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Wednesday, May 12th, 2004
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4:15 pm - surprise surprise!
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WELL HOWWWWWDY!
Just a few random letters strung together to say i am still alive. But of course at least *I* knew that! Just some of you may not've.
That, and, I was inspired to do this again, since Pip is! Although this piece will say nothing, it may nudge me in the right direction towards writing other more MEANINGFUL things in the near future!
I'm actually having one of those dreadful days where you not only seem to get nowhere, but can't even get started on the things you SHOULD be doing. So I am off for a walk, to get some fresh air, and contemplate the priorities for the time left until sundown.
Yum....strawberries and cream...Andrew, my new spark, KNOWS what I like!! *big smile*
hope you are all well. ta ta for now!...look for more installments soon!
current mood:  pissed off
current music: whirring of computer..and does chupa chup sucking count??
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(1 objection | speak now or forever hold your peace)
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| Thursday, July 3rd, 2003
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11:51 pm - I'm SICK OF THIS JOINT!!!!
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Really peeved about not getting to move into yet ANOTHER place I actually LIKED in town....grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....chopping vegetables did help.
And two people seperately said they'd visit and didn't show for diff reasons...what gives man!?????
So, I'm packing my bags, and going home for a while. May I add it takes me MORE than forever to pack, b/c everything I want to take is packed up in boxes and bags (as mentioned in journy recently)...and it's all at the bottom...
Yay.....one person turned up....the day gets better! (just before midnight)
um..not much else that's worth typing for now, and I have a visitor!
more logging soon :)
ewwww....7 hrs travelling on my arse tomorrow....stinks!
current mood:  bored
current music: bachelor girl-first album
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(speak now or forever hold your peace)
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| Wednesday, July 2nd, 2003
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12:15 pm - I hate losing entries!!
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just wrote a lovely big entry about not knowing what day it is, and finding my claddagh ring
http://claddaghrings.com/images/gemset/S2381large.htm
(like this one but plain silver (no stones around the edge) with an amethyst gem heart).
It was left behind in my old uni room (miss it already) and my lovely cleaner, Trina (yeah, it's funny) found it underneath draw liner paper!! arrghhh
Lunch with thefink in 45mins.yay!! then I have to go look at a house WAY off from the centre of town to see if I like it.
And i made a note of how good Loreal Paris Dermo-Expertise face cleansers are...cheap (under $10 each product) and smell nice. I got suckered in by the brainwashing ads on tv.
HAve a great day....and I better keep a better track of the log date on here, I keep losing work!!!!
bye..... :)
current mood:  hungry
current music: triplej again!!
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(speak now or forever hold your peace)
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| Monday, June 30th, 2003
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10:24 pm - under obs and other stuff!!
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I've been TOLLLLLD to update...and since I'm seeing thefink for lunch tomorrow, I better do this b4 I see her!!!
Currently.....I'm living out of boxes....and bags, and wire baskets and a PLASTIC BLOODY WARDROBE!!! It's only funny for so long....I spent ages putting the wardrobe together, b.c the poles were cut to the wrong size. Fun-for-all.
Anyway, I'm living at my sister's until I find a place to dump me and my things, to look for work and save moolah!
Today is one of those exciting memorable days "on account of" I got a package in the mail today!
And not just ANY package...my german module A and tapes!!!! Really happy to get something to do, and sat in front of the tele happily colouring my map in and joining up the mix and matches and whatnot! should keep me busy for 6 months.
I'm actually on edge alot due to Philby leaving on Thursday night. I feel like crying alot if I'm not distacted long enough. I hope to hear from him soon, and want to call him, but know I have to wait for him to call me....he needs time to adjust.
I have a little saying that goes "The only difference between Austria and Australia is two letters!!!" I know Phil doesn't read my journal....but I MISS YOUUUU!!!!
In other news I saw some lovely "things" (people) today whil waiting 1/2 hour for the bus...
A little girl with her grandma..and the GRANDMA was carrying a baby doll in a basket covered in a blanket....presumably for the girl!!
Oh, and a young guy...teenager I guess....the sort with shoulder length blonde curls and a calm face. WEARING A CARDIGAN with his hands in the little pockets and loafers with holes and sporting a small square shoulder bag of the slighty hippy variety. I just smiled as he walked past. I bet he was going to check out Don Tuckwell's cd shop down the road. He looked so amicable..that's all I was thinking...really calm and someone I'd like to talk to. But I could be wrong!!!
OH!! And speaking of shoes, there was a guy passing me walking in those old dunlop volleys...and they were not only grotty, but had old hand-painted black stripes!! Just for something different!! hehehe
I made tuna mornay last night, and it was a big hit!
Other than that...no real news..I'm a bit boring at the moment. Too many lj moments slipped past me and never made it in here. :(
no job
no house that is mine
no boyfriend on the same CONTINENT (!!!!!)
NOOOOO CHOCOLATE!!!!!
I know it's sad to admit this but I'm looking forward to seeing Anoushka from Manchester, UK turning up in Aus to crash our big brother 3.....told you I'm boring!!
And since the last journal, for anyone that's browsing, I also got my appendix out in october last year, right after I finished that work....wouldn't mind more work right now!!!! Does anyone out there need someone to kiss feet for $5 an hour!!???? (sorry...old joke from high school job hunting!)
Ich mus gehan
(i have to go)
Mit lieb, guten nacht
(with love, goodnight...."to be said ONLY just before you go to bed" or you log off!!)
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
current mood: dirty
current music: triple jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!! (best radio station)
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(1 objection | speak now or forever hold your peace)
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| Thursday, October 3rd, 2002
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12:01 pm - today is the first day
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of te rest of my life without the job I've had for the last five weeks.
Actually..i still did it this morning, but it was the last one!!!!
Will ahve to wait a while 'til I get all the money...*twiddling thumbs*
(note to self...don't sit at the computer with the f***ed mouse!!GRR!)
I got to dissect a sheep kidney today :D Very cool thing!!
DID YOU KNOW???? -that the kidneys filter 180 litres of blood EVERY DAY!? Then you only piss about 1.5 litres.....ha! You know now.
I'm so lucky. I get to wake up early again tomorrow for the 5th day in a row "on account of" dining hall wants me to do the 7am start! I'd be there eating creal by that time anyway :p
I just got paaaaaid!! I can go and give people money now :)
"awwww..i wanted a peanut!..*brain thinks* "$20 can buy many peanuts." Explain how! "Money can be exchanged for goods and services" -homer j simpson.
I still hate magpies with a PASSION, and carried a stick over the hill today, waving it about, and breaking into a sweat b/c i'm wearing a black t-shirt and missed the bus, and had to be at class in 5 mins!! :) Man I look crazy nearly ALL the time....I've been marching about like a ghostbuster for the last 5 weeks before 9am..hehe
anyway..must run, I forgot what i had to say....oh oh!!!!
Daria's on tonight!!!! ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND..
I was given a book on palmistry last night, from my baby Laura...it's SOOO AWESOME!!! I have found some great stuff out....now to wait and se if it happens.
I will have to put some things in here, and see what ppl think, whether they sound accurate.
Elisha has also brought her book on chinese astrology (The animal stuff)...it rocks too.
I'm sorry I haven't journied up til today. I was getting ready for an exam and haven't been on here since monday...i think.
The weather is fantastic here. ALMOST too hot :)
Love you all *jojo*
p.s photo shoot is next week. yay..I mean...shit!
p.p.s last night on angela anaconda, they did a take on the wizard of oz..! I love that show.
current mood:  bouncy
current music: *genie in a bottle* -sounds great on the radio!!
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(speak now or forever hold your peace)
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| Friday, September 27th, 2002
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1:34 pm - WARNING: the following contains contents that may disturb some viewers! (or readers)
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Minutes for the SAME meeting 16 September 2002
Meeting commenced 7:45 pm
In attendance: Christie-Lee, Steven, Martin, Greg
Chairman: Alec
Notes: Marty
Item 1 Calender
We now have a full twelve people to pose for the calender and they are:
Martin, Alec, Steven, Phil, Brendon, Christie-Lee, Zoe, Dee, Kira, Bec, Jo and another male who wises not to be identified.
It was also suggested at a previous meeting that we have a big group photo of all of the models, but as all of the months are now covered it was suggested that we do this photo as pare of a 2004 page.
Scott, who is doing a bachelor of photography, will now be taking the photos.
There is also talk about having personal bios to accompany the pictures, but that will be discussed with the models when the photos will be taken.
Yes folks......i can't believe it EITHER!!! I've agreed to be in a freakin NUDE calendar!! ARGHHHH! It's kinfd of a buzz if I don't pee myself first! The photos are maybe being taken in a few weeks. I'm "packin' it".....
I haven't got much time to write now, but I've just been on holidays for almost three weeks. Holidays....no sorry....I meant trying to catch up but doing a week's paid work, and mucking around....no sex the WHOLE TIME!!! I even had a chance and KNOCKED it back.... I'm actually starting to straighten up my life! HA!
MY health is FABULOUS since the tonsillectomy..it's been close to eight weeks. :) Well, I've been great for the last three. No sore throats, no spewing.
I'm beefing up since i started a morning job cleaning, only 3 days a week. I've been to the gym a bit. I now have 3 casual jobs; the cleaning, that will end next thursday, laundry that i guess is over, since everyone who works will be back from hols, and casual work in dining hall! I'm working for uni, but not doing uni work. IT's BAAAYYYYYYY-ID.
I can't wait for everyone to be back. My hug supply is just about dry. Still, I like the time alone. More space to think.
Many issues going on up here *taps head*...like, "why do I still love him???" and "why do i need to look at them like THAT??"
Gotta run....please forgive my lack of entries. Expect them more regularly from next monday....I know I am!!
p.s I'm writing a story on funky smells....it's hoping to be fuuny, and I am too :)
love you all xox
p.s have a new stack of cds; harry connick jr, some jazz and classical, apollo 13 soundtrack, and hope to burn some others this week...yay..
p.p.s the whitlams are coming to wagga wagga soon!
p.p.p.s i've just about learnt the 50 states of the US in alphabetical order!! :p
p.p.p.p.s DARIA was fantastic last night. ALot of depth to the characters...never lets me down...sigh. I taped it.
current mood:  busy
current music: "songs i've heard" album by harry connick jr ....booya!
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(2 objections | speak now or forever hold your peace)
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| Monday, August 5th, 2002
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4:45 pm - we're off to see the wizard!!
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"the wonderful wizard of oz...we hear he is a whiz of a whiz"
because he'll take my tonsils out..!!!
yes folks...AT LASTTTTT....going ot get my tonsils out..probably wednesday. so I'm going on the XPT tomorrow to sydney.It was only organised a week ago, and I've been battling with a cold trying to get it pissed off so I can go ahead with the op. I'll miss a fair chunk of uni (a third of the term..grrr), but seriously, this HAS to be done!! I need to steer clear of the penicillin...(building a pyramid as it is!)
I can't stay and chat long, as the washing will get damp if left on the line too long.
I hope you all have some great moments while I'm away.....I'll have a few of my own!!! (some very boring too, now I think of it!)
Yesterday I was able to get in touch with dad (that's synchronicity at it's finest!!), and I can't wait to show him "the gas we pass. The story of farts" ..which is a book i got imported from the US! He was giggling when I told him about it.
Last night I made two discoveries....I'm deformed (more on THAT later perhaps..) and need to keep better track of things! I lost my train ticket that I only bought on friday!!! Pretty stupid....but I hope to improve on this habit soon.
My "find your inner child week" was a HUGE success!! Elisha and I did lots of crazy things like light sparklers, draw on the bricks with chalk (I have photos...yay), eat funny face iceblocks, colour in simpsons pictures, watched Willy Wonka in DUTCH (!) and built a cubby house to watch it...oh! And on saturday we jumped in puddles for about 30 mins......turns out the "domanican republic" has the best carpark for such activities! I ate dinner with my hands last night too....he he ...who cares right?
Well, there's the brief.
I just tried to claim some tax online but the site isn't working .grrrr at some broken things!
take care all, love you lots...jojo xoxoxo
current mood:  excited
current music: Cirque Du Soleil "collection" ..awesome CD!!
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(4 objections | speak now or forever hold your peace)
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| Wednesday, July 31st, 2002
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1:13 pm - ode to blonde jokes
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simply HAD to slip this one in!!!
hope you laugh too :)
will report what's going on soon, love jojo xox
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun.
She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry.
She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief.
She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it." The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"
current mood:  sick
current music: someone playing guitar downstairs
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(speak now or forever hold your peace)
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| Monday, July 15th, 2002
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11:42 am - Update on current status..
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Patient's recent history:
saturday: feeling a bit queasy..had lunch anyway, then tried to "sleep off" the gut aches, but they wouldn't go.
2:00pm: vomiting started..said hello to my lunch...eww
3:30pm: rang mum (as you do) just for reassurance, she said she'd call back after 7pm.
6pm: started puking bile....my favourite!
7pm: mum rings....I've been spewing and had diarrhoea since she last rang. Tells me to stay in bed, and sit it out. Drink sips of water. Every time I did I vomited again.Totally gross, and full stomach, gut-wrenching workout.
Living in ultimate hellish state of nausea.
10pmish: spoke to Fruity on the phone. he said to ring later if I needed to.
11pm...couldn't stand it any longer. rang fruity and told him to meet me at the hospital. Rang my buddy ben down the hall, and he drove me in.
11:15pm: at hospital waiting room....still spewing a bit.Oh blessed $1 bucket, how I love thee!!! (took it with me)
3:30 freakin AM: FINNNNALY get a little bed, after lying on the FLOOR in pain, or all over fruity, or on fruity's jumper on the floor! Ben left a while ago. Have been watching babies and kids who arrived after me get attention....grr..
4AM: Fruity goes (thanks for being so patient!!).
5AM: as far as I remember I saw a great doctor who talks about my tonsils, and maybe I should see an immunologist since this is the 5th time since January, and it ALWAYS happens every eight weeks....weird....even ON penicillin. (which by the way, I'mstill on!)
Got a shot of maxollin in the arse, and two panadeine-forte (great pain killers! need to have a prescription for them usually).
Had a nap.
6:15AM: woke up...rang benny, who came and got me.
7:00AM: rang mum.....
stayed in bed nearly all day. had jelly...dinner and dessert was the best in ages..missed out on fried rice!!! and meringues. damnnnit. sunday was gone....
current stomach contents: two pieces of toast and oj.
My horoscope that day said:
"Saturday, July 13 2002.
You might be feeling that someone or something in particular is dominating your life a bit too much right now. You could make a few mistakes but, if you're smart, you'll learn some important lessons from those mistakes. "
ok.....we'll see....
This is soooo totally anal..
I wish I could find out how Az went with the news, and telling his brother.
can't WAIT to see everyone here...i think I already said that the other day.
the girl next to me has moved to St Francis...only the MOST EXPENSIVE place to live on campus!!! I think her parents want her to live with less distractions.
Forgot to mention i bought KNEE HIGH RAINBOW SOCKS!!!!! I've wanted them for YEARS, so I didn' tmind forking out nearly $18..they look so fun! They had to send them in the mail from sydney, so I was even more excited to get home!! Was fun to get them in the mail when I got home. They look great,but seriously...my legs aren't THATTTTT big at all, and they are a bit tight!! Now I need a sexy-arse skirt to wear with them!!! And some Docs like Daria wears....THAAAAAAT would certainly be cool too.... only they cost $160 odd, so it ISN'T going to happen for ages.
I have dreams....and happy moments in my day.
the three essentials for happiness:
1. something to do
2. something to love
3. something to hope for
i love that :)
by the way..I found a garfield pic today...need to spice the place up a bit!!! gumby is still cool too :D
be good, love you xoxox
p.s when I realised galaxybounce (ryan) is gay...I nearly fipped out......got busted again! (being attracted to a gay guy) D'ohhhh!!!
current mood: sore
current music: The Superjesus- jet age acoustic
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(speak now or forever hold your peace)
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11:36 am - very INteresting!!!
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"Macho Mars rules our most assertive, aggressive nature. And from mid-July through the end of August, the Red Planet will be visiting Leo the Lion, the most dramatic, spotlight-oriented sign in the heavens.
The result? Keep an eye out for fireworks with your current love interest: bold leaps, passionate outbursts, sexy plot twists. Are you ready? Check your wardrobe, your email and your datebook, and get ready for some drama. With Mars in Leo, it's time for the curtain to rise on love!"
I'm waittttting.......
Oh and here is one slightly older, which makes me wonder, b/c I was SERIOUSLY trying to behave around a certain someone that day (I hope that won't freak you out, if you read this.....the fact that you couldn't tell, and I never DID anything should be reassuring enough).
"Saturday, July 6 2002
Some matters involving your friends or loved ones may be a little confusing today. And it might seem like there just isn't enough time to figure out exactly what's going on right now. There's also a chance that you could become attracted to a new romantic interest today. But you might not be able to make much progress until you've sorted out a few things first. "
Not a new interest, but still interested!!
current mood: bouncy
current music: Serina Paris -debut album teeny bopper stuff!
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(speak now or forever hold your peace)
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| Friday, July 12th, 2002
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1:02 pm - the new me!
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how do i look!???
I always liked a greeen complexion....he he...found this on a SERIOUS retro surf...HA! went looking at pez (again), astroboy (found lyrics!!), retro t-shirts, like strawberry shortcake and carebears! ARGH!! he he...and, of course, GUMBY! Found out some great stuff...
anyway, had no trouble loading the pic, as it was a perfect 100x100 pixels!! YEEHA!
I love visiting the fun past. Makes me giggle and feel so carefree.
take care.....love from jojo and gumby....and his pals pokey, prickle and goo....."he will walk through the walls if you want him tooooo" . :D
current mood: childish
current music: deep forest album comparsa
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(speak now or forever hold your peace)
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11:00 am - uh-oh
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now I'm here finally, I have to say something clever!!! The PRESSURE!
Well....I've been all over the place, home, Newcastle, Sydney, Gosford. I slept in 7 different beds,saw two musicals (one pro, one amateur) and more than 50 people and travelled for over 35 hrs!
I'm really not in the mood for writing right now. I need a cable from my head to download onto here the things I want to put in when I get some cool ideas.
I came home (wagga) to discover my ex has a girlfriend..Once again my intuition has been very in tune, and I sensed it the moment I got back. He only told me once I asked him yesterday what he was doing.....the obiterdictum was : "just hanging out with my girlfriend..grunt" ....grrrrrrrrrrr...need to put signs up everywhere so I can hate him!!!!!
I have discovered a new journal community where you can vent and put secrets in...hmm..I think someone was after some action! A clever idea....and a GREAT read I hope! I'll have to join up, and not tell anyone...hehe...
My awesome lecturer Debbie has told us on the forum *bang bang bang bang, goes the man putting in carpet..how OBNOXIOUS!*...anyway, she said we are starting with the respiratory system, which is her specialisation, so I can't wait! It means I can read ahead...the third week we are starting the cardiovascular system.
One more week of holidays...that's 6 steak sandwiches to go in my time! (we get free "greasy spoon" to the value of $5 a day during the week, and a S.sandwich is normally $3...they are the BEST in the world!!!!)
I'm so bored. Well...bored as in unmotivated....I have PLENTLY to do! Maths, reading novels, textbooks, sewing, bike riding, washing, letter writing, cleaning, etc....
I can't WAIT til everyone gets back. It's been just as lovely without them though. Hooray for time to myself...
Oh!!! I bought some new cds and clothes and perfume when I was away..the jeans i bought are sparkly and SO tight, and SO cheap ($30).!!! I'm going to get lots of cds burnt soon....mmm...all for me!
Ok..I'm done..nothing special.
p.s I'm close to "stepping out"...he he he he...not sure how yet. should be REALLLLY interesting! I'm feeling BRAVE!
p.p.s I watched the Daria movie wih Pip, and LOVED IT!!
"That was fun...let's just save time next time and roll in gravel" -Jane Lane
current mood:  contemplative
current music: Michelle Branch's new album.
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(2 objections | speak now or forever hold your peace)
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| Sunday, June 30th, 2002
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4:07 pm - something else..
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DARIA KISSED TOM!!!!!
then Jane and Tom broke up....it was the most intense Daria episode ever..silly I know.....but I've been waiting for action for months!!!! and I nearly didn't get to see it b/c someone was watching the news! I managed to flick the channel just before all the action..hooray. That was the last episode of that series, and a new one starts next week..
Yesterday morning the ABC showed a DARIA movie!!! I couldn't see it, since I was doing stocktake, so FINGERS AND TOES CROSSED Pip taped it!!!
Will report more soon.... ;p
I love daria :D
current mood: excited
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(2 objections | speak now or forever hold your peace)
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3:50 pm - people change like the weather.
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Last night he told me....
He's NOT gay......the love of my love for more than three years, who is MORE gay than anyone I know (almost!)....isn't.
I've been ignoring it for six months now, and he slipped it into the 2 hr conversation last night, as a wonderful little obiterdictum (not).
I'm at least glad that he told me himself (someone else told me the gay news only this time two years ago), and it was before anything gets rocky, as his family doesn't know yet. I am lucky to have a week to get used to this idea.
I'm shocked, devastated, slightly overwhelmed and relieved all at once. It took me a while to get to sleep.
But hey.....the thing is that I was actually in love with someone for that long who wasn't gay AFTERALL! (my one and only saving grace, as so many guys I know and love ARE gay)
I also had another thought from the positive angle..
He was kind in that even if he did like me, and I'm sure he didn't in that way EVER, well, he was never WITH me....because if he ever broke up with me I'm sure I'd take a beating and it would be so excrutiating to deal with. I was THAT much in love.....so at least we never had to deal with that.
I had enough trouble simply beating myself up over trying to get over not being able to be WITH him, let alone get over BEING with him.
anyway.....i simply HAD to write something....it's been said.
sorry for not writing these holidays. I'm slack still....nothing in my life has changed there.....I'm gaining a "spine" (to not cheat with guys!! huhzaa!)...but other than that, still the same jojo.
I still have enlarged tonsils, I still flirt, I still pine for old flames, and I still put of uni work (maths at the moment).
I have to go get the washing now-as soon as I geta few more tunes from this HOT cd!! "the Dave brubeck quartet" ....sexy stuff!! (jazzy)
take care, love jojo xoxox
current mood: shocked
current music: the dave brubeck quartet- best of album
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(4 objections | speak now or forever hold your peace)
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| Monday, June 10th, 2002
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3:33 pm - just a note
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go here for a good giggle jojo:
www.gaijindesign.com/lawriemalen (b/c I am never on the same puter to bookmark it!)
this website is very well designed...not my game, but I LOVE the look!
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(speak now or forever hold your peace)
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3:21 pm - P>S
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3:16 pm - Lawriemalen.....you champion!
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I love getting all these great little pop quizes (oh how I love them! I like guessing games too!).
the latest is from lawriemalen (his journal is so awesome, layout wise!!!haven't read it yet...better do that..).
check this out:
:: how jedi are you? ::
I find this totally hysterical, since i know JACK .... about star wars! Still...looks good on my resume! :)
*scoff*.....anyway...*smiling, with pen in mouth sideways*
I better keep studying. Today I'm looking at microbiology tutorial answers I never got, or went to get...(uh-oh)..and chatting aoccassionally on icq (my bad!)...and checking out my journal buddies, for a break.
Two days to go, then two exams, then FIVVVVVE weeks off!!! HOORAH! Really loving living right now..! :)
be good....love jojo xoxox
current mood: busy
current music: "both sides of the story"- Phil Collins
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(speak now or forever hold your peace)
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| Wednesday, June 5th, 2002
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1:43 pm - let's try that again
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I don't seem able to make a decent bash of journies lately...hmph.
always many things i want to put in, but never the courage, the time, or i forget, to do it! Bah-humbug.
Things have been crazy as of late, but anyone that knows me will know that I generally dramatise EVERYTHING, and makes things complicated...even little things.
I've been to the doctor to see if I actually have OCD (really dodgy habits, and they get more frequent when I'm stressed).we spoke for an hour, and I told her all about things going on, and have gone on inthe past. She slapped a trial box of Zoloft in my hands (one of the heaviest SSRI drugs there is), and sent me off with a script for more, and the advice that i could go away and think.
That was a week ago. Yesterday I went to see the counsellor, Paul. he's really great. Again...spoke to him for an hour. I ad originally gone to see him about CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy), but we ended up doing the whole "Background info" session, and we were getting onto the track that maybe I should rethink why I'm here...b/c I'm so bloody unmotivated! Haven't been really into the work, that and I've been sick lots since uni started.
I was thinking nearly all afternoon and evening about what I shoud do....it's just that uni is SECURE....I may suck at it righ tnow, but I have food, a bed, money each week for a few things...amazing support from friends, a free doctor, counsellor....cheap internet.
I don't think I can leave all of it..
I've sort of decided, at least for NOW, that I will try my hardest to press on, since I'm so blessed to have all these things (and people around me), and see how I go next semester. I will hopefully not get so sick (HOPE HOPE HOPE), and I only have three subjects, so the pressure will be off already.
The counsellor asked me what KEY things are worrying me....I said "failing"..and went into details for a while.
I was thinking in my head...."what about the OTHHHER thing!?" ..and i was talking to myself saying "don't you dare!..no, I dare you to...say it! say it!" But I didn't.....I'll let that sit for a bit..
Um..I have not MUCH else to add right now.
-should be working on a report. It's waiting at home...soon baby!
-have been talking to a "friend" online, and now he says he's broken his leg, and was writing to me from his hospital bed. I don't know hwat to believe, but after alll the other tripe in my past, I'm HIGHLY skeptical! will keep you posted on that. I actually found him through random journal searching!
-finally got a friend off my back that was after me. I did like him b4, but lost interest when I knew he was keen too. And I don' think he's my type.
-my panic attacks around the ex have reduced alot, and I even sat across from him at lunch today. All he did was talk about wrestling...and what's happening in his class.....man...sooooo getting over THAT! (well trying hard)
- a few new love interests have sparked, but I haven't said anything yet..toooo scary...!
-not long 'til I get some time to myself...but then, I make alot of it in term anyway...
I hope you're all well, and I can write some good stuff next episode....'til then.....*hugs* ...xox -jojo-
current mood: busy
current music: good morning vietnam soundtrack
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(speak now or forever hold your peace)
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| Monday, June 3rd, 2002
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8:35 am - "gum chewing's fine when it's once in a while"...
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| Sunday, June 2nd, 2002
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9:49 am - Ohhhhhh :(
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didn't work....sod it..never mind....it's on my photo page under...ermm....artworks, or other stuff I think...
back ot the drawing board! ;p
current mood: deflated
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(speak now or forever hold your peace)
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amused