( Its pictoral... )

I'll expound more, later. For now, I just wanna get these up.
Gonna watch the Mummy Returns w/Bryan, then phone calls.

Mood: busy

So yesterday, Keri and I went to a cafe to study. Since I still don't know what to study, I brought my one book about the middle east that I brought with me to France. We had two cappucchinos each, then wine. We did study quite a bit. And then we talked about all sorts of things--society, poetry, litterature, very little politics. And of course, the wine. The sun fell, and eventually Craig and Farouk showed up (separately).

Craig is a brit we met at Cezanne a while ago--over a debate about Shakespeare (whom he adores, of course, he must, and whom Keri and I find not as adorable)--and Farouk is an Algerian who we'd not met before. Of course, they joined us and I showed Craig my lovely volume. I forget what we talked about then, I think it was language acquisition, but it was mostly in French. Then Keri ran off, abandoning me despite my protests. I found out later one of the waiters had tried to kiss her--this is an ongoing saga which is not entirely mine to share, so I won't. I stayed and chatted it up with Craig and Farouk, when Lucette arrived. She was only there for a short while, she and Craig were associates, I'd not met her before. Craig bellyached some more about an incident at IPN which I don't recall but apologized for profusely, anyway.

Craig went to the bathroom, contemplating strongly leaving for the night, when Farouk started in with the "je t'aime," "je t'adore," "tu est belle, mon amour" ("I like you," "I love you," "you're beautiful, my love"). Craig returned and Lucette left. Craig got up to get us another round and Farouk reached over the table and touched my face and hair with his sweaty hand, I pulled away. Ack! I guess Algeria is too close to Morocco... When he returned to the table, Craig said he would leave after that round, I begged him to stay explaining Farouk's unwanted attentions and the fact that I was otherwise enjoying the cafe. Farouk made a kissing noise with his lips at me from across the table and Craig agreed to stay. Farouk reached over the table again to feel my hair--which I was wearing down--where it lay over my tee-shirted breast. He missed the hair.

In French, since that was our common language, I explained that I wasn't interested, that I "had another" (lies are acceptable in these cases...), that I was very sorry but his attentions were wasted and wouldn't get him anywhere, least of all places into my bed. Eventually he left. Craig lingered and we chatted more. Had more wine for me and beer for him. When it came time to leave, I offered to keep him company on his walk home since I was wanting considerable fresh air and to stretch my legs, he accepted. I did not go into his appartment, but saw him to it then walked myself to my apartment. Still not knowing why Keri'd left so suddenly and so rudely, I tried to wake her for some house pasta and to chat a little. She was very reluctant and that pissed the hell out of me. So I made pasta for myself, checked my e-mail, posted to LJ, and then went to bed.

Mood: blah
Music: Dido - Don't leave home

Where am I whenever my roommates want/need me? Wherever they want/need me. Where are my roommates whenever I want/need them? Sleeping and reluctant to leave it.

So fuck me roommates. I've got myself. Its all I've needed. All I need. All I'll ever need. And I'll be fucking damned if I ever need, or want, anything other than myself.

Fuck the world. Y'all suck, anyway. I'd sooner trust a dead and rotting elephant than my own species.

In vino veritas.

Plus, I let Keri use the last of my minutes to call her stupid bf in Marseille, so I can't txt ANYONE, not even Mark (monkeyspankmj), so I don't know when or if I can call him and I was looking forward to it all week long. The entire, relentless, terrible, week. :-[

Mood: drunk
Music: DJ Sammy - The Boys of Summer; Kodo Japanese Drummers - Taik

Bah... I don't want to think about my missing notes. I certainly don't want to think about what I'll have to do to get them back if they're not at the Aix objets trouvees.

There was something else. Or some series of something else's. Which I am forgetting.

The lights on Cours Mirabeau were finally turned on. The trees at la rotunde de sainte jeanne d'arc are purple. Purple. :-)

Mood: calm

I'm exhausted. Ended up wandering around centre ville for about an hour/hour-and-a-half. Got some chinese-esque takeout and it wasn't too terrible. No sweet and sour, here. And no orange chicken. Also no muushuu... no beef and broccoli... on the Japanese side, no miso to be ordered unless its part of the 23Euro menu... miso is so soothing. :'(

I'm still upset about all of this semester's work lost. I had invested so much in it, already... I know I shouldn't dwell, but... but... Its just terrible. On principle; and now I'm going to have to replace that shit. So much can't be replaced. So much is going to take so much hard work all over again--only harder work, and done faster, and better. I don't look foreward to that prospect at all. I'll forget things, important things... And I can't wait around for it to show up for long, there are things I need to be doing.

I'mna try to sleep, now. Its pathetic to be so depressed over a bunch of geeky academic paperwork, but I am.

Mood: tired

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Today has been one very long roller-coaster, which included the following events, including the new Binary Smiley Scale:

• couldn't sleep until almost 2A, alarm set for 6:30 :-(
• used time not spent sleeping to study some Japanese :-)
• woke up when I wanted to and got studying done! :-)
• actually got positive feedback in my Techniques of Writing class! :-)
• test in French Foreign politics announced for next week :-(
• learned about form of French slang used in the Arab quarters of the Paris ghettos :-)
• it was a really and truly beautiful day, today :-)
• got snagged into helping a friend move a new stove into her apartment--on the fourth floor of a 300-year-old building, you can imagine there were no building codes regarding stairs... :-(
• enlisted the help of others, so I didn't actually have to do any labor, just logistical support :-)
• ALL OF MY NOTES, MY HANDOUTS, MY CALENDAR, MY PENS (for the love of GOD!!!), THREE OF KERI'S DVDs (I was going to return them to her for the friend), MY TO-DO LIST, MY FRENCH-ENGLISH DICTIONARY WERE STOLEN while I was "helping" :'(
• my petition for an advance on my Spring money was approved :-)
• got the director of my program to come over to help translate technical support--ADSL works! :-)
• ...still not on Shiawaseda, cuz French software blows :-(
• checked acueilles of both the institute and the political science fac for my bag, it was not in either office :-(

I'm especially irked and vexed about my bag. Vital things--wallet, keys--weren't in it, but ALL MY WORK FOR THIS WHOLE SEMESTER was. The more I think about it, the more pissed off it makes me. Sure, in the US classmates will steal your PDA, CD player, and textbooks just as well as look at you, but not your notes. Notes that don't matter to anyone but you. I have been working hard to be successful, here. I worked for those notes. I need those handouts. AND I WANT MY GODDAMNED PENS!!! I had it all worked out just the way I wanted, just the way I liked it. And now I feel very hostile towards all of France. And I hate feeling hostile, b/c its a futile, wasteful emotion and I could be using my energy better. I just got into the habit of making structured time to study, to work harder at this, I was liking it and starting to notice results, and now its all fucked up. Its so frustrating and I have no recourse. I don't want to have to buy my binder again, I don't want to have to get completely reorganized again, I don't want to have to hound my profs for all the handouts we've gotten already. I don't want to, and I shouldn't have to, and there are MORE IMPORTANT things I need to spend my time and energy (and money!) on, but now I have to do all of this all over again and I ALREADY DID IT.

...at least my passport wasn't in it. I was going to pick up my permanent carte de sejour (long-term visa), today, but forgot to put my passport in my bag.

So, yeah... I'm really hungry right now. I want chinese take-out, but that's a whole other world of complications and expenses and even after going through all the tribulations it won't be like the chinese take-out I'm craving. And that makes me sad. :'[

Mood: crappy
Music: none

Got my ass out of bed w/a very healthy amount of time, to allow for a little studying before my wretched 8A class. It makes the day seem indefatigable, but I also feel like I accomplish more and make better use of my time. At any rate. I had two thoughts today that I wanted to share, so here they are, under separate cuts for your viewing pleasure:

( PROGRESS OF LIFE )

( PROGRESS OF MAN )

Mood: pensive
Music: t.A.T.u; Queen; etc...

//snickers, chortles, and general hoots of laughter...

But, really! This is serious and not funny at all!!

And just a week too late, and in the wrong hemisphere:

You're Drunk...who You Gonna Call?
CANBERRA (Reuters) - An Australian phone company is offering customers the chance to blacklist numbers before heading out for a night on the town so they can reduce the risk of making any embarrassing, incoherent late-night calls.

A survey of 409 people by Virgin Mobile, a joint venture of The Virgin Group and Optus, found 95 percent made drunk calls.

Of those calls, 30 percent were to ex-partners, 19 percent to current partners, and 36 percent to other people, including their bosses.

The company also found that 55 percent of those polled would grab for their phone first the next morning to check who they had drunkenly dialed, compared with just eight percent who went for the headache pills first.

source

Mood: bad
Music: X Japan - The Last Song

Happy BIRTHDAY shinnasuka!!!

Today was eventful, busy, long; chock full of challenges, and I met them all. Which makes today exceedingly good. Let's have some more! Now I'mna check some e-mail and some news. I haven't been there as much as I'd like for some ppl. I'mna work on that.

P.S. I think tests today went okay, as well as the exposee.

NEED to write some letters tomorrow!

Mood: good
Music: Kate Ryan - Desenchantee

This is our bathroom before I fixed it. Craziness. Maybe I should take some pics of the apartment? I've been meaning to photograph Aix, but I'm always so bad about that... I feel very incoherent right now. Hungry and will gather foodstuff in a bit. Talking about the concept of life/death, differences btwn the two in Roman versus modern Western societies/cultures w/Bryan. Cool discussion (he's in the WC, now, so I'm taking the op to post).

Tonight is gonna suck. Guigui (Guillaume) and Maxence are coming over. Josefina will prolly be here as well. Plus I have a huge test in grammar tomorrow. Plus I have to give an exposee in my afternoon grammar class tomorrow. Busy, Busy. I also want to get this ADSL working, but I have to wait on the prog director to be available. I'll save that one for tomorrow. Or maybe Wednesday. Wednesday would be best for me.

Jesus H... is it already 12:30!?

Mood: lethargic
Music: none

One of my newest favorite poets: John Wilmot

( An Explicit Sample: Signior Dildo )

Mood: enthralled
Music: Nickleback - Figured You Out

Nevermind all that stuff earlier this morning about sucking at French. I'm actually doing better than I thought... Besides, I'm feeling well-adjusted, 'member? :-P

Wrote some more letters. But, really, I'm going to bed, now. Well, actually, in a few minutes. Just wanna check the headlines real quick...

Whatddaya know?

Mood: busy
Music: Blink182 - Adam's song

I'll be moving Shiawaseda from the hall where the functioning phone line is to my room, soon. Then munching some leftover pasta (got Alfredo sauce figured out :-D ), and hopefully getting some sleep.

G'night, all.

Music: Nickleback - Figured You Out

So ironic, this icon... At any rate.

I'm so terrile at French cuz I don't think I've improved at all since I got here. And I've been here three months, already. And my roommate, Keri, is better, and you can tell and she knows it. Bryan was practically fluent when he got here, so he doesn't count. Diego's Trilingual; there's nothing else to say about that. Josephina is dreaming in French somewhat regularly and I'm not dreaming in French any more than I did in the States--which is not too much. Everyone else is improving and I'm stagnant. Which makes me a "linguistic amoeba" as my polysci prof and MUN advisor Stateside would say.... What skill I have is not so dependable and it can be very frustrating. Just today Bryan's classmate came over to administer a homeopathic treatment for flu. She said I understood more than Bryan, but it took me ten minutes and three incorrect translations to understand "rhum" (rum)--granted she was speaking some strange combination of Spanish and French, but I should have got it sooner.

We don't speak so much French in the house cuz NONE of us, and I mean none of us, has the French vocaulary for the kinds of discussions we have--which are best described as socio-psychological metaphysical politics--nor the French nuance or finesse. I've become too much of a hermit; and although I always begin business outside of the house in French, I avoid beginning business. I don't talk to my classmates enough, and although I appreciate it, I don't much enjoy being criticized for my rythme when my pronounciation is fine. I know rhythme is important, but even when I volunteer to speak or read in class I just want to get it over with.

I'm trying, just not hard enough. And I have no real motivation to try harder, but I still hate being an illiterate moron. Plus, I don't know how to try harder at this. I read the news in French. Listen to French radio. Eavesdrop on French conversations around me. I pay attention in class. I do [most of] my homework. I take notes and review them--in French. If I can say something in French I try, even when I can't, I try, when talking w/Frenchies.

I just don't think I'm getting any closer to fluent. I know I won't be fluent by the end of this, but closer to fluency is always the goal and I don't see myself getting there or anywhere near it.

So what am I doing here, other than wasting time and money?

Music: Guns N' Roses - Sympathy For The Devil

I suxor a lot of rotting donkey arse at French.

That is all.

Oh, and everyone in the world is better at French than I am.

And that suxors an aweful lot of rotting donkey arse.

Cuz I'm too proud.

W/o anything to be proud of.

C'est vrais, ca. J'ai disait tous les temps que je suis stupide. Mais, non. Personne ne me croyent pas. :-(

I wish I was smarter.... or at least better disciplined, so I could hide that I'm not as smart as I'd like to be.

Mood: disappointed
Music: Train - Hopeless

Some ppl get down reading the news, but I like it. I spend two or three hours just about everyday reading the news. In as many as four languages.

And lately, our IP office here is gearing up to be concerned about participants' psychological adjustment. A fun mental exercise is comparing and contrasting studying abroad with overseas deployment. And I find it ironic that the IP office will be closed for the "brave ones" of us who are not running home to our mommies and familiar lives while we'll not be occupied by classes b/c its a break.

But none of that is the point.

I'm feeling much better adjusted than a couple weeks ago. I read articles about various events in the US as well as in other parts of the world and reflect on how I've changed and stayed the same. I like the place I've settled into as far as my political allegiances and identity is concerned. I have no problems w/being an American and appreciate it in ways I could only have imagined, previously. And I think most of it is b/c I've begun to understand Americans as part of the world, not so much the attackers and raiders from outside it--to the world what the Vikings were to Paris. The alien entity disrupting peace that the rest of the world understands and we could not comprehend. I don't see us that way, anymore. And I don't see the rest of the world that way, either. And neither has experienced a "retracted" nor an "inflated" value, in my mind.

Maybe I'm just feeling all warm and fuzzy over Thanksgiving--one American celebration I've always loved--or maybe the IP office has cause to be worried about participants' psychological adjustment; but, I'm feeling well and secure in my identity as an American, and as a member of the larger human race. And I'm feeling good about being a foreigner in a foreign land. Being able to read the news contributes to that. In a way, it lets me build a little America around me--which is the enemy of study abroad--but to a greater degree it gives me something to take another perspective from.

Still, though, I hope I am getting everything I can from this experience.

I would write more, or clarify better (at least), but I'm hungry...

Mood: hungry
Music: Dave Matthews Band - Crush

Y'all have een minding Ukraine in the news lately, right?

Whaddaya think?

Mood: curious
Music: Goo Goo Dolls - Iris

So, *** (bowtomecha) posted an interesting excerpt in his LJ and since I'm all for pulic education and enrichment, I thought I'd link the site he got it from here. Its about penii and stuff to do w/them. The section on sexual positions and technique is esp good cuz it incorporates some techniques (Eastern) involving rhythm and depth that many (Westerners) don't really consider. Many Happinesses to you!

**I really hate when I get a lock for someone's real name b/c I know them better by their aliases...

Mood: impressed
Music: Tool - Lateralus

So I wrote this e-mail that's settled the annoyed din in my mind a little and now I don't really want to send it. So I posted it private. :-D

.
.
.
.

That ought to be fine. If it prooves not to be, I'll just... open the loop a bit.

Or something.

Its prolly nothing, anyway. We all know how I love overanalyzing stuff and inventing problems where none have been announced. Its always been a challenge for me, waiting for whoever might have the problem to address it rather than address all the possibilities automatically--trusting that they'll let me know there's a problem and give me an opportunity to correct it.

But, now, really, I should be able to sleep. Damned "B" key keeps sticking.

Mood: reluctant
Music: Uncle Kracker - Follow Me

I should not be allowed to communicate while inebriated.

I fucking scare myself... sheesh... To anyody and everyody who endured the unfortunate tragedy of me drunk (esp last night), I am sincerely sorry. Just trying to clean some of this mess up, now. I'm going to bed, soon.

Mood: embarrassed

So I almost passed out sitting in a chair in the couloir, which prompted me to decide to make an early night of it and turn in.

And then I couldn't sleep.

So I'm online, for a bit...

Everyone say hi to Victoria (goldmink). I met her when I was backpacking in Italy. She's from Malta, studying vet science... Very cool chick.

Mood: awake

Mood: photographic
Music: Train - Get To Me

I'm taking my meds, again. I've got 23 days to enact my plot. I've already made my calendar. I've decided that 14hrs of sleep per day is too much. More later, as developments develop.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

I am thankful for:

• My family, that is always there for me.


• My friends, who like to be around me for who I am.


• My troubles, that made me who I am; their solutions, that make it possible for me to be a better person.

What are you thankful for?

Mood: plotting
Music: Tool - Lateralus

I took two of my four tests this week, today. Prolly failed the history one cuz I missed the one lecture she gave all the info in last week. Translation I feel better about. Came home, made some food and passed the fuck out for five hours. And I mean passed the fuck out. I barely made it to my bed and woke up in the same position I was in when I fell into bed. It was good, and I feel better, now. Another 8A day tomorrow. I hate those. I know some ppl have to get up lots earlier than me, but they're also getting paid to do it--not paying to do it. And they're prolly morning ppl, anyway. Which I am not. My least favorite part of the day is sunrise. And I have to get up before it on most mornings, now. Which means I'm awake for my least favorite part of the day most days. Bah. There's some other stuff, but its not so important. I'm getting a headache, but that almost works cuz I'll take some tylenol PM in about an hour then go back to bed. And maybe I'll feel better in the morning.

Oh, yeah... another test, tomorrow. Phonetics. We'll see how that one goes.

Love y'all.

Mood: blah
Music: Van Morrison - I'll Be Your Lover

Happy Birthday Wix (plug_in_tomato)!!!

Today sucks a lot. I wish I never woke up. Esp not too late to go to class. I hate everything, esp going off my meds. I want a warm fluffy sweater and the Japanese Garden on campus. And lots of really good hugs.

Until, then, maybe I'll just retreat back to my bed and try to sleep the world off. Nah... too late for that.

Mood: gloomy
Music: Incubus - Drive

I'm so tired... went on group excursion today and lost my white scarf--the one I was wearing when I almost died in that canyon in Israel... :-( I'll miss it, it served me well.

Having dinner/movie night chez moi tonight. Have some homework, four tests for next week.

Et je suis fatiguee.

Talked w/Mark (monkeyspankmj) the other night... that was a longlonglong night, and I don't remember about four hours of it...

And I just read an e-mail from mima telling me that Traescer was hurt during the robbery. :-(

Mood: listless
Music: franch radio

I just got done writing more than half of the letters and post cards that I want to/owe. And its still early.

Today the Beaujolais Nouveaux came out... I got some. Yes I did. One of the last times I'll drink for a while, but this was a tradition for me back in NOLA and its only right here in France. Plus, a little good wine never did anyone bad... ;-D A lot of other shit is either bad or on the verge of it, but, hell, the wine is good. And the night is still so young.

I may be a nit, but pls don't trample my last hope--that it can't all be as horrible as I imagine, that the future does have some promise that I actually want to exact. I'll just hum that to myself and try to do everything I can.

Speaking of which; I didn't want to get up this morning, but I did. Then btwn classes I took a nap and I didn't want to get up again for class, but I did. And I feel good about that. I'll feel good as long as possible, too, cuz I've got at least four exams next week and I'll prolly suck a lot on all of them cuz that's just my style. Most LJ stuff--replying, reading, is going to have to wait until the wee hours of the weekend. And there's stuff I want to reply to, stuff I want to write, and stuff I want to comment on. Perhaps this weekend I'll even try composing my first French post in a long-overdue while.

Tomorrow is more letter-writing, grocery shopping, trying to get tech help, class, and then *freedom* for the weekend, which will be whiled away trying to prepare to do well on those tests. Now I go read some news. Cuz I like it.

BTW, have I told you lately that I love you? Well, I do.

Mood: productive
Music: Maroon 5 - Sunday Morning; Kate Ryan - Desenchantee

So, I've got a lot of hard, bad days ahead of me. I've informed the house that I'm going off my meds and what that means. So we're celebrating. What else is one to do? //shrug

Call me dumb and naieve, even blind, but I think it'll turn out better than I'm thinking it will. Yeah, there will be times that I'll really want to die but when they're over I'll still be alive and once you come to terms w/that and you realize there's no flight to take, all that's left is fight. So that's what you do.

As long as I can remember what I'm doing here, as long as I can keep myself going through the motions, as long as I can step back and remember how none of any of it ever matters--and that that's okay b/c it never did matter, and never will--then I've got a decent chance of leveling out on a decent timeframe. And yeah, level is going to be below the surface for me. But maybe it won't always have to be like that.

Mood: hopeful
Music: Train - Your Every Color

I've never felt so comforted about what happened in America this month...

"To a certain extent Saddam Hussein's departure was a positive thing but it also provoked reaction such as the mobilization in a number of countries of men and women of Islam which has made the world more dangerous." - Jaques Chirac

Fucking dipshit.... Am I the only one who sees a fundamental problem in the theory of leaving someone like Saddam Hussein in power b/c he keeps everyone too afraid to do anything? Chirac's problems have nothing to do with the invasion or the ousting of a terrorist dictator and everything to do w/his secret (and INTERNATIONALLY ILLEGAL!!) trade contracts and the flood of money gained through corruption of the oil-for-food program, whose financial aspects were administered by a French bank.

HELLO!?!

Mood: frustrated
Music: Louis Armstrong & Ella Fitzgearld - It Had to Be You

...or nightmares of bloodthirsty rage... I just found out we were robbed by the little fucktard my mom took in.

That's it. I quit this whole "try to be positive" shit. Whenever I do try to think positively, worse shit happens. WORSE.

I'm so fucking pissed off right now, I don't even think I could sleep, anymore. Fucking France. Fucking exchange rates. Fucking BAD BADBADBADBABDABDBADBADBADBABDBBABDBADBABDBAD news ALL THE GODDAMNED TIME. Fucking beaureacracies. Fucking shitfaces. Fucking fuckign ahtgeriowhgh3wi840[yht2

Mood: infuriated

So, I've been working on this little problem. I know more, but I'm no nearer an actual solution qui marche (that works). What I've learned tells me that I've configured the computers correctly. What I've learned is that the ADSL is activated and I should be able to use it now, immediately. What I've learned is that I do not need a separate application or client to do PPPoE (such as FriendlyPPPoE or WinPoET), in fact, these executibles cannot even be installed on WinXP (all the machines I'm working with are WinXP). What I've learned is that I absolutely cannot install IE 6.0 SP1 francais. What I've learned is that the hardware configuration is correct in any of three ways. Waht I've learned is that no source, in English or in French, can solve my problem b/c according to theory I have no problem. What I've yet to learn is how to make French software (logicel) understand that. Damn the French.

In a spirit of dejected failure (oxymoron, much?), I will now marche (march/truck/walk intently/"run"/function) my ass to bed since I am just in time to spend another day exhausted. Luckily, tomorrow is my easiest day: a 08h de midi (from 8A to noon) solid class, then the rest of the day off. And, hey, maybe tomorrow the bank will chose to give me access to my money, as well...? I forget right this moment what it was that I was going to do w/it... Oh, yeah! Buy food. Like stuff for house pasta... canned mushrooms... greenbeans... frozen cordon bleu de dinde... a bottle of 78-centime cider to celebrate... milk and fake frosted flakes... potatoes... onions... maybe some juice... applesauce?... a cut or two of beef... two or three chicken boobies... laughing cow... sweet bread... sliced bread... sandwich meat... emmental... tomatoes... cucumber... bananas... eggs... tomato soup... hmmmm.... Yes, yes, I think that was it. Maybe I'll even spring for some frommage de hamburger or cheddar, and tortillas (!!). Bryan found pancake mix at Carrefour, so this weekend we're having an American breakfast; I can hardly wait, I've been craving pancakes like mad for two months, now. And there's always the chance of lovely dreams, tonight...

I'll fix these frenchies, yet. And write letters to ppl tomorrow when I get bored in class. I got mail from (1) my sister, and from (2) Connor and Nikki (gnomeygirl), from (3) an old co-worker (Ashanda), and from (4) my grandma. I need to get three postcards for (1) Efrat, (2) Renee, and (3) Mike (grooveywarlock). Plus I wanted to write Mark (monkeyspankmj) a note so he can read something while he's not sleeping in the mud on field exercises.

Rawr.

Mood: tired
Music: the din btwn my ears

Bah... always only bad news from home. Stresses me out a lot. And its stressful enough trying to make sure I really put my best effort into this stuff. And such. I'm so happy my house-situation is as good as it is, that I get to live with such awesome ppl; cuz if that was bad, I just duno what I'd do.... So, yeah. Its really mean, but certain things seem very desperate to me so I try to avoid thinking about them. Not the best coping mechanism, I know, but sometimes I'm tired of coping. It works a little, just not thinking about it or tricking myself into thinking about something else when I do. Ahh... la vie...

Tonight was nice, though. Went to a friends' for dinner and that was such pleasantness! And a lovely walk home! The sky was so clear and dark. The cold was crisp and sharp but not biting, and the humidity is better so my knees aren't so sore (arthritis! I'm only 22!). I like walking around w/Bryan cuz he doesn't have to jabber and frequently says thoughtful or clever things when its quiet--not loud, abrasive noise to fill the silence. Some man is going to be very, very lucky, one day.

Trying to fix a problem and its frustrating me. Configuring everyone's computers to get on the ADSL modem (the WiFi alteration pack is due in another two weeks--read a month). The installation hardware wants IE 6.0 SP1 in FRENCH ONLY, which won't install b/c MS detects a later version (albeit in another language), even though I can't find it so I can't uninstall it. This problem must be solved, and then perhaps the problem of PPPoE can be solved when the software installer finishes installing the drivers for the modem (the connection is already set as a PPPoE client, which is a newer protocol that I'm not entirely familiar w/ but I understand what it does...).... So that's the problem for the moment that I can actually do something about.

Hopefully before too late, cuz I have class in seven and a half hours and lately not only have I had an appetite for food, but also for sleep... So, I'mna get back to that, now. :-|

Mood: sombre
Music: house noises

Another article to comment on...

Classes today sucked. I gave up on the first one after sitting in the freezing cold for ten minutes after the set start time of my class. Sometimes, I'm sure the Institute is comprised entirely of ninnies. Afternoon class was very slow; I was sooooo glad when it was over. Tomorrow's first class is 10A, which is a lot better than 8A.

The bank had better have credited my deposit; I'm bringing Israeli salad to a dinner at a friend's appartment. Usu I'm the one holding dinner parties, so this should be fun.

What else, what else? Oh, yeah... the US economy/EU Economy, and Powell's resignation... I have thoughts on these issues, as well, but will save them for another time...

Time for bed, soon. I look forward to it.

Cute.

Mood: fatigued
Music: water heater...

I'll comment on this, soon....

Meanwhile, I have an 8A class and Shiawaseda is being very slow. Very slow, indeed.

Mood: annoyed
Music: Pixies - Where Is My Mind?

So, the night essentially began when Maxence called me at almost 8P (we had arranged to meet at 7P). He'd gotten lost on the way to our appartment b/c he has about as much sense of direction as Keri--Guillaume and I are the navigators for our respective colocataires (housemates). At the same time, Shanna, Keri, and Josefina were going out to retrieve some boy Josefina met at IPN (une boite) the previous night from their rendez-vous at a cafe on Cours Mirabeau. It is this last piece of information which led to the most interesting developments of what would be a long night.

So, I get back to the appartment with Maxence and his sweet little gf, Adi. Keri comes back shortly thereafter explaining that the guy had at the last minute changed the meeting place from a cafe on Cours Mirabeau to his appartment on the Palais de la Justice. The Palais de la Justice is a perfectly nice place--for criminals and whores. So this mec (dude/guy) ends up coming over w/his pit/dane mix dog and two hoodlum friends. Have I mentioned these three guys were all fucked up, as well? Innocent little Josefina is completely clueless that there is a problem, could possibly be a problem, or why. So after several harrowing minutes, we kick them out. The "little" one, whom Josefina was supposed to be having a coffee date w/ cussed Keri and I out (in French, of course) and charged at Keri (one of his friends held him back). Eventually, we got them downstairs and out the door. Since this building was once the royal mint, there are literally bars with which to lock the door and we used them. Then the asshole calls Josefina on her portable (cell) and says one of his friends left their wallet and they're coming back to get it. There was no wallet. So Keri called Vincent (the chivalrous one) and he came over, arriving a few minutes before these other guys, who were even more fucked up than before. We let them in to show them there was no wallet--we are Bryan, Shanna, Josefina, Adi, Maxence, Vincent, and myself. They are clearly afraid of Vincent, which was the point. The "little" guy, after verifying there is no wallet, proceeds to try to get buddy-buddy w/Vincent--who being the cool bastard he is, handles it quite well--and offers to show Vincent how he works out. Before we know what the hell is going on, he's got his jacket and sweater off and is trying to either do a handstand or kick Vince in the face by way of some strange drunken ninja move in his camo-patterned wife-beater. He shouts at one of his friends to lift his ankes and he proceeds to do several standing push-ups, banging his head on the floor quite solidly just about every time. Needless to say, we are all dumbfounded and just a little suspicious about wtf is going on--also slightly amazed/amused by the "turn" of events. Again, we herd them out... and bar the door.

Not long after (10-ish), Maxence and his gf decide they're going home. Josefina gets several earfuls from Shanna, Keri, and I. Vincent adds a few things but is considerably gentler than we are. Paco comes into the kitchen for a beer just as we're finishing. Vince leaves with Josefina to walk her home about an hour later. Shortly thereafter, Diego emerges from hiding in his room with Elenor. We apologize profusely, telling them the story of tonight up to then. Diego's friends begin arriving, and eventually there are a dozen ppl. Keri decided she was tired and went to sleep. Accoustic guitar, singing, joking, laughing, talking, bantering, beer, wine, rum, Deepak Chopra, pre-popped popcorn, and tortilla chips rule until around 1A when ppl start leaving. Maria decrees that I must become familiar with her apartment, I should just follow Diego next time he calls on her.

So Shanna, Diego and myself were talking about all sorts of things w/o a word of English while Bryan talked with a friend on the phone in his room. Diego left to take care of something, and Bryan came into the kitchen and Shanna and I got into a huge debate about awareness/slavery/ancestry. Keri came out of her room mid-way into it. Lets just say it was a very loud and intense debate. Eventually, Shanna made peace for being an ignorant ass after Bryan and Keri both went off their separate ways for the night and we shared an early morning pesto pasta. We talked about American politics and the future of our country in the world for the next several hours, at which time I realized it was 6:30A and called the game over.

And that was last night. Tonight, I'm taking a break from another party to finish this entry and post it. Tonight's party is much smaller, but its at least as loud as last night's which is really annoying me. The main attraction tonight is the Columbian trying to seduce my gay housemate w/salsa lessons. Grr. Mais, c'est la vie, and my absence has just been noticed by one of the darling little Japanese girls, so I must go... good thing I'm done.

Mood: popular
Music: various

Interesting night, tonight... I'll hafta tell y'all about it after my sleep.

hmmmm.... clean clothes....

Mood: sleepy
Music: Classical... very pretty... can't quite place it; chamber from the 18th cent.... N.Fr./W.Ger....

zippo138: The hypocracy of the French, do they really derail the US wilst wearing Levi's and smoking Marlboro's?

C'est vrais ca. the French do engage in this sort of behavior, but here we don't call it "hypocrisy", we call it "a pradox of French society".

French night life

requested by: kenpy and faerie
I'm starting with this topic because its easiest.
So, French Nightlife. There are a few moviehouses, but they're not open terribly late and their selection is generally crap, so its more like an in-the-afternoon-to-pass-a-few-hours thing than anything else. What ppl then do breaks into approximately three areas:

1. eating out
2. having dinner parties
3. going out drinking

These are all social affairs and are done with other ppl--sometimes groups as small as two or three, sometimes as large as twelve to fifteen.

Going out to eat is something for a group of two to six to usually engage in--plenty of conversation at the table, but not so many ppl that you can't be seated or that there's confusion. These groups tend to be three or four ppl and often after the meal (at least for the whipershnappers) two to four of these dining groups will often coalesce into one clubbing/pubbing group, sometimes as many as an average of one person from each party will drop out of the new larger group and either form their own group for quieter activities chez quelqu'un (at one of their places), a different itinerary for the night (different clubs, different neighborhoods), or just to go home. I'll come back to clubbing/pubbing in a bit.

Dinner parties are a more convivial, and more budget-friendly, sort of eating out. Often dinner parties will involve more ppl (parties I've hosted have had from five (only once!) to ten or twelve ppl--usu around seven or eight). They are always held chez quelqu'un, and can vary quite a deal in the degree of elaborateness--some dinner parties are simple pasta meals, others are multi-course and include roasts, baked chicken, or some other meat. Often, the conversation at a dinner party is much more lively, and often more wine is consumed than at a restaurant. These dinner parties can last a minimum of two hours to as many as six or seven hours (I had one that lasted eight hours...). Sometimes it is the only thing participants do in a night, but depending on the age and energy level of the group, it is not unusu to move to clubbing/pubbing once the meal and accompanying banter is over--generally not before midnight or one o'clock.

Now, since both of the other main activity areas often end up clubbing/pubbing, I will discuss that (followed by a short decription of what usu happens when parties separate from the larger groups to go do something quieter at home instead of clubbing/pubbing). However, although clubbing/pubbing is often part of a much longer night, it is also possible to begin with clubbing/pubbing and simply get a little something to eat (nowhere near a full meal) at one of the pubs or at one of the handful of food kiosks which remain open for this purpose. When one goes this second route, the evening meal is often divided into two (sometimes three) much smaller snacks spaced throughout the night. France has a wide variety of types of establishments to frequent in these cases. There are (1) full restaurants which also have bars, there are (2) bars-only, there are (3) brasseries (pub-restaurant-type things, often also containing a tabac--a tabac being the only kind of place at which tobacco products can be purchased), there are (4) pubs, there are (5) cafes, there are (6) clubs, and there are (7) boites. (1) The full restaurant/bar option is probably one of the most expensive, and is a way to combine eating out and drinking to mild excess without having to venture into inclement weather or wander around much. There is usu at least some dancing, here, but the music is not the high-energy stuff that is blasted from most other nightlife establishments. (2) Bars-only are the closest to an American drinking establishment that you'll get in France. The music, however, is not the rock/pop/country you'd expect from an American bar--most establishments play some brand of techno/electronica or live cover bands (no new art, music-wise). They consist of the DJs' tables, a long bar, a few tables and benches, and a space for dancing--outside there are more tables, chairs, and the first wave of doormen. The outside area is very common in France--every establishment has one and they use it. Places where ppl are expected to sit are always covered, and often with the colder weather they are at least partially enclosed by plastic and heavy canvas. (3) Brasseries are like small-scale restaurants with bars, and usu tabacs. There is sometimes a plat-du-jour, but meals are one or two courses only and the focus is on the bar aspect. Dancing is not normal in brasseries, though the music is very peppy--prolly the closest to American bar music that you'll find, here, since there is often rock influence. Some brasseries specialize in jazz offerings. Still no live bands, or even just singers. Wine will be better here than at a bar, and mixed drinks can get quite elaborate. (4) Pubs are where you'll find live cover bands/singers--but only rarely. Live music is not a normal thing, here, unless its daytime on the street outside a cafe or a DJ spinning in a boite or other dance-focused establishment. Pubs specialize in beers, and wine will be in short supply. There is always the usu hard liquor suspects, here, but don't expect much variety in mixed drinks. There is not often food at a pub, but if there is a kitchen open (usu left over from day-time limited restaurant incarnations), you may also have some pleasant surprises w/mixed drinks. You can get coffee at pubs much easier, aslo, esp specialty coffee drinks. (5) Cafes will have good wine, some house specialty mixed drinks, hard liquor is not as popular, but there are often snack-type foods available. They're more mellow places, although the music is still high-energy. It is often easier to while away a night at a cafe than a pub because drinks are cheaper and its easier to hold a conversation. (6) Clubs are glorified bars-only. The main differences here are in the price of the clothes ppl in attendance wear and therefore the price of drinks. The only good thing about clubs is that they often sell tobacco, and are free for women. (7) Boites are the heart of French nightlife, esp for the younger kids. Boites will sometimes have live bands, but more often than not the live music is coming from a DJ. Boites rarely rely on pre-recording. There is often less variety in drinks than clubs, but prices are also more reasonable. Boites are usu free for women, and an arm or leg for men. A boite is where you go to pick someone up, if that's your bag, but most ppl go to hang out with friends, drink a lot, and dance a lot. Not much conversation happens, here, and food is generally unavailable and even forbidden. Boites almost never have tabacs. Boites are underground (as a rule), but so are some clubs so you much clarify that all boites are underground, but not all underground establishments are boites. Boites are generally quite a bit smaller than clubs, and generally get much more crowded.

And now for what one does when one chooses to stay in for the night. Usu this decision is made after either a dinner party or eating out, not generally once the clubbing/pubbing portion of the evening has begun (once that starts, you're tied in to dancing and drinking or bed). Not many ppl spend the night in by themselves--it is usu a decision made among friends or housemates to stay in. This is like having some friends over for a quiet night in the States, except the conversation is usu much more intense, and the behavior even less formal. Often, a movie is the underpinning of such an evening, but that is prettymuch unnecessary unless you have someone very cultually American at the moment. And just b/c a house stays in doesn't mean the house stays sober that night. In fact, drinking beer or wine with friends over a lively debate or raging commedy is one of the most fun, easiest, and cheapest things to do.

Essentially, it must be noted that a night free of the responsibilities and demands of school is most certainly not wasted haunting one's own space. This is part of French joie de vivre, and is vital for French social systems. Time which is free from obligation is obligated to celebrating life and good company; a missed opportunity to take part in this sort of celebration is anathema, and will cause a good deal of concern among ones' "ppl". Even if the celebration is limited to a night alone w/a SO, or a night with just a roommate or two, or a roommate and a SO. Ppl share their time at night, if it is not already dedicated to study. They share their time and they share their life and this is what joy is.

Mood: analytic
Music: Louis Armstrong - A Kiss to Build a Dream On

So I've successfully finished dying my hair all one color. Black. In a week or so it'll mellow to my natural color--just shy of black. I'll have to take a pic or something tomorrow when its dry. I think it makes my face look fatter and the blemishes more obvious. I think having some blond in it gives my flesh a tone of the living, and blends things a little. But streaks are unprofessional, and the roots were getting longer than style accepts. So its back to this. I'll get used to it in a day or two, I guess. :-D Its not really as bad as all that may seem. You'll see...

Tomorrow night (tonight), Maxence and his gf Adi, visiting from Lille for their 1-yr anniversary, will be hanging out. That ought to be fun. I just hope my brain is capable of French Mode...

Mood: blah
Music: Louis Armstrong & Ella Fitzgerald - Lets Call The Whole Thing Off

I gave myself my own flu shot today (well, yesterday if you wanna be all technical about it).

Mood: determined
Music: The Best Is Yet To Come Undone

I think if my Oral Assessment in February doesn't go so well, I'mna direct my efforts to acquire some experience in Iraq through an internship, or volunteering, or whatnot.

On a completley different note:

Interesting article... which basically says that the fact the US first got disapproval from the Security Council for action in Iraq prooves how deeply the UN and its bodies have been accepted by international governance. It also notes the sweet irony that it was the US who planted the seeds of dissent it now faces as part of it unilateralist-driven backlash--lets not forget that is was the US that "made the UN happen". This attention to "established" international protocol, according to the authors, suggests a kind of "political capital" which the UN can then turn around and spend on buying back the US. However, this is not the case for nations which don't even bother--for example, pre-war Iraq (invasion of Kuwait), and various parties in African nations. And the UN is not applicable for domestic disputes--which tend to be the ones which foster the most robust forms of terror--since it is a union of *nations*, and, therefore, not vested with the power of internal monitoring of any of its member states: an interesting observation considering the purpose and function of groups such as the International Atomic Energy -wtvr, whose only legitimacy is drawn on the fact that their "monitoring" is by proxy and on behalf of other nations--_not_ on behalf of a world community. If, perhaps, the UN functioned more as a supra-governing body (like the EU) rather than as a spectator outside of the sport, then it could be more effective in resolving "domestic" disputes, which quickly become international when, for example, the wrong dictator is left standing when the dust settles.

The article also discusses the rather fuckle American tendency to swing through degrees of uber-independence (almost isolationism) and a spirit of international cooperation and effort. I think this goes back to the established "hegemony" of US culture, for one, and politics, for two. And I would have to say that this swinging back and forth is also a reflection of global reactions as much as personal volition. Yes, the world does matter to us in the US. In fact, it seems that the question I ask most frequently, lately, is if the world matters to anyone else; since it is only when the US does not cooperate that the rest of the world joins together for anything--in those cases, only to bag on the US, not even to really exert any form of contradicting power (which it has).** It is a question of how much the rest of the world feels it is actually powered by theories of power and government and how much it resists those ideas. I find the rest of the world to be at least as fickle on this (as a group) as the US is in the strength of its efforts to work with the rest of the world. The world's theories say the US is the main power, some dissent and some resistance is heard to this, but only in muted terms. Even the world's objections with US behavior is based on the assumption that it is the US which reigns. This leads me to believe that the rest of the world, for all its talk and complaint, is not actually very ambitious when it comes to sharing power, working together, solving problems and enacting solutions as a WORLD, rather than as a rag-tag group of under-zealous players supposedly under the disputed leadership of a "team captain" trying not to be a militarist.

It is because organizations like the UN try to remain legitimate and try to circulate and direct power without being a part of power-play, with neither having nor imposing nor trespassing on sovereignty. What about the sovereignty of the world? What about the sovereignty of humankind in its billions of individuals? This is why we see borders evaporating and why there are so many treatises on the threat to national sovereignty of globalization and [post-]modernity... because, as I have been saying along with so many others, National Sovereignty is becoming a dream. While there is some of it left, there must be frameworks for individual sovereignty developed. I'm not saying a totally borderless society is what we'll wake up to tomorrow, and I'm not advocating a uni-culture. I'll let you distinguish the difference before I get too far off track, here...

So, the UNs power supposedly lies in the fact that it was overridden. And I have to agree. If the UN had no power, there would be no overriding. That power, as always, is derrived by the cooperation and promise of member nations, and is undermined by their disregard or action outside of its chambers. Also, by this argument, the US actions in Iraq, although conceivably unilateralist, were also authorized by the UN failure to counter them. The US did go to the Council, and the US did give the Council all the time it asked for to step through its processes completely and thoroughly, and the US was a willing participant to all of those processes. That is the power of the UN; but as we've seen and continue to see, the UN was amiss in not applying its own power--for fear that it would find itself powerless. Because it is not an entity in and of itself, yet, it is a composition of parts; at any point, one of those parts, or many, can withdraw itself (as France effectively did by vowing to veto anything about US military action in Iraq) and take along with it the power it lends.

Bah... but I'm getting a little tired and I'm losing my thread, so I'll stop with this before this turns into an ultra-nationalist schpiel with absolutely no value or reason... Plus I think I'm getting a headache from being under-hydrated.

**For example: US troops are being re-deployed to Afghanistan in larger than anticipated number because the UN cannot seem to drum up enough support for a stable and peaceful world from among its members to "staff" the security of their own joint work.

UPDATE 4h43

How Would YOU Take Over the World?

Bloody hell, I need to get to bed... STOP READING THE NEWS AND LJ!!!

Mood: thirsty
Music: none

Don't you find it oddly ironic that Arafat died on Armistice Day?

Mood: elated
Music: none at the moment

I really wish I had something interesting/compelling to write, but it seems I am incapable. :-(

Poll #381861 Writing Suggestions
Open to: All, results viewable to: All

What would you like me to wax poetic/rant&rave;/expound/summarize/etc/other about/upon? Waht do you want to know my thoughts on? What would you read? (150chars)

In case you're about as creative as I am, some suggestions for suggestions:

Or prettymuch anything...

( mememe )

Mood: stagnant
Music: Ani Difranco - Not A Pretty Girl

The IDF Intelligence. So secret, you don't even
know what you're doing yourself... As a soldier
in the Intelligence, you are probably the quiet
sort of person, know-it-all, maybe bossy
sometimes. After all, they have to act by YOUR
stats, don't they? ;)


Which force of Israel Defence Forces would you serve?!
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Funny the Kinneret should come up on this one... anyway. Tomorrow is another French national holiday.

Of course, I expect to receive mail prolly tomorrow, but it won't be delivered.

That also means no 08h00 class, though! :-DDDD

>> I May Add To This Post Instead Of Making Lots Of Little Updates... <<

13h43
You must read this:

Traumatized Kerry supporters in Florida seek therapy: report
MIAMI (AFP) - Shocked supporters of defeated US presidential candidate John Kerry are seeking help from psychologists, who refer to their condition as "post-election selection trauma."
The Boca Raton News reported Tuesday that Palm Beach, Florida trauma specialist Douglas Schooler alone has already treated 15 clients and friends with intense hypnotherapy since the Democratic candidate conceded on November 3.

"I had one friend tell me he's never been so depressed and angry in his life," Schooler said. "I observed patients threatening to leave the country or staring listlessly into space. They were emotionally paralyzed, shocked and devastated," he told the daily.

"We're calling it 'post-election selection trauma' and we're working to develop a counseling program for it," said Rob Gordon, the Boca Raton-based executive director of the American Health Association.

"It's like post-traumatic stress syndrome, but it's a short-term shock rather than a childhood trauma," he told the daily.

Mood: content
Music: Matchbox Twenty - If Your Gone

mmkay... but if I'm going to bed, I really need to get moving on that....

Mood: impatient
Music: Vapors - I Think Im Turning Japanese

Having been amended only 17 times since 10 vital amendments (the Bill of Rights) were added at the republic's inception, the U.S. Constitution is not easily changed, primarily because so many states (75%, now 38 of 50) must agree. Yet, there are 38 states today that may be inclined to adopt, let us call it, a "Declaration of Expulsion," that is, a specific constitutional amendment to kick out the systemically troublesome states and those trending rapidly toward anti-American, if not outright subversive, behavior. The 12 states that must go: California, Illinois, New York, New Jersey, Massachusetts, Vermont, New Hampshire, Maine, Rhode Island, Connecticut, Maryland, and Delaware. Only the remaining 38 states would retain the name, "United States of America." The 12 expelled mobs could call themselves the "Dirty Dozen," or individually keep their identity and go their separate ways, probably straight to Hell.

This isn't written quite as well as Swift's, despite the author's claim of taking several weeks' work, but its still entertaining--esp this paragraph.

>> This Entry Subject To Later Additions <<

UPDATE 23h06

Things to cry about while in my lovely before-bed shower:

ach, fuck it. I'm not actually going to cry in my before-bed shower. I will lather and LURV! it. B/c I do so adore a hot shower before bed when its cold and yucky.

I also need to not sleep so much. Damned weather. Damned I-sucky-at-the-language funk. Damned damn-the-world attitude. Damned I'm-insecure-about-my-future wimpiness. I'll get over it. Right after I get over myself.

Music: U2 - Elevation

So my alarm didn't go off, and I assumed that b/c I'd slept until 13h that must've meant that it was Sunday.** But, no, I remembered doing my homework last night, so that meant it must be Tuesday. Both arguments played out--for Sunday, there was the thought that I'd just dreamt doing my homework since I've been dreaing a lot of real-life things, lately; for Tuesday, there were clear recollections of class the previous day. I did make it to my 14h class, so Tuesday won.

We had a test in lab. Verb conjugations--which I've been royally fucking up, lately. And I do mean ROYALLY. But I think I did a little better on this one--I thought the same thing about the last one and then proceeded to get an even *lower* score than on the first one. But we're practicing positive thinking, today.

Which brings me to another thought I had, today. Ppl here think I'm a cynic. Really, I'm prolly one of the most optimistic ppl they'll ever meet--proof: I'm still alive. If I was half as cynical as they think I am (w/o being as optimistic as they don't think they am), I would surely have killed myself, already.

So then we were doing more crap in my grammar class. In the afternoons we read articles and go over mostly vocab: mostly cognates in English, but about half the class is from Asia. Not really grammar, but who am I to say anything? And the room we're in Tuesday afternoons is fucking COLD. *Everyone* wears their jackets and gloves and sometimes you can catch the mist from their breath when they talk.

At any rate, so Prof Vieilleville calls on me to read. He doesn't correct any of my phonetics, which is very good (YaY!), but says my rhythm isn't French. Apparently I talk like jazz, and the French sing. I said I prefered jazz and he pretended not to hear. So I must sing when I speak. And not jazz. So I had to re-read the paragraph and I had to wave my finger around in the air so I could concentrate on emphasizing the right syllable and with the right tone. At one point the Asian part of the class erupted into adorable little giggles and Vieilleville told them to shut up and me to continue b/c I was doing very well. And Phil was smirking. I guess I get to practice reading aloud at home. Or, shall I say, singing aloud.

In other semi-traumatic classroom experiences, Prof Mille clapped at me in class yesterday. Phil was confused (still! this boy was in my same PLP...) about when one should use the Imparfait and when the Passe Compose. So Prof asked if anybody understood the difference. I was busy doodling so didn't notice that I was the only one to raise my hand. So I got to explain it. Which is fine. If Phil would fucking listen. So after I go through the difference for the second time Prof claps at me and says I've done very good, that my explanation was perfectly correct. "C'etait parfait, Giri. Tu a exprime le difference bien. Phil, on ecoute bien ta copine, Giri, elle le comprend tres bien!" //clapclapclap// I, very uncharacteristically, almost never speak in that class. And now I will speak even less.

I've been trying to think about my cultural adjustment, lately. It's a mystery to me. I just hope the situation isn't as bleak and unrespectable as I make it out to be in my conversations with myself. Lately my pep-talks are either apathetic or bordering on mean.

Anyway, back on the topic of lab; what we do there is listen to the 90-second news updates on the radio and we have to transcribe them word for word. Its much easier now that I tend to know what's going on in the news. :-D But that's not an advance in my ability, that's just me cheating. It has nothing to do w/lab (which I've always hated), but I get really frustrated, sometimes, that I can't make things come out my mouth the way they are in my head in French. I feel like I can't express myself, which makes me want to avoid it as much as possible, but even though I don't want to and even though I know I could be understood better speaking English to someone who didn't understand English than I would trying to speak French to someone who speaks French, I still try to use French. And I still don't feel like I'm improving. In writing I try to make it look the way it sounds when my profs talk to me, but I still make so many mistakes. They know what I'm trying to write--b/c they correct me and I think , "duh!" or "oh, yeah..."--but its not the same; someone knowing what you're trying to say, and someone understanding what you're saying.

And I do believe that that is the way it was.

**Of course, this argument holds about as much water as my hypothesis that "it can't be 8 o'clock, I haven't slept yet".

Mood: calm
Music: Van Morrison - I'll Be Your Lover; Ani Difranco - Not A Pretty Girl

Speaking about being my regular self, I've started making playlists on winamp, again, something I haven't done in ages... I've still got an ear for it, too. :-D That makes me very happy.

Today we meet w/Charles and Philippe, then we're going to hike our empty tank to the gas station and refill it. Then we shall have HOUSE PASTA!!!


I'm boring


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UPDATE 12:12
Fricking Frenchies haven't shown up, yet. I have class at 13h.

Mood: contemplative
Music: Louis Armstrong & Ella Fitzgearld - It Had to Be You

Chakra | Chakra :: Open Chakra

Following a fascinating conversation w/my roommies about chakra, I found this test!

Tonight at Endroit we're meeting to watch the Marseille/Paris "soccer" match. I'm hoping that Marseille will play better than when they were against Lens, and that the crowd will be a little more into it--cuz, y'know 'bout the rivalry btwn Paris and Marseille. We'll be rooting Marseille, of course. This is not necessarily b/c we know anything, but so that we can be participant-observers, not just observers and Marseille is an obvious choice.

Mood: excited
Music: DJ Sammy - The Boys of Summer