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Below are the 8 most recent journal entries recorded in
Vanessa's LiveJournal:
| Friday, November 24th, 2000 | |
| 12:00 am | Upset Wel this is da deal. I havent been writing for the past few days.. but let me tell you something that happened, that is incredibely outragous! A guy asked me out on tuesday! And I said okay, I mean I knew the kid, and he was nice, and cute n all. And then 2 days after we were going out, he had the nerve to break up with me! Some realationship! That guy was an asshole! Oh boy, I cant believe this. And the day he dumped me, two guys asked me out and 2 other guys asked me to blow them. How fasinating. Never got so much attention in my life. Of course, I said no to all of them, I mean, im not that type that will go out with a new person every single day! thats so stupid! Well today was Thankgiving, and it sucked. My grandfather is dying, we went to go see him in the hospital. ::sigh:: And now, I am starting to get over Anthony.. (forget that kid that asked me out hes remarkable for what he did) And I am starting to fall in love with Robbie Arvidson again. Hes becoming my world like he was over the summer. I cant forget that one afternoon when we were with each other, in the movie theater, on July 14th, this was on a friday, and he kissed me. It was the most fasinating moment of my entire life. Then after a few weeks of us in deep love wiht each other, he went and stopped liking me, and left me. I was all alone, i had no one. :( But Now hes back in my life again, and I dont know what to do :( oh well, I guess life isnt like one of those love movies. Lifes is a load of bullshit. ::sigh:: Current Mood:  distressed |
| Sunday, November 19th, 2000 | |
| 6:54 pm | my day Well yesterday I went to a party, and it was really fun! Concidering that I am never invited anywhere. The guy I liked, called me a bitch, and told me to fuck off, so I guess now I have no chance at all. I grinded with a hot guy at the party yesterday! And I think I like him! Hes really nice, but he has a girlfriend, and shes like really popular, and nice, and pretty in my grade, so i have no chance whatsoever. Well not until they break up which will be in a long time, i have to go, ok mwaz xoxo bye bye |
| Saturday, November 18th, 2000 | |
| 9:26 am | having a good time Im having a good time.. Im over my friend Sashas house. And we are keeping ourselves ocuppied. Well, I am wanting to get over Anthony, and move on 2 bigger and better things as Justin would say to me. :( God, everything is hard and uncontrolable, if something good happens something bad always has to go along with it, because its life, and life sucks, well, i gotta go, we are gonna go chill somewhere, ttyl mwaz xoxo bye bye Current Mood:  sleepy |
| Thursday, November 16th, 2000 | |
| 11:32 pm | Im still alone:( The worst day of my life was just today, i asked out the guy I love with all my heart, and he said that he liked other gurls. It broke my heart, I cried and cried like a 5 year old girl. I dont udnerstand. I mean. he said to me about a month ago that he liked me, now he doesnt? How can you change ur mind so fast? Its so hard :( Everyone is putting pressure on me, and I was the assistant manager of the wreastling team and i was so involved for the team, and I am devoting them, and my friends the "HEAD" Manager and she said that there are 5 managers and that i couldnt go to all the practices, but she doesnt understand that I want to! I am willing to do this, I care about the team, and I want to be there. But no, shes gotta bitch about it, she thinks she owns that damn team. I dont understand, God I hate my life. what the fuck is wrong iwth me? I fainted today too.. because i was crying so much, I hate everything about my life, im always depressed, i can never have fun. And Im always sad, thats why i always try to comittee suicide because I am sick and tired of everyone giving me shit for nothing. If I died I wouldnt want anyones pity. I would want to be left alone. But no, everyones gotta bitch about it, and I LOVE ANTHONY,so much and I cant believe he actually said no to me. This sucks I cant write anymore im crying Current Mood: distressed |
| Wednesday, November 15th, 2000 | |
| 11:23 pm | Depressed and alone Ok, well at this moment right now I am crying.. over the guy I am in love with.. he doesnt understand that I am falling in love with him! He doesnt understand the way I feel.. I dont love him for his looks.. even though he is attractive, I dont like him for his personality, which I dont know very well.. but theres something about him, its not his personality, its not his looks, its not something that you need to know a person to love..its something that is inside of my heart, i mean he gives me butterflies in my stomach everytime i see him, and I truely care about him Current Mood:  lonely |
| Tuesday, November 14th, 2000 | |
| 11:34 pm | A new friend i made a new friend a few days ago and hes really nice. He helped me out with a few of my problems and hes really nice! Not a lot of people write to me though. oh well, At least i have a friend :) Current Mood:  indifferent |
| Saturday, November 11th, 2000 | |
| 12:33 am | Im just sitting here by myself on the computer.. everything is ok, well now it is.. but some of my friends are turning against me. I mean its not everyday i can just be happy, I talked to my 'ex boyfriend' Robbie Arvidson today.. see during the summer we made out and had a relationship then one day he left me.. but anyway, he was asking me all these questions.. I mean i dont care or anything, but its just not him.. its robbie... he wouldnt ever be nice to me... when he hung out wiht his friends he made fun of me.. and now hes friends wiht me.. i honestly dont know to believe anything he says or what.. and now Im starting to like Vinni.. and Nick.. I really dont know what to do. My good friend Cali's brother is Nick.. and I just dont want her thinking that I am only hanging out wiht her over her brother because I truely am not.. I hate my life so much. I wish everything would just go away. But it wont. It wil stay with me for the rest of my life. God I hate this. And now someone is hacking my computer and messing everything up and its hard.. i mean, i cant ever have fun without someone ruining it. Like what happened today...Valerie started wiht me.. and stuff and mike sacone hates me, i hate life everything is wrong. |
| Saturday, November 14th, 1987 | |
| 5:08 pm | My GREAT day.. yea right Today was another boring day.. went to school.. got c's on practically every subject, got my school picture back.. and it looked like shit.. as usual with ugly self, and went to student council and came home.. it was a stupid day as usual and Im depressed again.. life is so stupid, i mean theres always nothing to do, and when there is no one invites me to go with them.. or hang out with them.. or anything, everyone doesnt give a shit about me, life sucks, i hate it, i wished that i would just die, and let everything all go away..And anthony.. is the only good thing that happened today, well at least for what i see, i mean i seen his profile, and it doesnt say " i love you maegen anymore " but i know he wouldnt ever put me in there.. im not good enough, from justins words, hes too cool for me, and to popular for me, and too everything for me.. god, everyone is so much better than me, and I found that out today too.. I find all this shit everyday. Why cant everything just end:( and now ppl are making rumors about me, and everyone wont just leave me alone, i dont anyones pity, i dont want anyone to feel sorry for me, i just want every1 to see that im depressed, and when I am that I dont want to be bothered, i want to be liked by people, without fighting with them, begging for them to be my friend, i want someone to be friends with me and actually care, but that wont ever happen, because no one cares, and the ones that did dont talk to me anymore because now they hate me.. bye Current Mood: depressedCurrent Music: Incubus-I miss you |