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corrugated cardboard

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[31 Jan 2005|11:34pm]
I watched a lot of movies over the winter break, but nothing too awesome. Some Miyazaki movies, Kiki's Delivery Service, Castle of Cagliostro, and My Neighbor Totoro. The Elephant Man, Paths of Glory, and Barry Lyndon were pretty good. Irreversible was the most memorable and possibly most interesting. The Saddest Music in the World was also pretty interesting. My mom seemed to enjoy The Hidden Fortress the most. The word I have said most in this post the most times is 'most.' My grandma seems to think Sideways is the best movie ever made, but I haven't seen it.

Now it's back 2 school.
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[28 Nov 2004|02:38am]
I'm uncertain about things!
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things i've said before [17 Oct 2004|10:58pm]
i find having a car stressful. i would like some aspects of not having one. some disadvantages would be having less of a social life and less freedom to go places related to school or work. i don't work right now though.

in summary:
car - stressful.
no car - some disadvantages.
what i should do about my crappy crappy car that doesn't work and is always expensive to fix - i don't know.
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[02 Oct 2004|09:39pm]
oops...i lost what i was going to post.

the general idea was that i had a dream about insects coming out of my hand, and it looked like a series of flashing superimposed images like something you might see on a tv with bad reception.
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[06 Sep 2004|10:08pm]
I watched Back to the Future II the other day for the 37th time ever, first time in the last ten years. I noticed a lot I hadn't before.

On sunday I went to church with my friend. It was very surreal for me and I felt somewhat guilty for not believing in their religion.
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[30 Jul 2004|12:51pm]
My English final was last night. When I say final I mean paper/presentation deal. That was unpleasant.

I'm told that my flight that was supposed to be at 11:30 pm on July 31 is actually going to be at 1:30 am on the same day.

I haven't flown since I was too young to remember, so it's kind of weird. We're going to be in Hong Kong for 10 hours. I would like to look around, but I don't want to get lost or anything. I feel more pressure not to mess anything up since my younger brother will be with me.

Anyway, that's what's supposed to happen. Going to the Philippines.
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[28 Jul 2004|12:38am]
Some people think I type fast. It doesn't seem like a big deal to me. Sometimes someone will be like "You typed that really fast." and I will respond "Yes, I am aware of that." But other times if I'm really tired or drunk (usually tired) or if the keys are a different size from what I'm used to, It's not so easy. For example, my fingers might repeatedly type the wrong keys. Then I get frustrated. It's times like these that I think "This must be what it's like to not be a skilled typist."
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[26 Jul 2004|07:50pm]
Realization: Heat makes everyone grouchy.
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[26 Jul 2004|12:02am]
I sigh a lot. Sometimes people will say “What’s wrong?” Earlier I sighed deeply and said “Oh man…” to myself. Someone said “What?” So I replied “Oh uh…nothing.” Then usually I’ll make a joke or something, further demonstrating that nothing is wrong. Or so it may seem, but little does this person know I am suffering from DEEP EMOTIONAL ANGUISH. Or maybe not.
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you're kidding me [25 Jul 2004|05:36pm]
What I consider to be my life has to be a dream or a movie. It's getting way too predictable.
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[25 Jul 2004|12:44am]
I try to avoid actions that make other people feel obligated to give a certain response. An example of this would be sneezing. I try not to sneeze, because for the following few moments I'll be thinking about why everyone in the room is or is not saying "bless you." The words seem meaningless, but I somehow interpret whether or not they are said as meaning something. That and I just don't like obligations. I guess I think about other people too much. Or myself. Or both. Saying "I think too much" is one of those ideas I need to stop saying out loud, because it isn't going to change how much I think, and I'll just be wasting everyone's time repeating it over and over.

I've been thinking lately that when I describe myself or something or someone related to me, I'm not accurately describing it, but creating a story loosely based on reality. I exaggerate, simplify, generalize, as if it were the truth. It isn't, but I accept it as the truth and it changes who I am. So if I unknowingly blow a certain aspect of my personality out of proportion, my personality changes to fit that exaggeration.
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[21 Jul 2004|12:10am]
I lost my calculator. I don't have a girlfriend, and yet other people have girlfriends. Why? Why aren't I a dinosaur?
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[19 Jul 2004|12:18am]
This weekend I watched City of God and Japanese Story and enjoyed both. I played some Suikoden (1). I did a tiny bit of research for this English project, which mostly involved going to the library for ten or fifteen minutes. I went to a Japanese study session.

Some former classmates and I were going to go vist a former Chemistry teacher, but it didn't work out. Oh yeah, and I read the Bible someone lent me a little. I'm going to try to call her tomorrow. It will feel weird calling someone late late at night/early early in the morning, despite the fact that it will be around noon there. I also have to get passport photos for my brother and myself.

Sitting in the house all weekend staring at screens warps my perception. Whenever my perception changes noticeably, I start thinking about how there's no standard or "correct" way to interpret everything. Everyone's under the influence of something all the time.

Time is going by so fast.
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[17 Jul 2004|08:01pm]
wow. so this deal with blockbuster, where you can rent all the movies you want for a month...it seems pretty awesome. i've been watching two movies a day for about a week. that may not seem like a lot but i'm also going to school and working part time.

At one point I watched three Willem Dafoe movies in a row. One in which he played an evil gas station worker in a videogame, one in which he was Jesus, and one in which he fought Spider Man.
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ok [13 Jul 2004|10:35pm]
i could talk so much. so much of the talking i do, which isn't that much, is so meaningless.

sometimes i want to not say what i'm about to say for whatever reason, but it seems pointless to try to hide it. i wonder what everything would be like if everyone were entirely honest? everything out in the open.

i wonder if that feeling of really having a deep personal connection with another person is always mutual, or if sometimes the other person is saying 'wooww....what a freak.'

some events i think can be deep and meaningful to one person and not to the other. one time i was talking to someone about not going to this thing, and i basically said that i don't enjoy events that are meant to be fun. that's not what i said, but it's how the person interpreted it, and she was pretty right. and she basically said 'why?' and i said something to cover up the fact that i had no idea.

i grew up believing in saved by the bell.
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[06 Jul 2004|08:47pm]
What annoys me about my english class is that people can randomly string together a sequence of big words and most of the class will think what was said was intelligent and meaningful.

Not that I'm good at english or anything. They just think they're so smart, but everything that comes out of their mouths is meaningless. Really, I'm not trying to say I'm better than them, but my class is full of dumbasses.
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[05 Jul 2004|07:48pm]
i saw a lot of movies this weekend that i didn't really enjoy. The Missing, Spartan, House of Sand and Fog, Big Fish and Matchstick Men.

i also went to the beach.
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[30 Jun 2004|08:04pm]
I have just noticed that when I click something using the mouse on this computer, it plays a "click" sound. The mouse itself also makes a click sound. So what I hear whenever I click is both the mouse clicking and the computer playing an imitation clicking sound through the speakers.
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[29 Jun 2004|10:59pm]
hot hot feet / sad sad song / long gone / camping / smell / in my clothes / essay / never done / half off tea / said too much / red face / smile / memory
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[27 Jun 2004|09:05pm]
ohh maaan...
how could i mess up saying bye to someone at the airport so badly? i could have said "have a nice trip. bye." and it would have been much better. i could have had someone write that down for me on a piece of paper and i could have read it directly from the paper and it would have been acceptable.

anyway...i had fun camping. weird fun. tiring fun.
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