And people laughed at me for buying into the DEVIL!! SUCK ON IT!!

Does your son or daughter call you "moms" or "pops"? Do they say shit like "Herrre", "Sho' Nuf", "Fo' Sho", "Playa", "yeeeee-ah", "Aww HELL naw!" "get up in it" or wear a hat or visor all cocked off to the side? Does he or she wear black baggy pants with K-swiss or white Air Jordan shoes? Has his/her wardrobe gone from Cole, Klein and Armani to Sean John, ECKO, Phat Farm, Nike and Addidas? What about one sock higher than the other?

If any of these traits are visible, smack the shit out of the kid and keep his/her ass away from MTV and the radio. Your kid or relative will do absolutely dick with their lives and chances are will be living around you until they're 30. There is your motivation.

Now, if your kid wears Abercrombie and still wears the hat or visor cocked off to the side, drop them off in the ghetto for a week with a wallet full of cash and credit cards and tell them to have a good time. This method is Guaranteed(!) to spin that hat or visor around the right way and stop the ghetto speak they use altogether.

If you ARE one of these people described above, STOP IT!! Black people don't think you're cool for acting like them. In fact, you're just stealing their culture. If you want culture, find out where in Europe your family came from and learn the language you unoriginal pricks. And don't even try the excuse, "This is who I am!!" You don't even know WHAT you are let alone who. You let MTV dictate who you are, and man, thats just sad. Unless you grew up in Harlem, East St. Louis, or fucking Compton, KNOCK IT OFF! White people have stolen enough from black people over the last few centuries, why start stealing their personalities? Do you honestly expect to be taken seriously by the rest of the world? Why don't you walk up to a big african american fellow the next time you see one and ask, "'Sup nigga?" and see what happens if you're so hard.

*Written by an Upper middle/lower upper class white 20 something studying and working to be a lawyer that is sick of seeing other 20 something people of ANY race/creed acting like idiots, living at home forever, voting for someone because someone famous says so and never working anywhere but fast food places with no drug testing policies. This is merely the first attack of this movement.*

Current Music: Seether feat. Amy Lee - Broken

The strangest shit happened this week.. You wouldn't believe me if I told you. All I will say is that I ran in to someone slightly famous at my hotel in NYC, then not a 3 days later I met the person again at a Cardnials game in STL. Its fuckin nuts.

I could see myself having a lot of sex with Amy Lee (Evanescence chick) if she lost that fuckin eyebrow ring.. We'd have the most musically talented kids ever. lol.

Update on the NY trip coming soon.

Off to Phoenix then San Jose... Who's partyin'?

This Saturday morning/afternoon, try to get a good view of the Hudson. Wave at the poor bastards in NJ and watch about 65 gorgeous powerboats blast through NY Harbor at well over 100 mph. The only slowdowns should be at the George Washington and also the TZB WAY north.

Focker, you might be waking up to the sound of well over 100,000 horsepower worth of racing engines at full throttle. :)

I just saw on CBS news that there are three, 3, THREE(!), horse slaughterhouses in the US and people are trying to shut down the three. First of all, where would we get dog food, glue and gelatin?!? Second of all, they export most of the meat to other countries that have a market for the stuff. Good business hippies. Third, and most important of all, it's a proven fact that horses are even dumber and less aware than cattle. When was the last time you thought about the cow you were eating? And what happens when a horse breaks a leg? You can't repair them without costing more than you've ever invested in the horse, so they get dead and disposed of(buried or burned in a pile). So why let it go to waste?

The next thing I lost it about was a story about "Luna", a not-quite-baby killer whale that found its way into a sound in British Columbia. Activists tried to net it to reintroduce it into its family in the Pacific. Indians in canoes got in the way of the activists because they think Luna is a reincarnation of a chief that died over 100 years ago coming back to visit. The funny thing is that the whale has been knocking the Indians out of their canoes in the river. Now, I'm a fan of all ethnicities except those individuals who try to kill me, but are you serious? A fucking killer whale that knocks you out of your canoes is a reincarnated hero? I think there's been too much smoking of pipes. If that whale stays in the river, it will die. There isn't enough food!! The funny thing is, I bet every one of the living quarters/houses on the reservation have broadband internet and fucking DishNetwork.

Did I mention that Susan Ward was in my hotel the last time I was in NYC? And did I mention she is one of the HOTTEST women on the planet? She could rule the planet on those boobs and face alone.

So.. I just got the newa earlier this evening.. The firm I work for want me to start going towards litigation. If that is the case, I'm thinking of going criminal law.. It always interests me and there is always something new to do. AND it is amazing how many rights citizens have that we don't ever realize. Anyway, my question is, should I start following through with this?

Check this shit out.. And I thought I was a big spender there!!!