the infection has been removed! the soul of this machine has improved! [entries|friends|calendar] ....and i decided i was never coming down [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[25 Jan 2005|01:15am] [ mood | productive ] [ music | new ben folds song ] sometimes i feel like the little blip being batted back and forth by the giant pong paddles of life. 2 yells| wanna yell?

Spirit Journey Formation Anniversary [19 Jan 2005|12:03am] [ mood | odd ] [ music | murder by death - devil in mexico ] its my birthday today. i feel sorta old now. 8 yells| wanna yell?

[17 Jan 2005|12:00am] [ music | mum - the ghosts you draw on my back ] i'm going back to germany in may. hell YES! wanna yell?

Great Odin's raven! [02 Jan 2005|11:55pm] [ mood | happy ] [ music | matchbook romance - your stories ] Christmas for me was alright, my aunt and cousin came in from boston. and my relatives from germany came over as well. it was actually a pretty good christmas, probally the best since i've arrived to texas. for those of you wondering what i got. a DC comics encyclopedia. the complete series of saikano on dvd. a ring from tibet. the nirvana box set. the best of the pixies on dvd and cd. a few noam chomsky books. a 50 dollar borders gift card. new years was sort of odd and surreal this year. i went to my friends house and drank a lot of beer and played halo until 3 am, when my friend, severly smashed out of his mind decided to put on a full suit and walk down to the wal-mart to buy donuts. so we had to go and find him at 4:45 in the morning. we found him 3 miles from the house. still, he walked all that way in a short time. fairly impressive. i keep thinking about an entry about all the women i've dated or had relatonships with, i for... whatever reason think it might be theraputetic or what not. people like to read details, i keep thinking about the type of girl i like, what little nuances about them make me annoyed or i think oh thats pretty cool, how i can typify most relatonships down to a single thought that says everything about what that relatonship was. anyways hope everyones having an okay time. 3 yells| wanna yell?

[08 Dec 2004|04:56am] You scored as The Mantis Clan. You are a member of the Mantis Clan! You prefer to do what you please without people giving you orders, and are known for causing trouble. Life is meant to be enjoyed, and you believe people need to loosen up. The Mantis Clan 94% Ronin 89% The Unicorn Clan 89% The Dragon Clan 83% The Phoenix Clan 72% The Crab Clan 72% The Scorpion Clan 56% The Lion Clan 50% The Crane Clan 39% What Legends of the Five Rings Clan are you? created with QuizFarm.com 1 yell| wanna yell?

[27 Nov 2004|12:59am] [ mood | contemplative ] [ music | Tan Dun - Swift Sword (Hero Score) ] This week has been odd, i basically worked all week until arriving home 20 minutes ago, after fending off hordes of white class suburbanites every day this week i feel enthralled that i have the next 3 days off, and what will i do with those 3 days off? i will sit on my ass and play video games and watch warriors of heaven and earth. i picked up metal gear solid 3 snake eater today, have gotten about an hour and a half into it, the camoflage is kind of annoying but its a very polished game. and with that title purchased there are no more huge huge titles coming out for the rest of the year. i'll probally pick up prince of persia 2, metroid prime 2 and the third age before the end of the year. but as far as must play titles i'm pretty cool. i keep thinking about writing an entry describing all my past loves, i really have no idea why i want to do it. probally more for my own benefit then anything, in all the relationships i've had theres always been one giant concrete memory that can sum up how i felt about that person. and i feel if i don't write it down somewhere perhaps the memory will be forgotten. i feel detached lately, it may be from work, or it may be from this overwhelming loneliness i've been feeling lately, its the holidays and i see happy couples and whatnot, and i don't know. it bugs me on some really shallow level. i've decided to start practicing kendo more, because i need to do something other then sit on my ass, i really want someone to spar with. but no one around me knows of anybody at my skill level. this entry is very odd and disconnected and stream of consciousness. i hope all of you had a good thanksgiving. 3 yells| wanna yell?

a few surreal moments from grand theft auto san andreas [28 Oct 2004|01:05am] 1. doing a drive by with a car full of thugged out gangsters to george straits, all my exs live in texas. 2.a lowrider dancing to patsy cline. 3. picking up the purple dildo and using it to club the police in the back of the head with it. wanna yell?

[18 Oct 2004|05:18pm]   scroll to bottom to copy the html IMDB's Top 100 Best Movies of All Time generate this HTML for your own page at ObeytheFist.com Rank Movie Didn't See It/ Started It/ Finished It/ Hated It! 1 Godfather, The (1972) Finished It 2 Shawshank Redemption, The (1994) 3 Godfather: Part II, The (1974) Finished It 4 Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, The (2003) Finished It 5 Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, The (2002) Finished It 6 Casablanca (1942) 7 Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, The (2001) Finished It 8 Schindler's List (1993) Started It 9 Shichinin No Samurai [Seven Samurai] (1954) Finished It 10 Star Wars (1977) Finished It 11 Citizen Kane (1941) Hated It! 12 One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975) Finished It 13 Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964) 14 Rear Window (1954) 15 Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980) Finished It 16 Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) Finished It 17 Memento (2000) Finished It 18 Usual Suspects, The (1995) Finished It 19 Pulp Fiction (1994) Finished It 20 North by Northwest (1959) 21 12 Angry Men (1957) 22 Fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain, Le [Amelie] (2001) Finished It 23 Psycho (1960) Started It 24 Lawrence of Arabia (1962) Started It 25 Buono, il brutto, il cattivo, Il [The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly] (1966) Finished It 26 Silence of the Lambs, The (1991) Finished It 27 It's a Wonderful Life (1946) 28 Goodfellas (1990) Finished It 29 American Beauty (1999) Finished It 30 Vertigo (1958) 31 Sunset Blvd. (1950) 32 Matrix, The (1999) Finished It 33 Apocalypse Now (1979) Started It 34 Pianist, The (2002) 35 To Kill a Mockingbird (1962) 36 C'era una volta il West [Once Upon a Time in the West] (1968) 37 Some Like It Hot (1959) 38 Third Man, The (1949) 39 Taxi Driver (1976) Started It 40 Paths of Glory (1957) 41 Sen to Chihiro no kamikakushi [Spirited Away] (2001) Finished It 42 Fight Club (1999) Finished It 43 Boot, Das (1981) Finished It 44 Double Indemnity (1944) 45 L.A. Confidential (1997) Finished It 46 Chinatown (1974) 47 Singin' in the Rain (1952) 48 Maltese Falcon, The (1941) 49 M (1931) Finished It 50 Requiem for a Dream (2000) Finished It 51 Bridge on the River Kwai, The (1957) 52 All About Eve (1950) 53 Se7en (1995) Finished It 54 Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975) Finished It 55 Saving Private Ryan (1998) Finished It 56 Cidade de Deus [City of God] (2002) Finished It 57 Raging Bull (1980) Finished It 58 Rashômon (1950) 59 Wizard of Oz, The (1939) Finished It 60 Sting, The (1973) 61 Alien (1979) Finished It 62 American History X (1998) Finished It 63 Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939) 64 Léon (1994) Finished It 65 Vita è bella, La [Life is Beautiful] (1997) 66 Touch of Evil (1958) 67 Manchurian Candidate, The (1962) 68 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) Hated It! 69 Treasure of the Sierra Madre, The (1948) 70 Great Escape, The (1963) 71 Wo hu cang long [Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon] (2000) Finished It 72 Reservoir Dogs (1992) Finished It 73 Clockwork Orange, A (1971) Started It 74 Amadeus (1984) Started It 75 Modern Times (1936) 76 Ran (1985) Finished It 77 Annie Hall (1977) Finished It 78 Jaws (1975) 79 On the Waterfront (1954) 80 Braveheart (1995) Finished It 81 High Noon (1952) 82 Apartment, The (1960) 83 Fargo (1996) Finished It 84 Sixth Sense, The (1999) Finished It 85 Aliens (1986) Finished It 86 Shining, The (1980) Finished It 87 Strangers on a Train (1951) 88 Blade Runner (1982) Finished It 89 Metropolis (1927) Finished It 90 Duck Soup (1933) 91 Finding Nemo (2003) Finished It 92 Donnie Darko (2001) Finished It 93 General, The (1927) 94 City Lights (1931) 95 Princess Bride, The (1987) Finished It 96 Toy Story 2 (1999) Finished It 97 Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003) Finished It 98 Great Dictator, The (1940) 99 Sjunde inseglet, Det [The Seventh Seal] (1957) 100 Lola rennt [Run Lola Run] (1998) Finished It Which movies have you seen? wanna yell?

[28 Sep 2004|08:19pm] [ mood | happy ] [ music | tool - reflection ] lifes been good lately, i've been helping out on my friend sean's zombie movie, shooting footage for it and also acting in two different parts, i get to hit a zombie with a frying pan and then got to have my jugular ripped out and be covered in fake blood for not 1 but 2 days! and the other part was a zombie who gets to gnaw on one of the main characters arms. and somehow out of being covered in cheap corn syrupish fake blood, i've decided i want to go back to film school, so starting next semester i'm back in the game again. i feel that now going back, i've got a higher tolerance for all the pretentious art fucks. and can listen to them drone on about citizen kane slightly longer then i could before. i believe me going back stems more from the fact that i like writing screenplays so much, but i cannot tolerate the idea of someone else directing it, and if i'm the director i can make revisions that reflect MY vision of the story. other then that i've been wandering around town more lately it seems, drinking with the friends more, becoming less of an introvert, all good things you know. lifes good. 2 yells| wanna yell?

[28 Sep 2004|03:27am] [ mood | predatory ] Cut and paste this. I want to see how far this goes. If you could choose any song to make an entrance to, sorta like your "theme" song or whatever.. which one would it be? 1. Reli - Imperial March (Darth Vader theme) 2. cheebah - White Zombie - More Human than Human 3. Dr_kodo - INCUBUS - MEGLOMANIAC 4. lupusinfabula - Ryan Adams -Chin up, Cheer up 5. lesbianseahorse- fleeing the valley of whirling knives. lightning bolt. 6. BrandonBaker - KING CRIMSON - "Lark's Toung in Aspic: Part 1(main theme)" 7. ultispice - david bowies diamond dogs 8. Deadbucketbot - Weezer - "In the Garage" 9. adrian_jordan - NIN - terrible lie 10. pooka_faery - tori amos - iieee 11. bjorkybear - new order - 'temptation' 12. welladjusted84 - muse "hysteria" 13. Muse_of_Satie - Darkest of The Hillside Thickets - "The Innsmouth Look" 14. thewolf - Tool - Parabola wanna yell?

[28 Aug 2004|12:28am] You Are Master Shake The Ultimate Aqua Teen Hunger Force Quiz brought to you by Quizilla wanna yell?

[19 Aug 2004|11:53pm] [ mood | drained ] [ music | mogwai - stop coming to my house ] july 25th she broke up with me. juna and i as we were are no more. i can't even bear the thought of talking to her right now, when i got home from michigan, i went and saw aliens vs predator, and on a whim brought myself a curiosa ticket. somewhere during mogwais set i just felt myself letting go of it. i felt that old strong void coming back. all i can do is hope that me and her will work out someday. and rely on what i've always relied on. the void. I am in a very independent frame of mind. I do not want a girlfriend. I do not want friends. I do not want to write or create. I just want to be myself. Without expectation. Without responsibility. I want to work eight hours a day at minimum wage and get drunk and watch bad TV every night. I want to eat shitty food and ruin my body and brain. Waiting. I hate waiting. At no other time am I more acutely aware of my life slipping away. I put my hand on the very center of my chest, on top of the sternum and over my heart. With every soft, steady thump, I think, That's it. That's one less moment to be living, one less time it will ever beat. One day this heart of mine will stop, and I will die almost immediately. I wonder what it will be like - will I be able to feel my blood stop its circulation through my veins? Will it hurt, I wonder? Maybe it will feel like I'm suffocating, as my body stops getting oxygen. Maybe there will be an explosion of light and sound and pain as my brain shuts down, sustaining more and more damage until it shuts down for good, all in the span of a few seconds. I want to be awake when I die, if I die like that. No heart attack, no stroke, just complete and utter failure. Pack your bags folks, it would say. Show's over, I'm done. Nothing to see here. But I'd stay as long as I could, because the real show is just about to start. In destroying everything you think you are, you gain a level of freedom, of detachment, that you cannot attain through the absolution of sin. Buddhists whom attain the state of Nirvana often meditate until they starve to death. Their bodies are unnecessary, they have found their oblivion. They are truly free. Free of the illusions and falsehoods that plague reality. From Tuesday to Friday I essentially didn't sleep, and my mind was a haze. I feel a lot better now. People ask me why i didn't sleep, one of my co-workers appeared a bit concerned. I gave flippant responses to pretty much everyone, including jess. Sorry if it made me an asshole. What else do you do when everything hurts so much it feels like you're going to blow your mind? You grin and bear it, I guess. I don't know anymore. I don't want to sound bitchy and I don't want to sound depressive, because right now, I'm not really either. I get really depressed now and then since juna and I broke up; I guess it's natural - I still really like her and it hurts to think about it. It's surprisingly hard to love regardless of whether or not you're loved in return. There are so few people I have ever been able to say 'I love you' to and mean it, whether they replied in kind, or said nothing in reply, or told me they hated my guts in turn. I suppose, I hope, the strongest love is unconditional, or maybe only real love comes without strings and fetters. later for now. 3 yells| wanna yell?

i want to have a sword fight with someone [08 Jul 2004|09:08pm] [ mood | cheerful ] [ music | the juliana theory - liability ] heylo readers of the journal that never gets updated because i'm a lazy fucker. lots of stuffs been happened in the almost 2 months since my words crashed against your cortex. i went on travels to the michigan again, like a shooting star ufo flying home. saw the juna, held a baby chick in my hand. and saw the pure force of nature that was einsturzende neubauten. no words can really do the concert any good. nor seeing juna again. it was the excellence to say the very least. other then that june was devoid of any real happenings. i don't know why, but i hate the summer. the nights are nice and thats about it. i almost quit my job a bunch of times. its just been really frustrating lately, though i have been getting recoginiton at work for my hard *work*. i did see spider-man 2. and i really really liked it. it was quite possible the best super-hero movie ever. and it sets it up for like 3-5. i leave soon for michigan, and i get to see juna again, and i must see my friends again because they're mad at me. me and her are (hopefully) gonna go to the curiosa festival at DTE. and see aliens vs predator, and root for the predator. and then shes gonna come down here with me, and lifes gonna be rad. i leave you with The opposite of war isn't peace; it's creation 4 yells| wanna yell?

have you passed through this night? [02 Jul 2004|04:37am] [ mood | lonely ] [ music | explosions in the sky - have you passed through this night? ] Everything beautiful is far away. 1 yell| wanna yell?

mp3 thing [05 Jun 2004|11:25pm] [ mood | cynical ] The Rules are: Step 1: Open your Winamp or other MP3 player. Step 2: Put all of your music on random. Step 3: Write down the first 23 songs it plays, no matter how embarrassing Step 4: Wait for complaints about the esoteric nature of your mp3s 1.VNV Nation - Tempest 2.The Good Life - Twenty-Two 3.REM - Losing My Religion 4.Jawbreaker - Ashtray Monument 5.Alkaline Trio - take lots with alcohol 6.Azure Ray - displaced 7.The Weakerthans - diagnosis 8.Modest Mouse - Talking Shit about a pretty sunset 9.Howard Shore - Isengard Unleashed (lord of the rings soundtrack) 10.Dead Can Dance - Persian love song 11.One Minute Silence - Rise and Shine 12.The Velvet Underground - Pale blue eyes 13.Operation Ivy - Bombshell 14.Dispatch - The General 15.John Digweed - Heaven Scent 16.Propagandhi - The Only good Facist is a dead facist. 17.King Missile - World War III is a giant ice cream cone 18.The Pillows - Ride on Shooting star. 19.Twisted Sister - I wanna rock 20.Concrete Blonde - everybody knows 21.Led Zeppelin - ten years gone 22.Juno Reactor - Pistolero 23.Rush - Tom Sawyer 2 yells| wanna yell?

[06 Apr 2004|02:35am] [ mood | sleepy ] [ music | brian eno patrolling wire borders ] been a while. lots of stuff happened that i shall now reiterate to you in semi biographical taxation ways. the awesome juna visted me in the beginning of march and met my family. and was well liked. even by my onnery grandmother whos not really fond of anybody. we lounged on the couch a lot and watched a lot of movies like emperors new groove BEEEEWARRRRRRE the GRRRRRROOOOOOVE! and started to watch clockwork orange but i think we both were too tired to finish it. we also watched a lot of sealab 2021 on my bed while cuddling, BIZARRO I"M MELTING BIZARRO! Hee. we also got to go to the houston rodeo in a limo, due to the fact my mom won some sort of boot...guessing......thing? anyways we went to the rodeo and we were all like wanting the cowboys to be gored, then there was some country performer, who me and her stayed for like 3 songs. i told myself i was gonna leave at the first mention of jesus or god. and sure enough. "this next songs called jesus was a country boy." so we hauled ass riiiight out of there. whereupon we transversed to the possible shittiest carnival ever. filled with sights like.... CREEPY ARCADE CHANGE GUY! AND DAUS CUCKOO HAUS!!!! afterwards we went home and partook of the awesomeness of the natural smore. it was really nice to be able to wake up next to her all nuzzled next to me. after picking up the blanket which she kicks down constantly..... :) my junas a cute one. i'm actually going up to michigan again to see her and go and see einsturzende neubauten YYAAAAAAAAY! other things.... other things... hmm. oh! ninja gaiden for the xbox. sweet. pure and simple. it was the hardest game i've played since the old school NES days. it took me like 33 hours to beat it. but really really kickass. highly reccomended for your ninja demon zombie combat needs. i saw dawn of the dead opening day, first showing. it was okay. no where near as to the original, which i wasn't expecting anyway. but to be quite honest, they did a good job and had some creepy stuff. minus one point for atheltic zombies though, its all about the shamblers man. i don't even consider it to be a re-make. in fact the only thing that the new one had in common with the old one was that it was sat in a mall. and its almost 3 am. but i can't sleep. so i'm sitting here in my boxers in the dark listening to brian eno, and trying to slowly lull my brain into sleeping...... i think i should go fall asleep and dream of the juna. sounds like a plan. oh yes. BIZARRO plans? possibly. you bet your ass. .........i'm gonna go to sleep now. 2 yells| wanna yell?

[09 Feb 2004|03:11am] [ mood | intimidated ] [ music | einsturzende neubaten live redukt ] so tonight at work we got robbed by this guy who came in wearing a fake beard, sunglasses, hat, brown jumpsuit, white gloves, and had a glock out. he came in and turned around and looked out the window. turned around again and pulled out his gun and pointed it at matt and said "if you don't give me your money i'll kill you." and then i was frozen in the middle of drama and he did a sweep with the gun and noticed me standing there and pointed the gun at me and said if i moved he'd shoot me. so then he got to the registers and matt opened them up for him and matt got to the third one and the guy was all, HURRY UP, HURRY UP. and then he took off. me and matt gave out the description of the guy. and all i can hope is he doesn't come back. because that was scary. its frustrating when you realize all that can seperate you from living is a guy with a gun and all he'd have to do is lift his arm up and point his gun at you and pull a trigger and you'd be dead. scary stuff... anyways. i'm gonna crash out i think. 3 yells| wanna yell?

i think i've been the most places out of my friends. [03 Feb 2004|11:29pm] [ mood | accomplished ] create your own visited states map or write about it on the open travel guide wanna yell?

[30 Jan 2004|09:52pm] I am a Conspiracy Nut Which America Hating Minority Are You? Take More Robert & Tim Quizzes Watch Robert & Tim Cartoons wanna yell?

a small updatery sort of item i think [26 Jan 2004|02:48am] [ music | mogwai - helicon 2 ] first of all i shall commence the quoting of song lyrics in regards to being with juna in michigan. And I've never felt this good I'll never feel this good If I ever feel this good again Stick a sword right through me Bury me in the blue sea And that'll be the end okay, so i got off the airplane and we held and hugged each other. and ended up making out in the airport parking lot for like what? 2 and a half hours or something. anyways, after that we transversed our soul containers to novi, we were stayed for a couple days. during that time we saw big fish together. and it was excellent. we then went to stockbridge whereupon i felt the nervousness of meeting her parents. right so i get there and meet her parents and sister, right, so then all of a sudden her family comes over. and by my standards family is like 12 people at most. y'know. so i got to meet one almost complete side of junas family which was like 30 people i think? i was nervous at first but felt like a member rather quickly. what with doctor evil hi-fiving me and shoving me from behind. and it was good. most of the time me and juna just spent time in each others arms. we talked about a multitude of things. including phantom woodpeckers and Slartibartfast. and i felt content and so in love. we listening to godspeed you black emperor together and cuddled and talked. we played a pokemon board game and my poke-guy decided to commit poke-suicide. we watched movie after movie with each other. and there are now many movies which i consider "juna movies." we then ventured to ann arbor, where i met the congregation of electrons known as jon. jon was a cool guy. we watched pulp fiction and went to dennys that night. for my birthday me and her went to see lord of the rings return of the king or LOTR:ROTK because YOU know how abbreviation happy we geekfolk are. it was good i highly enjoyed it. and juna liked it as well. because THIS time she paid attention. also. WHO ARE THE TREE PEOPLE? the time came for me to leave, and it was sad. goodbyes are never easy. and this one certainly was the hardest i've ever had to go through. but i did something before i left that juna and me know about. and nobody else does. so like FNORD! i am so far in love. for those of you not in the know. or how. or a variety of other words to describe KNOWING. i'm moving back to michigan to be with her. because i just.... love her. shes my drug. shes the most amazing human being i have ever encountered in my entire life. and all her little nuances and quirks. and i love her quirks. i love everything about her. i'm just.....rawr. the jaded man falls in love i hear you saying right? well... yeah. i'm in love. veryly deepilly. and i cannot wait to hold her in my arms everynight and look into her eyes. and i mean, jesus christfuck on crutches she makes the best frigging grill cheeses ever. i can't eat any other grill cheeses anymore. cause they're like wussy grill cheeses. anyways. pictures to follow soon. and monkeys. GOD YES THE MONKEYS! 3 yells| wanna yell?

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