salt's Journal

Time:

7:30 pm.

i can't believe it's finished, 7 weeks done and finally a break, i'm practically dying for it. yesterday was beatliful, went to rowing, got back home and then headout out to oriel for breakfast with liz, lise, julie, anna, nicola, jec and steve. went back to steves before uni and then drove back in for my soil science lecture and lab, which only took about 40 minutes. ended up at the tav with katie, james, glenn and bec and after a while bec left, rob rocked up and sal came and sat down for a while. drank too much tooheys old to be able to drive home, so steve came about 5 and he took me home so i had a shower and got changed and then we stopped off back at his house and headed over to the witch's for dinner. by this stage i was quite pissy and still full, so large amounts of rich expensive food wasn't looking as appealling as it could have, but it was all beautiful and a really good night. we shared the bottle of settlers ridge he bought in cowaramup and i finally got to taste the garlic prawns. yes, they are pretty good. tuesday was spent finishing my english essaym going to uni about 3:30 to do some research to my respiration lab report due in on wednesday (hence missing my soil science and anthrop lectures) and going back home about 5:30 to do those reports. i have since found out the respiration experiment showed all the wrong results, so my hypothesis was wrong =) meh. monday was good, didn't go to rowing due to exhaustion and spent the night writing my essay.
i'm 20. that is so old...two entire decades, however significant that definition is. i've had such a charmed life, how is this?
mum and dad and kate are going down to denmark on sunday, i'm having a breakfast on sunday morning for the crew, mostly a birthday thing, with champagne =)

(find another way out)

Time:

9:23 am.

monday morning, 14th of april, it has been a while, there have been many more important things to do unfortunately.
saturday night was the dys fish cd launch at the rosemount, it went off. the schemes were a really good surprise, i wish they has a cd coming out cause they were wicked.
the boys played really well, glenn got his daks off for a change, and we were all very wet from having walked from james' house in the rain.
we got a lift back with dave and just had a pretty cruisy night.
i got up earlier this morning than i needed to and i think it's showing...
went upstairs to go to sleep at about 4:30, woke up again after 10 and came home to to more work on my essay, due in tomorrow, worth 40% and nowhere near good enough yet.
i have to get petrol on the way to uni, it's raining again. we had so much rain on friday night it was fantastic, although not in combination with the fcat that me and steve were going to catch the train to see morcheeba. i still barrack for the idea of a train station in northbridge. so he drove instead, and i left my car under his carport because otherwise my car would have flooded. (it is no longer water proof, wtare drips through in between the ceiling and the windscreen.a quote to fix it was $10 less than what i pad for it, so looks like it'll be some gaffa tape.) morcheeba were awesome. their support act little birdy weren't very well chosen, and the lead singer had a rather irritating voice, but i guess they were ok. in the pines was yesterday and i didn't go...it was also the first regatta yesterday which i also didn't attend, along with rowing this morning. i am very naughty this season. back to morcheeba. sky was amasing, what a voice. she had shaved her head and wore a cool skirt and can dance =)
we had coffee at dome beforehand because the doors didn't open until 8. i had forgotten about the state of the black pants that mum bought me from sydney, they don't stay up. standing around is fine, but if you walk or run or sit down: tragedy.
last week was nothing spectacular. i worked the late shift on saturday and the same on firday. on thursday i lost the plot a bit due to lack of sleep, and didn't go to coffee and missed out on transcendental news. i have since been filled in.
shit i have to go
tooroo

(1 escape route | find another way out)

Time:

6:54 pm.

yo and wassup bruvver
rowing this morning was at last a success. the water was good, it wasn't raining and we had ten people. went to my tute at 9 which was boring. bloody thoreau, he seems to take it out of people. i couldn't be arsed anyway. my tute next week, on bliss. i got it from gail finally today, and i think it's due back tomorrow but i'll take it back on monday and explain. it was a bit warmer today, lately it's been jumper on-jumper off weather. my wpp lab today went pretty well, finished reasonably on time. anthrop was tedious, god those lectures shit me. have got assignment 2 due on monday at 5, on rites of passage. i think i'll do my trip to canada, as a change of location can be seen as a rite of passage. i'll use quotes from nisa and probably the reader has got some relevent stuff in it as well, even just for definitions. it's only 500 words, will start it tonight i think and also do notes on bliss. i should really try and fit in some time to study for my science units but at the moment am swanning along in ignorance. that frigging lab yesterday was a bloody joke. we hadn't covered the concept in lectures yet and had to answer questi0ons on the lab, due in at the end. i was pissed off and somewhat frazzled by 5pm yesterday. i really regret selling my biol 101 book, i could have used it so much this year. i even went to buy plants in action (a recommended book for wpp201 this year) but they'd sold out. haven't even been able to get hold of it at the library to know whether it's worth it or not. after all it's about $145 from memory.
i've got back to pulling out my hair, this failing makes my angry. it's also distracting.
and we're having leftover shepard's pie for dinner which i don't really like.in addition to that, steven's given me his cold, so i just took a first lot of echinacea so hopefully that will combat it. i detest getting sick.
saw lauren at uni today and was rather frosty. she didn't call me back last week when i left a message with her flatmate when she'd gone to the library, despite the fact that i'd seen her at uni and she'd said coffee was on. and also said today that she'd call tonight and thus far hasn't. i don't think she remembers the meaning of the words. it just pisses me off when i depend on these times to see her and nic and ash, and often she insists that we keep her sane, and she loves thursday nights but so easily blows them off when it comes down to the actual attendance. i think i've headed off on a rant so i'll end bitching to myself and move on. i shouldn't really let this get to me, i guess it's her loss. i'm working 11 till close tomorrow (hey there might be some new people working) and hopefully going to michi's mum's exhibition in freo tomorrow night. i missed out on going to the tav last week, instead me and katie and her crew ended up going to the paddo, then the knutsford which was closed and finally ending up at rosies in freo, resulting in me and dave going to subway on the way home only to realise i still had katie's keys in my bag so we went back and katie took me home. i can't remember when i last wrote anything here so hopefully i'm not repeating myself. worked on saturday, went home and talked to baz a few times, picked him up at about 7:15 and we headed up to belvoir for MASSIVE ATTACK. fantastic and amasing doesn't even start. they played so much great stuff from mezzanine and blue lines and tidbits from their new one 100th window, i was expecting it to be all new stuff but they fucking rocked. changed vocalists almost every song and just the range, and the visuals, the atmosphere was great, crowd was generally chilled out and friendly, space between everyone and it only sprinkled with rain a couple of times. ended at about 11:15 and took a little while to get out of the field. while we were waiting to get out a guy from the car behind ran up and asked me what a wahtree was =) champion. me and baz got soup from alfreds in midland afterwards which burnt off the roof of my mouth. after i dropped hom home i went to steves, picked him up from work and we went to his parents for lunch on sunday, they joke and complain he sees my parents more than he sees them. it is partly true, he comes over to dinner when he has the night off work and we are eating something he will consume. ma and pa have gone to drop off a new mattress for the flat and i'm going to eat leftover ratattoullie (don't say anything) which i made last night. bollocks i'm sneezing.

(1 escape route | find another way out)

Time:

9:58 pm.

i feel so tired. i forgot i got up at 5:35am to go to rowing. however once there at 6 we saw that the water was horrible and spent the next hour or so playing fooseball, first waiting for jen to arrive, and then just killing time. went back to liz's to have a shower and eat half a chocolate croissant and some turkish bread for breakfast and drive back to uni where (shock horror) i actually got a parking space in the shade. this was at 8. i also neglected to consider that it takes 10 minutes minimum to walk from the boat club carpark to the ag labs to meet julie so we could finish off our labs from wednesday arvo. having done this, tootled off to my english tute which was sort of convoluted and a rather extended two hours. blah blah.
saw lise on arts lawn and bought some lunch and wandered over to the river to consume it when steve also joined us and proffered old gold chocolate. i was almost last for my anthrop lecture in which we watched a video on a tribe in africa: nigeria? botswana? i have read several case studies over the last few days, i don't intend to sound unappreciative. a few interesting quotes ensued.
then went to whole plant physiol lab, didn't know where G18 was and only just after 1 did i find it in botany. was by myself so the lecturer helped me. very good tactic that one, nice bloke. finished the last hour in ag lab B (familiar territory again) with more fruitless drawing of petioles and midribs and reticulate venation and epidermi(ses). great artistic talent here. and this lecturer informed me in a rather concerned tone that the scale of my drawing from a slide WAS important when i questioned it. i don't care enough obviously.
and it's been hunkydory therein. no coffee tonight because lauren's memory is apparently deficient and nicola has two articles to finish by tomorrow. all i have to do is go to work for 8 hours which seems superbly obligation-free in comparison to other pusuits ie. attending uni.
i have accepted the fcat that i'll be going to massive attack on my own, and this now doesn't really worry me. i don't know what i'll do about transport, seeing as it's at frigging belvoir again. as wicked as the atmosphere will be, if it's thundering and rainy i'm picturing a muddy hole in which i will freeze and be unhappy. anyway i'll see how i go. maybe i'll get my dedicated boyfriend to pick me up from subi train station seeing as i'm going to his parents' on sunday. genevieve maynard is playing at the tav tomorrow so i'd love to head over after work, but haven't heard of any other plans. moby is playing, but i chose ben harper and massive attack and morcheeba over him. i had to cut someone out. my poor sad bank balance.
filled in centrelink form tonight in a vain attempt. i know they won't give me any money but it's worth a try. we won't get it. i don't know why i'm bothering.
the news is all sad. there was a rally organised in forrest place tonight, but as much as i'd love to go and show my support, i don't see the point. if no-one in power has taken any notice of the public's opinion by now, what makes anyone think they'll start after they've committed troops and bombing has started? i feel so helpless.

(find another way out)

Time:

9:39 am.

A young woman in Vancouver was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier, crying.
He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much to live for. I'm off to Hawaii in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship.
I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day." Moving closer, he slipped his arm round her shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy."
The girl nodded yes. After all, what did she have to lose? Perhaps a fresh start in Hawaii would give her life new meaning.
That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat.
From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.
Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the Captain.
"What are you doing here?" the Captain asked.
"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained.
"I get food and a trip to Hawaii, and he's screwing me."
"He certainly is," the Captain said. "This is the Nanaimo Ferry."

(find another way out)

Time:	9:08 pm.
Mood:	complacent.
Music:	baby elephant walk.

have done as much os my first anthrop assignment as i can for tonight. the rest involves lots of photocopying tomorrow.
also i have to sort out my hecs thing, which seems confusing. obviously uni admin did not check to see that what i paid at the post office was $60 more than i was meant to, the $60 late fee that was for them. anyway hopefully everything will be ok tomorrow. something about a safety net that i didn't konw anything about. anyway i'll have to change it for next semester because there's no way i'll be able to pay upfront in june. no way in hell. today has gone down quite well. went to the beach this morning with the dogs and my family and katie and bo, and then chuffed home to do some anthrop reading and justify my definitions.
got to swanbourne on my way to meet nic at the cott at 2 when she messages me to say she'll be there at three. i say bugger that and turn around, and get to claremont when she messages me again to say she'll be there asap after i wrote back asking why she hadn't told me that before i left.
so she called me when they finally got there after i sat on the ;awn on cott beach for 45 minutes and thought deep and meaningful thoughts. actually i watched juveniles poncing around and tourists wearing sneakers and bikinis. such a good look. went in with no line (woah) and chilled for a bit, then got a call from steve telling me they were about to leave rotto so i went down to rous head to pick him up. HALF AN HOUR LATER... finally arrived and we went back to the cott for a while. called home at about 6:30 to find out what time dinner was scheduled for and headed home soon after that for pumpkin risotto (our very own delinquent pumpkin that sprand with gusto out of the commando mulch.) and i took steve home about an hour ago because i wanted to do some reading for tomorrow which i have shitloads of, so i'm going to do that before i make myself feel any guiltier. i have been doing my assignment, it's not like i've been fucking around. why am i trying to justify this to MYSELF?

(2 escape routes | find another way out)

Subject:	and more
Time:	5:07 pm.

Future Novelists... These are actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays (Don't know if this is true, but they're funny anyway)

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

He spoke with wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

She grew on him like she was E. coli and he was room temperature Canadian beef.

She had a deep throaty genuine laugh like that sound a dog makes just before he throws up.

Her vocabulary was as bad, as, like, whatever.

The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge free ATM.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7 pm instead of 7:30.

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

The hailstones leaped up off the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

Long separated by cruel fate, the star crossed lovers raced across a grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, on having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the east river.

Even in his last years, grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

"Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like a college freshman on $1-a-beer night.

He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

The Ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids with power tools.

He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

She was as easy as the TV guide crossword.

She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

Her voice had that tense grating quality, like a generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightening.

It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

(find another way out)

Subject:	more email content
Time:	4:52 pm.

Andy Rooney On Prisoners:
Did you know that it costs forty-thousand dollars a year to house each prisoner? Jeez, for forty-thousand bucks apiece, I'll take a few prisoners into my house. I live in Los Angeles. I already have bars on the windows. I don't think we should give free room and board to criminals. I think they should have to run twelve hours a day on a treadmill and generate electricity. And if they don't want to run, they can rest in the chair that's hooked up to the generator.

Andy Rooney On Fabric Softener:
My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then I noticed women coming up to me, sniffing, then saying under their breath, "Married!" and walking away. Fabric Softeners are how our wives mark their territory. We can take off the ring, but it's hard to get that April fresh scent out of your clothes.

Andy Rooney On Morning Differences:
Men and women are different in the morning. We men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, 'How can he want me the way I look in the morning?' It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve.

Andy Rooney On Phone-In-Polls:
You know those shows where people call in and vote on different issues? Did you ever notice there's always like 18% that say "I don't know." It costs 90 cents to call up and vote and they're voting "I don't know." Honey, I feel very strongly about this. Give me the phone. (Says into phone) "I DON'T KNOW!" (Hangs up looking proud.) Sometimes you have to stand up for what you believe you're not sure about." This guy probably
calls phone sex girls for $2.95 to say, "I'm not in the mood."

Andy Rooney On Cripes:
My wife's from the Midwest. Very nice people there. Very wholesome. They use words like 'Cripes'. 'For Cripe's sake.' Who would that be -- Jesus Cripe's? The son of 'Gosh' of the church of 'Holy Moly'? I'm not making fun of it. You think I wanna burn in 'Heck'?

Andy Rooney on Research:
Because over the past few years, more money has been spent on breast implants and Viagra than is spent on Alzheimer's Disease research, it is believed that by the year 2030 there will be a large number of people wandering around with huge breasts and erections...who can't remember what to do with them.

Andy Rooney on Vegetarians:
"Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning 'lousy hunter.'"

(find another way out)

Subject:	a funny email i got
Time:	4:43 pm.

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.
(That's Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Do not try this at home...... maybe at work.)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes... lucky pig... can you imagine??)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmm)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(OK, so that would be a good thing....)

A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, would they live a lot longer?)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)

(find another way out)

Time:

6:33 pm.

this week has generally been pretty choice. all my new undies are bonds. i have never had so much bonds goodness at one time before. i am happy now. hopefully i will not have to buy more expensive underwear for a VERY LONG TIME. now, this morning i went to my ecotexts tute which was not intimidating, but inspiring. i really like this course, and without trying to sound wanky it is bizarrely relevant to what else i am studying. there are several cross-overs which is satisfying. then i was walking to the reid to do some WORK when i came across chloe, and then lauren and her friend adrian, and then bianca and we went to have coffee and i had a cookie as well which was sort of chocolate and sort of m n mish on top. anyway it was very nice. and cost me $3.30. $1.10 coffees, honestly. i know normally i am against all usage of the word cookie in reference to a biscuit, but this one shouted cookie at me, so that's what i will respectfully call it.
ma and pa have taken the dogs for a walk, dad's mg mate is coming over for dinner. so after my non-attempt at doing WORK i went to my anthrop lecture, after which i was mobbed by lise and liz and katie at the same time. went to the optomertrist to get liz some glasses, then me and lise went to the careers centre so i could get centrelink forms (which i know will be in vain but one lives in hope for a generous government.) when we got back liz and jess pana has DISAPPEARED!!. we waited around for a while, checked the ref and the cafe and the secondhand bookshop and still they were absent. went to the river, and arts lawn and they weren't there, and then past the reid on our way to catch the 97 and they weren't in the cafe either!! a complete mystery. anyway me and lise were miffed and hopped on the bus to subi where we bought icecream from gelare and were told the ben harper concert has been SOLD OUT. wandered around the markets and checked out good sammy's where i bought a shirt for $1. it's just a singlet but will come in handy i'm sure.
then trooped on to the train station where i left lise, and continued down hoping a bus would come soon. waited for about 5 minutes for the 84 and talked to a scottish lady waiting there before me, who'd been there for half an hour. as i walked back the 81 stopped so if i'd waited i could have walked less but really, it's only a difference of about 100 metres. since then you've heard exactly what my bank balance has suffered, but i left out the fact that i was finally issued my amenities and services fee of $55 which means i'll get another one next semester.

(find another way out)

Time:

6:32 pm.

it's pretty tiring, standing around on yalanbee station collecting soil samples. so very hot today, it was forecast for 38, it hit 40 yesterday and i reckon it was bloody hot today. me and jules ended up in the same group, assigned to "kojonup." we did grid point sampling with a pogo stick type thing, while other people dug the rest of the hole that people started yesterday. got the three layers, horizons A, E and B which we then had to analyse by texture, consistency, pH, electric conductivity and other stuff with equipment that we couldn't calibrate properly =)
anyway, then about 2:15pm were picked up by the bus and looked at the other holes, pretty big variety for fairly close locations. ended up back in bakers hill at the pie shop to resucitate ourselves with icecream before heading back. emily poole just dropped me home about 10 minutes ago. everyone had a huge lunch in darlington for nanny's birthday today so no-one's planned any dinner. it's almost still too hot to eat. want to go surfing on wednesday morning. must ring anna tonight to check what her timetable is like. have a reasonably full-on day tomorrow. whole plant physiol at 10, break 11-1 then soil science at 1 and english at 2. anthrop tute at 3 and then whole plant physiol at 5. i ahve a second reading to do for anthrop for which i'm still relying on an e-book because the publisher sucks, and a huge reading to do for english, so i should proably start on them before i completely crash from exhaustion, dehydration and heat stroke =)
ha! it hit maximum of 40.8 today. tomorrow 39, then 31, 31 then 35 on thursday, although that is the weather report so who really knows. when will it RAIN?? it's so oppressive. but at the same time, i know this is exactly what i miss when i'm overseas, this heat at night, thst lasts all night and you wake up hot. absolutely lovely.

(4 escape routes | find another way out)

Time:

6:37 pm.

second day of uni. this morning went to the bank (which, incidently, opned at 9:30. i think that's abominable.) so what ended up happening is, i went over the road at 9, realised the bank was open and went to work to check my times this week --fri 10 till close and sat 8 till 3-- went home again to eat breakfast, went back to the bank finally got them to order a new card for me which will take 3-5 working days (!!) so bollocks to them.
dad drove me to uni so i could meet steve. saw steve and then liz and drank iced coffee and sat on oak lawn and went to my second soil science lecture at 11 after being escorted to general purpose building three, the location of which i previously hadn't aquired the knowledge of. went to anthrop which was complete waste of 45 minutes. sam bartholomaus sat down next to me without realising which was a surprise, seeing as i haven't talked to him since he left primary school in year five. but social sciences lecture theatre now has spunky blue lights on the steps, which was the most exciting part. had lunch with liz, jess gordon and julie, the first two of which i met at arts lawn and the third of whom i collected from the rock wall outside social sciences. we trooped off to hacket to get chicken nachos but ine took too long so a refund was requested and half of julies was consumed. headed off to change for my whole plant physiol lab, which covered a shit load of ground for three hours, finished just after 5. met other lab benchers catherine and jack(ie?) who are both doing ag. had to pay to rent a lab coat and got one for sarah as well, who had also forgotten enclosed shoes =)
trooped off to the bus stop, one just pulled away as i rounded the corner of course, and despite me running towards it, kept moving. bastard. so i sat and read my soil science lab manual for tomorrow and tried to work out how much money i'll have to spend tomorrow. i need to buy a lab coat, my anthrop reader, my english 216 reader, nisa from alicia because she doesn't want to keep it. i like these units so much more than last year, they seem to be leading somewhere, and it's somewhere drastically different from where i was heading last year (where was that??).
rang steve and asked if he wanted to come over for dinner, dad made chicken and mushroom pie (the most british food we've eaten for about three weeks) but ben had already started dinner. his loss. dad's pie rocks. will try webct tonight, now that they've actually informed us of the correct password =) ...