hello! hello! hello! i havent slept or eaten since early saturday.lovely. but it's my own fault. i had a great weekend. went to see deep dish at transit. the club was really crowded. lovely. i want to write something good but i havent the slightest clue what to write about. haha. damn me for that always happening. even when tweeked outof my fucking mind! haha! so yeah! good bye!

hmmm what should i write? im not sure. i thought i had things to say but clearly i dont. lol. i need to walk to the market to get cigarettes. fun fun. i wish i drove. jessika invited me to go to tiki bobs on friday, but i dunno if i can go. i wont have a place to sleep on friday night. and saturday i have to go to penny's birthday party. i really dont want to do that either cause it's formal and i hate dressing up. (unless its in girls clothes) lol. erm. so yeah. im becoming anti-social again. isnt that fabulous! i love it. stay up all night taking a sleeping pill around 5am and sleep until 5pm.
my gran had a funeral to go to today. her cousin died. :(
my cousin jessica is getting married to a man thats almost 50 and shes only 24. sick!
well yeah time to go get cigarettes

Current Mood: moody
Current Music: sigur ross-track 4

hhhmmm. its like 4am and i cant go to bed. jessika stood me up tonight. i think that sucks. i wont see her until monday. and then most likely even then she wont come over. im so upset with her. like more than i have been. i have never sat home on a saturday night reading a fucking book. while she was doing what ever the fuck she was doing.
i want to die! i wish my meds were lethal! jessika took my razor like a month ago so i cant even cut to make myself feel better. it fucking sucks. i have no outlet to these fucking feeling.
kill me!

Current Mood: aggravated
Current Music: jet-look what you've done.

whats wrong with me? im an emotional train wreck today. i dunno why. nothing happened. im taking my meds. but i keep having points in the day where i sob like a blabbering baby. like i lost my best friend or something. its so annoying. im taking my medicine correctly, so im not sure why im like this. maybe i should make an appointment with a therapist or something.

Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: keane-snowed under

Float On by Modest Mouse

"Bad news comes don't you worry even when it lands Good news will work its way to all them plans" Laid back and real, people appreciated you for you are in 2004.

well hello.
i really dont have anything to say but im bored as fuck and need something to do with my time. nice eh?
sometimes i think the spirits hate me. c'est la vie, right?
um jessika is coming over today, but just to pick up my money for the phone bill. bleh. i asked her to sleep over but she declined my offer. saying she needs to spend more time with mike. bleh. if they ever break up i wont be there for her cause of what she is doing for me.
i also need to find a new place to live. i cant live here anymore cause im in bumblefuck new jersey not even close to public transit. plus im tired of dealing with my grammie. shes getting older and i cant handle her. she says the most off the wall things and shes losing her mind slowly.
not a good thing! no no.
i have barely any gay people on my friendslist. all dykes i think? i need to add fags. and perhaps a drag queen or 10. haha.
i need a new hair cut. i found the one i want. its just the time and effort of getting it. i always get annoyed with my hair and chop it off. not a good thing. im so impatient. i cant find a picture of it or i would post one. oh well.

Current Mood: blah
Current Music: hayden-home by saturday

these are a few of my favourite pics. i got bored so i decided to look at pics.
i didnt use a cut...sorry.

















and some more but i dont think you people wanna see em.

so yeah whats new besides the new year? i hope everyone had a fun safe holiday. i know i did. :)
um i saw jessika this weekend, which was nice. i was so happy to see her. and i think she was happy to see me. she left a few hours ago cause shes sick and stuff. we stayed at mikes all weekend. it was good to get out of the house. wo0t.
last year at this time we were on our way to arizona. hhmmm. i want to go back! to keep adam company...or something.
well yeah im done now.
bye

so jessika decided NOT to come over tonight. nice huh? but she promised she would be here tomarrow to pick me up to hang out tomarrow night.
i washed two of the dogs i didnt feel like being bitten by mischa so i didnt wash him. maybe i'll do it tomarrow. maybe.
i probablly wont feel like it. hhmmmfff.
i want to go to bed. but i wont. imma try to stay up until 5 or 6 so i sleep all day and wont have to deal with life tomarrow. i dunno. but it sounds good.
barbie called me tonight. it was nice. she was depressed. i was depressed. it was like being in the mental hospital. haha. she wants to go on a trip to italy and shoot dope into our veins. haha.
i wouldnt do that but i think its a funny idea.
i need a holiday. but a holiday from what, i dont do anything. haha.

Current Music: air-surfing on a rocket

hhhmmmm. i'm in a good mood. i slept good last night. i could have slept later but thats ok.
it's warmer outside that what it has been and i should use that to my advantage and wash the dogs but i feel lazy. haha. i always feel lazy.
did i mention jessika got me anthony for christmas. it's not the proper one but it's fine. because i love anthony. maybe causae it got me so much ass when i was in san fran. haha.
tomarrow is nye and i'm almost sure that jessika mike and i are going to momos. jessika is supposed to sleep over tonight which makes me happy as fuck. wo0t.
erm lets see what else? i dunno so yeah imma go now. maybe i'll be back when i think of something to write.

Current Music: denali-normal days