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[ stars on my sky ]

Hello. I'm Rissa. I am seventeen years old, I'll be eighteen on March 30. I live in Orlando, Florida and I hate it. I want to go back to Utica, where I was born. Feel free to friend me, I don't bite.. Hard. :D

I listen to everything. But my favorite bands are Children of Bodom, Guns N' Roses, HIM, Arch Enemy, AFI, and Norther. I love 80s music, metal, rock, etc. Yes, I am cool. Hehe.

I have caulrophobia, so if you have clown icons or whatever, don't friend me. It's not a joke. I hate people who never update or never comment, so don't friend me if you're like that too.


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--[ communities
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--[ band linkage
+ children of bodom
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--[ song of the week
him - join me in death


baby, join me in death
baby, join me in death

we are so young
our lives have just begun
but already we are
considering escape from
this world

and we've waited for so long
for this moment to come
we're so anxious to be together
together in death
woah, oh

would you die tonight for love?
baby, join me in death
would you die?
baby, join me in death
would you die tonight for love?
baby, join me in death

this world is a cruel place
and we're here only to lose
so before life tears us apart
let death bless me with you
woah, oh

would you die tonight for love?
baby, join me in death
for you, die..
baby, join me in death
would you die tonight for love?
baby, join me in death

join me in death
woah, oh, oh..

this life ain't worth living
this life ain't worth living
join me, join me
this life ain't worth living
join me, join me
this life ain't worth living!

would you die tonight for love?
baby, join me in death
for you, die..
baby, join me in death
would you die tonight for love?
baby, join me in death

[ information | about me]
[back in time | calendar!]

Saturday, February 05, 2005 - The Bitch Is Purring..
[mood | cranky ]
[music | HIM - The Funeral of Hearts ]

I've been thinking that maybe I should get back into playing basketball a little bit. In P.E., the girls were teamed up to play against each other and I must have made at least ten baskets in a row after I wore the rust off. My weak spot is shooting from too far off to the side. Like, I can't make a three point directly horizontal from the hoop to save my life. Sometimes I wish I still had a basketball hoop where I live. Oh well. Maybe I won't get back into basketball after all.

Last night was a piece of shit. I did manage to get out, but I ended up getting throughly irritated. I was ready to tell a handful of people to fuck off. Then Oz started talking to Rose. What the hell? He screams at her and says he hates her one minute, and then talks to her like they're pals the next? Rose came up to me and gave me a huge hug and I just wanted to shudder with disgust. I didn't really talk to her much, and I wasn't friendly. But I was civil. Sometimes Oz confuses me. He says one thing, and does another.. and it's not just with Rose.

I got another book by Neil Gaiman. Smoke and Mirrors. But first I must finish reading Rainbow Boys. I finished reading Silver's Edge (Finuviel ish a sexy Sidhe!), but it said to be continued, and I have to wait until June to get Silver's Bane, the sequel. Ugh, and July to get the next Harry Potter book. I hate waiting for books. Cause I love reading, and I'm impatient.

Avarice is on my shit list.

And I got back my SAT scores. They suck. Math is 440, verbal is 570.. for a total of 1010. That's fucking shitty. Good thing it's enough to get into Valencia and UCF.

[ 15 kisses ] | [ kiss the stars ]

Thursday, February 03, 2005 - A Disease That Cannot Be Cured
[mood | bored ]
[music | The Kovenant - Jihad ]

*Screams* NEIL GAIMAN! AHHHH!!! I want to prance around with a Marquis de Carabas plushie cause NEVERWHERE IS THE SHIZZLE!!!

[ kiss the stars ]

Thursday, February 03, 2005 - I Just Want You To Know Who I Am..
[mood | pissed off ]
[music | Dark Tranquillity - Cathode Ray Sunshine ]

I haven't been in a very good mood today. I haven't had a very good day either, for that matter.

I almost got in a fight with some bitch on the bus today. Some guy was walking down the road in bedroom slippers and I said "That's stupid." and the girl (who's black, and yes, that's part of the reason why it started. I am NOT racist!) said "What do you expect? We're in the ghetto?" and I said "Well, I live in the ghetto and I'm not ghetto. You can live here without being trashy." and she said "Well, we're black. That's why." and I said "Well, white people can be ghetto too." and she said "No they can't." and I said "Where do you think the word 'ghetto' came from? It wasn't always a black thing." and she says "Well if white people are ghetto, it's because they're fake. You know you guys were always fake assholes anyways." and I got pissed off at this. I was sitting by the window seat and my friend Lauren was in the aisle seat. So this girl and I were arguing back and forth and she said "You pussy bitch! Why don't you come and get me?!" So I jumped up and tried to get past Lauren, but Lauren and Carlos were holding me back. And this girl's standing up in the middle of the aisle, talking shit. "If you're so tough, white bitch, why don't you come and get me?!" I said "What the fuck do you think I'm trying to do?! They're holding me back! I want nothing more than to kick your ass!" and she's like "Well get over here! Come get me, bitch!" And I'm so mad by now that I'm fighting to get past Lauren and Carlos. I have scratches all up my arms from trying to get past them. And she's like "Come on, stop talking and come and get me!" over and over.. and I'm like "Shut the fuck up, bitch! They won't let me go, and you're lucky too! The only reason you're all standing up big and bad is because no one gives a shit about you. No one cares enough to hold your ass back!" This bitch just kept talking her shit until she got off the bus. I said "She's lucky she got off the bus first.. Otherwise I would have gotten her when I walked by her to get off."

I fucking hate it when someone takes a simple conversation and turns it into a loud mouthed racist fucking thing.

EDIT: Didn't the term 'ghetto' come from the Holocaust or some shit? For the camps they kept them in? Hmm.. arn't Germans and Jewish people.. OH MY GOD! Arn't they white? (Insert sarcasm)... White ghetto people are SOOOOO fake.

God, I hate it when these people here talk like black people are the only race worth being. It pisses me off. I WISH WE COULD ALL BE EQUAL!!

[ 16 kisses ] | [ kiss the stars ]

Wednesday, February 02, 2005 - Tears Down The Walls..
[mood | nostalgic ]
[music | Arch Enemy - We Will Rise ]

Camp Anawana! We hold you in our hearts.
And when we think about you,
It makes me wanna FART!

It's I hope we never part!
Now get it right, or pay the price!

Now we will share a lifetime
Of the fondest memories.
By the lake of Anawana
Set in the old pinetrees.

Camp Anawana! We hold you in our hearts.
And when we think about you,
.... This thing came apart ....

Think Anawana-wana-wana!
Live Anawana-wana-wana
UGH!
[ 10 kisses ] | [ kiss the stars ]

Wednesday, February 02, 2005 - God Just Forgot To Tap My Shoulder..
[mood | confused ]
[music | Amon Amarth - God, His Son, And The Holy Whore ]

Erica called me today. She's married, pregnant again, and she's coming down to Orlando this month. I'm not too happy with a lot of decisions she's made with her life but I still miss her. That's my best friend in the whole world. I really can't wait to see her. This isn't coming fast enough.

I saw Keith Barr! YES!!! He ran up to me like two lovers running towards each other in a meadow field with corny music playing. He hugged me, and spun me around. He's still such a sweetie. We joked around, and I asked him some questions about Evans. He said Amanda's still chunky. Haha. I believe it.

I want to move away. I want to get out here. Someone take me with you.

[ 2 kisses ] | [ kiss the stars ]

Tuesday, February 01, 2005 - Beneath The Summerlands..
[mood | restless ]
[music | HIM - Rebel Yell ]

I had a really bad dream last night. I woke up in tears and missed my bus. I was suspposed to meet Sergio, and I feel bad. But this dream really fucked me up bad. Where's Oz? I need to talk to Oz.

[ 7 kisses ] | [ kiss the stars ]

Monday, January 31, 2005 - You Were The First, You'll Be The Last
[mood | content ]
[music | Cheap Trick - The Flame ]

Tonight I kicked major ass on the touch Wheel of Fortune thing when I got both "Cheap Trick - The Flame" and "Def Leppard - Pour Some Sugar On Me". Yes.. then Avarice and I joined together in the singing of "Let's Groove" by Earth Wind & Fire. LOL.

[ 1 kisses ] | [ kiss the stars ]

Sunday, January 30, 2005 - As Another Night Becomes A Yesterday
[mood | cheerful ]
[music | Shadows Fall - What Drives The Weak ]

The oh-so-desirable [info]____nyquil made me a fansign and I now love here forever and ever and ever. I put it in my userinfo and such. If anybody else wants to make me a fan sign, I will love you forever too! Please? Hehe. I'll gladly return the favor once I get my webcam. <3

[ 2 kisses ] | [ kiss the stars ]

Sunday, January 30, 2005 - Only The Sinners Remain..
[mood | dirty ]
[music | Arch Enemy - Dead Eyes See No Future ]

Okay, nothing too interesting is going on. Yesterday Amber wanted to go into Hot Topic to get some "pants with all the chains on them". She's twelve, and I'm sitting here thinking that this kid is going to become a major poser. So I spent about an hour and a half aimlessly wandering around Hot Topic, staring at a lot of the stupid Slipknot and Good Charlotte t-shirts and lunchboxes while this kid tried on pants that are way too expensive. I did see a Journey shirt that was pretty cool, but I didn't buy it. The guy at the counter tried to get me to go see his psychobilly concert in February, but his mohawk disgusted me and I'm not into psychobilly.

I watched some really fucked up confusing anime yesterday about dolls with the souls of little girls in them.. and there was a festival with creepy looking clown things with clown type music and a guy with white eyeballs and another guy with an ugly brown mullet. I wasn't paying that much attention because the whole anime, even the fight scenes, had too much of a relaxed atmosphere and it was putting me to sleep. Oz and his friend were making fun of me for being creeped out at the clown things. I beat the shit out of Oz.

I don't remember the name of this anime.. It wasn't the kind that I watch. I watch the comedy kind, with the big ol' eyes and femininely skinny guys. I watch the shoujo anime too, like Cardcaptor Sakura. Not this.. x_x;

I need a shower.

OH! Join [info]_soulsonfire! I love you forever! PLEEEEAASSSEE! And if you joined and never applied, please apply. There's still slots left for auto acceptance!

[ 10 kisses ] | [ kiss the stars ]

Saturday, January 29, 2005 - Our Heaven's Worth The Waiting
[mood | hungry ]
[music | Fear Factory - Cyberwaste ]

Yesterday I went back to school, and I was glad too. It gets really boring sitting around the house by yourself when you're sick and your mother's in St. Petersburg because your grandmother had a heart attack. So, needless to say, I was glad to be back at school. I was glad to see Sergio in drama, because he's really cool. I'm starting to realize that Freedom is filled with some really fucked up people, and it's just to surround yourself with the normally weird ones. (Lol, if that made any sense at all).

Jacob turned into an asshole as usual. Lauren and I have had just about enough of him. Whenever he's trying to get his trailer trash "mack" on, he ignores Lauren and I completely as if we don't even exist. So, then when Lauren and I went up to the lunch table, I said "Nice of you to say hi to us in the lunch line, Jacob." and he says "I didn't know I had to say hi to you everytime I see you." and Lauren goes "We're supposed to be friends! Friends say hi!!" And he ate in silence and got up and walked off. I was so annoyed.

And then I went to Rocky's. Avarice came and picked me up. I've known this kid for about a year and a half now, and I stole his driver's license last night and I'm just finding out his real name is Cody. Where the fuck did Avarice come from? LOL. And I taught Oz how to play Q-Shot (Bejeweled on some cell phones), and Avarice and I totally owned at Tai-Play (Mah-Jong, or however you spell it).

Today I'm going shopping with Mary and I might go back to Rocky's tonight. I am not sure about the Rocky's thing.

Well, Darryl's home this weekend. My mother screaming at me to get the house cleaned so she can look all big and major authority-holding in front of him has already begun. I must go. Adios.

[ 9 kisses ] | [ kiss the stars ]

Thursday, January 27, 2005 - Hahahahahaha
[mood | accomplished ]
[music | Dynamite Hack - Boys In The Hood (LMAO) ]

I know I hate most rating communities, but I got bored and made one that judges on whether you're fake or not, and whether you're a fucking idiot or not. This should be interesting. First ten applicants are auto accepted or rejected by me. (Hint: If you're on my friends list, you'll be accepted, cause I'm just unfair like that.) If you want a collateral and want me to join your community if I join yours, lemmie know and I'll gladly do it. :D

[info]_soulsonfire. Go. Please? I LOVE YOU!

Oh, and please have a sense of humor for this, okay? :P

[ 10 kisses ] | [ kiss the stars ]

Thursday, January 27, 2005 - Baby, Join Me In Death..
[mood | good ]
[music | HIM - Join Me In Death ]

I am feeling better today. Yes, I am!! I might go to school tomorrow, and I have to especially if I want to make it to Rocky's to see my friends. I'm sick of stuck in this house. I actually want to go to school.

I made another quiz. It's for all you HIM fans.. see how good you are at recognizing lyrics. Don't cheat and look them up, cause that's no fun. Comment here with your score. :P HIM Lyrics Test.

[ 12 kisses ] | [ kiss the stars ]

Thursday, January 27, 2005 - A Sacrifice Made To The Loss Of A Mind
[mood | touched ]
[music | HIM - Pretending ]

I am such a fucking sap. I've been watching Maury, and it's made me cry. They have people with deformities and disorders and they're all crying because people have made fun of them all their lives. It's so horrible. How could anyone ever been that cruel? There was this one girl who was born without any arms and she does everything with her feet. Her little sister spoke of her so fondly. "I love my sister, and I love helping her get ready for school in the morning. She's my best friend, and I hope she knows I will always love her. She's just like anyone else." That made me cry. And then there was a little boy who's mother had the disease that made their skin turn white if they're black. And he's all "I don't care what anyone says about her, I will always love my momma!" That is so damn sweet.. I hope my children turn out like that.

[ 3 kisses ] | [ kiss the stars ]

Wednesday, January 26, 2005 - Yeah.. Can't Make Out What This Guy's Saying
[mood | blah ]
[music | Cannibal Corpse - Hammer Smash Face ]

How well do you know ME? Take the quiz! Hehehehehe. o__O;

Take The Quiz!

Also, I found this to be fucking hilarious.. Awkward Moment Fetish @ Loserville.

[ 2 kisses ] | [ kiss the stars ]

Wednesday, January 26, 2005 - Here I Am.. Rocked You Like A Hurricane
[mood | hopeful ]
[music | The Scorpions - Rocked You Like A Hurricane ]

Have you ever read "Neverwhere" by Neil Gaiman? Do you like to roleplay? If you do, let know.. Cause I've gotten a sudden urge to roleplay a storyline based on that book.. and I can't find anyone who wants to. It can be one on one play, or a full blown storyline.. But I just am like.. ADDICTED to this book! I pray someone's read it and likes to roleplay.. Lol.

[ 7 kisses ] | [ kiss the stars ]

Wednesday, January 26, 2005 - Where Do We Go? Sweet Child..
[mood | sick ]
[music | Guns N' Roses - Sweet Child O' Mine ]

I didn't go to school today either. My throat is still horribly nasty, and when I woke up, my voice was almost non-existant. Also, my mother's still in St. Petersburg because of my grandmother. I talked to my grandma a little today, and she sounds horrible. I'm glad she's still alive though.

So, I'm still alone in the house and feeling shitty. And I had a sudden craving to listen to GnR.. WOAH, OH! SWEET CHILD O' MINE!

And let me just say that I love the friends I have at Freedom. They care about me so much more than the ones I had at Evans ever did. I got about five text messages this morning asking if I were coming to school, and if I were okay. Hardly anyone at Evans would ever have done that.

Quizzes Ahoy! )

[ 7 kisses ] | [ kiss the stars ]

Tuesday, January 25, 2005 - My Home's In Your Arms...
[mood | thoughtful ]
[music | Dark Tranquillity - Monochromatic Stains ]

Your pretty face is going to hell.

You know, sometimes when I think back on all of the shitty things that have happened to me, I start to wonder if they weren't so shitty after all. For example, what happened between me and Jon. If you had of asked me even a month ago if I thought that was one of the worst things that had ever happened to me, I would have corrected you. I wouldn't have said it was one of the worst things, I would have told you that it was THE worst thing. But, now that I think about it, it probably was a good thing. Without going through what happened between me and Jon, I probably wouldn't be as mentally strong as I am. I wouldn't have learned how to let things go, and not to trust people so easily. I never realized this before, but just like how every good thing comes at a price, every bad thing comes with something good. I guess that saying that every cloud has a silver lining is true.

Everyone whines, even myself. If you say that you don't, you're a damn liar. But it's okay to whine, and it's okay to cry. I'm sick of people saying that crying is for the weak. I'm sick of people saying that love is for the weak. And I'm tired of people yelling about hypocrites. I don't like BIG hypocrites, people who contradict themselves every single minute of every hour in every day. But we're all a hypocrite in one way or another.

All of the bad things about me, all of my bad personality traits, I've learned to accept. And if someone doesn't like them, and can't love me because of them, well they can go to hell. I may cry and I may get depressed when something horrible happens to me, but that's only human.. Now I see that it's probably a good thing that something so emotionally wrenching happens.

[ 22 kisses ] | [ kiss the stars ]

Monday, January 24, 2005 - The Elephants March To War
[mood | miserable ]
[music | Cradle of Filth - Suicide And Other Comforts ]

Join me! Alliance of defiance.. in the warhead! This is a catastrophe! You must lead if they get me! On my command, break free!

My grandmother had a heart attack and she's in the hospital. And my throat is bothering me so much. I can't stop coughing, and it hurts and shit. Grrr. I had a night last night, and a good day today.. but I get home and get this shitty news.

[ 16 kisses ] | [ kiss the stars ]

Sunday, January 23, 2005 - I'll Be What I Am, Solitary Man..
[mood | uncomfortable ]
[music | HIM - The Sacrament ]

Well, now I feel like typing in this sucker. I'm not really feeling too much better mentally, but I suppose I'll get over it. I'm sick of being a whiny little bitch in every one elses eyes. So, I won't whine. Happy?

Anyways, I had to get up really early to go take my SAT at Edgewater high school. Let me say, I thought the Evans campus looked bad! Edgewater looks like a fucking piece of shit. I was actually very surprised. I mean come on, a school in College Park shouldn't look at shitty. The lockers are beat up, pipes hanging from the ceilings, lightswitches are crooked, the bathrooms all spray painted and shitty. The classrooms are tiny and the air conditioning vents are not in the ceiling, they're hanging from the ceiling! It's a good thing that I didn't go to that school. I would have went back to Evans, seriously.

But then my mom picked me up from Edgewater and made me go sit at work with her for an hour and a half, and then she dragged me to Wal-Mart. I just wanted to fucking go home. But after that, I went to Rocky's and Avarice and Oz were there. But Rose started a whole shitload of fucking drama because if she doesn't get attention for even one second, she whines. So Oz blew up on her and told her off. I walked away, because I didn't want to be around it. Needless to say, I did not have fun and I just wanted to go home.

The only good thing about yesterday was that I finally got the HIM dvd with the music videos. My favorite videos are Join Me In Death, and Pretending. I think I like Ville's hair short and curly the best, like in the video for Wicked Game.

Anyways.. I'm gonna go.. Do something. I don't know what yet. I don't think I even feel like going anywhere tonight.

[ 10 kisses ] | [ kiss the stars ]

Sunday, January 23, 2005 - Suffocates All That You Could Have Been..
[mood | blank ]
[music | Trivium - If I Could Collapse The Masses ]

Not been having a fun past twenty-four hours. I don't even feel like writing in here right now, but I felt obliged to do so.

Heh.

[ 2 kisses ] | [ kiss the stars ]

that's it; where to go?
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