04:01pm 11/01/2004
  What does it feel like to be happy? I'm afraid I can't remember.
I am simultaneously frustrated and angry. Not a good, productive combination. I need to work on anger management this weekend.		  
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10:04pm 08/01/2004
  -Got an early entry to the auto show today. Not bad. I'm too tired to care right now though. This cold is really kicking my ass lately.
-David Bowie tomorrow.
-I need a vacation and a massage. BIG TIME!!!!!!
-Shower not working well. Hot water just pisses out. Must investigate that on the weekend.
-Cleaning ladies rock my world.
-I'm missing some bacon. Very strange.
-Liquid shot gun is calling...night.
k.		  
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Ramblings   
10:04pm 06/01/2004
  Didn't go to work today...or school. I'm still sick and it appears that it is getting worse. Just what I need....to start off behind the ball. Spent the day sleeping, cleaning up a bit, and watching tv. Haven't done that in a long time. Not sure that I'm ready to go back to bed but I have to in order to get up for work tomorrow. I'm doing a lot of thinking lately.....mainly on life in general. Things are going too fast too soon and I'm not sure that I'm getting what I want/need out of it. So the question once again is do I slow down or speed up and get through the necessary stuff? This particular question has been plaguing me for some time. I'm still struggling with other issues as well - health, relationships, career, music, school, family. Same shit as most people. My Dad is still in the hospital but he's been moved out of ICU which is good. Haven't got an update since Sunday night so I assume things are still the same. That's about all for now. My brain is just not here.  
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08:26pm 18/12/2003
  How to make a bad day worse......receive a $472.07 phone bill.
How to make a bad day better.....receive a nice phone call. Hope it doesn't put me over the limit again. :)
I suppose "Go big or go home" is my motto.		  
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07:27pm 18/12/2003
 
mood: stressed
music: The Northern Pikes - Things I Do For Money
I don't even know what to say anymore. Am I just too tired to do this? Or am I drifting away from it? I don't know. I don't log in like I used to. I guess that's a good thing...real life has it's charm. It's difficult because I don't get to see my LJ friends very often so we become ever increasingly distant. I can't go to the events, almost none of my onlne pals have been here. I primarily use this thing more as an announcement board or a rant capture more than anything. In a way, it makes me sad. It feels like I'm leaving part of my past.
Is my life really that much different than yours? Often it feels that way. I feel like I no longer have anything interesting to say. I don't post fun pics, I don't post quizzes, I spend little to no time on-line. I have no time to read the paper. I never watch tv. I'm stuck in my own "work, date, live, try to keep up" world right now. I'm scrambling. I'm frustrated. I'm cold. I'm sitting here with shit all over the floor and a desk full of bills to pay and mail to open. I have a pile of laundry that grows by the second. Work is literally killing me. Dating sucks up way more energy than it should...and sometimes less than it should.
All I want to do is curl up in a blanket and cry....a lot!
A hug would be good too.		  
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08:47pm 11/12/2003
  Just got home from work. Sigh. I hate driving to/from Ohio. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to do it all the frigging time.
This week has been hell.
I am sooo ready for the weekend.
Only one more week of work then I'm off until Jan. 5th so that is pretty sweet.
I'm cold and I'm tired and I'm grumpy.
My place is a mess and I have to pack for the Xmas party tomorrow as I'm going straight to J's house tomorrow from the airport.
What I really want is to cuddle with him by the fireplace right now.
Meh, I'd better get moving or I'll freeze to death. Stupid crappy windows.
k.		  
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Uppers and downers   
09:08pm 10/12/2003
 
music: Blonde - Call me
Today..as work day, sucked. Too long, too exhausting, too frustrating. I think my shoulders are now attached to my ears. I wish I didn't carry so much stress in my shoulders and neck. I yelled at someone over the phone today and then felt bad later because he was just trying to get his job done. I was just so damn frustrated. I quickly apologized. There is no excuse for being an asshole and I must try not to do that.
Home is good.
This song is good.
I am taking my sis to the David Bowie concert here in Jan. That should be awesome. I'm also trying to figure out a way to get to Les Miserables and the Marilyn Manson concert that is coming up soon soon soon. Problem is that I will be in Guelph that day.
I'm going to bed before 9:30pm today. Yay me! Liquid shotgun here I come.
Tomorrow, back to Ohio. Friday, off to Delaware and then rush back to a Xmas party. Sometimes I'm just too busy for my own good.		  
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11:30pm 09/12/2003
  Why am I not sleeping? I'm exhausted and I'm fighting off a cold. But for some reason, sitting at home tonight with NOTHING to do was the best thing ever. I haven't had a chance to do that in a long, long time.
Spent the last two days in Ohio for work. Got to do some hob-knobbing at a work dinner party afterward. Some of it, I'm not sure how successful it was. Let's just say that we talked far too long about my grocerygateway.com experiences when I lived in Burlington. I don't think I've ever told a story before that ended up ending with "No, I said bring me the condensed milk". Our table laughed so damn hard I thought we were going to get kicked out. Secretly, I knew that they wanted to join our table. ;) I've either made some good, powerful friends, or I've scared another group of Michiganders.
Anyway, I'm off to la-la land.		  
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01:17pm 07/12/2003
 
mood: tired
Yep.
It's all good!
k.		  
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Crisis Averted   
10:28pm 04/12/2003
 
mood: creative
music: depeche Mode
Okay, so after trying electrical tape, duct tape and other such stupidities, I decided to see if I had another dress I could wear. Hmmm, that one is too big, this one makes me look like a cow, this other is cute and I can wear a normal bra (heaven!) but it's not really that fancy. All others require that fucking bra I gave away.

So.....what am I going to do you ask? I know you all care about this.

I called a friend who works with me (I will see her tomorrow at work) who has a similar breast size and asked if she had any low backed bustiers. She has two of them. Sweet Jesus, two! Anyway, I'm picking them up tomorrow during the day.

And....as a back-up. I managed to put together the wrap around straps on a major push-up bra (so it stays put even when loose) and pinned the straps of the bra to the dress straps. Not perfect but doable if in a pinch. Plus it gives me wowza cleavage.
So now I'm exhausted and still not packed. At least I'll look good right?
Why do I go to Xmas parties?		  
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FUCK!   
08:22pm 04/12/2003
 
mood: annoyed
music: evanescence - My Immortal
-Bra with plunge V for plunge V front dress - check
-Bustier for low back dress - check
-Convertible wrap around to front straps to make most bras low backed - check
-Plastic shoulder bra straps to make straps less noticeable - check
-Stick on bra thingies for no back dress - check

Now you would think that one of these would fucking work with the dress I'm wearing tomorrow. But no, the dress I bought is low backed, spagetti strapped, plunge V neckline. Bustier is too high in front, plunge V is too high in the back, convertible straps don't really work with most bras and anyway the shoulder straps show. Bra that has removable shoulder straps so I can use the plastic ones and the convertible wrap around front strap doesn't stay on. Stick on bra shows in the front. AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! The one and only bustier that has plunge V front, no straps and a low back....I gave to my sister because it didn't really fit well...and she's in London. Going without is not an option because the dress is a little loose.
Now what the hell do I do?		  
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04:01pm 30/11/2003
 
mood: relaxed
music: REM - it's the end of the world..
To whomever invented the art of massage I say to you:

"THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART"

I. Feel. Good.

A hot bath may be just the thing now. I am soooo made to be pampered. :)		  
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02:17pm 27/11/2003
 
mood: bouncy
Had a funny conversation about snow "horrors" today and here's the quote of the day "it rained after the snow fell so I had to go out and buy an ice pickle to get through it".
I love foreigners.
It's only Thursday and so far I'm having the best weekend ever.
Had a homemade cappuccino this morning so I'm a little wonky (I'm allergic to coffee) but it was so worth it. I honestly don't think there is anything much better than a multiple nozzle shower (3 heads). Damned if they weren't aimed in the right spots. :)
Off for Thanksgiving dinner now - yippee!
I am sickingly happy at this moment.
Bounces off to get ready.		  
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02:40pm 23/11/2003
  Almost done this fucking essay.
Page 4 of 5 and I have most of the other bullshit like footnotes, etc., well under way. I'd say if I kept up this pace, I should be done the essay part in about an hour and the footnotes and bibliography finish-up can wait until another day.
I don't think I've ever had to try so hard in my life to get an assignment done. That's what I get for being so furious at the thought of doing this waste-of-time-piece-of-shit.		  
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03:29pm 22/11/2003
  Ack, only on page 2 of 5. I'm not being very productive in my report today. However this is what I have done:

-Set fire to my toaster oven (I'm talking real flames and smoke alarms going kind of fire)
-Clean out my fridge
-Put out the garbage
-Made my self a cup of tea
-Opened the mail
-Watched a show on tv
-Tried to fix my broken toaster (which is why I used/burned the toaster oven)
-emptied and then filled and ran the dishwasher
-Burned and made jewel cases for the Cd's I'm sending out
-Attempted to make my own web page
-Checked my work email
-Dinked around on LJ

I am the queen of procrastination, I swear.		  
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11:40am 22/11/2003
  Saturday morning and I have to do school work. Damnit! I want to go shopping and I want to sit in a coffee shop and relax. And there are things that I need to do like pay bills and mail things that I won't be able to get to today.
Did I mention I have no food? This is a problem when you are stuck at home doing school.
Most of all I'm annoyed at this paper "What I learned in my marketing class". How lame of an assignment can you get?
My sister says I should call it "You put the ass back into assignment".
That would be great.
This is the last assignment for this class, I just have to keep saying that.
Almost there...almost there.		  
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12:29am 22/11/2003
 
mood: uncomfortable
I'm all sore and hurty from being tense for the last couple of hours.
I just could not stop watching the discovery health channel as always. But these surgeries were exceptionally gross. They actually peeled back this girl's face from the scalp down and then detached the face bones from the skull and lifted the middle part of her face forward. Then they put chunks of hip bone in place to keep it forward (she had a sunken face from a birth defect), reconstructed new cheek bones, and screwed the whole thing together and sewed her face back on.
I actually squealed for a minute when they were prying her face up with a mini crowbar.
Wow. I'm so amazed and impressed, albeit slightly grossed out.
So much for working on my report tonight or for having a relaxing evening. Ah well, at least I had a nap earlier.
Tomorrow will be an insanely busy day, so I should get some rest.		  
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09:36pm 19/11/2003
 
mood: puzzled
music: theme from Beetlejuice
Had a date scheduled for tonight...I cancelled it because I feared for his life...and I was/am exhausted. You see, there is a weird phenomenon going on around me lately. Electronic devices beware. My computer crashed 15 times today. Yup, that's right. 15 times. And that's only the ones I counted. So I switched to my laptop and it "experienced" a fatal error and crashed. My phone suddenly died as well today - twice. The second time it completely refused to turn on. Yesterday, during a meeting, we experienced major technical difficulties with pretty much everything. Last night at school, the projector for the laptop went screwy as soon as I started my presentation. Monday, the demo recording took so long because we kept having problems with the equipment.
So you see, I'm not being paranoid.
Me + this week + technology = Ker-fucking-pow
I'd better post this before this computer crashes as well.		  
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09:09pm 14/11/2003
  Got my shit done...and I have a date. How do you like them apples?
Feel better now as I spent the day doing chores and the like - homework, laundry, cleaning, organizing. Mmmmmmm, clean is good.
Now I can go out and play. :)		  
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05:04pm 14/11/2003
 
mood: hungry
music: Ben Harper - Widow
Ouch, what a hangover this morning..ahem, afternoon. Sleeping in is good. So is Lipton chicken noodle soup.
Speaking of which, I'm hungry again.
The sun is going down and I haven't been outside yet which sucks. I just finished working on a school project but at least it is done. One more report and a presentation to do and I'm done with this fucking class. Celebrations will be in order after this one.
I wish I had a teleporter. Then I'd come to Toronto tonight.
Me'thinks I'll just hang out here, pack for tomorrow, clean up a bit, do some shopping, relax and then watch a movie. Oh yeah, and do laundry - must not forget that.
What do you buy as a baptism gift? I'm stumped.		  
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kat_o_9
 
 
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