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Friday, February 14th, 2003
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4:19 pm
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I'm angry at the world. If Bush decides to move the terror warning up to red then we don't go to the protest. If any sort of terroist attack happens tomorrow, anything, even a strange man with a pipebomb that doesn't work then the anti-war movement will probably feel crushed. I feel so condecended having colors represent my supposed safety and the fear level I'm supposed to maintain. NYC still hasn't issued a permit to march, which annoys me a lot. It'd be more productive to hve people march rather than milling around in the street somewhere...
So Nick was suspended and he might get expelled. This didn't really bother me very much, considering my history with him, but then I found out more about his situation and what will happen to him if he is expelled. He was adopted, his real mom in Florida doesn't want him, that's where he is right now. His foster mom in NYC doesn't want him back if he is expelled, so basically he'll have no where to go. This is kinda fucked up, I think the faculty should give him anoth chance even if he does have a bad atitude and annoys teachers. He annoys me, but I respect him because he's a smart person. If he can't stay here then he really has no where to go... He's so smart, it would really be a terrible waste. And he wants to come back too... I didn't think I'd ever find myself wanting him around ever, but I kinda do now...
current mood:  depressed
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| Wednesday, February 12th, 2003
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2:19 pm
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Things have gotten much better, classes started again today and we didn't waste time parroting what's already been said in those fucking meetings we wasted the past two days on which was a good thing, but enough is enough... Last night there was a huge game of tag in the dark, it was so much fun... I wasn't even cold because I was running around so much.
But stuff is alomst okay now, which is good...
Saturday I'm going to the protest against war in NYC with a lot of people. If you think it's dumb, well... mind your own bussiness, I'm going anyway
current mood:  anxious
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| Monday, February 10th, 2003
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11:20 am - Run on sentances
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Buxton is in trouble... Things have gotten bad, last night I couldn't sleep and I ended up staying in Alice's aparement with Zaza, Sita, and Annie until 4:30 in the morning crying and talking about what's happening to the people here. I feel so helpless, I don't know what to do. Classes were canceled today and the protest in NYC was canceled and Trip was canceled.
I really love this school, I've changed SO MUCH since I came here. Can you imagine being part of the group of people attending a place like this when it ends? Teachers who have taught here for almost 40 years don't want to be here anymore... And if it really is bad enough to cancel trip, trip was the BEST part of the year last year for me and everyone I think... Then I don't want to be here. If my education is being comprimised because boys in the barn get drunk and smoke pot and cigarettes in the HALLWAYS and on the ROOF BETWEEN FACUALTY APARTMENTS then I don't want to be here. If there are only eight boys in the barn that didn't participate in the fiasco on Saturday, then why should anyone be here? It's not just the boys, it's really everyone. Nick got sent home for sexually harassing a girl and then threatening her when she stood up for herself. Girls were caught in the gatehouse bathroom smoking, and when Ilicia asked them to be quiet so she could sleep they started stomping on the floor. Tatyana had 50 dollars stolen from her room and a note was left in it's place saying "Suck me, I'm sweet" I don't know what happened, I don't know how to fix it, but I don't want to go home.
I can't belive people have let things get this bad. I can't belive I've let things get this bad... I should have written a note about Carmen when she apeared back in the dorm so drunk she couldn't hold up her own head or walk. If I was worried about her not breathing in the middle of the night, WHY didn't I write a note to facualty when I had the chance? Someone endangering themselves that much, people keeping literealy a liqour cabinet in the barn... It's fucked up! It doesn't matter now, it's old news, nothing I can do anymore except feel guilty for not acting when I had the chance...
The Junior and Senior girls met with all of the teachers this morning and we talked... Some of it was the usual bullshit, but the general feeling in the room was the same, everyone was an emotional wreck, no one slept last night. Brad was almost crying... After our meeting there were people playing music on the front porch. It was nice, great, whatever, but I couldn't deal with it so I went upstairs and took a shower. The crying kind, where you scrub your body too much because you're tired of everything and you just need something to do.
Now the Junior and Senior boys are meeting and I wish I could be a fly on the wall for that. Today, I think, Buxton should be all girls for the rest of the year. The sexual harassment would be gone. People would not be afraid to give their honest opinion in their classes... I know girls in my class have been and were for most of last year and this year because there was a group of boys that would just laugh any time a certain few girls opened their mouths for anything. This year in Am Hist I was talking, I talk a lot in class... not nearly as much as I did last year though, and Andrew just started laughing in the middle of what I was saying and yelled "That's Bullshit!" I'm a tough person, but then I just wanted to run out of the forge and go back to bed... This happens a lot actually, but usually to other people, not to me.
Trip was when our school really pulled together last year, after trip everything seemed to make more sense... Taking away trip is only going to make the situation worse I think, because the people who keep their shit together and want to be here are the ones getting fucked. And those people will flee the school like rats from a sinking ship and there will be nothing left.
current mood:  drained
current music: Legendary Pink Dots - Leper Colony
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| Sunday, February 9th, 2003
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3:45 pm
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My laptop is in trouble. The power cord is broken, the part of the computer that the cord connects into has broken off in the cord. I have 76% of my battery left, so I'm going to try to backup all of my writing and stuff I've done on my computer before it runs out. Oh, and print my very late Am Hist paper... Brad wouldn't care if my compuer exploded, he'd still want his paper.
This same thing happened to my sister's computer too, I was too lazy to try to fix it for her... Fuck Compaq, I've never abused my computer ever, I don't deserve this...
Help. Anyone have ANY idea if I can fix this?
current mood: really upset...
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| Saturday, February 8th, 2003
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11:06 pm
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Today was wonderful... I was on kitchen crew with a bunch of girls I like and we made various kinds of pasta and I made some really kick ass chicken. Zaza made brownies with creamsoda instead of water and they turned out really really well. She's getting better a guessing when it comes to cooking odd things. Much better since she made the 'chocolate' birthday cake for Katia last year with cloves and basil and salt and cayane pepper... I didn't scream at anyone or threaten people with knives this time durring kitchen crew, so it was definately a success. I went and saw Rabbit Proof Fence with Katia, Yoseff, Sophia, Sarah, Grace, and Timothy who drove us... It was really good, about aborigonies in Aurstalia who are taken away from their mother and literally walk across the continent to get home. Really cool, a true story... Yoseff gave me a string of dead minks that he bought for 5 dollars and we went to the Williams Inn and watched the Man Who Tap Dances and the jazz band. It was really a lot of fun, for once I felt like I wasn't trapped in an insane asylum
Last night was my first ever girls open dorm and we set up our room as a fortune telling room, me reading tarot cards and doing astrology and Katia reading palms. Annie and Sita had fortune telling twister set up, your future is determined by what color your limb is on when you fall. It was really amusing. Zaza had the best room ever though... She set up her crawl space and had a rebirthing experince themed room. She puts you and someone else in the crawlspace and theres a big red pulsating light... Then they guide you through the vagina and you are born out the other end. Then you get birthing fluid all over your face... It was unbeliveably entertaining...There were a series of rooms set up as Wedding Chapel, Lap Dancing, Honeymoon, and Divorce Lawyer rooms. I divorced Matt, but me and Sophia still have a happy marriage.
And because I slacked off and had funtoday, I am completely overwelmed with work tomorrow...
current mood:  happy
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| Thursday, February 6th, 2003
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4:05 pm
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So I found my hat in the library. Someone had been wearing it so it smells funny now. I'm sitting here printing out information about the Klu Klux Klan for my Am Hist project at the same time people are printing stuff for black history month. Great. Fucking wonderful. Explaining myself would be too awkward, so I'll sit and wait until they leave to get my stuff out of the printer.
My life is a satire written by someone sadistic.
current mood:  annoyed
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9:34 am
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Today has been a BAD DAY.
Waking up to Erika, yelling into our room and flicking the lights on and off "WAKE UP, IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY!" and playing U2 so loud the entire 2nd floor was shaking, you couldn't hear the vocal over the fucking bass. Oh, and it was 7:10. I usually don't even move until 7:30, yes those 20 minutes are fucking precious... How I wake up determines my mood for the rest of the day.
There was a spanish quiz - I failed it
There was art class - I ended up yelling at Ulysses
There was Am Hist - I spent the entire time thinking about what an idiot Brad is, why the hell should I listen to anything he says?
There was the path, covered in ice - I fell.
There was my coat - The one buttonhole broke.
Yesterday I took a sickday...I woke up and I couldn't talk, so the nurse took pity on me and I went back to bed... All I accomplished was a shower and reading the book for my Middle East class... I did watch a lot of simpsons on DVD and Brotherhood of the Wolf which I fucking love more every time I see it.
I've decided my next project will be making a big black veil for myself. I will wear it every day and be mysterious... Diffrent colors to match diffrent clothes and whatnot. Hey, look, I'm missing lunch
current mood:  predatory
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| Sunday, February 2nd, 2003
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4:21 pm
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New York was so much fun. The bus to the city had 35 or so Buxton kids on it, much fun, although I pity the people not with our school. When I finally found Dana at the Port Authority we went and got hotdogs at this weird little emo hotdog place in Brooklyn, they had really good organic beef and a giiant fiberglass hotdog hanging from the ceiling. Then we went thrift shooping and I got a cool lace skirt and an amazing pair of black sequined high heels for 20 bucks. Yay! After that we went to a junk store in this warehouse that had PILES AND PILES of crap. There were filing cabinets and desk chairs stacked to the ceiling, an entire wall of old shoes and coats, a huge box of ties, shelves and shelves of old car stereos and computer parts and lots of old broken shit. We met up with Lindsey and went to go get tickets for Urinetown which was really really great. Then we went to a spiffy pizza place and got good food.
My mom came on Friday and I slept late... We went to a bookstore with an exibit of rare Edward Gorey stuff. I got 2 mugs, some postcards and a book. We wandered around the diamond district looking at the jewish men with suitcases handcuffed to them. I went to the modeling agency that gave me a card at the state fair 2 years ago, you know, what the hell... I spent a lot of time waiting in the waiting room, but my god if theres one thing great about modeling agency waiting rooms it the pretty boys wandering in and out. I know half of them are gay, but DAMN I've never seen such pretty men... They made me wait a long time then just asked me how old I was, how tall I was and took poloroids... I don't think they want me, they said I may be too tall and I didn't get to see how the poloroids turned out. I was pretty nervous so I don't think they're any good. We went and met up with a friend of my uncle who's a model and she gave me a nice long talk on the dangers of modeling (sex, champagne, drugs, travel) and the names of a bunch of other agencies. It sounds like a lot of fun, and I might just sell my body to fashion this summer. All I'm worried about if whether or not I'll be able to take the harshness of having my body criticized all the time. That doesn't even worry me that much though because I know if I do it I won't have too much serious intrest in it. Not a life time occupation... I mean if someone wants to pay me to wear expensive clothes and take pictures, go right ahead! I've still got a brain, and that's what matters. Blah blah. Anyway, we ate good food and went to bed.
Saturday we went to the Met and looked at the Ghengis Khan exibit and the costume gallery with the rich people's clothes...Went shopping, foudn nothing I liked and watched a boring movie... that's all.. But it was a lot of fun, and I got to sleep a lot.
current mood: happy
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| Wednesday, January 29th, 2003
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11:26 am
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People at my school are setting up a nationwide school walkout against the soon to be war in Iraq. If anyone is willing to put up flyers around their highschool or college for me, please let me know. It's currently set for sometime in late febuary, the exact date will be set sometime soon.
I finished my English story and my Spanish project, now all that I've got to do is my Am Hist paper. I don't even undertsnad what the topic is supposed to be. It's something about the army and how it's changed since it's become a profession. Blah.
Taking the bus to New York won't be as bad as I thought, most of my school is going and Dana is going to meet me at the Port Authority... I'd really like to just spend this week sleeping, but New York will be more exciting.
current mood: exhausted
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| Tuesday, January 28th, 2003
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10:51 am
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I've been neglecting my livejournal again. This weekend I took the SAT and spent a lot of time inside and reading. I've got a lot of work before homeweekend. I'm not coming home for home weekend by the way, I'm going to NYC to stay in my uncle's apartment and hang out with my mom. It'll be a lot of fun, I'm either taking the bus with the rest of the NY people or I'm going to be taking the train with Sophia. I'm excited, I want to go see the Met and hang out with Buxton kids (for the first time) outside of school. Go wander around and be touristy with my mom. Maybe go visit colleges.
I'm writing a story in English about someone who converts to Christianity and reads the Bible, starting with the Old Testement and takes everything literally. He builds an altar in his backyard and gets arrested for sacrificing goats when his neighbors complain about the smell. And he tries to give away his 7 and 10 year old daughters to the police when they come to ask about it. It's supposed to be funny and even though it's not quite what Isaac assigned... I think he'll like it.
current mood:  busy
current music: The Birthday Party - Marry Me (Lie! Lie!)
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| Wednesday, January 22nd, 2003
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11:29 am
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I've been having a really good time the past few days - I've got a lot to do and my roommates are so much fun. We're planning a game os Assasins for the entire school and it'll be really really great fun. Everyone will be assigned a victim and something they have to convince that person to do to kill them. It'll be great, I love watching people make fools of themselves. I was on Tractoring on Tuesday, first time I've ever done it...it was a lot of fun considering there were only 3 of us and it was unbeliveably cold.
Speaking of cold, all of our complaining made good things happen - WE HAVE A LITTLE HEATER IN OUR ROOM! I can walk around wearing a normal ammount of clothing now!!! Good things happen when 4 people who never complain start whining all the time.
Durring creative writing last night I wrote a serries of Haiku for the kitchen people expressing how I feel about their food. Here's a few I can remember
Seitan and Tofu
What manner of food is this?
Carrots have protein
Grainy, rough like dirt
Oh, What is this in my mouth?
Wash our salad please
We eat mushy food
'Chocolate' and bread pudding
Cookies are easy
There were some really fantastic ones, but I can't remember all of them. I think haiku is a nice non-offensive way to tell the kitchen that the quality of their food has dropped significantly since last year. Some of the haiku are happy, but I can't remember those either.
I'm going to be in Lily's movie and Sophia's movie... Lily is doing Katia in Buxtonland and I'm the Cheshire cat because Lily thinks I make amusing faces. Sophia is doing Cinderella and I'm Cinderella... It's a silent film and I think Torrie is my prince charming. Which is really really funny because Torrie is funny looking. In a good way. Kinda like Sideshow Bob. A lot like Sideshow Bob actually, except not evil and with brown hair.
Enough of this, time to find entertainment in Chicago
current mood:  energetic
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| Wednesday, January 15th, 2003
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5:02 pm
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It has been snowing for two weeks. It is so unbeliveably cold outside. My room was plasticized yesterday, but it didn't do very much because it's so bone chillingly cold that I wonder if I'm ever going to be warm again. It would probably help if my room had more than one vent...
I hung out with Sophia and her brother yesterday, we sat around behind the williams art museum smoking cloves and acting dumb.
Last night I went to see Michael T Klare from Hampshire college and Stephen Van Evera from MIT talk about the War on Iraq and Terrorism. It was interesting. I've read some of Michael Klare's stuff for globalization and Oliver lives next door to him. It was cool, we got to talk to him a little bit after it... They both had really good points and it was great to hear them talk about stuff, but I came out feeling unbeliveably depressed. There's not much of a way for us to avoid this war, it's going to distract us from important things like terrorism and the only thing that will be accomplished is getting more oil so we can drive our SUVs cheaply for another decade.
And tonight is neat because I get to hear Scott Ritter give a lecture about Iraq.
current mood:  cold
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| Tuesday, January 14th, 2003
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10:55 am
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My room is freezing and when I ask Mike (the handyman type guy here) to fix it for me he says "It'll be warmer in the spring" Great, thanks, that doesn't help me, having to sleep with a fucking sweater on. Atleast I brought a couple of little rugs for the floor, it helps a little with the shock of waking up to a cold room. We had a great big party in my room last night... Frannie brought her stupid hateful smelly dog to bedcheck though, I really wish she wouldn't bring that disgusting animal in the dorms. Or atleast leave it downstairs or SOMETHING... We sat on Annie and Sita's bed for hours eating chips and salsa and ate an entire cake (5 of us! Big chocolate cake!) with spoons. I didn't go skiing yesterday because it was going to be icey and gross... I ended up playing stupid Mac games on Katia's computer all afternoon, but I got my homework done too.
This Wendsday, the former head weapons inspector from the UN is coming to talk at Williams college and I'm going... He's a highly decorated Marine and a huge embaressment to the Bush Administration... Also one of the main people speaking out against Bush Jr's war on Iraq I'm incredibly excited to hear what he has to say, this is a really amazing oppourtunity.
Oh, and go see Bowling for Columbine. Trust me. It's only playing at the Chelsea Theatre in Chapel Hill, but I promise it's worth it. Really.
current mood: busy
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| Monday, January 13th, 2003
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2:38 pm - GO SEE BOWLING FOR COLUMBINE!
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I got super-shafted durring room change. I'm in Mucket again, which is the room I lived in this term last year, it's huge and square and cold. People use it as a hallway to get to the attached room Muckette and to get to the bathroom. God damnit. But I'm living with awesome people, Annie and Sita signed up for a 2 room also, and facalty made us live in a 4 which as far away as you can get from a cozy two person room. But i'm happy I'm, living with them atleast, they're nice people I wanna get to know better and we'll all get along well. I bet we'll have the prettiest room in the entire dorm, Sita has shitloads of plants and we all have lots of nice posters and tapestries...
Ohh, and I saw a lot of movies this weekend.
GO SEE BOWLING FOR COLUMBINE! It's fucking amazing, it's such a good documentary... It's by Michael Moore, he did Roger and Me and wrote Stupid White Men. His films are so much better than his books, my school payed for everyone to go see this movie, and it was really, I mean REALLY really good. GO SEE IT! It's about guns and America and our society being fearful - politicians using it to their advantage, racism, school shootings, apathy, crazy people with guns, and it's REALLY REALLY GOOD. If I was coming home for home weekend, I'd drag everyone I know to see it. That's how good it is.
I also saw Roger Dodger, and it made me sad. It was a well done, good movie, but I pray that actual men don't act like that. Or if they do, that they all die alone and sad, and leave me alone. Watched a lot of Simpsons episodes and the Thomas Crown Affair too.
Today not much of anything happened. I got woken up in my cold room by the 3 DSes I'm surrounded by now, so theres no hope ever of me getting to sleep late ever ever again. And it's snowing again. I think I'm going to go try to read a book now.
current mood: excited
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| Friday, January 10th, 2003
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4:14 pm
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Room change is today, I'm excited. Yesterday was such a good day. It was Katia's birthday so me and Sophia made her a super cool cake and mix CD. We invaded Alice's aparemtent and had a lot of fun decorating it. It was beautiful compared to my last cake. Didn't taste as good. I went skiing yesterday too, for the first time. I only made 4 runs because I was afraid I'd forgotten how, but I haven't. Jimminy Peak has really fast lifts. Most of the trails are harder than Brodie though. The snow was really fantastic too. I was so hungry by the time I got back to school, I don't think I talked to anyone until I had finished eating. Durring studyhall me and Sophia finished up the cake and CD and set up the laundry room for a party. At snacks a bunch of people snuck down and Matt (Katia's emo boyfriend) led her down there like they were going to make out and we ate cake and had a nice little party. I got a free CD in the mail and a catalouge, which made me even happier.
And best yet I'm living with Katia very soon. Well, as soon as everyone else packs up their shit. I started today and I'm already done. Other people started taking down pictures days ago and are still packing...
Oh, and didja know this song Fox in the Snow is actually a Belle and Sebastian song? I like it a lot, I wonder what the original sounds like...
current mood: cheerful
current music: Rasputina - Fox in the snow
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| Wednesday, January 8th, 2003
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1:29 pm
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I put in my rooming slip, Me and Katia are living together, hopefully somewhere on the third floor.
The room I'm living in now smells like rotting. I've been listening to a lot of Diamanda Galas with Katia, which doesn't improve my mood even though it's fantastic music. I think I'm being too critical of people.
We're reading the Bible in english, a lot of people are mad. I think it'll be interesting, I'll have a lot to say... I don't talk nearly as much in English this year.
I've been wasting time. I should go to class now
current mood:  thoughtful
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| Monday, January 6th, 2003
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2:39 pm
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Even though I was really dreading coming back to school, now that I'm here, I'm glad. I keep running into people I'd completely forgotten about and seeing them suddenly makes me happy. The idea of Hannah Mossip and Katy and Hollie made me extremely excited once I saw them and remembered they existed. And I only had 3 classes today. I woke up for breakfast even though I had two free periods, because I didn't eat much of anything yesterday. The plane trip was good I guess. I met an interesting weirdo on the plane. We had the crazy taxi cab driver again and even though my plane had gotten in at 7:30 we had to wait for Jenny, her plane was late. I ended up not getting to school until past 10.
Night before I left I called Cassie and she was hanging out with a guy I guess I must have made out with at Rocky once... This was 2 or 3 years ago, I had no fucking clue who he is, but he remembered me quite clearly which is strange... Then she put him on the phone. After being very embarrassed and talking to him for a little while I finally remembered who he was... I'm still wondering about how my name came up in conversation and he instantly remembered me.
My Middle East class is definitely going to be interesting. Tim doesn't really know what he's doing, he told us today, and he gave us a book to read. Brad gave us two books to read at once. And tonight is tryouts for the all school play. We're going to Chicago and performing Tom Jones. What's up with Pete and these obscure british "comedies"
current mood:  okay
current music: Baby crying
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| Sunday, January 5th, 2003
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11:38 am
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I'm going back to school now. Poof.
current mood:  indifferent
current music: Lovage - Everyone Has A Summer
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12:52 am
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It's much easier to get things done for you at a computer store when the helper-guy thinks you're cute. Unfortunately, because God Hates Me nothing ended up happening at all and I don't think my mother will be able to get it done as quick without me there to bat my eyes at the helper-guy. He's much too short anyway. But hopefully by the time my cello gets to school, my computer will be fixed too and come with it. My mother is acting as my own personal courier service. So this is my last night here, I think I get to see Lesley... I got the "Oh, I thought you were leaving MONDAY, I can't possibly see you tonight" call
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| Saturday, January 4th, 2003
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1:18 am
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