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Friday, November 23rd, 2001
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10:10 pm - i want candy
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broken candy cane
got me a new one he did
and it tastes like dr seuss land in florida
nummy
theres a fair bit of messyness going on with the sisters, they mean so much to me, i wish i was good at untangling things. but im not.
lyndz, hope you get that job darlin, if not maybe that christmassy one if its still around. you shall have money and then maybe one day we can go travelling as planned in days of yore.
fungus of dreamery, i have youre headfuck and dont you forget it! popcorn one of these days. i wont vanish.
im going to get in trouble at work one day, mostly everyone knows except carol and alpha...the bossest type people, tho im sure alpha has her suspicions. i dont care if they know i just dont want them to do something nasty like ban me from stationary or deport me to the fecking pollet shop or something. if they do, im leaving. shame, i love my job. i dont tink it will come down to that though. still i must restrain myself from running up to my boyfriend every few minutes. how naughty.
i have lucky blue plec. i feel like toasty marshmallow.
-x-
current mood:  loved
current music: eels - novicane for the soul
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| Thursday, November 15th, 2001
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12:25 am - wars of thumb
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it wasnt me...he started it.
mwa mwa
i r appy
XXX
current mood:  pleased
current music: dandy warhols - bohemian like you
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, November 12th, 2001
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7:49 pm - weevils within
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comfy
cosy
so:
1.you guys are everything to me
2.i like him, he thinks my yawns are cute
3.natural distance, still upets me
4.theres a hole in my pocket
5.its laughable, what a twat, release is good for you
6.nice to have options, what now?
7.no more industrial wingeing please
8.thumb wars, i feel nice inside
positivity is more abundant within me than it was, tho something still eats, its not male related really.
mmm...taco.
current mood: satisfied
current music: idlewild - quiet crown
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7:43 pm - wooden idea
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well...it HAS bean a while...
lots gone on, i could have done with online access cos i would like to have rambled on here, my brain is full and is beginning to dribble out of my ears, i dont write enough, its my outlet and de-tangler...
dot dot dot
i know i do that too much
dont make me get my flying monkeys...
spent 74 minutes reading thru all the posts i missed and looking at some of my oldies
i can laugh now
at myself at least, not at you
idlewild are fucking good. purchase, consume, absorb.
hmm, lots to say, where to start? nothing too significant, just my thoughts, needs to be broken down into sizable chunks.
meaty chunks in jelly
but first i need a big wee and some non-work clothes and a cup of tea and and and...
yeah brb.
current mood:  busy
current music: idlewild - little discourage
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, September 21st, 2001
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9:01 pm
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this kinda meat *munch munch* reminds me *munch* of last summer when me n lyndz sat in my sisters house i was looking after for her, watching M2 ((in the days before kerrang tv tho i still tink m" is better)), eating meat and strawberries. lyndz had fake dreads for the evening...waxy chunks.
in the days before any of this
im okay
im okay
youre okay
havent been here for a while, well not to write at least.
theres lots i could bimble about but i wont
bother
where the tea?
and then there were two.
*munch*
ive decided im not going to think about nic anymore.
so there.
..
.
friday night empty house. should be a big friendly piss up gathering here. im alone eating grim meat half stoned wondering what i can be bothered to do. we're not going anywhere.
im afraid of americans
arse.
maybe i'll just go to bed, i like my bed.
bee have
and
bee quiet.
~X~
current mood:  blank
current music: rico - state
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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8:59 pm
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| Sunday, August 26th, 2001
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12:25 pm
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friends
lipstick
lasagne
spliffs
hanson
i had a nice time at kajes t'other nite.
~X~
is that thunder?
current mood:  nostalgic
current music: static x - olsego undead ((im a seagull, im dead))
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, August 21st, 2001
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1:50 am
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| Wednesday, August 8th, 2001
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10:41 pm - dusted
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no noooo!
i forgot to mention the traumatising event of the day!
i was walking up from boots back to work, and i saw the clown ive been trying to avoid for the last week, he shouted "theres a girl who looks like she needs a good dusting!!!" and he ran up to me in a horrid clowny way and poked me with a feather duster! well i just squealed in terror and fled to the safety of my shop...
then when i was outside just before i thought of lots of things i should have said to him...ah well.
clowns are the eaters of worlds, and of children.
whos got my It video???
~X~
current mood:  scared
current music: the cure - pictures of you
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9:53 pm - compassion circuit
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just got in
again i was out chilling in my garden
watching bats
watched the weather change
sucking on a cherry chupa chups lolly
but sucking always turns to crunching...with lollys
i have tea and biscuits now
scumbled around in my kitchen stumbling to the left as i seem to do when i am stoned these days
theres nothing like a full sugar bowl
i conclude: radiohead is good smoking music, as i had assumed. so is mellow tool and gary numan
havent been feeling too sociable recently, i had a good time last night, but i was a bit whimpery about going out at first. i like people, i tink its just that i sit at work all day thinking 'want to go to my beeeeeeeed'...i love my work but its just been toooo busy this week, no time for bagpuss or dr seuss *sulk*
but i havent been going to bed as soon as im home, so its silly. i feel kinda minging, and not public-worthy, i dont know why. i dont want to see nic in town either cos i know i'll get upset. and i dont want to be round couplyness to much, just the usual, i know its stupid to aviod it, im not really, gives me hope *cheese* to be around happy couples but does that nasty 'wuh' feeling to me to, i just dont want to be around JUST couples, one couple is okaaay but not just me and other couples...i feel stupid and...i dont know. im not having a dig at you lyndz/greyham, you know i love you to bits ((even you grey even if you shout at me lots and call me pathetic)), and i do wanna see you, i just feeeeeeel like being alone lately. u know what its like lyndz, tho im sure i havent got it as bad or in the same way as you did, but u know when u just wanna be aloone for the sake of being alone...please explain it to your boyfriend so he isnt bullying me and shouting at me so much *smirk*
loves yous twos
kaje...sowwy i couldnt text u darlin, phone is dead as dead can be. i owe you sausage rolly goodness. how is the fit one? is he well fit lyke? has tom got a chest spot today?
well, im gonna go complete my hot topic order n go look for some CDs, mail a few people and then bugger off to bed, or to make some tapes for people, or to read some John Wyndham, or to watch fear and loating in las vegas.
cure thyself.
~X~
current mood:  high
current music: the cure - close to me
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, August 6th, 2001
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2:47 am - eeeep
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oh dear
ive just spent over 2 hours building a wishlist on the hot topic website
i dont tink i can afford the $700 i racked up
oh well...
current mood:  geeky
current music: leatherstrip
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, August 5th, 2001
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11:21 pm - broken machine
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quick stimpy! theres SOMETHING IN MY EAR!!!
well, i havent been up to tooo much.
got rained on an excessive amount at the outdoor pembroke gig, got to see kaje tho ((missed you blu!)), and various other people that i dont feel i know anymore.
last few days ive been chilling in my garden in the evenings, its been loooovely. i was out t'other night, listening to radiohead, looking at the occasional star thru a gap in the clouds *cheese*, puffing and eating chocolates my gran gave me, thinking of what i was gonna write in my journal...but i never got round to it.
i miss people.
i did feel like i wanted to bimble around by myself today tho.
there were silly amounts of clowns in town last week, i barely escaped them alive...i was gonna wear my 'cant sleep clowns will eat me' shirt but i thought that would look like i was asking them to chase mee.
he thrusts his fists against the posts yet still insists he sees the ghosts...
we all float down here.
working at the bookshop is great, im still enjoying it, after the whole 4 weeks ive been there. i get to do a DODGY GOTH window display tomorrow!! yaaaaaaay!!
bedtimes now
~X~
current mood:  devious
current music: radio nothing
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, July 30th, 2001
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11:44 pm - wicked game
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just got back inside...
rolled my first spliff outta my OWN stash ((its about time i got soem of my own metinks..))
went outside n sat behind the hedge halfways up my garden
the stars were pretty
sparkeded up
listened to lullaby and dark side of the moon on my earphonez
kicked back happy as pie
no minibeasts interfered with me ((and if they had i wouldnt ov noticed probably))
it was looovely
saw a shooting star, but wasnt quick-brained enough to make a wish
ah well, im content
~X~
current mood: high
current music: smashing pumpkins -never let me down again ((DM cover))
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, July 26th, 2001
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1:04 pm - piles of arse?
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>> Your Daily Horoscope for July 26, 2001.
Dear Chez,
You may need to slow down your pace a bit to rejuvenate yourself after the last couple of days, Chez. With matters especially having to do with the heart, it is essential that you take a more reserved and sensitive approach. Try to ground and center yourself. Instead of thinking about trying to conquer someone, try simply sitting back and receiving their appreciation and affection.
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i never got round to unsubscribing from these dodgy email horoscopes, i have now tho. i only look at em every now n then, usually i dlete them straight away. i know theyre just general shitty things that could mean anything but i have had a couple of pretty accurate ones...due to fluke or whatever.
so...i do need to slow down after the last couple of days, speshy cos mr. heart cant cope, as last nights events prooved. well i mailed 'him' last night, not exactly trying to conquer him but telling him how i feel and that im not doing this anymore, it was a pretty agressive mail but apologetic too ((which i know will piss some people off))....i just hate feeling like a bitch for being so fucking tempremental.
i HAVE been sitting back recieving his appreciation and affection...and thats whats fucked me up....so THANKS FOR THE GOOD ADVICE astrocenter!
sorry....bumble...
current mood:  aggravated
current music: misery loves co. - complicated game
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| Monday, July 23rd, 2001
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1:03 am - links
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back from cabbagelike hybernation
*has leaves in her ears*
well, im afraid im too tired for this, as always.
so i shall write soon, haa.
chez gets paid tomorrow, all my wages are going to go on the many books ive ordereded arent they? silly girl, the crux of working in a bookstore, i love it tho.
i wish my clothes would hurry up n finish, i want my bed. and yahoo has died on me just as i neeeeed to get into my mail, grr.
anyways...
be good you lot.
~X~
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Monday, July 16th, 2001
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1:50 am
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my nose is runny and theres something in my left sock.
work hurts my feets still, but i get to view attractive dredded tourist males, read dr seuss, watch jungle book and be visiteded by my friends which is very nice indeeeeeeeed.
final fantasy is bad for you, it sucks hours from youre life, dont do it....
need to read more, would anyone like a copy of carrie or desperation? i have lots i got free from work you see...
write me
x
current mood:  drained
current music: rammestien - links 2 3 4
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, July 13th, 2001
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11:24 pm
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hey.....will i ever see you again?
current mood:  sleepy
current music: leather strip - my mind is my master
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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11:12 pm - enjoy the silence...?
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i need to talk more, im so many different senses, i need to talk more.
its not my fault.
on tonights winamp playlist:
misery loves co. - complicated game
nirvana - something in the way ((tanks greyham))
depeche mode - walking in my shoes
deftones - to have and to hold
its always been the same...its just a complicated game
current mood:  lonely
current music: as above
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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11:08 pm
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| Tuesday, July 10th, 2001
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10:19 pm - footaches
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first day of work, im there til at least january, but thats okay cos i like the smell in the bookshop.
the people are nice, especially my boss, alpha.
got used to the till pretty quick but it doesnt really require much brainpower does it?
lots of interesting tourist types came in, and lyndz n nic came in to see me which was vewy nice indeed.
but...im not used to standing up...and im not used to nasty evil heeled work type shoes either...my feet were KILLING ME!
this may hurt a little but its something you'll get used to.
i got to look up lots of random books i want to order, they didnt have the lenore or JTHM books tho *whine of depair*
thats all i have to say about that.
~X~
current mood:  sore
current music: ((still)) eels - your lucky day in hell
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blah
embarrassed