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Tuesday, March 19th, 2002
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4:50 pm
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ganja by bitch and animal is making me really happy right now. its not so much helping me get any work done, but i think i deserve a break. i gave an hour and 15 minute presentation to my entire area, including 6 faculty members, yesterday. i think i'll need a few days to recover. :)
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| Friday, March 15th, 2002
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8:48 am - Rosie
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the rosie special last night was pretty powerful. i think she did an excellent job of sticking to her focus, of challenging that ridiculous law, and of expressing that she wasn't biased towards gay parents -- just thought they deserved their fair shot (IF they were capable parents).
i also thought it was beautiful how hard diane sawyer had to concentrate to keep from laughing in the face of that legislator who thought kids needed to see a stronger, more powerful man and a weaker less dominant woman in order to grow up well. C and I burst into laughter imagining how poorly those labels fit my family (my dad is -- kiddingly -- humbled in the awe-striking presence of my mother). the program did a great job of showing the idiocy of the legislator immediately after he spouted off some complete bullshit about lesbians raising kids 4 times more likely to become gay. they went directly to a segment with the author of the study who cleared up that it was a study of 25 lesbian moms (not the 2000 lesbians the guy had quoted) and found that the children of these moms were more likely to experiment with their sexuality, but none of them identify as gay. i can tell you folks, 25 people is a very small sample size -- and very prone to unreliability.
as someone who has devoted the last 7 years of her life to the study of psychology, i find it hilarious (and painful) that so many people refuse to accept the scientific facts. gay parents don't raise less well-adjusted kids. gay people don't raise kids more likely to be gay. but the anti-gay rhetoric will find some crackpot study conducted with lego people that says otherwise. yep, i'm quite sure god loves you more than me.
its times like these that i realize how many people in this world really do hate me for who i am. i wouldn't change a thing, though.
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| Tuesday, March 12th, 2002
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9:37 pm
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i'm not sure what i think or feel about this andrea yates verdict. but i just have to wonder about a society that thinks it perfectly plausible that someone could be crazy enough to not know it was wrong to kill her kids but does nothing to change it. funny that.
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(comment on this)
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12:27 pm - wild
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| Monday, March 11th, 2002
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6:44 pm
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Visit this website to send e-mails to Jeb Bush and others re the ban on gay adoption in Florida. Also, watch Primetime on Thursday at 9/8c to hear Rosie O'Donnell come out and discuss her personal story.
http://www.lethimstay.com
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| Sunday, March 10th, 2002
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1:09 pm
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i'm trying to edit a presentation on diversity in the classroom, while simultaneously listening to ani (and others on the promo CD) and trying not to weep because I can't see the Laramie Project. I don't know anyone with HBO and I can't afford it, so I'll have to wait for it to come out on video.
I'm also contemplating why I always end up disliking my friends' boyfriends. even when i reallly like them in the beginning and fight for them and try to keep the friend from ditching them when they act like little boys. I think it is because the boys always end up feeling threatened by me for various dumb reasons and start competing with me for the friend's attention. how silly. just because i'm a lesbian does not mean that i want to sleep with all of my friends. even if it did in college. :) seriously, though, its quite painful to bite your tongue when friends read boyfriends' lame poetry to you and you think he's a loon. C and I found relief -- we write bad poetry about him (yes, there is a certain HIM currently).
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| Monday, March 4th, 2002
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9:03 pm - geography
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For the last few seconds now
I have been travelling
up one slope and down the other side
of some of those unchristianed hills
we could call your breath.
Hello. Tonight I have only
my impossibility to thank
for letting me propose
that landscapes know when they are loved.
That light, when it approaches earth,
slows down
to take on passengers
without misshaping them.
That's right. This coastline flies.
En route between the ends and means
it demonstrates affection
by bending toward the harbor
of a nightingale
or dreaming up the grenadine effect
of dawn on a guitar. Oh my.
Why did we bother to invent a god
when every common thing
elicits and supports a miracle,
issues light like a command?
I could love you, probably,
with mroe perspective
from the narrow, straight-backed chair
in the adjoining room -- or,
granted that hypothesis,
from a chalet on the moon.
But then I wouldn't get to trace
the steep, unfolding curves
of your geography;
then I wouldn't get to watch
the wave your eyelashes will make
as they rise
and the whole world
moves away from you.
---tony hoagland
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8:30 am
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My world-travelling friend brought me back from her latest trip: a rolling machine from amsterdam, vodka from sweden, cigarettes from france, and chocolate from switzerland. I love people who feed my vices. :)
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| Friday, March 1st, 2002
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12:25 pm - i wanted girl, interrupted...
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9:28 am
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now that the Olympics have ended, i realize that most of the reason why i liked salt lake city was because something big was about to happen here. now, its happened. i feel like we're the whore that got used and thrown away and now everyone's going to look the other way when they pass. i miss living on the east coast, where everything is just an hour away. where bitch and animal are playing 10 minutes from my parent's house tonight. where ani difranco plays solo dates. where they actually film episodes of trading spaces and a dating story. ah, the memories.
if i can just get through the semester, summer will be fabulous.
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| Thursday, February 21st, 2002
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5:09 pm
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today they (they=the government, i suppose) finally had enough evidence to release the fact that daniel pearl is dead. his wife, another journalist, repeatedly asked the terrorists who held him to take her instead. how utterly sad. it doesn't take much courage to get a group of goons together and kill one man. i'm all for fighting for what you believe in, standing up for yourself and your values. but what kind of a value is murder? he was a journalist for crap's sake, he had no pull in the government, he didn't bomb afghanistan, he wanted to understand and give a voice to this thing that average person has such a hard time understanding. but i guess that doesn't matter. apparently there is a new plan in the works for dealing with terrorists whereby ransom will be paid for the return of hostages. this was never the U.S.'s policy before and for reasons that I can understand (any U. S. citizen could then be kidnapped by a money monger with the reasonable belief that a big ol chunk of cash would be paid for his or her return). i hate living in a world where this is my reality. so, what will i do? i'll go make falafel and pita for my beautiful girlfriend, watch the Olympics and dream that the world is really like Richard Bach writes about. Where instead of wars we have huge international competitions with war-like simulations, where every person with an urge to shoot can battle it out for the gold medal (and associated bragging rights) on the playing field. sure, its idealistic, simplistic, and maybe a bit stupid. but, fuck it would be nice for a change.
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| Wednesday, February 20th, 2002
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8:50 pm - designer imposters
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just sent my friend Sonia pictures of me and her dog. we're dog-sitting while she treks around Europe, including 4 days in amsterdam (if you know what i mean). i am a good friend. someone i met in Savannah told me (b/c she thought that i was in love with sonia and she with me) that you have to be at least half-way in love with your friends or else you'll never keep them around forever. that struck a cord in the deep recesses of my yesterdays, but i shrugged it off b/c i was drunk, it was 5am, i hadn't slept, and we were in a stinky van on the way to the airport. this was pointless. :)
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| Saturday, February 16th, 2002
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10:14 am
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note to self: renting and watching dancer in the dark and the smokers in the same night is not a good idea. i really sort of detest bjork's music (tho I love her voice, oh the humanity) and i'm a little angry that her performance made me sob so hard that i couldn't breath. it was a good movie. we rented the smokers b/c it had the new girl (audrey) from Dawson's in it. she was amazing, but....well, let's just say it doesn't end well.
we ended the night with before sunrise on cable, which is an amazing movie that i haven't seen since it came out my senior year of high school. i remember thinking that would happen to me one day. ok, so it didn't and it probably won't, but i've had my share of magic.
i hate the olympics. if i hear one more word about that canadian figure skating pair being "robbed", i'm going to stick a fork in my eye. i love canada, but those two were mean and spiteful. the look on the sale's face when she saw the marks for the russian team that skated before her made me want to jump through the TV and give her a piece of my mind. (actually, she was physically only a few miles away from me, but i didn't care that much). i know its exciting to think you have a chance at the highest prize, but have some class. it's karma, baby. they got the medal in the end, but not the way they wanted it. and that french judge was SCARY!!
current mood:  tired
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| Tuesday, February 12th, 2002
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9:07 am - i hope that's a hippo
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| Thursday, February 7th, 2002
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9:20 pm - soooooooooooo...
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just got home from seeing the olympic torch relay. it was an experience, but it was fucking cold. so, the best part was this truck (part of the pre-torch caravan). it was an old gray van with two old gray MEN (this will soon become important) in it. the van was covered with anti-choice propaganda and photos of aborted fetuses and severely deformed babies. nice. fucking nice. i was on the phone with my mom or i would have come up with fucking something to say. two old men. ummmm...when's the last time you had a uterus? C was totally pissed, and so was i, but i told her that freedom of speech is important. if we want to march in gay parades and make our voices heard, we have to put up with the voices of others. even if they are idiots. k. my rant.
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| Monday, February 4th, 2002
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1:39 pm - zimbardo
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that was.....interesting. the conference was amazing, i heard wonderful talks, met lovely people, ate free food. it was the hours not at the concert that were truly unbelievable. met the only other 5 social psychologists who aren't utterly boring and lame. spent all weekend with them. ate morrocan food with my hands (i'm ocd with handwashing, so this was a huge deal). watched drag queens and belly dancers. drank until 3am both nights. got hit on by locals. got nearly attacked by a straight drunk guy in a gay bar. i got on a plane drunk after no sleep.
there were other interesting things. things that took me back immediately to those nights in college when i'd stay up for a thousand hours writing in my journal and thanking the goddess that i wasn't boring. that despite my simple place in life, amazing things and people still happened to me. it was life affirming. and dramatic. two of my favorite things.
current mood: tired
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| Tuesday, January 29th, 2002
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11:46 pm - gasp
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leaving for savannah thursday morning. i hatehatehate packing for/getting to conferences. i think this will be fun. sonia and i want to bring autograph books and cameras, because for us these people are our celebrities. they do amazing work and make the world a better (better=at least better understood) place to live. we have decided to get good and drunk at least one night, but no so drunk that either of us vomit on our advisors. altho, at times, i really want to.
my advisor began a gay alliance for SPSP (society for personality and social psychology) and i'm pretty proud of her for that, considering that she was completely closeted at our old university. its such a necessary thing, but at the same time i'm gonna feel sort of silly in a room full of gay people who are not a) dancing on speakers, b) chanting "hey hey ho ho homophobia has got to go", or c) my friends. i hope its not icky. sonia will be there, tho, so at least we can shun/befriend people together.
C is asking me a question. i must go now.
current mood:  giddy
current music: C saying "i'm feeling good, i think"
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| Saturday, January 26th, 2002
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4:38 pm - who didn't know that.............
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4:38 pm
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i cheated on the below test to get clea duvall. just being honest. :)
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11:30 am - who i am then
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last night was part 2 in the post-Master's proposal celebration. we were all supposed to go see life as a house at the dollar theatre (which you can walk to from dave, ali, and jason's place...the lucky fucks), but once various words, phrases, and controlled substances were passed around the table a few times, plans went out the window.
it was strange. these kids are exactly my crowd (minus some zen tae chi stuff that sort of makes me laugh)...prayer flags on the front porch, meditation room, they even have a popasan (sp?) couch. how did i find them in grad school? we sat around all night passing around a notebook to make random entries of things people said.
taken out of context i must seem so strange. ..................
tonight, sonia will make us bruchetta and vegetarian lasagna. yum.
current mood:  content
current music: the vague hangover hum in my head
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