She asked her brother about the clippers.  Perhaps she'll have shorter-than-before-self-haircut soon.

D.  Okay, so things are not terrible for Linsey, but they are a tad on the frustrating side.

E.  Grrr.

[

mood

|

cheerful

]

Woo.

So here's the wrap up of recent events:

- So, financial aid/student loan stuff is still not done. 

- Had my period.  Oy.  Cramps are not my friends.  They are mean bitches that live in my abdomen periodically (pun intended).

- Started classes.  They changed one of the class times a messed up my work schedule.

- I am one of two people out of thirty that I'm aware of are actually working during school.  That makes it sound like this program is going to kick my ass.

- I cannot side jump in Tony Hawk's Underground 2.  I don't know why.  It's pissing me off though.

- School this time around seems a ton easier.  I'm sure that that will change, but honestly, it is easier to read things in English.  I typically do not need a dictionary.

- I sat next to a beautiful specimen of a man.  Cal.  Tall, light brown hair, dark brown eyes, broad, cute cute cute, into surfing and adventureous stuff.  Thought I might kiss him at coffee the first day of class.  Then asked him about a finger injury (a nasty looking smashed fingernail) and found out about his wife's attempt to help with that.  DAMN!

- Hung out with Vincent.  Bad idea.  Taking him home and apparently taking a wrong turn he decided to jump out of the car during heavy traffic.  And then he im'd me a message about my being a stubborn bitch.  Damn straight, jerkoff.  Suffice it to say, there will be no more second chances for Mr. Traffic Jam.

- My mom got me this facial cleaner aid thingy for Christmas.  It doesn't really work, but it has a feature where you're supposed to be able to, basically, suck the zits out of your face.  If I had a roommate they would have zit-sucked shaped hickies all over their faces and would want to sock me in the eye.  Hillarious!

- Gracie has an ear infection, no fun.

- I watched the director's extended cut of Cinema Paradiso and it was... well, too long.  I liked the beginning of the film but toward the end I was thinking, "If I were the editor on this film, I would have cut out this and this and this," because it was just too much.  I suppose I might have liked the theatrical release better.  Alas.

- There should be something else.  Ah - yes, I remember now.  On New Year'ss Eve I returned a video game to Hollywood Video.  Mike of Hollywood Video was there.  I'm such a goober, but I honestly stand there, chit-chat with him a little and then walk out the door muttering, "Yes, such-in-such movie was fabulous.  I love you.  Would you like to have babies with me?  Come now, we'll run away together to... some tropical locale where we can stroll along the beach and you can finally take off that silly purple shirt."  How someone doesn't hear me muttering to myself these crazy things, I do not know, but alas... alas.

- I think I have to make a payment on my student loan.  Remind me later or I might forget.

- As usual, I love you - you are fantastic.  Would you like to have babies with me?

[

mood

|

good

]

All righty... you should look at my poll and vote. Please?

Thank you. Come again.

Poll #409936 Need a Change Hair Issues
Open to: All, results viewable to: All

What should I do with my hair?

[

mood

|

optimistic

]

I am *getting* my SHIT together.

Can you flippin' believe it?

Well, it sort of feels like that. 

I have neglected gym visits and have consumed far too many cookies of late. 

I've been spending approximately an hour and a half a day more at work which will lead to a fatter paycheck.  It also means that I'm getting crap done.  Also, I have screwed up a couple times *but* Carol has not reamed me, I think because of the hour and a half. 

There is money in both savings and checking.  At the same time.

I need a haircut desperately... but I am afraid that my head will freeze what with winter fast approaching.  Still.  I should get it cut.

I need to do "classroom observation" at a high school - my admission is contingent upon it.  I called my old high school to ask about it.  I said something about having gone there eons ago.  Ms Principal's Secretary was not overly impressed I guess.

Got a call from a resume that I put up a long time ago and never seemed to garner a response when I needed it to during unemployed time during the summer.  Told the lady I have a job but that my mom might be kickass for it.  We'll see.

Need to be social.  I notice that what happens is I don't actually speak aloud to non-family or non-work-related folks often.  I like to speak aloud to people in addition to regular life folks.  I should do that.

Talked online to a consolidation counselor.  Made a joke that got a "ha ha" response.  That seemed all around weird.  Typing my actual name into a chatroom firstly, secondly, have a typical friendly chatroom exchange and thirdly, feeling like the credit counselor would turn into a typical internet perv at somepoint and ask my a/s/l and measurements but not having him do that.  Good all-in-all.

Updated FAFSA stuff.  Damn, I hope it processes quickly or checking and savings will not have funds in them.

Oh, downloaded Zinf which is pretty cool.  If you did a phone post in the past tell me cause I want to go back and listen to you!!  Please, please!!  Thank you!

[

mood

|

melancholy

]

Bad things... bad things... bad things...

1.  Had a screaming match with my mom last night about respect.

2.  Carol, the other loan processor, gave me attitude about leaving without finishing filling in invoices.  I didn't have time, I'm only part time, *and* when I went into her office to tell her that I was leaving she was writing was looked to be a personal email rather than being "buried in work" as she kept saying today.

3.  Got a "your student loan is due for it's first payment in January" notice.

4.  Just wrote an email to the folks at Pacific who interviewed me about why I didn't get in.  It when like this;

Dear Ms S & Mr. B,

I am writing to inquire about admission to your program.  I did not hear from you during the period of time that you indicated which leads to believe that I was not admitted. 

My understanding from the interview was that the volunteer work I have been involved in was not sufficient because it was not in a classroom environment and that I also needed to complete the MSAT testing.  Are there any additional areas where I might improve should I apply to one of your MAT programs again?  Where do you think I need the most improvement?  Were there any qualities you found in me that were well suited to teaching?  If so, what are those qualities? 

Thank you for your time and input.

Sincerely,
Linsey

[

mood

|

cheerful

]

Turkey Day events:

1.  My mom, dad, older brother, and myself all headed to my mom's 30+ year friend Sandy's house.  Sandy's eldest son Jake is married to Michelle and has a sweet big-eared 3 or 4 month old baby boy named Jacob. 

2.  Sandy's younger son, Johnathan kind of acted like he didn't know what to do with me, but really wanted to talk to me.  Ha ha - I have to say that that felt like being the pretty girl that the nerdy boy trips all over.  He's an engineer who lives in a suburb of Seattle.  Extreme example of his nerdiness: He bought a donkey instead of a car when he was in high school. 

Anyway, overall, super fun, good food, and nice to get to see family friends that I'd not seen in quite awhile.

Then on Friday we had my eldest brother, Micah, my neice, Vanessa, and sister-in-law Jess along with Jess's friend Becca and her son Kenyon.  I played with Kenyon, who is four - we colored and he got to meet George and Gracie who licked him thoroughly and at the end he said he didn't want to go, which is always a compliment when you're hanging out with a kid.  Nessa did a lot of looking around and a little fussing.  She loves to watch Kenyon playing.  My uncle Gene was even there.

So, there's that.

And then for future plans, I'm going to hang out with V tomorrow.  I don't know.  We'll see.  Steverino said that it sounded good, but I don't know.  Meh.

All in all good - so, HAPPY TURKEY DAY!  I hope yours was kickass.

Oh, and don't watch "I'll Sleep When I'm Dead".  Clive Owen, Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, and Malcolm McDowell's talent was all wasted in this movie.  It's a terrible terrible movie - and I don't mean arty.  I don't mean overly thoughtful, I mean you watch and watch waiting for some action to be taken and it isn't until the very very end and the action is moot by that time.  HORRIBLE!

[	mood	|	sleepy	]
[	music	|	Zion by Fluke	]

Started excersizing at the gym.

Had a calf cramp for two days.

Got a cheapy mp3 player that's kind of nifty.

Worked Saturday.

Ran into Kelly, my friend from high school/now favorite waitress for Chinese food.  Should call her.

Been told I should marry V by V.  Think V is crazy, but am semi-complimented.  Would be more complimented if I didn't know it's probably just V's lame attempt to get into my pants.

Should be sleeping right now.

Think I will.

Love you.

[	mood	|	contemplative	]
[	music	|	The Simpsons	]

I don't think I got into Pacific.

I feel a little sad about that.  Mostly apathetic, however.

I do not know what to do with the rest of my life now.

Come up with something, suggest, we'll discuss.

Thank you.  Please, drive through.

[

mood

|

jubilant

]

Okay... update on stuff;

1.  I joined a gym.
I haven't actually gone, but I'm hoping to tomorrow.  The funny thing is that I've been considering it for quite awhile and when my mom called to inquire for me a month ago or so they said joining was a hundred bucks but when I joined on Friday the feel was twenty five.  What the heck?  So, ya, nice to save some money but it just made me wonder about the business of a gym - wow, big investment, but if you can't get members, man, you make bank.  I'm hoping that I'll end up less spherically shaped with kickass Angela Bassett arms.

2.  I haven't heard from P.U.
I'm still having this unconcerned feeling about the whole thing.

3.  I baked yet again.
I think I have conquered my fear of the oven.  I baked brownies for a ladies group with my church.  I love the ladies group.  I am the youngest lady, but it's my first "grown-up" church group situation.  The nice thing is that the discussions we have related us all - which is nice - and even though we're a varied group, I don't get an impression of anybody wanting to be dominant.  Legalism is not your friend nor is it mine, so this is nice.

4.  I'm looking for a reasonably priced jogging MP3 player.
I don't know if I want to spend what it seems to cost to purchase one, but you know.  I want to bring my own tunes and not have to lug around my cd player.  We'll see.  I'm kind of cheap.  I don't want to pour too much into it.  Give me some suggestions if you have them.

5.  I am tired of politics.
I realize that not everybody is happy about the election and everything.  I left a comment that got me flack for responding on this entry at eugenecommunity.  I should have kept my big yap shut, but whatever, I didn't.  Everybody does realize that either side could win, right?  Everybody does realize that our voting system is kind of a majority rules methodology (granted, it doesn't work that way - but you know, it's sort of majority-rules-ish)... but please, politics will not save the world! 

Donating food to a food bank, lending an ear, dancing, loving, GIVING to each other is how the world changes.  I don't know George W. or John Kerry - but I do know that I can afford to scan a dollar donation to Food For Lane County when I buy something at the groccery store or whatever!

6.  I had something way cooler to say than that I hate politics thing, but I forgot it for the brief rant.
I'm sorry, 6 would have been way cooler if I'd just skipped 5.  Next time.

[

mood

|

quixotic

]

I know nobody wants to read this right now - politics and all - but I feel the need to expell it.

I don't think the interview went well.

I walked in, shook hands, smiled, hoped I didn't have lipstick on my teeth, wore a fuzzy sweater and worried that it was too fuzzy, not fuzzy enough, hoped I hadn't smeared eyeliner across my temple, hoped I didn't burst into tears or do that crazy, creepy nervous laugh too much.

And then I was told that four years working with a church youth group didn't count as "volunteer work" primarily because, from what I glenned was that church kids are good kids and thus, it's not a "real" view of the age group.  Gee, thanks.  I appreciate that you don't think four years of my spare time, countless hours spent discussing lots of life things with the clearly human (and like all other kids) normal church kids, getting yelled at but frustrated teens at summer camp, organizing games, etc. doesn't count because of your preconceived notions of what a youth group is and who goes to it.

After that I got a, "What do you think about the hub-bub over including 'sexual orientation' in a diversity zone declaration at Springfield schools?" and answered, I think appropriately, that it can be included because it's a pledge to not harrass your peers for their chosen or predetermined or what may be orientation, and unless teachers are playing the dating game - which is wholly inappropriate - teachers shouldn't be involved remotely in the sexuality of their students.

I think if either of those two things had occured singularly, I wouldn't have thought much of it, but it definitely seemed like they were feeling me out for my opinions on homosexuality.  Isn't that silly?  I answered honestly - and I'm sure all my other answers were reasonably well.

At the end I had to write an essay about an educational experience and described the experience of a tough biology class and a little moment when the information counted - it was probably too informal, but I thought it was funny.  Talked to a nice girl named Gretchen who works at a restaurant my friend Anne loves to go to.

Went to lunch with my mom and talked about lots of things.  If I have a baby with a woman and I die my mom won't try to cut her out of our baby's life, i.e. she was stay grandma and the woman would stay mom.  She said it would be an odd situation but she would choose to love her even if she didn't approve.  Sometimes you hear that out of people and then they prove themselves completely wrong soon after, but when I hear my mom say it, I put a lot more stock in it than anyone else I've heard that from.

She said if I don't get into this graduate program or the one at UO that I should look into working for a publishing company.  She said I would make a good editor and that if this isn't my path that maybe that is.

It's odd - the interview didn't feel like it went especially well but now that it's done, the uncertainty doesn't feel bad.

I'm surprised.

[	mood	|	scared	]
[	music	|	You And I Both -- Jason Mraz	]

I am not concerned about the election.

I know I suck for not being concerned about the election.  I did vote (by mail - killer system, no lines, and from what I've read, an easier check system for fraud).  I think it's important to vote.  I got pissed at a friend, in fact, who refused to vote - holier-than-thou asshole - because he didn't like either Kerry or Bush.  I was like, "You do realize you have other options and there are other things to vote on aside from the presidency.  If you bitch about it it's like a swimming contest where you're giving two major strokes - freestyle or butterfly - but there are others and when you don't vote you're like the jackass screaming from the stands about the style of the swimmers when he's note even in the race."  Pissed me off.  Don't bitch at me about voting when you didn't even vote, jerk.

Not concerned because I am selfishly thinking about this graduate school interview tomorrow. 

I think I might throw up.

What happens to my life if this doesn't work?  What happens to all those little plans that I've had?

Do I become somebody else?

A glorified filing clerk forever? 

Does Carol get to knit-pick me for the rest of known time?

What happens if this doesn't?

What then?

I am freaked out.

[	mood	|	silly	]
[	music	|	You and I Both -- Jason Mraz	]

I got Netflix recently and I really like it.  I miss the cute boy from the video store.  But... this is cheaper.

So far of what I've gotten, here are my feelings;

Love Me If You Dare, 2003
I'm not sure exactly.  It was creative and symbolic and beautiful.  I think I had issues with some plot things.  Overall, kind of magic - not as kickass as Amelie, but elements of that kind of magic in it. 

Princess Mononoke, 1997
Beautiful and strange.  Very ecological which was in the extras with the celebrity voices - they were all environmental about it, but really... I got the impression that it was covering lots of things while having that same weirdness naturally present in anime.  Oddly, this was a movie that Daniel was supposed to go see one night when he ended up kissing me... a lot... in my living room.  Man, I miss kissing Daniel.  Or anybody for that matter.  Kissing is good.  Not a lot of it in the movie.  Moving on.

The School of Rock, 2003
I loved this movie.  It makes me want to learn to play every instrumental possible. 

Van Helsing, 2004
Cheesier than expected.  Not bad... but... not excellent.  Hugh Jackman is a sexy guy.  But since seeing this and hearing my brother say, "He's got the perfect name for porn," I think of that too.  Damnit. 

Envy, 2004
I liked it but everybody I know who's seen it thought it was horrible.  I think the merry-go-round part just made me laugh super hard, i couldn't help it.  I don't know - not great, but funny in parts.  Mostly Jack Black parts, not so much Ben Stiller parts. 

Ella Enchanted, 2004
Very cute.  If I were a little girl, I would be pretending that I was Ella.  Sweet and entertaining.

Oh, and this thing about mouth bacteria should frighten you into brushing and flossing right away.  Eeeww.  Oh, and you can also disinfect your toothbrush with hydrogen peroxide.

You should go on and make a mountain out of air.

[

mood

|

amused

]

Thank you to everybody who commented - you're awesome even if you didn't but your awesomeness is diminished if you just read it and said, "cool," whereas your awesomeness grew to giant-awesomeness if you actually commented.

That being said... apparently I didn't post with a calendar handy.

It's not Wednesday tomorrow - it's Wednesday a week from tomorrow.

Oops!

Anyhoo... yay - anyway!!

So, I have some big news... and you better freakin' comment, damnit!

I got a call from the graduate program folks yesterday!! 

They want to interview me on Wednesday!!!

!!!

So apparently, my minimumalist qualifications are good enough to get my foot in the door.  I don't know if getting interviewed means a better shot or if they just basically interview everybody *BUT* I'm not going to be downed by that if that's true. 

Pretty much, at this point, I'm secure - I have a job, I have a home, waiting longer to start with schooling would suck, but it would not kill me.  That's the nice thing about this entry is that my independence is confirmed.  If this path that I'm set on right now does not work, I'm okay with that.  There are other paths.  I am a fluid being.  As much as I dislike change, I know that change is inevitable.  I know that things are not what we choose most of the time but rather part of an intricate other working through us, around us, in us, and on us... so, even if you don't agree with that, I'm just going to say that that's the way I'm going to deal if things don't turn out the way I want them to.

Other stuff... work is good.  I can barely believe I'm saying that, but yes - yes, it is true.  Work is good.  It's nice to be surrounded by nice people, who work hard, and even if you're their assistant and they make things super complex sometimes, there are lights. 

( Example )

So, pretty much.  Yes. 

And if you happen to comment on this new news... you should go back and do the quiz thing from the previous entry because bentastic did and although he was meaner than I was in his answers, he answered at least.