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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
shaun's LiveJournal:
| Sunday, March 13th, 2005 | |
| 3:21 am | FUCK LEAF MOVIES |
| Saturday, March 12th, 2005 | |
| 4:30 am | tonight: after driving through miles and miles of construction on 1-94, listening to the ex-models "zoo psychology" cd a billion times, and wildly dancing in the living room as suzette and i quickly downed bottles of blue moon, i must say that hair police and dead machines were amazing. i've always heard hair police's live show being compared closely to hardcore, but with the exception that they have a drummer, there really is no comparison. flat out fucking intense! we rolled into country boy at 2:45 a.m. after a near hour and a half drive back from ypsilanti in snow so blinding that we drove 3/4 down the interstate with our lights off. now, country boy is always a seemingly interesting place, filled to the brim with characters and cretins alike, and last night was no exception. the first 3 things i saw were 1) a chubby man in an american flag wifebeater that had a collar, decked out with bad tattoos and his all-too-country lady friend, who was decked out in black from head to toe, complete with a black cowboy hat and boots. 2) many missing teeth 3) a guy i deemed the "mullet master", roaming around, harassing the waitresses and randomly hugging people, loudly. needless to say, i had to practice great self-control to initially keep my mouth shut about the situation, but i felt that would be best as these were the type of folk that probably wouldn't hesitate to kick my ass. to sum it up, unpretentious fun rules. an awesome evening, much better than going to work (which is what i would've been doing had i not taken the evening off). oh, by the way, CHEEZIE WEENIE. |
| Friday, March 11th, 2005 | |
| 8:04 pm | dancers wtf 1. on the corner of michigan and wyoming lies a classy joint that is apparently used for "sophisticated adult entertainment", nevermind the building itself looking semi-abandoned; their sign also has a hot pink drawing of a "she-devil" (complete with tail) bending over. underneath said sign lies a smaller marquee sign that is constantly advertising for "dancers wtd". today, after eating at red star, layne and i drove past this place; i looked over and said "you know, i really wish that i could get up to that marquee sign with an "f" in hand. i'd totally change that to "dancers wtf"". hence the title of this post. i'm a goddamned literary genius, to be sure. 2. no philadelphia, toronto instead. i am hoping that we are not searched returning to the states like i was last time. gah. 3. riistetyt are no fucking good. what is it about finnish hardcore that makes everyone ga-ga over it? most of it seems to be complete bunk ass shit. 4. i was chastised by a postal worker this morning by including a solitary sticker inside of a media mail package that i sent from stranger danger. sadly, you could visibly see the outline of the sticker through the regular brown envelope. upon noticing this, said postal lady asked me "do you have anything in there besides books?". i told her that it was a solitary sticker. she replied "well, when they rip this open and find that, they'll send it back to you and you'll lose your postage", after which she visibly shook her head at me. in response i told her, "well, whatever. it's $1.42. big deal. i'll just mail it again"---mind you that this was after i lugged 10 packages of varying sizes up to her counter, almost spending $20 to mail them all (and this was with 3/4 of the packages being sent media mail). all i have to say is : royal oak, PLEASE don't become the next ferndale. later, gator. |
| 1:11 am | omg wtf fucking die spent today finishing up my work week, coming home to make and package 40 copies of larceny #24 to send to microcosm. i'm tired. i'm going to philadelphia next week with kelly to see alline in her new abode. realized tonight that people aren't ever going to be exactly how you want them, and that that doesn't necessarily make them bad people. sometimes it does, though. i feel overwhelmed right now, and nothing is happening. wtf? hair police tomorrow night. mass crazy-ass intense mailing sesh at the post office in the morning. bro. |
| Tuesday, March 8th, 2005 | |
| 1:44 am | productive and a load of laundry well, i just finished the rough draft of my article on the mattachine society. it wasn't nearly as intimidating as i imagined it being, and writing it got me really, really stoked due to the fact that, hey---my next zine IS going to come together, and i wasn't just talking bullshit about focusing it around queer history. next up: articles on the daughters of bilitis and the founding of one magazine, which was the first queer magazine printed in the united states. the article itself will probably focus more on the problems they had concerning the post office and censorship, which was a case that lead all the way to the united states supreme court. reading about queer history has made me realize that there is so much stuff that has happened that i am simply not aware of. that goes for everything, and not just queer rights. however, it's been really inspiring to read some of these histories of groups like the gay liberation front and the gay activist alliance, both of whom were quite radical in different ways, both of whom were very upfront and outspoken in their beliefs and tactics towards achieving queer liberation. flipping through page after page has been pretty fucking amazing, and i've still got 2 other books to read! things are going really well right now; i don't feel like talking about personal things or what has happened recently in here because that's not where my head is at right now, but still, if you need someone to talk to, give me a call or write me. i'm trying my best to be more punctual in responses, and i'm actively trying to answer my phone regularly. my bout with imposed disconnection is coming to an end. Current Music: neutral milk hotel |
| Sunday, March 6th, 2005 | |
| 1:34 pm | thanks to the pesky unreliance of the new disorder site's email service, i now have a new email address at hotmail. ugh. "hotmail" doesn't sound nearly as cool as "new disorder", but oh well. either way, my new address is releasing_the_bats@hotmail.com. use it if you need to! in other news, 3 weeks of city club in a row=enough for awhile. |
| Tuesday, March 1st, 2005 | |
| 1:00 pm | zine superstar? i noted this morning that i've gotten rid of 50 copies of larceny #25 in 2 weeks time. that is amazing to me, considering that it used to take me a year to do the same amount with back issues. however, those issues were bullshit, so i guess that's an ample reason as to why. re-printing soon, i have 3 copies until then. also, stranger danger distro is looking for kids who are crafty---i.e. they make their own shit (paper journals, scarves, hats, stationary, postcards, soap, etc.). if you make any of these things, you should email me directly at still_ill@newdisorder.com or leave a comment here, as we're looking to get more handmade items in our distro. later, gater. |
| Monday, February 28th, 2005 | |
| 8:52 pm | no call=no big deal. happy to report that sending a picture of your new tattoo can sometimes result in a package full of comics in return. booyah! i didn't go to work today; i think i'll be back there tomorrow. |
| Thursday, February 24th, 2005 | |
| 2:29 am | and you? yes, please. talks about relationships usually reinforce my desire to stay the hell away from them, but really, who am i kidding? driving back from jessika's house this evening, it was all i could think about. it's an interesting conundrum to steadfastly believe that a relationship is the last thing that you want and/or desire, yet find yourself thinking about them at an alarming regularity. either way, hearing about crushes makes me blush. my change of lifestyle plan 2k5 is slowly coming into focus in my mind i.e. work for another month, pay my bills ahead, take my remaining vacation time and quit the fucking factory. a pay cut would be worth it.....SERIOUSLY. honestly, though---fuck talking about work. other life changes are involved as well---more fun, less bullshit. i hadn't received an actual letter in the mail in so long that i'd forgotten how it felt until i received maria's letter yesterday. i'm tired of electronic communication. new resolution: write more letters and answer my phone more often. my friends deserve better than what i've been giving them lately; i deserve better than what i've been giving myself for so long. not taking care of myself, eating badly, falling into bad habits-- i'm tired of feeling that there are things that i could change about myself in theory, but not in practice. in other news, seattle in april with jessika rae? could be. |
| Tuesday, February 22nd, 2005 | |
| 1:42 am | zine stuff-----------your ideas/knowledge wanted! so, i've decided that the next issue of larceny is going to have a definite theme in that i really want to write researched articles about queer history that people (of any sexuality) may or may not know about i.e. the mattachine society, the events that lead up to the stonewall riots and the instigators and leaders of those riots, as well as information about local queer outreach here in the detroit area (i.e. ruth ellis center, etc.). it'll also include my regular amount of personal stuff (maybe?), but i'm thinking that this will take at least a few months to research, write and put together, and i also have a feeling that this could be a relatively huge issue in length. if anybody has information about underground queer societies from the 40's, 50's or early to mid 60's, and wouldn't mind hooking me up with that info, that would be rad--and also, if any local kids know anything about queer outreach besides ruth ellis, affirmations and riot youth in ann arbor (is that still happening?), hooking me up with some of that would be well-appreciated. i'm looking specifically for more radical tenants of queer outreach--what is happening right now? what has happened in the past? i'm really excited to work on this---in fact, i think i'm more excited about working on this issue than i have been in a really long time, so if anybody reading this knows anything that might tie into this, get a hold of me via here or my email at still_ill@newdisorder.com. thanks! |
| Sunday, February 20th, 2005 | |
| 6:29 pm | hardcore, schmardcore i purchased a cd by a band called the holy mountain today; it's a cd that i'd been wanting to hear, and had considered mail-ordering it. apparently, this band has ex-members of combatwoundedveteran comprising its ranks, and hey, although combatwoundedveteran were all in all a terrible band, their first 7"s were great. well, this band sounds EXACTLY like they've been sucking tragedy and from ashes rise's collective dicks, and although it's not terrible, it does remind me why i buy very little in the way of hardcore these days. every band sounds like every other band, and it's fucking boring. i think that i really should stick to buying foriegn hardcore releases when i DO purchase that stuff---american hardcore is too caught up in trying to be the next fucking band on feral ward or havoc. or deathwish. gah. shoot me. |
| Saturday, February 19th, 2005 | |
| 4:01 am | p.s. updating while intoxicated=not a good idea. who knew? |
| 3:57 am | so we just returned from city club, and i'm really drunk. not edge at all. oh well. while we were there, i was admiring this really hot guy who had a really hot beard, but when i asked him if he liked girls or boys, he told me that he liked girls. wtf? i don't think i will ever find a really hot guy besides fantasies in my mind. duhr...i don't know that the fuck i'm talking about. ignore this entry. i don't want a boyfriend, i just want to have really hot sex. adjkfjkfjkajfkakj |
| Friday, February 18th, 2005 | |
| 2:57 am | YOU'RE A FISH OUT OF WATER, IN MONDO NEW YORK. |
| Thursday, February 17th, 2005 | |
| 12:26 pm | oh, record time ferndale.... why do you never have anything in your LP section besides bad indie rock and shitty crust? the whole goddamned profane existence catalog seems to reside within your racks. ugh. |
| 12:46 am | a piece of advice to my co-workers... please do not attempt to delve into the subject of foriegn policy when you don't even know that lebanon isn't "part of iraq", alright? alright. |
| Wednesday, February 16th, 2005 | |
| 2:53 am | 00000 standing outside tonight, i noticed that all of the wet snow that has been falling is sticking to the trees on our street. that's my favorite part of winter. other than that, i'm fucking over it. i wish that i had something monumental to say, but i don't. my life isn't that exciting and/or drama-filled. |
| Monday, February 14th, 2005 | |
| 12:31 am | we just got back from playing our worst show ever to a bunch of fashion kids who probably couldn't have given a shit less about what we are about. whatever. technical difficulties and ill-suited comparisons to tamion 12 inch (whom, while they are amazing, we sound NOTHING like) by some dude who made eyes at me=no thanks. attending events such as that really do nothing but further the feelings of alienation that i have concerning myself and the gay scene here in detroit. i'm not much into the bar scene here in detroit, so i've only been to menjo's a few times, and those times were with jami and dan and were only get drunk for cheap and dance. i can't imagine really going there with ideas of hooking up in my mind, and being around all of the "hip" gay kids here in detroit makes me feel weird and uncomfortable because i feel that i'm always being judged, sized up on either my appearance or the fact that, despite some people's beliefs, i don't act stereotypically gay. it's frustrating to me because in the end, i don't feel that i fit in with straight male culture, yet i don't fit in with gay male culture, either. a lot of times i find myself longing for a more radical queer element here in detroit, and while i know a couple of queer kids in this area whom i would definitely consider radical, it's still really disheartening to feel that no matter where you are, you don't fit in because everything is based around appearance, fashion, what's hip and cool. i don't give a shit about that stuff--i mean, for chrissake, i dress like an old man. i listen to what most people would consider to be bad music, and i don't give a shit about what most of the gay community cares about. this isn't a rant about being alone or wanting to be in a relationship because i don't feel that it's necessary and i don't think a relationship is something that i'm really looking for right now--rather, i just wish that i could meet some queer dudes in detroit that don't make me feel so fucking weird for not falling for the hype that seems to entail being queer lately. i really fucking wish that was possible. |
| Sunday, February 13th, 2005 | |
| 12:43 pm | my "bad education" ticket stub has been altered to read "bad gay sex". i feel that is more than appropriate. saturday's champagne of fests was cancelled due to landlord problems. no go, no play. however, i did end up trading in $60 worth of stuff to encore in ann arbor. i can always trust them to take the shit that i hate--however, yesterday, i started freaking out because it was nearly impossible to find $60 worth of stuff that i wanted. in the end, i did, but not after deciding that i might be done buying music for awhile. i've got pretty much everything that i want, and what i don't have, i don't feel that i absolutely need. i'd like to quit spending money, period. the noise show at grey's loft was fairly entertaining--dan told me and suzette last night that he thought it was the best noise show he'd ever been to; i'm not sure if i'd go that far, but it was interesting. emil beaulibeau was hilarious and john wiese's stuff was "oh my god, i feel like my ears are going to bleed" HARSH. p.s. john wiese is very attractive in a strange way. ??? either way, a good time was had by all. quote of yesterday: "um, there's no way i could live in ann arbor--there are way too many cute dudes everywhere". umm......yeah. blah blah blah. time to go back to bed! |
| Friday, February 11th, 2005 | |
| 4:08 pm | send me money, please. |