February 16th, 2004

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February 15th, 2004

11:41 pm - Damn! Its been ages since i posted here.... Sorry to all of you that used to read my journal, i bet that most of you have taken me off your list! oops! Anyways.. i had to take a break from LJ I got burnt out.!!! I am still job hunting .. no luck!!!! With all the jobs moving to India, i might just have to move to India. My friend in toronto, who was unemployed for about a year.. finally found something... but its in Sri Lanka!!! She has decided to take it. She and her husband are making plans to leave as soon as possible. I will post more later... XOXOXO Current Mood: frustrated

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November 19th, 2003

11:00 am - Tired Shazia I didn't sleep a wink last night....I went to sleep.. but my mind knew i was sleeping... ever happen to you? I was in a consious state of mind.. and i woke up early to go to library and now i am exhausted. Steven called and told me to take a nap as we have a busy day ahead.. But i have so many things to do... Call the Visa Company, Do the dishes, clean the fridge, Prepare resumes, clean the livingroom. Why is it that when steven is home.. the place becomes a mess? ok thats not fair.. i can be messy sometimes... Steven and I had an argument last week.. I asked him what he wanted to do that night and he turns around and says "i don't know what do you want to do?" and I asked him the same thing.. we are going in circles...and i got mad and snapped( did i mention it was that time of the month)... I asked him why he can't make decisions.. Ok now if i told that to my mom she would tell me to shut up and enjoy the fact that Steven wants to know how i feel and what i wanna do.. unlike most indian men who love to make most of the desicions. OK!!! so why do we argue over stupid stuff... he says that i made it into a big deal.. maybe i did... I hate making decisions most of the time...So last night we decided to start christmas shopping... and i asked him where he would like to go... while he was thinking.. i said how about Big Lots.. for stocking stuffers.. he says "how about Bed bath and beyond.. i would prefer if we go there".. then he says "when i have a preference i will let you know.. otherwise.. i don't really care what we do as long as we are together" :) AWWW!!! We walked around the whole store.... and we didn't find much... we saw a smores maker... that might be nice for the little ones( Ben, D.J and matty). So we came out of there with a stainless steel baster... $4.99(we needed one badly).. it used to be 8 bucks and some coffee perculator cleaner ... whoo joy! Walked over to bestbuy... I bought the Norah Jones cd... Now i hate hype...but i heard some of her songs... i am in love with "Come away with me". And Steven bought the "Beatles, Let it Be...Naked", re-issused version. Its sounds bitching!!!! Next Cds on my list is Frank Sinatra, Dean martin and Leonna Naess. OK off to start on my "To do " List. Current Mood: sleepy Current Music: Two of Us - Beatles - Let it Be...Naked

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November 17th, 2003

04:34 pm - Meh We didn't go to see Garrison on Friday.. Steven woke up and he was sick... and didn't feel like driving to Hollywood.. so we rented some movies and stayed home and snuggled... I like snuggling. We rented : The Good Thief ... starring Nick Nolte.. Kinda like Ocean's 11 and the Hiest... But this was set in Morrocco and paris.. So it was exotic... I think the soundtrack had a few Khaled songs.. I love Khaled :) The Mystic Massuer... Starring Aasif Mandvi, Om Puri, Jimi Mistry, Ayesha Dakhar( she was in Star wars Esp.2). It was set in Trinidad....a story about a young aspiring author whose unexpected talents as a healer brings him local fame and enabled him to realize his ambitons as a writer. It was funny and entertaining... Trinidad looks similar to Goa. Its kinda cool to see Desi people with a carribean accent. I missed my friend Sham.. who went to school with me and is now back in Trini. Saturday night : Nov. 16th 2003: Sabina came over... and we went to see Josh Rouse at the Troubadour in Hollywood. The first band was WAZ. they were ok... really tight ... but all their songs sounded the same. Sabina had seen them before couple of times. Then came Leonna Naess. She has a beautiful voice... I loved her style and her music... def need to get her cd. Jouse Rouse came on at 11.00pm. We didn't know what to expect since this was the first time seeing him play live. He was just awesome.. and sexy... grrrr!!! Ok i know i am married but i am not dead ;) He def has stage presence... and knows how to work the crowd. He is even better live.... we made a fan out of Sabina.. she was talking about driving to San Diego to catch his next show on Sunday. We got to meet a few people. Steven bumped in to Patrick park... we just picked up his cd a few days ago and steven when to tell him, how much he dug him and Patrick told Steven that he was here with Miranda Lee Richards, apparently she was standing next to me and i didn't recognise her... she looks mature and more pretty than her album cover. Steven introduced me to her ... she seemed shy and didn't know how to handle the compliments.. she is another one of my fav female Indie musician. Steven told me that Pete Yorn and Darius McCrary( Eddie Winslow from The tv series Familt matters) were there.. I didn't see them and even if i did i wouldn't have recognised them. Sabina spend some time at our place , had something to eat and then left at 1pm. It was so nice to see her.. the last time i saw her was in July. Hopefully we will see her before xmas again. Sunday: we just did some grocery shopping... and stayed home. Steven went to work later. Today: Nothing much happening today.. I have a sore throat .. started on saturday ....and i don't feel like doing much.... still looking through the classified for a job. Heh! I am going to go have come Green Tea and lay under the quilt and work on finishing Danny's Afghan. Ciao bella Current Mood: sick Current Music: Josh Rouse- Slaveship

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November 14th, 2003

05:27 pm - So much to do Bought our christmas cards... steven picked them out this year :) now i have to make a list , whom all we want to send to and who we will ignore... just kidding, actually i am not going to send any to my dad's side of the family.. they were not there when we needed them... and even when they were there.. they had to side with my dad ( even though he was totally wrong). Ah well.. only two cousins from papa's side will hear from us. One of my best freinds is getting married on the 28th of Dec. We met when we were 13 and have been in contact ever since... she still lives in Goa. I have to write a letter to her this weekend, telling her that i will not be able to make it for her wedding. Its really bugging me... since it was a promise we made each other before i left india , that we will attend each other's wedding no matter what. ARGH! Well first off I don't have my green card yet, so i can't leave the country... also i have no funds to finance my trip to India. So i guess i will have to break my promise. I do hope she understands.. I plan on making it up to her when i see her next. My cousin Stanley is getting married on the 27th of Dec.. my mom is going to be able to attend that. This sucks!!!! if i was still living at home.. mom would pay for my trip ;) Did 3 loads of laundry today.. I am feeling lighter and i have more energy. I have lost 4 pounds.. I know it is not alot.. but when you are petite it makes a huge difference. Have to do my nails and shower... We are going out to Hollywood to see Garrison Starr play. Current Mood: productive Current Music: Garrison Starr - Ugly

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November 11th, 2003

12:47 pm - Need a Break Off to Disneyland. Have to use our Annual Passes before they expire next month. Current Mood: mischievous

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November 10th, 2003

03:50 pm - OOOOHH! Sugar Withdrawals have kicked in.... I opened and closed the fridge door 5 times......I need to find my sugar free gum.... arghhhhhhhhhh!!!! Now i know why smokers find it hard to quit... I think i will go for a walk in about an hour.... to the GoodWill bookstore.... Agenda for today. 1. Pick up some xmas cards and stationary 2. Buy some seafood. 3. Recycle 4. Rent movies Happy 19th B'day Schreiber..... Now you can drink legally ( just don't tell mom).... Have Fun...... and PARTY!!!!!!!!! :) Current Mood: bored

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November 9th, 2003

08:38 pm - HMMMM... My living room smells like Tiramasu. No I didn't make or buy any... I bought some Yankee Candles. I lit the Coffee Bean aroma one... boy does it smell goooood. Just did the dishes....have to vaccum and finish the Afghan... I made one for mark and decided to make one for danny too... but my hand and shoulders started to bug me and so i stopped... Its almost done.. will post a pic of it when its complete. It will be an early b'day gift. Here is a pic of the Afghan i made for my sis for her b'day last year. She loves blue :) Speaking of gifts.. we need to start xmas shopping now... I think i will go to card shopping tomorrow... xmas cards have to go out by the end of the month... eekk. Last year i was on top of things.. Ok off to make some Egg drop soup and take a shower. Current Mood: restless Current Music: Josh Rouse- 1972

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November 8th, 2003

08:33 pm - Speaking of Atkins.. I just saw this on Yahoo and couldn't resist Breadmakers Feel Pain From Atkins Diet By DAVID SHARP, Associated Press Writer PORTLAND, Maine - Some bakers around the country are seeing a similar drop in business: With millions of people trying the diet created by the late low-carb guru Dr. Robert Atkins, overall bread sales are flat or down slightly, while bread-bashing seems to be at an all-time high. ( Read more ) To that i say sorry guys... I love bread alot..... but it goes straight to my tummy and hips :( Current Mood: satisfied

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01:14 pm - Random Thoughts Steven and I are back on Atkins. We ate out alot in October and we can both afford to loose a few pounds before the holidays. I think we might end up getting a memership to the gym, we will see. In the meantime, i am going to do my pilates and pilates based areobics. Today is my first day on atkins. The sugar withdrawals should hit by tomorrow.. Its going to be hard with pms and all. But I will be strong. I need to loose like 25 pounds. Mom and Dad( steven's folks) are going to laughlin tomorrow and will be back on the 11th. They wanted us to go with them, but with me job hunting and holidays around the corner, we just can't afford it. Maybe sometime next year. My brother might come spend xmas with us . Nothing is for sure, but we are still planning on it. This will be his first time to cali and to our place. Steven is excited, he wants to take him to all the music/club venues. He is trying to show him good local music hehe. It will be very interesting , the last time steven and schreiber spend time together was in 98 when steven came to Toronto to see me. Schreibs was only 13. He will be 19 in 2 days.. Time flies. Anyways its only after i moved to cali, schreibs and i started to get closer and realised that we are similiar is many ways. We have the same taste in movies and we think alike... this is going to be so cool... to get to spend time with my not so little brother. My cozzie Sheryl might spend some time in LA. I am not holding my breath on this one.. as she and her friends are deciding between Miami or Las Vegas/Los Angeles. I suggested the latter( ;P) She told me that she will keep me updated. That is all for now Current Mood: hyper Current Music: The Coffee Song - Frank Sinatra

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November 7th, 2003

01:23 pm - Disco Baby I am so weird... I am in a Disco mood.. need to get out my Earth, Wind and Fire, James Brown, Bee Gees records. I want to go dancing... i need to drag Sabina ( which reminds me , its been ages since we hung out). She just bought a house and is busy working overtime to catch up on the mortgage. She is one amazing single mommy. :) Speaking of Dancing.. i should go work out in a bit.. or maybe go for a walk. Current Mood: bouncy Current Music: Hey Ya! - Outkast

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November 6th, 2003

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09:04 pm - An interesting week so far Monday:Hung out at the Mall, needed a black turtle neck. Was busy getting everything ready for tuesday afternoon. Hung out with Steven and watched Tv. Tuesday: I had my first Intreview in California( or the US). It was at 2. Woke up at 10.00am. Showered and started to organise myself. I didn't have a big breakfast, as my stomach was queasy. I ate a piece of toast and had some English Breakfast tea. By 12.00 I was so nervous, i was popping Antacids one after another. Everything was happening so quickly.. I sent out my resume on the company's website on the 23rd of October. I got a call on the 29th from the HeadQuaters HR department In Los Angeles. It was a phone intreview and I guess i did very well.. she forwarded my resume to the local office in Pasadena(Urgent Care Center) and they called me the same day to set up an intreview. My appointment wason the $th of Nov at 2.00pm and i went in at 1.45pm. There were two ppl that intreviewed me. One of them kept calling me dear lol!!!! The intreview went very well but then they told me the hours.. I was expecting 9 -5 kinda hours. They said that for this position 3 days out of the week would be 7.00am -3.30pm and the other 2 days would be from 3.30pm-12.00am. I told them that i would not be able to make those hours... since i rely on public transportation for now and cannot see myself standing at the bus stop at 12.05am. Steven works nights.... so there was no way he could pick me up. Then one of the woman turns to the other and says" isn't there anything else we can put her in?" That gave me hope. But I am not qualified for the other openings as i don't have medical certificates. The job i applied for was a Medical Receptionist position. They thanked me for coming in and told me that they will send my resume to other branches for any openings i might be qualified for. They told me to think about it and let them know if i can make the hours. I called them the next day and told them i can't and didn't want to accept the job and not be able to make it and then look unreliable. I was so BUMMED!!!! I thought this was a sure thing and i had my hopes up... i saw myself working this coming week and got very excited. Later that night we went to Mark's. Steven, mark and danny were recording... Steven kept saying that this experience was a good thing...and that i have nothing to be bummed about. Easy for him to say. I told him that i can't help feeling this way and to let me deal with it my way. I had the urge to write all this in my diary that day, but mark's internet was down. Wednesday : Went to the library even though i didn't feel like it.. But i felt better once i was there.. Voluntering makes me feel useful. I wish i could get a job there. Its a very calm enviornment to work in. I am first on their waiting list. Later we went to the Dean Meetup. Steven and I signed on to volunteer with the Data entry. We were assigned to greet people and get them signed in and give out handouts. I really had fun. I am usually a very shy person and would be the one sitting at the back in the corner. But it was nice to meet people and introduce myself. We met a nice guy named Mike. He was pretty funny. Also met a girl named Liza.. who i promised to email a list of Indian American Authors. It was her first meetup. Hope we see both of them next month. Today was a Bleh day. My allergies are acting up..my head hurts and my eyes refuse to stay open. I feel like i have a head cold.. with so many people falling sick, i won't be surprised if i am too. Yuck! To top that off i think i have PMS!!!! Current Mood: disappointed Current Music: Silence!

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November 2nd, 2003

02:27 pm - I am seriously comtemplating if i should give my LJ link to my family. Part of me says that I have nothing to hide and this way they can see what i am upto by checking in. And the other side of me says NO! I want the freedom to write about them.... esp if it is mean, and i don't want to upset them as i might be sorting my issues by writing about my past. But this way they can see how they have influenced or hurt me. What should a Girl Do? What do you think? Current Mood: thoughtful

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01:11 pm - Happy belated Halloween!!! I had a blast on Halloween. In the morning, I spent some time with "G" helping him pack. "J" moved out last weekend, she is moving in with her sis , I guess. I met his dad, real cool and funny guy, now i see where "G" gets his sense of humour. When steven got home, had some Indian food and took a shower and headed out to the Steinbergs. This was matty's second halloween( he is 2years old) His first halloween was a disaster, he was wearing a clown costume, he didn't like it.. made it as far as the next door and he started howling and screaming and had to be taken home. This Halloween he was excited, I think he got the hang of it. When we walked in he said " Hi!! I am thomas" and steven thought he said "Hi dumbass" LMAO!!! Matty was thomas the engine. D.J( who is 3) was a pirate and Ben ( who is 8) was dressed as Indiana jones..his costume was made at home and it was brilliant. Renee and her mom are genious with the sewing machine. So we headed out the door at 6.30 and it was raining.. we went anyways with umbrellas. Matty got the hang of trick or treating very quickly. He was so damn cute with his "Tick or teat" lol. And then he would say "thanks" after he got his candy. He is a doll baby. DJ is showing signs of OCD. He would walk up to the house a certain way and had to.....HAD to come down to the sidewalk the same path. What the hell!!! When he gets tucked into bed, you have to make sure his blanket is "tangle" free and tucked into the corners neatly or he will wake up Renee or David at one in the morning to fix the tangles. Sheesh!!! Before he could walk, he would crawl to the kitchen and would close any cabinets within reach if they were open. The good side about this behaviour is that DJ loves to clean up after playing... all u have to say is DJ put your toys back. He also wipes his plate clean with his napkin after he is done eating... no need to rinse lol. When we got back, we changed their clothes and dried their hair.. and got them settled in warm clothes. matty showed me his backpack.I said " oh cool it has scooby doo on it" and Matty says " yeah scary boo" oooooh that just hit high in the cutenest factor. Thats steven's fav line. We spent the night there, had margaritas and sour cream and onion chips and watched some Pink Floyd dvd footage and then some of Michael moore's Awful Truth dvd. I will post pics of the boys soon. I really loved seeing halloween through a child's prespective. I can't wait to see matty @xmas time :) Current Mood: amused Current Music: Josh Rouse - 1972

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12:07 am - Being Twenty something... They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are just as confused as you are. You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, o r maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward. You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender! What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. Current Mood: cold

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October 29th, 2003

12:38 pm - I am a Winner!!! Well actually i just won something on ebay. I have been watching it for 3 days.. and in the last 5 mins i put in my bid and kept tracking it and I was the highest bidder. The item is Deepa Mehta's Earth. Its so hard to find a place that rents it. so i just went ahead and i bought. I have read the book Cracking India, by Bapsi Sidhwa , and i loved it. I have read great reviews about this movie and i hope that i will not be dissapointed. I heard that it is intense.. but ofcourse, it is a mehta film :) Steven and I watched Rabbit Proof Fence last night. Now that was fucking intense. The plot summary is : Based on a True Story. Between 1905-1970, The Australian goverment would remove half caste( half white and half aboriginal) children from their families and send them into training schools run by christians. The darker children would be trained to be house keep and helpers. The fairer skinned would be sent to a finishing school, and then would be married to a full blood( white person). This is done so that by the third generation, there is no trace of aboriginal at all in that family- skin color and feature wise ) This was supposed to be "good" for the half caste children. Molly Craig decides to lead her little sister Daisy and her cousin Gracie in a daring escape from the camp/school. Molly and the girls become a part of what is known as "The stolen Generations". The girls must elude the authorities on a dangerous 1500 mile adventure across the australian outback/desert climate,to find the rabbit proof fence, that bisects the continent and will lead them home. This movie is based on a book by Molly's daughter, Doris Pilkington Garimara. Kenneth branagh is brilliant as usual. I highly recomend this movie... don't forget to watch the documentary in the special features section on the dvd. Current Mood: giddy

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October 27th, 2003

12:57 pm - Southern California is Burning. Steven's Brother Scott and his family live up in Arrowhead in Blue Jay. They were in Denver for the past few days as Corrie had to attend a Ice Skating Contest. They can't go back home... they are staying in Palm Springs at the moment. They don't even know if they have a house left. On tv they showed arrowhead in flames. Can you imgaine the feeling of not having a home? I do hope that their house is safe and still standing. And steven wanted to live up there. He changed his mind. I can't even see the San Gabriel Mountains.. there is so much smoke in the air. Its creating havoc on my sinues. I think i have a sinus infection. I know it seems petty to complain about sinues when people have much more at stake. Poor Steven was having a hard time too, since he is asthmatic. RAIN! We need Rain now more than ever!!! The good news I guess is that the Santa Ana Winds have died down, so this will help the fire fighters to curb the fires and help keep things in control. UPDATE: Watching Kcal9 news and they just mentioned that the fire did not reach Lake Arrowhead and Blue Jay. They are still in danger, and if the fire crosses Highway 18, it would all burn . The town has been evacuated. Current Mood: worried

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