Linds' Journal [entries|friends|calendar] Linds [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[09 Feb 2002|01:08am] [ music | Guns And Roses - Dont Cry ] My sister Alcoholic888: hey Me PenguinishOne: hi ( fuck.. ) 6 comments|post comment

[14 Jan 2002|01:20am] Mmmm. New user pics--three of them. Mmmmm Mike Ness. 6 comments|post comment

[09 Jan 2002|03:38pm] Tonight we are having a New Years eve party. Part two of course. At the Thirsty Scholar. Priming it up here, of course. (shit--allie just bit my shoulder) Contrary to her journal--i missed her not at all. So it's ladyskank, kelly082, punktigress, flyonwall, bryn so far. Anyone else up for hanging out this evening? Alcoholic practices commence at exactly 7:18. Be here or be square. BEX BEX BEX. Contact me if you can!!! And if you read this!! 3 comments|post comment

[28 Dec 2001|01:21am] http://www.virtue.nu/razzhallfame/maureen.gif Got that from a friends journal...hahaha! :D 17 comments|post comment

[21 Dec 2001|01:31pm] I want to watch It's a Wonderful Life tonight when i get home. Or maybe i'll watch it with my grandma. 3 comments|post comment

[21 Dec 2001|11:10am] Really don't want to go back to corunna today... I took lots of pictures this week. About 200, i'd guess. Mostly cats. But there's one of bryan that i took that i love...he'd just finished shaving (finally!)and he looks so vulnerable in it... So now i'm making a cd for myself. Yay. ... I love being with B...but i HATE missing him so much. He tells me not to, but i can't help it :/ 2 comments|post comment

[14 Dec 2001|04:31am] oh. and i shaved my legs, too. i'm such a girl :/ my legs feel so naked. And i smell really nice. 7 comments|post comment

[06 Dec 2001|05:00pm] My journal is friends only, now. Please comment here if you want me to add you--i'll add most everyone!. 22 comments|post comment

[04 Dec 2001|11:15pm] bryn is having a hard time figuring out what "counting heads" means. I have no clue, either :) Heh... I'm actually sleepy for a change. WTF is up with THIS!? 2 comments|post comment

[24 Nov 2001|07:32pm] Poll #10990 Open to: All, results viewable to: All Friends list: Add you, drop you, or keep you? View Answers Add me! 11 (22.4%) Keep me! 34 (69.4%) Drop me! 4 (8.2%) 3 comments|post comment

You know that frog from the simpsons...? [16 Nov 2001|01:13am] I want the puking frog from the simpsons. Bryan, Mel, Kelly, and Allie all know how fucking hard I laugh over this. And Smithers eating Mr. Burns at the very end =) I love that. I laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed. I lost my sanity. Bye bye. Oh how I wish I could find a picture of that frog. Here is my Mel and her Adam (Adamn) Me and my Mel My roommate. Allie. And me. I scared. She licked me. Sam usually doesn't even look this dumb when he's drunk. *sighs* Sam likes kisses from Lindsays Bryan likes cuddles. That's why he looks cranky. Allie and I Sam ALMOST looking decent. Not quite though. I took pictures while Bryan was passed out. Penguin LIKES Rum and Coke Allie and Steve This is what happens when Bryan drinks too much, passes out, and leaves me his camera. Bug boy. AKA Soccer mom. Or just mom. Or "Kelly's bitch". Or Trevor. Sleepy bryan! Look, it's a bored Linds with BROWN hair! Sleepy boy! 9 comments|post comment

Un ban request! [14 Nov 2001|02:13am] warned on 5-29 for flaming posts and signature. warned on 11-3 for signature. does this ring a bell? "Fuck fascism. Fuck bannings. Fuck Chickclick." and strike three for you was this post: "Chung kicks your lame ass." bye now! HAHAHAHAHH! I can understand the first two. Bu the third? What the FUCK!? Whatever. 23 comments|post comment

[16 Oct 2001|02:00am] [ mood | geeky ] [ music | Dave Matthews Band- Listener Supported - #40 ] Today was quite boring... Nothing exciting happened. My finger hurts, I cut it. Ouch. My toes are cold and I wonder why I'm not wearing my sweater anymore. I was wearing it when I had a nap...woke up without it on. Well. I think it's time for bed. Told myself I'd be in bed by one...mel gave me shit for being up at one thirty =) Time for bed. Maybe I'll get up at a decent time tomorrow...hahah. 2 comments|post comment

Moving on... [31 Aug 2001|12:25am] In two days, I leave the familiar things behind. Starting things all over again. A new journey of self-discovery, though I doubt that the person I find that I am will be much different from who I am now, if that makes any sense. I've known my opinions, my beliefs, for a long time now, and that someone loves me, and loves my beliefs and whatnot, as well, makes it all the better. Who other than Allie could I want to start things over with? She's known me for years, known me well for a year. We're both grasping for something... I leave rod behind. And Adam. God i'll miss them. Friends that I just made this year... Adam, who has seen me through five years of shit...five years of a constantly changing personality. I even look different. If you knew me four years ago, you would not recognize me today. I have no attachment to my appearance. I am what i want to be. And on sunday...I start over again in a new town, with my best friend. I'll miss the old, though. 5 comments|post comment

For awhile i was home... [31 Aug 2001|12:10am] Saturday night/sunday morning A glimpse of what life could be like. A glimpse of what life WILL be like. Someday... Sleeping in our bed. Looking up at his face...eyes shadowed by long eyelashes that feel so nice when he blinks and brushes them against my skin. Lips so defined, so warm, so tempting. I never want to wake him. And never want to fall asleep without him. 1 comment|post comment

[30 Aug 2001|09:20am] Why are things so perfect when he's beside me. Why is it so incredible to just lay beside him while he's sleeping and watch his chest rise and fall. To lay beside him, on my side, while he lays on his back, with my leg drawn up across his, my arm across his chest, and his arm under my neck. You know, "forever" just may happen. Do yourselves a favour today, boys and girls. Don't think twice about what others think of you. Walk proud, and don't feel that you need to account for your actions. Fall in love. Be yourself, even if you don't know who that is yet. Learn something new about yourself. Send someone an email, send someone a card. Tell someone that you love them. Don't fight today. Walk away from an argument. Lay in the grass and feel the sun against your skin. Drink a glass of water. DON'T read the fashion pages of the newspaper, don't let the media dictate to you what you would look good in. Eat a mango. Be naked. Don't look in the mirror unless it's to admire yourself. Read a book. A good book. Be completely self indulgent, and stay in bed. Make love. Listen to beautiful music. Now go do something for yourself. 4 comments|post comment

Him... [29 Aug 2001|09:02pm] He makes me so happy. 7 comments|post comment

[29 Aug 2001|08:32am] I know, my journal has been SO fucking boring, lately. Oh well :) I talked to both of my grandmothers last night. They both used to self injure when they were younger. I had NO idea. 1 comment|post comment

*yawns* [22 Aug 2001|11:37pm] I have to be up early to go to the doctors...and then to get some more stuff for school. My journal has been soooo boring lately. I've had nothing interesting to say, other than general moping about school. Damn. Got a call from his mommy tonight, he's okay. Good gods, it's almost twelve. I should get to bed soon... But I won't. post comment

Sun will shine... [22 Aug 2001|04:06pm] Yikes! All of a sudden...I realize what Allie's realized for quite awhile. The whole moving out thing...going away to school...shopping for stuff that I've never really had to shop for before. And I'm getting scared. 1 comment|post comment

[21 Aug 2001|11:11am] I have a headache. I feel better than i thought i would. 2 comments|post comment

[21 Aug 2001|11:11am] I have a headache. I feel better than i thought i would. post comment

[21 Aug 2001|02:25am] [ mood | Sad... ] B-Wolf: (1:39 AM) hey LoverLayDown: (1:39 AM) hi. shouldn't you be asleep? B-Wolf: (1:40 AM) probably but i can't LoverLayDown: (1:40 AM) how come? B-Wolf: (1:41 AM) too upset LoverLayDown: (1:41 AM) about what!? B-Wolf: (1:43 AM) the fact that i leave in less than 5 hours...and I won't be back till christmas and i'm scared as hell LoverLayDown: (1:43 AM) Don't be scared...you'll be fine. B-Wolf: (1:45 AM) i'm not sure if i want to leave anymore LoverLayDown: (1:45 AM) Brad...you don't have much of a choice anymore :) B-Wolf: (1:48 AM) i know i'll be ok if i could stop cring LoverLayDown: (1:48 AM) You're crying? You'll be fine, Brad... B-Wolf: (1:50 AM) i have been thinking and it might be best if i don't call you LoverLayDown: (1:50 AM) OKay.. B-Wolf: (1:52 AM) but i don't want you to hate me either LoverLayDown: (1:52 AM) Its' okay.. B-Wolf: (1:53 AM) r you sure LoverLayDown: (1:54 AM) Things between us don't really matter anymore.. B-Wolf: (1:55 AM) they fucking do to me ok... so stop saying that LoverLayDown: (1:56 AM) B-Wolf: (1:58 AM) i am settled i just had to get my point acroos by throwing language in there LoverLayDown: (1:59 AM) You have thrown plenty of "language" in. You point is still the same. B-Wolf: (2:00 AM) it sounds better LoverLayDown: (2:00 AM) sure it does.. B-Wolf: (2:02 AM) your so lucky you know you want to leave LoverLayDown: (2:03 AM) So...I'm lucky that I want to get the hell out of here? It's still scary...but I really don't have much to miss. B-Wolf: (2:04 AM) its the little things that got to me, like this could be the last time i ever see lucky LoverLayDown: (2:06 AM) More than likely not.. B-Wolf: (2:07 AM) lindsay can i give you some advice LoverLayDown: (2:08 AM) What. B-Wolf: (2:09 AM) try to look at things from the positive side LoverLayDown: (2:09 AM) You're telling ME that? B-Wolf: (2:10 AM) yeah got a prob with that (laugh) LoverLayDown: (2:11 AM) actually, I do LoverLayDown: (2:11 AM) I'm the one being positive about university. B-Wolf: (2:12 AM) it sounds to me like your being more negative about your home LoverLayDown: (2:13 AM) I'd rather be negative about the past than negative about the future, so THERE! B-Wolf: (2:13 AM) and what about the present LoverLayDown: (2:13 AM) Neutral B-Wolf: (2:14 AM) what are you switzerland LoverLayDown: (2:14 AM) Not quite. LoverLayDown: (2:15 AM) I'm sitting here, eating sunflower seeds, drinking green tea, and eating peaches while reading through old emails and journal entries. I'm not tired, I'm not awake. I'm neutral. B-Wolf: (2:17 AM) interesting half of me wants to call you to attempt to become friends again the other half thinks i should just leave LoverLayDown: (2:17 AM) Hmmm. Multiple personality disorder can be controlled with meds, silly :-p B-Wolf: (2:19 AM) yeah well i guess this is finally it for a while please take care of yourself (that should be a lot easier with me gone) bye lindsay LoverLayDown: (2:19 AM) Okay. LoverLayDown: (2:19 AM) Don't say things like that. LoverLayDown: (2:19 AM) Don't leave being all cranky B-Wolf: (2:22 AM) i'm not cranky i want you to be happy and having me causing problems does more harm then good LoverLayDown: (2:22 AM) You don't "cause problems". Relationships--FRIENDships have problems. LoverLayDown: (2:22 AM) I want you to be happy too, believe it or not. B-Wolf: (2:23 AM) thanx it means a lot bye LoverLayDown: (2:23 AM) alright...Good luck...goodbye. LoverLayDown: (2:23 AM) *waves* B-Wolf: (2:24 AM) :-) good luck to you too and bye i know you'll be successful *waves back* post comment

Fall back again... [20 Aug 2001|11:30pm] God...I don't even know what to think of the whole deal with brad. I hate that we'll be so far away, still fighting. I just want closure, or something. I spoke with him on the phone for over two hours tonight, he was all but ready to come over here to talk face to face. I managed to convince him not to...that all we'd do is try harder to hurt each other, try harder to knock each other down with insults. I try to be light hearted talking to him, try to be calm, try to be cool. So cool, no emotions showing. Such a lie. He said he'd call tomorrow morning...that he'd wake me up at six in the morning. Though I don't want to be woken up that early...I think that if we speak again, things could clear up a little bit. He says that if I ever need to talk about any problems, whatever...he's always there for me. True enough, that's been proven. What if HE is the problem? When Allie and Brad met up with Pat and I--and brad and I left to "talk" I couldn't help but cry. Even his drunken nonsense hurts my feelings. Maybe because he knows me so well, he knows exactly what insults to throw out in order to break me. Anyways. We'll see how things go tomorrow, I guess. Not much else I can do. Allie and I went out for lunch today...MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmm. Excellent food. Excellent dessert. REALLY annoying waitress. And we went to Josh's grad party, yesterday. Heheh...so many people, so few that I actually knew. :) 14 comments|post comment

[20 Aug 2001|06:16pm] Fuck. Why does this whole deal with Brad upset me so much? 1 comment|post comment

My response to his emails. [20 Aug 2001|03:08pm] "Please. What part of "leave me the hell alone" aren't you understanding?" 4 comments|post comment

Another email from Brad... [20 Aug 2001|03:07pm] Hey lindz i'm sorry that i acted so jealous i have been thinking about this, and i really don't want our friendship to end because of it. if i don't end up talking to you again, i wish you the best of luck in university and whatever else in life you choose to do. i'll always remember you Brad post comment

Email from Brad... [20 Aug 2001|03:05pm] hey whats up lindz i'm sorry for the things that happened between us at my party last night. i'm glad that you were having a good time, but i guess i was a little jealous, regardless of whether or not you were trying to make me jealous. i hope you still consider me a friend, and it was good to see you. remember, i will still always be there for you if you need me!!! talk to you later The one and only Bradley Christopher S**** post comment

Wheeee! [18 Aug 2001|06:18pm] Going with the Allster (All star, eh?) to brad's party tonight. Fucking hope I don't kill him--he's so hard core on being HONEST but he tells the biggest lies of them all. Crashing at her place this evening, and perhaps tomorrow evening as well. I miss my allie. I'm living with her in two weeks, though. :) Wish me luck, to not scratch brad's eyeballs out :) 4 comments|post comment

Take these stars..from my crown.. [18 Aug 2001|04:06pm] I feel like kicking something...punching something. I'm not sure why, though. I think i actually enjoy inflicting pain on my own body. Actually, I know that I do. Being physically active works to an extent--exercise to the point of extreme pain. post comment

Becoming one in a million.. [18 Aug 2001|01:25pm] [ music | DMB, Christmas song. ] I don't know why I let Brad piss me off. too bad I actually like his friends. Too bad I hadn't really met them until this summer. One of the guys, I went to school with til grade three. I had a crush on him when I was really little. Anyways. I've been talking to him on icq since before I even started going out with Brad..and that was kinda sorta January 99...And I JUST "met" him at the beginning of the summer. I don't like that I intimidate his friends. My dad's secretary was telling Mike and I the "uses" for tongue rings. She's about 50 years old. Mike and I reaaaaalllllly didn't want to hear about it. Ugh. Blech! Pat's coming home soon...I've actually missed the guy. My best friend for 11 years, the one that I always called to come over at four in the morning, the one that sat with me on my front porch, always, everyweekend until morning...He always hated being in my house because he doesn't get along with my brothers :P Then we started dating. Sept. 98. Pretty quickly after Trev and I broke up. And then Pat...always Pat, now, never Patrick anymonre...and I broke up and I started seeing brad a week afterwards and then brad and I broke up and I was with Bryan that same day. Hmph. So after Pat and I broke up, things went to hell. He lives...lived across the street from me and I don't think I saw him again before he left for university. Mean icq messages, mean phone calls. *sighs* Anyways. We've kind of built up some kind of a friendship, thanks to ICQ. HOpefully we don't fight when I see him again soon... I don't think I NEED to be in a relationship. With Bry, my life is better with him in it, but it wouldn't be HORRIBLE without him...had I never met him, I would have probably been quite happy to be single again, seeing as I haven't done that in almost four years. With a few dates with other guys and girls thrown in there. RandySarahDanielDaytonMatthewJoeAnthony. Anthony. I haven't seen him in so long. Joe...Ugh, Joe. I don't even want to see him again. Dayton is in Sarnia this weekend will I see him? Likely not. As much as I miss him, as much as what he did for me has made my life better...I don't know if I can deal with the kind of baggage our friendship had. How could I ever be with him? Our parents plotting how many kids we'd have, much like Bev and Chris over Brad and Jessica. Brad...looks like his father, truly his mothers son, no matter how much he pretends to hate her and what she stands for. I saw his grandma and grandpa again the other night, his grandma hugged me and asked me over for Thanksgiving dinner. I actually missed them. And Kaylie and Tanya and Sam. And his cousins from texas. And bob, linda, and bill, his aunt and uncles. Hmmmm. Anyways. I ramble, too much, too often. Far too often. Matthew. I'll probably never see him again. Pictures of use taken together that last week of school, the first time I stood next to him in over three years. Since that summer that I was 15 and I wasn't concerned with what anyone thought of me and I didn't care if I had a boyfriend and I didn't care that Trev cheated on me at any given chance. I liked Trev's family, too. Nicole and Brandie I still talk to. Nicole really turned out to be incredibly beautiful. Who would have known, from the quiet insecure girl that I knew four years ago. I think I miss my friends from then. The friendships that took no maintanence and the friendships with people that would backstab as often as they pleased. Fucking hell. So, in just over two weeks, a new part of my life starts. I'm almost glad that I'm paying all my expenses for the first year, at least. More independence, I don't exactly have to answer to my parents or feel any obligations towards them "Just because they're paying for my education". When they asked for permission to see my grades, I could tell them no and not feel bad at all. I associate different music and tastes with certain times of my life. The music has been Dave matthews band, the taste, raspberries. And frozen yogurt. A new kind everytime, right? Speaking of which, off i go to get some. post comment

I'm so... [16 Aug 2001|01:00pm] [ mood | lonely ] [ music | Rachel talking... ] Tired, bored with my life, anxious, lonely, sick of being "cute", sick of being used, of being lied to. 9 comments|post comment

Hmm [15 Aug 2001|01:26am] I'm getting kinda bored with being called "cute" all the time. Man, when I'm with Brad for one night, I've got him using all kinds of childish words :) He says the dumbest things--"Such a big couch, so little of me :( " because I wouldn't sit on the same couch as him. His friends are intimidated by me, which makes me sad, because they're really nice people. I would have liked to have been better friends with them. So we took Brad's dog, Lucky, over to Ian's house to swim in the lake. Yay, but the dog is ANCIENT. Poor thing! And that was basically my night. It involved watching people play video games and eating ice cream. Interestingly enough, I will miss Brad. One week til Bry's here :) :) :) post comment

Rawr! [14 Aug 2001|09:12am] God, I'm tired :) I actually got a decent amount of sleep. My brother is oh-so charming when it comes to his girlfriend. Such a dork. Goddammit. Paying for first semester, today. *yay* So blood tests will be done tomorrow, I suppose. *shrugs* *falls asleep* post comment

Awww :) [13 Aug 2001|07:24pm] [ mood | Grr. I'm THRILLED. ] [ music | Tracksuit--Campfire Song :) ] So there's this cat, that always hangs around my backyard. It's really dirty and ugly and mean. Anyways. It's actually starting to look like a CAT again, instead of a nasty ball of matted fur that bites (ask Bryan) and scratches and hisses. And it's being nice to me! I went out and sat in my backyard, and the cat actually cuddled with me! Awww :) 3 comments|post comment

Ack! Vampires! [12 Aug 2001|08:26pm] Heh. So...tomorrow, I have to go back to the doctors and have my blood tested for nine different things. Wheee. And I get to have an EKG. Yay. That's my thrilling news for the day. Ask me Questions, too! 5 comments|post comment

[12 Aug 2001|07:12pm] Wallet: One that I stole from my grandpa :) Hair brush: Conair round brush. Toothbrush: It's blue and white and made by colgate. Jewelry worn daily: None! Pillow cover: Navy blue. White. Blanket: Colorful afghan that my grandmother made for me...violet one...and red one. Coffee cup: burgandy...it's really big :) Sunglasses: Hehe. Blue ones. Bry's sunglasses :) I'm so evil ;) Underwear: I'm obsessed with pretty underwear but I don't like to wear it. Shoes: strappy sandals Nailpolish: Black with sparkles! Keychain: One that has a canadian flag Favourite top: Black and red mesh one. Favourite pants: Velvet, modrobes.. Shampoo Conditioner: The kind in the green bottle. It's new? Soap: Dove. Perfume: I don't wear it CD in the stereo right now: Luther College, disc 2. Television: ? Don't watch it :) Stereo: It's upstairs. thrilling, eh? 2 comments|post comment

Grrr [12 Aug 2001|07:06am] I'm pretty sure that i need more than one hour of sleep a night. Just a guess. post comment

I think I'm going to be ill [12 Aug 2001|12:21am] So sad... *sighs* Things like this upset me. 4 comments|post comment

Blargh! [11 Aug 2001|09:46pm] *sighs* I've got a headache and I've eaten one raisin too many. Raisins are evil, don't you think? I wish that my mother wouldn't drink. 1 comment|post comment

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