WHY AM I BOTHERED BY EVERYTHING IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE???

SERIOUSLY

BLACK HOLES ARE GETTING ON MY NERVES

It's all OPMO.

So it's 2:36, and I promised myself I'd be in bed by 1:30. But I'm not. Alas. The cat is asleep, that has to count for something.
Oh yeah, I have a cat. His name is Grimm Catner, and he's the gaddamn cutest thing that ever, ever lived. He was declawed and neutered IN THE SAME DAY, and he still loves me. Someone told me that it was wrong of me to get a cat just to have something to love me unconditionally; well fuck them. I feel quite happy.
I'm going to the Bahamas for SPRING BREAK with ten of the sexiest kids on campus. Seriously, I only asked attractive people. Erin, Emily, Lindsey, Sarah, Whitney, Jessie, Lee, Nick, Matt, and Jason. Together, we make JELJSEWMLNK. Maybe I should have asked more vowel-starting-named-people. Alas-- nothing can be done now. Anyway, it will be the best trip EVER in the history of EVER.
I'm getting in that slump again. The kind that leaves me stranded on the fourth floor of Gelman for most nights, searching for another school, a place to run away. And then I realize that I do the same thing in every town I'm in for longer than a few months. Defense mechanism or what? I don't know. MVS was a haven, that's for sure. I'll be in London next year-- probably just spring, but considering the year.

Ahh, this isn't working.
I need to go read about sex history now.

Love,
K.

Sorry, it's been awhile, but I just had this flash of a memory that had to be recorded, just in case I forget it for good next time:

It was back in freshman year, in Pelham. Wyles had stayed over that night-- that room was so comfortable.. or at least, my memories of it are. I had sheets hanging over the windows, black-- candles about-- pictures, posters, record player-- very much what I had expected of "college." Well, as I said, Wyles was over, and still sleeping. I decided to take a shower, and as we had community showers back in Pelham, I dressed in my pink and yellow polka dotted bathrobe. Just then, Wyles rolled over and mumbled, "Man, you just look so cute." I posed and left for the bathroom. When I returned, he had fallen asleep again, so I dressed and went back to the bathroom to put on some make-up. I finished up about 10 minutes later and came back into the room to find Wyles, posed as I had been, looking stylish in my pink and yellow polka dotted bathrobe.

I just didn't want to forget that, I suppose.

Yeah, those first few weeks of school were just wonderful.

Love,
K.

I'm tired and sick and stressed and I've been sleeping since 1.. am.. last night. It's now 2:36 pm and I just skipped my 2:20, which I'm going to have to skip again next Tuesday.

Ugh.

Love,
K.

Yes, it has been a loooooong while. Sorry.
Let's see.. quick updates...
Micah came to visit, which was awesome.
My grades kind of suck this semester, which is not.
Went to <a href="http://groups.msn.com/KarmaClarity/leesfuckingamazinghouse.msnw?albumlist=2>Lee's place</a> outside of Philly with some kids. It was the best weekend I've had in awhile.
My hair is now red. I was bored with blond.
I got into the honors program.
I auditioned for, and received, a solo in choir. Going to finish one song, and then sing a duet with this other girl. December 3rd.
Mel's dating Jason, the GW Hatchet film editor.
Having fun with Lee.

Yes!
No false promises of longer entries later. We'll see.

Love,
K.

I've been working on this lengthy entry since the very beginning of school, but now I'm not too sure that I want to post it. Hmm... To consider.

Although I'm slowly dying of a cold and I haven't been able to speak for a week, school has overall been absolutely incredible. I entered with such fear and dread-- consequences of the last week of last year-- and all of it was unwarranted. I've met and been with people that are truly good, happy, wonderful people. AND THEY'RE NOT FAKING! And it's glorious..

Lindsey and Sarah and I have become somewhat of a threesome.. actually, that's a lie. They're a duo, and we gather occasionally to catch up. Those two were in Mitchell last year, and, like everyone else in that building, I managed to not get to know them, though they were wonderful. I'm really quite ticked with how I spent my last year-- ahh well, no use crying over spilt milk.. I'll learn from the definite mistakes I made last year.

Jeremy is my future husband. Funny-- I had somewhat of a visual crush on him last year, and somehow, this year, we've become inseperable (online, at least). He is a genuinely good person, and doesn't mind my meticulous paranoia.. he doesn't back down. Plus, he has an awesome last name: "Sadwith" aka "Tristeavec."

Lee... hmm. How to describe Lee. I had some sort of strange attraction to him from the very beginning-- that is, one where I wanted to get to know him as soon as possible. And I've somewhat gotten there. He too lived in Mitchell last year-- just got out of a two year relationship-- and provides me with thoroughly intriguing conversation, lovely movie nights, and fodder for mutual rumors... Ha.

I'm tired. Probably the double dose of nyquil I took a half hour ago. I think I'll go to sleep. More interesting things later.

Love,
K.

Livejournal is FUN!

As is DC.

Things happening left and right.

Although, at the end of the day, I swear- the best moment was the CVS clerk wishing me a good day... some poeple here just aren't that kind.

Classes start tomorrow. More to come later...

Love,
K.

( More happy pictures! )

Love,
K.

BUCK 65, "Track 13"

The word miracle, isn't really worth the same
As a measure of marvel in heaven, as it is on earth
Because extraordinary happenings are commonplace in the promised
land
So the precedent is modified
God itself decides the phenomenon fairly fantastic in nature
Happens very rarely by standards set by the practicing masters
Of the spectacular arts in paradise

As i strolled aimlessly on the edges of sacrament one day
I wasn't looking and died by accident
With sugar on my tongue and a breeze in each armpit
I descended to heaven cross-legged by magic carpet
Carried along through tunnels by a flow of waves
I met this soul with the role of issuing halos
His name was aurora, one time bet-maker
Everything he sang like chet baker
He explained the significance of the halos intentions
The way that each increment of its dimensions
Bore a correlation to the core of your essence
With factors including the learning of lessons
Things that matter the most here being
Reflect and direct on the gleam that your seeing
Overall size of the particle density
As it corresponds to the mission intensity
Well over 400 factors with radiance
Come into play with each new halos radiance
With congratulations and repeating my name
He also assured me that no two are the same
It allows you a glimpse of each persons spirit
Without having to come anywhere near it
So with halo in place and my thankfulness pledged
My resident status in heaven was full-fledged

One day in eternity after riding a teeter-totter with God
I fell asleep with my feet in the water of a lake by a tree
In a quiet little place where i could be by myself with the sun
on my face
A little while later i awoke to a rumbling
Opened my eyes to see a scene so humbling
I couldn't quite catch my breath
And my pulse doubled as the lake looked like it boiled as it
bubbled
But instead of scalding my skin it was soothing

And it only felt like my imagination was melting
And trickling into a pool of fluid intuition
As secret splendor came to fruition
My own eyes surrendered as rapture found its purpose
As beautiful harmonies danced on the surface
Abstract shapes of all colors first did a dance and then floated
From each bubbled burst
Literally billions of magnificent things
Would quake and quiver on top of the lake
I glanced left and right to see if maybe anyone else was
dreaming this dream
When i turned all the way with my back to the specter
I saw there an angel in the form of perfection
I felt paralyzed and my voice tried to hide
She glided and gently moved her hips from side to side
Without moving her feet, her hand held out in front of her
Calm and collected my hopes in her palm
The closer she came, and something about her
The most soothing sound grew louder and louder
Intense pleasure ran the length of my spine
As i pulled her towards me with the strength of my mind
When our hands finally touched she told me she loved me
And the shapes from the lake filled the whole sky above me
Instead of our tongues we spoke with our eyes
While music and color pulsed from the skies

It shines
Our edges are dreams running lengthwise
Our secret wishes fluttering light-years
We fashioned inferences in disguise shapes together
You are the space between my exhales
Our way of understanding is eyes closed navigation
We twist slivers of unconsciousness into sacrament
Ghosts waltz around our backs
Our ideas converge to form corners to hide in

Quicker than dreams we traded our charms
Then spent eternity in each others arms
It was a miracle in heaven
You could see it and hear it everywhere
The synthesis of two souls and one spirit

Our halos were the exact same size.

Let's see. How does this go again? It's been so long, I've fallen out of habit..
I am happy. And that's okay.
Quick catch-ups...

(1) This guy that graduated from my highschool when I was in 7th grade. Came back as a teacher when I was a junior, taught my brother's grade (Al is three years younger than me, mind you). Now 24, he just finished his last year as a teacher there. Is now (and was then, for a month or so, apparently) dating a girl IN MY BROTHER'S GRADE. HE TAUGHT THIS GIRL. TAUGHT HER. And he looks like a hobbit.

(2) I met Jerry Springer. No, really. What a BABE. I offered myself to him, but he turned me down because I don't take checks.

(3) I've been writing again, and oh, it is good.

(4) I've kept Kyle as my little secret from this community, so HA.

(5) I've been really busy. Classes, internship.. And I'm politically active!

I'll go further into these new happenings, but later-- now, I must go to chem. Glory glory!

Love,
K.

The youthful anger that I'd always heard about, yet never experienced, has been slowly growing, creating a rather large pit in my stomach and sticking a rock in my throat that won't release all of the fuming words and gutteral sounds that I'm dying to let loose. I am pissed at the government. More particularly, I am fucking ticked at George W. Bush and all of his little cronies in the White House.

I am currently interning at the Kerry for President Campaign in Dayton. I feel as if I left Dayton with very little, if any, very strongly held political beliefs. I walked straight the warpath with no ammo and no guard, leaving myself vulnerable to a number of tirades and wordly attacks. I returned to Dayton feeling rather wounded and kind of hateful (though I am loathe to use that word) toward politics, so much so that I figured I'd get involved and have reason to be. So now, I am.

I started off just kind of pissed at that little man we are forced to call our President. I mean, he looks like a monkey, and most of his speeches are based on morals that he and a few elite others hold near and dear to their churches. That's why I wanted to help Kerry, really; not because I liked Kerry all that much (as it is with most Kerry-voters this year), but because I don't want to deal with another four years of this son of a bitch running my birth nation. But then, I had the chance to see Kerry speak, twice; the first at GW, and the second in Cincinnati. His speech at GW was with Dean, and, although it was fun to see him at all, it really wasn't all that thrilling. Blah blah no more war, blah blah Bush is a dick, blah blah blah. That which you'd expect from someone who has a fighting chance almost solely because his antithesis is an idiot. I was also watching from one of the higher floors of our library, so I couldn't cheer or clap or anything that's supposed to make you even more excited than you should be.

But Cincinnati was different. I sat but a table away from John Kerry, and attempted to listen to him without being a little suburban starstruck artfuck (thank you Slug). And you know what? This man is intelligent. He is thoughtful, well-spoken, excited, and has one hell of a handshake. And that's what's going to kill him in this race. Bush is a black-and-white man, born for 15-second soundbytes and "yes-no" answers. Kerry? Yes, he does change his mind; but if you were to live your life by the same rules you'd conjured up years ago, you'd be pretty fucked. The point is, you learn from your mistakes, even (and especially) if your mistake leads to an international disaster that's unnecessarily ending so many lives from so many countries, including the three Americans who were taped and tortured and filmed all the while. Kerry has changed his mind, he has "flip-flopped." But hell, when I was younger, I told my parents I wasn't going to have sex until I was 30 and married for at least five years. I believed in Santa Claus, too. Change happens, and you have to be maleable in order to deal well with it.

Kerry is an intellectual. He has been the only senator to attend all four major environmental conferences. He supports women's rights. He has logical reason behind most of his convictions, even if they are of a moral base. Unfortunately, all of this leaves him in a vulnerable state. I once considered myself an independent, mostly because I didn't have enough information to make a personal choice. Well, I do now, and I think it's about time to let loose that tree-hugging liberal in me that I suppose has just been dying to come out. Let there be choice, homosexual marriage, and marijuana, yay!

Love,
K.

Falling...

I'm really enjoying my summer here in Dayton. I don't really know what I'm going to do when I have to return to DC. I miss those kids immensely, mind you.. I just know a few there that I would really rather than have to see (at all), and a few here that I'd like to see all the time.
I went to David's graduation today-- received the best message ever... so wonderful. Three best speeches of all time: Andrew Arnett, Brian Ford, and David Weissman.
Then Kyle's grad party. Met his family. What? Me? Nervous? YES. They were wonderful. Then went putt-putt golfing.
Sorry this is rather boring; my focus is deeeeefinitely elsewhere. And I don't feel like delving into it on this thing.

Love,
K.

{length:43}-{nightway}-{mr_false}-{cherita}-{goldy_kin}-{besyonya}-{alexej}-{ivand}-{ta_tochka}-{gosha}-{candelabra}-{nikon_nlg}-{dziro}-{ven_ture}-{xnrrn}-{allegroconmolto}-{soulscode}-{glassapples}-{_cee}-{shaenie}-{nasturtium}-{bunnybaggins}-{juvu}-{blueathena}-{wyldkyss}-{squidflakes}-{mrkamikaze}-{corwinok}-{waywardpixie}-{muelos} - {scarletserpent} - {damnitnicole} - {gothpoptart} - {dysphoric} - {amethyste} - {radiogun} - {lizard_breath} - {_meanreds} - {jealousofthesky} - {kid_for_today} - {tomydingo} - {jcandie} - {anath47} - {fiberglasvandal}

---

To join, enter your nickname and press the button. The sausage will post itself automatically.
You have to be logged in and have Javascript enabled.
created by nightway

username:

NOTE: I lied about the maximum number of songs to begin with, so now, I'm just going with what I have. No time limit. NO EXPLANATIONS ALLOWED. No particular order.

Yann Tiersen, "Monochrome"
The Magnetic Fields, "Absolutely Cuckoo"
Interpol, "Obstacle 2"
Skycycle, "Last Girl On Earth"
Grandaddy, "The Warming Sun"
Stephen Malkmus, "Phantasies"
Mazzy Star, "Fade Into You"
Elliott Smith, "Say Yes"
Maroon 5, "This Love"
Junior Senior, "Boy Meets Girl"
Kings of Convenience, "The Girl From Back Then"
Lemon Jelly, "Space Walk"
William Orbit's cover of Pietro Mascagni, "Cavalleria Rusticana"
Ben Folds Five, "Evaporated"
Braid, "Niagara"
Built to Spill, "Fly Around My Pretty Little Miss"
Cat Power, "He War"
Talking Heads, "Life During Wartime"
Echo and the Bunnymen, "The Killing Moon"
The Beatles, "Julia"
Moby, "Guitar Flute and String"
Modest Mouse, "Float On"
Q and Not U, "And the Washington Monument (Blinks) Goodnight"
Sigur Rós, "Svefn g englar"
Spoon, "Me and the Bean"
Tattle Tale, "Glass Vase Cello Case"
Wilco, "Pot Kettle Black"

HELP!
I need to take a razor on an airplane. It's a shaving razor.
What can I do to get it through the checkpoint?
I knooooow I shouldn't be saying this, but it's a dire situation! IT'S A GOOD RAZOR!

Love,
K.

I really fucking hate emo.
I mean, for the past few years, even though it was unfashionable, I would definitely admit to liking "emo" music.
But during the last weekend of DC, I went to the Plea for Peace tour... and left after the first band (Mike Park-- Decohedron then came on). Cursive was going to play later. Normally, I would have sat through those bands happily to see that genius Tim Kasher at work, but after a half hour, I just couldn't deal with it anymore. I feel so unwelcomed. The evil looks I get for having long blond hair, not that hep short black.. for wearing high heels, and they're NOT STILLETO... for wearing clothes without holes in them, or without some miniscule band reference... You know, I always knew it was a rather self-important scene, but I'm tired of feeling so shitty at shows just because I'm not the "typical hipster." Yeah, I watched the last Friends episode-- personally, I didn't think the most recent Bright Eyes album was his best-- and I work out so that I'm both healthy and have a better body than I would otherwise. So FUCK YOU, emo scene. I'm gonna go listen to Pavement and Junior Senior with a giant smile on my face.

In other news, I'm sick as a fucking dog. I went out to coffee with this kid I met when he was working at Hot Topic a few years ago-- I ran into him again there, and he asked me out to coffee. T'was lovely! Un tres kind kid. In the middle of the conversation, this guy that was sitting next to us said, "You two are artisans." Eh? "There are seven different kinds of people in the world... artisans, sages, kings, warriors, priests, servants, [and something else I can't think of right now]. You're definitely artisans." Then, he told us all about this Michael Handbook.. It sounds fairly cultish, I know, but honestly, twas so interesting!! It was basically everything I've ever thought to be true due to logic and psychology. Apparently, he gets together with these two kids every week to talk about it-- I'm going next week! Yay! ANYWAY, I was then going to go to Barnes and Noble, but got a call from the 'rents, so I figured I'd go home.. just as I arrived there, Mel called to ask me to hang out with HER at B&N.; So I went back out. On my way, I had this fiendish headache.. I left early to go to sleep earlier than usual. I woke up the next morning (yesterday) feeling like absolute SHITE. My entire body hurts. It felt better after I slept for many hours, but then I woke up again (8am this morning) and I'm still feeling like shite. I have to feel better, because I'm going to DC tomorrow. I'm sooo-oooo-oooooooooooooooo excited. Wooha!

That's it.

Love,
K.

PS. I'm in love with Hunter S. Thompson.

"Bush Says U.S. Will Persevere in Iraq."

I have never so truly wished to live in another country.

Get me out of here. Gah.

Love,
K.

I just took this test at Cool Tests for my "secret desire.."

Want to be loved (35-60 points)
K, you often feel wronged by others. What you would like most is to show others what you have to offer. You're often angry at yourself for adapting more to other people's will than you should.
But maybe you know why you really do this: your secret wish is to be loved by everybody and that's why you pretend to be nicer than you really are!

Well, that's not so secret. I tell people daily that my goal is to win over the entire world.
But it's also a major fault, and part of the reason that Adam and Julia dislike me so. Ah well.

Whooooooa. Andy Kaufman... alive??

Crrraaaazy.

Love,
K.

Today is the last day of classes.
I skipped the first one, haaa.
Art history. Oh well.
I was so motivated early on... Perhaps it was the rather boring stability I was facing at the time. Now, everything's up in the air, so I must devote the majority of my time to figuring it all out.
I went out for coffee with Alexander Livingston Wyles last night. By God! We had a conversation! Our first in one hell of awhile!
I'm going anti-dating this summer, just to let y'all know. When I say that, I mean, I'm focusing on ME. ME ME ME. It's all about me, quite literally! I feel like I've had to spend this year readjusting my life to everyone else's expectations, and I'm fucking done with it. I'm going to intern with the Kerry Campaign (Dad's helping organize it in Dayton), learn French, take some courses at Sinclair, travel. Many kids aren't coming home for summer. Blegh! (But I am going to steal Casey's couch in her studio in NY... Oh yes, I am..)
I think I will go to a movie this afternoon. Any ideas? "Mean Girls" anyone?

Love,
K.

So, here's how it is.
I convinced Stalker Boy that I'm a lesbian, and Julia's my girlfriend.

Someone finally took me up on my offer, what joy!

Love,
K.