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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
Amanda's LiveJournal:
| Wednesday, March 13th, 2002 | ||
| 2:00 am | I now smell like cigarettes. But no, I did not actually smoke one. I took one.. breath of one and my head tingled. And I'm not high, I don't think. I was sitting in the shed, shouting at myself. As Agnes. For acting. And I came inside in time to encounter my dad, which is good. Because you see, Agnes, the person I'm acting, was molested as a child. And so I'm trying to recreate some of that psychosis, so I was sort of stripped. And. I rather hope you all read this with a grain of salt and understand that Acting Is Life for me. But I needed to go there. Somewhat. I did. Somewhat. And I think I really need a bath now. Yech. | |
| Monday, March 4th, 2002 | ||
| 12:04 am | I get this no matter how many times I fuck with my results, save for the one Shroom.  | |
| Sunday, March 3rd, 2002 | ||
| 11:57 pm | Hmm. The show closed today, and it was ohsosweet. The ending. I am glowing and happy, so content that I am not in the least concerned with my inability to do the trig packet. | |
| Thursday, February 14th, 2002 | ||
| 6:06 am | Right now, my life contains exactly one thing: What I should be doing, and what I am not doing. | |
| Sunday, February 10th, 2002 | ||
| 9:25 pm | So. What are people for? | |
| Saturday, February 9th, 2002 | ||
| 12:10 pm | So the Jazz presentation was amusing. If disorganized. Nice music in the background. Kashy and I laughed quite a bit when she said "So it goes," after annoucing the death of a famous jazz person. And now I've found another Vonnegut connection. In Cat's Cradle on page 171 there is (admist a speech) a poem quoted from Spoon River Anthology, which is a book of poems/monologues I performed part of. I'll write it out: I was the first fruits of the battle of Missionary Ridge. When I felt the bullet enter my heart I wished I had staid at home and gone to jail For stealing the hogs of Curl Trenary, Instead of running away and joining the army. Rather a thousand times the county jail Than to lie under this marble figure with wings, And this granite pedastal Bearing the words, "Pro patria." What do they mean, anyway? I didn't perform that particular one, but my current acting partner at Playhouse West did. Her name is Cindy. | |
| Wednesday, January 16th, 2002 | ||
| 11:39 am | 1. Mormons were not allowed to hold public office because they could have multiple wives. This was considered offensive to popular society and so the Mormons passed out of the eastern lands into what is now known as Utah. They founded Salt Lake City. This was important to the Civil War because it seriously weakened the South. 2. a) Advanced industry b) More populous c) Navy d) Regular army e) Natural resources 3. a) Better training b) Better generals c) More land available for food production d) Fighting on home terriorty e) Large coastline hard to blockade 4. They believed that the states should make their own laws and that the central government should stick their noses elsewhere. 5. Lincoln believed the fight was about maintaining the Union. 6. a) Fort Sumpter: First battle of Civil War. Confederates won b) Battle of Bullrun: First Major land battle of C.W. Feds won. Too disorganized to follow up c) Shiloh: No winner, Union got breadbasket. d) Second Battle off Bullrun: Feds won. e) Battle of Antietam: Bloodiest single day in C.W. North won. f) Fredriksburg: Feds won. g) Chancellorsville: Lee’s greatest victory. Feds won. h) Vicksburg: Split Feds in half, Union won. i) Gettysburg: Bloodiest battle in C.W. Union won. j) Chickamunga: Feds won. Union won by miracle. 7. On Jan. 1, 1863, U.S. President Abraham Lincoln declared free all slaves residing in territory in rebellion against the federal government with the Emancipation Proclamation. While this really didn’t free all that many people, it showed Lincoln was taking up support against abolition, and impressed favorably upon the eyes of the world. 8. Lincoln’s greatest ability was to see what the people wanted and to appear give it to them. 9. Although occasionally used before the Civil War, its widespread popularity can probably be traced to General Joseph Hooker, a Union soldier who was well-known for the liquor and whores in his camp. He was ultimately demoted, and Washington prostitutes were jokingly referred to as "Hooker's Division.” 10. Shoddy was a fabric woven from a mishmash of other materials, including yarn, wool, and linen. It was used a lot in blankets for the Civil War. | |
| Monday, January 14th, 2002 | ||
| 6:37 am | AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!  You will marry LEGOLAS from Lord of the Rings, live in an ancient elven palace in the middle of the forest, and spend your days walking on top of snow and rowing ivory boats and just being beautiful. What's YOUR M * A * S * H future? | |
| Tuesday, January 8th, 2002 | ||
| 11:25 pm | I do Not want to do homework.  You are Sailor Saturn! You are are most mysterious and ellusive of the sailors. You've gone evil, as Mistress Nine and been resurrected. You're dark, pale, and extremely fragile. Your parents love you enough to give their lives for you. Take the Which Sailor Are You? Quiz! ...created by Kenzie. | |
| Saturday, January 5th, 2002 | ||
| 8:47 pm | What am I doing in lieu of homework?
| |
| 12:03 am | Airhead!
I AM ALIGNED WITH THE ELEMENT AIR! Element: Air Direction:East Celtic Celebration: Spring Equinox (approx. Mar 21st) Personality Traits: Optimism, Intelligence, Mental Quickness Those of the Element Air, tend to be free spirits, creative and fun loving yet intellgent and thoughtful. Find out what element you are aligned with This test created by Celtic_Shamanes | |
| Friday, January 4th, 2002 | ||
| 8:23 am | I have ELF EARS! | |
| 7:09 am | I am a borderline wolf, tho!
My Spirit Animal is the Raven! Cycle of Power: Winter Solstice Aspects: Magick, Shapeshifting and Creation This test made by Celtic_Shamanes | |
| Sunday, December 30th, 2001 | ||
| 4:18 am | I had an interesting dream last night. Several times I had a few of a thin line of people mounted on horses -- bedraggled and thin but just on a high horizon, and I knew they were going to lose the battle, and so I asked the fastest griffon we had to let me ride on him to get aid -- he was usually too proud for that. It was such a weird dream. And then things bleed apart, and there was a comedy on an old rickety stage with labyrinths for backstage, and it was dusk or day, dusk by the end, and at the end everyone went wild and cameras were going off and Kashy was hopping onstage and knew everyone. Heh. I'm not entirely sure where I was. I wish I could remember more details. My griffin was white,, Rosa, happened to be his name. And it didn't sound so damned feminine in the dream. At one point I found his female counterpart, Rosie -- I don't remember more. | |
| Saturday, December 29th, 2001 | ||
| 1:27 pm | ||
| Thursday, December 27th, 2001 | ||
| 6:48 am | I painted Legolas. God I rock. | |
| Wednesday, December 26th, 2001 | ||
| 9:12 pm | I RP... a lot. TOo much. One of my characters is an ELf (what characters of mine aren't elves?) Annnnd. And. And. This character, Elearil, thought his friend Llorinal died. So he wrote a song. Poem. Actually, I wrote it through him, and fucking meter and rhyme-scheme, it turned out well. Quiet dawns the summer sun, its shadow red all through the woods. Softly does the morning come, As if it fears what it shall find. Alas, all night my eyes have known What my heart forbids to see. If only, sun, you would not rise And show me not what you have shown. Empty echoes of my voice, Greet me as the speaking dead. What that I were deaf too, I say, As so not to hear that which I dread. Dear Llorinal, my kin, my friend. Did we begin so late for so early an end? You answer not and so I fear, Your dance is done and death is here. O Llorinal, bright friend and true. O my brother, I dearly miss you. I never write unless I'm depressed. I want solitude. I want complete and utter solitude and SILENCE. But if I'm here, I'm going to sit on the computer and my dad is going to blare the FUCKING TV in my ear. I don't know. I want to go hiking, alone. I want to write something, to create something and have money so the world will not be demanding anything of me. And none of that's fair to ask and of course I'm whining. So why are any of you reading the whinings of a teenager? I'll probably take it all back next week. Blech. I probably hate camping too. | |
| 9:05 pm | I RP... a lot. TOo much. One of my characters is an ELf (what characters of mine aren't elves?) Annnnd. And. And. This character, Elearil, thought his friend Llorinal died. So he wrote a song. Poem. Actually, I wrote it through him, and fucking meter and rhyme-scheme, it turned out well. Quiet dawns the summer sun, its shadow red all through the woods. Softly does the morning come, As if it fears what it shall find. Alas, all night my eyes have known What my heart forbids to see. If only, sun, you would not rise And show me not what you have shown. Empty echoes of my voice, Greet me as the speaking dead. What that I were deaf too, I say, As so not to hear that which I dread. Dear Llorinal, my kin, my friend. Did we begin so late for so early an end? You answer not and so I fear, Your dance is done and death is here. O Llorinal, bright friend and true. O my brother, I dearly miss you. I never write unless I'm depressed. I want solitude. I want complete and utter solitude and SILENCE. But if I'm here, I'm going to sit on the computer and my dad is going to blare the FUCKING TV in my ear. I don't know. I want to go hiking, alone. I want to write something, to create something and have money so the world will not be demanding anything of me. | |
| 7:05 pm |
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| Tuesday, December 18th, 2001 | ||
| 9:03 pm | So. I'm miserable. I hate Nicholson's class. I'm bored in Miss San Juan's class. I'm bored in math and chemistry, nevermind the fact the teachers are excellent: I just don't care for the subjects. I need art. I need to be persuing something that I want. And so, I htink I might take the GED and go to Hayward for a year or two, get my associates degree and take off for UCSC or Juilliard. I just need to be doing something not menial. Not route. Not science or math or business. I want to be creating. And understanding. And I need to not be getting up at 7:00am. | |
