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Tuesday, October 30th, 2001
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2:04 am - subtle plans bring fruit!
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Ah I find this Demon you mortals call the “Internet” very fascinating indeed. Its technological power and information seems to be quit limitless:
MUCH like the power of me, MASTER KREEL!
I ventured into your puny world from my own LAND called FIST, a place where I am the mightiest being around!
I found this dimension and planet by looking deep into my magical, omniscient GREEN POT OF SLIME, which I can use to spy and predict the future.
Soon after arriving on earth I decided it was my destiny to learn all the wondrous, destructive scientific knowledge you have and add it all to my already vast evil power.
I entered into this land you call the “Internet” about a year ago and have found many a interesting device at my fingers (but I must admit I am troubled and confused by all the nude earthling web sites? And who the hell is this Brittany Spears anyway? I think MASTER KREEL should DESTROY the hopeless fairy.).
The very first web site that I MASTER KREEL was unfortunate enough to find was one run by an ignorant, witless, scum of your race fool named “Dwayne”. Bah what kind of name is “Dwayne” for a conquer anyway?
Sadly before I realized he was a ball-less individual I made my virtual home on his site and made my email there too.
This week I have had the pitiful, horrid pleasure to help the putrid slim “test” his new message board/ community he was setting up. When he asked I seriously thought about CHOPPING off his featureless head and feeding it to the trolls. But if things went well he mentioned making a MASTER KREEL board. Obviously such a thing can be used well for my own attempts of conquest!
Imagine this: THE ALLMIGHTY CHURCH OF KREEL! HAHAHAHA!!!
A place to gather and teach all of the unholy converts I make here with my Journal of conquest. If you wish to drop by the turd balls message board click HERE There may be interesting things for humans there but I doubt it, but surly the presence of the members of the FUTURE CHURCH OF KREEL will help move along the transition towards that goal.
Come back tomorrow demon spawns and I shall inform you of my first bloody victory on this almost insignificant mud-ball planet. But rest assured- IT SHALL NOT BE MY LAST!
On to slaughter.
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| Sunday, October 28th, 2001
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7:19 pm - DAY TWO: FUN IN FARJK.
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Today I MASTER KREEL have waged my war of evil on two fronts and two different mystical planes of existence.
I journeyed through my magical portal to the swampy regions of the LAND of Fist in order to retrieve a few important objects of great power to help me in my quest for the ultimate knowledge and power of your puny Earth’s Science and Technology. Upon returning home I was informed by one of my demon horde that a very foolish group of local dwarfs had the notion that they could revolt and gain their freedom in my absence.
Of course I had lackeys for such things. In fact I had in reserve and army of angry trolls teamed up with a few class three demons who were just getting ready to march off and crush the rabble in the small providence of Farjk.
But it had been a slow morning, and I MASTER KREEL, have had little time for amusement so I decided I alone would personally travel to squash the revolt.
Imagine the ultimate dread and fear the ignorant, foolish, stupid little dwarfs felt when they realized it would be I MASTER KREEL who meet them on the battlefield that day.
I traveled to the land of Farjk-
Where I tortured and destroyed
That civilization of child-like dwarfs.
It was quite entertaining.
They even had a "small" army which
They thought to use to attack me-
MASTER KREEL!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Puny, puny dwarfs-
Picture in your mind this:
3 fat and stumpy green dwarfs-
all tied together from head to toe-
and stretched out upon the RACK of PAIN!
HAHAHA
Fun for the entire family.
After the brief but enjoyable exercise in the land of Farjk I traveled back to my little hideaway here on the mud-ball you call Earth.
And after I finish today’s entry into my all-important journal of conquest I shall immerse myself into a little weapon of technology you puny humans call “Video Games”. While I have yet to fully understand their place in your society it is my intent and purpose to learn and master all of your technology so I may add it to my already vast magical powers! The particular one I have in my slimy green hands is called: Yuri’s Revenge. Yuri looks to be some mad, evil, mind controlling machine of vengeance, surly a kindred spirit if I ever saw one- stay tuned for tomorrow’s entry. Until then mortals- I bid you DEATH.
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| Saturday, October 27th, 2001
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5:05 pm - MASTER KREEL is HERE!
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I, MASTER KREEL, a being of pure unadulterated violence and power have decided to create this LIVE JOURNAL as a public historical record and as a living monument to my inevitable conquest of this puny planet called EARTH!
I have entered your domain just a short time ago and have decided I shall conquer your foolish existence much as I did my own LAND OF THE FIST.
On Fist I was known as the destroyer of dwarfs, the master of the demon hoard, the embodiment of everlasting evil!
Though my strange 665-year-old body may be corrupted by my pure evil and all the tremendous dark magic that inhabits it, DO NOT let the slimy skin and oddly shaped warts fool you into thinking I am weak.
KNOW THIS PUNY MORTAL: I AM POWER INCARNATED!
This journal is intended to be the chronicle of my one-year quest for world domination. By the time of my next birthday I shall have mastered all of the arts of science, technology and this mysterious devil called the “Internet”. And when these weapons of your world are mastered and combined with my dark arcane magic’s I shall become even more powerful and unbeatable here on EARTH as I am on FIST. Then not even my arch-rival DAVID FISTICUFFS (that mindless agent of the state and prosecutor of warlocks everywhere) will be able to stand in my way.
I suggest any puny mortal who is fortunate enough to find this sacred site, this alter of my wisdom, this portal to my judgments and actions should heed my word and pay close attention to my journal of conquest and death.
For this shall be your opportunity to stand at my side. This shall be your only prayer for dark salvation. This is your chance to pledge your allegiance to me: MASTER KREEL and to become one of my dark army of death.
So puny mortals- stay tuned and read on day by day. Tomorrow begins my conquest: on to DAY ONE!
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