White Molecule Shirts Now on Sale!
I have nothing but praise for the recent stand the fine white people at Digital Militia have taken in some thorny matters. From time, it has been the practice rather than the exception to establish one standard for our Islamic Army. The bare naked truths are now manifesting themselves in the form of white molecule shirts.

As a proud black man in this Digital Militia, I cannot say for sure how I was tricked by these cracker co-workers of mine and accidentally allowed in WHITE shirts, for these whities at DM surely have the silver tongues of devils.

Cowards die many times before their deaths. I have not the least refrained from my intention of staying with the Militia; rather my convictions have been made stronger. It is my hope that all my black brothers and sisters will unite and order these white shirts in sizes exaggerated well beyond typical need, to hang off the ghetto asses of young men like the cheap dresses of Mexican whores. (XXX-Larges now available!)

Am I really dangerous, I do ask in the name of decency, have I wronged humanity and the warlords by doing my God-sent duty? To destroy me will not solve the problem but heighten the contention of the rebels and the world at large. Given the opportunity, I will be useful to my company in better ways. I do not deny that I also will wear these white molecule shirts, but I implore that it should be done decently for we have given a new meaning to the African personality, which is enviable.

[6 Revelations | The Confessional]

Drink Puff Drink
I've really developed and astute fondness for small diameter cigars and Kentucky bourbons on cool nights. Add streaming video game music from winamp and, ohhh baby, what a relaxing time.

Current Music: Jet Force Gemini - Nintendo 64 - Stage Clear (Gaming FM - Modern Console)

[5 Revelations | The Confessional]

Titan Update
The first close-up peek at Saturn's moon Titan brought tears to the eyes of scientists at the European Space Agency in Germany. The probe Huygens transmitted back its first packet of data Friday, including black and white images it captured as it neared the moon's surface.

[8 Revelations | The Confessional]

AIM Conversation
Randomzen: All I smell is cig smoke. Must be on me somewhere, but I cant figure out where.

droodle: Maybe you're smelling my crotch? Lots of bitches like to smoke my wang.

[1 Revelation | The Confessional]

Dear gOD,

For three fucking days I've been a miserable prick because I thought I was getting sick. As it turns out, lots of OJ, vitamins, sleep, and good old American determination don't count for shit in your humble little world. I'm sick anyway; so go fist-fuck yourself with a handful of rusty fishhooks.

Warmest regards,
Yours Truly

P.S.
You heard me correctly.

In other news:
The apparent reward for treating yourself to a non-paid day off is having to deal with a mildew-ridden shower and nothing to eat but the frozen package of Cajun Style Chicken & Shrimp that Acme delivered by mistake. My entire apartment has been carefully scented with a heavenly mixture of Tilex and fish. Did I mention that I detest fish?

Update:
The shower is sparkling, the frozen shit has been tossed, candles have been lit, and a nutritious cheesesteak is on the way. Time to start coding some database stuffs so I can turn 20¢ into a $1 - again.

Current Mood: indifferent
Current Music: The Flower Of Carnage

[1 Revelation | The Confessional]

Drinking Mead...
...and I am SOOO relaxed.

Current Mood: relaxed
Current Music: Brian Eno Deep Blue Day

[1 Revelation | The Confessional]

Forward thinking in Customer Support

"I do not know how I incurred a bill of this magnitude for a service that I have NEVER used, nor have ANY idea how to use. And additionally, I have an automatic billing that was obtained deceptively against my credit card. What is this?

I cannot call your billing department as I have tumors on my vocal cords and am unable to speak. So now what? I can't even talk!"

Dear Tumors,
If I broke all of your fingers, would this mean we I'd never hear from you again?

Sincerely,
Curious in Billing Dept.

Current Mood: amused

[3 Revelations | The Confessional]

Bitch, get the fuck out.
I fired a temp today. Her job was to contact our customers and get them to update their billing information. For some reason, she decided to hang up on every customer today rather than read the script that we gave her. I guess she knew that I was monitoring her progress by watching the calls get logged. What she didn't know what that I could play them back in full to review them.

After I told her that I couldn't user her anymore, she politely said that it was not the right assignment for her anyway. I was about to thank her for the time she did give us and let her go when she asked me to sign her work schedule for the temp agency. I refused as I still has to determine (by checking all of the phone logs) at what point she stopped actually working. At this, she seriously wigged the fuck out and tried to make a big scene in the office.

I stood there with a grin and let her unload on me. I figured the best way to set her off again after she stopped was to say, "are you finished?" Guess what - it worked.

I again let her know that I was not going to sign anything and that she must leave pronto. She unloaded again. This time I stood there and said nothing. I was wondering if this would make her repeat everything she said. It also worked...3 times.

I called the elevator and walked her into it while she screamed at me that she was going to take me to court. I had a smile on my face the entire time.

I fucking hate career temps.

Current Mood: apathetic

[12 Revelations | The Confessional]

Happy Halloween Fools
I have had the pleasure, this weekend, of sampling an assembly of brilliant whiskies; thanks to the hospitality of digigrrl. With careful reflection, I am still convinced that the bravura of Makers Mark is unparalleled. That is not to say, of course, that Jameson or Knob Creek will ever be unwelcome in my home, or my yearning maw.

Right now, I am celebrating this newfound confirmation of my love for Makers Mark with a few glasses of Sandeman's Tawny Porto. Trust me; it does make sense.

Current Mood: calm
Current Music: Portishead - Half Day Closing

[4 Revelations | The Confessional]

On the X-mas list...

[The Confessional]

Mighty christwagons..
IL CANTUCCIO

Best food EVER.

Current Mood: full

[The Confessional]

Right on the money:
You are Phlegmatic - The ancient Greeks
believed this was caused by too much phlegm.

Strengths:	You are easy-going, steady, peaceful, and gentle.
Weaknesses:	You can be indecisive, unmotivated, and uninvolved.
At your best:	You are a loyal diplomat.
At your worst:	You can be a self-righteous stick-in-the-mud.
You measure your own value by:	Attention
For personal growth, you should focus on:	Initiative
For others to relate well to you, they should be:	Agreeable
Others should support your:	Involvement
If someone wants you to make a decision, they should give:	Assurances

What Ancient Greek Personality Type Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

[1 Revelation | The Confessional]

Paradigm shift
The ability for humans to grow beyond themselves captivates me. Each day I use all of my senses to absorb and then interpret new data, infuse this with past experience, thus creating a whole new outlook on reality. Each day my mind is further transformed and I am forced to view the world in a different way. In effect, the world around me changes as my consciousness changes.

Today I learned that if you eat Cheese Puffs with a fork, you won't get nasty orange fingers. Nothing will ever be the same.

Current Mood: hyper
Current Music: My Lovely Horse

[12 Revelations | The Confessional]

Fa-ra-ra-ra-ra Ra-ra-ra-raaaa...
Man, people will hock just about anything these days. But, it's nice to know that I can purchase just about anything these days.

Now, if I only had money to burn and an extra house to put crap in...

Current Mood: I have a headache, goddamnit.

[4 Revelations | The Confessional]

The Shroud of Turin
What is it?



It's the crusty remains of red Jello and lily_fina's eyeliner nicely preserved on the front of my shirt. In her defense, it was already absorbing massive amounts of smoke and spilled Makers Mark.

This was all thanks to a fun night at Silk City watching the KO Kitties.

Current Mood: hungry

[9 Revelations | The Confessional]

Friday
After work, droodle and I wandered over to Silk City for some whisky. I was wasting time there waiting to join my buddy Glenn over at the Spaghetti Warehouse for a Murder Mystery Dinner Theater. thatmikeychick, you go girl! ...or something.

The whisky and wine are not mixing in the best way. Coding tomorrow will be a thrill.

Current Mood: awake
Current Music: David Bowie - We Shall Go To Town

[5 Revelations | The Confessional]

Must eat well...
Someone told me recently that I can use fruits and vegetables to provide my body with nourishment. Apparently they work just as good, or better, than cheesesteaks, chicken fingers, and beer.

I order a salad knowing full well that I must go past the bar to get it. I psyched myself up and headed up Spring Garden St. I thought to myself that if I didn't look at the bar, I wouldn't think about it.

( All did not go according to plan... )

Current Mood: thirsty

[4 Revelations | The Confessional]

Separated at birth?

Davros Kaled scientist who created the Daleks

Senator Zell Miller Democrat from Georgia

[The Confessional]

The fate magnet.
The week-long strike that my stomach was on has apparently ended; food supplies are already being couriered to HQ. I wish I had known earlier on that there was a problem. I had been forcing down provisions that refused to take properly and were unnecessary anyway. I wasn't positive with how to react to my lack of appetite and decided to put my rations into full operation. Or at least at first.

So, the celebratory feast nears. I have been commissioned to construct landing pages for an Internet company's product and I'm going to eat my first decent meal in a week just before going to work. Why me? I'm a professional. Is that scary or fair? Think about this: I'm paid to know what tiny nuances on a web page will influence the purchasing decisions of your average Joe-asshole on this thing called the Internet; a communication system that none of the inbred hicks that use it could possibly fathom. Who else knows what variation of text, colors, and illustrations sells the cargo? Do we use bulleted lists? What should the Headline say? How about a starburst? Lunacy. I could list a litany of variables that your typical marketing whore couldn't grasp, let alone the rat-bastard, Midwestern farmer 56K dial-up fuckheads that actually respond to this nonsense. But I'm the man to do it so I'll collect a paycheck for my time.

And why not? Hey, it's a job. It even comes with a bonus if my pages out-perform the company's current ones, which they most certainly will. But after that? Who knows? This dark ride has to end somewhere...

Current Mood: working

[2 Revelations | The Confessional]

Bling
Style.

[4 Revelations | The Confessional]