The Wayback Machine - http://web.archive.org/web/20040610213510/http://www.livejournal.com:80/users/lovescrueljoke/
Hidden Within The White Noise [entries|friends|calendar]
eSteve

[ website | Y O I N K ! ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[06.04.04 x 08.38pm]
[ mood | good ]
[ music | Dios - Starting Five ]

This time its your fault...I called.

No excuses now.

I've been playing my guitar like crazy.

I've learned to play 2 Volta songs. So I guess I now know 5 of them.

I limit myself to how many lines I can type.

I don't want to see you.

I need to make some calls.

If you guys only could read all the shit I type then delete.
Itd be fucking awesome. Wait you can...nah fuck it.


Besides I'm into Dios so its fine.

[x]

Driving Session [06.03.04 x 09.29pm]
Had a nice time with Judith. Pizza.Driving.Pictures.Ghost.Ice Cream Sandwiches.

Got paid today...bought some Sambas...I have some black ones now.

I missed you today. Thanks for coming by!

I don't feel like writing anything.

Had a great convo with Kristine...it was short but the best I've had in a while. I smiled through the whole thing. She is such a great girl.
[x] ! [2]

I look back and smile. [05.31.04 x 01.15am]
[ mood | Monst3r ]

I've been talking to Julian a lot lately.We are going to hang out sometime soon. I enjoy talking to him and remember good old times. I thank him for clearing up some things of the past.

Let The Past Die

My stint in RGC was well worth it.

I'm ready to go back home.

[x]

An old pic I found of a great time I had with a great band. [05.29.04 x 11.38am]
eSteve - Yoink.
[x] ! [1]

Smile. [05.29.04 x 11.36am]
Jude and I
[x] ! [1]

[05.28.04 x 09.21pm]
I haven't done anything.

I miss you...god I miss you.
[x] ! [1]

[05.28.04 x 12.52am]
I'm in RGC.

I'm good...I had to get a away and see things from another angle. Its good to see old friend. I fucking love these guys.

I feel the same way you do.

I wish I could just go with my gut...and tell you exactly what I feel...god...I don't know why I am afraid.

Its only love...and that is all.

I wish it was just us.

...hits me like an unexpected punch to the face and makes my heart weight a thousand pounds.

Words flow freely in the wind and I am just.

I'll be in RGC for a few days.

I miss you guys already.

I'm here to get adjusted...and so I can catch up to myself.
I felt I lost a year...but I've done so much...met so many people etc...I'm catching up.

Remember to Wakeup
[x] ! [1]

[05.26.04 x 11.00am]
I Love
[x]

Sippin on Apple Juice. [05.26.04 x 10.24am]
Lots of work.

I've been at home enjoying my guitar..its good to have it back.

I also put a Gibson J-50 Acoustic Deluxe on lay-a-way. Can't wait to get that out.
Its an old guitar...a bit scruffy. There was something about it. It reminded me very much of my first guitar EVER.

I haven't written anything in a few days. I'm looking for inspiration.

You stood at my door and gave me a look...you looked so beautiful...I could see something in your eyes...you were going to tell me something...

I'm sorry I couldn't give you the time you deserved.

I don't blame you for being mad at me.

I think it was so unfair the way you reacted...and when I called. There was no need for that.

I...just want to be with you.

There is so much more I should say...and more that I want to say...but its hard to type this shit...I just want to see you.


*Turns off Light*
[x]

yee haw eeeeeeeeeee plaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ooooooooiiiiiiiiiiii !!! [05.14.04 x 02.23pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]
[ music | The Mars Volta - Televators ]

My name is steve, and im pretty fucked up.

I treat women like shit, and im confused.

I dont really know what i want, i dont think i have my love life figured out. I need to stop thinking about women, and just live.

Hmm,....what else. I think i might be a homosexual. The urge of penis is just overwhelming. mmmmmmm PENIS.

Well, lets .see. Im incredibly figity. Ok, im not. I touch vaginas for fun. Or should i say poke.. I need some loving. Lots of loving. Im lonely. I hate judith. and every other woman. anyone with a vagina. mmmmmm vaginas.

in other news. i have disappeared. so im running away. running away from anything ive ever known, and becoming a new me. should be fun. see you in the future.


-Judith




Everything is good at the moment.

I feel fine.

I'm a Motherfucker.

Images In Ink is 40% done. Hopefully have a Fall release.

[x]

You You You [04.27.04 x 03.07pm]
[ mood | calm ]
[ music | At The Drive In ]

To be honest...I've been really good lately.

I got promoted to cashier and I've been doing that...39hours last week. I'm trying to keep myself busy.

I performed a piece (Modus Operandi - The Mode of Fountion) it was my first ever spoken word....what a crowd...David told me there were about 400+ people...I was shaking...but I pulled it off. Thanks to all the people that gave me feedback and compliments. I hope to do more spoken word. I have a lot of pieces in the works. I'm thinking about maybe publishing something sometime soon. I've got it all worded out in my head.

"...She stutters upons the words I once spoke that could drip to fill a lake, only to be swallowed by an ocean to be frozen into glaciers and ponds so high that I could stand on and kiss the heavans."

Suicides Booths should be created and put on every street corner. If you don't wanna live anymore you jump into one of these. You choose your death and after you die your organs are donated. No more waiting lists. That way people that want to live now have that chance. If babies can be flushed down toilets legally why the fuck can't this happen. Write a letter to your congressman....hehe.

I can't seem to reach you anymore...I'm walking on egg shells and I hate it.

I just want to hold you. I just wanted to hold you.

I don't ask much of you...I'm going to stop calling. Whenever you feel like seeing me. Just knock on my door. Don't be afraid. I'll recieve you with open arms. I don't want to have to ask for your time...I want you to give it to me.

I miss so many things about you...

I was thinking the other day at work...of people I used to know and I wonder where they are now. For example Michelle Pena...I wonder what happend to her...If she is still with Yesi or if she is still alive etc...I wonder.

Scribble Scribble Scribble

[x] ! [8]

[04.08.04 x 11.51pm]
[ mood | content ]

I bought Saul William's " ,said the shotgun to the head"

AMAZING BOOK

It inspired me so much that I...started writing again.

Before I bought it I read half of it at Barnes and Noble. I went straight home and wrote...something that I have been wanting to put to words in months. I finally did.

Its a new start...something fresh.

I want to do spoken word...just as a hobby.

um...2 slaps and a punch around the world....hated it.

I smiled.

I don't miss you.

I still smell you...and hear and see the signs...but I'm ignoring them.

You fucked yourself.

Ice cream was damn good...lets do it again.

This thing about being friends "just friends" with the opposite sex is fucking awesome.

I've been working 8 hour shifts and doing 40 hours this week.
I'm working like a madman...promotion is so close...I can nibble on its nipple...:)

I bought a new small pink notebook and 2 pens.

Like I said...I'm starting over.

Things are pretty fucking great right now.

I feel good.

...its is on the other spectrum...not wanting anything and just being satisfied with what you have...just being blissful...for no reason.

After the fire comes the rain.

I'm putting the music thing on hold. I'm not making it a big priority right now...I still want it...but I need to take it easy and just let it flow.

A lot of things seem so wrong...I'm glad I can spot it.

Brb...i'M Sure.

[x] ! [1]

you wish you knew. [04.03.04 x 05.01pm]
[ mood | groggy ]
[ music | The Mars Volta. ]

Working 40hrs this week.

I'm fine.

I could go days without seeing you.

or maybe not.

Still writing.

Comment if you like.

Yeah.

[x] ! [2]

...in the spotless mind. [03.20.04 x 07.52pm]
[ mood | indescribable ]

great movie

I remember our conversations under the covers.

If I knew this would have happened I still would have given you the coupon.

"I'm going to get tired of you and I'm going to leave you because thats the way I am and thats what happens"

"I'm not a concept. I am a fucked up girl looking for my own piece of mind...so don't think I can save you or rescue you"

"For a while I really thought you could, and you did... for a while."

I don't know how to feel.

I just miss you a million times more.

I don't know what to say.

I can't sleep in my bed.

Mascara on my pillow and your scent in the covers...*sigh*

I remember the day you came back home and you surprised me...I remember the moment I saw you...I ran through the door and tripped...I got up quickly and held you.

Moments frozen in time and accessed on command of a feeling.

I remember trying to wink.

I remember your eyes in the soft glow of a candle.

I remember...everything.

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd;
Labour and rest, that equal periods keep;
"Obedient slumbers that can wake and weep;

-"Eloisa to Abelard" by Alexander Pope






"Quotes from the movie."

[x] ! [1]

Living in the ghetto...Viviendo en el..... [03.19.04 x 07.53pm]
I kept walking because I've been here before.


The new songs are coming in just fine...it has to be some of the best work I've done.


I'll brb
[x]

Cue the Curtain. [03.18.04 x 07.48pm]
[ mood | indescribable ]
[ music | .td - last word in a notebook rebellion ]

Ha.

I didn't look different...it was you...your eyes changed.

breakfast,movie,sleep...

I've been writting a lot of new material as of late...its just coming out of me...and its fucking good as well.

expect a surprise.

Is it better?

no,not really. I did my part...did my job...I did it well.

I write it before it happens.

I've written the future already.

I really wanted to go to New York.

Unfortunately, I Love You.

So now...I'm back to work...music and candles.

having you in my life was fucking great.

Call me when you find yourself.














I didn't want this to end like the way it did.







check,pizza,simpsons,nap,type.


I have too much to say and this entry won't do it justice.

[x]

Each Year [03.13.04 x 10.51pm]
[ mood | blank ]
[ music | Mario 2 ]

Counting the days until you return.

7

I'm fine.

The usual and so much more.

I'm so tired I can't sleep.

[x]

whatdoyouwanttohear [03.09.04 x 12.22am]
[ mood | restless ]
[ music | Television. ]

I miss you...that is all I can say...I fucking miss you.

Work...Sucks.

Modus Operandi is now a studio band.

I'm getting a promotion soon. Mo money!

Little by little...day by day...I am beginning to see.

Around my neck.

Your mad at me and it's ok...I Love You...PJO :)

Do you recall.

...For You.


You.

fill me whole...

I'll be here waiting.

I love holding you.

It is nice.

I fall for the fantasies. You are a reality. I'll be here when you get back.

Let Paris Burn.

[x] ! [1]

writing on my hand. [02.20.04 x 01.19am]
[ mood | optimistic ]

Spending time with you is enough.

Your so great...so beautiful.

Everything...remember?

I'll see you soon.

Sweet Dreams Judith.

[x]

Auto-Tune [02.16.04 x 12.51pm]
[ mood | calm ]
[ music | Sci-Fi ]

I don't think I can top the last post.

I do stupid things...and its funny.

Taxi Driver...you go crazy...then...BAM!...your back to normal.

I feel good.

I know this will last a while...so...yeah.

I got a handful of quaters.

See you around...or whatever.

lol.

Always with the humor...Don't you get it?

[x] ! [1]

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]