Victoria Palmer's perceived reality
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The perceptions, ideas, thoughts, emotions, and ramblings of
Victoria Palmer.
The 25 most recent things pondered here.
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Tuesday, February 1st, 2005 | 10:16 pm |
The plan Very, very tired. Tomorrow, get up for work a bit after 6.. go to work.. work til 5pm, pick up Lori.. go to clay workshop.. drive back OVER the bridge.. drop Lori off.. back OVER the bridge.. shower and immediately go to sleep. I will have to carry lunch and dinner in my bag. Thursday.. work, buy doggie food, *go to David's Bridal for a 2 hour wedding dress browsing appointment. 15 minutes after that I will be at the apartment of losingluna. I will bring my own dinner (staying on my whole food diet). We will exchange VERY belated xmas presents, chill out watch tv.. unfortunately I will probably only be able to hang out for 2 hrs or so.. so I can go home and shower.. so I can sleep. * Why do I need 2 hours to browse dresses. They asked my sizes (bra, pants, dress), asked what styles I am looking for.. and if I want color. 2 hours to browse dresses.. I don't even know if I want to try any on yet. They refuse to see me othewise though :< Waiting for Dave to get home, so I can say goodnight. I am already in my pajamas, showered, in bed.. tucked in. I love my new job btw.. I am waiting for the other shoe to drop.. I hope it doesn't. Everyone seems really .. what's the word i'm looking for.. the opposite of fake.. earnest.. no.. ugh.. words slipping from my mind.. GENUINE.. that's the word I was looking for.. Everyone seems really genuine and nice. I just wish there were more hours in the day. Current Mood: sleepy | Sunday, January 30th, 2005 | 9:10 pm |
selling my stuff I decided I own too much stuff. Stuff I love.. but.. haven't touched or looked at in years. I have lost a lot of things, by moving on the spur of the moment.. most of you know what I'm talking about. I've probably lost tons of books, cds, video games, VHS tapes, yearbooks, pictures, and other sentimental items. I think I need to condense. I still own a lot of crap. I sold my favorite video game of all time today on Amazon. Rhapsody: A Musical Adventure. .. It's a RPG/Musical.. You killed enemies by dropping candy or pancakes on them.. or using the cake attack. I guess you gave them diabetes. In between there were actual musical numbers. It also came with a soundtrack cd. (katamari damacy should do that). It was put out by Atlas, and didn't do very well in the states. My ex-boyfriend Wolfgang bought it for me when we were together, and when we broke up.. I never got it back. I did get my PS1 back at least. I eventually found it on Ebay last year for 30 dollars. That wasn't too bad since most copies go for 75 dollars or more. I replayed it.. and then it collected dust. I sold a bunch of stuff lately, but this is the first thing I've sold that I really liked.. and might regret selling. I might.. maybe, but it's a video game. I am sure somewhere down the line if I ever want to I can find another copy.. It's just stuff.. right? Right?? Someone tell me I am right please.. :< Current Mood: surprised | Saturday, January 29th, 2005 | 8:31 pm |
Shoes I love my shoes. There are some pairs I have had since high school. I haven't really worn heels (when I say heels, I am talking 4 inch or more, not including the platform boost) much, minus holidays for the past 2 years. The ones in my icons still fit. THANK GOD.. but I don't think open toed shoes are allowed at work. There are about 30 pairs of platform maryjanes, wedge platform heels, and just some great shoes in general that feel like they don't fit. I feel like Cinderella's step-sister trying to wedge my foot in. I just spent an hour walking around in my favorite Aldo wedge platform maryjanes. They make me about 7 inches taller. I think I can get used to them again.. Maybe I just need to get used to heels again. Thank god my Doc maryjanes still fit fine. I hope my boot collection also still fits. Damn me and my wanting to walk around barefoot all the time. Now that I am in a fancy office again.. It was the perfect time to bring out the sexy fun shoes. Zappos.com here I come. I don't know if I have the heart to get rid of the ones that make my feet hurt. I will try to get used to heels again before I ebay them off. I will have to go buy some new shoes tomorrow, to get me through the week at least. My mommy splurged on me for new work clothes today. I have like 7 new shirts, a new dress, 7 new skirts, and a new pair of pants. Oh and remember to wear red this friday.. it's like heart awareness day. Current Mood: sad | Friday, January 28th, 2005 | 7:09 pm |
I am so happy!@#!@ My wedding plans are all going well. I started the best job I ever had today. Maybe it's the honeymoon period, but I love it. My boss is only there 40% of the time, so I am mostly left on my own to set up my own system. I got it through a staffing service, it's a temp, that could become permanent. It depends if their department is expanding enough to lease a new office space. Right now the trusts dept. is wedged into the loan floor. My boss and I just clicked. She took me to lunch, and we just gabbed. I am so happy, but now I am getting tired very fast. I've been up since around 6. I even took a meme.. I'm not sure how accurate it is.
You Are a Visionary Soul |
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You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness. Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connect to your soul. You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable. Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings.
You have great vision and can be very insightful. In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself. Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend. You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer.
Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul
| | Wednesday, January 26th, 2005 | 11:57 pm |
auditions I am auditioning a new job Friday. Working in the Trusts dept of a bank. Saturday I will give you all a full review.
I rakued a really neat bowl today, and it cracked when it was pulled. I got upset because some bitch at the studio pulled one of my unfired pieces out of a form, and I guess threw it away. Tonight was not a good night for pottery.
I am not working on anything bridal related this weekend. Next week I will send out all the Save the Date cards.
I also am starting the all whole food diet Friday.
Am I taking on too much at one time? We'll see if I have a breakdown.
Tomorrow I am going to take my grandmother shopping. We will probably go to Macy's. I am going to try not to buy anything.
Michelle, when are we going to get together? How does your Sunday evening (early) or afternoon sound?
I taped Lost tonight. IT WAS A RERUN??!@#!!!!@@!
When are the new episodes going to start again?
Oh, and I sold 2 video games on amazon.com, both for what I paid for them. Woo! | Tuesday, January 25th, 2005 | 5:14 pm |
Yayayayayaya My Save the Date cards arrived from iprint.com today. They said 14 business days, I ordered them Thursday. Woohoo. The paper is linen, and the ink is raised. If you want one, because you are my friend and just want one.. or want to be invited to the wedding. LEAVE ME AN EMAIL OR COMMENT WITH YOUR ADDRESS!@#@!# Comments will be screened for privacy.. email is vpalmer at gmail dot com. and here is the purty thing.. ( save the date card ) | 3:03 am |
last name change Well, I can't change my last name. victoria.ford@gmail.com vford, and victoriaford are all taken. | Monday, January 24th, 2005 | 5:44 pm |
Freaked out and name changes I hadn't eaten much food this week. Just one meal a day.. No big thing, wasn't even trying to diet. I just had a lot of things to do, and eating wasn't penciled in.
What freaked me out was my hands this Friday. Normally, normal people.. when you touch their skin hard.. a white mark appears.. the pinkness of the flesh changes for a second. Well I had no pinkness. Just very pale translucent skin on my hands, that showed my veins like a roadmap. There was only one other time.. well it was a very long time that I had ever had hands like that.. and that's when I used to starve myself on purpose to be thin.
Nothing about this was on purpose, I've just been doing those job/wedding chores etc.. It really freaked me out though. I never thought I'd see my skin like that again. So after that I ate a big ass steak and some steamed veggies and a baked potato. Pink skin again.
I need to make sure I never have that weird skin again.
Ok new subject.. name change.
I wasn't going to change my last name to Ford when I got married. Not because of some feminist ideals, but because he didn't like my idea of making a new name out of our old names. Palmer and Ford.. you could make some decent last name out of the two. I figured what a symbolic way of saying.. that was my old life, this is my new life.. we forged our lives together.. even our last names are intertwined. Yeah.. he pretty much laughed at that one.
He wants to stay a Ford. He says he is ok with me staying a Palmer, even if it brings awkward, "She doesn't like you enough to change her last name" conversations.
I hate hyphens. I'd rather change, or add a middle name of Palmer to my name. Victoria Lynn Palmer Ford.. Victoria Lynn Ford.. Victoria Lynn Palmer.. yeah, they are all pretty damn white sounding :P
I talked to my friend Dan Ingevaldson.. some of you may know him as bloot!@#!@#
He was married this past year. He was telling me how proud he is to introduce his wife with his last name, and how proud he is that she took it. (And you must love a man to go from Page to Ingvaldkjasddjasdjdaskjffdsa) How much it meant to him. That made me think.. since changing my last name was never the problem.. why shouldn't I take his last name.
I'm not sure I will, and maybe I will keep Palmer as a middle name.. like I said NO HYPHENS.. Maybe I will just drop Palmer all together. I never even thought this was something I'd consider. | Friday, January 21st, 2005 | 10:00 pm |
Capitol One They must outsource to India, or some other country like that. The guy spoke english, but with the oddest "American" accent. He also told me his name was Ethan Hawke. Heh. | 11:38 am |
Please read this if you are a reader of my journal.. now or before There was a time on livejournal, when I used to write about things from the heart. My views and frustrations on politics, the mainstream idea of family, my own quest for truth and knowledge. (And if you don't believe me, well poop on you) I read in someone's livejournal today, "Do other people think that I write well ("clearly" is a big factor) and say things worth reading? If they don't, there's no point to my spending the time and effort to write stuff for public reading."( cakmpls, read her stuff, it's good and different) I certainly do not write well from any scholastic point of view, but I am ok with that. This is more about content of heart/mind to paper/electronic text/whatever. Sometimes I think it must have been kind of depressing to read my livejournal about 5 years ago, maybe 4. A lot of it were questions about myself, people.. how we all worked and ticked. There were a lot of questions, and not many with answers.. Why did I do the things I did? Why did people do these things to others? People I knew, people far away.. Why do people abandon their children? And then the more personal questions would always pop up. Then the typical of my age I guess .. Why we formed groups, what were they based on. How could we, me, myself, my friends.. all who I feel are empathetic wonderful people watch awful things on the news.. then take ourselves out to nice dinners. The ability to see who I am, and that it is forever changing is a happy thing now. I was scared at one point that I would hit 25, and be stuck that person for the rest of my life. I don't change as much as I did when I was 17, but that is because I am wiser and smarter (I'd like to think at least). I don't make such rash choices, or put myself in these fucked up positions that I now have to figure a way out of. I see my family for who they are, as much as one can see someone like that. I understand them as humans, rather than these beings who raised me, tried to teach me their values. I also see that they are happy with who I've become. I am not a carbon copy of who they would like me to be, but I am strong enough in my own convictions. That in itself makes them happy. I still do have very strong political views, but I don't feel expressing them here is the right forum. I am happy to have political discussions and debates with people.. but as of lately it's either turned into something ugly, or a lot of "me too"s. I respect other people's right to disagree with me, so other than asking them where they are coming from, to try to understand.. there isn't much more room for discussion. I am certainly not going to try to change their mind. Maybe I've grown up a bit. I still question and hunt for answers. Usually.. on most nights these ponderings don't keep me up past 3am. They used to make it so I wouldn't sleep at all. There is a lot of truth in the fact there is no point to a public journal if what you write doesn't matter. Lately what I write about is what I've done today, what I've bought, and how I occupy my downtime. That is great. It helps me keep in contact with some of you who I used to be close to, but now we don't live near each other, see each other, or really talk to each other anymore. It's sad in a way, because you guys mean a lot to me, and I don't think I show it. Maybe I care too much, and I am not letting that drift happen.. that drift that happens in your mid to later twenties.. Is that supposed to happen, am I holding on too much.. I hope it's the former rather than the later. That stuff matters to me. I think I've gotten more replies from different people on Katamari Damacy lately than anything else. :) I guess what I am trying to say is, I am going to try to express my heart, feelings, questions about life, and some of the answers I find more often. You will all have to still put up with me posting about finding the perfect pair of Irregular Choice shoes that I want to wear at my wedding. Sorry. :) Oh, and does anyone have a vcd or whatever of this week's episode of Lost? I forgot to tape it before going to my clay workshop. Current Mood: thirsty | Wednesday, January 19th, 2005 | 2:53 pm |
HIHI!!@#!@# Trying not to post too much wedding stuff here. As being on the listening end of 112312 of these conversations, I know many of you don't care about the font of my Save the Date cards. I could make a filter, if this is annoying any of you.. or you really definately want to hear this stuff.. let me know. Ok.. I paid my deposit for EVERYTHING. Well celebration related.. I still have to find a dress, and a veil, and a TIARA. I know I want to wear ICL shoes. Something has to be funky in this world of Vera Wang. I was making up Save the Date cards on iprint.com. They look ok, but I'm not sure how they will look in person. I chose the heavy linen, and raised ink.. but still. Has anyone used iprint.com before, or can you tell me of a better site? They are like 30 bucks cheaper than Hallmark. I think I used to pass iprint.com on 101.. somewhere around Mountain View. I have been trying to get in touch with someone, but keep getting voicemail.. (you know who you are :( ) Please be ok. I wanted to kidney punch Dave last night for 3 reasons. 1) for not asking me if I had plans this weekend, which caused my slumber party with losingluna to be CANCELED 2) For not caring about any of the wedding details.. I get it, he loves me, he wants me happy.. we are joining together as man and wife.. but does that mean I don't get to robot punch him in the stomach anymore? 3) For rolling his eyes at me when I asked him to proof read the Save the Date cards.. I guess that is kind of like reason 2. I also want to say.. after dealing with individual vendors, travel agents, etc.. the BEST part of my "Disney Fairytale Wedding) is that it will actually be CHEAPER than doing something else.. OH and that they are so nice, actually call me back when they say, and they don't change prices on me every day. In news other than wedding stuff.. well I really don't have any. I need to find a way into a county job. I don't know anyone who works for the county.. but I need to find one.. so they can sneak me in. I did play some GTA: 3 last night. I burnt down some marijuana fields.. woo Oh, and I really need to start my wedding diet. Mostly that means no more juice. If I register for a macmini, want to buy it for me? :> I love you all! | Wednesday, January 12th, 2005 | 3:35 pm |
December 5th, 2005 at 5pm BE THERE OR BE SQUAREand no, I don't consider posting to livejournal an invitation :P Current Mood: ecstatic | Friday, January 7th, 2005 | 2:12 pm |
songtitle meme From the fantastic ereneta, the elusive p1n90u1n and the lovely knifegirl.. Describe yourself using one band and song titles from that band | Created by naw5689 and taken 2797 times on bzoink! | Choose a band/artist and answer only in song TITLES by that band: | Liz Phair | Are you male or female: | Girls Girls Girls! | Describe yourself: | Extraordinary | How do some people feel about you: | Love, Hate | How do you feel about yourself: | Explain it to Me | Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend: | 6'1" | Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend: | Friend of Mine | Describe where you want to be: | California | Describe what you want to be: | Mesmerizing | Describe how you live: | What Makes You Happy | Describe how you love: | Good Love Never Dies | Share a few words of wisdom | Fuck and Run | Create a Survey | Search Surveys | Go to bzoink! |
Current Music: South Dakota - Liz Phair | Wednesday, January 5th, 2005 | 12:57 am |
When a Broadway baby says good night, it's early in the morning I had weird nightmares last night. That really sucked. Today was filled with little errands and chores. Paying bills, making those calls I always put off, going to to the bank.. etc This evening Dave and I took my grandparents to dinner, and then we saw "42nd Street". It was good, in that silly old style musical way. You know, small town girl goes to the big city and winds up a star.. It reminded me of Jerry Orbach (he played Julian March on Broadway). My grandparents are really great. I love spending time with them. I have a secret meeting tomorrow. It is only secret, because I don't want to jynx it. When it's over I will post about it. Things have been kind of stressed lately, but all in all are pretty damn good. Current Mood: sleepy | Sunday, January 2nd, 2005 | 11:36 pm |
I need addresses and phone numbers PLEASE! Everyone who reads this, and I know.. please leave me your home address and phone number in an email at vpalmer@gmail.com or comment in my journal. All comments will be screened for your privacy. Please do not assume I have this information. PLEASE! Thank you. This information will be used to send out wedding invitations. I will not sell your info to spammers :P | Monday, December 27th, 2004 | 1:45 am |
Weddings and junk "I'm so in love with you I wanna wad you up into my life Let's roll up to be a single star in the sky " - "Que Sera Sera", Katamari Damacy
Why get married? I keep questioning that to myself. I've wanted to get married since I can remember. I was the girl who outfitted Barbie in 10 different wedding dresses. I even had bridesmaid dresses for my less than favorite Barbies at the time.
The tenative date has been December 2005. That is now approaching rather quickly. We are considering getting married on a cruise during Christmas. Well, the wedding would actually be December 29th, which is our anniversary. There are so many details, ones I don't really want to deal with. I just want simple. We have been living together, going onto year 4 this week. Maybe we shouldn't get married, what is marriage anyway? Does it change things? Why do I keep getting headaches when I think about it.
Christmas was a lot of fun. Everyone liked their gifts I think..
I feel broken right now. I am not sure why, maybe I am just tired. I don't think I feel well today, wound up taking a nap.
I have money burning a hole in my pocket right now.
woot.com let me down today. | Thursday, December 23rd, 2004 | 11:57 pm |
Stolen from Default If there is at least one person in your life whom you consider a close friend, and whom you would not have met without the internet, post this sentence in your journal. | Thursday, December 16th, 2004 | 2:10 am |
I am wearing my Chococat slippers! A Christmas present from smkelly arrived today! Tonight I did some Christmas shopping and went to the grocery store. While driving home, down my street I noticed a weird cloud hanging by this street light. I quickly realized it was smoke. As I drove closer I saw red christmas lights flickering in the side window. When I approached the house, I quickly noticed it was flames that I saw. This is the nazi flag house I have mentioned before. I stopped the car for a moment, and saw an old scraggly man running towards the house with a cup of water. There were flames coming out the front door. He asked me to please call 911. I sped home, and did just that. The firetrucks got there in less than 5 minutes. The whole inside of the house is burnt out. I hope that old man didn't go in. My neighbors tell me he was an old high school teacher who was recently committed. He wasn't supposed to be there. :< Tomorrow night I am going to hang out with losingluna. I think I will go to Macy's and see if I can find a new wallet I like. I installed 10.3.7 tonight on my laptop. I finished Katamari Damacy last night. I am now replaying it to get the shooting star in every level. I need a life. | Monday, December 13th, 2004 | 11:48 pm |
yay and double yay!@#! Today didn't end so badly!
I guess when they were working on my car, a vacuum hose got knocked loose. So it just came undone last night! Fixed, no charge..
Katamari Damacy arrived at my house today. I am so hooked. | 1:10 am |
sucks Car broke while I was getting gas. It would turn over, but when it idled everything would just shut down. Maybe a gear or belt?
Anyway..
I called roadside assistance. They sent a tow truck to take the car and myself home. I had the pug with me. Guy puts the car on his truck, then just takes off! I ran w/ the puppy and made him stop, luckily he had to pause for traffic. He opens his window and says, "I'm not a taxi". !@#!@#@!#!@
He winds up taking puppy and I home. WTF I know the roadside assistance lady said he was going to take me home. Oh well, it didn't turn out as bad as it could of. | Saturday, December 11th, 2004 | 3:20 am |
| Monday, December 6th, 2004 | 5:39 pm |
"God only knows what I'd be without you" - Brian Wilson Yesterday I went Christmas shopping with my mother and grandmother. We weren't out long, because my grandmother doesn't have the stamina to stand for long periods of time anymore. I did finish up all my shopping. The only things I don't have yet are things I bought online that I haven't received.
We had stuffed artichokes for dinner. Mmmmmmm. Then we watched "Saved". It was a really cute movie.
The weather has been really mild lately. I love it. It actually dropped down to the high 50's on Saturday night. For some reason I really miss smoking when it's cold at night. I used to enjoy watching the smoke waft around in the cold, dark air. | Friday, December 3rd, 2004 | 8:51 pm |
funky pjs Last night I went out with Michelle ( losingluna). I haven't seen her in like 2 years! We had so much fun. We ran around, shopped, and did other stuff. We both got funky pajama sets at Target. We have to do something together again, SOON. It's really lame that it's taken us this long to hang out. I guess we got spoiled seeing each other at work every day. | Sunday, November 28th, 2004 | 1:40 pm |
oh yeah, I forgot to say "Fuck you, Apple" I bought my ibook with extended Applecare. They were never supposed to sell it to me. They were also never supposed to let me activate it. It doesn't work in the crappy state of Florida. I can't have anything done about it until Monday. It is considered a type of insurance. In Florida (because of all the old people and insurance scams) you have to be licensed in Florida to sell insurance, which includes extended warranties.
Why hasn't Apple licensed themselves? I have no freakin clue.
I'm on the fence about what to do. The applecare is still good, I just can't use it if I am in Florida. I can still transfer it etc. I could sell my beloved ibook in March, when Tiger is released. It is worth more if I sell it with extended applecare. I thought about then re-purchasing a new ibook from CompUSA. I could buy their extended warranty instead. I hear I can't BTO from them though.. Maybe by then they will ship the 12 inch with a 60g hdd as standard. They do that with the klunky 14 inch. The only other BTO thing I would lose is bluetooth, which I never use anyway.
Or
I could do all that, but still get my applecare refunded.
*gripe* | 2:29 am |
tra la di da Yesterday I got a new hair cut. It's loose and layered. She did it all with a straight razor. I think I like it. I didn't like it yesterday. I found Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas on amazon! |
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